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Dads want to change their babies' diapers. It's time society listens.

Do you know what's worse than babies with blowout diapers? Not having a safe place to change them.

The lack of changing stations is a struggle for moms as well, but I'm here to share the fatherhood side of the story. And as a dad with two young kids under the age of 5, I know this all too well.

I remember taking my 2-year-old daughter out to lunch while my wife and our oldest daughter enjoyed a mani-pedi day.

This particular establishment had a great kid's menu, and my daughter was enjoying herself immensely. But then it happened.

My non-potty trained 2-year-old looked up at me and said, "Daddy, I have poo-poo."

"No problem, I got this," I smiled. Off to the men's restroom we went.

No changing station in sight.

"Well, maybe they have a family restroom instead," I thought.

Nope, they didn't.

At that point, my kid was quite fragrant. I was about to call Terry Crews to handle the intense odor if I couldn't find a place to change her ASAP.

Terry knows how to handle odor. GIF via Old Spice.

Finally, I asked an employee if a changing station existed anywhere in the restaurant.

"Yes, we have one in the women's restroom," she replied.

"I need to change my daughter's diaper," I said. "Can I go in there (the women's restroom)?" She left to ask the manager, and instead of waiting, I just paid our bill and changed her in the backseat of my SUV.

This diaper crisis isn't new to fathers.

One celebrity dad ranted about it recently, and other everyday dads like me deal with this on a daily basis.

My thoughts during an interview on the lack of changing tables in men's restrooms. GIF from California Senate Democrats/YouTube.

We can do better.

Here are three simple reasons why we need to change the whole men's room diaper setup.

1. It's sexist.

First, let's identify the real enemy here.

If an establishment chooses not to have any changing stations in their restrooms, that's 100% fine by me. Although I'm a parent, I'm not naive enough to believe every business needs to be kid-friendly. Heck, when I have a rare "grown folks only" moment, there are places I enjoy visiting just because they don't cater to children.

The source of my ire stems from the businesses that consciously decide to add changing stations in women's restrooms but don't do the same in the men's restrooms.

We're not just talking about businesses that were built in the 1950s, either. Many of them are brand spanking new and still have no place for dads to change their kids' diapers. It sends the damaging message that it's women's work, and that couldn't be further from the truth.

Can you imagine what the meetings must've been like when the decisions were being made to put changing stations in women's restrooms only?

GIF from "The Tonight Show."

What about single dads? Gay dads? Dads who are out by themselves and have no choice but to change their babies on the grimy public restroom floor? This happens a lot.

Moms don't like it either. Nonsense like this sets them back 50 years. Enough is enough.

2. It's a really bad look for business owners.

Again, we're not talking about the businesses who unapologetically choose not to cater to children. We're talking about the ones like the restaurant I visited that had a kid's menu but no changing station available for dads to handle diaper business.

Don't be surprised if the government gets involved. It happened recently in California with the Potty Parity for Parents Act championed by state Sen. Ricardo Lara, a Democrat. The 2014 bill required a changing stations in men's restrooms if stations existed in adjacent women's restrooms. At the very least, family restrooms needed to be accessible to both men and women.

Seems like a no-brainer, right? The bill passed out of the General Assembly with a bipartisan vote of 56-8. There was even a big press conference with Lara and other parents discussing the importance of this legislation.

I gave my two cents to the audience about the importance of this legislation. Image courtesy Doyin Richards.

Sadly, California Gov. Jerry Brown vetoed the bill citing it as a "private sector" issue, disappointing many Californians in the process. For the sake of parental equality, hopefully other legislators will pick the ball up that Brown dropped.

And for those who believe this shouldn't be legislated, remember 25 years ago when people used to be able to do this on commercial airplanes?


Smoking on planes? That's not going to fly these days. GIF via "The Carol Burnett Show."

That looks like the craziest thing ever now, and if we relied on the private sector to solve the problem, you better believe people would still be lighting up at 30,000 feet today. Sometimes you have to legislate common sense in order for progress to occur.

3. This doesn't help create a world of good dads.

Good dads are going to change their kids' diapers no matter what obstacles are put in front of them. But why do these obstacles need to exist in the first place? In 2016 and beyond, doesn't it make sense for moms and dads to have places to do this? I've been known to call businesses ahead of time to ask if changing stations exist in men's restrooms before I take my kids there, and it's an unnecessary hassle.

With racism, poverty, global warming, and other important items to deal with, I'm sure there are some people who believe, "Aren't there bigger problems to focus on than changing stations in men's restrooms?"

Maybe.

But when a man's baby has a blowout diaper and there's no place to change said baby, there's no bigger problem in the world to him in that moment, I promise you.

Let's give a thumbs up to the businesses that understand that dads change diapers, too.


I'm always happy to see a changing table in men's restrooms. Image courtesy Doyin Richards.

Men who value fatherhood make the world a better place for everyone. We should make it easier for them, not harder.

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Pop Culture

Mom leaves a 'heartbreaking' gift to flight passengers sitting next to her baby

"That's a mom trying so hard."

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

@callmebelly♬ BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

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travel
Fatherhood

Dad and daughter relationships, as explained by 10 paintings.

The amazing bond between dads and daughters.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

I have plenty of space.


It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

relationships, fathers, dads

I’ve got this.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.

daughters, daughter, father

Sharing life strategy.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.

bonding, dad, child

Tight fitting hula-hoop.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.

family bond, parent, child-bond

Dad makes time.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.

love, guidance, play

Let’s play.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

6. Dads help us see the world from different views.

sociology, psychology, world views

Good shoulders.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

7. So much so that we never want them to leave.

travel, inspiration, guidance

More dad time please.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.

protectors, responsibilities, home

Always the protector.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.

superhero, monsters, sleeping

Dad is superman.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

daddy-daughter bond, leadership, kids

Never a big enough bed.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.

This article originally appeared nine years ago.

From Your Site Articles
Science

Innovative farm in Virginia can grow 4 million pounds of strawberries on less than one acre

This method uses 97 percent less land and up to 90 percent less water than conventional farming.

Photo credit: Canva

A new way to grow strawberries with less land, less water, and more berries.

Strawberry farm harvests aren't something most of us calculate on a regular basis (or ever at all), but the numbers from a strawberry farm in Richmond, Virginia, are staggering enough to make it worth an old-school word problem. If the average American eats 8 pounds of strawberries a year, and an average strawberry farm yields approximately 20,000 pounds of berries per acre, how many people could a 200-acre strawberry field feed?

I won't make you do the math. The answer is 500,000 people. But what if a crop that size, providing enough strawberries for half a million people, could be grown on just one acre instead of 200? It's possible. You just have to go—or rather grow—up, up, up.

Indoor vertical farm company Plenty Unlimited knows a lot about growing up. In fact, it's their entire business model. Instead of the sprawling fields that traditional farming methods require, vertical farms have a much smaller land footprint, utilizing proprietary towers for growing. Plenty has used vertical farming methods to grow greens such as lettuce, kale, spinach and more for years, but now it boasts a vertical berry farm that can yield a whopping 4 million pounds of strawberries on a little less than an acre.

Growing indoors means not being at the mercy of weather or climate inpredictability (barring a storm taking out your building), which is wise in the era of climate change. Unlike a traditional greenhouse which still uses the sun for light, Plenty's indoor vertical farms make use of the latest technology and research on light, pinpointing the wavelengths plants need from the sun to thrive and recreating them with LED lights. Plenty farms also don't use soil, as what plants really need is water and nutrients, which can be provided without soil (and with a lot less water than soil requires). Being able to carefully control water and nutrients means you can more easily control the size, taste and uniformity of the berries you’re growing.

If that sounds like a lot of control, it is. And that idea might freak people out. But when a highly controlled environment means not having to use pesticides and using up to 90% less water than traditional farming, it starts to sound like a solid, sustainable farming innovation.

Plenty even uses AI in its strawberry farm, according to its website:

“Every element of the Plenty Richmond Farm–including temperature, light and humidity–is precisely controlled through proprietary software to create the perfect environment for the strawberry plants to thrive. The farm uses AI to analyze more than 10 million data points each day across its 12 grow rooms, adapting each grow room’s environment to the evolving needs of the plants – creating the perfect environment for Driscoll’s proprietary plants to thrive and optimizing the strawberries’ flavor, texture and size.”

Plenty even has its own patent-pending method of pollinating the strawberry flowers that doesn’t require bees. Even just the fact that this enormous crop of strawberries will be coming from Virginia is notable, since the vast majority of strawberries in the U.S. are grown in California.

strawberry fieldTraditional strawberry farming takes up a lot of land.Photo credit: Canva

Plenty's Richmond farm is currently growing strawberries exclusively for Driscoll’s.

“Partnering with Plenty for the launch of the Richmond Farm allows us to bring our premium strawberries closer to consumers in the Northeast, the largest berry consumption region in the U.S.,” Driscoll’s CEO Soren Bjorn said in a press release. “By combining our 100 years of farming expertise and proprietary varieties along with Plenty’s cutting-edge technology, we can deliver the same consistent flavor and quality our customers love — now grown locally. This new innovative farm is a powerful step forward in continuing to drive category growth in new ways for our customers and consumers.”

Is Plenty’s model the farm of the future? Perhaps it’s one option, at least. The more we grapple with the impact of climate change and outdated, unsustainable farming practices, the more innovative ideas we’ll need to feed the masses. If they can get 4 million pounds of strawberries out of an acre of land, what else is possible?

From Your Site Articles
agriculture
Culture

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard open up about being attracted to other people - and why that's OK

For many couples, bringing up such a sensitive topic can cause some major jealousy.

via The Walt Disney Company / Flickr

One of the ways to tell if you're in a healthy relationship is whether you and your partner are free to talk about other people you find attractive. For many couples, bringing up such a sensitive topic can cause some major jealousy.

Of course, there's a healthy way to approach such a potentially dangerous topic. Telling your partner you find someone else attractive shouldn't be about making them feel jealous. It's probably also best that if you're attracted to a coworker, friend, or their sibling, that you keep it to yourself.

But, being open about your sexual feelings, can be a way to spice things up in the bedroom and to let your partner know what you like.

Actress and mental health advocate Kristen Bell admits that she and her husband, actor Dax Shepard, have learned how to be open about their attraction to other people. The couple believes that being able to talk about such taboo topics without making each other jealous is a great way to preserve their relationship.

"He can tell me someone he finds attractive, female or male, 'cause he pauses the Olympics on a lot of runners, but it doesn't make me feel like he's going to leave me for that person because I'm not allowing my self-esteem to be affected," she explained.

Bell believes that it's completely normal and healthy for people in monogamous relationships to be attracted to other people.

"I know there are people on planet Earth that are more attractive than me, and well, we're not dead. I have to acknowledge we're monkeys," Bell said. As an attractive, famous couple working in Hollywood, there is extra pressure for them to be able to handle their jealousy.

The couple has also done a good job at accepting the fact that Bell is the primary bread-winner in the family. Studies show men have higher levels of stress if their wives earn more than 40% of their home's combined income.

About a third of women in the U.S. make more than their husbands.

While Shepard has had a successful career, acting in films such as "Idiocracy" and "Without a Paddle," Bell has starred in some major hits including, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and the "Bad Moms" films.

She's also made a pretty penny voicing Princess Anna in Disney's "Frozen" franchise.

"I think I've always out-earned him," Bell said about their careers. "I got a lot of opportunity, you're sharing in it, we're able to provide for a ton of our family members who may or may not be struggling," she continued, as if addressing Shepard. "I don't look at it like, 'This is mine and this is yours.' I'm like, 'This is ours. Get over it.'"

Bell believes that the couple's ability to get over petty jealousy is one way to make sure their unique relationship stands the test of time.

"Do you want to be on the porch with someone when you're 80?" Bell asked. "We both want that."


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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celebrities
Modern Families

Boy moved to tears after learning his new puppy was a gift from his recently deceased father

A wonderful final gesture.

via Inside Edition/YouTube and WZZM13

Logan Kavaluskis holds his new puppy for the first time.

At 47, Joe Kavaluskis lost his nine-year battle with multiple myeloma, a rare blood cancer, on January 8, 2020, leaving behind a wife and two sons. But that didn't stop him from fulfilling one of his son's dreams a week later on his 13th birthday.

In the final days of his life, he told his wife, Melanie, to buy their son, Logan, a puppy after he passed. He thought the dog would brighten his spirits after such a loss and it was something he always wanted but couldn't have. Joe was allergic to dogs so he couldn't have one in the home.

"He said, 'Just promise that when I do pass, that you get Logan a puppy as soon as you can, because I know that it will bring him a lot of comfort,'" Melanie Kavaluskis told Inside Edition.

Throughout his childhood, Logan had hermit crabs and lizards, but never the puppy he always wanted. When he was 3 years old he got a stuffed Boston terrier and named it Puppers and took it everywhere he went for years.

Joe thought it was the right time for him to have a real Boston terrier of his own.


13-year-old cries as he's surprised with dog from late dad.www.youtube.com

A week after Joe's passing, Melanie told her son Logan they had to drive to Midland, Michigan to pick up a puppy, but he had no idea it was a gift for him. Halfway through the drive home, his cousin Jon broke the news.

"That's from your dad. That's your dog," Jon told an astonished Logan. "Really? Logan replied.

The 13-year-old boy looked down at the dog and he still couldn't believe it was his. "'Dad wanted you to have a puppy," his cousin said.

"Words can't explain the shock," Logan later told WZZM13. "I had to ask 'really?' again, just to make sure it was my dog and not a horrid prank."

The family has named the dog Indy and Logan says he's a great fit for the family.

"He fits to all of our needs. Cuddles with my mom and my brother and plays with me, unless I want him to relax," Logan said.

Melanie thinks that her husband's final gesture may have been his best.

"He got it right. This was amazing. This gift is just perfect. Perfect timing," she said.

Kid gets surprise gift after dad's death.www.youtube.com

Joe's gesture may have done more than just cheer up his son. Research shows that pets can be a big help for kids who are grieving.

"Pets can help improve mood," said Gina McDowell, a licensed professional clinical counselor and behavioral health clinical educator at the Big Lots Behavioral Health Pavilion at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus, Ohio, in a Huffington Post article.

"Playing with pets often creates positive emotions that can last throughout the day and may even help manage symptoms of anxiety and depression," she continued.

It has to be terribly frustrating to be suffering from a terminal disease knowing you'll be unable to comfort your children when you're gone. But Joe did one of the most beautiful things imaginable by fulfilling one of his son's dreams while also giving him a way to cope in a time of need.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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