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Parenting

Devastated dad shares why he didn't tell his 10-year-old daughter it was her birthday

“I don’t know if we made the right decision…It’s killing us.”

neurodivergent kids, neurodivergent parenting
@kylephilippi/TikTok

“Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day."

Kid’s birthdays are both lovely moments of celebration, and potential sources of stress for any parent, for various reasons. For dad Kyle Philippi (whom we’ve previously covered for dressing up as Jafar to cure his friend of an irrational phobia), his daughter’s 10th birthday was particularly full of anguish—since he didn’t tell her it actually was her birthday.

In a video posted to his TikTok that amassed close to 3 million views, the concerned dad shared his unique plight that brought him to this unusual decision: his daughter’s birthday falls on Jan 2, over winter break, meaning most kids wouldn’t be able to attend her birthday party. Two years prior, the Philippi found this out the hard way, when they tried to throw a party on the day, and no one showed.

“She was devastated,” Philippi let out through a sigh.

@kylephilippi We’re about 60/40 on whether this was a good idea… #birthday #parenting #parentingtips#autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #auditoryprocessingdisorder #surprisebirthday #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Kyle Philippi

Then last year, they tried a different approach. Instead of a big social gathering on Jan 2, they had a more intimate environment of just the family and one close friend, followed by a proper party once winter break was finished. At this point Philippi explained that his daughter is on the spectrum and had auditory processing disorder—so even though she had fun at both events, she still couldn’t understand why her friend couldn’t show up on her actual birthday, and was still disappointed. That’s never what any parent wants for their kid.

To make matters more sensitive, Philippi shared that his daughter was beginning to not be invited to other classmates' parties, and suspected that part of why she yearns to have a party with all her friends there was because “she knows she’s not getting to go to everyone else’s birthday.”

Hence why Philippi and his wife decided to try something new by simply not acknowledging the birthday until they can do a party with his daughter’s school friends. Understandably, though the choice was made with the best of intentions, when Jan 2 came, there were tons of conflicting feelings.

Photo credit: Canva

“I don’t know if we made the right decision. But here we are,” Philippi shared. “Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day…and it’s killing us.”

Down in the comments people—especially those with special needs kids, or were autistics themselves—were quick to reassure Philippi that he made a tough, but right call.

“As an autistic person who struggles with birthdays, you’re doing the right thing. it’s a little unconventional, but so are kids like us!! keep it up,” one person wrote.

Another added, “these ‘decisions’ are so hard but you are doing great by taking it all into consideration and trying to do what will help her feel great on her birthday.”

It seems the real thing worth noting here is that Philippi and his wife are trying to make their kid’s birthday the best it can be for her, and that’s truly admirable. Odds are nearly every parent can relate to this on some level. And for parents with neurodivergent kiddos, that can often mean navigating uncharted territory. Maybe they’ll try a different approach next year. Maybe not. What matters is they’re trying.

And from the looks of it, the actual birthday wasn’t a total wash. In a follow up video, we see that Philippi’s daughter got her favorite chicken wings for dinner, and got to plan her upcoming birthday…which will apparently be Raggedy Ann themed.

@kylephilippi Replying to @mamamcsorley1 She ate her favorite meal today and we continued to plan out her ultimate birthday party in 9 days 🙂 #birthday #parenting #parentingtips #autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #auditoryprocessingdisorder #surprisebirthday #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Kyle Philippi

Naturally, Philippi will be going as Raggedy Andy, per his daughter's request.

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Joy

A stray dog saves her dying puppy’s life by bringing her to the veterinarian in Istanbul

A dog's motherly instinct and trust in humans saved a puppy's life

@beylikduzu_alfa_veteriner

A stray dog brought her lifeless puppy to the doorstep of a local veterinarian clinic, saving its life.

In the Beylikdüzü district in Istanbul, security camera footage showed a stray dog holding a puppy in its mouth and bringing it to the doorstep of a local veterinary clinic. The veterinarian that answered the door found the puppy lifeless and took it in while the pup’s mother followed.

The puppy received emergency treatment, as it was dying from a slow heartbeat due to the cold outside. Throughout the treatment, the mother dog stayed at her puppy’s side. Thanks to quick action and care, the puppy survived and is being cared for at the clinic alongside its mother. This puppy turned out to be related to another puppy that was brought in by other animal lovers beforehand, with the belief that it was the sole survivor of its litter.

"We thought all of them had died. It turns out there was one sibling that survived,” said veterinarian and clinic owner, Baturalp Oğhan in an interview. “When our technician noticed the situation, he brought it inside. We realized the puppy's heart was beating. We placed it in intensive care. It is currently continuing treatment with its sibling."


A veterinarian treating a puppy on a table in a clinic as a mother dog watches nearbyThe puppy's mother stayed with her child as the veterinarian administered treatment.@beylikduzu_alfa_veteriner


While it is unfortunate that the rest of the litter had passed, this mother dog’s actions not only saved one of her pups but had reunited her with another one.

According to World Population Review, there is a pet dog in 30% of all households globally. There are 90 million pet dogs housed in the United States alone. Bear in mind, that is counting the dogs that are housed and cared for by humans. Just imagine how many dogs are still out there like that mother dog, along with the number of dogs that sadly didn’t make it like that lucky puppy.

Two puppies eating out of a bowlThe puppy is recovering nicely alongside its sibling.@beylikduzu_alfa_veteriner


While it is remarkable that this mother dog, out of memory, instinct, desperation, or a combination of those traits took her puppy to the clinic, the onus cannot be on dogs themselves to receive the help and care they need. Fortunately, there are several animal shelters and clinics that can help care for these animals, but they still need to find ways to get there. Not all of them have smart dog mothers that can get them to a helpful human vet.

Puppy sleeping against a mother dogThe puppy lives thanks to its mother's quick action and trust in local veterinarians.@beylikduzu_alfa_veteriner

If you wish to help out a stray animal, such as a dog or cat, there are some steps you can take to be prepared if the situation presents itself. The Humane Society has a bunch of quality tips, such as keeping your car with supplies like fresh water, bowls, pet food, heavy blankets,and such to keep the animal comfortable while waiting for animal control to arrive at the scene or if you choose to transport them yourself to a nearby shelter. Before you stock up, you should research to see if there are any state or local laws regarding housing lost or stray animals to make sure you’re following the legal methods.

We share a lot of space with “man’s best friend” and the least we can do is be a best friend back to them, especially when they’re in need.

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Health

A body temperature expert explains why some people are always freezing

And there's a scientific reason that it's more common for women.

Photo by Sohaim Siddiquee on Unsplash

We all know someone who's always cold no matter what.



You wear extra chunky sweaters. You've never met a mitten you didn't like. You may even keep a lap blanket at work.

You're one of those people who is always cold. And you are not alone.

Inside or outside, you just can't seem to get warm. This characteristic of yours manifests itself in extra blankets, wild heating bills, and enough complaints about the temperature that you start going hoarse.

But surely there's a scientific reason as to why some people are always cold, right?

It can't just be random chance that has doomed you to a life of perpetual shivers. I reached out to an expert to learn more.

Dr. Christopher Minson is a professor in the department of human physiology at the University of Oregon. One of his primary research interests is thermoregulation—how the brain and body interact and adapt as we heat and cool. Plainly put, he is the perfect guy to answer a few questions from #TeamAlwaysCold.

(This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.)

Upworthy (UP): So what is actually happening in the body when a person gets chilly?

Dr. Chris Minson (CM): In the simplest of terms, feeling either cold or warm means that the temperature “set point" of the body is being challenged by thermal inputs throughout the body, including in the brain, the blood, the spinal cord, our organs, our muscles, and our skin. Part of our brain collects all of those thermal inputs and essentially compares them to what body temperature it wants to hold. So if your skin temperature is lowered, even though the rest of your body is still at a comfortable set-point, you will feel cold — in some cases, cold enough to make behavioral changes like putting on a sweater.

UP: Is there a reason this seems to largely impact women?

CM: The people who feel “always cold" will typically have lower muscle mass relative to body surface area (typically, women and older people). Their actual body core temperature may not really be below normal, but they feel cold because their body is telling them to conserve heat.

There have also been limited reports that women have a higher density of blood vessels at the skin surface, which would make them more sensitive to cold. However, there hasn't been enough good data collected on this theory to confirm or disprove it.

UP: This also explains a frequent frustrations about women and men in relationships...

CM: A common complaint by women and men in relationships is that women's feet are often very cold, especially in bed. That goes along with the lower body mass to surface area relationship in women. As their body works to conserve heat, it vasoconstricts blood vessels in the extremities (hands and feet) to keep the core warm. This reduced blood flow results in cold hands and feet in women more than men.

gif of shivering woman in sweater

Women really do feel the cold more.

assets.rebelmouse.io

So basically, your brain is simply an overworked project manager trying to keep you alive. But there are a few things you can do about it.

UP: If you are a person who is always cold, is there anything you can do to "retrain" your body, so to speak?

CM: One of the best things someone can do is to increase their fat-free mass (muscle). This will increase overall metabolic rate (although it's not easy to do.)

Another thing a person could do is undergo cold-stresses, such as allowing themselves to be exposed to very cold temperatures for short periods of time. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it's been suggested that this could decrease the sensation of feeling cold. An example is putting the water on 'cold' for a short period of time in the shower. Not easy to do, and you would want to build up to a full minute each day, but in some people it can help them to decrease the feeling of being cold.

UP: There are a lot of jokes at the expense of people who are always cold, but at what point does it go from "I'm always cold, and it's a quirky thing about me" to "I'm always cold and I should probably see my doctor?"

CM: There is the possibility that someone's perpetual coldness could be caused by abnormally low thyroid hormone levels, and that can be verified with a blood test. That is by far the rarer condition, but taking hormone supplements if medically needed can help. If a person is quite lethargic, has low motivation, and is always cold, it might be worth having thyroid hormones evaluated.

Doctor and patient talking

Visiting your doctor can also identify other issues such as anemia.

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

So if you are a lap-blanket wearing member of #TeamAlwaysCold, don't fret.

You are strong. You are capable. And unless you have pain or some of the symptoms Dr. Minson mentioned, there is likely nothing wrong with you. Our bodies just require different things of us, and yours requires that you have to deal with an overly-air conditioned-society. My sincerest apologies. On behalf of #TeamHot, your next cocoa is on me.


This article originally appeared seven years ago.

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Education

Teacher of the year explains why he's leaving district in unforgettable 3-minute speech

"I'm leaving in hopes that I can regain the ability to do the job that I love."

Lee Allen

For all of our disagreements in modern American life, there are at least a few things most of us can agree on. One of those is the need for reform in public education. We don't all agree on the solutions but many of the challenges are undeniable: retaining great teachers, reducing classroom size and updating the focus of student curriculums to reflect the ever-changing needs of a globalized workforce.

And while parents, politicians and activists debate those remedies, one voice is all-too-often ignored: that of teachers themselves. This is why a short video testimony from a teacher in the Atlanta suburb of Gwinnett County went viral. After all, it's hard to deny the points made by someone who was just named teacher of the year and used the occasion to announce why he will be leaving the very school district that just honored him with that distinction.

In a video carried by Fox5 Atlanta, 2022 Gwinnett County Public Schools Teacher of the Year Lee Allen breaks down what he sees as the overriding problems in the county's school system. While his comments are specific to that of Gwinnett County, it's virtually impossible to not see the overlap across all of America and how the problems have become exponentially more challenging as students have migrated back to in-person learning.

"At the end of this year, I will be leaving Gwinnett County Schools, leaving behind the opportunity to submit for state teacher of the year, roughly $10,000 in salary, and most importantly, the students and colleagues I've built strong relationships with," Allen, a math teacher at Lawrenceville's Archer High School, says at the beginning of his remarks. "I'm leaving in hopes that I can regain the ability to do the job that I love."

Normally, one might assume teacher pay is the overriding issue for educators like Allen. But he makes it clear that he is, in fact, leaving money on the table to avoid what he deems as unacceptable changes to the student body and how the district manages its teachers and the learning environment. Here are his main grievances, in order:

  • "First issue at hand is student apathy and disrespect for school rules and norms. … We have an alarming number of students that simply do not care about learning and refuse to even try."
  • "We are also experiencing incredible disrespect and refusal to follow basic school rules. There is little to no accountability or expectation for grades or behavior placed on students or parents. Rather than being asked what the student can do to improve their understanding, teachers are expected to somehow do more with less student effort."
  • Cell phone use. Teachers simply cannot compete with the billions of dollars tech companies pour into addicting people to their devices. Phones allow constant communication, often being the spark that fuels fights, drug use and other inappropriate meetups throughout the day. We need a comprehensive district plan with support behind it in order to combat this epidemic and protect the learning environment."
  • "Lastly, there is a huge disconnect between administrators and teachers. The classroom in 2022 is drastically different from just three years ago. Most administrators have not been in a classroom full-time in years or even decades. Many teachers do not feel understood, valued or trusted as professionals from administrators and the decisions that they make."

While Allen points fingers at administrators and student behavior, he also says that the pressures put on both students and teachers alike by COVID-19 had a catastrophic impact on learning. "The pandemic has acted as a catalyst and turned a slow negative trend into an exponential crisis," he says.

But he also offers some solutions, stating, "I won't list complaints without offering ideas for improvement."

  • All administrators should spend at least one week in a high needs classroom, "without a suit, without people knowing your title and in the same room, all day, for an entire week."
  • Prioritizing smaller class sizes.
  • Greater transparency from the district in terms of needs and expectations and goals.

"We all want the same thing and we cannot accomplish this without supporting one another," he says near the end of his remarks.

With more than 400,000 views already, it's clear his remarks resonated with people not just inside his school district.

There's almost nothing more important than how we educate our children. And while the national political debate centers on areas of far less importance generated to gin up controversy and campaign fundraising, it's families and local leaders who will need to do the heavy lifting of reprioritizing the fundamental principles of learning and leadership if we want an American educational system that can compete on the global stage in 2022 and beyond. After all, when literal award-winning educators like Allen are walking away, it's clear something more needs to be done.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Woman delights with insanely accurate recreation of legendary  'Dirty Dancing' routine

Now, I've had the time of my life...

Representative Image|Flickr

Woman recreates famous dance from 'Dirty Dancing' for birthday

You'd likely be hard pressed to find a woman born in the early 80s that hasn't memorized nearly every line from the iconic movie "Dirty Dancing." Many spent hours in front of a mirror practicing every dance Baby had to learn so they could don their flowy dress to give their spins the perfect amount of realism. An entire generation is transported when those famous words, "now, I've had the time of my life...," croon over a speaker no matter where they are.

A woman from Portugal decided she was going to become Baby for her 40th birthday party and she was not messing around. The woman, Raquel, uploaded the video to her social media page Miolo Mole e Bitoca.

Raquel stands in what appears to be a dance hall decorated to look like the infamous last dance that closes out "Dirty Dancing." She's in a pink dress that looks nearly identical to Baby's and that familiar tune starts to play. The camera pans to her partner dressed like Johnny Castle in all black, and yes, they did the dance step by step.

A large screen was set up right behind them playing the dance scene behind the pair as the nailed the dance. Now, they didn't disclose if they practiced the lift in a lake to stay completely true to the movie, but they nailed it nonetheless. Commenters on the internet are absolutely delighted with the recreation of the famous dance.

"Now y'all did that. Man y'all put a smile on my face. Dirty Dancing is my all time favorite movie," someone says.

"I've never smiled like a Cheshire cat as much as I just did watching that! Proper cheese but I loved it," one person writes.

"Not me bawling my eyes out and smiling so big, this is everything! One of my all time favorite movies and you can tell you's had so much fun and share so much love for one another," another commenter cries.

Watch the entire nostalgia inducing video below:

@miolomoleebitoca Meus 40 anos tema Dirty Dancing #dirtydancing #dirtydancingchallenge #patrickswayze ♬ Dirty Dancing: (I've Had) The Time Of My Life - Dynamite

This article originally appeared last year.

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Internet

Nail salon made an ad that's so funny people are taking roadtrips just for a manicure

Nailed it.

Representative photos by Wonderlane|Flickr and Aris Leoven|Canva

Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there and without word of mouth it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. This is why many businesses have social media pages to advertise services without having to spend a lot of money on television ad space. Advertising pictures and videos of amazing work can help keep a steady flow of customers, but one Canadian nail salon is going with a different approach.

Henry Pro Nails in Toronto, Canada is leaving the internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video takes several viral video clips but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in completing the viral moment in hilarious different ways.

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry lays out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "come to my nail salon, your nails will look beautiful." The video doesn't stop there and has certainly having the desired effect.

In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative and people in the comments can't get enough, some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now internet famous, Henry.

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a roadtrip! My bf and I are legit getting ours and its only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately made all other places disappointing and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.

It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but the service gets them to come back. This isn't Henry's first rodeo at making creative ads, though this one seems to be the one that takes the cake. If you're ever in Toronto and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.


This article originally appeared last year.

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