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Mental Health

The CREEP method makes it easy to see if you're being played by a narcissist or manipulator

"Don't get played."

narcissist, woman and man, woman angry, lying man, man on couch, couple fight
via Canva/Photos

A woman who is skeptical of her man.

If you are a psychologically healthy person, it’s easy to fall victim to a narcissist or manipulator because you’re not assuming that other people are playing games with you. You just go along to get along. But if you’re in a relationship with a manipulator, they could be playing a long game that slowly unfolds until the moment you realize that you are in an unhealthy relationship. Hopefully, that time comes sooner rather than later. Some people have relationships that last for decades before they realize they have been manipulated.

A popular TikTok user named @Mewmewsha, who refers to herself as "Older Sister," is going viral for a video where she makes it easy to understand the tactics that a manipulator or narcissist may use to control you. She presents it in an easy-to-comprehend anagram—CREEP—which outlines the stages of manipulation, and she also shares her methods for countering each stage. CREEP stands for charm, rage, envy, entitlement, and pity.

“Everyone who's ever manipulated you was following a playbook, and I'm gonna teach it to you so you can recognize when it's happening to you. Cause if you don't learn the game, you'll keep getting played,” she opens her video.

@mewmewsha

Learn the game so you stop getting played - here’s how to outsmart manipulators and covert narcissists by learning their playbook

What is the CREEP playbook used by covert narcissists and manipulators?

1. Charm

“They will act like your soulmate or best friend. They'll flatter you, mirror you, they'll use your language, they'll adopt your mannerisms, and you'll feel so seen and understood. And it is very intoxicating and very deliberate. They are building emotional leverage, they're collecting data. Charm is the bait. And once you're hooked, it only gets worse.”

Counter: “Slow down, because if it's genuine, that charm will last. But if it's fake, soon enough, when charm doesn't get them what they want, you will meet rage.”

2. Rage

“Rage can be loud, but it can also be quiet. It's not always explosive. It can be cold and cruel, stonewalling, contempt, a sudden withdrawal of love and attention. …It's designed to confuse you and guilt you and make you think you need to fix something because you wanna go back to the charming person that was just there a second ago.”

Counter: “You need to detach emotionally, give them nothing, absorb nothing. And the moment you can, you need to leave.”

3. Envy

“Narcissists hate it when you're happy, successful, and independent because it makes you harder to control. Envy will show its face in subtle sabotage. They'll be trying to undermine your achievements. They'll constantly be trying to humble you.”

Counter: Share less, move in silence. The more they know, the more they’ll sabotage you.

narcissist, manipulator, covert narcissist, self-absorbed woman, princess, blonde woman A narcissistic woman.via Canva/Photos

4. Entitlement

“Since they feel like they own you, they expect access to you, your time, and your energy always.”

Counter: Set boundaries.

5. Pity

“When all else fails, they'll act like the victim. They will use your empathy against you. They'll weaponize sadness. They'll cry. They'll act helpless and defenseless. They'll dredge up some old trauma. They will make themselves the victim so they can guilt you into compliance.”

Counter: “Be kind, not nice. Being nice puts you at risk. It makes you feel responsible and self-sacrificial. But when you are kind, it means you have compassion with boundaries.”


It’s worth noting that @mewmewsha isn’t a licensed therapist, so when it comes to mental health issues, it's best to consult a professional. However, her advice does mirror a lot of the standard wisdom surrounding narcissists and manipulators. An article reviewed by Yolanda Renteria, LPC, notes that narcissists have an abuse cycle that repeats itself: “It involves first idealizing a person, then devaluing them, repeating the cycle, and eventually discarding them when they are of no further use.”

We should also be careful not to assume that when someone we know starts acting enviously or entitled, it necessarily means they are a narcissist. It could just be part of normal behavior and emotions. We all have our bad days and personality quirks. So, the counters mentioned above are a great way to tackle everyday interactions with friends, family members, and coworkers when they take a turn for the negative. But when their behaviors start to fit the classic narcissistic and manipulative narrative, then it’s time to be concerned and to question their motivation.

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Woman gives tour of her $650 New York micro apartment and people were unprepared

Could you live in this apartment?

incognito7nyc/Flickr & Canva Photos

A woman ruffled some feathers with a tour of her $650 NYC micro apartment.

They say New York City is the City of Dreams. Young people all over the world flock to the city when they're ready to start chasing after their biggest ambitions. If you have a passion for theater, television, or the arts, there's no better place to be. Want to become a successful and prestigious stock broker, lawyer, or investment banker? It's all New York, baby. It's a city of immense opportunity and tough competition, but that's what makes it full of life and culture for those who choose to live there.

But all of that doesn't come cheap. The average rent in New York for even just a small, studio apartment is $3,264 per month. That buys you less than 500 square feet. And, even though it seems like you're really pinching pennies by living somewhere so cramped, that price tag is enormous! Even if you account for the higher-than-average salaries in New York.

Most young people just getting started in their careers can't afford that. Not to mention, the competition for good-quality apartments in New York is cutthroat. Still, people are desperate to live there by any means necessary, which has given rise to some really fascinating (and, in some cases, slightly horrifying) micro apartments.

In 2023, one woman went viral for showing off her New York micro apartment. It clocks in at just 80 square feet and cost her, at the time, a meager $650 per month.

new york, new york living, NYC, tiny apartment, micro apartment, apartment tour, budgeting, gen z, millennials, american dream If you like spending all your money on rent, New York is awesome! Giphy

YouTuber Caleb Simpson interviewed the woman, Alaina, for his channel that specializes in featuring interesting and unique living spaces. Alaina's apartment definitely qualifies, though technically the square footage is 80x150, because she's including the vertical space. Every square inch counts!

"So really it just feels like a walk-in closet," Simpson remarks upon entering through the front door.

Alaina shows Simpson around the apartment, which includes a tiny living room slash kitchen area with a mini-fridge, a small sink, and a small stove and microwave. In the main living area, she's placed a fold-out sofa of sorts. Alaina's makeup and pantry foods are all crammed into one small cabinet.

From there...well, there's not much left to see. But Alaina and Simpson check out the loft, which holds Alaina's bed and a little extra storage in the form of hooks where she hangs her bags and purses.

The apartment has no windows. There is a storage cupboard under the stairs, but it's hard to access.

"Every time I want to get something out, something else has to move," Alaina says.

As far as a bathroom, Alaina is lucky enough to have her very own private bathroom complete with shower! Many New York micro apartments feature communal or shared bathrooms, so the private bath is a plus for this tiny space. However, hers is located separate from her apartment, down the hall. And, you might be surprised to hear, it's extremely tiny.

Alaina admits she previously lived in a "luxury" apartment that cost over $3,000 per month, but she wanted to free up money to travel, which prompted her to downgrade.

Watch the whole tour here:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Alaina says her tiny apartment was a "hot commodity" when she signed the lease, beating out tons of other prospective renters.

Commenters on the video, which has a staggering 24 million views, were more or less horrified at the conditions that New Yorkers were competing over:

"Firetrap . No exits , no windows with fresh air . Cooking with no air flow . Crazy this is even happening"

"I can't even breathe looking at this tiny apartment"

"'In a van, down by the river' has never sounded better."

"NYC should be ashamed and embarrassed to relegate people to live in this kind of space. Not only does it look uncomfortable / unhealty but It looks extremely dangerous. NYC should do better in providing affordable housing with decent square footage."

It's cool and scrappy that Alaina makes the pint-sized apartment work for her as she pursues her dream of living in New York City. We might find it claustrophobic, but the fact that multiple renters were fighting over this space really says a lot about the way our culture is moving.

Younger millennials and Gen Z are sick of chasing after the American Dream of the single-family home with a white picket fence and a golden retriever.

new york, new york living, NYC, tiny apartment, micro apartment, apartment tour, budgeting, gen z, millennials, american dream The City That Never Sleeps Giphy

It's hopelessly out of reach for many of them anyway due to skyrocketing housing prices and stagnant wages. So, they can work their fingers to the bone with multiple jobs and maybe afford a slightly better apartment, but still not be able to save enough for the future—or they could actually enjoy their life with the money they do have.

NBC News writes, "Several years out of Covid lockdowns, younger Americans’ outlays on things like travel, recreation and dining out have been outpacing their older peers’ even as the economy slows. As of last summer, the average Gen Zer or millennial was dropping over $400 a month on nonessentials, compared to about $250 for Gen Xers and less than $200 for baby boomers."

In another YouTube interview, Alaina admits to spending big money on her monthly gym membership: over $300 per month, to be exact. Commenters chastised her for having her priorities mixed up, but honestly, there's nothing backwards at all about wanting to relax at your gym's spa after a long day of work, or travel to the far ends of the world, versus spending all of your money on an OK-but-still-crappy apartment.

In an update in the YouTube video's caption, Simpson writes that Alaina chose not to renew her lease in the micro apartment after filming. But that doesn't mean she regrets her stay.

"It's an adventure," Alaina says. "People need a lot less than they think they need."

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Singer in hospice soulfully performs 'Landslide' cover 'one last time'

She was Stevie Nicks in a Fleetwood Mac cover band for over 20 years.

via Recordsnet and Matt Becker/Wikimedia Commons

Singers Marirose Powell and Stevie Nicks.

The final performance of singer Marirose Powell has people welling up all over TikTok because of the soulful way she sang “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac while in hospice care. Powell performed as Stevie Nicks in a Fleetwood Mac cover band for over twenty years, so the song was a major part of her life.

A week before she died from cancer, some friends showed up at her home and asked what she would like to sing. "And she said, 'I want to sing ‘Landslide.' And so she sang ‘Landslide’ one last time," Powell’s daughter-in-law, Sam Xenos, who posted the video on TikTok, told People.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

In the video, Powell grabs the railing over the medical bed as she sings a song about the inevitability of the passing of time. The song had to have taken on an even greater meaning as Powell was in the final days of her life. “I’ve been afraid of changing because I built my world around you,” Powell sings. “Time makes you bolder, and even children get old and I’m getting older, too.”

“My mother-in-law performed as Stevie Nicks for decades,” Xenos wrote in a video overlay. “This was her final performance before she passed the following week.” In the caption, she added there wasn't “a day that goes by that I wish we’d had more time with her. She was truly the only person I’ve ever known to leave people better than she found them. Until we can be together again, mama.”

Powell passed away on April 10, 2024, at 62.

@samxenos

there isnt a day that goes by that i wish we’d had more time with her. she was truly the only person i’ve ever known to leave people better than she found them. until we can be together again mama…

In her obituary, she is remembered for her “infectious smile” that “guaranteed to brighten anyone’s day and she was known for her incredibly kind soul and generous heart. She had the beautiful ability to leave all those she touched better than she found them.”

In addition to performing as Steve Nicks, Powell released 3 solo albums and worked as an ER nurse. As a lifelong musician, she would probably be more than pleased to learn that her final performance has touched many people.

"I hope Stevie Nick sees this. She would be proud to know that your mom sung her songs for decades,and her choice of this song was heartfelt," one commenter wrote. "I’m sobbing. God bless you and your family. Your mom is beautiful," another added.

"That might be the most touching performance of ‘Landslide’ to ever exist," a commenter wrote.

Xenos and her husband, Powell's son, are overjoyed that the video has gone viral. At first, she was afraid of how her husband would react to the clip being posted on TikTok. "I remember calling my husband nervous because he didn’t know I posted it," Xenos told Upworthy. "He was over the moon after reading the comments and seeing people feel her genuine soul from that small clip. He asked me to post more videos of her and they have generated a phenomenal response. She was the most giving and generous person. I would tell her to post her music and she was worried no one would care. I’m so honored to have proved her wrong on that fact."

Nicks says she wrote “Landslide” in Aspen, Colorado, at 27. "I did already feel old in a lot of ways," Nicks told The New York Times. "I'd been working as a waitress and a cleaning lady for years. I was tired."

She was also having a hard time in her relationship with Fleetwood Mac guitarist Lindsey Buckingham. She composed the song while looking out her window in the snow-covered Aspen mountains. "And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills / Til the landslide brought me down."

Here is a full performance of “Landslide” that Powell gave in 2016 at the Prospect Theater in Modesto, California. Jamie Byous joins her on guitar.

- YouTube youtu.be


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Retired teachers in their 30s live on cruise ships full-time for a little over $10K a year

“It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense."

via Matthew Barra/Pexels

A cruise ship could be your home for a way lower price than you'd expect.

You know that feeling toward the end of a great vacation when you stop and think: I wish I could stay here forever. It might be an all-inclusive resort, a secluded beach, or a fun-filled cruise on the high seas that you just don't want to leave. Of course, for most people, it's a fantasy. You can't just quit your job and live a permanent vacation. But what if you could?

Giving it all up and retiring to live on a cruise ship at 32 seems like a lifestyle choice only available to the ultra-wealthy. However, two financially savvy retired school teachers from Tennessee have managed to do just that, spending under $10,000 for the first eight months at sea.

Monica Brzoska, 32, and Jorrell Conley, 36, met in 2015 while teaching in Memphis, Tennessee. The following year, they booked a week-long cruise to Mexico, Belize, and Grand Cayman. After that, they were hooked on cruising together.

Eight years later, in March 2023, they booked a week-long Caribbean cruise and had the time of their lives. When it was over, instead of returning home to Memphis, they had a wild idea: Why not continue to book consecutive cruises? So, they did just that.

Monica was inspired to start living the life she always wanted after her father fell ill and her mother told her: "Don't wait for retirement. Follow your dreams."

The couple crunched the numbers and found that if they chose the cheapest cabins and used the deals and promotions they’d received from Carnival Cruises, they could book the first 8 months for just under $10,000.

That's not per month. That's the total, coming out to around $1250 per month. Not a bad deal whatsoever. Plus, the more cruises they book, the more perks and deals they get.

“It sounds mad, but the numbers made sense. Accommodation, food and entertainment would be included – we’d only need spending money,” Brzoska told The Sun. “And because we’d been on so many Carnival cruises, we’d earned access to some amazing offers.”

Hopping from ship to ship isn’t difficult for the couple because many disembark from the same ports. But they sometimes have to fly when they can’t walk to the next ocean liner.

The couple then quit their jobs, sold their possessions, and started a new life on the high seas. They rent out their 3-bedroom home in Memphis to maintain steady cash flow. The average 3-bedroom home in the area rents somewhere between $1200 to $1900 a month.

Over the first year of their new life, the couple completed 36 consecutive cruises.

They have already visited countless destinations across the globe, but they can’t choose a favorite. "For a cultural experience, we loved Japan," Brzoska told a Carnival Cruise director on Instagram. The couple also loved Greece for its “history” and Iceland because it was the "closest to being on Mars."

More recently, they've spent time in Amsterdam, the UK, Germany, Belgium, and more. What an amazing adventure.

One of the most incredible benefits of loving on a cruise ship is that so many things are taken care of for you. The couple never has to cook any meals, do any laundry, or drive. Every night, there is something to do, whether it’s checking out a comedy show or enjoying drinks and dancing in the nightclub. Plus, there are always new friends to meet on board with every new cruise.

Plus, on cruises, just about all the costs are covered, so you rarely have to open your wallet. It’s a stress-free, all-inclusive lifestyle. Brzoska says that when you remove the everyday stresses from life, it’s great for your marriage. “Without the daily stresses of life, we rarely argued, but always told each other if we needed space or more time together,” she said.

Brzoska and Conley were one of the first high-profile couples to get attention, followers, and media coverage for the permanent cruising lifestyle, but they're definitely not the only ones. It's an especially popular choice for retired adults and seniors, who find it cheaper and way more fun than living in a retirement community or nursing home. It's also a great choice for people who can work remotely and flexibly, or who own their own digital-nomad-friendly businesses.

The couple also makes sure to have one date night a week, during which they dress up and have a nice meal together.

As of this writing, the couple has been cruising full-time for over two years, or 916 days to be exact. They've been on 106 cruises and visited over 45 countries together. Absolutely unreal.

Most people may be unable to give it all up and live their lives hopping from ocean liner to ocean liner. But there’s a great lesson in the story of Brzoska and Conley: You never know how much time you have left, so don’t wait for retirement to live the life of your dreams.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.


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Dad's brilliant hack reduced toddler's drawn-out bedtime routine from 90 minutes to just 15

"Fellow dads, hope this helps you."

Image via Canva

Dad shares brilliant bedtime trick that helped toddler's bedtime routine.

Putting kids to bed at night can quickly turn into a circus, and all parents know that sometimes you have to get a little creative when it comes to getting little ones to settle down and actually fall asleep.

In a Reddit subfoforum of dads, member TrashPandasAndPizza shared with fellow dads the epic bedtime trick that helped him: "We’ve been struggling since January with our 3-year-old’s bedtime routine dragging out for more than an hour. Last month it was over 90 minutes, with all the bargaining and pleading for 'one more (insert random activity)' before saying goodnight."

It was clearly not working...until he found a brilliant solution. "A menu changed all of that. We created a card and drew little icons in the pages to represent all the different activities he has ever requested at bedtime - song from the phone, songs sung by mom or dad, a game of hide and seek, a story, you name it," he wrote. "We left space to add more options as he gets older. We also included an option for if he wanted his bedroom door open or closed."

go to sleep, bedtime, bedtime routine, toddler bedtime, bedtime hack Ben Stiller Go To Bed GIF Giphy

He explained that the "menu" had truly changed bedtime from a nightmare into a manageable situation. "Now, he chooses 3 activities and the door option, and that’s it. No fuss," he shared. "We show him the menu if he forgets his options but otherwise we have been able to cut bedtime down to 15-20 min max. Fellow dads, hope this helps you."

Dads were ecstatic about the creative bedtime hack. "100% this. We just didn’t realize he needed the visual aid to 'remember' his choices and help limit the choices," one shared. Another also wrote, "Works with confused adults also, most of the time."

Another dad added, "'Make them believe it was their choice/idea'" was the first advise I got when I became a manger. Timeless advise in many ways." Some dads noted the strategy worked for them as well. "Yeah also my solution. Each day same bed time. Warn them you will set a timer. 5 minutes later timer goes off. We go to bed. No buts, no ifs. We go to bed."

bedtime, sleep, kids sleep, kids bedtime, toddler sleep Tired Good Night GIF by Disney Giphy

Other shared their bedtime tricks that worked for them. "We haven’t implemented the exact same solution, but in general pivoting the conversation from 'I need you to do this' to 'do you want to do A, B, or C' has really helped us. When my son gets the power of choice, he feels much more empowered within the overall process and things run smoother. This also applies to all sorts of things outside of bed time," one commented.

Another dad chimed in with, "Yeah, my toddler likes to cuddle before bed, if they are being fussy or energetic at bedtime I just ask, 'Do you want to go in the crib or cuddle on dad’s shoulder?' She chooses shoulder every time, but that means she’ll be in her bed within 5 minutes. Rarely fights it anymore. In my limited experience. Asking them what they want to do works better than telling them!"

sleep, sleeping toddler, bedtime, bedtime trick, bedtime routine Tired Baby GIF Giphy

Another shared his successful bedtime experience with storytelling: "We've had success with having him help tell his own bedtime story about what he will dream about. What animal will you dream about? Oh an elephant? And where will you be, The beach?!, and what will you do on the beach? Build sandcastles, that sounds great! You'll dream of building sandcastles on the beach with an elephant. OK, I love you, Good night, dream of that elephant at the beach. For whatever reason, him making choices in a prompted story works for us."

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People are nostalgic for the charm and character of real teeth in the age of fake perfection

"Is it weird to miss regular looking people that were also just uniquely beautiful?"

David Shankbone (left) and Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

When did we decide everyone needed to have perfect teeth?

Beauty standards are weird. For the most part, we all agree that they are nonsense, yet so many of us also feel compelled by invisible forces to abide by them. There's a reason that beauty is a billion-dollar industry and why cosmetic surgery has been steadily on the rise.

However, there is a breaking point. When everyone's features start to look the same, the unique beauty of the individual gets lost. We're starting to see beauty "upgrades" become so ridiculously fake and uniform that those "ideal features" are losing their appeal. People are finding themselves yearning to see the very "flaws" and "imperfections" those procedures were designed to erase.

beauty standards, plastic surgery, kylie jenner, kardashians, fake features kylie jenner kardashian GIF Giphy

Case in point: natural teeth. Straight teeth have long been #smilegoals, but today's model chompers go far beyond standard orthodontia. In many cases, famous folks with money to burn are paying thousands of dollars per tooth for veneers that give them smiles that could not be more perfectly straight, white, and aligned. Impressive? Sure. Beautiful? Depends on who you ask.

A montage of older celebrity photos has people lamenting the veneer trend and longing for the days when people's smiles were unique and part of their individual beauty. Some of these folks definitely had braces and some whitening done, but their teeth were still their own. Others clearly embraced their gaps, chips, overlaps, and crookedness, and people are celebrating them for it.

@popculturemilkshake Replying to @corinneelizabeth08 chips, gaps, gums, caps and crooked charm. I miss the teeth of yesteryear too 🦷 #early2000s #teeth #beautystandards #naturalteeth #charming #backintheday #uniquebeauty ♬ Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers

The irony is that some of these people actually had what were considered "perfect" teeth at the time. Veneers really have skewed our perception of what's real and what's not, which is all the more reason for responses like this:

"I miss real people."

"Is it weird to miss regular looking people that were also just uniquely beautiful?"

"I really miss how human everyone looked."

"Real teeth give people's faces more character."

"Did you guys ever think we'd be here reminiscing about natural teeth?"

"Movies from the 90s/00s looked more realistic because hair and teeth and makeup weren't 'perfect.' People looked like people and unique and had their own sense of style."

"Gosh I miss normal faces. The homogenization of the filter botox filler iphone face is brutal and makes me feel so dysmorphic about my own when I'm just like a normal pretty girl."

"I feel like it's really important to let the young ones know that all of these people were considered good looking. They were the beauty standard. We weren't being dentally inclusive. The beauty standards just became more uncanny."

That really sums it up. Beauty standards as a social reality go back millennia—it's not like we just all of a sudden developed them. But they're always morphing based on all kinds of factors, and the current factors are creating a strangely homogenous look when people put all of those standards into practice. The result is that these "beautiful" faces become boring, fake, and yes, uncanny.

We're not meant to look like cartoon characters, and we're not all meant to look alike. We are human. We have unique features and imperfections. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look your best or to wanting change something that might be a distraction rather than a charming element of your physical appearance (looking at you, acne), but a lot of what people lament as flaws are really just part of their unique charm. The number of people gushing over Anna Paquin and Patricia Arquette's crooked teeth should be enough to ease any insecurities people have about their teeth. The reality is that what society's beauty standards deem unattractive are often very attractive to real people.

Maybe it's time we started celebrating the things real people find beautiful instead of going along with artificial, algorithm-created standards designed to feed our insecurities and line the pockets of folks who capitalize on them.

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