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COVID-19 has made the overlooked Black maternal health crisis even more vital to address

COVID-19 has made the overlooked Black maternal health crisis even more vital to address
Photo by Andre Adjahoe on Unsplash

"New normal." That's the phrase ushered in by the novel coronavirus and the devastating scourge of death from COVID-19. "New normal" is the only way we as a collective can explain our current way of life: Social distancing, face mask wearing, working and teaching from home, constantly conferencing over Zoom and scheduling telehealth appointments instead of physically seeing a doctor unless absolutely necessary.

However, not all characteristics of "normal" life are easily converted to digital expression. Specifically, giving birth.

Right now as the United States grapples with more than 100,000 COVID-19 deaths, a resurgence of the virus in a dozen states, and massive demonstrations over the most recent murders of unarmed Black men and women, there is one crisis that is not getting the same attention, a crisis that has been allowed to linger and fester in this country for decades: The glaring disparity in the maternal death rate and infant mortality rate for Black mothers and their newborns.


Pre-pandemic numbers show that Black women are three to four times more likely to die during childbirth than are white women, and Black infants are twice as likely to die at birth or immediately after than are white infants.

"The thought of losing a child that didn't even get a chance to live life is truly terrifying," says Rebecca Merriweather, who recently gave birth to a baby girl.

Merriweather wasn't aware of the statistics surrounding Black maternal health and infant mortality when she learned she was pregnant, but already had concerns of her own: "Preeclampsia and possible complications during labor and how to avoid them." Preeclampsia is a pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure and is 60% more common in Black women compared to white women.

"Oftentimes women take very good care of themselves," said Certified Nurse Midwife Marsha E. Jackson CNM, MSN, FACNM. "They're often knowledgeable, they're eating right, they're doing all the right things, and they start running into problems with their blood pressure creeping up and things like that and it stems back to our whole healthcare system and all of the hurts we as Black people have experienced for centuries."

To help stave off some of those complications, Dr. Chandra Adams, M.D. has had to find new ways to keep up with her patients health while also providing them the best care.

"We're doing telehealth visits, which works pretty well, but we had to work out getting blood pressure cuffs, encouraging people to buy them, that way if they aren't coming to the office we can keep up with their vital signs," Dr. Adams said.

In the midst of the pandemic some Black women have been taking their birth experience into their own hands, looking for alternatives to decrease their risks and exposure to the coronavirus and any complications that could impose on their pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Those alternatives include midwifery care.

"More Black women go to the hospital to have their babies, but I think with this pandemic we have had an increase in women seeking our services," Jackson said. Jackson is the owner, co-founder, and director of BirthCare & Women's Health, Ltd. based in Alexandria, Virginia, a midwifery practice that caters to clients who have births in their homes or in the BirthCare birth center.

Dr. Adams, The Owner of Full Circle Jax in Jacksonville, Florida runs a private practice with doctors and midwives on staff. While she believes in the midwifery and birth center model, she cautions that it is not for everyone.

"I'm not opposed to out of hospital birth, but I don't think any decisions about birth should be made out of fear . . . You shouldn't run from a hospital because of a perceived danger without understanding what the risks are of delivering outside of the hospital."

Tecoya Harris, currently pregnant with her first child, admits to having mixed feelings about giving birth.

"I feel anxious about delivery due to the fact that I can't anticipate how it will feel," Harris said. "At the same time, my faith is high so I have to trust that God has brought me to this moment because I am ready. Having resources, a strong partner, and a doula also helps bring down some of those anxieties."

Dr. Adams strongly advocates for her moms to have a doula, and also encourages pregnant women to use their voice to advocate for themselves.

"I've been hearing women saying [about health problems] 'I've never brought it up again because I was afraid of what a doctor would say to me,' and so they just stopped talking about their problem. Don't stop talking about your problem! Go find somebody who's going to listen to you, and treat you like someone who respects you, and will find out what's wrong. That's our job. That's literally our job!"

While that may be the job, history shows the healthcare industry has a negative track record when it comes to listening and believing Black women when they say something is wrong.

"The system has done a terrible job of listening to Black women," Dr. Adams said.

Tennis superstar Serena Williams and Olympic-gold medal winner Allyson Felix have both been vocal about their birth experiences, the complications they faced, and how they had to fight to be heard to get well. Yet their stories, though cautionary, still end with a positive outcome. The same cannot be said for Charles Johnson IV who lost his wife Kira in 2015 when she bled to death after the birth of their second child.

"They [were] under the care of a physician, and basically they just let her die," Jackson said, recounting hearing Charles Johnson IV tell his family's story during the 2020 virtual conference of the American College of Nurse Midwives.

Jackson and Dr. Adams believe some of the blame for the Black maternal health crisis lies with ever expanding physician practices.

"One of the biggest problems was when hospitals started to employ physicians," Dr. Adams said. "Physicians, before, when we started we'd hang our shingle and open solo practices. You had the personal care because in the similar fashion of the mom-and-pop shop you were responsible for the level of customer service, and that is how you kept your 'customers' coming back."

Now, many physicians are employed by hospitals or large doctor groups who are more focused on productivity. Dr. Adams said that has led to a decrease in time doctors have with their patients, which can lead to a decrease in care. Because of this, Dr. Adams and Marsha Jackson both say Black women need to educate themselves in every way.

"You have to do research in the beginning. You want to find out what kind of options are available," Jackson said.

"But you're not going to go to medical school," Dr. Adams added. "There's a certain amount that you can't just get from Googling or reading on your own . . . but if you gather enough information about people you'll find what you're looking for."

This advice applied before the pandemic hit. Now, the country's response to COVID-19 has made it all the more important for pregnant Black women to do their research, assess their risks, and have the hard conversations with their doctors.

On her birth experience, Merriweather said, "The labor and delivery ward where I had my child was very meticulous in keeping the section of the hospital cut off from the rest to protect the lives of the mother and baby from the virus. Each doctor and nurse was only allowed to work in that division of the hospital and had to be tested before being allowed in while wearing masks."

For Harris, hearing of positive birth experiences from friends and loved ones has helped to keep her spirits up, even in the face of the pandemic and Black maternal health crises.

"Although it is scary, seeing that other women have had healthy babies and deliveries give me hope," Harris said. "Our bodies were made to do this and we are already amazing moms with every decision we make during pregnancy."

Pandemic or no pandemic, Dr. Adams—who has been focused on the Black maternal health crisis for over a decade—says while this discussion isn't new, people are finally being heard and there is responsibility for doctors and Black women.

"What is unfortunate in the healthcare system is that Black women are not listened to, we are not treated with respect, and we are not believed when we present valid complaints," she said. "[But] what is actually physically killing us is hypertension and hemorrhage. We are not dying from people not being nice to us. We are disenfranchised and we're not receiving the appropriate amount of preventative care, and sometimes responsive care, because of that."

In early March, U.S. Representatives Lauren Underwood, Alma S. Adams, and Senator Kamala Harris introduced the Black Maternal Health Momnibus Act of 2020. The legislation is a package of nine individual bills aimed at "comprehensively addressing every dimension of the Black maternal health crisis." However, the package has received little exposure due to COVID. Once again, Black women, mothers, and their children are left to fend for themselves at a time when Black people are twice as likely to die from COVID than their white peers.

With the future passability of the Black Maternal Health Momnibus Act unknown, and the expected resurgence of COVID-19 in the fall (or until there is a vaccine) the onus remains on Black women to educate and advocate for themselves and their unborn children, and perhaps to seek a collaborative model of care where available.

"Cooperative care between midwives and physicians is essential," Dr. Adams said. "You have to have a midlevel to understand what is normal. [Someone] who has been trained enough to see enough to know what is abnormal and to appropriately refer to someone to handle when something is abnormal."

Planet

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

It's super easy, no purchase or donation necessary, and you help our oceans! That's what we call a win-win-win. Enter here.

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗
True

Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're bringing back our favorite giveaway with Ocean Wise. You have the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Our recommendation? Celebrate love for all your people this Valentine's Day! Treat your mom friends to a relaxing spa trip, take your best friend to an incredible concert, or enjoy a beach adventure with your sibling! Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner or enjoying a movie night in, your next date could be on us!

Here’s how to enter:


  • Go to upworthy.com/oceandate and complete the quick form for a chance to win - it’s as easy as that.
  • P.S. If you follow @oceanwise or donate after entering, you’ll get extra entries!

Here are the incredible dates:

1. Give mom some relaxation

She’s up before the sun and still going at bedtime. She’s the calendar keeper, the lunch packer, the one who remembers everything so no one else has to. Moms are always creating magic for us. This Valentine’s Day, we’re all in for her. Win an eco-friendly spa day near you, plus a stash of All In snack bars—because she deserves a treat that’s as real as she is. Good for her, kinder to the ocean. That’s the kind of love we can all get behind.


Special thanks to our friends at All In who are all in on helping moms!

2. Jump in the ocean, together

Grab your favorite person and get some much-needed ocean time. Did you know research on “blue spaces” suggests that being near water is linked with better mental health and well-being, including feeling calmer and less stressed? We’ll treat you to a beach adventure like a surfing or sailing class, plus ocean-friendly bags from GOT Bag and blankets from Sand Cloud so your day by the water feels good for you and a little gentler on the ocean too.

Special thanks to our friends at GOT Bag. They make saving the ocean look stylish and fun!

3. Couch potato time

Love nights in as much as you love a date night out? We’ve got you. Have friends over for a movie night or make it a cozy night in with your favorite person. You’ll get a Disney+ and Hulu subscription so you can watch Nat Geo ocean content, plus a curated list of ocean-friendly documentaries and a movie-night basket of snacks. Easy, comfy, and you’ll probably come out of it loving the ocean even more.

4. Dance all day!

Soak up the sun and catch a full weekend of live music at BeachLife Festival in Redondo Beach, May 1–3, 2026, featuring Duran Duran, The Offspring, James Taylor and His All-Star Band, The Chainsmokers, My Morning Jacket, Slightly Stoopid, and Sheryl Crow. The perfect date to bring your favorite person on!

We also love that BeachLife puts real energy into protecting the coastline it’s built on by spotlighting ocean and beach-focused nonprofit partners and hosting community events like beach cleanups.

Date includes two (2) three-day GA tickets. Does not include accommodation, travel, or flights.

5. Chef it up (at home)

Stay in and cook something delicious with someone you love. We’ll hook you up with sustainable seafood ingredients and some additional goodies for a dinner for two, so you can eat well and feel good knowing your meal supports healthier oceans and more responsible fishing.

Giveaway ends 2/15/26 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at upworthy.com/oceandate

guitar, learning a skill, neuroscience, music, exposure, passive exposure, gardening

A woman learning how to play guitar.

Learning a new skill, such as playing an instrument, gardening, or picking up a new language, takes a lot of time and practice, whether that means scale training, learning about native plants, or using flashcards to memorize new words. To improve through practice, you have to perform the task repeatedly and receive feedback so you know whether you’re doing it correctly. Is my pitch correct? Did my geraniums bloom? Is my pronunciation understandable?

However, a new study by researchers at the Institute of Neuroscience at the University of Oregon shows that you can speed up these processes by adding a third element to practice and feedback: passive exposure. The good news is that passive exposure requires minimal effort and is enjoyable.


"Active learning of a... task requires both expending effort to perform the task and having access to feedback about task performance," the study authors explained. "Passive exposure to sensory stimuli, on the other hand, is relatively effortless and does not require feedback about performance."


woman reading, woman book, young woman, studying, new skills A woman reading a book.via Canva/Photos

How to pick up new skills faster?

So, if you’re learning to play the blues on guitar, listen to plenty of Howlin’ Wolf or Robert Johnson throughout the day. If you’re learning to cook, keep the Food Network on TV in the background to absorb some great culinary advice. Learning to garden? Take the time to notice the flora and fauna in your neighborhood or make frequent trips to your local botanical garden.

If you’re learning a new language, watch plenty of TV and films in the language you are learning. The scientists add that auditory learning is especially helpful, so listen to plenty of audiobooks or podcasts on the subject you’re learning about.

But, of course, you also have to be actively learning the skill as well by practicing your guitar for the recommended hours each day or by taking a class in languages. Passive exposure won't do the work for you, but it's a fantastic way to pick up things more quickly. Further, passive exposure keeps the new skill you're learning top-of-mind, so you're probably more likely to actively practice it.

What is passive exposure?

Researchers discovered the tremendous benefits of passive exposure after studying a group of mice. They trained them to find water by using various sounds to give positive or negative feedback, like playing a game of “hot or cold.” Some mice were passively exposed to these sounds when they weren't looking for water. Those who received this additional passive exposure and those who received active training learned to find the water reward more quickly.

gardening, woman gardening, gardening shears, leaning gardening, weeds A woman tending to her garden.via Canva/Photos


“Our results suggest that, in mice and in humans, a given performance threshold can be achieved with relatively less effort by combining low-effort passive exposure with active training,” James Murray, a neuroscientist who led the study, told University of Oregon News. “This insight could be helpful for humans learning an instrument or a second language, though more work will be needed to better understand how this applies to more complex tasks and how to optimize training schedules that combine passive exposure with active training.”

The one drawback to this study was that it was conducted on mice, not humans. However, recent studies on humans have found similar results, such as in sports. If you visualize yourself excelling at the sport or mentally rehearse a practice routine, it can positively affect your actual performance. Showing, once again, that when it comes to picking up a new skill, exposure is key.

The great news about the story is that, in addition to giving people a new way to approach learning, it’s an excuse for us to enjoy the things we love even more. If you enjoy listening to blues music so much that you decided to learn for yourself, it’s another reason to make it an even more significant part of your life.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

nostalgia, memories, '80s, '90s, Gen X, Boomers, Millennials

When memories are triggered, the whoosh of nostalgia hits hard.

Have you ever had a sight, sound, or smell trigger a strong memory? With the right prompts, waves of nostalgia can knock us off our feet, tapping into parts of our brain that take us right back to a specific time and place. Not only do we remember it, but for a fleeting moment, we can actually experience the feelings of being there.

A Reddit user posed a simple question that dredged up countless memories and experiences that many had long forgotten, asking, “What’s something you can bring up right now to unlock some childhood nostalgia for the rest of us?” The question evoked specific sensory experiences as well as memories of past pop culture staples that are now long gone, and it was a serious trip down nostalgia lane.


Here are 19 of the most popular responses:

1. Scented erasers

"An eraser that looks and smells like a very fake strawberry." — zazzlekdazzle

2. TV static

"Remember the warm, fuzzy static left on your tv screen after it was on for a while. A lot of you crazy kids WEAPONIZED the static to shock your siblings!" — JK_NC

3. Saturday morning cartoons

"Waking up super early on Saturday morning before the rest of the family to watch cartoons." — helltothenoyo

4. Freezy Pops

"Eating one of those plastic-wrapped ice pop things after a long day of playing outside in your backyard with your friends." — onyourleft___

vhs tapes, '80s, '90s, nostalgia, childhood memories How many of us have visceral memories of VHS tapes?Photo credit: Canva

5. VHS tapes

"When you'd watch a vhs and it would say 'and now your feature presentation.'" — Mickthemmouse

6. Everyone's favorite day at school

"Scholastic book fairs." — zazzlekdazzle

"The distinctive newspaper-y feel of those catalogues, the smell of them. Heaven. I would agonize over what books to get, lying on my living room floor, circling my options in different colored gel pens, narrowing it down to 2-4 from a dozen in an intense battle royale between slightly blurry one-line summaries. I know my mom's secret now. She would've bought me the whole damn catalogue. But she made me make my choices so that I really valued the books. I'd read them all immediately, reading all night if I had to, hiding in a tent under my covers with a flashlight I stole from the kitchen. I thought I was getting away with something. As an adult, I notice, now, that the flashlight never ran out of batteries." — IAlbatross

7. Everyone's favorite weekday TV show

"Watching 'The Price Is Right' when you were sick at home." — mayhemy11

summer vacation, kids, memories, swimming, childhood Summer vacation was the best. Photo credit: Canva

8. Summer vacation

"That feeling of limitless freedom on the first day of summer vacation. That feeling of dreaded anticipation on the last day of summer vacation." —_my_poor_brain_

9. The old video store

"Blockbuster." — justabll71

10. The worst best noise in the world

"The noise when picking up the phone when someone was surfing the web." — OhAce

11. The TV Guide channel

"The TV Guide channel. You had to sit through and watch as the channels slowly went by so we could see what was on. It blew getting distracted by the infomercial in the corner and then realizing you barely just missed what you were waiting for so had to wait for it to start all over." — GroundbreakingOil

light bright, lite bright, lite brite, 80s toys, gen x childhood Who didn't love a Lite Brite? Laurence "GreenReaper" Parry/Wikimedia Commons

12. The one and only Lite Brite!

"Light Bright [sic]. I barely remember it myself but you’d take a charcoal-black board and poke different colored pegs through it. You plug it in to the electrical outlet and all the pegs light up creating whatever shape you made in lights." — 90sTrapperKeeper

13. Parachute day in gym class

"You knew it was gonna be a good day when you walk into PE class and see that huge colorful parachute." — brunettemountainlion

14. A very specific part of school recess

"Ripping handfuls of grass at recess and putting them on your friend." — boo_boo_technician

15. Anything involving Mr. T

"In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem if no one else can help, and if you can find them....maybe you can hire The A-Team." — Azuras_Star8

Feeling Good About Who We Are | Mister Rogers' Neighborhood Full Episode www.youtube.com

16. Watching the best human being who's ever lived

"Watching 'Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.' There was something so special about the intro where he would sing Won't You Be My Neighbor while he changed his jacket and shoes. I loved every second of it, and would watch in utter content and fascination each time as if I'd never before seen him zip his cardigan up and back down to the right spot and change his shoes with the little toss of a shoe from one hand to the other." — Avendashar

17. The surefire way to fix any video game

"Somewhere between blowing on some cartridges and pressing the cartridge down and up in the NES to get it to play." — autovices

18. Reckless behavior on the swingset

"That feeling when you are going as high as you can go on the swings. Power? Freedom? Hard to describe." — zazzlekadazzle

19. When toy guns were a thing

"Cap guns. But smashing the entire roll of caps at once with a hammer." — SoulKahn90

The 80s and 90s were really a special time, right on the cusp of major technological breakthroughs, but before the internet and smartphones took over everyday life. Things were modern but simple. Of course, every generation can't help but crave "the way things used to be." Kids today will one day look back at the quaintness of TikTok, or they'll fondly remember a world before everything was AI-generated.

There's nothing wrong with taking a brief look back every once in a while and soaking in the nostalgia. Just remember to keep looking forward as well.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

Pets

Vet demonstrates 'squish the cat' method of safe cat handling in delightfully helpful video

There's a reason Dr. Burstyn's "How to pick up a cat" video has been viewed 23 million times.

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior

Handling a cat may seem like a delicate matter, but being delicate isn't actually the way to go.

If you've ever tried to make a cat do something it doesn't want to do, you've likely experienced the terror that a cat's wrath can invoke. Our cute, cuddly feline friends may be small, but the razor blades on their feet are no joke when they decide to utilize them. Even cats who love us can get spicy if we try to manhandle them, so we can imagine how things will go with cats who don't know us well. But sometimes it's necessary to handle a cat even if it's resistant to the idea.

This is where Vancouver veterinarian Dr. Uri Burstyn comes in. His "How to pick up a cat like a pro" video, in which he demonstrates a few ways of picking up and handling a cat, has been viewed over 23 million times since he shared it in 2019. Unlike many viral videos, it's not humorous and nothing outrageous happens, but the combo of Burstyn's calm demeanor and his repeated instructions to "squish that cat" has endeared him to the masses.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

The video truly is helpful; he shows the ways to pick up a cat that make them feel the most secure using his cats, one-year-old Claudia and 14-year-old Mr. Pirate. He explains that cats spook very easily and it's best to introduce yourself to them gently. Let them sniff your fingers, keeping your fingers curled in, and once they've sniffed you, you can often give them a light rub on the cheek or under the chin.

Picking them up is a different story. The reason many cats will claw or scratch you when you try to pick them up is because they feel unsupported or unsafe, so they'll scramble around trying to get some footing. Burstyn shows how he picks up Claudia with one hand under the chest and one hand under her abdomen. If he needs to carry her around, he squishes her into his body so she feels "nice and supported." He may even put a hand under her front paws.

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior Cats can be finicky about how they're held. Photo credit: Canva

Then came the best part of the video: "Squish That Cat"

"Now if we do have a cat who's trying to get away from us?" Burstyn said. "We always squish that cat. If you're trying to hold the cat down, whether it's to trim their nails or to give them a pill, or whether you just want to have a cat not run off for a moment, squish that cat. All you need to know about cat restraint is to squish that cat."

Burstyn explains that cats generally feel very secure being squished, even if they're really scared.

"Sometimes cats come to me in the clinic, and they're quite afraid," he said. "And you just gently squish them, and they'll sit there and kind of not hurt themselves, not hurt us. Just hang out and let us do our thing."

He demonstrated putting a towel over the cat, explaining, "If you have a towel handy, this is one of the best cat restraint tools around. You can just throw a towel on the catty and squish her with the towel, that way they won't get a claw into you if they are scrambling about a bit. Very safe and gentle, and generally cats are very, very happy to be squished like that."

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior Squish that cat. Photo credit: Canva

Dr. Burstyn also showed how to do a "football hold," tucking the cat under your arm with them facing backwards. "So this is kind of an emergency way if you really need to carry a cat somewhere in a hurry," he said. Scooping up Claudia, he explained, "Little head's under your arm, butt in your hand, and you squish her tight to your body. And with that little football carry, you can basically hold a cat very securely and very safely, because it's really hard for them to rake you with their hind legs."

If you're worried about over-squishing your cat, Dr. Burnstyn says don't. "You don't have to worry about hurting a cat," he said. "They're very, very tough little beasts. You know, just squishing them against your body's never going to do them any harm. In fact, they tend to feel more safe and secure when they're being held tightly."

Dr. Burnstyn also demonstrated how to pick up and set down a "shoulder cat" who insists on climbing onto people's shoulders and hanging out there, as Mr. Pirate does. It's highly entertaining, as Mr. Pirate is a big ol' chonky kitty.


@yozron

she loves my shoulders i guess #catcore #kittendad #kittensoftiktok #cat #fyp

People in the comments loved Dr. Burnstyn's demonstration, with several dubbing him the Bob Ross of veterinary medicine. Even people who don't have cats said they watched the whole video, and many loved Claudia and Mr. Pirate as well.

"This is just proof that cats are liquid."

"12/10 cat. Excellent squishability."

"So essentially, cats love hugs? That's the most wonderful thing i've heard all day."

"This cat is so well mannered and looks educated."

"Mr Pirate is an absolute unit."

"S q u i s h . T h a t . C a t ."

"I need 'Squish that cat' shirt.

"Dang, that actually helped with my female cat. She has been through at least two owners before me and had some bad expriences which obviously resulted in trust issues. She has now been with me for two years and it had gotten loads better, but she still did not want me to hold her. Normally I simply would have let her be, but for vet visits and such it was not an ideal situation. But then I saw this video and tried to squish the cat. And she loves it! She is turning into quite the snuggly bug. Thank you!"

So there you go. When all else fails, squish that cat and see what happens.

You can follow Dr. Burstyn on YouTube at Helpful Vancouver Vet.


millennial parenting, parenting, boomer parent, generational humor, gentle parenting, parenting humor, millennial humor

“I don’t even know my plan! Do you know your plan?!”

There are many modern ideas that make sense to those of us who came of age with them, but it's a really interesting exercise to view those same ideas from the perspective of older generations. It can make things seem pretty absurd. For example:

Gentle parenting has been the anxious Millennial antidote to the trauma caused by their Boomer parents' not-so-gentle approach to raising kids. This new wave of parents has become determined to not let history repeat itself, to usher in a kinder, more emotionally secure, more confident generation of humans.


What is gentle parenting?

Gentle parenting is an evidence-based approach in which, instead of being punitive toward their kids, parents build an empathetic, respectful relationship with them. In this approach, although parents create firm boundaries, they also emotionally validate their children as much as possible. This often runs in opposition to the more authoritative parenting style used by Baby Boomers.

mom, daughter, mom and daughter, mom kiss, family on bench A mom kissing her daughter's forehead. via Canva/Photos

A fun, tongue-in-cheek, and instantly viral video created by 37-year-old mom of two, Taylor Wolfe, shows how tough it can be for Millennials to bridge the generational parenting gap.

The clip, which racked up 5.8 million views in less than 24 hours, shows Taylor trying to teach her Boomer mother, Sandy Wolfe, the ins and outs of gentle parenting so she can use these more compassionate tactics with her grandkids.


@thedailytay

GENTLE HANDS. 🙃🫶🏻🤭❤️ #fyp #millennialsoftiktok #momsoftiktok #gentleparenting #parentsoftiktok #foryoupag #comedyvideo


Let’s just say, many found her failed attempt completely relatable, not to mention hilarious.

Sandy’s well-intentioned “Be careful!” to her granddaughter gets met with Taylor saying, “We don’t say ‘Be careful!’ anymore. Instead, say, ‘What’s your plan here?’”

“I don’t even know my plan! Do you know your plan?!” Sandy retorts.

Cut to: Sandy says “Stop. Don’t hit your sister.” Suddenly, Taylor pops up from behind a corner to instruct: “Don’t say, ‘Stop,’ say, ‘Gentle.’”

“‘Gentle’…what?” asks a confused Sandy.

“‘Gentle hands,’” quips Taylor, adding. “‘Gentle’ everything.”


mom, daughter, sheet music, parenting, family A mom and daughter lying on sheet music. via Canva/Photos

Boomers have a hard time learning gentle parenting

Sandy can’t even catch a break when she says, “I’m so proud of you,” because, as Taylor explains, “you’re not supposed to tell kids you’re proud of them anymore. That’s putting the focus on you.”

Then a classic comedy of errors ensues as Taylor advises Sandy to say “you should be so proud” and Sandy replies “I AM so proud!”

Viewers could help but laugh at their own perhaps overzealous attempts to bring gentle parenting into their life.

“I tried to gentle parent this morning but it turned into ‘OMG GET YOUR FORKING SHOES ON,”” one person wrote, while another added, “I always started with the Mary Poppins approach but sometimes you need to elevate to Judge Judy.”

Others felt like this perfectly depicted how gentle parenting sometimes misses the mark.

“I’m feeling anxious after observing gentle parenting,” one person wrote.

Another simply said, “I stand with grandma.”

This isn’t the first time Taylor and Sandy have given us a good chuckle comparing their different parenting styles. Here’s another funny video from August of 2023 where Taylor is flabbergasted to hear how her mother managed without Google:

Listen, gentle parenting is great for helping parents be more mindful and less reactive with their kids, which can do wonders for everyone. But there’s also something to be said for not getting so wound up in the minutia of every parent-child interaction, thinking anything and everything could be threatening to a child’s development. As with anything, balance—and a sense of humor—is always key.

Follow along on more of Taylor’s fun and relatable content on TikTok.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

free refills, soda machine, national parks, american conveniences, how europeans see america, europe, cultural differences
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Free soda refills, our National Parks system, and many more things Americans may not think of as luxuries.

It's easy to criticize culture and lifestyle in the USA, but overall, it's still one of the best places in the world to live. Take it from the Europeans, who find plenty to admire within our borders; especially when it comes to regular, daily life.

Even though European countries and the Unites States are roughly on the same level development-wise, there are still some stark differences in their ways of life. Americans may look to Europe and feel a bit jealous over their free healthcare systems and more laid-back approach to their professional lives. But Europeans who visit America are also in awe of some of the everyday things that Americans take for granted, which seem to be luxuries. A Reddit user asked Europeans to share the everyday American things that they believe are luxuries, and the question received nearly 13,000 responses.


Even if there are things we may envy about Europe, Europeans clearly admire many things about the American way of life.

Here are 16 of the best responses to the question: “Europeans of Reddit, what do Americans have every day that you see as a luxury?”

1. Disability access

"Disability access everywhere. I can go to any place -- theater, store, office, school, whatever -- with confidence that I'll be able to navigate fine in my wheelchair. They'll have ramps and/or elevators."

"Of all the things in this thread, the disability access is it IMO. The Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 was an absolute game changer, and European countries and the EU as a whole should be embarrassed for not having something like it."

free refills, soda machine, national parks, american conveniences, how europeans see america, europe, cultural differences America has strict mandates and requirements about accessibility in public spaces. Photo by Marek Lumi on Unsplash

2. Climate changes

"You can pretty much choose to live in any climate you like when you live in the USA and still be in the same country. You like 4 seasons: Move to the Northeast. You like the humid ocean climate - move to Seattle. You like dry warm weather - move to Los Angeles. You like deserts, move to Arizona. You like warm and humid weather - move to the Southeast."

"I work as an ecologist and the amount of biodiversity in California is insane. I'll do biological surveys a few hundred miles apart and see so many different plants and animals at each site. I've even done work at sites fairly close to each other (sub 50 miles apart) and will still find stark differences between sites. It's a magic state for wildlife biologists."

Famously, Americans travel outside their home country far less than most of the rest of the world. The extreme diversity of habitats and cultures there are to visit within in America is one big reason.

3. Big kitchens

"Big kitchens and big refrigerators/ freezers. Even in my student apartment, we had a pretty good-sized kitchen. I was dating a Czech girl and her parents came to visit. When they went to my apartment for dinner, the mom was just amazed at the size of my fridge. They were amused when I dumped the scraps in the sink and turned on the garbage disposal. They’d heard about it but had never seen one."

4. Square footage

"The massive houses, a special room just for your massive washer and dryer units, 2 car garage, basically you have tons of space."

"The size of your homes in places like Utah and Texas. There's a dedicated room for everything. Kids playroom that isn't the living room or the kid's bedroom, walk-in pantry room, a laundry room."

5. Free refills

"As an American, it's so easy to take this for granted. Similarly, getting free ice water in the US as well is something I often forget isn't exactly a thing in many other parts of the world."

free refills, soda machine, national parks, american conveniences, how europeans see america, europe, cultural differences Many places in Europe don't expect you to tip, but they also don't provide free refills on drinks. Photo by Jarden Bellamkonda on Unsplash

6. National Parks

"There’s just human development on virtually every inch of large parts of Europe. So even when there are parks, they’re not always as untouched as American parks. And the population density in large parts of Europe means you see a lot more people in the parks. America has national parks that are so untouched and massive that you can really be alone if you want to be."

There are less wide open spaces in Europe than in America, just based on land size alone. Europeans who visit or move to America are simply stunned by the vast scale of the United States' largest parks.

7. A/C

"Americans pump it all summer long."

About 90% of American households have some form of air conditioning compared to just 20% of European homes. This is, in part, due to summers in America getting quite a bit hotter.

8. Two peaceful neighbors (Mexico and Canada)

"Remember, the world's longest undefended border is between Canada and the United States. That says something about our relationship."

"We Europeans both love and hate each other in ways that Americans will never understand. But basically, not being French should be enough."

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10. Big schools

"My high school just had a pool, 3 gyms, an agricultural barn with stalls for students to keep the animals they were raising to show at the rodeo, a few labs, a theater, a full-size kitchen that was used for the culinary classes to share (not the cafeteria), 3 tennis courts, 2 soccer fields that were also used for football practice, and a football stadium with a Jumbotron. At the end of the year, the culinary classes would cook breakfast for the graduating class."

11. Free public bathrooms

"As an American who lived in Europe with little kids, this was frustrating. My wife found an app of free public restrooms in Europe."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

12. Mexican food

"Real Mexican food. We have Mexican restaurants in my home country, but the owners are usually not Mexican and it’s just not the same. Now, I’m living in Japan and it’s the same problem… Mexican food is so delicious."

13. Supermarkets

"Enormous supermarkets with abundant choice. I always feel like I'm in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory when I enter one. There's so much stuff!"

14. Big showers

"This stands out - I have two really great friends (an expat woman and her husband) that live in the UK, and when I went to stay at their first place together, their shower was like a 2-foot-wide plastic shield outside of the bathtub. I had to stay so close to the wall, so I didn't spray water all over the bathroom."

15. Money

"There’s a huge gap between the volume of physical/material stuff Americans count as normal and what Europeans consider normal. An American home might have three TVs versus one, six or seven rooms full of furniture instead of two or three, extra small appliances added all the time like air fryers and espresso machines, new PCs and phones every couple of years because of constant upgrade marketing … the American perception that there’s not enough money is partly down to the giant volume of things Americans regard as minimum equipment."

"In effect, when you account for wages and cost of living, luxuries (which usually have similar prices around the world) are proportionally cheaper for Americans. They make up less of their wage and, therefore, make less of a difference. Standard of living is completely different for a working-class American because they can afford luxuries people from working class in other countries can't."

16. 24-hour stores

"Stores being open for 24 hours."

Stores and restaurants that stay open all night do exist in Europe, but they're far more common in America.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.