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Couples share the 'weirdest' things they discovered after moving in with together

Moving in together changes everything, doesn't it?

moving in together, relationships, ask reddit
Photo credit: Canva

People listed everything from kitchen quirks to mind boggling sleep habits.

No relationship remains unchanged after moving in together. This is the chapter where you learn about your significant other’s truest self, in many ways—their habits, ticks, how they manage chores and money, their sleep patterns, their level of tidiness, their communication style, how they handle conflict, etc. The good, the bad, and yes, the ugly.

And while having these revelations can end a relationship, it’s also a milestone that helps endear our partners to us, and helps both partners connect on a deeper level. Some initial anxiety can lead to wholehearted commitment…with maybe even a few laughs along the way.

Recently, folks online decided to open up about their own personal discoveries they made about their other half after moving in together, and boy are these stories entertaining, not to mention relatable. Read along for a good chuckle, and to remind yourself that if you live with a sweetheart (and their peculiarities) you are not alone.

What's the weirdest thing you've discovered about your partner only after moving in together?
byu/SeasonBeneficial5871 inAskReddit

“He will occasionally (usually when I'm not around to be appalled) eat dry tortellini straight out of the bag when he's reading in bed. Dry. Tortellini.”

“We were fixing to watch a movie and he wanted popcorn. He said ‘too bad we don’t have any lettuce.’ I asked if he wanted a salad, he said ‘No, I want popcorn and lettuce.’ He said he never said anything at the movie theater because he always knows they never have lettuce. The man eats bites of lettuce and popcorn together. His whole family does.”

“She doesn't fully close cabinets or lids. She'll leave out a jar of anything (jelly, peanut butter, etc) and give the lid a quarter turn then call it a day.”

“In the middle of the night I will wake up to him having both of his arms straight in the air like a damn zombie. If I lay too close to him when he does this I get a surprise mammogram when he inevitably drops his arms down.”

“He set tons of alarms, but none actually wake him up.”

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“While I'm cooking, he insists on opening the goddamn oven MULTIPLE TIMES to check if it's ready. Makes me homicidal.”

“My partner secretly freaks out whenever I'm cooking and the stove is set any higher than medium-low. if i walk away for more than one second, he would turn it down and not say anything.”

“My boyfriend sleep talks, yells, sings, and laughs. I’ve woken up in a panic thinking someone was breaking in because he had yelled at the top of his lungs “WTF ARE YOU DOING HERE” just to look over seconds later and see him with his eyes closed and mouth wide open 💀”

“How every single cup of coffee is left 1/4 full around the apartment.”

“He sleeps like a vampire; sleeping on his back, with his arms straight by his sides or folded on his chest. Every. Single. Night. Some nights he doesn’t even change his position at all. I was seriously concerned during the first couple of nights we slept in the same bed.”

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“He completely undresses before going to the bathroom to poop.”

“Evidently there is a right way and a wrong way to fold towels.”

“I always thought that when movies or TV shows feature someone talking in their sleep, and they just spout random, silly nonsense, that it was mostly for comedic effect and wasn’t really a reflection of real life. Nope. My partner talks in his sleep and it’s always just absolute random, silly nonsense. The most recent one was, in a tone of dismay; ‘There’s ice cream all over the stairs…’ followed by a drawn out ‘broooooooo.’ He also just periodically giggles in his sleep, which, frankly, is one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen from another human.

“He wanted to put all the cutlery just straight into a drawer without any divides between knives, forks and spoons. Just... All in there in a mess.”

“My ex slept with his eyes slightly open. The first night I thought he died. The second night I almost performed an exorcism.”

“She is capable of reversing her sleep schedule as needed. I've had the same sleep schedule for decades and she just... makes up new ones when needed.”

“He wakes up every night to find something to eat from the fridge while half asleep.. And drops food all the way from the fridge back to bed. And sometimes leaves cutlery in the fridge.”

“She eats Oreos by taking a tall glass and filling it about three quarters full of the cookies then she fills the glass with milk. She then waits about 5-10 minutes, stirs it all into a slurry and eats it like soup.”

“She doesn’t talk in her sleep but she hums. Sometimes I can make out the tune. Last night it was Pink Pony Club.”

“Socks. All over the place.”

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“She rarely wears clothes, she's the naked neighbor, and now so am I.”

And then, sometimes it’s about being surprised by the sense of peace our partners bring us. This can be especially true for those that come from traumatic living situations. It can be just as much of an adjustment to simply have a drama-free home.

“How unbelievably, and almost uniquely, normal she is.She has no drama. No family issues. No trauma induced fetishes. She likes Superman and loves people for who they are. She’s mild mannered and kind. Loves animals. Like she has ZERO crazy. We’ve never raised our voices to one another in 9 years together.Coming from 30 years of chaotic relationships, it’s still a little unsettling to me sometimes. Like we’ve been married 7 years now and I still wait for the crazy to pop up, but there very well may just not be any. She’s the definition of a breath of fresh air. Every day.”

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Pop Culture

Mom leaves a 'heartbreaking' gift to flight passengers sitting next to her baby

"That's a mom trying so hard."

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

@callmebelly♬ BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

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Parenting

Woman who gave her baby up for adoption gets a wonderful surprise from the new family

"You know, you can't have too many people loving you, right?”

via CBS News/YouTube

A journal detailing Steven Schoebinger's young life.

At Upworthy, we love sharing the “best of humanity” with our audience, and this story out of Utah, originally reported by CBS News’ Steve Hartman, shows the power of love to break down barriers.

When Schauna Austin, 48, was 20 years old, she got pregnant and knew she wasn’t ready to raise a child, so she made the difficult decision to give the baby up for adoption. She gave birth to a son she named Riley and only had three days to spend with him before surrendering him to his new family.

So, she held him tight for 72 hours straight.

"It was perfect," Austin said about those three emotionally-charged days. "I knew I would have him for a short time, so I made every minute count of it. I didn't sleep for three days." It must have been tough for Austin to give up her son because the grieving process of surrender and adoption can be incredibly difficult.

Riley, renamed Steven, was given to Chris and Jennifer Schoebinger in a closed adoption, where Austin was not to be informed about the adoptive family. In Utah, closed adoptions are a rarity these days, with about 95% allowing some exchange of information between the birth and adoptive parents.

However, about a week later, the Schoebingers had a change of heart.

The Schoebingers decided Austin should be involved in Steven’s life. "It was like, 'OK, this is the way it should be. She was part of our family,'" Jennifer told CBS News. "You know, you can't have too many people loving you, right? Why couldn't he be both of ours?" Chris added.

Every year, the Schoebingers sent Austin pictures and bound journals showing Steven's journey in deep detail. They even had lists of all the new words he learned each year. The books were titled “The Life and Times of ‘Riley,’” paying homage to Steven’s original name.

The hope was that one day when the biological mother and son were ready, they could pick up where they left off. That moment came when Steven was seven years old and Austin taught him to fish.

The unique arrangement has been fantastic for both Austin and her biological son. "I was blessed beyond words," Austin said. "I kind of got the best of both worlds, for sure," Steven agreed. It may seem like relationships between children and those who gave them up for adoption would be complicated, but studies show that 84% of adoptees reported high levels of satisfaction when maintaining ongoing contact with their birth parents.

Steven is now 27 and in August 2022, he and his wife, Kayla, had their first child, a boy they named Riley. Austin is now a grandmother.

The remarkable story of Austin and the Schoebinger family proves that when we put walls between ourselves and others, we are often blocking everyone off from more love and support. "I think the lesson we learned is that sometimes we create barriers where barriers don't need to be. And when we pull down those barriers, we really find love on the other side," Chris said.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Parenting

Yet another school district shifts to 4-day week and parents are sounding off

So... when are we getting the matching 4-day work week?

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When talking with other parents I know, it's hard not to sound like a grumpy old man when we get around to discussing school schedules. "Am I the only one who feels like kids have so many days off? I never got that many days off when I was a kid! And I had to go work in the coal mine after, too!" I know what I sound like, but I just can't help it.

In Georgia, where I live, we have a shorter summer break than some other parts of the country. But my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, a week in September, two whole weeks at Christmas, a whole week off in February, and a weeklong spring break. They have asynchronous days (during which they complete assignments at home, which usually takes about 30 minutes) about once a month, and they have two or three half-day weeks throughout the year. Quite honestly, it feels like they're never in school for very long before they get another break, which makes it tough to get in a rhythm with work and career goals. Plus, we're constantly arranging day camps and other childcare options for all the time off. Actually, I just looked it up and I'm not losing my mind: American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries.

So it caught my attention in a major way when I read that Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently decided to enact a 4-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.


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The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes me want to break out in stress hives. But this 4-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? The pay is bad, for starters, but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools — starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in 4-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the 4-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the 4-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

4-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. I know, I know — "school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we need to work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a 4-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working 5-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not against screentime, but adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working 4 days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

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A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified 5-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art — you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

As a dad, I don't mind the idea of my busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. And I'm also very much in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a 4-day work week as the standard, the 4-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.


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Joy

'Girl, I get it': Opossum devours a whole tuxedo cake from Costco and people totally relate

The wildlife rescue's report was hilarious.

Photo credit: Nebraska Wildlife Rehab, Inc.

The Nebraska Wildlife Rehab center treated an opossum for overindulgence.

When you work at a wildlife rescue, you never know what kind of clientele you're going to get. But the folks at Nebraska Wildlife Rehab found themselves helping an adorable and extra-relatable opossum who devoured almost an entire Costco cake, all by herself, the week before Valentine's Day.

The opossum was caught red-handed by real estate agent Kim Doggett, who had set the Costco chocolate mousse tuxedo cake outside to stay cold when she ran out of room in her refrigerator. Her son was taking another dessert outside to chill as well when he told his mom there was the opossum on the patio sofa.

"I really thought he was messing with me," Doggett told CNN. "So I went over and I turned the light on, I opened the door, and I was like, ‘Oh my.' And then I was like, ‘Oh, it ate the Costco cake.’" Full-bellied, the opossum was lying there panting among the chocolate handprints she'd left behind.

After trying to shoo away the animal without success, Doggett began to worry that maybe the cake was poisonous to the opossum, so she called the American Humane Society. They picked up the indulger and transported her to Nebraska Wildlife Rehab.

Nebraska Wildlife Rehab, Inc.Photo credit: Nebraska Wildlife Rehab, Inc.

The rehab shared a photo of the opossum on Facebook with the message:

"Sometimes a sweet tooth just can’t wait until Valentine's Day! This Virginia opossum was admitted today after reportedly devouring an ENTIRE Costco chocolate cake. With some time in rehab (and a diet reset), this choco-holic should be stabilized enough to return to the wild but until then, she is definitely a little cranky about our strict 'zero chocolate' policy! Same, opossum.... same."

Nebraska Wildlife Rehab said it's actually a good thing she ate so much that she barely move, as it prompted the call to have her evaluated and treated for possible toxicosis.

Not your average intake notePhoto credit: Nebraska Wildlife Rehab, Inc.

People were happy to know she was going to be okay and also welcomed her to the club of cake lovers:

"I relate to this opossum on a spiritual level."

"We’ve all been there, girl."

"I have also begun to breath heavily after eating an entire cake by myself. Maybe not Costco but it definitely has happened more than once. I get it gurl. I get it."

"Sometimes a gal needs a little chocolate."

"STOP SHAMING HER. An entire Costco cake in one sitting is totally normal. Nothing to see here."

"Well, technically if she ate the whole cake at once, she only had one piece. That's my math and I'm sticking to it."

Anyone who's had Costco's tuxedo cake understands. It's…well, just look at it.

Laura Stastny, Executive Director of Nebraska Wildlife Rehab tells Upworthy that the opossum is is being "a model patient" for their staff as she continues to be treated for lead toxicity (not cake related). The staff are delighted that the opossum's story been so popular. "We thought it was funny and entirely relatable—who doesn't want to eat that Costco cake?" Stastny says.

The Doggett family "did everything right" once they discovered the opossum, making sure that she got the care she needed, Stasney explains. "We definitely recommend that people don't leave food unattended outside, but I don't think they could have predicted an opossum would have come out during the day, looking for food on their deck table!" she says.

"Opossums are peaceful and beneficial animals, and we hope this story helps people love and respect them as much as we do," she adds. "We're so happy this family is awaiting her return to their neighborhood."

People have become so enamored with the "Cake Bandit" that Nebraska Wildlife Rehab has created "Wanted: Cake Bandit" shirts that fans can buy to support their rehabilitation efforts. People can also donate to her care directly here.


t-shirt"Wanted: Cake Bandit" t-shirts help support Nebraska Wildlife Rehabdynamic.bonfireassets.com


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Man unexpectedly dies during brain scan. What scientists saw should give everyone comfort.

They may have uncovered the secrets of our final moments.

via Canva

A doctor is analyzing brain scans.

Death remains one of the greatest mysteries of life. It’s impossible to know what happens as a person passes and whether there’s anything afterward because no one has ever been able to report what happens from beyond the grave. Of course, if you ask those with a keen interest in the supernatural, they may say otherwise.

However, in 2021, researcher Dr. Raul Vicente and his colleagues at the University of Tartu, Estonia, became the first people ever to record the brainwaves of someone in the process of dying, and what they’ve come to realize should be very comforting to everyone. “We measured 900 seconds of brain activity around the time of death and set a specific focus to investigate what happened in the 30 seconds before and after the heart stopped beating,” Dr. Ajmal Zemmar, a neurosurgeon at the University of Louisville, US, who organized the study, told Frontiers.


The patient who died while having his brain waves measured was 87 years old and had epilepsy. While researchers were studying his brain to learn more about the condition, they had a heart attack and passed away. “Just before and after the heart stopped working, we saw changes in a specific band of neural oscillations, so-called gamma oscillations, but also in others such as delta, theta, alpha, and beta oscillations,” Zemmar said.

The different types of brain oscillations that occurred in the patient before and after the heart attack were associated with high cognitive functions, including dreaming, concentrating, memory retrieval, and memory flashbacks. Therefore, it’s possible that as the patient was dying, they had their life flash before their eyes. What an amazing and comforting experience right before leaving this mortal coil.

“Through generating oscillations involved in memory retrieval, the brain may be playing a last recall of important life events just before we die, similar to the ones reported in near-death experiences,” Zemmar speculated. “These findings challenge our understanding of when exactly life ends and generate important subsequent questions, such as those related to the timing of organ donation.”


How long are people conscious after they are technically dead?

Science has found that people can remain conscious up to 20 seconds after they are declared dead. Even after the heart and breathing have stopped, the cerebral cortex can hang on for a while without oxygen. So, some people may experience the moment when they hear themselves declared dead, but they aren’t able to move or react to the news. In cases where someone performs CPR on the deceased person, the blood pumped by the compressions can temporarily keep the brain alive as well.

Although the experience of death will probably always remain a mystery, we should take solace in the idea that, in many cases, it may not necessarily be a miserable experience but an ecstatic final burst of consciousness that welcomes us into the great beyond. “Something we may learn from this research is: although our loved ones have their eyes closed and are ready to leave us to rest, their brains may be replaying some of the nicest moments they experienced in their lives,” Zemmar concludes.

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