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Collagen and women’s health: A look at science-backed benefits

Discover how collagen can transform your health beyond skin deep.

Collagen and women’s health: A look at science-backed benefits

You've probably seen hundreds of advertisements for collagen supplements and beauty products, hailing their skin health benefits. However, the relationship between women’s health and collagen goes far beyond rejuvenating the skin.

Collagen is a protein. It’s one of the most abundant proteins in the body, providing structure, strength, and support to blood vessels, skin, bones, corneas, and connective tissues, such as tendons and cartilage. Therefore, collagen is critical in many body processes, including new cell growth, wound healing, blood clotting, and organ protection. It’s also essential to skin elasticity, strength, and structure.

As we age, collagen production slows, and collagen degradation increases. The process accelerates after menopause. Lifestyle changes—such as stopping smoking, eating collagen-rich foods, and using adequate sun protection—can slow collagen loss.

Join us as we explore the types and benefits of collagen, including skin health support and enhanced bone mineral density. We’ll also talk about how making dietary changes and incorporating collagen supplements into your routine can help you maintain healthy collagen levels and possibly improve your overall wellness.

What Is collagen?

Collagen is a protein consisting of amino acids, which are the building blocks of protein. As the most abundant protein in the human body, collagen accounts for approximately 30% of the body's total protein. Its structure comprises three amino acid chains, each consisting of 1,050 amino acids, tightly wound to form a triple helix that can withstand stress.

Its primary role is to provide structural support to connective tissues. Thanks to its rigidity and resistance to stretching, the collagen matrix is ideal for supporting bones, ligaments, skin, and tendons.

Collagen types

There are 28 types of collagen, each with a unique molecular structure. Types I, II, III, IV, and V are the most common collagens found throughout the body.

Type I

The most abundant protein form making up 90% of the body's collagen; type I collagen is essential for maintaining tissue integrity. Its fibers are densely packed to provide structure to bones, tendons, skin, and ligaments. Mutations in the genes for type I collagen synthesis cause osteogenesis imperfecta (brittle bone disease) and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which can negatively affect connective tissue, joint, and skin health.

Type II

Type II collagen, found in cartilage, is important in joint support. Mutations in type II collagen production can result in various forms of chondrodysplasia, which can cause early-onset osteoarthritis.

Type III

Found primarily in reticular fibers (connective tissue networks found in many organs), blood vessels, and muscles, type III collagen plays a role in the body’s inflammation response to lung injury, liver disease, hernia, and vascular disorders. Type III collagen mutations have been linked to aneurysms, poor circulation, and Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.

Type IV

Type IV collagen in some skin cells and layers helps signal several bodily functions. Mutations in this type of collagen production can cause Alport syndrome, a chronic kidney disease.

Type V

Collagen type V is crucial in connective tissue health and forming placenta cell membranes. It’s found in some skin cells and the corneas. Type V collagen mutations are associated with diseases of the connective tissues, including Ehlers-Danos syndrome.

How does your body make collagen?

Collagen synthesis occurs primarily in specialized cells known as fibroblasts. Procollagen, a precursor to collagen made from the amino acids proline and glycine, is secreted by the cells and processed in the endoplasmic reticulum and Golgi body (two cell organelles) to create amino acid peptide chains.

Once they exit the cell, the peptide chains separate to form tropocollagen. These tropocollagen molecules bond together to form collagen fibrils, and multiple collagen fibrils form collagen fibers. In addition to amino acids, collagen production requires nutrients, including iron, zinc, vitamin C, and silicon.

Potential benefits of collagen for women's health

Collagen is a protein that provides structural support and strength to tissues throughout the body. As such, it’s associated with wound healing and various other health benefits, including:

Improved skin elasticity

Collagen is the main component of skin. As collagen levels decrease with age, the skin loses some of its structure, firmness, and elasticity.

Several studies demonstrate that oral collagen supplements can improve skin health by increasing skin elasticity, hydration, and collagen density while reducing the appearance of wrinkles.

Enhanced joint health

Low estrogen levels are known to accelerate cartilage damage, which explains the increased incidence of osteoarthritis and decreased joint health after menopause.

Type II collagen is the main component of cartilage tissue and has potential as a treatment for osteoarthritis. Studies indicate that collagen peptide supplementation can support healthy joints by stimulating collagen tissue regeneration, reducing joint pain, and preventing bone loss, potentially delaying or preventing the onset of osteoarthritis.

Heart health support

Clinical studies indicate that hydrolyzed collagen supplements may help improve blood pressure. One study suggests a significant reduction in diastolic blood pressure in hypertensive patients taking collagen supplements daily for three months.

Early research demonstrates that collagen peptide supplementation can improve the ratio of high-density lipoprotein cholesterol (good cholesterol) and low-density lipoprotein cholesterol (bad cholesterol), which can help reduce the risk of developing atherosclerosis and other heart conditions.

Improved gut health

Among their many health benefits, collagen peptides have potential as prebiotics and can help regulate the composition of the gut microbiome. Furthermore, collagen peptide supplements can positively impact metabolism and gastrointestinal balance by influencing barrier function and immune responses.

Collagen peptides can help reduce the symptoms of metabolic disorders by supporting and maintaining the balance of gut microorganisms and stimulating anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties.

Increased bone mass

Another common women's health concern is osteoporosis. Bone density starts to decrease around the time of menopause due to lower levels of estrogen, increasing the risk of osteoporosis.

Human and animal studies suggest collagen peptides can increase bone mass, strength, and density. As such, collagen supplements may benefit osteoporosis patients.

Furthermore, diet-induced weight loss is associated with reduced bone mineral density and health, possibly mitigable with collagen supplementation.

Weight loss aid

High-protein diets can assist with weight loss and maintenance in medically overweight individuals, and collagen supplements can increase protein intake.

A study in high-fat diet-induced obese mice given fish collagen peptides found a reduction in many obesity signs, including abdominal fat, weight gain, and high blood glucose levels. These changes are attributed to the effect of collagen peptides on gut microorganisms.

Increased muscle mass

Sarcopenia, a reduction in muscle mass and muscle function due to age or inactivity, can occur when estrogen levels decline around menopause. This decrease in muscle mass can also increase cellulite.

A study on the impact of specific bioactive collagen peptides on cellulite morphology indicates that women between 24 and 50 years old who take collagen supplements every day for six months increase muscle mass and decrease cellulite.

Brain health support

The role of collagen in brain health is a relatively new area of research. It's theorized that collagen's amino acid profile could benefit the brain. For example, glycine is believed to have a calming effect on the brain, which may help promote sleep.

A pilot study reported that daily hydrolyzed collagen administration for four weeks improved cognitive function by changing brain structure.

Boosted hair and nail strength

The impact of collagen supplements on skin health has been extensively researched, but less is known about the link between collagen and hair and nails.

Although primarily comprised of keratin, some small studies indicate that a collagen supplement could help improve nail growth and strength, benefiting those with brittle nails. For example, an observational study reported daily collagen supplementation resulted in a 42% decrease in broken nail frequency and a 12% increase in nail growth. However, more research and larger-scale studies are needed to establish a definitive link between collagen supplements and nail strength.

The influence of collagen supplements on hair growth and health is also limited, but there is some supporting evidence. According to a 2021 study, taking collagen supplements daily for 16 weeks resulted in a 31% increase in the growth of new hair follicle cells and a significant increase in hair thickness in healthy women between 39 and 75 years old.

How to get more collagen

The body makes its own collagen; however, collagen production slows down with age (particularly after menopause), and existing collagen breaks down faster. Fortunately, there are ways to potentially boost collagen levels in the body, such as eating foods high in collagen—like pork skin and eggs—and collagen supplementation.

Eating collagen-rich foods

Contemporary diets often lack collagen, a key nutrient essential to overall health and various bodily processes. By incorporating high-protein, collagen-rich foods into your diet as part of a healthy lifestyle, you may be able to improve your skin health and bone mineral density and enjoy other benefits of collagen.

When consumed, collagen is broken down into amino acids in the stomach. These amino acids are then absorbed and distributed throughout the body where protein is needed. Some collagen-abundant, protein-rich foods include:

  • Tough cuts of meat with a high concentration of connective tissue (e.g., brisket and chuck steak)
  • Pork skin (also known as pork rinds)
  • Bone broth
  • Gelatin

Foods that contain the raw ingredients for collagen synthesis—such as peptides and free amino acids—are recommended as part of a balanced diet, such as:

  • Fish
  • Red meat
  • Poultry
  • Dairy
  • Eggs
  • Legumes
  • Soy

Collagen production also requires zinc and vitamin C. Good sources of zinc include nuts, seeds, shellfish, legumes, and whole grains; vitamin C can be found in leafy greens, bell peppers, citrus fruits, and berries.

Taking collagen supplements

Eating foods high in amino acids and collagen isn’t enough for some individuals to maintain healthy collagen levels. In such cases, taking collagen supplements can be beneficial. Some popular choices for collagen supplementation include collagen drinks and powders. Many consumers opt for the convenience of collagen capsules.

Collagen first appeared in skin care products, many of which claimed to improve skin health by boosting elasticity and moisture. However, collagen fibers are too large to penetrate the skin, and current research does not suggest that shorter chains of collagen—known as collagen peptides—can penetrate the deeper layers of the skin. That said, it is questionable whether these topical collagen products are as effective as other types of collagen supplements.

Oral collagen supplementation is more likely to result in effective absorption and utilization by the body. As such, collagen drinks, pills, and powders are becoming increasingly popular for those seeking collagen benefits. Most collagen supplements contain hydrolyzed collagen or collagen peptides, broken-down collagen types that are easier to absorb.

Sources of collagen in collagen supplements

Collagen peptides are smaller, simpler forms of collagen, easier for the body to absorb. As such, it is no surprise that most collagen supplements contain collagen peptides. Here are some of the most common sources of collagen peptides used in the production of collagen supplements:

Bovine collagen

Rich in glycine and proline, bovine collagen contains two types—type I and type III—and is believed to be good for joint, bone, and gut health.

Marine collagen

High in glycine and proline, marine collagen is typically derived from fish skin and contains type II collagen. It promotes bone, joint, and gut health and can boost skin hydration and elasticity. Marine collagen is more bioavailable than bovine collagen, which is absorbed more quickly and efficiently.

Plant collagen

Suitable for vegans and vegetarians, plant collagen is not technically collagen. Rather, it contains ingredients that support collagen production, such as vitamin C, zinc, copper, and amino acids.

Risks of taking collagen supplements

Like all supplements, a collagen supplement can have adverse effects and safety concerns.

Potential side effects of collagen supplements

Most individuals enjoy the benefits of collagen through oral collagen supplements without experiencing any ill effects. However, there are some potential side effects to be aware of when taking collagen supplements, including:

  • Nausea
  • Flatulence
  • Indigestion

Although collagen is generally considered safe, collagen supplements can contain additional ingredients that may cause adverse reactions, so it is wise to consult a healthcare professional before you take a collagen supplement.

Potential safety concerns of collagen supplements

Just because collagen supplements have minimal reported side effects does not mean they are completely safe. Some people may have an allergic reaction to the ingredients in collagen supplements. For example, individuals allergic to shellfish can experience anaphylaxis if they take marine collagen supplements.

Collagen supplementation also carries a slight risk of disease transmission. Collagen supplements formulated with porcine and bovine collagen carry a small risk of transmitting zoonotic illnesses like bovine spongiform encephalopathy (also known as “mad cow disease”).

Before taking collagen supplements, it is important to check the ingredients of your chosen collagen supplement and consult your doctor to minimize safety risks and potential drug interactions.

Conclusion

Collagen is the most abundant protein in the body and is the building block of bones, connective tissues, skin, and muscles. For decades, collagen peptides have been applauded for their potential to improve skin elasticity and overall skin health. However, the benefits of collagen are not limited to skin hydration and health. This key structural protein provides strength and support to many tissues throughout the body. As such, collagen's potential health benefits are not merely skin-deep.

Collagen benefits cannot be overstated. It can increase muscle mass and improve overall muscle health, strengthen blood vessels, support healthy joints and reduce joint pain, increase skin moisture, enhance bone health, strengthen hair and nails, and so much more.

However, collagen production slows, and existing collagen breaks down as we age—particularly after menopause. In addition to eating collagen-rich foods like bone broth, incorporating collagen peptide supplements into your routine can help you maintain healthy levels of this key nutrient.

Just remember to shop around for the best collagen supplement for your needs and check the ingredient labels for common allergens and any ingredients that conflict with your dietary restrictions or preferences. Also, be sure to consult your healthcare provider before taking collagen supplements, especially if you have medical conditions or are taking medications.

Planet

Enter this giveaway for a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

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True

Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're teaming up with Ocean Wise to give you the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner, catching waves with surf lessons, or grooving to a concert by the beach, your next date could be on us!

Here’s how to enter:

  • Go to ocean.org/date and complete the quick form for a chance to win - it’s as easy as that.
  • P.s. If you follow @oceanwise or donate after entering, you’ll get extra entries!

Here are the incredible dates:

1. Staycation + Surf Lesson

Hang ten on the ultimate ocean date! Whether you're beginners or seasoned surfers, a cozy stay by the ocean and surf lessons will have you riding the waves and making unforgettable memories together.


2. A Year of Netflix

Get cozy and explore the wonders of the ocean right from your couch! Whether you're diving into breathtaking documentaries or finally watching My Octopus Teacher, enjoy a full year of streaming on us.

3. BeachLife Festival Tickets

Soak up the sun and enjoy Lenny Kravitz, Sublime, Alanis Morissette, and more at BeachLife Festival May 2-4, 2025. Celebrate your love for music and sea at the LA’s Premier Beach Music Festival!

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Learn how to make a delicious meal with Matthew Kammerer who has earned a Michelin green star due to his commitment to sustainability in addition to two Michelin stars for his restaurant - Harbor House Inn.

5. Dinner for Two at Wrench and Rodent

Sustainable seafood isn’t just delicious, it’s an excellent way to combat overfishing. Enjoy dinner for two at the incredible Wrench and Rodent, courtesy of Chef Davin Waite in San Diego, California. Wow your date with both a delicious meal and the knowledge you’re supporting a healthy, thriving ocean!


Giveaway ends 2/11/25 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at ocean.org/date

via Pixabay

One of the most wonderful things about having a dog is how attached they become to their owners. I work from home and my Jack Russel terrier, Scout, lies next to me on his bed for most of the day. The only time he leaves my office is for a sip of water or to go outside and sun his belly on the porch.

That's why whenever I leave the house and can't take Scout with me, I wonder, "Does he miss me? Is he sad that he's alone?" Studies show that our dogs miss us the moment we leave the house and that feeling slowly intensifies until we are gone for about four hours and they have a "plateau of melancholy." That's why the longer you're away, the more excited your dog is when you return home.

The moment I pull up in my car Scout begins to howl like a wolf trying to contact someone who's miles away. It's like, "Dude, I'm 30 feet away. Give me a second to grab the groceries out of the trunk."

Researchers from the Universities of Pisa and Perugia, Italy have found that if you give your dog some affection before you leave the house they'll have less anxiety while you're away.

They conducted experiments with 10 dogs between the ages of one and 11 without attachment issues. The group was composed of seven mixed-breed dogs, one Labrador retriever, one Hovawart, and one Chihuahua.

Participants in the study walked their leashed dogs into a fenced area where they were greeted by a researcher who took their dog's heart rate. In the first test, after the owners walked their dogs into the area, they talked with a researcher for one minute then left without giving the dog any special attention.

In the second test, the dog owners petted the dog during their interaction with the researcher.

In both tests, the owners left the fenced area and hid far enough away so that the dog couldn't smell them.

After the owners left, the dogs looked for them for about three minutes on average. After the owners returned, the researchers measured the dogs' levels of the stress hormone cortisol as well as their heart rates.

The researchers found that whether the dogs were petted or not, their cortisol levels were unchanged. But their heart rate showed a marked decrease if the owners petted them before leaving. Researchers later watched videos of the dogs and found that the ones that were petted showed " behaviors indicative of calmness for a longer period while waiting for the owner's return."

Next time I'm ready to leave the house and Scout follows me to the front door after saying, "Sorry bud, you can't go with me on this trip," I'll kneel down and give him a little extra love and attention.

Maybe that way he won't howl like the house is on fire when I pull up in my car after a trip to the grocery store.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

Health

25-year-old U.S. mom is shocked after receiving an astronomical bill from baby's NICU stay

For starters, the hospital charged it cost $4,337 every time they moved the baby's room.

A woman looks at a massive medical bill.

Twenty-five-year-old Janice Hernandez, who goes by @JaniceHeartss on TikTok, has her hands and heart full after her baby, born in late October, was diagnosed with Prader-Willi syndrome (PWS). PWS is a rare genetic condition that leads to physical, mental, and behavioral problems. A key feature of Prader-Willi syndrome is a sense of always being hungry. It also results in poor muscle tone, distinct facial features, and a poor sucking reflex. It can also lead to behavioral problems down the line.

To make things worse for Hernandez, after her baby spent 7 weeks in the NICU, she received a bill in the mail, and it’s the cost of two to three houses in some parts of the United States. “I just got the bill for my daughter's NICU stay,” she said in a video with over 3.5 million views. "Do you guys wanna know how much it is? Do you wanna converse or have a conversation about the price? $738,360 freaking dollars. Almost a million dollars.”

That’s right, $738,360 freaking dollars.

@janiceheartss

Anyone actually pay their medical debt ooooorrrrrrrrr??? #nicumama #nicubaby #nicuwarrior

Hernandez then looked at the itemized bill and found she was charged astronomical amounts for everyday items and services. “For example, I noticed on the bill that there is a little tiny tube of Aquafor that they gave me that I actually still have $25. $25 for a tiny tube of Aquaphor that I thought the nurse was just giving me to be cute and give it for free. No, ma'am, they made sure to charge every single little thing,” Hernandez continued.

In a follow-up video, she shared that it cost $4,337 every time the staff switched her baby’s room. “Imagine if I didn't have insurance," she said according to Daily Mail, I'd have to pay all of this. 'Here in America, just to breathe costs money, and so, of course, when you step foot into a hospital, they start charging you automatically.”

How much money do Americans owe in medical debt?

Hernandez’s piece struck a chord with many Americans who have also received huge medical bills. A 2021 study found that Americans owe at least $220 billion in medical debt. Approximately 14 million people (6% of adults) owe at least $1,000, and 3 million (1% of adults) owe more than $10,000.

"Damn, how long was she in for? Our daughter was in the NICU for three weeks, and ours was $147k," Kristina asked in the comments. "My son died in the NICU after 4.5 months, and our bill was $6 million," Kaori added. "They charged me $2500 a night for the nursery that my baby never even went to. They also didn’t have a nursery," another user wrote.

Many people who live in developed countries where healthcare is free found the three-quarters-of-a-million-dollar bill astonishing. "In Saudi Arabia, all medical bills are covered by the government," one user wrote. "As a Canadian, I genuinely can not understand this," another added. "Genuine question from someone not located in the US: How on Earth do people pay these massive costs? What happens if you need medical care but have no insurance? Do you just not get treated?" Lola K asked.

media1.giphy.com

In another follow-up video, Hernandez shared that she got an update from her insurance company, and her daughter’s stay may not be fully covered. Insurance said it would pay $442,2918.75 of the $739,416.00 bill, leaving her owing $302,741.51. But she hopes that insurance will eventually kick in more. “They don't know if they're gonna be able to cover it yet,” Hernandez said. “It literally says pending or not payable. Charges that are either not covered or need more review by us.”

@janiceheartss

Replying to @Roman BIGGGG update! Guess it’s time for more waiting 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️#hospitalbill #insurance #nicu #hospital

Peter Dinklage on "Game of Thrones?

When it comes to actors doing accents across the pond, some Americans are known for their great British accents, such as Natalie Portman ("The Other Boleyn Girl"), Robert Downey, Jr. ("Sherlock Homes"), and Meryl Streep ("The Iron Lady").

Some have taken a lot of heat for their cartoonish or just plain weird-sounding British accents, Dick Van Dyke ("Mary Poppins"), Kevin Costner ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") and Keanu Reeves ("Bram Stoker's Dracula").

Some actors, such as Tom Hardy (“The Drop”) and Hugh Laurie (“House”), have American accents so good that people have no idea they are British.

Benedict Townsend, a London-based comedian and host of the “Scroll Deep” podcast, says there is one word that American actors playing characters with a British accent never get right. And no, it’s not the word “Schedule,” which British people pronounce the entire first 3 letters, and Americans boil down to 2. And it’s not “aluminum,” which British and American people seem to pronounce every stinking letter differently.

@benedicttown

The one word American actors aways get wrong when doing an English accent

What word do American actors always get wrong when they do British accents?

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American. One word that always trips them up. And once you notice it, you can't stop noticing it,” Townsend says. “You would see this lot in ‘Game of Thrones’ and the word that would always trip them up was ‘daughter.’”

Townsend adds that when British people say “daughter,” they pronounce it like the word “door” or “door-tah.” Meanwhile, Americans, even when they are putting on a British accent, say it like “dah-ter.”

“So top tip if you are an actor trying to do an English accent, daughter like a door. Like you're opening a door,” Townsend says.



What word do British actors always get wrong when doing American accents?

Some American commenters returned the favor by sharing the word that British actors never get right when using American accents: “Anything.”

"I can always tell a Brit playing an American by the word anything. An American would say en-ee-thing. Brits say it ena-thing,” Dreaming_of_Gaea wrote. "The dead giveaway for English people playing Americans: ‘Anything.’ Brits always say ‘EH-nuh-thin,’” marliemagill added.

"I can always tell an actor is English playing an American when they say ‘anything.’ English people always say it like ‘enny-thin,’” mkmason wrote.



What is the cot-caught merger?

One commenter noted that the problem goes back to the cot-caught merger, when Americans in the western US and Canadians began to merge different sounds into one. People on the East Coast and in Britain pronounce them as different sounds.

“Depending on where you live, you might be thinking one of two things right now: Of course, ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound exactly the same! or There’s no way that ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound the same!” Laura McGrath writes at DoYouReadMe. “As a result, although the different spellings remain, the vowel sounds in the words cot/caught, nod/gnawed, stock/stalk are identical for some English speakers and not for others.”

American actors owe Townsend a debt of gratitude for pointing out the one thing that even the best can’t seem to get right. He should also give the commenters a tip of the cap for sharing the big word that British people have trouble with when doing an American accent. Now, if we could just get through to Ewan McGregor and tell him that even though he is fantastic in so many films, his American accent still needs a lot of work.

This article originally appeared last year.

Unsplash

Conflict between parents and grandparents is hard to avoid. A lot of the time, it comes down to generational differences. When our parents were raising us, there weren't smartphones and there was no Disney+ or Netflix (well, at least not the streaming version). In general, kids had more freedom and less supervision in the 80s and 90s. Parenting styles like gentle parenting or conscious parenting weren't things people thought about as frequently. Again, there was no Instagram shoving it in your face over and over! In some cases, research and data gathered over time have shown us a better way, even though previous generations of parents were doing the best with the information they had.

So it's natural for grandparents to have, um, opinions about how their grandchildren are being raised at times. According to the AARP, most disagreements center on how children are disciplined, what they eat, and how much screen time they get. The sad thing is that when these conflicts become too common, or escalate too far, grandparents can start to miss out on time with their grandkids. There's got to be a way to avoid or mediate these conflicts before they get to that point.

One grandma just laid out her three simple rules for new grandparents who want better relationships with their kids and grandkids.

Giphy

Maria, who goes by MomMom Maria online, took to Instagram to offer the blunt advice for new or expecting grandmas — though they can definitely apply to any grandparent.

Rule number one. You are not the parent.

"That is crucial. You're not this child's parent," Maria says in a selfie-style video filmed in her car. "You're privileged to be a grandmother. You're not the mother."

It sounds obvious, but Maria's absolutely right about this one. The parents get to make the decisions on how their kids are raised, how they are disciplined, what they eat, what they can and can't watch on TV, and more. As a grandparent you're not the decision-maker and you're not the one who's ultimately responsible. You can have your own thoughts and opinions, but you don't really get a say. Harsh but true!

Rule number two: Respect the parents' boundaries.

"And guess what? You don't have to understand them," says Maria. "'I don't understand why she doesn't want us to kiss the baby!' You don't have to understand, respect their boundaries."

Conflict doesn't have to come from disagreements about parenting. Some parents butt heads with grandparents over their kids being spoiled and showered with gifts (and other junk that parents then have to find a place for in crowded houses). It can be tough for grandparents to understand or agree with a boundary like "Please don't buy them anything without asking me first," but Maria argues that grandparents must respect boundaries even if they don't understand or agree with them.

Number three, a corollary to rule number two: It's not about you.

"You're not a victim," Maria says. “You're not a pushover. You're just being respectful of their role as parents and realizing that your role is a grandmother. I love it."

Just because you're keeping critical thoughts and opinions and disagreements on how the children are being parented to yourself doesn't mean you're being weak. That's just being respectful of the parents' boundaries and decisions. It's a good thing that you're working to ensure a positive relationship with your children and grandchildren! That's an investment that will reap more and more dividends as the kids get older.

Maria's tips united people from across the aisle — both parents and grandparents agreed the guidelines could make for better relationships.

Maria's video struck a cord with a huge audience of over 300,000 viewers on Instagram. Most were fully on board with the 'new rules.'

"Grandmother to a 7-month-old and two-week-old. Absolutely agree. And I remember how it was when I was a young mother and my MIL made unsolicited comments," one fellow grandma chimed in.

"And remember things have changed since you were a mom: swaddling, no blankets, back sleeping, etc. Just nod and say ok!" offered another user.

Another user mentioned that she'd had a similar conversation with their therapist, who said: "grandparents are used to being *the* parents in the room. They often times don’t know how to or otherwise refuse to fall into a secondary role.” ... "And that hit hard," the user added. "I think a lot of these grandparents are not understanding that they don’t get to parent our kids. They need to step back and let us parent. It’s time for them to relax and step into that secondary role."

Giphy

But not everyone agreed with Maria's advice. Some grandparents, in particular, resented the fact that they should feel privileged just to be involved in a child's life at all, or they lamented not feeling connected to the family when their wisdom and experience wasn't being valued.

"I had one child. He grew up , got married, and is now a dad. I have one grandson," one person commented. "They live on the other side of the country. I keep my mouth shut about EVERYTHING. I text to get permission to call or be lucky enough to FT. I don’t send my grandson ANYTHING , not even so much as a cookie, unless I get their permission first. I struggle to have any conversation with him or his wife because I am not a part of their life. I keep my mouth shut, offer no opinions on anything . It is very hard to be so disconnected from them and it hurts but there is nothing I can do about."

Another commenter was upset by feeling like they knew better, but not being able to voice it:

"This is so hard to do as a GP. I want all organic. . Parents do not care. I want no sugar. They give lots of sugar . I want no screen time . Parents do lots of screen time . I want no cell phone scrolling. Parents scrolll constantly in front of baby. I’m trying so hard to not say anything."

Parents aren't "always right" when it comes to these conflicts, for the record. Ideally, there would be open and honest communication, and a relationship where grandparents' experience and wisdom was valued and taken into consideration, while also allowing space and boundaries for the parents to make the final decisions. Of course, communication is hard. It takes a lot of work and it requires multiple different parties to manage their emotions and egos. Learning to communicate about boundaries, rules, and differences in philosophy takes time — but Maria's three rules are a pretty good starting point for new grandparents who want to get off on the right foot.

Pets

The biggest fan of Kendrick Lamar's halftime show is a cockatoo, and he is rocking out

Even if you couldn't care less about this Lamar & Drake beef, this is so fun to watch.

NFL/Youtube, @banditthecockatoo/TikTok

Bandit is a Lamar fan through and through.

While there were certainly many folks at home bopping along to Kendrick Lamar’s epic halftime show, no one did it quite like an internet famous white cockatoo named Bandit—who seriously needs to be hired as one of Lamar’s back-up dancers post haste.

In the video below, we get to see the entire journey Bandit takes while listening to the performance— curiosity, intrigue, trying to find the beat, feather-raised excitement as he attempts his own dance moves, followed by full on hand banging, the works!

One thing is abundantly clear. In this infamous feud between Lamar and Drake, Bandit is definitely “Team Lamar.” Watch:

Of course, this spurred a lot of fun comments from viewers, especially folks referencing said feud.

“Even animals are feeling this diss track,” one person wrote, while another said “He’s feeling the power of KDot!” referencing one of Lamar’s earlier stage names.

Another commented, “I was waiting for him to yell MUSSSSSSTARRRRD!” which Lamar himself yelled in the song "TV Off" as a nod to Mustard, his co-producer, which also became a rather famous internet meme.

While Bandit had no actuarial awareness of the diss lyrics Lamar was spitting out, he, like many avians in the parrot family, was responding to the rhythm and beat of the music. Much about how and why these birds react to music remains a bit of a mystery, but they do seem to have their individual preferences. While Bandit clearly enjoys hip hop and rap, another might prefer classical music. One funny thing to note however—it’s been said that on the whole, parrots aren’t electronica fans. So no raves for them.

Of course, cockatoos and parrots can have eclectic tastes too! As we can see below, Bandit also has a soft spot for Billy Idol.

This charming bird has been a TikTok star for years now, entering his 300K followers with dance moves, food antics, and his own beef with “mean ol’ dad,” who has the audacity to touch his stuff. But Upworthy has encountered other cheeky cockatoos before, including one that maniacally chased its family around the house and a feathered anarchist who made headlines after uprooting anti-bird spikes.

All of these stories make sense, considering the cockatoos general penchant for attention seeking, which can lead to erratic and destructive behavior when ignored. But, as we can see, they are also incredibly intelligent, playful, and loyal to boot, making them excellent pets…as well as entertaining content creators, apparently. So bird parents, keep those video comin’.