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City council member cites Urban Dictionary in an official statement criticizing BLM

City council member cites Urban Dictionary in an official statement criticizing BLM
Photo by Gabe Pierce on Unsplash

Oh, Selah. It's been a long time, but it's clear that not much has changed.

My husband grew up in Selah, a rural town of 8,000 people scattered outside of Yakima, Washington. There was one black kid in his entire high school, who ended up leaving because they were so ostracized by the other kids. My husband was once called "white n-word" for standing up for a Mexican kid whose family were migrant workers in town. That was more than 20 years ago, but it's helpful background for this story to make sense.

There are people with diverse viewpoints even in the smallest of towns, of course, and Selah is no exception. According to the Yakima-Herald, a Black Lives Matter rally took place in the town over the weekend, attended by more than 150 people.


One attendee was a Yakima city council member, who encountered Selah city administrator, Don Wayan, at the rally. Wayman apparently made a comment equating BLM with communism, and allegedly implied that there would be no trouble at the rally because of the high percentage of Selah citizens having concealed carry permits. Reports of his statements prompted letters to the city and an official statement that Selah city council member Kevin Wickenhagen felt compelled to write in response.

You can read the whole statement here, and it's...well, it's a doozy. But I've pulled some highlights to address. (Please note, I'm copying the passages exactly as they are written, so any grammatical errors—because there are some—are not my mistyping.)

After thanking people for expressing themselves to the city, Wickenhagen wrote that he had "done some research" on Black Lives Matter, then wrote:

"It is my belief that some people participating in the march and supporting the march are without an understanding of the underlying principles of the Black Lives Matter movement."

Well that's not condescending or anything. What, pray tell, does he think people think they're supporting? We'll get to that momentarily.

"First, though, I'd like to address the accusation that Mr. Wayman was intending to intimidate the BLM protestors by mentioning many people in Selah have carry conceal permits. Everyone needs to understand, the rumors of violent outbreaks in rural areas and suburbs were quite prevalent leading up to the march. One doesn't have to look very far West to see what happens when people with unhealthy motives use a peaceful march as camouflage to instigate violence and vandalism. Selah police and Mr. Wayman would have been remis in their duty to protect the citizens and businesses had they not prepared for such a possibility."

Umm, I hate to break it to you, but the ANTIFA boogeymen that alt-right social feeds were foaming at the mouth about were never, ever, ever going to show up in "rural areas and suburbs," and especially not in Selah. Anyone in Selah who thought that was actually a possibility needs to get out of Selah more often. Good gracious.

And we're not even to the good part yet. Here we go:

"Regarding Mr. Wayman's statement about BLM being based on Neo-Marxism. Frankly, I had to do some research on Neo-Marxism. Explaining Neo-Marxism isn't an easy philosophy to explain, but I found this online in the Urban Dictionary when comparing Marxism to neo-Marxism. "Instead of the dichotomy being between wealthy and poor (ie Marxism), it is between successful and unsuccessful demographics. Neo-Marxists divide all demographics (white, black, asian, male, female, gay, straight, etc) and place them in a hierarchy of oppression as determined by how successful that demographic is." Using that statement as a basis, and reviewing BLM's own website, BLM policies fall well into Neo-Marxist philosophy. Whether or not being called a neo-Marxist is seen as a negative would all depend on your point of view."

Hoo boy. Urban Dictionary?! Really??

For those who are uninitiated, Urban Dictionary is a crowdsourced site for slang definitions, a large percentage of which are joke definitions. Seriously. Anyone can post a definition there. I could go on Urban Dictionary right now, type in "Selah" and write "hick town that wouldn't recognize a Marxist if Karl Marx himself slapped it in the face" and it would be put in as an entry.

I mean, look:

I just Googled "Neo-Marxism" and had to jump over several perfectly legitimate pages like Encyclopedia Britannica, Science Direct, and the Oxford dictionary before I got to the Urban Dictionary entry (and if you know anything about Neo-Marxist philosophy, it's easy to see that the Urban Dictionary definition is purposefully inflammatory).

And I'm not even getting into what else Urban Dictionary is commonly used for. Citing Urban Dictionary in an official statement is laughable and embarrassing, but unfortunately not surprising, all things considered.

"As to Mr. Wayman's opinion of the march sounding like Communist Indoctrination. BLM has a plan they call 'A Vision for Black Lives: Policy Demands for Black Power, Freedom and Justice,'. In that plan there are 6 core demands. The 4th core demand is, and I quote, 'Economic justice for all and a reconstruction of the economy to ensure our communities have collective ownership, not merely access.' That is a basic principle of communism. And again, if that is a negative or positive would all depend on your point of view."

Wait, is this 2020 or 1920? Did we just skip back a hundred years to the first Red Scare? Are we really still doing the whole "commies" thing? Do you really not understand why the Black community might want "collective ownership, not merely access" in our country's economy (which has been owned/run/dominated by wealthy white people for, like, ever—most of the time at the direct expense of Black people)?

Okay, one more paragraph to highlight:

"I have endeavored to pattern my view on race based on the words of Martin Luther King Jr. who dreamed his children wouldn't be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. But that attitude no longer seems to fit in with current political climate. We are told we must end racism, but the very group that calls for it, calls special attention to it. We are told we must see everyone the same, but 'all lives matter' is insensitive. The same groups that calls for the end of racism request special resources for minority programs. It is a time where stating you're not racist is immediately called into question and no amount of evidence seems to change minds, based on you're the race of the person saying it."

Aw, come on. It's like a full Bingo card of white, willful mischaracterization of race issues. Selective MLK quote? Check. Believing that talking about racism perpetuates racism? Check. All Lives Matter? Check. Affirmative Action is racist? Check. Grammatically jumbled "I'm not racist" complaint? Check.

Selah, I know you have some progressive-minded people there. But if this is what your leadership is saying in official public statements, you haven't come as far as I would have hoped since my husband's childhood.

And while it's easy to laugh at the ridiculousness of citing the Urban Dictionary, the Marxist/communist fearmongering, and the long-outdated double spaces between sentences, there are towns with leadership like this all over the U.S. That's frankly a little terrifying.

The world is moving on, folks. Even in small towns. Time to catch up.

Planet

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Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗
True

Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're bringing back our favorite giveaway with Ocean Wise. You have the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Our recommendation? Celebrate love for all your people this Valentine's Day! Treat your mom friends to a relaxing spa trip, take your best friend to an incredible concert, or enjoy a beach adventure with your sibling! Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner or enjoying a movie night in, your next date could be on us!

Here’s how to enter:


  • Go to upworthy.com/oceandate and complete the quick form for a chance to win - it’s as easy as that.
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Grab your favorite person and get some much-needed ocean time. Did you know research on “blue spaces” suggests that being near water is linked with better mental health and well-being, including feeling calmer and less stressed? We’ll treat you to a beach adventure like a surfing or sailing class, plus ocean-friendly bags from GOT Bag and blankets from Sand Cloud so your day by the water feels good for you and a little gentler on the ocean too.

Special thanks to our friends at GOT Bag. They make saving the ocean look stylish and fun!

3. Couch potato time

Love nights in as much as you love a date night out? We’ve got you. Have friends over for a movie night or make it a cozy night in with your favorite person. You’ll get a Disney+ and Hulu subscription so you can watch Nat Geo ocean content, plus a curated list of ocean-friendly documentaries and a movie-night basket of snacks. Easy, comfy, and you’ll probably come out of it loving the ocean even more.

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Date includes two (2) three-day GA tickets. Does not include accommodation, travel, or flights.

5. Chef it up (at home)

Stay in and cook something delicious with someone you love. We’ll hook you up with sustainable seafood ingredients and some additional goodies for a dinner for two, so you can eat well and feel good knowing your meal supports healthier oceans and more responsible fishing.

Giveaway ends 2/15/26 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at upworthy.com/oceandate

arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.


bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

Sustainability

A new school for girls in India stays cool in 120 degree desert heat without air conditioning

The award-winning structure is a huge step forward for sustainable design.

schools, india, desert, architecture, buildings, design, sustainable design, sustainable architecture, women, girls
Mike Rowe/Flickr & Canva Photos
Revolutionary school building stays cool even in 120 degree desert heat—with no air conditioning

Michael Daube, founder of the nonprofit CITTA, wanted to bring a school for girls to one of the most rural and conservative parts of India. In the region known as Rajasthan, the literacy rate for women was among the lowest in the country. There were few to no opportunities for girls to learn, and, for many, the only path in life was marriage.

There was just one problem with the plan: the rural desert community called Jaisalmer had almost no infrastructure to support a building that would meet the potential students' needs, and the nearest city was 40km away. Further complicating things, it would be challenging to build a low-tech outside venue for kids to learn in because of sweltering desert temperatures that routinely reach over 120 degrees Fahrenheit.


Luckily, architect Diana Kellogg was up to the challenge.

"I was so struck by Jaisalmer, the beauty of the place and how difficult it is to build in the climate," she told Stir World. "There was something very captivating about Jaisalmer and I also learned more about the situation of women and girls in that area. I was affirmed by the fact that education is better not just for individuals, but for the society as a whole. It changes the whole dynamic in societies."

She worked closely with the community to design the school, The Rajkumari Ratnavati Girls School, in a way that would empower women, give girls a safe place to learn, and stand up to the desert heat.

What's incredible is that the school building is able to stay relatively cool with no air conditioning even in the 120 degree heat using both ancient and local techniques:

  • Locally sourced sandstone gives the building its golden color and helps keep heat out of the interiors
  • Lining the inner walls with a material called lime plaster reduces humidity
  • A courtyard, which is customary in India, provides shade at many times throughout the day and can also be covered by a canopy
  • A jali wall—a grid-like structure—allows air to accelerate into the courtyard creating a breeze
  • High ceilings with window vents encourage hot air to escape
  • The elliptical shape of the building encourages air flow and allows high desert winds to flow around the structure

These techniques miraculously allow the indoor spaces to remain about 20-30 degrees cooler than the outside temperature.

- YouTube youtu.be

The school building is also completely solar and wind powered, while a water harvesting system helps recycle the school's graywater and harvest fresh rainwater.

Not only does the sustainable building look and feel like an extension of its desert surroundings, it uses building techniques, materials, and technology that the girls in the region are familiar with. It's all designed to help them feel safe and unencumbered in their learning.

There are plans to expand the school in the near future, adding more buildings that will support a women's cooperative, a marketplace, a library, museum, and an exhibition space that will serve the extremely remote and rural community.

- YouTube youtu.be

Kellogg and CITTA hope that the school can become a blueprint for more just like it around the world.

School is something many kids and families take for granted as a part of their communities, but there are plenty of areas like Jaisalmer where lack of infrastructure, poverty, and gender inequality keep kids from educational opportunities. In 2015, Global Citizen estimated about 60 million kids worldwide do not have access to a formal education. The Rajkumari Ratnavati Girls School is a wonder of modern architecture, but it also proves that it is possible through creative engineering to bring safe educational spaces to kids no matter where they live.

The building also won several architecture awards, including a prestigious recognition in the 2023 AIA Architecture Awards. It all helps get the word out.

"The comments that have come in are heart-warming. The girls find the space to be free and comfortable," Kellogg told Stir World. In a 2023 interview with CNN, she added that she's already seen a difference in the local girls who have attended school in the building she designed.

"[I've seen] the change in the girls, from being quite shy to being these bright lights that are devouring whatever kind of information you put in front of them."

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

Joy

Thomas Jefferson coined a hip and funny phrase for abrupt goodbyes that still holds up today

A great phrase for when you've just gotta leave without explanation.

thomas jefferson, goodbye, name is haines, woman waving, us history

Thomas Jefferson and a woman waving.

"Irish goodbye" is a term for when someone slips out of an event without telling anyone, avoiding the awkwardness of announcing their departure. (Though the Irish didn't necessarily invent the phenomenon.) But what do we call it when someone decides to turn tail and leave a situation immediately, without any explanation at all? These days, there doesn't seem to be a name for a sudden, unexpected exit. Back in the 1800s, however, there was one, courtesy of the third president, Thomas Jefferson.

The phrase: "My name is Haines."


This may sound a bit strange, but it all stems from an unusual interaction Jefferson had while in office with a member of the opposition party. According to Monticello.org, The Weekly Picayune originally published the story in New Orleans on February 17, 1840.

The story behind "My name is Haines"

In 1805, during his second term as president, Jefferson was riding near Monticello, his Virginia residence, when he struck up a conversation with another man on the road. Amusingly, the man had no idea who he was speaking to, and as a rank-and-file member of the Federalist Party, which opposed Jefferson's Democratic-Republican Party, he had plenty of harsh words for the president.

monticello, thomas jefferson, jefferson house, virginia, famous houses Thomas Jefferson's Monticello.via Martin Falbisoner/Wikimedia Commons

The Weekly Picayune wrote:

"Haines took particular pains to abuse Mr. Jefferson; called him all kinds of hard names, ran down every measure of his administration, poked the non-intercourse and embargo acts at him as most outrageous and ruinous, ridiculed his gun-boat system as preposterous and nonsensical, opposed his purchase of Louisiana as a wild scheme — in short, took up every leading feature of the politics of the day, and descanted upon them and their originator with the greatest bitterness."

Jefferson simply listened, neither in the mood to argue nor to reveal his identity. When the two arrived at Jefferson's home, the president invited the man inside for refreshments. At one point, the visitor asked the president for his name. Here is how it was reported in The Weekly Picayune:

"Jefferson," said the President, blandly.

"The [devil]! What, Thomas Jefferson?"

"Yes sir, Thomas Jefferson."

"President Thomas Jefferson?" continued the astonished Federalist.

"The same," rejoined Mr. Jefferson.

"Well, my name is Haines!" and putting spurs to his horse, he was out of hearing instantly.

jefferson memorial, tidal basin, washington d.c., historical monuments, american history The Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C.via Joe Ravi/Wikimedia Commons

Why did Haines ride off so quickly?

There are many reasons Haines may have decided to bail on the president so abruptly. He was likely embarrassed after bad-mouthing the president to his face and may not have wanted to risk any reprisal for his harsh words. And as someone who harbored deep ill will toward the president, he probably had no interest in entertaining his company. Regardless, "My name is Haines" became a popular phrase after appearing in The Weekly Picayune , and it was used whenever someone wanted to leave a situation suddenly and without explanation.

The phrase would be used until around the Civil War, but by the beginning of the 20th century, it, too, had said goodbye. It faded away rather than vanishing in an instant, as Mr. Haines famously did.

olympics, athletes, sports, athletics, heartwarming moments, kindness, fathers, dads, fathers and sons, heroes
Canva Photos & Parliament Speakers Limited/Wikimedia Commons

Sprinter Derek Redmond made Olympic history after injuring his hamstring during a semi-finals run in 1992.

Starting in the mid to late 1980s, Derek Redmond was one of Great Britain's top sprinters. One of his greatest accomplishments was helping to guide his team to a shocking victory over the United States at the 1991 World Championships. However, Olympic success eluded him due to injuries that forced him to pull out of the games in 1988.

But 1992 was going to be his year. The summer Olympics were being held in Barcelona and, despite all the surgeries and rehab he went through leading up to the events, Redmond was well-positioned to earn a medal for his country.


In the quarter-finals of the men's 400m sprint, his chosen event, Redmond actually posted a personal best time and easily won his heat. That meant he got to move on to the semi-finals. If he could post a similar time in that trial, he'd be up for medal contention in the finals.

olympics, athletes, sports, athletics, heartwarming moments, kindness, fathers, dads, fathers and sons, heroes The 1992 Olympics were held in Barcelona. Photo by Douglas Schneiders on Unsplash

Redmond's semi-final race got off to a fast start, but with about 250m left to go in the race, tragedy struck. Redmond was spotted on camera slowing up and clutching the back of his right hamstring. It had torn. He was unable to run, and collapsed to the ground in pain. His Olympic dream was over once again.

Redmond was a proud competitor, however, and managed to peel himself off the track. He began to hobble and limp toward the finish line, determined not to earn a "Did Not Finish" disqualification. And that's when an Olympic legend was born.

Redmond's father, Jim, was caught on live television storming the track. Training and security personnel tried to restrain him, but there was no stopping this dad. He made it to his son and gave Derek a shoulder to lean on as both men stumbled toward the finish. Again, security tried to remove Jim, but he waved them off.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

With his father's support, Derek Redmond broke down in a powerful display of emotion. The physical pain likely couldn't compare to the agony of watching his Olympic dream go up in smoke again. Still, the two men pressed on, and yet another Olympic official tried to intervene and was yet again waved off by the determined dad.

Eventually, the Redmonds were able to cross the finish line together to the roar of a standing ovation from the nearly sixty-five thousand spectators watching.

Unfortunately, Derek was still disqualified from the race as he had assistance in finishing. But that official Olympic record does not diminish his accomplishment, which continues to live on as one of the greatest Olympic moments of all time—even being officially recognized by the Olympics as such.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The moment was so powerful because it underscored the sacrifices made by both athletes and their parents. They train their whole lives for often just one opportunity to showcase their skills on the world stage. When it goes wrong, the results can be devastating. Win or lose, the parents are right there with them. Olympic fathers like Jim Redmond make immense sacrifices for their children to be able to chase their dreams, often spending a fortune on equipment and training, giving up career opportunities, family vacations, personal hobbies, friendships, and more to carve out enough time. Famously, gymnast Gabby Douglas spent two years living with a host family across the country from her parents so she could be closer to a top trainer. Other Olympic families spend $60-100,000 per year in training and equipment fees for their budding stars.

All the sacrifice and hope is on display in just this one short clip. The athletic displays at the Olympics are amazing to behold, but what we really fall in love with are the stories of persistence and perseverance, and there's none better than the story of the Redmonds.

Derek Redmond rehabbed relentlessly after his injury but ultimately had to give up running—though he did enjoy a run as a professional basketball player before retiring from athletics altogether. His father, Jim, passed away in 2022, ten years after being honored as a torchbearer for the 2012 Olympics.