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Parenting

Heartbroken mom uses painful moment to teach her daughter about the 'circles of friendship'

Honestly, this is a great idea for kids and adults alike.

screenshots of woman talking to camera behind text that reads, "And I had mom heartbreak."
@ktay.coaching/Instagram

Where was this when we were kids?

There comes a time in every person’s childhood when we learn the hard way who our close friends are…or aren’t. This may be revealed via a party invite that never comes, a BFF who suddenly becomes distant, or a sworn secret that gets spilled. While these lessons are necessary, it doesn't make them any less painful. And for parents watching their own kids go through it, it can be pretty devastating.

But one mom, Karen Tay, has a simple and effective strategy for helping kids navigate the tough terrain of friendships by teaching them the different levels of alliances early on. This idea was inspired by the “mom heartbreak” Tay felt when her five-year-old daughter told her about a friend that was “blowing hot and cold on her,” and requested that she arrange a play date for the two of them to get closer.

Tay decided to treat this not-so-great moment as a “learning opportunity.” And thus, the "circle of friendship” idea was born.

In a video posted to TikTok, Tay pulled out a sheet of paper with various circles drawn on top that she showed her daughter. First, there’s the inner circle—these are “people you can really trust your heart with.” The aforementioned friend probably does not belong here.

Next circle: “friends and collaborators who may come and go.” As Tay explained to her daughter, these are folks you get to interact with fairly frequently, but still need to have boundaries put in place. In other words, “guard your heart still, but play.”

Lastly, we have the outer circle, for those who have shown you that they don’t value friendship, and might need to be avoided. According to Tay, her daughter’s “friend” should be placed here, given how this friend made her daughter feel.

Tay took this lesson one step further by having her daughter define what each of these circles meant for her. For example, circle one is for friends who “play gently,” whereas circle three friends “change their behavior depending on who’s there.”

Tay concluded by saying that she hoped this technique would help her daughter better understand “the importance of trusting your gut, of really learning to be alone and be happy, what activities make you happy and even trying new friends, people you might not have considered before.” Honestly this technique seems to do just that, and is a tool that many of us could have used when we were younger.

Down in the comments, other parents applauded Tay, and shared their own personal struggles of helping kids through difficult friendship transitions. Clearly, this is a common dilemma.

“Oh my God. This is a conversation I've had with my daughter. I've not had such a circle drawing but this is even better.”

“Very very helpful. As a mom to a preteen middle schooler, who is learning the dynamics of navigating relationships, I would even go so far as to add this definition to inner circle friends ‘these are the people that you meet while you are truly just being your authentic self.’”

“This is really wonderful. I don’t think enough children or even adult adults take the time to really understand what’s going on around them.”

“So wise to do that circle theory with your child as we need to put our life in key positions for healthy relationships that bring a healthy heart and mind at all ages. The younger children learn about boundaries the better…you’re a kind mom to help her to learn how to decide herself to make healthy choices. ❤️”

If you’re interested in helping your own kid (or heck, even yourself) learn about the different circles of friendship, Tay actually has a free downloadable version here.

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Dad's heartfelt lunch message shows how simple, everyday acts can change lives

You can make a huge difference by using O Organics.

via Meg Sullivan (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

A volunteer hands out food in a food bank and Meg Sullivan shares her dad's kind gesture.

When we consider people who have had a positive impact on the world, we often think of those who have made grand gestures to improve the lives of others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, or Mahatma Gandhi. Unfortunately, that type of effort is out of reach for the average person.

However, O Organics would like to remind everyone that they can positively impact the world through small, consistent acts of kindness that add up over time. Much like how a small creek can create a valley over the years, we can change lives through small, consistent acts of kindness.

O Organics is dedicated to the well-being of all by nourishing people everywhere with delicious organic foods grown by producers who meet USDA-certified organic farming standards.

Upworthy's Instagram page recently posted a touching example of everyday kindness. Meg Sullivan shared how her father, Tom, peeled oranges for her lunch just about every day from kindergarten through high school. But on the final day of her senior year of high school, he sent his 17-year-old daughter unpeeled oranges with a touching note about how she’d have to start peeling them for herself.



“It’s Time Baby Girl,” he wrote on a wikiHow printout on how to peel an orange with a drawing of himself crying. For the father, this daily ritual was about more than just making lunch; it was about showing that he cared by going the extra mile. “I could have put money on her lunch account,” Tom told Today.com. “But it’s one of those little things I thought was important, that she knows somebody’s taking the time to take care of her.”

The small, daily gesture taught Megan an essential lesson in kindness.

The post reminded people how their fathers’ small acts of kindness meant so much to them. “My dad peeled my oranges until I graduated high school, too. Now, I peel my daughter’s oranges and will for the next 7 plus years,” Katie wrote in the comments. “Love this. My dad peeled mine, too. When I moved out, he gave me an orange peeler gadget,” Mary added.

o organics, albertson's giving backO Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list.via Albertson's

Did you know that every time you go to the supermarket, you can also change the world through small gestures? O Organics not only allows you to feed your family delicious and nutritious organic food, but each purchase also gives back to help people and communities facing food insecurity.

Through contributions from customers like you, O Organics donates up to 28 million meals annually. The company’s contribution is essential when, according to the USDA, 47.4 million Americans live in food-insecure households.

O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal,” Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products, said in a statement.

O Organics now offers over 1500 items, from dairy products such as eggs and milk to packaged meats and breakfast staples such as cereal bars, granola and oatmeal. You can also enjoy affordable organic produce with O Organics’ fresh salads and fruit.

Everybody wants to make the world a better place. With O Organics, you can feed your family healthy, organic food every time you go to the market while paying it forward by contributing to the company’s efforts to end food insecurity nationwide. That’s a small, daily gesture that can amount to incredible change.

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Education

Job recruiter is surprised when candidate put 671-day streak for Japanese Duolingo on his resume

Clever idea? Or just resume fluff?

@bllshfrv/Reddit, Wikipedia

Nearly two years of learning a language…something's had to have stuck.

In the age of algorithms and keywords and incredibly steep competition, people have to be more strategic and creative than ever to secure a good job. Especially when it comes to drafting a resume that stands out amongst hundreds of others.

Recently, one job recruiter was so impressed by one job seeker’s clever idea of listing their 671-day Duolingo streak—alongside a fluency in English and limited American Sign Language —under the "languages" section in their resume that he decided to share it online.

According to Newsweek, the job recruiter, named Bilal Ashrafov, was pleasantly surprised, and had even considered including something similar on his own resume, “but wasn't sure if it would come across as professional.”

“Seeing someone take that first step made me reflect on its relevance,” he said, noting that “a long-standing Duolingo streak can demonstrate dedication and continuous learning,” even if the popular app only requires a minute of practice a day.

After sharing the resume onto Reddit, others seemed to agree, and commended the potential employee for their innovative approach.

Someone sent a resume with their Duolingo streak under ‘Languages’
byu/bllshrfv induolingo

"Imagine explaining that in an interview—'I'm not just consistent, I'm Duolingo consistent!'" one viewer quipped.

Another commented, "If I was hiring, I would definitely interview this person."

Still another said, "It got noticed, didn't it? Sounds like not too bad of an idea."

Considering that there are a few ways folks can keep their Duolingo streak intact without truly getting proficient in a language, like continuing to purchase streak freezes, this idea might never take on as the new resume must-have. But, on a much broader scale, this story highlights the need to bring a bit of ourselves to our resumes. As the concept of portfolio careers, or a career that includes multiple income streams, rather than a single job title, becomes more and more mainstream, we’ve seen people find great success in listing what they uniquely bring to the table, professional or otherwise.

When it comes to adding resume items that pop, and offer a true reflection for who you really are, think about including:

Soft skills:

These are personal qualities that describe how you work and interact with others, such as conflict resolution or time management, and they are not only gaining importance across the workforce, but are highly transferable across different types of work.

Personal projects:

Whether you got paid for these isn’t paramount here. If you led a community initiative your passionate about, or even have a long-standing blog about something that interests you, this could be included.

Technical skills beyond the job description:

Do you have a proficiency in certain programs, like coding languages, data visualization, project management, etc? Even if a job doesn’t specifically ask for these skills, they could be helpful additions.

Creative or unique hobbies:

You never know what interesting conversations your oddball pastime might inspire, if anything else. So don’t be embarrassed if you’re a wiz a Photoshopping old-timey puppy portraits or engage in recreating Scandinavian folk tunes with GarageBand.

Community involvement:

This can be your volunteering roles, and mentorship programs you might have participated in, or even charities you have close ties to.

Academic achievements:

Include relevant published research papers or presentations, and awards or honors you received during your studies, or any significant contributions you might have made to a research project

These are just a few suggestions to get you started. Include a few, or perhaps your own impressive Duolingo streak, or something else. Just remember, sometimes it pays to think outside the box.

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Family

Mom has her 13-year-old son plan out practice dates to teach 'manners and respect'

She calls it a really great way to spend quality time together while teaching a valuable lesson.

@melissaannmarie/TikTok

Every month, Melissa and her son go on a practice "date" of his choosing.

Going on a date can be awkward. It’s just one of those things that, as an adult, you’re suddenly thrust into with next to no idea for what to expect, how to carry on a meaningful conversation, and, in some cases, how to not overspend. Imagine how much more enjoyable those first dating experiences could have been if you were taught the most basic ins and outs when you were younger.

It just so happens that mom and content creator Melissa Ann Marie has a pretty nifty idea for doing just that. Once a month, she has her 13-year-old son plot out a practice date for the two of them to go on, which she says is “really good practice for him in how he can take out future women on dates, especially as he’s getting closer to that age.”

While use of the word “date” in this situation can be understandably off-putting to some, and perhaps is instilling some gendered expectations, it’s also easy to see how, at its core, this is a practice in thoughtfulness, creativity, organization, and frugality. As Melissa explained in a TikTok video, her son is usually given $50 for this outing, and is expected to make all the plans—from securing tickets to arranging reservations—as well as adhere to basic etiquette like holding doors open and pulling out chairs.

“And along the way,” Melissa says, “I’m teaching him manners and respect, and it’s a really good way to just spend some time with my son while teaching him a really good, valuable life lesson.”

Below is a recent example of a practice date, in which Melissa’s son chose a cat café. Why? Because both he and his mom love cats, it was simple to plan, instantly gratifying, and because “it supports a good cause... the money’s going to the kittens and cats.” In other words, he aced it.

@melissaannmariee Come with me on a date with my boy 🥹 I heard about this idea from another teen/pre-teen boy mama and weve done this a handful of times now. We always have the best time with it! Basically you give them an allowance ($50) and they take you out on a date. The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future so they aren’t completely lost when the time comes. So you help them along the way with how to plan and execute a date and you teach them basic etiquette and manners. And while you are teaching them, you get quality time with them which is the best part. What did he learn today?! -to open the doors for his date -not to walk ahead of his date -pay attention to their preferences with things (places they would want to go too) -pull their chair at a dinner table -learned how to give a waiter a non-verbal cue & signal for the check -learned how to make a reservation online -learned how to pay for everything all on his own - to get creative and thoughtful with a date & not a lot of money to spend 👏🏼 He planned a really sweet one this time and I really i enjoyed teaching him these things along the way and getting some one on one time together. I can’t wait to do this again and see what he comes up with. Trying to teach my boy all of these things so he can be the best partner for someone someday 🤍 #boymom #boymomlife #parentsofteens #motherhood #sandiego #fyp #parentingtips #gentleman ♬ original sound - Melissa Ann Marie


And since admission was $25 each, Melissa’s son came perfectly within budget. Sure, they ended up getting tacos on the beach afterwards, which Melissa technically covered then had him pay for it, (again, or practice). But that in itself is a bit of a lesson in going with the flow, ya know?

Just putting this through a heteronormative lens, think of all the complaints and lamentations you’ve undoubtedly heard from women about their male partners who didn’t exactly excel at date planning. Or even worse, who put the onus on them to plan the whole thing, in addition to planning everything else. Imagine how this lack of consideration could be avoided simply by teaching young men what thoughtfulness really looks like. We regularly encourage parents to help young boys become respectful to women by teaching consent, speaking kindly, and calling out sexism, but this too could be a way to instill really important values and have fun in doing it.

Perhaps this is why Melissa’s post resonated with so many moms, many of whom either incorporated a similar strategy, or plan to do so in the future.

“I did Mom/son dates. My son is 23 now and his fiancé says he’s the sweetest guy she’s ever met,” one person wrote.

Another echoed, “I did this with my 3 sons when they were teenagers. Valuable lessons, and such good quality one on one time with them.”

As parents, we're all doing our best to raise genuinely good humans. That often means finding creative ways to introduce them to the adult world. And, who knows, in teaching these concepts we just might learn a thing or two in the process ourselves.

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Tears for Fears singer performs 'Mad World' with his daughter, and it's hauntingly gorgeous

Frankly, his daughter steals the show.

Tory Burch/YouTube

If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that we're living in a very, very mad world right now. Listening to the lyrics of the song "Mad World," it has perhaps never felt more fitting.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces

You mean my family members? The only people I've seen for weeks? Yep.

Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Umm, yeah. Going nowhere indeed. And it just gets more apropos:

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

Oof. Le sigh.

Tears for Fears front man Curt Smith and his daughter, Diva, performed the the song on YouTube, and it's gorgeous. Frankly, Diva is the one who steals the show, as it takes an immediately impressive turn when she pipes in with her perfect harmony.

Mad World performed by Curt Smith of Tears For Fearsyoutu.be

Oddly enough, the version they sing is actually a cover of a cover of an original Tears for Fears song. The original Tears for Fears version from 1982 had a quicker tempo and techno beat. It wasn't until the song was covered by Gary Jules and Michael Andrews for the 2001 movie Donnie Darko that the song became the haunting ballad we're most familiar with.

Just beautiful.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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Culture

New 'touch grass' app is a wild way to stop you and your friends from doomscrolling

It's a dose of reality that a lot of us can use.

via Rhys Kentish/LinkedIn

A Touch Grass app demo.

Spending too much time on social media, whether you’re doomscrolling on TikTok, stuck in a rabbit hole on X, or playing League of Legends so long you have no idea what day it is, can leave you severely out of touch with reality. The online world can easily create a warped, funhouse mirror version of life, so getting outside and a reset is essential for your mental health.

Around 2015, a popular insult popped up on X (then Twitter), where people told each other to “go outside and touch grass.” The term has since become ubiquitous in online culture as a way to tell someone to buzz off, get a life, and enjoy a reality check simultaneously. Urban Dictionary defines the term as, “Used when someone is doing something weird, stupid, or pointless. it means they need to come back to reality, they need to get some fresh air and get back in touch with how the real world works.”

What is the Touch Grass app?

Rhys Kentish, a senior software engineer at the London-based app design firm Brightec, has taken the advice to heart and created an app that requires you to touch grass before you even think about wasting 45 minutes scrolling through TikTok or an hour on Instagram reels. “I was sick and tired of my reflex in the morning being to reach for my phone and scroll for upwards of an hour,” Kentish told Fast Company. “It didn’t feel good, and I wasn’t getting anything out of it.”

The app’s function is pretty simple: you choose the apps you would like to block, and when you want to use them, you are prompted to walk outside, take a photo of your hand touching a patch of grass, and then upload it to the app. The on-board computer vision system will verify whether you have touched grass and, if so, unblock the apps. The app is a great way to remind people to get their priorities together before engulfing themselves in an online world fraught with problems. Who knows how many people will walk outside to touch grass only to realize it’s a beautiful day out, and they'd rather take their dog for a walk? The app allows people to pause and connect with the real world before entering algorithmically altered reality.

touch grass app, apple apps, screen timeSome screenshots from the Touch Grass app.via Apple App Store

Users who upgrade to premium features can block unlimited apps, view their screen time history, and gain deeper insights into their usage patterns. They will also be able to skip the touch grass request more often than those with a free version. Fifty percent of all skip purchase profits will be dedicated to UK rewilding projects.

Currently, the app is in prelaunch, and people can access the full features in mid-March. But that hasn’t stopped it from taking off. Kentish was shocked that the app began to go viral after posting about it on Hacker News. “I uploaded the app to hacker news with the caption, ‘i built an app to stop me doomscrolling by touching grass’. The start was slow, maybe 6 upvotes after an hour. I checked this before lunch. When I came back from lunch, my firebase real-time analytics were still up, and i saw 1500 visitors in the past 30 minutes… what,” he wrote on Linkedin.

Kentish’s brilliant app idea is going viral because as tech gets more addictive and ingrained into everyday activities, many are worrying about who’s really in charge: “Me or my phone?” A recent poll found that 36% of Americans believe they spend too much time on their smartphones daily—and 40% aim to reduce their smartphone use. However, 27% don't think they will be successful. Let’s hope that Kentish's app inspires more people to be mindful and take a minute to appreciate whether they really need more screen time or more sunshine.

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Man's seemingly obvious 'dishwasher hack' is blowing everyone's minds

One man’s observation about his dishwasher may change the way you do dishes forever.

via Mike McLoughlin/Twitter

Mike McLoughlan realized something very important about his dishwasher.

No one likes doing the dishes, but the tedious chore is made much easier when using a dishwasher. However, an alarming amount of people have reported that their dishwashers can actually make the job harder because they don't properly fit their dishes.

And that's where Twitter user Mike McLoughlin (@zuroph) comes in. McLoughlin made an observation about his dishwasher that would change the way he does dishes forever. For a decade, the Irishman thought that the bottom rack of his washer simply was too small for his large dinner plates. Then he made an amazing discovery:

The tweet went totally viral, and was shared over 14,000 times. He even tweeted a picture to show just how much he could fit in the dishwasher now that he knows the racks are adjustable:

The "hack" (is it still called a hack if the appliance is doing what it is supposed to be doing?) blew people's minds:

But other people were basically like, "Seriously, dude?"

While a group of others tried to one-up McLoughlin with stories of their own:


Okay, go on and check your own dishwasher. You know you want to.


This article first appeared seven years ago.

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