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Childless people over 50 are honestly reflecting on whether they made the right decision

Spoiler alert: They’re totally fine with it.

childless couples, kid-free life, regrets of seniors
via Pexels

Childless people over 50 discuss their decision.

People who decide not to have children are often unfairly judged by those who chose a different life path. People with children can be especially judgmental to women who’ve decided to opt out of motherhood.

“You will regret it!” is one of the most common phrases lobbed at those who choose to remain childless. Why do people think they’ll have such awful regrets? Because they often say they’ll wind up “lonely and sad” when they’re older.

They also say that life without children is without purpose and that when the childless get older they’ll have no one to take care of them. One of the most patronizing critiques thrown at childless women is that they will never “feel complete” unless they have a child.

However, a lot of these critiques say more about the person doling them out than the person who decides to remain childless.

Maybe, just maybe, their life is fulfilling enough without having to reproduce. Maybe, just maybe, they can have a life full of purpose without caring for any offspring.

Maybe the question should be: What’s lacking in your life that you need a child to feel complete?

Studies show that some people regret being childless when they get older, but they’re in the minority.

An Australian researcher found that a quarter of child-free women came to regret the decision once they were past child-bearing age and began contemplating old age alone.

People revealed the reasons they’ve decided to be childless in an article by The Upshot. The top answers were the desire for more leisure time, the need to find a partner and the inability to afford child care. A big reason that many women decide not to have children is that motherhood feels like more of a choice these days, instead of a foregone conclusion as it was in previous decades.

Reddit user u/ADreamyNightOwl asked a “serious” question about being childless to the AskReddit subforum and received a lot of honest answers. They asked “People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not?”

The people who responded are overwhelmingly happy with their decision not to have children.

A surprising number said they felt positive about their decision because they thought they’d be a lousy parent. Others said they were happy to have been able to enjoy more free time than their friends and family members who had kids.

Here are some of the best responses to the Askreddit question.

1. Never had any desire.

"I explain it to people like this - you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way.

"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own." — IBeTrippin

2. No desire. No regrets.

"Nope. It was never something I wanted. No regrets." — BornaCrone

3. Mixed feelings.

"I have mixed feelings. I don't care much for children and I think it would have been disastrous for us to have them. I was also able to retire at 52. Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened with kids. So yeah, absolutely the right decision.
But I love my family and I do wonder what it would be like to have my own, to teach my child the things I know and not to be without someone who cares about me at the time of my death.

"But again, absolutely the right decision and at 55 I'm very happy NOT to have them. This is reinforced every time I'm exposed to other people's kids." — ProfessorOzone

4. They never visit.

"My wife worked at a nursing home for years. Imagine seeing for years that over 95% of old people never have family visit. Till they die and people want a piece of the pie. This when I learned that the whole 'well who is gonna visit you or take care of you when you're older' line is complete bullshit. We decided to not have kids ever after that. Made great friends and saw the world. No regrets." — joevilla1369

5. It wasn't an option.

"I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least. So yeah... I have regrets." — MaerakiStudioMe

6. Grandkids are cooler.

"No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he's 10 years older). I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn't even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we've been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!" — Zublor

7. I'd be a bad parent.


"Not one bit. I have never believed that I would be a good parent. I have a short temper, and while I don't think I would have been physically abusive, my words and tone of voice would be harsh in a very similar way to my own father. I wasn't happy growing up with that kind parent and I wouldn't want to subject any child to that kind of parenting." — Videoman7189

8. I'd rather be the cool aunt and uncle.

"No and I found a partner who feels the same. We are the cool aunt and uncle." — laudinum

9. Loneliness is underrated.


"54 yrs.old. I've lived the past 30 years alone. Presently my dog and I are chillin' in a nice hotel on a spur of the moment vacation. I'd maybe be a grandfather by now?! I can't imagine what it would be like to have family. I picture a life lived more "normally" sometimes. All sunshine and roses, white picket fence, etc. but I realize real life isn't like that. No I don't regret being childfree or wifefree for that matter. My life can be boring at times but then I look back at all the drama that comes with relationships and think I've dodged a bullet. I spent 20 years trying to find a wife to start a family. Then I realized the clock had run out, so fuck it, all the money I'd saved for my future family would be spent on myself. Hmmmmm...what do I want to buy myself for Christmas?" — Hermits_Truth

10. No diaper changes and no regrets.

"Nope. I never had the urge to change diapers or lose sleep, free time and most of my earnings. Other people's kids are great. Mostly because they are other people's. When people ask 'Who will take care of you when you're old' I tell them that when I'm 75 I will adopt a 40-year-old." — fwubglubbel

11. Zero desire.

"I’m 55 (F) and never wanted children. I just don’t much like them, and 20+ years of motherhood sounded (and still sounds) like a prison sentence. Maternal af when it comes to cats and dogs, but small humans? No chance.

"And I’m very happy to be childless. Cannot imagine my life any other way." — GrowlKitty

12. D.I.N.K.

"Dual income no kids = great lifestyle!" — EggOntheRun

13. Some regrets

"Over 50 and child free. My only regret is that my wife would have been a great mother, and sometimes I feel like I deprived her of that, even though we both agreed we didn’t want kids. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed her into that decision. She works with the elderly every day and sees a lot of lonely folks so it gets to her sometimes. I was always afraid I’d screw up the parenting thing, so I was never really interested in the idea. I’m a loner by nature though." — Johnny-Virgil


This article originally appeared on 02.08.22

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Internet

A nail salon made an ad so funny that people are taking road trips just for a manicure

Nailed it.

Representative photos by Wonderlane|Flickr and Aris Leoven|Canva

This Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there and, without word of mouth recommendations from people you trust, it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. Thanks to social media, though, many businesses have pages where they can advertise their services without having to spend a lot of money on traditional marketing practices like television, billboards, and radio. Doing their marketing using pictures and videos of their amazing work can help keep a steady flow of customers coming—but one Canadian nail salon is going with a slightly different approach.

Henry Pro Nails in Toronto, Canada is leaving the Internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video takes the beginnings of several viral video clips but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in completing the viral moment in hilarious different ways.

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns, flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry seamlessly appears laid out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "Come to my nail salon. Your nails will look beautiful."

nails, nail salon, manicure, henry's pro nails, adsRihanna Nails GIFGiphy

In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative and people in the comments can't get enough. Some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now Internet famous top nail artist in Canada. This isn't Henry's first rodeo making creative ads, but this is one is without a doubt his most popular—and effective.

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a road trip! My bf and I are legit getting ours and its only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately made all other places disappointing and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.

To keep up with demand, in late October 2024 Henry's announced another location was coming soon in Vaughan, Ontario. Though there's no word on when the new "more spacious and professional facility" is opening just yet, customers can keep an eye out for Henry's next ad on social media.

It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but great service is what gets them to come back. If you're ever in Toronto (or Vaughan!) and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Love Stories

WW2 lovers were separated after a blind date cut short, so she drew a map of where to find her

Their unbelievable love story was recorded in hundreds of love letters found by their grandson.

@crewdoyle/TikTok

Where can we watch this movie?

There’s just something about romance stories from WWII that feel like they all belong on the big screen. Looking back on a time of so much urgency and impermanence, those fleeting moments of connection seem even more poignant. It’s truly a testament to the power of love itself, and its ability to withstand even the most unimaginable strife and conflict.

Many of us might carry the love stories of our own parents and grandparents from his era, but for those that don’t, read on. And honestly, even those that do will want to hear this touching tale.

In a truly tear-jerking series posted to TikTok, Drew Coyle shared how he discovered hundreds of heartfelt letters sent by his grandmother Helen to his grandfather Bill, which chronicle their epic love story—from a brief, yet potent blind date, to a promise that took years to fulfill.

@crewdoyle The start of a WW2 love story - Mañana: A Pacific Romance
♬ Last Hope (Over Slowed + Reverb) - Steve Ralph

Bill and Helen first met on December 7, 1944 while both were stationed in the Phillipines— Bill, a traveling sailor, and Hellen, volunteering as a Red Cross "doughnut girl.” That night, enough sparks flew on the dance floor that they made a promise to see each other the next morning. Or as they called it, their “mañana.”


ww2 stories, ww2 romance, ww2 romance novel, ww2 history, ww2 letters, love letters, love stories, romanceA photo of Helen and Bill in their uniformsImages provided by Drew Coyle

But keeping that mañana promise, as it turned out, wouldn’t be so easy. Helen was unexpectedly relocated to Guam the next day, where she stayed in a hut without a telephone, and any messages left at the front desk didn’t always get transferred to their recipient. Still, the young woman was determined to maintain their connection through the letters.

Below are some of the deeply poetic words she wrote in letter #75, which would end up being particularly pivotal in their love story.

@crewdoyle A lonely girl draws him a map 😭
♬ Peaceful Sincerity - Pemancing Biru


“We’re in this together, my dearest…we’re moving forward, hand in hand…haven’t we already proven to our own satisfaction that we walk in the same path at the same speed with the same reactions? And haven’t we already found that there’s a kiss at the end of the walk?

I’m more content than I’ve been in ages…I feel as if I were on the brink of one of life’s greatest adventures, and it is in my nature to be eager when something new and strange and powerful presents itself.

‘Wishing will make it so’ has become my theme song ever since yesterday when I learned it was yours with two of us wishing it will be so. I am reminded of the words of a man I once knew. He insisted that two people were stronger than anything, stronger than one, or three, or five people. Perhaps he was right, let's make it so and prove the point.


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Helen assured Bill that though they were apart, that he “needn’t worry” about any dancing partners stealing her away on the new island, because “they’re always you,” and urged him to “not give up” on finding her.

She even drew him a map detailing where she was located. It just so happened to include a nearby chapel.

ww2 stories, ww2 romance, ww2 romance novel, ww2 history, ww2 letters, love letters, love stories, romanceThe map provided by Helen to Bill@crewdoyle/TikTok

To think, without that letter, their story might have been cut short. But clearly it worked, because here we have their grandson retelling the story 80 years later. As Coyle wrote on his website, “Helen's innocent act to initiate correspondence caused a ripple effect that would change not only their lives, but lead to me.”

ww2 stories, ww2 romance, ww2 romance novel, ww2 history, ww2 letters, love letters, love stories, romanceHelen and Bill, happy and and content, and oh so in love. Image from Drew Coyle

Passionate to spread their story even further, Coyle created a coffee table book, aptly named Mañana: A Pacific Romance, which you can pre-order here.

In a time of online dating, text messaging, and seemingly very little time to get beyond a “love you honey,” this feels especially heartwarming. What would happen if we engaged in just a portion of thoughtful loving expressions as Helen and Bill had? Would we too feel as though our partnerships were fated? Is this type of romance purely a product of the time period, and something we’d never be able to replicate in a world of modern convenience? These are all ponderous questions without answer, but one thing feels crystal clear: love is indeed a great adventure, if we choose to answer the call.

Follow Drew Coyle on TikTok to hear him read even more of those wonderful letters.

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Animals & Wildlife

Why have we domesticated some animals but not others? It comes down to four F's.

An entertaining video explains why we can't ride zebras or breed "war bears."

Photo credit: Canva

Horses were domesticated over 5,000 years ago. Zebras, never.

Humans have domesticated several kinds of animals over the millennia, from trusty horses and mules to livestock for milk and meat to our favorite furry companions. But why those specific animals and not others? What is it that led us to those particular choices? Why can we ride horses but not zebras? Why don't we purposefully breed "war bears" to fight for us?

That last question comes straight from the always-interesting and often-hilarious CGP Grey, whose YouTube videos explore all kinds of things we wonder about but don't necessarily take the time to research. In the video "Why Some Animals Can't Be Domesticated," Grey explains the four main elements that make an animal a good candidate for domestication, which excludes bears (and many others) from the list.

Grey alliterated the four elements to make them easier to remember: Friendly, Feedable, Fecund, and Family-Friendly. Let's dig into what those mean.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Domestication requirement #1: Friendly

This one is fairly self-explanatory, but basically an animal has to not post an inherent, immediate threat. We have to be able to catch them if we're going to domesticate them, so that eliminates all of the "carnivores whose day job is murder" as Grey puts it, as well as the large, nervous prey animals that are too afraid of us to let us get anywhere near them.

wild animals, domesticated animals, gazelleGood luck trying to catch a gazelle.Photo credit: Canva

Domestication requirement #2: Feedable

Every animals is feedable, of course, but that doesn't mean it's easy or cheap to feed them, especially in large numbers. This category pretty much eliminates pure carnivores and some omnivores, leaving mostly herbivores (and some unpicky omnivores) that are easy and cheap to feed. And that aren't dangerous (see #1).

wild animals, domesticated animals, chickens, chicken feedChickens will eat just about anything.Photo credit: Canva

Domestication requirement #3: Fecund

This requirement is all about breeding and babies. Some animals are extremely slow to breed, like pandas and elephants, making them undesirable candidates for domestication. Animals that have mate frequently and have relatively short gestation times and/or large litters are more suited to domesticated life. They also need to grow up quickly, which also takes elephants out of the pool.

However, as Grey points out, humans can still tame other animals like elephants. But taming is not the same as domesticating. The basic rule is: If it's on a farm, it's domesticated. If it's in a circus, it's tamed.

Domestication requirement #4: Family-friendly

This is where the horses and zebras question comes in. Horses were domesticated in Eurasia, but if humans started in Africa, why weren't zebras domesticated first? Grey explains that while horses tend to live in hierarchical herds, zebra are more independent with no family structure. Humans can capture the lead male horse and get the rest of the herd to fall in line. Zebra herds are more of a free-for-all and they're kind of jerks to even one another.

horses, zebras, domesticated animals, wild animalsThere's actually a big difference between horses and zebras besides just the stripes.Photo credit: Canva

Barnyard animals have inherent family structures that humans have figured out how to fit into. These animals learn to see the humans who own them as a lead cow or top chicken or whatever.

Way back in the hunter-gatherer age, when humans were just figuring out animal domestication, animals had to have all four of these requirements. Today, we have the ability and technology to domesticate more animals if we want to, but we also have less of a need to. Some breeds of foxes have recently been domesticated, bred to be friendly with humans. How fun would it be to have a pet fox?

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Technically, a lot more animals could be domesticated if people really wanted to put in multiple human lifetimes of time and effort, but why?

You can follow CGP Grey on YouTube for more fun and informative videos.

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Grandma shares her must-have device for safe traveling, especially for folks with kids

The grandmother and pediatrician said, “I don’t go to any Airbnb or hotel without it."

Photo credit: Canva

A pretty easy and inexpensive travel tips that could save your life

There have been numerous reports of people dying from carbon monoxide poisoning while on vacation, including the teenage son of former New York Yankees outfielder Brett Gardner, whose carbon monoxide test showed a saturation level of 64%, well over what's considered lethal.

The main culprit behind these tragedies is a lack of regulation. Airbnb announced back in 2014—a few months after the short-term rental company faced one of its first reported carbon monoxide-related deaths—that it would require hosts to confirm each of their listings had carbon monoxide detectors installed. However, NBC News reported in 2023 that no such mandate has actually been instilled. Hotels don’t seem to fare much better, since not all require that carbon monoxide detectors are installed.

So, on top of the stresses of airplane travel, people also have this to worry about…which can obviously drain the joy of travel altogether.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

But one grandma (and a pediatrician, to boot) has a simple, yet powerful tip for taking safety into your own hands…literally.

In a video posted to her @Ask.Bubbie TikTok account, Florence Rosen explained why she swears by using a portable carbon monoxide detector, saying “I don’t go to any Airbnb or hotel without it because I don’t trust the carbon monoxide detectors [there] are actually kept in good repair.”

Rosen clearly wasn’t the only one to have discovered this travel hack. One person wrote, “my mom was crazy about ours growing up and now that I’m an adult, I am too.”

@ask.bubbie Could save lives!
♬ original sound - Ask Bubbie



Another echoed, “I haven’t traveled without it…ever. US or international.”

A travel agent also chimed in, saying, “I tell all my clients to pack one and we always take one with us to hotels. So important!”

A few showed concern as to whether or not could travel via carry-on, or if it needed to be checked. Travel site AFAR media says airlines allow them in both carry-on and checked bags, but if you have a device that uses lithium batteries, those would have to be removed.

Ranging from $30-$40ish bucks on Amazon, it seems a small price to pay for peace of mind, especially if you’re traveling with kiddos, or are pregnant. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), infants and children have an “increased susceptibility to CO toxicity” because of their higher metabolic rates, with fetuses being “especially vulnerable.”

carbon monoxide at airbnb, carbon monoxide at hotel, carbon monoxide poisoning, carbon monoxide detector, travel, travel tipsA photo of a portable carbon monoxide detector from Amazonm.media-amazon.com

The scariest thing about carbon monoxide is that it’s a silent, odorless killer. Combine that with the fact that with a hotel or Airbnb, you have no idea if precautions are being taken to make sure fuel-burning appliances, such as boilers, furnaces, pool heaters, fireplaces, or water heaters are properly maintained, or that the rooms which contained them are properly vented. Any of these items, when not taken care of, can lead to carbon monoxide poisoning. And you’d never know it.

Thankfully, while there should definitely be wider efforts being made to ensure his doesn’t happen, we can take matters into our own hands a little.

Follow Ask Bubbie for even more helpful tips.

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Community

Chef shares 100 life-changing cooking hacks he learned from working in restaurants

Some of these tips are so simple but oh-so-helpful.

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You learn a lot about cooking when you work in restaurants.

Some people love cooking, some people hate it, and some see it as something to do so they don't starve. While the art and joy of cooking may be lost on some people, those who do enjoy it tend to have some secrets up their sleeves that might help the rest of us find the kitchen a more pleasant place to work.

Joshua Weissman is one of those people who loved cooking since he began cooking alongside his mother at age 3. He has since made a name for himself as a cookbook author, fine dining chef, and food educator with a huge following on YouTube. In one of his most popular videos, he shares 100 food hacks he learned working in restaurants, and there are so many gems that can make cooking easier, faster, and more fun.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Here are some of the highlights:

Hack #1 - Washing produce with vinegar to make it last longer

Take three parts water and one part vinegar, add produce, swish, and let sit for 2-5 minutes. Drain, rinse, pat dry, and then store in the fridge.

Hack #4 - Peeling lots of garlic

He shares the bowl trick, where you put a bunch of unpeeled garlic cloves in a bowl, place a same-sized bowl upside down on top of it and shake vigorously. Theoretically, this peels all the garlic, but inevitably, it really only peels about half. Put some warm water over the ones that haven't peeled and let them sit for two minutes—the peel should then slide off easily.

Hack #5 - Bruise those fresh herbs before cooking

Before adding fresh herbs to a soup or sauce, give them a fierce squeeze in your hand to "bruise" them. This will release twice as much flavor, especially if you add them toward the end.

Hack #13 - Perfectly peeled eggs

We've all mangled a hard-boiled egg before. Weissman says to lightly crack your boiled egg, then roll it around and around on a hard surface until there are lots of tiny cracks, then submerge the egg in a bowl of water and peel under the water.

Hack #28 - Potato masher ground beef

That's it. Use a potato masher to smoosh your ground beef to break up all the big chunks. Works way better than a spoon or fork.

Hack #33 - Season high

High as in way above. Put the seasoning (salt, pepper, whatever) in your fingers and sprinkle it from a foot or so above the meat or whatever you're seasoning. This ensures the most even, maximum surface area seasoning.

Hack #45 - Peel ginger with a spoon

Instead of a peeler, which may take more of the ginger than you want it to, scrape ginger with the curved edge of a spoon. The spoon also makes it way easier to get around the little nubs and curves of the ginger root.

Hack #60 - Extend the life of fresh herbs that are going ick

If you have fresh herbs that are starting to go, wrap some string tightly around the end of the bunch and hang it somewhere with a little draft. They'll dry out and have a much longer life.

Hack #76 - Up your cooked veggie game

People often wonder how restaurants manage to get their cooked vegetables to taste so good. Weissman says it's quite simple— salt, lemon juice, and olive oil. Toss the veggies with them. That's it. "You'd be shocked how much that changes a finished cooked vegetable," he says.

Hack #81 - Make it easier to grate soft cheeses

Soft cheese like mozzarella or gouda can be hard to grate without making a gunky mess. But if you put the into the freezer for 15-30 minutes before grating. So much easier.

Hack #97 - For fluffy biscuits, it's all about how you cut the butter

Weissman says fluffy biscuits usually come down to how big your butter chunks are, and that people usually cut their butter into too small of chunks. Big cubes before cutting them into the dough and letting it be chunky will help you get the flakiness you desire.

There are so many more in Weissman's list of 100 that are helpful and useful for home cooks to know. (Especially if you cook a lot of meat or sauces—quite a few tips for those things in there.) Hopefully these hacks will make cooking a bit easier and more enjoyable for everyone.

You can follow Joshua Weissman on YouTube.


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