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Childless people over 50 are honestly reflecting on whether they made the right decision

Spoiler alert: They’re totally fine with it.

childless couples, kid-free life, regrets of seniors
via Pexels

Childless people over 50 discuss their decision.

People who decide not to have children are often unfairly judged by those who chose a different life path. People with children can be especially judgmental to women who’ve decided to opt out of motherhood.

“You will regret it!” is one of the most common phrases lobbed at those who choose to remain childless. Why do people think they’ll have such awful regrets? Because they often say they’ll wind up “lonely and sad” when they’re older.

They also say that life without children is without purpose and that when the childless get older they’ll have no one to take care of them. One of the most patronizing critiques thrown at childless women is that they will never “feel complete” unless they have a child.

However, a lot of these critiques say more about the person doling them out than the person who decides to remain childless.

Maybe, just maybe, their life is fulfilling enough without having to reproduce. Maybe, just maybe, they can have a life full of purpose without caring for any offspring.

Maybe the question should be: What’s lacking in your life that you need a child to feel complete?

Studies show that some people regret being childless when they get older, but they’re in the minority.

An Australian researcher found that a quarter of child-free women came to regret the decision once they were past child-bearing age and began contemplating old age alone.

People revealed the reasons they’ve decided to be childless in an article by The Upshot. The top answers were the desire for more leisure time, the need to find a partner and the inability to afford child care. A big reason that many women decide not to have children is that motherhood feels like more of a choice these days, instead of a foregone conclusion as it was in previous decades.

Reddit user u/ADreamyNightOwl asked a “serious” question about being childless to the AskReddit subforum and received a lot of honest answers. They asked “People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not?”

The people who responded are overwhelmingly happy with their decision not to have children.

A surprising number said they felt positive about their decision because they thought they’d be a lousy parent. Others said they were happy to have been able to enjoy more free time than their friends and family members who had kids.

Here are some of the best responses to the Askreddit question.

1. Never had any desire.

"I explain it to people like this - you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way.

"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own." — IBeTrippin

2. No desire. No regrets.

"Nope. It was never something I wanted. No regrets." — BornaCrone

3. Mixed feelings.

"I have mixed feelings. I don't care much for children and I think it would have been disastrous for us to have them. I was also able to retire at 52. Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened with kids. So yeah, absolutely the right decision.
But I love my family and I do wonder what it would be like to have my own, to teach my child the things I know and not to be without someone who cares about me at the time of my death.

"But again, absolutely the right decision and at 55 I'm very happy NOT to have them. This is reinforced every time I'm exposed to other people's kids." — ProfessorOzone

4. They never visit.

"My wife worked at a nursing home for years. Imagine seeing for years that over 95% of old people never have family visit. Till they die and people want a piece of the pie. This when I learned that the whole 'well who is gonna visit you or take care of you when you're older' line is complete bullshit. We decided to not have kids ever after that. Made great friends and saw the world. No regrets." — joevilla1369

5. It wasn't an option.

"I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least. So yeah... I have regrets." — MaerakiStudioMe

6. Grandkids are cooler.

"No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he's 10 years older). I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn't even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we've been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!" — Zublor

7. I'd be a bad parent.


"Not one bit. I have never believed that I would be a good parent. I have a short temper, and while I don't think I would have been physically abusive, my words and tone of voice would be harsh in a very similar way to my own father. I wasn't happy growing up with that kind parent and I wouldn't want to subject any child to that kind of parenting." — Videoman7189

8. I'd rather be the cool aunt and uncle.

"No and I found a partner who feels the same. We are the cool aunt and uncle." — laudinum

9. Loneliness is underrated.


"54 yrs.old. I've lived the past 30 years alone. Presently my dog and I are chillin' in a nice hotel on a spur of the moment vacation. I'd maybe be a grandfather by now?! I can't imagine what it would be like to have family. I picture a life lived more "normally" sometimes. All sunshine and roses, white picket fence, etc. but I realize real life isn't like that. No I don't regret being childfree or wifefree for that matter. My life can be boring at times but then I look back at all the drama that comes with relationships and think I've dodged a bullet. I spent 20 years trying to find a wife to start a family. Then I realized the clock had run out, so fuck it, all the money I'd saved for my future family would be spent on myself. Hmmmmm...what do I want to buy myself for Christmas?" — Hermits_Truth

10. No diaper changes and no regrets.

"Nope. I never had the urge to change diapers or lose sleep, free time and most of my earnings. Other people's kids are great. Mostly because they are other people's. When people ask 'Who will take care of you when you're old' I tell them that when I'm 75 I will adopt a 40-year-old." — fwubglubbel

11. Zero desire.

"I’m 55 (F) and never wanted children. I just don’t much like them, and 20+ years of motherhood sounded (and still sounds) like a prison sentence. Maternal af when it comes to cats and dogs, but small humans? No chance.

"And I’m very happy to be childless. Cannot imagine my life any other way." — GrowlKitty

12. D.I.N.K.

"Dual income no kids = great lifestyle!" — EggOntheRun

13. Some regrets

"Over 50 and child free. My only regret is that my wife would have been a great mother, and sometimes I feel like I deprived her of that, even though we both agreed we didn’t want kids. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed her into that decision. She works with the elderly every day and sees a lot of lonely folks so it gets to her sometimes. I was always afraid I’d screw up the parenting thing, so I was never really interested in the idea. I’m a loner by nature though." — Johnny-Virgil


This article originally appeared on 02.08.22

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Animals & Wildlife

6th grader's science experiment answers, 'Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?'

A question no one knew they needed answered.

Photo courtesy of Kerry Hyde

Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on? Science answers.

Cat owners sometimes have unique questions that even Google doesn't always have the answer to. This is probably the sole reason cat forums exist, but one kid who needed a 6th grade science project decided to skip the cat forums for answers and instead use the scientific method. Kaeden Henry, a sixth grader living in Florida, bravely pondered a question few (if any one) has been brave enough to ask: do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?

Since cats do whatever the heck they want, training them not to jump on kitchen counters is a feat even Hercules struggles to complete. These fierce felines don't care if you're cooking dinner or trying to get comfy in bed. If they want to sit somewhere, they're going to do it. The thought of cat butts on that expensive Serta pillow designed to feel like you're sleeping on a cloud can gross people out, but thanks to Kaeden, you no longer have to wonder if the butthole itself is also making contact.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The curious sixth grader is homeschooled and well-versed in the scientific method thanks to her mother's PhD in animal behavior with a concentration in feline behavior. And, since they own cats, the science experiment was pretty straightforward (and directly impactful).

To complete the experiment, Henry and his mom, Kerry Hyde, bought non-toxic lipstick and applied it to each of their cat's anuses. Then, the cats were given commands.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"Non-toxic lipstick was applied to their bum-bums, they were then given a series of commands (sit, wait, lie down, and jump up. Side note: Both cats have been trained since kittenhood with a variety of commands, they also know how to high-five, spin around, and speak.), they were compensated with lots of praise, pets, and their favorite treats, and the lipstick was removed with a baby wipe once we collected our data in just under 10 minutes," Hyde wrote in a Facebook post.

The results? Turns out that, no, cat buttholes do not touch every surface cats sit on. Now, let's all take a collective sigh of relief while we go over the details. Kaeden's experiment covered long-haired, short-haired, and medium-haired cats (if your cat is hairless, you better stock up on Clorox wipes just in case).

"His results and general findings: Long and medium haired cat’s buttholes made NO contact with soft or hard surfaces at all. Short haired cats made NO contact on hard surfaces. But we did see evidence of a slight smear on the soft bedding surface. Conclusion, if you have a short haired cat and they may be lying on a pile of laundry, an unmade bed, or other soft uneven surface, then their butthole MAY touch those surfaces!" Hyde shares.

Now every curious cat owner can rest easy knowing that as long as their cat has hair, their bare bottom balloon knot is not touching the majority of surfaces in their home.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The amusing experiment caught the Internet's attention. People laughed and commented, with one person writing, "This is probably the most useful information I’ve learned from a science fair project."

"Good to know!...I can now eat my sandwich left on the counter with confidence!" another writes.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"A+++!!! Whew!! I am very grateful for your sciencing on this subject. My fears from walking in on my cat sitting on my laptop keyboard and subsequently being grossed out and cleaning furiously in a hyper-ocd manner have been somewhat allayed and now maybe I won’t have to use QUIIITE so many wipes." someone chimes in.

"Finally.. Someone answers the important questions!!"

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Celebrity

Paul Rudd recreated his Nintendo commercial from 1991 and fans have gone utterly wild

"Paul Rudd, sold separately."

Nintendo of America/YouTube

Paul Rudd recreating his first commercial from 1991.

It's official. 56-year-old Paul Rudd has a superpower, and that is he simply does not age. Either that, or he's some sort of adorable vampire who chose the age of 30 and held on for dear life. The internet got reminded of his agelessness again when Nintendo uploaded both Rudd's new spot for Nintendo Switch 2 and the original 1991 Super Nintendo Gaming System commercial, which starred Rudd when he was just 22.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This was Paul's first time on television, followed shortly by two mid-90s TV jobs, which led up to his 1995 film breakthrough as the "super cute brother" in Clueless.

On Polygon.com, Ian Walker writes that in the original commercial, Paul plays "games like F-Zero and a then-unnamed The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past." Paul is clad in a wooden necklace dangling over a faded red T-shirt, covered by some kind of long blazer,/duster regrettably popular in the decade. It appears that maybe stylists tried to make his hair a bit flowy, à la a '90s grunge singer, powered by an electric windstorm.

In the commercial, Paul walks up to a big drive-in movie screen, while the late British actor Tony Jay's deep, stoic voice narrates: "When you decide to step up to this kind of power, this kind of challenge, this kind of flying, crashing, feeling. When you decide to get serious – there's only one place to come." Paul's baby-faced grin occasionally becomes awe-struck as he grips the controller like he's saving its life.

Now, 34 years later, he's back for the Switch 2 spot, entitled "Now You're Playing Together." And he's still wearing that long duster, which looks like it came straight out of an Ann Taylor Loft sales rack. (He's also still wearing the red shirt and beautifully awful necklace.) This time, it's Rudd himself narrating the commercial, looking equally enthusiastic.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Only now, it's from the comfort of a home with others like comedians Joe Lo Truglio, Jordan Carlos, and a child who refers to him as Uncle Paul heckling him through the game-chat while they play Mario Kart World. Walker points out that it's a "wonderful side-by-side look at how differently video games are marketed in the 2020s compared to the 1990s."

Rudd told People Magazine how much he loved the re-creation. "Joe's one of my closest friends, so playing Switch 2 with him wouldn't be that different in real life. And Evan Goldberg (often Seth Rogen's producing partner) directed the ad, who I've known a long time."

Paul Rudd, Clueless, movies, 90sPaul Rudd GIFGiphy

There are already millions of views for the commercials and thousands of YouTube comments. One person writes, "The self-awareness of this was fun. The fog machine blowing cheaply with the fan? That was just nice. Not just redoing it, but doin' it tongue in cheek. Great job!"

Another jokes, "It only took Paul Rudd 34 years to get a speaking line in a Nintendo commercial." And perhaps this one takes the cake: "Paul Rudd, sold separately."

But it's Reddit who really delivers the fandom. In the subreddit r/gaming, one person exclaims, "Damn, that's how you do a nostalgia reference." A few people have notes on the price and/or quality of the interface. This person would like a word with the location scout: "DAMN... they should have done it in a drive-in movies setting again. Still... it's awesome they got him to do it though."

And in homage to an inside joke with Conan O'Brien, many Redditors pretend to post a link to the original commercial, only to actually link to this gem. (I fell for the trick every single time.)

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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Science

Innovative farm in Virginia can grow 4 million pounds of strawberries on less than one acre

This method uses 97 percent less land and up to 90 percent less water than conventional farming.

Photo credit: Canva

A new way to grow strawberries with less land, less water, and more berries.

Strawberry farm harvests aren't something most of us calculate on a regular basis (or ever at all), but the numbers from a strawberry farm in Richmond, Virginia, are staggering enough to make it worth an old-school word problem. If the average American eats 8 pounds of strawberries a year, and an average strawberry farm yields approximately 20,000 pounds of berries per acre, how many people could a 200-acre strawberry field feed?

I won't make you do the math. The answer is 500,000 people. But what if a crop that size, providing enough strawberries for half a million people, could be grown on just one acre instead of 200? It's possible. You just have to go—or rather grow—up, up, up.

Indoor vertical farm company Plenty Unlimited knows a lot about growing up. In fact, it's their entire business model. Instead of the sprawling fields that traditional farming methods require, vertical farms have a much smaller land footprint, utilizing proprietary towers for growing. Plenty has used vertical farming methods to grow greens such as lettuce, kale, spinach and more for years, but now it boasts a vertical berry farm that can yield a whopping 4 million pounds of strawberries on a little less than an acre.

Growing indoors means not being at the mercy of weather or climate inpredictability (barring a storm taking out your building), which is wise in the era of climate change. Unlike a traditional greenhouse which still uses the sun for light, Plenty's indoor vertical farms make use of the latest technology and research on light, pinpointing the wavelengths plants need from the sun to thrive and recreating them with LED lights. Plenty farms also don't use soil, as what plants really need is water and nutrients, which can be provided without soil (and with a lot less water than soil requires). Being able to carefully control water and nutrients means you can more easily control the size, taste and uniformity of the berries you’re growing.

If that sounds like a lot of control, it is. And that idea might freak people out. But when a highly controlled environment means not having to use pesticides and using up to 90% less water than traditional farming, it starts to sound like a solid, sustainable farming innovation.

Plenty even uses AI in its strawberry farm, according to its website:

“Every element of the Plenty Richmond Farm–including temperature, light and humidity–is precisely controlled through proprietary software to create the perfect environment for the strawberry plants to thrive. The farm uses AI to analyze more than 10 million data points each day across its 12 grow rooms, adapting each grow room’s environment to the evolving needs of the plants – creating the perfect environment for Driscoll’s proprietary plants to thrive and optimizing the strawberries’ flavor, texture and size.”

Plenty even has its own patent-pending method of pollinating the strawberry flowers that doesn’t require bees. Even just the fact that this enormous crop of strawberries will be coming from Virginia is notable, since the vast majority of strawberries in the U.S. are grown in California.

strawberry fieldTraditional strawberry farming takes up a lot of land.Photo credit: Canva

Plenty's Richmond farm is currently growing strawberries exclusively for Driscoll’s.

“Partnering with Plenty for the launch of the Richmond Farm allows us to bring our premium strawberries closer to consumers in the Northeast, the largest berry consumption region in the U.S.,” Driscoll’s CEO Soren Bjorn said in a press release. “By combining our 100 years of farming expertise and proprietary varieties along with Plenty’s cutting-edge technology, we can deliver the same consistent flavor and quality our customers love — now grown locally. This new innovative farm is a powerful step forward in continuing to drive category growth in new ways for our customers and consumers.”

Is Plenty’s model the farm of the future? Perhaps it’s one option, at least. The more we grapple with the impact of climate change and outdated, unsustainable farming practices, the more innovative ideas we’ll need to feed the masses. If they can get 4 million pounds of strawberries out of an acre of land, what else is possible?

This article originally appeared in February

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Family

'It's not Little Sun': Mom can't believe she's having trouble pronouncing her newborn's name

She had no idea this would be a problem.

via JustusMoms29/TikTok (used with permission)

Justus Stroup is starting to realize her baby's name isn't that common.

One of the many surprises that come with parenthood is how the world reacts to your child’s name. It’s less of a surprise if your child has a common name like John, Mohammed, or Lisa. But if you give your child a non-traditional name that’s gender-neutral, you’re going to throw a lot of folks off guard, and mispronunciations are going to be an issue.

This exact situation happened with TikTok user Justus Stroup, who recently had her second child, but there’s a twist: she isn’t quite sure how to pronounce her child’s name either. "I may have named my daughter a name I can't even pronounce," Stroup opens the video. "Now, I think I can pronounce it, but I've told a couple of people her name, and there are two people who thought I said the same exact thing. So, I don't know that I know how to [pronounce] her name correctly."

@justusmoms29

Just when you think you name your child something normal! #2under2mom #postpartum #newborn #momsoftiktok #uniquenames #babyname #babygirl #sahm #momhumor

Stroup’s daughter is named Sutton, and the big problem is how people around her pronounce the Ts. Stroup tends to gloss over the Ts, so it sounds like Suh-en. However, some people go hard on the Ts and call her “Sut-ton.”

"I'm not gonna enunciate the 'Ts' like that. It drives me absolutely nuts," she noted in her TikTok video. "I told a friend her name one time, and she goes, 'Oh, that's cute.' And then she repeated the name back to me and I was like, 'No, that is not what I said.'"

Stroup also had a problem with her 2-year-old son’s speech therapist, who thought the baby’s name was Sun and that there weren’t any Ts in the name at all. "My speech therapist, when I corrected her and spelled it out, she goes, 'You know, living out in California, I have friends who named their kids River and Ocean, so I didn't think it was that far off.'"


Stroup told People that she got the name from a TV show called “The Lying Game,” which she used to watch in high school. "Truthfully, this was never a name on my list before finding out I was pregnant with a girl, but after finding out the gender, it was a name I mentioned and my husband fell in love with," says Stroup. "I still love the name. I honestly thought I was picking a strong yet still unique name. I still find it to be a pretty name, and I love that it is gender neutral as those are the type of names I love for girls."

The mother could choose the name because her husband named their son Greyson.

The commenters thought Stroup should tell people it’s Sutton, pronounced like a button. “I hear it correctly! Sutton like Button. I would pronounce it like you, too!” Amanda wrote.

“My daughter’s name is Sutton. I say it the same way as you. When people struggle with her name, I say it’s Button but with a S. That normally immediately gets them to pronounce it correctly,” Megan added.

After the video went viral, Stroup heard from people named Hunter and Peyton, who are dealing with a similar situation. “I've also noticed the two most common names who run into the same issue are Hunter (people pronouncing it as Hunner or HUNT-ER) and Payton (pronounced Pey-Ton or Pey-tin, most prefer it as Pey-tin),” she told Upworthy.

baby, newborn baby, baby girl, baby girl teddy, teddy bear, sleeping babyA newborn baby with her Teddy bear. (Representative image)via Canva/Photos

“Another person commented saying her name is Susan and people always think it is Season or Steven,” Stroup told Upworthy. After having her second child, she learned that people mix up even the simplest names. “No name is safe at this point,” she joked.

The whole situation has Stroup rethinking how she pronounces her daughter’s name. Hopefully, she got some advance on how to tell people how to pronounce it, or else she’ll have years of correcting people in front of her. "Good lord, I did not think this was going to be my issue with this name," she said.

Three months later, Stroup posted a video asking her TikTok followers for help giving Sutton a nickname. She said it was easy with her son, Greyson, because they can just call him Grey. But Sutton is a little more difficult. Her father calls her "Tonton," which drives Stroup up the wall. "You cannot be calling a girl Tonton," she exclaimed. Stroup's followers suggested they call her "Sutty," but the name she really liked was "Sunny."

@justusmoms29

Calling all Sutton’s to the conversation! #nicknames #momsoftiktok #momof2 #sahm #toddlermom #newborn #postpartum

This article originally appeared last year.

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Education

Mom is shocked when her daughter says state writing exams don’t involve writing anymore

“Are you saying that in the 1900s you had to hand write all of your exams?”

Photo credit: Canva

Mom shocked after daughter reveals there's no writing in state writing exam.

State standardized testing isn't something that most kids or parents look forward to. They're typically long, boring, and don't accurately measure how well every child understands the information they've been taught throughout the year. But it's currently the only way for states to get measurable data on the education happening in public schools.

Erin Monroe was driving her daughter to school when she learned her daughter had state testing in English Language Arts (ELA). To no one's surprise, Monroe's daughter was not thrilled about taking state testing, especially for a test that likely required a lot of reading and writing. This was Monroe's time to shine by pulling out her pep talking and comforting skills to ensure her 6th grader had positive words to remember during testing.

season 7 episode 6 GIFGiphy

The mom wasn't prepared for the emotional whiplash she was about to endure when her daughter dropped the truth of her ELA exam. There's no manual writing involved.

"I was like, I get it. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of reading and writing but we all had to do it. Just do your very best and get to it, I know your hand's going to really be hurting at the end of the day," Monroe recalls about the conversation with her confused daughter before reiterating to her child that it involves a lot of writing.

This bit of information not only confused but amused the middles schooler who came back with a bit of a reality check for the mom by giving her the amusing truth of today. "And she goes, 'wait, are you trying...are you saying that in the 1900s you had to handwrite all of your exams?'"

diane guerrero latina GIF by IdentityGiphy

She threw in the 1900s. THE. 1900s. As if to make it seem like this millennial mom was really riding in a buggy trying to survive dysentery. After the insult and revelation that there was no handwriting involved in the state ELA test, Monroe jokingly kicked her daughter out of her car.

"You're trying to tell me you're complaining about doing your exam and you get to type it? Um, absolutely not. First of all don't call it the early 1900s and it was good character development," Monroe says she told her daughter.

@erin.monroe_ #millennial #millennialmom #fyp ♬ original sound - Erin Monroe

There's something about the reminder of growing up in the "1900s" that just takes the wind out of your metaphorical sailboat. Viewers of the video were equally amused and shocked by this seemingly new information with one person recalling, "The fear they instilled in us for not having #2 pencils."

"Do the blue books not exist anymore?!?!?!?!?" someone demanded to know.

"My kids literally said their state tests are on their laptops & I wholeheartedly got mad for a second, if you don’t give these kids a scantron!!!!!!!" another chimes in.

Dexters Laboratory Type GIFGiphy

"I still have the calluses on my index finger… 20 years later," someone else jokes.

"My 6th grader was also complaining about her writing exam and it never even occurred to me that she wasn't actually writing.. I'm going to go sit in the rocking chair and watch Wheel of Fortune," another commenter writes.

"I was showing kids the 'tools' they can use to take their test - ruler, highlighter, magnifier, etc. I'm the librarian and also teach some tech, but I used to teach 4th grade, so I was explaining that the last time I gave the test, it was on paper and the tools were cardstock. One of the kids said, 'What, in, like, 1965'?' I'm 49. Child."

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