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Brits share the most 'bizarre' things Americans do that seem unbelievable across the pond

Our friends across the pond offer some outside perspective on our habits, from the pledge of allegiance to spray cheese.

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U.S. National Archives

From an outside perspective, the pledge of allegiance seems "culty."

You know how you were raised in a household where things were done a certain way, and then at some point, you went to other people's houses and saw that other people's families lived completely differently and it sort of blew your mind? Different rules, different standards, different consequences, different habits—all of which were considered normal to them? Some of those differences may have made you thank the heavens for your parents, or they may have made you realize your own family had some issues you didn't recognize.

The same thing happens when you are born and raised in a specific culture. Your sense of what's normal is molded by it—so much so that you may never even think to question whether certain things are actually rather bizarre.

That's why it's nice to have some outside perspective sometimes.

A Reddit user asked "What is the most bizarre thing Americans do that feels unbelievable by British standards?" and the answers are eye-opening.

Pledging allegiance to the flag

The first response was "Having kids pledge allegiance to the flag in school. Seems culty."

Most adult Americans were trained as young children to place our hands over our hearts, face the flag and recite the pledge every morning at school. Every single morning. Swearing our allegiance to our country and its flag, out loud, in unison.

"I went to an American school while I lived in Italy; I was one of the only English kids there. The pledge of allegiance was indeed every morning, and it felt as culty as you think. They called my parents when I wasn't joining in ffs," wrote one commenter.

"Never mind seeming culty, it just flat out is," wrote another.

And another: "As an expat, I can confirm that having to pledge allegiance to the American flag was definitely one of the weirdest things that contributed to the culture shock."

Let's be real. If we saw children from any country deemed unsavory to American sensibilities (let's say Russia, China, North Korea, for example) being required to stand in unison and recite a pledge of allegiance to their country's flag every single morning, we'd consider it brainwashing.

There's a reason that first comment got more than 5,500 upvotes.

The way we do healthcare

The comment "Going bankrupt because you needed your broken leg realigned. Being homeless as a result of needing to pay for cancer treatment" garnered 2,000 likes because the U.S. approach to healthcare is genuinely bizarre.

Everything Americans accept about healthcare is asinine: the for-profit health insurance industry, the fact that health insurance is tied to employment (but not all employment, because that would make too much sense, apparently), the fact that we pay way more for healthcare than other wealthy nations and yet have worse health outcomes, the fact that virtually no one understands how their health insurance works because it's so complicated, the fact that medical bankruptcy is a thing, etc.

And on top of that, the fact that there is a baffling number of Americans who actually defend this system when all evidence points to the superiority of universal healthcare is absolutely mind-blowing.

How we don't do guaranteed paid parental leave

"No paid maternity/paternity leave and new mothers having to go back to work within two weeks of giving birth. Insane," wrote one commenter.

After Americans tried to say this wasn't true because their company offers paid leave, the commenter clarified that the U.S. doesn't require paid leave. It's up to the discretion of companies, which is, indeed, insane.

"I've always thought this was barbaric but since having my baby it horrifies me even more," someone wrote in response. "My baby is 12 months old next weekend and I'm still on leave. My mat leave is just finishing and I'm about to start annual leave which will see me through until January. I've been on around half pay for the year which has been tough financially but I wouldn't give up this time for anything.

"At 2 weeks I could still hardly sit (episiotomy), my boobs were painfully full and leaking all the time, I was barely managing to get dressed, my baby was wanting to be held at all times day and night... I was hardly functioning.

"We don't separate kittens and puppies from their mothers that early, how can it possibly be okay to separate babies from their mothers."

School shootings and the active shooter drills that go along with them

Well, yeah. Not exactly a point of pride.

It's not that other countries never ever have school shootings, but the U.S. is in a league of our own here.

"My cousins in America do school shooting practises every term," wrote one commenter. "It's awful that that's a thing they need. Scary."

"You can buy bulletproof school bags," wrote another. "It's nuts."

To be fair, most Americans would agree that school shootings and active shooter drills are bizarre. We just can't agree on what to do about it.

Our lack of electric kettles, apparently

One commenter wrote:

"On a less serious note, boiling water in a pan (or microwaving it!) for a cup of tea or coffee. I've seen it when watching regular people do videos, not just on tv or whatever. Where are all the kettles??(There are a lot about guns and stuff, so I thought I'd do one that's less sad.)"

Others chimed in:

"I'm a Brit living in the US and my electric kettle is viewed by some of my American friends as a revelation. I buy them as gifts."

"Both times I've been to America, I would go down to reception at the hotel and ask for a kettle. The receptionist would look at me dumbly and ask what a kettle was. And this wasn't once or twice. This was multiple times."

Some people explained some reasons for kettles being rare-but-not-unheard-of, ranging from the voltage being different in the U.S. to the fact that microwaving water is quick and easy. But there's also this:

"British/American living in the US... No one I know really drinks tea with enough regularity to warrant a kettle, specially living in tiny apartments with limited kitchen space. Coffee makers are a lot more common because coffee is more popular than tea that I've seen."

This is the truth. (And I do know a lot of people with electric kettles, but it apparently varies from region to region.)

We don't walk when we can drive

Several commenters pointed to Americans' resistance to walking anywhere that's farther than a block or two, as well as our lack of sidewalks and walkways to even make it possible:

"No pavements/sidewalks in some places. I went to Dallas for work some years ago, and was dismayed to find that I couldn't just 'go for a walk' from the hotel."

"Yes! Nobody there walks ANYWHERE. I have a friend who is from Iowa but lived in London for a few years. When she went back she said she really misses walking. I asked what she meant, she said if she just went on a random walk she'd definitely get people stopping for her thinking she's not okay, not okay in the head or just homeless."

"I was reading a book the other day that described a woman walking two miles to then get a bus home as a 'hike'. I mean, that's just walking? Sure it was alongside a road not on a pavement but it's still just walking!"

"Yep, that's really weird. I went to an IT conference in Orlando back in the late 1990's. The hotel was only about a kilometre from the conference centre, so obvs we walked as the weather was nice. Not only was it tricky due to the lack of any footpath, people thought we were mad. Also you can't just cross the road where you want to."

Sorry, Brits. Our land is big and our gas is cheap compared to yours. And also, you know we're notorious for our unhealthy habits.

Sales tax tacked on at the end of a purchase

"Taxes put on at check out," wrote one commenter.

Wait, what? This isn't normal?

Apparently not.

"The taxes infuriate me," wrote one commenter. "I was in Canada last week and they do the same thing. I kept thinking I was being overcharged until I remembered that advertised prices don't include taxes, and that you're expected to tip for pretty much everything."

"I only found out about the tax thing recently and it f*cking blew my mind," wrote another. "How tf do you know how much cash you'll need? Americans must be really good at mental arithmetic if they have to add tax every time they add something to their basket."

Spoiler: We're not all that good at mental arithmetic. We just know we need about 10% more money than what a thing actually costs.

Agreed, though. It's weird and annoying.

This isn't an exhaustive list, by any means. Other "bizarre" American habits include circumcision (just the messenger—please don't send me hate mail), televangelism, prescription drug commercials and spray cheese.

Definitely some food for thought as we consider what's "normal" and what's not. Different or even "bizarre" isn't necessarily bad, but we could certainly do some national soul-searching with some of the things on this list.

(And hey, British friends—the way you say "aluminum" is weird. So there.)


This article originally appeared on 11.18.21

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Education

She fell in love with endangered porpoises at age 7. Now, she's on a mission to save the ocean.

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When Rachel Heimke was seven, she realized what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Little did she know a $40,000 BigFuture Scholarship would help her pursue her dreams.

Heimke and her parents were living an unconventional lifestyle, to say the least. The summer after she completed first grade, she and her parents boarded a sailboat and sailed from their hometown in Alaska down the Pacific Coast. The family would spend the next two years traveling on the water, passing Mexico and then sailing across the world to Australia before returning home. It was on the sailboat, watching whales and dolphins breach the water under their boat, that Heimke realized her life’s purpose.

“I was really obsessed with these little porpoises called Vaquitta, who only live in one tiny area of water off the coast of Mexico,” she recalled. “When I learned about them as a kid, there were only 22 left in the wild. Now, there are only ten.” Despite her interest, Heimke was never able to actually see any Vaquitta on her trip, both because of their inherent shyness and because they were so critically endangered due to detrimental fishing policies in the area. “That was my wakeup call,” she says. “I’ll probably never be able to see this porpoise, and I don’t want that to be true of other species.”

Now a young woman of 23, Heimke is realizing her childhood dream of ocean conservation by recently graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in ocean sciences and enrolling in a grad program in Canada to study science communication. Heimke is well on her way to achieving her childhood dream—but she acknowledges that none of this would have been possible without her ocean adventures as a child, the support of her parents, and significant financial support.

At 18, when Heimke was deciding where to study ocean sciences, she stumbled upon an opportunity from BigFuture, College Board's free college and career planning site. The opportunity was the BigFuture Scholarship, which provided students the chance to win a $40,000 scholarship by completing six action items on the website. Heimke was intrigued, since she didn’t need to provide an essay, her GPA, or any test scores to enter. Her eligibility was also not tied to citizenship status or family income, so she decided to give it a shot.

“One of the action items was just going on the BigFuture site and creating a list of colleges I was interested in,” said Heimke. Another item required her to apply for financial aid through FAFSA—something Heimke was planning to do anyway. Every completed action item gave students more chances to win the scholarship, so Heimke completed all six action items quickly.

Months later, Heimke’s parents ushered her over to a call over Zoom, where she met a BigFuture representative who had some surprising news: She was one of 25 students who had won the $40,000 BigFuture college scholarship. Each year she would receive $10,000 in scholarship funding, which would cover her entire tuition bill for all four years of schooling.

“That experience taught me that it’s really important to not give up on your goals and just go for opportunities,” said Heimke. “I never thought I would win anything, but I’ve learned it's worth applying anyway. Even a small scholarship of $1,000 can pay your rent for a month,” she said. “And If you write an essay that takes an hour and you win $5,000, that’s probably the most money per hour you’ll ever make in your life.”

The tuition money made it possible for her to attend college, and for her to apply to graduate school immediately afterward without any financial burdens.

“Now that I’m in graduate school and paying for rent and a phone bill and graduate school tuition, it’s truly a blessing to not have student loan debt on top of that,” Heimke said. Because of the BigFuture scholarship, Heimke doesn’t need to pay for her graduate program either—she’s able to fund her education with the money her parents saved by not having to pay for her undergraduate degree.

One of the biggest blessings, Heimke said, was not needing to delay graduate school to work or find extra funds. With climate change worsening, entering the workforce becomes increasingly important over time.

“I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do with my degrees, but I hope to have a lot of different jobs that ultimately will work toward saving our ocean,” she said.

As a child, witnessing marine life up close and personal was life-changing. Heimke’s goal is for future generations to have that experience, as she did.

To learn more and get started, visit bigfuture.org/scholarships.

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Education

Teacher reveals the 'really obvious' reason teens no longer read. It's not just the phones.

"Kids who read are just built different."

via Canva/Photos

A teenage boy stars at his smartphone.

Studies show that kids are spending a lot less time reading these days. In 2020, 42% of 9-year-old students said they read for fun almost daily, down from 52% in 2012. Seventeen percent of 13-year-olds read for fun daily, down from 27% in 2012. Among 17-year-olds, 19% say they read for fun, down from 31% in 1984.

It’s safe to say that modern technology is a big reason why kids aren’t reading as much. A recent report found that teenagers spend an average of 8 hours 39 minutes per day on screens, compared to 5-and-a-half hours for pre-teen children. So, it’s no wonder they don’t have any time left to crack open a book. A high school teacher on TikTok who goes by the name StillATeacher recently brought the topic up with her class, and they stopped reading for fun at the end of middle school.

“So even those who are like avid readers of the Percy Jackson series in fourth and fifth grade fall off,” the teacher says. “Honestly, there are many reasons to stop reading recreationally, like increased pressure inside and outside of school, a desire to spend more time socializing, and, of course, the phones.”

But the teacher says there’s an obvious reason “right in front of our faces”: the adults. “Adults have lowered the bar for how much you should read as a teenager so far that the bar cannot be found,” she continued. “There are many educators who have the mindset that you shouldn't teach whole books because kids just won't read them.”

@stillateacher

the literacy crisis is upon us #teachertok #teacher #highschoolteacher #englishteacher #education #literacy #booktok #creatorsearchinsights

“I've taught at schools where teaching novels is actually discouraged,” she continued. “And I have conversations with teachers in other content areas who say that they themselves never read books, that they don't think it's important for students' long-term success. All this said, it is not entirely surprising that high schoolers don't wanna read.”

How does reading benefit kids?

The significant decrease in the number of children who read for fun means that many will miss out on the incredible benefits of regularly curling up for a good book. Studies show that children who read for pleasure enjoy improved cognitive performance, language development, and academic achievement. Reading is also linked to fewer mental health problems, less screen time, and more sleep. Findings suggest that kids get the optimal benefits of reading when they do it for around 12 hours a week.



“You forgot empathy,” one commenter added. “People who read are better at empathizing because they have been able to put themselves in the shoes of others and learn about different perspectives, people, cultures, experiences.”

StillATeacher has seen these incredible benefits first-hand.

“But I'm telling you, the handful of kids I teach who do read are built different. Kids who read have stronger critical thinking skills, more success across all academic areas, and, honestly, just a stronger sense of self. Because reading helps you figure out who you are as a person,” the teacher said.

The decline in young people's reading is a serious problem that must be addressed. So, it’s terrific that the teacher used her platform on TikTok to bring it to the public’s attention. Interestingly enough, she says that TikTok is one of the few platforms encouraging kids to read.

“And honestly, thank goodness for BookTok because I think it is one of the only drivers of adolescent reading that still exists,” she concluded her post. “Isn't that sad? Like, the schools aren't doing it, TikTok's doing it. We gotta start a movement here.”

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Non-Americans are sharing the ‘dead giveaway’ someone is American and they are pretty right

The dead giveaway is when they call me "honey" or "sweetie" or "darling."

via Flickr, Flickr, and Flickr

Three American tourists enjoying the sights.


One of the most interesting things about traveling the world is noticing how people from your country are a bit different from the place you’re visiting. In America, you’re mostly around fellow countrymen so it’s hard to notice the things that make us stand out.

But when you travel abroad, you quickly notice that no matter how hard you try to blend in, there are a lot of dead giveaways that show people you’re from the States that go way beyond your accent.

A Reddit user named ILoveTallWomen asked the online forum, “Non-Americans of Reddit, what is a dead giveaway that somebody is American?” to see what they think makes us stand out. “I'm not American and am curious about what other foreigners think,” they added.

There was one answer that people in the thread repeated over and over again—Americans are very friendly people.

Countless commenters noted that Americans will approach anyone and start up a conversation. As a person from the U.S., I think that’s a positive stereotype. There’s nothing wrong with being overly friendly.

​People also noted that Americans tend to carry themselves with a lot of confidence and have an abundance of infectious enthusiasm.

On the negative side of things, a lot of people also noted that Americans are loud and have questionable fashion sense. We stand out abroad because we love staying comfortable by wearing white socks and sneakers on just about any occasion.

Maybe we’re happy because our feet don’t hurt?

Here are 17 of the best responses to the dead giveaways that someone is American.

Upworthy Podcast: Dead Giveaways Someone is American

On a recent episode of Upworthy Weekly, hosts Alison Rosen and Tod Perry discuss the internet's hottest, most uplifting and most amusing topics, including dead giveaways a traveler is American.

1.

The most popular poster shared a list:

  • Wearing sneakers with anything
  • Big smiles, firm handshakes
  • Lots of Northface products
  • Renting Segways for sightseeing tours (sometimes using those on cobblestone)
  • Using big adjectives generously ("Wow, your aunt's kidney stones sound awesome!", "This Euroshopper beer tastes great!")
  • Clapping and cheering
  • Telling one's whole life story within 15 minutes of meeting them
  • Loving stories and narratives in general (which makes them fun companions) — [Deleted]

2.

"Apart from the accent? Mostly its the 'prepared for anything' look they have about them (fanny pack, backpack, bottled water, camera pouch) compared to various other tourists - Asians tend to herd together for safety, while Europeans vary between blend-right-in Scandinavian to designer-brands-everywhere French and traffic-laws-are-for-others Italian. But Americans are the only ones who seem to view a perfectly civilised, modern city like some kind of uncharted jungle that doesn't have places to shelter in the rain or buy cheap bottled water." — Yorkshire_Pudden

3.

"Incredibly loud but incredibly friendly." — kevio17

4.

"I asked my wife (Japanese) she said 'In Japan I can spot Americans by the way they dress. Compared to Europeans, Americans tend to lack fashion sense.'" — RegionFree

5.

"When you can hear them before you see them." — C1t!zen_Erased

6.

"'On the streets they are instantly recognizable. They walk in an ugly indifferent manner, usually with their hands in their pockets. Or they're leaning against a pole or wall with a newspaper in their hand and gum in their mouth. According to the people who met them they are more human than the English, for example, whenever someone needs help they do it quicker and better than the English.' — My Grandpa in the Netherlands. In a letter to his sister. June 4th 1945." — MidnightWineRed

7.

"North Face jackets. I went to college in the US (I'm not American) and when I went home for my first winter break wearing my brand new North Face jacket my friend asked me if I was given American citizenship with the purchase." — merbonobo

8.

"I'm English, but I've lived here for 14 years. It's pretty obvious just from your demeanour. Americans generally are more confident in the way they present themselves, most other countries tend to be more reserved. Walk into a room full of different nationalities, I guarantee the American person will be the first to introduce themselves. It's a confidence thing, and I admire it." — zerbey

9.

"When I was visiting Germany in college, a girl said to me, 'Do you know how I know you're an American? You wear white socks.' Needless to say, I haven't worn white socks since." — ars3nal

10.

"We (Americans) describe distances in driving time, as opposed to miles or kilometers. My European relatives always make fun of me for having no clue how far away the next town is, but knowing exactly how long it takes to get there." — hbombs86

11.

"Canadian here...the dead giveaway is when they call me 'honey' or 'sweetie' or 'darling.' I fucking love Americans and I love those terms of endearment!" — AraEnzeru

12.

"Dead giveaway: They're surprised we can drink a beer (or any alcohol) in public in my country." — P1r4nha

13.

"European here ... there's a noticeable trend among Americans to wear jeans, t-shirts, and hooded sweaters when they're abroad. Lots of branded goods too (North Face, A&F, Hollister, Ed Hardy mostly). And in summer, a great percentage of the cargo-shorts-wearers are Americans. But among all that, visible tattoos on otherwise 'normal-looking' people (i.e. not looking like street thugs) are a common indicator too. Americans love tats." — I_AM_A_IDIOT_AMA

14.

"In WWII, my grandpa's company had a problem with German spies. At night the guards could not tell if intruders were returning patrols or enemy soldiers; especially since the spies spoke with flawless American accents. Before opening the gates, they tried asking questions like "What's the capital of Nebraska?" but it didn't always work since the Germans were highly trained and could answer most of the trivia questions. Finally, they stumbled upon a simple but effective test. They would ask them to sing the 4th verse of the Star-Spangled Banner. He told me 'If they start singing, then you shoot 'em. No American knows the 4th verse.' Turns out the whole song had been included in one of the German espionage training manuals." -- [Deleted]

15.

"They ask you what you do." — Askalotl

16.

"They say 'like' a lot and seem to start sentences with 'so' for no apparent reason. Good bunch, though." — [Deleted]

17.

"MM/DD/YYYY." — dusmeyedin


This article originally appeared last year.

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Comedian responds perfectly after Olympic breakdancer 'Raygun' shuts down her parody musical

The Olympic breakdancer threatened legal action but the comedian is getting the last laugh.

Jerm Gonzalo|Pexels and Canva

Olympic breakdancer gets musical canceled, comedian responds

Do you remember that one time breakdancing was an Olympic sport? It was short lived so if you blinked during the 2024 Paris Olympics you might have missed it. But even if you didn't see the Olympics at all, there was no escaping seeing Rachael Gunn, an Australian breakdancer that goes by the name Raygun. The breakdancer went mega viral for her interesting choices during her dance battle on the world stage.

Clips from her big moment where she did the now infamous kangaroo hop and pushed herself in a circle on the floor circulated the internet. Not only did the Aussie accidentally become a meme but she was impersonated on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. The backlash was so overwhelming from people around the world that Gunn issued an apology to the breakdancing community in Australia.

While mocking someone's abilities is considered bad form, people still find the dance moves Gunn performed at the Olympics to be amusing. This has lead to other people impersonating the dancer and one of them is a fellow Aussie, comedian Steph Broadbridge. The woman wrote "Raygun: The Musical" and was set to perform the one woman show for $10 per ticket at a local Australian venue until the breakdancer caught wind of it.

Paris Breaking GIF by NoireSTEMinistGiphy

It was then that Broadbridge found her comedic musical facing legal notice from Gunn barring her from performing her show. The letter came at an inopportune time as she was already in dress rehearsal having sold tickets to see the musical. Typically celebrities don't legally object to smaller artists poking fun at them in an impersonation, even if they're not happy about it. But Gunn may not see herself in a celebrity light which may help explain the unexpected reaction.

Broadbridge could've gotten upset or went on with the show forcing Raygun to sue, instead she decided to poke fun at the entire situation with a little dry humor. In a video on her Instagram page, Broadbridge announces the unfortunate news to her fans.

Olympics Breaking GIF by NoireSTEMinistGiphy

"I'm comedian Steph Broadbridge just hanging out in my casual day wear," the woman says as she's clearly wearing the same outfit the Olympic breakdancer wore during her dance battle. "My trail show tonight for 'Raygun: The Musical' has been canceled. Raygun's lawyers got in touch with the venue and threatened legal action so we will be refunding everyone their $10 back for that."

Obviously, Broadbridge was not putting on a full length high budget Broadway musical but that didn't stop the breakdancer from putting a halt to it. The comedian shares a surprising revelation in her announcement saying, "her lawyers trademarked my poster which is flattering, I hope they have fun with that. And they're also worried that I was damaging her brand, which I would never do. She doesn't need me to do that."


The entire video is done in deadpan which made it made the one liners pack a little more of a punch, especially when she reveals that she was told she wasn't permitted to hop like a kangaroo.

"They also said I wasn't allowed to do the dance because she owns the kangaroo dance, that one did puzzle me, I mean that's an Olympic level dance. How would I possibly be able to do that without any formal breakdance training," Broadbridge asks.

The comedian's fans were supportive of Broadbridge but were a bit miffed about Gunn putting a halt to the show with one writing, "I heard that the proceeds from the tickets sold for this were going to charity to help women and children facing homelessness. It makes it even worse that Raygun and her lawyers would still pursue this."


Another person encourages the comedian saying, "This will be amazing publicity. Just need to get it to all the news outlets."

Someone else chimes in, "Steph, this is Olympic level PR parody. How did you do this without any formal training?"

If you want to see the musical, don't worry. Broadbridge doesn't sound like she's giving up anytime soon. The Australian is planning to get around the complaint by changing the name of the main character to "Raigun" so there's no confusion. And while the letter from the breakdancers lawyers say Gunn owns the kangaroo dance, that may be something that is challenged by a court of kangaroos...a kangaroo court if you will–pun intended.

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Man's seemingly obvious 'dishwasher hack' is blowing everyone's minds

One man’s observation about his dishwasher may change the way you do dishes forever.

via Mike McLoughlin/Twitter

Mike McLoughlan realized something very important about his dishwasher.

No one likes doing the dishes, but the tedious chore is made much easier when using a dishwasher. However, an alarming amount of people have reported that their dishwashers can actually make the job harder because they don't properly fit their dishes.

And that's where Twitter user Mike McLoughlin (@zuroph) comes in. McLoughlin made an observation about his dishwasher that would change the way he does dishes forever. For a decade, the Irishman thought that the bottom rack of his washer simply was too small for his large dinner plates. Then he made an amazing discovery:

The tweet went totally viral, and was shared over 14,000 times. He even tweeted a picture to show just how much he could fit in the dishwasher now that he knows the racks are adjustable:

The "hack" (is it still called a hack if the appliance is doing what it is supposed to be doing?) blew people's minds:

But other people were basically like, "Seriously, dude?"

While a group of others tried to one-up McLoughlin with stories of their own:


Okay, go on and check your own dishwasher. You know you want to.


This article first appeared six years ago.

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Animals & Wildlife

The oldest whales on the planet are more ancient than 'Moby-Dick' and have the harpoons to prove it

Wow... just wow.

Image from Pixabay.

Under the sea...

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You're probably familiar with the literary classic "Moby-Dick." But in case you're not, here's the gist: Moby Dick is the name of a huge albino sperm whale. (Get your mind outta the gutter.)

There's this dude named Captain Ahab who really really hates the whale, and he goes absolutely bonkers in his quest to hunt and kill it, and then everything is awful and we all die unsatisfied with our shared sad existence and — oops, spoilers!


OK, technically, the narrator Ishmael survives. So it's actually a happy ending (kind of)!

whales, Moby Dick, poaching endangered species

Illustration from an early edition of Moby-Dick

Image from Wikimedia Commons.

Basically, it's a famous book about revenge and obsession that was published back in 1851, and it's really, really long.

It's chock-full of beautiful passages and dense symbolism and deep thematic resonance and all those good things that earned it a top spot in the musty canon of important literature.

There's also a lot of mundane descriptions about the whaling trade as well (like, a lot). That's because it came out back when commercial whaling was still a thing we did.

conservation, ocean water conservation

A non-albino mother and baby sperm whale.

Photo by Gabriel Barathieu/Wikipedia.

In fact, humans used to hunt more than 50,000 whales each year to use for oil, meat, baleen, and oil. (Yes, I wrote oil twice.) Then, in 1946, the International Whaling Commission stepped in and said "Hey, wait a minute, guys. There's only a few handful of these majestic creatures left in the entire world, so maybe we should try to not kill them anymore?"

And even then, commercial whaling was still legal in some parts of the world until as recently as 1986.

International Whaling Commission, harpoons

Tail in the water.

Whale's tail pale ale GIF via GoPro/YouTube

And yet by some miracle, there are whales who were born before "Moby-Dick" was published that are still alive today.

What are the odds of that? Honestly it's hard to calculate since we can't exactly swim up to a bowhead and say, "Hey, how old are you?" and expect a response. (Also that's a rude question — jeez.)

Thanks to some thoughtful collaboration between researchers and traditional Inupiat whalers (who are still allowed to hunt for survival), scientists have used amino acids in the eyes of whales and harpoon fragments lodged in their carcasses to determine the age of these enormous animals — and they found at least three bowhead whales who were living prior to 1850.

Granted those are bowheads, not sperm whales like the fictional Moby Dick, (and none of them are albino, I think), but still. Pretty amazing, huh?

whale blubber, blue whales, extinction

This bowhead is presumably in adolescence, given its apparent underwater moping.

GIF via National Geographic.

This is a particularly remarkable feat considering that the entire species was dwindling near extinction.

Barring these few centenarian leviathans, most of the whales still kickin' it today are between 20 and 70 years old. That's because most whale populations were reduced to 10% or less of their numbers between the 18th and 20th centuries, thanks to a few over-eager hunters (and by a few, I mean all of them).

Today, sperm whales are considered one of the most populous species of massive marine mammals; bowheads, on the other hand, are still in trouble, despite a 20% increase in population since the mid-1980s. Makes those few elderly bowheads that much more impressive, huh?

population, Arctic, Great Australian Blight

Southern Right Whales hangin' with a paddleboarder in the Great Australian Bight.

GIF via Jaimen Hudson.

Unfortunately, just as things are looking up, these wonderful whales are in trouble once again.

We might not need to worry our real-life Captain Ahabs anymore, but our big aquatic buddies are still being threatened by industrialization — namely, from oil drilling in the Arctic and the Great Australian Bight.

In the off-chance that companies like Shell and BP manage not to spill millions of gallons of harmful crude oil into the water, the act of drilling alone is likely to maim or kill millions of animals, and the supposedly-safer sonic blasting will blow out their eardrums or worse.

This influx of industrialization also affects their migratory patterns — threatening not only the humans who depend on them, but also the entire marine ecosystem.

And I mean, c'mon — who would want to hurt this adorable face?

social responsibility, nature, extinction

BOOP.

Image from Pixabay.

Whales might be large and long-living. But they still need our help to survive.

If you want another whale to make it to his two-hundred-and-eleventy-first birthday (which you should because I hear they throw great parties), then sign this petition to protect the waters from Big Oil and other industrial threats.

I guarantee Moby Dick will appreciate it.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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