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Education

Brain researcher reveals the fundamental persuasion rule to get people to do what you want

Don't start with the details.

persuasion, john medina, steve jobs
via LinkedIn Sales Solutions/Unsplash

A salesman showing a client the big picture.

So you’ve got a great idea for a Hawaiian vacation you want to sell to your spouse, but you’re not entirely sure they’ll go along with the idea. If you want to know the best way to sell them on the trip, you should follow the advice of John Medina, a brain researcher and professor who wrote the “Brain Rules” series of books.

In "Brain Rules," Medina argues that the best way to persuade someone is to show them the big picture first. "Don't start with details," he writes. “Start with key ideas and, hierarchically, form the details around these larger notions."

So, instead of starting the conversation with the fact that your buddy Rick at work has a brother who has an AirBnB in Waikiki and can get you a place to stay for $125 a night. Or, kicking off the pitch by outlining a deal on Aloha Airlines where if you fly on Thursday mornings from a specific airport, you can save 37% on a round-trip flight to Honolulu.

Start with a big-picture idea. “Did you know we can spend a week in Hawaii for under 2 grand?”

The rule is based on a fundamental neuroscientific truth: The brain craves meaning before detail.

neuroscience, brains, persuasionThe human brain. via Curtis Cripe/Flickr

Medina argues that humans need to feel a connection to the story before they are willing to pay attention to the details. “Normally, if we don’t know the gist—the meaning—of information, we are unlikely to pay attention to its details. The brain selects meaning-laden information for further processing and leaves the rest alone,” Medina writes in his book.

Communication coach and Harvard instructor Carmine Gallo says the rule is rooted in human evolution. "When primitive man ran into a tiger, he did not ask, how many teeth does the tiger have? Instead, it asked, will it eat me? If you want your team to get behind a new initiative, give them the big picture first,” Gallo said in a keynote address.

The great thing about this rule is that it has many different applications, from interpersonal relationships to business to social media. Gallo says that when trying to persuade someone, we should consider sharing our ideas as if they were tweets. “The big picture, however, must be short. I like to keep the top-level message no longer than a Twitter post of 140 characters,” he writes.

steve jobs, apple, iPhoneSteve Jobs shows off iPhone 4 at the 2010 Worldwide Developers Conference.via Matthew Yohe/Wikimedia Commons

Steve Jobs did a great job selling Apple products by introducing them with a simple, big-picture idea that enticed people to pay attention. He started with the big picture when introducing the iPhone in 2007. "Today, Apple is going to reinvent the phone,” he said. “The iPhone is a revolutionary and magical product that is literally five years ahead of any other mobile phone."

On a deeper level, the rule is all about understanding a simple part of human nature. You must have a compelling story from someone to want to listen to you, follow your lead, or change their mind. But once you have them hooked on the big picture, convincing them of the details is a piece of cake.

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Pop Culture

Brit shares the one-word 'dead giveaway' that American actors are doing an English accent

There's one word they never get right.

via Warner Bros Discovery

Peter Dinklage on "Game of Thrones?

When it comes to actors doing accents across the pond, some Americans are known for their great British accents, such as Natalie Portman ("The Other Boleyn Girl"), Robert Downey, Jr. ("Sherlock Homes"), and Meryl Streep ("The Iron Lady").

Some have taken a lot of heat for their cartoonish or just plain weird-sounding British accents, Dick Van Dyke ("Mary Poppins"), Kevin Costner ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") and Keanu Reeves ("Bram Stoker's Dracula").

Some actors, such as Tom Hardy (“The Drop”) and Hugh Laurie (“House”), have American accents so good that people have no idea they are British.

Benedict Townsend, a London-based comedian and host of the “Scroll Deep” podcast, says there is one word that American actors playing characters with a British accent never get right. And no, it’s not the word “Schedule,” which British people pronounce the entire first 3 letters, and Americans boil down to 2. And it’s not “aluminum,” which British and American people seem to pronounce every stinking letter differently.

@benedicttown

The one word American actors aways get wrong when doing an English accent

What word do American actors always get wrong when they do British accents?

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American. One word that always trips them up. And once you notice it, you can't stop noticing it,” Townsend says. “You would see this lot in ‘Game of Thrones’ and the word that would always trip them up was ‘daughter.’”

Townsend adds that when British people say “daughter,” they pronounce it like the word “door” or “door-tah.” Meanwhile, Americans, even when they are putting on a British accent, say it like “dah-ter.”

“So top tip if you are an actor trying to do an English accent, daughter like a door. Like you're opening a door,” Townsend says.



What word do British actors always get wrong when doing American accents?

Some American commenters returned the favor by sharing the word that British actors never get right when using American accents: “Anything.”

"I can always tell a Brit playing an American by the word anything. An American would say en-ee-thing. Brits say it ena-thing,” Dreaming_of_Gaea wrote. "The dead giveaway for English people playing Americans: ‘Anything.’ Brits always say ‘EH-nuh-thin,’” marliemagill added.

"I can always tell an actor is English playing an American when they say ‘anything.’ English people always say it like ‘enny-thin,’” mkmason wrote.



What is the cot-caught merger?

One commenter noted that the problem goes back to the cot-caught merger, when Americans in the western US and Canadians began to merge different sounds into one. People on the East Coast and in Britain pronounce them as different sounds.

“Depending on where you live, you might be thinking one of two things right now: Of course, ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound exactly the same! or There’s no way that ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound the same!” Laura McGrath writes at DoYouReadMe. “As a result, although the different spellings remain, the vowel sounds in the words cot/caught, nod/gnawed, stock/stalk are identical for some English speakers and not for others.”

American actors owe Townsend a debt of gratitude for pointing out the one thing that even the best can’t seem to get right. He should also give the commenters a tip of the cap for sharing the big word that British people have trouble with when doing an American accent. Now, if we could just get through to Ewan McGregor and tell him that even though he is fantastic in so many films, his American accent still needs a lot of work.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Parenting

A mom had the best response after a neighbor complained about her toddler's sidewalk chalk

Well done.

via AktivierungsCoach-Geier/Pixabay

Sidewalk chalk incenses nosey neighbor.

No neighborhood would be complete without that one neighbor who complains about the pettiest things. The big problem comes when you live in a shared building or have a homeowner's association where that nosey neighbor has the power to make your life miserable.

Ashley Woodfolk, a young adult fiction writer in Brooklyn, couldn't believe that someone in her co-op complained about her toddler writing in sidewalk chalk in the courtyard of her building.

For those who live outside of New York City, a co-op is a type of housing where each resident is a shareholder in a corporation and pays for their living area based on its size. Co-ops usually have a committee or board that meets to handle issues that arise in the building.

It's incredible to believe that someone would be so shallow that they'd complain about a toddler drawing in sidewalk chalk. All it takes is a hose or a light rain and the chalk will disappear forever.

Woodfolk was incensed that someone would make such a complaint. So she decided to apologize to the woman by writing a massive letter in the courtyard using sidewalk chalk.

"This will be my last time using sidewalk chalk in the courtyard since it seems to be such a problem for you (and only for you). I'm sorry harmless fun that brought my toddler joy (and has actually helped him learned all of his letters and most of his numbers –– his favorites are E and 8) causes you so much distress that you had to complain to the board and waste everyone's time when our building has much bigger real problems.

"I think you're aware that we're in a pandemic and while I'd love to take my kid to museums and the movies I don't feel safe doing that, and sometimes even local parks are more crowded than I'm comfortable with. The courtyard was a safe space but now there are limits on that too. There only a few weeks of nice weather left, and I sincerely hope you enjoy the use of the sidewalk-chalk free courtyard for the remainder of the fall. And I hope that every time it rains, rain that would have washed away any colorful ABCs I wrote on the ground, you think of me."

All my love, Ashley."

To make sure she got her message across, she also left a letter for the woman in the lobby of the building.


The woman got the message.



Woodfolk doesn't blame the board for having to hear about the complaint. She assumes they heard about it multiple times and had to give her the news because they didn't want to be harassed.



Let's hope that Woodfolk's dramatic reaction teaches the woman, and anyone else who wants to make petty complaints, that they should think twice before reporting someone to the board. They just might get a taste of their own pettiness in a glorious way.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Pets

Research shows why you should always pet your dog before leaving the house

via Pixabay

One of the most wonderful things about having a dog is how attached they become to their owners. I work from home and my Jack Russel terrier, Scout, lies next to me on his bed for most of the day. The only time he leaves my office is for a sip of water or to go outside and sun his belly on the porch.

That's why whenever I leave the house and can't take Scout with me, I wonder, "Does he miss me? Is he sad that he's alone?" Studies show that our dogs miss us the moment we leave the house and that feeling slowly intensifies until we are gone for about four hours and they have a "plateau of melancholy." That's why the longer you're away, the more excited your dog is when you return home.

The moment I pull up in my car Scout begins to howl like a wolf trying to contact someone who's miles away. It's like, "Dude, I'm 30 feet away. Give me a second to grab the groceries out of the trunk."

Researchers from the Universities of Pisa and Perugia, Italy have found that if you give your dog some affection before you leave the house they'll have less anxiety while you're away.

They conducted experiments with 10 dogs between the ages of one and 11 without attachment issues. The group was composed of seven mixed-breed dogs, one Labrador retriever, one Hovawart, and one Chihuahua.

Participants in the study walked their leashed dogs into a fenced area where they were greeted by a researcher who took their dog's heart rate. In the first test, after the owners walked their dogs into the area, they talked with a researcher for one minute then left without giving the dog any special attention.

In the second test, the dog owners petted the dog during their interaction with the researcher.

In both tests, the owners left the fenced area and hid far enough away so that the dog couldn't smell them.

After the owners left, the dogs looked for them for about three minutes on average. After the owners returned, the researchers measured the dogs' levels of the stress hormone cortisol as well as their heart rates.

The researchers found that whether the dogs were petted or not, their cortisol levels were unchanged. But their heart rate showed a marked decrease if the owners petted them before leaving. Researchers later watched videos of the dogs and found that the ones that were petted showed " behaviors indicative of calmness for a longer period while waiting for the owner's return."

Next time I'm ready to leave the house and Scout follows me to the front door after saying, "Sorry bud, you can't go with me on this trip," I'll kneel down and give him a little extra love and attention.

Maybe that way he won't howl like the house is on fire when I pull up in my car after a trip to the grocery store.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Guy shares what happened when he accidentally 'sexted' his boss at work

This gives performance reports a whole new meaning.

Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash
woman holding iPhone during daytime

Write text. Hit send. Heart sinks because WHOOPS, actually sent that text to the wrong person. Most of us have had some version of this. Maybe you're sharing shady memes about a buddy and accidentally text it to that buddy. Perhaps you send a "Please pick up some wine after work" note to your kid's kindergarten teacher.

But one guy on Reddit took the cringe-level up a notch when he, completely by mistake, sexted his boss. One minute, he's chilling on his couch, thinking he's crafted the perfect sexy text to the woman he recently started seeing. The next moment, upon realization that his boss was the recipient, he describes his "soul leave his body."

The million dollar question is, what did he write? Here it is: "I can't stop thinking about you. I swear if I was there, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you."

Giphy

Now we all know it could have been a lot worse. But he explains, "I freaked out so hard, I almost threw my phone across the room." Panic set in. Of course, he tried to recall the message, but it was too late. Then he thought his next logical step was obviously, "Well, I guess I have to quit my job!"

Ten endless minutes goes by and DING. His boss texts back. Will he be mocked? Worse, will he be fired? But instead, his boss writes (somewhat mercifully) "Uh…I don't think this was meant for me."


This doesn't totally quell his anxiety. He messages back, " OMG sorry, wrong number, haha, you know how it is, LOL!" But after no further communication, he's a bit unsure about his job security.

burt lancaster GIFGiphy

Many in the comment section try to put him at ease. One person suggests, " Just laugh it off when you see them, assuming they have some kind of sense of humor. 'Oh hey, sorry about the message thing. Hope I didn't get your hopes up' or 'last time I take advice online about how to get a promotion."

Another Redditor suggests he take it more seriously. " Eh. I'd say offer a sincere apology first, take it seriously because it is indeed a serious slip in today's culture. Going straight to 'laughing it off' can give the appearance that you're reckless. Offer a genuine apology, and he will most likely let you off the hook."

man iphone GIF by NRK P3Giphy

Another agrees with this approach, "Don’t make a joke about it, just say sorry it was meant for someone else and you made a mistake. Making a joke about it is taking a gamble. You don’t need to save face, it was just a mistake."

Still, most of the comments encourage him not to stress, with the hopes that his supervisor has the wit to handle it. One adds the positive spin, "You gave him a funny story to tell his friends this weekend. You’re fine, try not to stress about it. It might even open up an avenue for you and your boss to bond a little bit over a hilarious mix-up and the dating scene."

The best piece of advice comes from someone who actually was the boss in a similar scenario. He writes, " I have had an employee do this to me. My name has a female counterpart that's pretty close, got the text at 2:00 a.m. something along the lines of 'I miss you. I happen to be up', I replied with, 'wrong person, drink some water. We'll see you in the morning.' Point is I wouldn't worry about it."

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People are shared the one American non-president they’d add to Mount Rushmore

Who would you choose?

via Wikimedia Commons

Mount Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota.

Sculptor Gutzon Borglum designed the Mount Rushmore National Memorial and oversaw the project's execution from 1927 to 1941. The sculptor also chose the four presidents who are carved into granite on the mountain’s face. He selected the four presidents to represent the nation's birth (George Washington), growth (Thomas Jefferson), development (Theodore Roosevelt) and preservation (Abraham Lincoln).

Since the faces on Mount Rushmore were first chiseled into granite there have been debates over which presidents also deserve to be on the monument. Two years ago, then-President Donald Trump floated the idea that he deserved to have his face carved in granite.

A Reddit user posed an interesting question to the online forum about the famous monument and it sparked a great conversation. “You get to add another American to Mt. Rushmore but it can’t be a president. Who do you choose?”

That’s a tough question to answer but a fun one to ponder. What criteria does one use to choose the greatest American that ever lived who wasn’t a president? More than 545 million people have lived in the country over the past 244 years. How do we choose one?

Do you select someone from the world of sports, science, the arts, literature, civil rights, religion, military or healthcare? What about someone who performed a heroic deed?

To rank the responses on the Reddit post, I looked at the number of upvotes each suggestion received and then ranked them. It’s not the most scientific way of doing things but it gives us a pretty good idea about who people think should make it to the monument.

Here are the top 20 most popular responses to the burning question: “Which non-president should be added to Mount Rushmore?”

1. 

"Dr. Jonas Salk. Saved us all from polio." — Barefoot_Alvin

2.

"There is already a non-president on Mt. Rushmore. John Cena." — zoqforpik

The Reddit user is clearly referencing the wrestler's catchphrase.

3.

"Dolly Parton." — Airos42

4.

"Mr. Rogers." — PitchforkJoe

5.

"Mark Twain. The quintessential American writer. We always put up statues of military and politicians across this country. It would be nice to see more of our creative side get honored. Put up Poe on the mountain. Attract goths to the site." — inksmudgedhands

6.


"Martin Luther King Jr." — bahamuto

7.

"How is Nicolas Cage not here yet?" — deus_vult

8.

"John Wilkes Booth but he's further back behind Lincoln." — Jakovosol0

9.

"Benjamin Franklin." — FinnbarMcBride

10.

"Sacagawea." — bivalve_connisseur

11.

"Homer Simpson." — EonClaw

12.

"Bob Ross." — j-oats

13.

"Weird Al." — OntarioLakeside

14.

"Frederick Douglass." — kade22

15.

"Betty White." — Diatrial

16.

The person who started the thread chimed in with their nominee.

"Neil Armstrong would be my number one." — taint_licking_clown

17.

"Harriet Tubman." — 44cksSake

18.

"Ronnie James Dio!" — kevinthegeek21

19.

"Maria Darlene Pearson or Hai-Mecha Eunka (lit. 'Running Moccasins') (July 12, 1932 – May 23, 2003) was an activist who successfully challenged the legal treatment of Native American human remains. A member of the Turtle Clan of the Yankton Sioux which is a federally recognized tribe of Yankton Dakota, she was one of the primary catalysts for the creation of the Native American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act (NAGPRA). Her actions led to her being called 'the Founding Mother of the modern Indian repatriation movement' and 'the Rosa Parks of NAGPRA." — CTeam19

20.

"Danny DeVito." — distantshadow

This article originally appeared three years ago.


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