upworthy
Pop Culture

What is 'body grief'? Women share what it's like to mourn their former selves.

Watching our bodies change is a natural part of life. But we rarely talk about the complicated feelings that come from that.

body grief
@aleahelizabeth/TikTok,@sami.rose/TikTok

We've all been through it.

It was only yesterday when a friend and I (two women in the 30-to-40-year-old range) were having a conversation, and this friend made more than one wistful comment about being “skinny and sexy” once upon a time.

Her self deprecating jokes were so casual and nonchalant that actual sadness underneath was almost unnoticeable. Almost.

Except I did notice it, because I have it too. That same sense of unease at being a different size that my former younger self. I have it, my friend has it, and nearly every adult woman has it to some degree.

Now we even have a name for it—”body grief.”

Author Jayne Mattingly, who first coined the term, defines body grief as “the universal experience of disillusionment, sorrow, and loss that comes with simply existing in a body.”

Body grief basically sums up all the anger, loss, frustration, sorrow, and general sense of mourning that so many women feel from the “loss” of their former body, and the former self it represents.

@jayneimattingly Replying to @olivepfox i am so happy you are here!!! #bodygrief #disabledtiktok #bodygriever #disabledhumour ♬ original sound - Jayne Mattingly

Body grief can manifest in a myriad of ways—growing older, having children, chronic illness or injury, disability, reactions to medications, huge life changes, trauma, stress. And while it often denotes weight gain, plenty of women who lose a lot of weight can feel body grief too.

Sami Rose, an Australian-based counselor and body image coach, spoke about her own challenges with body grief, especially after reaching her goal weight, then gaining the weight back.

“I’d spent all of my teens and all of my 20s having this number in my head, and this body in my head, that I thought was gonna solve all of my problems,” she said.

@sami.rose_ Replying to @eneesece letting go of the thin ideal can be really difficult, and its okay to miss your old body or old life, but i hope this strategy helps shift your perspective 💖 #bodyacceptance #bodygrief #bodyimagecounsellor #counsellor #bodyimagecoach ♬ original sound - Sami Rose • Counsellor + Coach

After losing about 55 pounds, getting all the compliments from her friends, even being told that her abs were “goals,” Rose was still left with the same insecurities. For her, body grief meant “letting go of the thin ideal” and “griev[ing] the notion of what a good body meant to me.”

Rose’s experience is not uncommon. Countless women are sharing their stories of body grief in a new TikTok trend titled #bodygrief, which has reached nearly 880,000 views.

Women like Aleah Elizabeth, who went from being “super skinny” most of her life to gaining 60-70 pounds after taking birth control.

@aleahhelizabeth Its hard ass thing to go through #gainingweight #beingskinny #fy ♬ original sound - aleahelizabeth💗

“I thought I was gonna be a happy girl because the boys like girls who are thick,” she said. “But as I kept gaining the weight, I literally hated my body more and more and more…And then you gain so much weight and everybody around you notices it and talks about it, and then starts to make you feel bad about it. It is the worst thing I think I ever went through in my life.”

Or Eliana Hope, who, two months into postpartum, cried in an REI store after realizing “the body that used to take me up mountain trails is now stretched and loose in all the places it used to be strong.”

@thesamfamm 2 months PP and feeling like it today… Outdoorsy moms, tell me it gets better? #outdoorsymom #nationalparks #rei #parksproject #newmom #youngmoms #bodygrief #postpartumbody #bodyimagestruggles #bodyafterbabies #hikinggirl #girlswhohike @rei @thesamfamm ♬ Into the wild - Cartwright

Honestly, the list goes on and on.

@stancedexcoaching How body grief came up on vacation. Please please check out @Jayne Mattingly for more on Body Grief! #bodygrief #perceptionvsreality #bodieschange #bodieschangeworthdoesnt #bodygriefwithjaynemattingly #vacation #familyvacation #hardtime ♬ original sound - Stance Dex Dreyfus
@madialysefitness you have to remember there is a happier and fuller life out there. #bodygrief #weightgainjourney #bodyacceptance #setpointweight #harecovery #hormoneimbalance #edrecoceey ♬ The Journey - Sol Rising
@olivepfox Some thoughts on body grief and reconciling disability #crps #crpsawareness #complexregionalpainsyndrome #crpswarrior #chronicpain #disabled ♬ original sound - olive fox

And just what are we supposed to do about this body grief? For starters, Rose suggests writing down a list of all the things you appreciate about yourself that are completely unrelated to your body.

“I think that can be really special in just rebuilding your identity and proving to yourself that you’re more than just a body,” she says. “That your appearance is a part of you, but it’s not the most important part of you.”

But also, like with all forms of grief, sometimes sharing what you’re going through in a safe space with other people who have been through it, or are going through it too, really helps you process those difficult feelings. And that’s why this TikTok movement is so important. No one should have to go through it alone.

From Your Site Articles
community
Internet

A nail salon made an ad so funny that people are taking road trips just for a manicure

Nailed it.

Representative photos by Wonderlane|Flickr and Aris Leoven|Canva

This Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there and, without word of mouth recommendations from people you trust, it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. Thanks to social media, though, many businesses have pages where they can advertise their services without having to spend a lot of money on traditional marketing practices like television, billboards, and radio. Doing their marketing using pictures and videos of their amazing work can help keep a steady flow of customers coming—but one Canadian nail salon is going with a slightly different approach.

Henry Pro Nails in Toronto, Canada is leaving the Internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video takes the beginnings of several viral video clips but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in completing the viral moment in hilarious different ways.

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns, flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry seamlessly appears laid out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "Come to my nail salon. Your nails will look beautiful."

nails, nail salon, manicure, henry's pro nails, adsRihanna Nails GIFGiphy

In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative and people in the comments can't get enough. Some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now Internet famous top nail artist in Canada. This isn't Henry's first rodeo making creative ads, but this is one is without a doubt his most popular—and effective.

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a road trip! My bf and I are legit getting ours and its only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately made all other places disappointing and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.

To keep up with demand, in late October 2024 Henry's announced another location was coming soon in Vaughan, Ontario. Though there's no word on when the new "more spacious and professional facility" is opening just yet, customers can keep an eye out for Henry's next ad on social media.

It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but great service is what gets them to come back. If you're ever in Toronto (or Vaughan!) and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
nail salon
Identity

Tennis icon Billie Jean King is making history again—and we’re all crying happy tears

She's receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Flickr

Billie Jean King, the icon

In the world of professional tennis, Billie Jean King is a superstar. Known for her tenacity on and off the court, she’s a 39-time Grand Slam champion who’s been smashing glass ceilings and challenging the status quo for over half a century.

And no, not the kind of challenging her colleague John McEnroe is known for.


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Billie Jean King’s legacy is greater than tennis. Beyond her world No. 1 ranking and whopping 129 singles titles, she’s a trailblazer who refused to stay silent in the face of rampant discrimination. For nearly 50 years, she’s fought relentlessly for gender equality and LGBTQ+ rights in a sport that was—and still is—widely considered to be a “boys club.” It’s fitting in recognition of her groundbreaking contributions to tennis and social justice, that Billie Jean King will receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Monday, April 7th in the Sports Entertainment category, becoming the first woman to receive that honor.

Battle of the sexes

Let's talk numbers for a second: 39 Grand Slam titles. Six-time world #1 ranking. Twenty Wimbledon championships. But for Billie Jean King, these achievements are just the tip of the iceberg. When she began competing professionally in 1959, tennis was a very different sport, especially when it came to equal pay. And by the time King started winning tournaments, it dawned on her just how drastic that inequality was. When she won Rome’s Foro Italico tournament in 1970, the men’s winner, Ilie Nastase, took home $3,500. Billie Jean King, on the other hand? A measly $600. “Everyone thinks women should be thrilled when we get crumbs, and I want women to have the cake, the icing, and the cherry on top, too,” she later commented. In 1973, she threatened to boycott the US Open for unequal pay. That year, the US Open became the first Grand Slam tournament to institute equal prize money. (For Wimbledon, that moment wouldn’t come until 2007—over three decades later—when Venus Williams penned a now-famous op-ed column.)


sports, tennis, black and white photo, Billie Jean King, Bobby Riggs, press, interview, battle The infamous "Battle of the Sexes:Flickr

Still, there was work to be done. In 1973, she faced off against Bobby Riggs in the iconic “Battle of the Sexes,” taking on the 55-year-old former tennis pro who had a penchant for making sexist and misogynistic remarks about female athletes. Staged at the Houston Astrodome, the “Battle of the Sexes” was watched by over 90 million viewers worldwide—all of whom witnessed an absolute beatdown. She defeated Riggs in straight sets. Later, she commented, “I thought it would set us back 50 years if I didn’t win that match...It would ruin the women’s tour and affect all women’s self-esteem.” King would later continue to break boundaries when she became one of the first professional athletes to come out as gay in 1981—a move that could potentially destroy her brand sponsorships and the public’s positive opinion of her. Yet, she lived her truth and continues to be a champion for equal rights to this day.

A force to be reckoned with

The Walk of Fame star ceremony is set for April 7th. Radio personality Ellen K will emcee, with Jamie Lee Curtis and Magic Johnson as guest speakers. When King received the news that she would be honored with a star, she wrote on Facebook, "As a native of Southern California, it is a dream come true.”

Billie Jean King, Billie Jean, tennis, tennis legend, starThis star represents so much Wikimedia Commons

This star represents so much and goes beyond tennis or athletic achievement. It’s a true testament to King’s global impact: she founded the Women’s Tennis Association and Women’s Sports Foundation. She received the Presidential Medal of Freedom and has been inducted into many Halls of Fame to name. In 2018, she won the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Lifetime Achievement Award. She also received a Congressional Gold Medal in 2024. And now, her legacy will be further cemented—literally—forever on the Walk of Fame. Here’s to BJK, the athlete, activist, and icon.

billie jean king
Animals & Wildlife

Why have we domesticated some animals but not others? It comes down to four F's.

An entertaining video explains why we can't ride zebras or breed "war bears."

Photo credit: Canva

Horses were domesticated over 5,000 years ago. Zebras, never.

Humans have domesticated several kinds of animals over the millennia, from trusty horses and mules to livestock for milk and meat to our favorite furry companions. But why those specific animals and not others? What is it that led us to those particular choices? Why can we ride horses but not zebras? Why don't we purposefully breed "war bears" to fight for us?

That last question comes straight from the always-interesting and often-hilarious CGP Grey, whose YouTube videos explore all kinds of things we wonder about but don't necessarily take the time to research. In the video "Why Some Animals Can't Be Domesticated," Grey explains the four main elements that make an animal a good candidate for domestication, which excludes bears (and many others) from the list.

Grey alliterated the four elements to make them easier to remember: Friendly, Feedable, Fecund, and Family-Friendly. Let's dig into what those mean.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Domestication requirement #1: Friendly

This one is fairly self-explanatory, but basically an animal has to not post an inherent, immediate threat. We have to be able to catch them if we're going to domesticate them, so that eliminates all of the "carnivores whose day job is murder" as Grey puts it, as well as the large, nervous prey animals that are too afraid of us to let us get anywhere near them.

wild animals, domesticated animals, gazelleGood luck trying to catch a gazelle.Photo credit: Canva

Domestication requirement #2: Feedable

Every animals is feedable, of course, but that doesn't mean it's easy or cheap to feed them, especially in large numbers. This category pretty much eliminates pure carnivores and some omnivores, leaving mostly herbivores (and some unpicky omnivores) that are easy and cheap to feed. And that aren't dangerous (see #1).

wild animals, domesticated animals, chickens, chicken feedChickens will eat just about anything.Photo credit: Canva

Domestication requirement #3: Fecund

This requirement is all about breeding and babies. Some animals are extremely slow to breed, like pandas and elephants, making them undesirable candidates for domestication. Animals that have mate frequently and have relatively short gestation times and/or large litters are more suited to domesticated life. They also need to grow up quickly, which also takes elephants out of the pool.

However, as Grey points out, humans can still tame other animals like elephants. But taming is not the same as domesticating. The basic rule is: If it's on a farm, it's domesticated. If it's in a circus, it's tamed.

Domestication requirement #4: Family-friendly

This is where the horses and zebras question comes in. Horses were domesticated in Eurasia, but if humans started in Africa, why weren't zebras domesticated first? Grey explains that while horses tend to live in hierarchical herds, zebra are more independent with no family structure. Humans can capture the lead male horse and get the rest of the herd to fall in line. Zebra herds are more of a free-for-all and they're kind of jerks to even one another.

horses, zebras, domesticated animals, wild animalsThere's actually a big difference between horses and zebras besides just the stripes.Photo credit: Canva

Barnyard animals have inherent family structures that humans have figured out how to fit into. These animals learn to see the humans who own them as a lead cow or top chicken or whatever.

Way back in the hunter-gatherer age, when humans were just figuring out animal domestication, animals had to have all four of these requirements. Today, we have the ability and technology to domesticate more animals if we want to, but we also have less of a need to. Some breeds of foxes have recently been domesticated, bred to be friendly with humans. How fun would it be to have a pet fox?

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Technically, a lot more animals could be domesticated if people really wanted to put in multiple human lifetimes of time and effort, but why?

You can follow CGP Grey on YouTube for more fun and informative videos.

From Your Site Articles
animals
Community

Principal ditches office for "rolling desk" to be more present with students

"The best ability is availability."

principal_lamb/Instagram

Principal Jared Lamb uses a rolling cart for a mobile principal's office.

The principal's office is a place of childhood lore. Getting sent to there growing up was never a good sign. But one school principal is ditching the intimidating location for a more approachable one.

Principal Jared Lamb (@principal_lamb) of BASIS Ed school in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, has taken an unconventional spin on his role as a school administrator. Rather than sit in an office all day, he has traded his desk for a rolling cart. The reason? To be more of an active (and visible) presence around school.

"The best ability is availability," he captioned a video on Instagram explaining why he won't "go back to the office". In the video, he says, "At our school, students don't get sent to the principal's office. The principal comes to them. I traded my principal's office for a rolling cart."

He is seen in the video wheeling his cart around the school's hallways, adding that there are 5 reasons why he won't be going back to a traditional office.

"It's easier to provide customer service to our educators," he says. "Need a restroom break? I got you. Support with an upset parent? I'm here." The second reason: "I can support with student behavior because I'm right around the corner." Thirdly, "I have a pulse on what's happening at school. When challenges arise...and they always do...I can address them firsthand."

The fourth reason is that, "It's improved my relationships. I check in with every teacher and staff member daily. I give hundreds of fist bumps to students each day." Finally, he shares the fifth reason he ditched the office: "I'm more proactive and less reactive. I don't wait to get called on the radio. I'm already there. Principal's office? No thank you. My best ability is availability."

In an interview with PEOPLE magazine, Principal Lamb shared that he has been using the rolling cart for three years to support over 800 students. "This upcoming year will mark my third year of going fully mobile," he said. "I truly believe that I can make the biggest impact by walking across the campus and being visible throughout the school."

His main goal? Visibility. "I spend most of my day visible," he said. "I walk in and out of classrooms. If I need to respond to an email, I do it from an empty hallway while students are in class." He adds, "During major transitions, I'll often park my cart underneath a stairwell on the side just to make sure that I'm not walking traffic. So you do have to maneuver, especially during big student transitions, so I'm not stopping the flow or preventing students from getting to class, but we navigate the best we can."

And his method has spread. Now, his entire administrative team also uses rolling carts. "We literally had a fleet of carts rolling through the school, and so our deans were on rolling carts, our assistant principals were on rolling carts," he shared. "It's really created just a great environment of leading with support and making sure that our teachers and students have what they need to be successful."

Principal Lamb's video garnered incredible support from viewers and parents alike. "This is such a fantastic way to lead a school. 🙌🏻," one wrote. Another added, "Can this be standard in our education system? Well done, sir. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻." Another viewers shared, "The mobile office demonstrates so many positive leadership qualities! Creativity, flexibility, relationships, vision, empathy and on and on! Thanks for inspiring us all."

From Your Site Articles
principal
Love Stories

WW2 lovers were separated after a blind date cut short, so she drew a map of where to find her

Their unbelievable love story was recorded in hundreds of love letters found by their grandson.

@crewdoyle/TikTok

Where can we watch this movie?

There’s just something about romance stories from WWII that feel like they all belong on the big screen. Looking back on a time of so much urgency and impermanence, those fleeting moments of connection seem even more poignant. It’s truly a testament to the power of love itself, and its ability to withstand even the most unimaginable strife and conflict.

Many of us might carry the love stories of our own parents and grandparents from his era, but for those that don’t, read on. And honestly, even those that do will want to hear this touching tale.

In a truly tear-jerking series posted to TikTok, Drew Coyle shared how he discovered hundreds of heartfelt letters sent by his grandmother Helen to his grandfather Bill, which chronicle their epic love story—from a brief, yet potent blind date, to a promise that took years to fulfill.

@crewdoyle The start of a WW2 love story - Mañana: A Pacific Romance
♬ Last Hope (Over Slowed + Reverb) - Steve Ralph

Bill and Helen first met on December 7, 1944 while both were stationed in the Phillipines— Bill, a traveling sailor, and Hellen, volunteering as a Red Cross "doughnut girl.” That night, enough sparks flew on the dance floor that they made a promise to see each other the next morning. Or as they called it, their “mañana.”


ww2 stories, ww2 romance, ww2 romance novel, ww2 history, ww2 letters, love letters, love stories, romanceA photo of Helen and Bill in their uniformsImages provided by Drew Coyle

But keeping that mañana promise, as it turned out, wouldn’t be so easy. Helen was unexpectedly relocated to Guam the next day, where she stayed in a hut without a telephone, and any messages left at the front desk didn’t always get transferred to their recipient. Still, the young woman was determined to maintain their connection through the letters.

Below are some of the deeply poetic words she wrote in letter #75, which would end up being particularly pivotal in their love story.

@crewdoyle A lonely girl draws him a map 😭
♬ Peaceful Sincerity - Pemancing Biru


“We’re in this together, my dearest…we’re moving forward, hand in hand…haven’t we already proven to our own satisfaction that we walk in the same path at the same speed with the same reactions? And haven’t we already found that there’s a kiss at the end of the walk?

I’m more content than I’ve been in ages…I feel as if I were on the brink of one of life’s greatest adventures, and it is in my nature to be eager when something new and strange and powerful presents itself.

‘Wishing will make it so’ has become my theme song ever since yesterday when I learned it was yours with two of us wishing it will be so. I am reminded of the words of a man I once knew. He insisted that two people were stronger than anything, stronger than one, or three, or five people. Perhaps he was right, let's make it so and prove the point.


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Helen assured Bill that though they were apart, that he “needn’t worry” about any dancing partners stealing her away on the new island, because “they’re always you,” and urged him to “not give up” on finding her.

She even drew him a map detailing where she was located. It just so happened to include a nearby chapel.

ww2 stories, ww2 romance, ww2 romance novel, ww2 history, ww2 letters, love letters, love stories, romanceThe map provided by Helen to Bill@crewdoyle/TikTok

To think, without that letter, their story might have been cut short. But clearly it worked, because here we have their grandson retelling the story 80 years later. As Coyle wrote on his website, “Helen's innocent act to initiate correspondence caused a ripple effect that would change not only their lives, but lead to me.”

ww2 stories, ww2 romance, ww2 romance novel, ww2 history, ww2 letters, love letters, love stories, romanceHelen and Bill, happy and and content, and oh so in love. Image from Drew Coyle

Passionate to spread their story even further, Coyle created a coffee table book, aptly named Mañana: A Pacific Romance, which you can pre-order here.

In a time of online dating, text messaging, and seemingly very little time to get beyond a “love you honey,” this feels especially heartwarming. What would happen if we engaged in just a portion of thoughtful loving expressions as Helen and Bill had? Would we too feel as though our partnerships were fated? Is this type of romance purely a product of the time period, and something we’d never be able to replicate in a world of modern convenience? These are all ponderous questions without answer, but one thing feels crystal clear: love is indeed a great adventure, if we choose to answer the call.

Follow Drew Coyle on TikTok to hear him read even more of those wonderful letters.

From Your Site Articles
history
Trending Stories