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Badass bikers show up for abused children, offering advocacy and protection

They become an abused child's "biker family," and they let the child—and everyone else—know that NO ONE messes with their family.

Badass bikers show up for abused children, offering advocacy and protection

Bikers Against Child Abuse/YouTube

When you are a child who has been abused by people who are supposed to protect you, how do you feel safe?

That question is the heart of Bikers Against Child Abuse International (B.A.C.A.), an organization dedicated to creating "a safer environment for abused children." With specific training and extensive security checks, the frequently big and burly members of B.A.C.A. serve as protectors of chid abuse survivors, giving vulnerable children people to call on when they feel scared, and even showing up in court when a child asks them to.

In short, they become an abused child's "biker family," and they let the child—and everyone else—know that no one messes with their family.

As the B.A.C.A. mission statement says:

"We exist as a body of Bikers to empower children to not feel afraid of the world in which they live. We stand ready to lend support to our wounded friends by involving them with an established, united organization. We work in conjunction with local and state officials who are already in place to protect children. We desire to send a clear message to all involved with the abused child that this child is part of our organization, and that we are prepared to lend our physical and emotional support to them by affiliation, and our physical presence. We stand at the ready to shield these children from further abuse. We do not condone the use of violence or physical force in any manner, however, if circumstances arise such that we are the only obstacle preventing a child from further abuse, we stand ready to be that obstacle."

B.A.C.A. members do whatever they can to make abused kids feel safe, which is huge for children who have been hurt, especially by the adults who are supposed to love and protect them.

First, they set up an initial ride to welcome a child into the biker family. Kids are offered a vest and a patch, which they have the option of accepting or not—there's never pressure put on a child. They take a photograph with the child, which the child keeps to remind them that they have family to call on whenever they feel afraid. They serve as escorts when kids feel frightened to go somewhere. They show up at court hearings to help kids feel less intimidated. They come to kids' houses when called to help support the family or serve as a deterrent for further abuse.

Though B.A.C.A. absolutely does not physically confront perpetrators, simply their presence provides the message that a child has a band of protectors behind them. Watch these bikers in action:

2019 Bikers Against Child Abuse International informational video. Visit www.bacaworld.org or find us on Facebook - Bikers Against Child Abuse International

And check out the B.A.C.A creed to see how dedicated these folks are to this work:

"I am a Member of Bikers Against Child Abuse. The die has been cast. The decision has been made. I have stepped over the line. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past has prepared me, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by the faith in my works, and lean on the strength of my brothers and sisters. I love with patience, live by prayer, and labor with power.

My fate is set, my gait is fast, my goal is the ultimate safety of children. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are tried and true, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and showed up for all wounded children. I must go until I drop, ride until I give out, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me, for He will see my B.A.C.A. backpatch and know that I am one of His. I am a Member of Bikers Against Child Abuse, and this is my creed."

This article originally appeared on 03.05.20

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We asked people what they really enjoy that others can't understand. One answer dominated.

Interestingly, research shows that these people are particularly unlikely to be neurotic.

Canva

Some people really enjoy being alone.

We recently asked our Upworthy audience on Facebook, "What's something that you really enjoy that other people can't seem to understand?" and over 1,700 people weighed in. Some people shared things like housework, cleaning and laundry, which a lot of people see as chores. Others shared different puzzles or forms of art they like doing, and still others shared things like long car rides or grocery shopping.

But one answer dominated the list of responses. It came in various wordings, but by far the most common answer to the question was "silent solitude." Here are a few examples:

"Feeling perfectly content, when I’m all alone."

"Being home. Alone. In silence."

"That I enjoy being alone and my soul is at peace in the silence. I don't need to be around others to feel content, and it takes me days to recharge from being overstimulated after having an eventful day surrounded by others."

"Enjoying your own company. Being alone isn’t isolating oneself. It’s intentional peace and healthy… especially for deep feelers/thinkers."

Spending time by ourselves is something some of us relish, while some of us hate being alone. Naturally, this points to the common theory of introversion vs. extraversion, but in some ways, that's overly simplistic. Even the most peopley people among us can enjoy some quality alone time, and not all introverts see time alone as truly enjoyable. (It might be necessary for an introvert's well-being, but not necessarily something they truly revel in.)

Interesting, studies have found that people who enjoy being alone are not any more or less extraverted than those who don't, though they do tend to be less "sociable." They are also less likely to be neurotic (tense, moody, worrying types) than the generally population and more likely to be open-minded. Those characteristics are the opposite of what social norms often tell us about people who want to be alone.

"If our stereotypes about people who like being alone were true, then we should find that they are neurotic and closed-minded. In fact, just the opposite is true," writes Bella DePaulo, PhD.

There may be lots of reasons some people like to spend time by themselves while others don't. We are naturally social creatures and need social interaction, but some of us find ourselves overstimulated by being around other people all the time. On the flip side, some people find being alone not just unenjoyable, but extremely uncomfortable, which can be a problem.

"Ideally, we should be comfortable with ourselves, alone or with others," writes psychologist Tara Well Ph.D.. "If you are uncomfortable being alone, it means you are uncomfortable being with yourself without distraction, engagement, or affirmation from others. This can be a liability in life. If you cannot be alone, you may stay in situations or make life choices that aren’t good for you in the long run, like staying in a job or a relationship, mainly because you can’t tolerate being alone while transitioning to a better situation."

Dr. Well also points out that people can make the most of their alone time, even if it's not something they naturally enjoy. One way is to make it purposeful, setting aside a little time daily to write in a journal, meditate, go for a walk or otherwise engage your mind and body in some form of reflection. Another is to pay attention to self-judgments that might make alone time uncomfortable and challenge them with some compassionate confrontation and counteraction with positive thoughts about yourself.

Alone time can be refreshing and rewarding, especially if it's something you naturally crave. Some people even like to take themselves out on dates or enjoy traveling by themselves. That kind of self-care can be just as important as connecting with others for our overall health and well-being. Being alone doesn't mean being a loner and it doesn't mean being lonely. Some of us genuinely like having quality time with ourselves, whether it makes sense to other people or not.

This article originally appeared last year.

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An over 30-year-old interview with Randy Savage is going viral because of his awesome take on masculinity

"I've cried a thousand times and I'm gonna cry some more."

"Macho Man'" Randy Savage during a 1992 appearance on "The Arsenio Hall Show."

A surprisingly wholesome video clip of the late iconic professional wrestler "Macho Man" Randy Savage went viral in 2022 for the surprisingly vulnerable answer he gave when asked if he ever cries.

The 1992 interview with Arsenio Hall began with Hall joking that Savage's middle name is 'Macho,' and asking if he ever cried. If you're not familiar with professional wrestling in the 1980s and early '90s, it was common for the biggest names of the day—Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Ultimate Warrior, Mr. Perfect and, of course, Macho Man—to take on personas that often embodied what we might now call "toxic masculinity." Many of them were after all what they call "heels," in wrestling circles, aka the bad guys.

So, it was pretty surprising to see the downright deep and wholesome response Savage gave to Hall without hesitation.

"It's OK for macho men to show every emotion available," Savage says in the clip. "I've cried a thousand times and I'm gonna cry some more."

This explanation of macho men being able to show all emotions was probably just as relevant then as it is now. The notion that it's not just OK, but completely normal and acceptable for men to cry goes against everything that some masculine norms have told boys from a young age. Not being able to express authentic emotions outside of anger can lead to mental health issues in men.

Watch the full clip below:

"I've soared with the eagles, I've slithered with the snakes and I've been everywhere in between," Savage continued. "Understand this: Nobody likes a quitter. Nobody said life was easy. So, if you get knocked down, take the standing eight count, get back up and fight again!"

As a public figure that boys, teens, and young men looked up to, it was pretty incredible to see Savage appear on national television and dispel the myth that tough guys don't cry and then take it one step further by proudly stating that he himself had cried "a thousand times" was powerful.

While this interview was filmed in the '90s, boys and men today are still fighting against the cultural norm of the hyper-masculine male image that includes bottling up emotions and not asking for help. All men experience a range of emotions, including sadness, because men are people and Macho Man is here to remind everyone it's OK to cry. Even when you're "macho."

This article originally appeared three years ago.

How 7 things that have nothing to do with rape perfectly illustrate the concept of consent.

Well this is all a very brilliant way to show what it's all about.

mage from Everyday Feminism, used with permission by creator Alli Kirkham.

There are many different scenarios where consent is necessary.

In 2013, Zerlina Maxwell ignited a firestorm of controversy when she strongly recommended we stop telling women how to not get raped.

Here are her words, from the transcript of her appearance on Sean Hannity's show:

"I don't think that we should be telling women anything. I think we should be telling men not to rape women and start the conversation there with prevention."

So essentially—instead of teaching women how to avoid rape, let's raise boys specifically to not rape.

There was a lot of ire raised from that idea. Maxwell was on the receiving end of a deluge of online harassment and threats because of her ideas. The backlash was egregious, but sadly, it's nothing new. Such reactions are sadly common for outspoken women on the Internet.

People assumed it meant she was labeling all boys as potential rapists or that every man has a rape-monster he carries inside him unless we quell it from the beginning.

But the truth is most of the rapes women experience are perpetrated by people they know and trust. So, fully educating boys during their formative years about what constitutes consent and why it's important to practice explicitly asking for consent could potentially eradicate a large swath of acquaintance rape. It's not a condemnation on their character or gender, but an extra set of tools to help young men approach sex without damaging themselves or anyone else.

screenshot from Hannity show

Zerlina Maxwell is interviewed on "Hannity."

Image from “Hannity."

But what does teaching boys about consent really look like in action?

Well, there's the viral letter I wrote to my teen titled "Son, It's Okay If You Don't Get Laid Tonight" explaining his responsibility in the matter. I wanted to show by example that Maxwell's words weren't about shaming or blaming boys who'd done nothing wrong yet, but about giving them a road map to navigate their sexual encounters ahead.

There are also rape prevention campaigns on many college campuses, aiming to reach young men right at the heart of where acquaintance rape is so prevalent. The 2014 movement, "It's On Us," was backed by The White House and widely welcomed by many young men.

And then there are creative endeavors to find the right metaphors and combination of words to get people to shake off their acceptance of cultural norms and see rape culture clearly.

This is brilliant:

comics that illustrate consent

A comic about different types of consent.

Image from Everyday Feminism, used with permission by creator Alli Kirkham.

There you have it. Seven comparisons that anyone can use to show how simple and logical the idea of consent really is. Consent culture is on its way because more and more people are sharing these ideas and getting people to think critically. How can we not share an idea whose time has come?

This article originally appeared ten years ago.

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Delivery driver's reaction to snacks left for him shows how a little kindness goes a long way

'Seeing a grown man get so excited about Capri Sun is extra wholesome.'

via Toni Barnett/TikTok

"Dee" the delivery guy stoked to get some Doritos.

Sometimes the smallest gesture can change someone’s day for the better, especially when that act of kindness lets them know their work is appreciated. During the pandemic, delivery drivers have done a fantastic job keeping people healthy, so Toni Hillison Barnett told KKCO News 11 that she and her husband started a tradition of leaving snacks for their drivers on the front porch around 2020.

The Barnetts, who live in Louisville, Kentucky, can see the drivers' reactions by recording them on their doorbell cameras. “I live for reactions like this to our snack cart! Thx to all of the delivery drivers out there! We appreciate you!” Toni wrote on an Instagram post.

Recently, one of the Barnetts’ delivery guys, a joyous fellow that we believe is known as Dee, went viral on TikTok because of his positive reaction to receiving some snacks during his deliveries. The snacks are tasty, no doubt. But it’s also wonderful to feel appreciated. After Toni posted the video, it received more than 100,000 views.

“Oh my God, you guys are the best, I gotta take a snapshot of this,” Dee can be heard saying in the video. “Oh, Capri Suns are my favorite. Yes!”

@toniraebarnett
Snacks for our delivery drivers. This reaction might be one of the best! #snackcart #fyp #ups #nestcam #christmas #delivery #foryou

“Seeing a grown man get so excited about Capri Sun is extra wholesome," abigailbaet wrote on the TikTok post.

A fellow delivery driver explained the reason why he probably appreciated the gift so much: "I'm a delivery driver and so far had one house to do this … it was the best. Half the time we don't have time for a break and work 10+ hours," Michelle Mumpower wrote.

Dee returned for another delivery and found more snacks waiting for him. The follow-up video received more than 400,000 views.

“Thank you! Oh yes, no way, we’re back again with the Capri Sun,” he continued. “I think this is where I went viral, isn’t it? You guys are awesome. Thank you. Doritos … Thank you, have a great day. Thank you for making me go viral.”

@toniraebarnett
Replying to @itskatiepatton Dee is back again and we had the @caprisun waiting! TY tiktok for making this awesome @ups driver go viral!! The world needs more of his energy & attitude! 🤍 #snackcart #ups #caprisun #wholesome #fyp #foryoupage #christmas

The driver may have found out that the video was popular after a friend told him she saw it on the platform. “That’s my friend Dee!!!! He’s the best,” Katie wrote.

“Oh I'm so glad you commented! I was hoping someone would claim him! What an awesome vibe he has!! Tell him I'll keep the @Caprisun stocked!” Toni responded.

According to NBC News 11, the family has been giving out snacks to delivery drivers for the past three years as a thank-you for all of the hard work they’ve done since the beginning of the pandemic.

It’s touching to see a kind gesture of appreciation be accepted with such glee. It’s also wonderful that the videos have been seen by so many people, because they’re a wonderful reminder for all of us to show our appreciation to the people that are the backbone of our communities. As the Barnetts have shown us, sometimes a small gesture can make a big difference. Oh yeah, and be sure to stock some Capri Suns while you’re at it, just in case Dee is working in your neighborhood.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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New mom films emotional message on her last day of maternity leave with twins

"I just don't feel ready physically and mentally."

Unsplash

Taking time off after having a baby is full of paradoxes. It can be strange, and a little boring and monotonous. It's jarring, especially for a busy career-oriented person, to suddenly be at home all the time doing laundry, dishes, and taking the occasional stroller walk. There's a part of you that gets restless and can't wait for it to be over. And that's why it's weird when dread kicks in the moment you realize your leave is almost up.

For many mothers, it can be hard to let go of that time with your baby — time you never really get back. Or, in some cases, babies.

One new mom of twins recently discussed the complicated emotions she was feeling on her very last day of maternity leave.

person's hand holding baby feet Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

TikTok user Marissa Jeanne couldn't hold back her tears as she held her babies and tried to describe the emotional toll she was facing on the eve of her return to work.

“Today is my last day of maternity leave, and I go back to work tomorrow. And I just feel like I haven't had enough time with them," she began bluntly.

“I know I got longer than a lot of women get with three months, but I just don't feel ready physically and mentally. I feel like there's so much that you think that you are going to do on maternity leave. I think you're going to accomplish so many things and do so many things with your babies. And then here I am at the end and I'm like, ‘I didn't do any of that,' but I feel like I did do a lot of this and that's one of the most important things,” she says of cuddling her sleeping babies.

“I think the hardest part is it's just like such an abrupt change that you're with your babies all the time, and then you pick them up from daycare and you might just get a few hours with them. So that's just such an abrupt change, and it's really hard.”

Moms often get pigeonholed once their babies come into the world. People assure them that their priorities will shift and they'll probably stop caring about their career (a bias sometimes called the 'maternal wall' that causes all kinds of problems when it comes to hindering moms in their work). Marissa perfectly explained how it's possible, and quite common, to want both things at once — even if it's hard.

“I also love my career. I am proud of what I do, but there's always that mom guilt of you're not giving enough time to your kids, but you can't do it all. You can't give 100% to everything. I think that's something important to remember,” she says.

“I just feel so honored to be their mom and to have gotten the past three months with them. So I'm really grateful for that. For all the working moms out there, you're amazing. Yeah, you can't do it all, but you're doing the best that you can for your kids and that's all that matters.”

Watch the whole video from Marissa's TikTok here:

@marissa_jeanne
Last day of maternity leave and I am a mess. There’s nothing that prepares you for this day in your postpartum journey. #maternityleave #maternityleaveover #postpartumjourney #pospartum #3monthspostpartum #backtowork #workingmom #workingmoms #workingmomstruggles #twinmom

People in the comments were quick to point out: It doesn't have to be this way.

"Maternity leave in the US is way too short," one user wrote.

"Our instincts want us to say with the babies," said another.

"This breaks my heart! It's so unnatural for a mom to be separated from her tiny babies," added another user.

One person noted that since Marissa had twins, she should technically get double the time off. Hard to argue that one!

Other users were quick to share examples of how parental leave in other countries puts the US to shame.

In Germany, parents can take up to three years of leave without losing their jobs! It's unpaid, but parents may apply for an allowance from the government during that time, even if they had no prior income.

In Romania, parents are entitled to 126 days of leave at 85% of their prior pay.

Maternity leave in the UK can be up to a whopping 52 weeks, with 39 of those weeks being paid (starting at 90% of their average earnings and decreasing after 6 weeks). Canada? 15 weeks of paid leave (at only 55% pay, but still!) and an additional unpaid 35 weeks after that.

When you list it out like that, 3 months of unpaid leave is absolutely pathetic. But as Marissa's reaction points out, it's not just the pay.

First, there's the physical toll. Recovering from giving birth could take 6-8 weeks at a minimum, but probably much, much longer. So we're sending moms back to work when they've just barely gotten back on their feet.

And then, even worse, there's the emotional. When your babies are just a few weeks old, you're still deep in the bonding phase, and it's unimaginably jarring to have to cut it so short and drop them off at daycare so you can go back to work so soon. Plus, about 15% of moms will have postpartum depression, which can last for several years. And a whopping 85% will deal with the "baby blues" — hormonal fluctuations that occur after giving birth for several weeks and cause anxiety, crying, and temporary depression.

Most people would agree that 3 months is just really fast to be separated from brand new babies.

It's just sad that moms who work don't get a choice. If you're not ready to go back in 3 months, there's no guarantee that you could extend your leave and keep your job. Even if your family could handle the financial strain of a longer unpaid leave period, it's just not an option for most people. It makes new parents feel cornered and scared, and frustrated by a system that's setting them up to fail.

Luckily, things are steadily getting a little bit better, with more states adopting paid leave policies and more individual employers getting on board. Let's keep the momentum going, because we've got a long way to go.

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