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Bars in Canada are using these artistic drink coasters to fight sexual assault.

You're at the bar with your friends. Over a couple of cold ones and maybe a handful of peanuts, you talk about sports, politics, and ... consent?

That's exactly what the four women behind Aisle 4, a "curatorial collective" based in Toronto, want to see more of in the world.

Shannon Linde and the other curators work with local artists to create socially-engaged artwork that lives in the real world, not on gallery walls. Finding a way to tackle the topic of women's safety in bars has been on their agenda for a while.

"This has come up quite a bit. I mean, we are four women," Linde says. "People making an effort to change the dangerous climate is not happening as quickly as you would expect."

Aisle 4: Emily Fitzpatrick, Patricia Ritacca, Renée van der Avoird, and Shannon Linde. All photos by Aisle 4, used with permission.

Aisle 4 worked with local artists in Toronto to design a series of eye-catching coasters that would spark conversations in bars around consent, harassment, and assault.

It's no secret any place where lots of alcohol is being consumed can be dangerous. From aggressive, leering Tinder dates, pushy would-be suitors, or even people following them home, women can face an absurd amount of peril for simply wanting to go out and have a drink.

The coaster project, called "On the Table," quietly reminds that "Consent matters" and implores people to "Listen to your gut."

Linde says she knows a coaster isn't going to deter an attacker, for example, but hopefully getting small groups of people talking about the issues openly will have a positive effect.

"A coaster can't change patriarchy but it can remind you that gender is fluid and empathy is imperative." By Hazel Meyer

There's been a bigger push recently to get bar and restaurant staff involved in the fight against harassment.

Plenty of establishments have been in the news lately for adopting "safe words," i.e. a woman can ask for "Angela" or order an "Angel shot" to alert the staff that she needs help.

Critics of these measures say they put the onus on someone to figure their own way out of a dangerous situations, rather than on the people who make them feel unsafe; they also point out that the code words won't do much good once everyone knows what they mean.

On the Table takes a different approach and, quite literally, lays the uncomfortable truth about safety out in the open.

"Consent matters. Listen to her." By Lido Pimienta

"What we're not attempting to do is enact massive social change," Linde says. "Because that's so unrealistic."

She says most of us live in a bit of a bubble, only talking about the important stuff with people we know agree with us. These coasters might be a chance to change that.

"Mostly men are surprised that I might have felt unsafe many times in the past month," she says. "I don't think it's as known what the experience of women is day to day."

"Men are allies." By Jesse Harris

So far, nine bars in the Toronto area have eagerly signed up to use the coasters. More will likely join the effort soon.

The coasters can't be found in the wild just yet (they're currently being printed and will be distributed soon), but Linde says the feedback on the campaign so far has been amazing, and unlike a lot of their work, it has completely transcended the art community.

"This is definitely the most far-reaching project we've done to date," she says.

"Listen to your gut." by Aisha Sasha John

It remains to be seen if the project will have the impact the women at Aisle 4 are hoping for.

But at least they've done their part by creatively trying to further an important conversation. Whether everyone chooses to listen ... that's the bigger question.

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Cycle for Survival
Cycle for Survival
Sponsored

How can riding a bike help beat cancer? Just ask Reid Moritz, 10-year-old survivor and leader of his own “wolfpack”

Every year, Reid and his pack participate in Cycle for Survival to help raise money for the rare cancer research that’s helped him and so many others. You can too.

all photos courtesy of Reid Moritz

Together, let’s help fuel the next big breakthrough in cancer research

True

There are many things that ten-year-old Reid Wolf Moritz loves. His family, making watches (yes, really), basketball, cars (especially Ferraris), collecting super, ultra-rare Pokémon cards…and putting the pedal to the medal at Cycle for Survival.

Cycle for Survival is the official rare cancer fundraising program of Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSK). One hundred percent of every dollar raised at Cycle for Survival events supports rare cancer research and lifesaving clinical trials at MSK.

At only two years old, Reid was diagnosed with pilocytic astrocytoma, a rare type of brain tumor.

Pediatric cancer research is severely underfunded. When standard treatments don't work, families rely on breakthrough clinical trials to give their children a real shot at long-term survival.

When Reid’s chemotherapy and brain surgery didn’t work, he was able to participate in one of MSK’s clinical trials, where he’s received some incredible results. “Memorial Sloan Kettering has done so much for me. It's just so nice how they did all this for me. They're just the best hospital ever,” Reid recalls.

And that’s why every year, you’ll find Reid with his team, aptly named Reid's Wolfpack, riding at Cycle for Survival. It’s just Reid’s way of paying it forward so that even more kids can have similar opportunities.

“I love sharing my story to inspire other kids to PERSEVERE, STAY STRONG and NEVER GIVE UP while also raising money for my amazing doctors and researchers to help other kids like me.”

Reid remembers the joy felt bouncing on his father’s shoulder and hearing the crowd cheer during his first Cycle for Survival ride. As he can attest, each fundraising event feels more like a party, with plenty of dancing, singing and celebrating.

Hoping to spread more of that positivity, Reid and his family started the Cycle for Survival team, Reid’s Wolfpack, which has raised close to $750,000 over the past eight years. All that money goes directly to Reid’s Neuro-Oncology team at Memorial Sloan Kettering.

In addition to cheering on participants and raising good vibes at Cycle for Survival events, Reid even designs some pretty epic looking merch—like basketball shorts, jerseys, and hoodies—to help raise money.

If you’re looking to help kids just like Reid, and have a ton of fun doing it, you’re in luck. Cycle for Survival events are held at Equinox locations nationwide, and welcome experienced riders and complete newbies alike. You can even join Reid and his Wolfpack in select cities!

And if cycling in any form isn’t your thing, a little donation really does go a long way.

Together, let’s help fuel the next big breakthrough in cancer research. Find out more information by checking out cycleforsurvival.org or filling out this interest form.

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Popular

Millennial dad of 3 shuts down boomer parents for their 'ridiculous' holiday expectations

"Why is it that every time I have to make the effort for you, yet you can't do the most basic thing for me?”

via Canva/Photos

A Millennial dad has had it with his boomer dad's expectations.

A TikTok video posted by @carrerasfam is going viral, with over 300,000 views, because so many millennial parents can relate. In the video, a husband politely but firmly tells his “practically retired” baby boomer dad that he’s not taking his 3 young kids on a 400-mile drive to their house for the holidays.

Carerras Fam is a popular TikTok page about “all things postpartum and mamahood.” The husband opens the conversation with his dad by explaining all the inconveniences of taking 3 young kids on a long road trip. “I know you want us to drive down for the holidays, but it's kinda ridiculous that you want me to pack my 3 kids with their portable beds with my clothes, their clothes, the formula, everything that goes on with raising 3 kids and having them feel comfortable. Drive down for over four hours just so that we could spend some time in your house?” the husband says.

@carrerasfam

Sorry it’s just so much work. But you’re welcome to visit us #millennial #millennials #parents #parenting #parentsontiktok #boomers #millennials

It’s obviously inconvenient for the couple to pack up their kids and drive 4 hours, but it’s also unsafe because the house is not baby-proof. "I'm gonna have to run around, make sure that they don't break any of your stuff, and which you will take care of them,” the husband continues using sarcastic air quotes.

The dad brings up another great point: His parents are in good health, so why don’t they drive to their house? “You could visit. You don't have little kids,” the dad continues. “You don't have anything going on.

"Why is it that every time I have to make the effort for you, yet you can't do the most basic thing for me?”

It’s clear from the phone call the dad understands that traveling with the kids and staying in a house that isn’t correctly set up for young kids will make the holiday a struggle. Instead of making memories, they’ll most likely be running around bent over trying to save their kids from breaking something or hanging out at Target buying electrical socket plugs and a bottle brush because they left theirs at home.



The video struck a chord with many millennial parents.

“First holiday with a kid… parents are confused why I won’t drive 9 hours with a 3mnth old for Christmas,” too_many_catz writes. “The ‘not baby proofed’ part hit my soullllllll. It’s so stressful having to chase your kids around and ask to close doors, move pictures, block stairs, etc. And nobody takes you seriously!" OhHeyItsIndy added.

It’s also expensive for young families to travel. “Add to it they want us to spend money on gas, airfare, etc. when we live paycheck to paycheck and rent while they own homes and live comfortably off a pension,” another user wrote.

This one hit hard: “They always act like you're asking the world of them, yet they will willingly go on any other vacation that they choose,” Mackenzie Byrne wrote.

TX Travel Chick may have hit the nail on the head with her explanation for why boomer parents expect their children to road trip it to their house for the holidays. “Because we are used to following their orders!!! REVOLT,” she wrote.

Ultimately, it would be interesting to learn why boomer parents want to inconvenience their kids when it would be much easier for them to take a trip to see them, especially if they can afford a hotel. One wonders if they are being entitled or if they’ve forgotten how hard it is to travel with young kids.

Pop Culture

The Bee Gees a capella version of 'How Deep is Your Love' might be even better than the original

Only family can harmonize this well.

via Edu Seijas/YouTube

The Bee Gees singing "How Deep is Your Love" in 1998.

In 1998, the Bee Gees, brothers Barry, Robin and Maurice Gibb, stopped by ITV’s “Des O'Connor Tonight” with acoustic guitars in hand to promote their recent release, “One Night Only,” an album and live concert DVD featuring many of the band’s biggest hits.

The highlight of the performance was when Barry got ready to strum his guitar for a performance of “How Deep is Your Love,” the 1977 megahit from the “Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack,” but instead chose to sing the song a capella.

Barry starts the song solo in his beautiful falsetto, but then, when his brothers join him, they create a wonderful harmony that only brothers can make. The show’s host, Des O’Conner, a notable singer himself, even joins in for a few bars.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Earlier in the performance, the brothers played their version of “Islands in the Stream,” a song made famous by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rodgers in 1983 that was written by the Bee Gees. In 1998, the song was enjoying a resurgence as its melody was used in the song “Ghetto Superstar” by Pras of The Fugees.

Robin Gibb later admitted that the song was initially written for Marvin Gaye to sing, but he was tragically murdered in 1984 by his father. The band also had Diana Ross in mind while composing the tune.

During the appearance, the band also sang “Guilty,” a song that the Bee Gees wrote for Barbara Streisand and Barry produced in 1980.

You can watch the entire performance in the video below.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared in August

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Joy

They thought their son lived an isolated life. But when he died, friends showed up in droves.

Mats Steen's parents were shocked to learn their severely disabled son had lived a rich, independent life they knew nothing about.

Netflix/YouTube

Mats Steen lived a secret life that his family only discovered after he died.

Mats Steen was only 25 years old when he passed away, his body succumbing to the genetic disease that had slowly taken his mobility since childhood. He'd lived in a wheelchair since his early teens, and by his 20s, his physical abilities had deteriorated to the point of only being able to move his fingers. He could push buttons and use a mouse, and he spent nearly all of his waking hours playing video games in his parents' basement.

His family loved him and cared for him through it all, giving him as much of a normal life as they could. But they also lamented everything they knew he'd missed out on. "Our deepest sorrow lay in the fact that he would never experience friendships, love, or to make a difference in people's lives," Mats' father shares.

Mats left behind the password to a blog he kept. Not knowing if anyone would actually read it, his parents published the news of Mats' passing in a blog post, adding their email address in case anyone wanted to reach out.

Much to their surprise, messages began pouring in from around the world—not just with condolences, but with heartfelt stories from people who called Mats their friend.

The Steens soon discovered that their son had lived a much fuller life than they'd ever imagined—one that included all the things they always wished for him.

As his online life was revealed, the family learned that Mats began his days with a routine 30-minute sprint through the forest. He frequented cafes and pubs, chatting with strangers and flirting with women. He sat by campfires having heart-to-heart conversations. He made friends and enemies. He fought heroic battles. He supported people in times of need. He gave advice that people took. He experienced his first kiss.

And he did it all as "Ibelin," his handsome, muscular avatar in the online game World of Warcraft.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Mats' life is showcased in the documentary, "The Remarkable Life of Ibelin," in which his parents share the story of how they discovered their son's group of friends they didn't know he had.

People who've never played an open world roleplay game like World of Warcraft may wonder how real community can be built through it, but Mats' story proves it's possible. The friends he made through the game have shared the real influence he'd had on their real lives, from helping them with problems they were facing to empowering them to make positive changes in their relationships.

Though he never met them face-to-face, Mats' online friends say he made a significant impact on them.

A young woman Ibelin had connected with as a teenager—the one with whom he'd shared that first virtual kiss—shared that her parents had taken away her computer when they feared gaming was interfering with her studies. When she logged on at a local library, Mats gave her a letter he had written to give to her parents, encouraging them to talk with her about her gaming hobby and to work out a solution together that didn't require her to give it up completely. She printed it and gave it to them. Miraculously, it worked.

Another woman had been having a hard time connecting with her autistic son as a young adult. When she talked with Ibelin about her struggles, he suggested that she and her son start gaming together and connect in that way first. Eventually, that connection via the virtual world led to warmer in-person interactions between them—and a life-changing shift in their relationship.

"I don't think he was aware of the impact that he had done to a lot of people," the mother shared.

Mats interacted with the same online friends as Ibelin for years, going through the kinds of ups and downs all real friendships experience. He kept his physical condition a secret until close to the end of his life, when he finally opened up to another player who convinced him to share his reality with the others. Some traveled from other countries to attend his funeral, with one of them speaking on the group's behalf and a few of them serving as pallbearers. Those who knew Ibelin also held a memorial in-game at his virtual gravesite—a tradition that has spread beyond just his own guild.

Typically, we think of someone escaping the real world and spending hours a day playing video games as unhealthy, but for Mats, it was a lifeline. As Ibelin, Mats was able to have a level of independence and a rich social life that simply wasn't possible for him in the offline world—an uniquely modern phenomenon that technology and human creativity have made possible.

Mats' impact on his online community was real, and 10 years after his passing his impact is spreading even further.

Duchenne muscular dystrophy, the genetic disease that Mats lived with and ultimately died from, affects 300,000 boys worldwide. It only affects males and it has no cure. But CureDuchenne, a global nonprofit dedicated to funding and finding a cure, has partnered with Blizzard and World of Warcraft in Mats' honor. From now until January 7, 2025, World of Warcraft players can purchase a limited-edition pet fox named Reven ("fox" in Norwegian). The Reven Pack, which includes a transmog backpack and Reven’s Comfy Carrier, costs $20, with 100% of the purchase price being donated to CureDuchenne.

The Reven Pack on World of Warcraft—100% of purchase cost goes to the CureDuchenne foundation.World of Warcraft/CureDuchenne

“Mats Steen lived a life in World of Warcraft that he couldn’t in the real world as he fought Duchenne muscular dystrophy alongside his incredible family, who I’m proud to have met and fallen in love with,”said Holly Longdale, executive producer of World of Warcraft. “Working with CureDuchenne for our Charity Pet Program, in honor of Mats’ memory, allows us to harness the power of our phenomenal global community to bring meaningful impact to so many lives.”

You can learn more about Mats' story in the award-winning documentary, "The Remarkable Life of Ibelin," on Netflix and learn more about the CureDuchenne fundraising initiative with World of Warcraft here.

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Humor

People share the most hilariously out-of-touch advice given for saving money

'If you think gas is too expensive, just buy an electric car.'

Photo by Andre Taissin on Unsplash

People share out-of-touch money advice.

People have all sorts of advice on saving, and when doling it out, money experts often overlook those living paycheck to paycheck. I saw one of these experts on television recently saying people should have three separate savings accounts for their home expenses—one each for appliances, furniture and home repairs. These in addition to your emergency savings fund and likely your regular savings account. The advice, while acceptable for some, is comical for the rest of us. For even more hilarious money advice, people on Reddit came up with some doozies.

Reddit user u/Salazard260 posed the question "What's the most comically out of touch 'advice' you've been given by someone wealthier?" Most of the responses were eyebrow-raising, and if you've ever been poor—whether it be working poor or below poverty line poor—the advice was hilarious. User blezmalfoy said they were told, "That I need to buy several apartments and rent them out. Unfortunately, he did not tell me where to get money to buy several apartments." You do have to wonder, where does one simply get money to buy multiple apartments? Maybe the money tree our parents told us didn't exist is actually in a forest of other money trees and we just don't know it.

Remember the controversy several years ago when a financial advisor told millennials to stop buying coffees and avocado toast in order to afford purchasing a home? This approach may work for some people who might save a couple hundred dollars by the end of the year, but it's hardly enough to make a downpayment on a new house. It makes you wonder how much this person thinks lattes cost.

Screenshot from Reddit

The Lending Club reported that in June 2022, 61% of Americans were living paycheck to paycheck, and the Census Bureau states that 11.4% of Americans were living in poverty in 2020. People in these two categories don't have any room to save for a rainy day when they're focused on surviving until payday, so the advice given from people far removed from the poverty line can seem a little tone deaf.

In the Reddit thread, a commenter explained advice given to them when they complained of gas prices. "If you think gas is too expensive, just buy an electric car." They lamented, "If I'm unable to pay $50 for a tank of gas, I'm certainly not going to be able to buy a new car, whether it's electric or not."

Another user was told, "Start putting money away for retirement now asap!!" To which the commenter responded, "my brother in christ i cant even put money away for Christmas presents."

Screenshot from Reddit

The one that takes the cake is a commenter who revealed his college roommate said, “When your parents send you your allowance each month, just set a thousand aside each time.” I bet this commenter never thought to do that. Also, how much are wealthy people sending their kids to college with? The way prices are right now, my children will be sent off to college with a box of ramen and a crisp $5 bill.

The thread is full of real-life experience and responses that will make you chuckle, especially if you grew up less wealthy or are currently poor. Starting a business and buying rental property costs money, as does paying off all of your debt to free up money to save. It would seem that most people understand that concept and yet it appears to be lost if you're reading the encounters on Reddit.

Just know, if you truly want to save money, quit your job and take a six-month sabbatical to wait for the perfect idea to come to you. I'm kidding. Don't do that.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Art

Pottery artist leaves gorgeous, handmade bowls in random places for people to stumble upon

Imagine coming across one of these gorgeous gifts.

Sailing Adrift Studios/Instagram

Kim Press drops free art in random places for unsuspecting wanderers to find.

Imagine you're hiking out in the red rocks of Moab, Utah, or taking a stroll down the beach in Key West, Florida, when you come across a gorgeous piece of glazed pottery. No one is around, just a beautiful, hand-carved bowl sitting with an envelope next to it that reads:

FREE ART

This bowl was left here for someone to find and keep. If it doesn't speak to you, leave it for someone else to find, or take it and give it to a friend. I only ask that it be enjoyed, and if you like, you can let me know where it ends up. (Contact details inside.)

Love, Kim

Kim Press is an artist from Texas who shares her pieces under the name Sailing Adrift Studios. When she travels, she takes a piece with her to leave for a random, unsuspecting person to find. Lucky wanderers in 36 states and two countries have come across Press' pottery "free art drops" and gotten to take home an unexpected artistic treasure from their own travels.

And these aren't any old bowls. Check out how absolutely stunning these pieces are:

Press recently shared a video highlighting some of the pieces she's dropped, and every single one of them would be an incredible gift.

"To say that I am proud of these numbers is an understatement," she wrote. "In my wildest dreams, I could never imagine how much taking a pottery class and playing in mud would change my life…. And it just goes to show that if you travel far enough, eventually you will find yourself."

People who find Press' pottery let her know where the pieces ended up, and half the fun of it is seeing how far they travel. She put a page on her website where she shares the pieces' "found" stories, such as the bowl she left in Santa Monica, California, making its home in Spain, a bowl she left in Tucson finding its way to China and a piece found in Pennsylvania ending up in Mexico. Sometimes she leaves them in hiking spots in the wilderness. Sometimes she drops them in the middle of a city. Some pieces have stayed in the states she dropped them and others have traveled across the country or the world.

People who have found them have shared how much joy their discovery brought them:

"Just wanted to drop you a note to say that I picked up your 'Free Art' in the park in Fairhope during my last day of my Snowbird stay (January and February) in Orange Beach. While I was in Orange Beach, a dear friend fell and broke her hip and I wanted to get her something to take back. When I say your beautiful bowl, I knew it would touch her heart. Thank you so much for your generosity. She absolutely loved it."


"Dear Kim , Today I found a wonderful surprise, we were at Ft. Zach for my grandson's 5th birthday party and found this on our table, my first thought was ..why is this here? Then I read the card and was speechless... How incredibly lucky I am to have such a precious gift. You are an amazing , talented person. Thank you so much , this will be something I will pass on to my grandchildren. I wish you nothing but the best!"

"Found this incredible gem today. It makes me happy how people are so passionate about their gifts and talents that they would want to share it with the world. Thank you."

Some people have even started looking for the pieces when Press does an art drop announcement, alerting friends and family if the drop is near where they live. A woman who found a bowl in Boise, Idaho, wrote:

"My friend follows you and today she shared your profile with our friend group. We all followed your page and on my way home from work she called me and sent me on an adventure. I squealed when I found it. Thank you so much!! Keep on keeping on."

And a group in Lago Vista, Texas, shared:

“Our out of state guests were about to do a polar plunge in our pool when they saw your post and decided to go art drop hunting instead... so exciting!!!”

Everyone who found pieces shared how much gratitude they felt upon finding them.

Check out the Sailing Adrift Studios website to see where Press has left her free art so far, and follow her on Facebook and Instagram to see where the next art drop happens.

Thank you, Kim Press, for bringing joy not only to the people who happen upon your artwork, but also to those of us living vicariously through them. (I really need one of those bowls!)


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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