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Heroes

Barbara was hired at a top-notch design firm at 91. Here are 5 amazing things she's done so far.

The wisdom of our elders is no doubt America's most untapped resource. But that is changing. The folks at "The Today Show" and SeniorPlanet looked into just how amazing this change can be.

Minds like Barbara Beskind's are America's most underused human resource.


She's a top-notch designer at an internationally known design firm in Silicon Valley. And she's 91.

She holds court every Thursday at IDEO, a design and innovation consulting firm in San Francisco, as an ad-hoc consultant.

There, she gloriously helps designers invent better, more functional products for the elderly. She meets with a team of designers, some five or six decades her junior!

IDEO sends out an email to let everyone know when Barbara is in the office. The designers she works with love her.

People like Barbara have seen the invention of nuclear power, the rise of the automobile, the death of the streetcar, the invention of TV!

Their experience is, as of now, untapped. Unhired. Un-asked-interesting-questions.

Their wisdom, their brains, and their spirit are one of our nation's greatest untapped resources.

"I've retired five times, but it's like a vaccination that doesn't take."
— Barbara Beskin, my hero

How did she get there?

Barbara wanted to be an inventor and engineer her whole life. But when she asked her college counselor about pursuing it, she was told that it wasn't an option for her because engineering schools at the time didn't accept women. (!)

So she joined the Army, became an occupational therapist, wrote some books. ... Fast-forward to decades later, when she sent a nine-page letter to IDEO asking for a job. She got the job.

Here are some of the things she's already come up with:

#1. A unique brace that helps her BFF Hedy get up off the couch

Note to self: Become an inventor or befriend an inventor. They're so helpful!

#2. A magnifying glass for reading


She has macular degeneration. So she's just solving for it ... with inventions!

# 3. Modified walking poles

These are what I want for my grandma. She hates her walker; it makes her feel uncool. Already this little old lady inventor has changed the way I think about design.

#4. A revolutionary new walker

Much like her walking poles, Barbara is working on a walker that helps keep the person using it in a more vertical position.

#5. Prefab backyard living quarters for the elderly to live in an existing home with family

All those chill times you spent with grandma in your backyard? Well, Barbara's inventing new ways for grandma to live there! And ideas to make it better — like a chemical toilet and an electricity hookup that draws power from the main house. She gets it!

And that's just the beginning! She's 91 and she's JUST GETTING STARTED.

"You have to think outside of the box. You have to be more than yourself. The world is more important than you are."
— Barbara Beskind, aka the coolest

Is it just me, or should more companies get out of their stereotypes and into some untapped wisdom?

IDEO is famous for being cutting-edge, but that doesn't mean they should be the only company that benefits from elderly people's DECADES of experience in the world.

The brains, the experience, and the sheer exciting fact that these folks are ALIVE ... that is our natural resource. We should respect it.

I'm gonna go call my grandma now! I need to tell her about some walking poles.

While I do that, listen to more of Barbara's story from "The Today Show":

Modern Families

Fed up parents explain why they 'never want to bring the kids over' to visit

Can't you guys come to us for once?

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids. The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.

The bad news? One phrase: "When are you bringing them over?" Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.

Ceramic bowlsThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in black and white floral long sleeve shirt Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.

We all have the same goal.

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

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Joy

Single woman shares the hilarious 'deal breaker' she uses when she doesn't want a second date

Jo Brundza has mastered the art of painlessly getting out of a second date by making them reject her.

via JBrundz/TikTok and Frank Cone/Pexels

How Jo Brundza gets out of a date.

It's uncomfortable for people to tell someone they met for a first date that they aren’t interested in a second one because nobody enjoys hurting another person’s feelings. TikToker Jo Brundza has mastered the art of painlessly getting out of a second date by making them reject her.

How does she do it? Once she realizes she doesn’t want to see them again, she rants about the moon.

“From that realization and on, I spend the rest of the date trying to convince the other person that I don’t think the moon is real,” she says. Now, many folks out there incorrectly believe that the moon landing was faked, but she goes a step further by saying the massive celestial object doesn’t exist at all.

“They’re typically too stunned to argue back,” she says.

@jbrundz

They’re typically too stunned to argue back #fyp #dating #funny #bits

In a follow-up video, Brundza outlines the three arguments she uses to prove that the moon isn’t real:

1. If you know, you know

"I just think it's ridiculous that all these billionaires are going up into space. I mean, when they get up there, what do they expect to be there, or not be up there?"

2. False evidence

"Look, I'm just saying that if you look at the science of how light refraction works when it enters the atmosphere, it would bend it in a way that to the naked eye would look like solid mass, but it's not. Also, at the end of the day, do you know anyone who has actually been to the moon?"

3. Blame Greenland

"Eighty percent of the island is covered in ice and uninhabitable. You're really gonna tell me that's not where the projectors are? Actually, now that I think about it, do you personally know anyone who's ever been to Greenland?"

@jbrundz

Replying to @TySpice Bonus points if you can somehow work in that the sun is fake too #fyp #funny #bits

Works like a charm.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Popular

What are the 'non-obvious' signs someone is super smart? Here are 15 that people notice.

You can tell by the way they interact with people and ideas.

via Associated Press/Wikimedia Commons

Albert Einstein writing on a blackboard.

There are some obvious ways to determine if someone is highly intelligent, like when you see them work out a complex trigonometry problem on a blackboard or when they can easily explain the science behind mRNA vaccines or dark matter.

But there are also those we meet at social gatherings who immediately make us think they are very smart. Usually, it isn’t because they are making a long-winded speech about the fall of the Roman Empire or explaining quarks. We know they are intelligent because of the way they interact with people and ideas.

A Redditor named SomethingAbout2020 asked people on the AskReddit forum to share the “non-obvious signs” that people are intelligent. Many of their responses centered around how highly intelligent people are open-minded, curious and don’t waste their time arguing with others.

Brilliant people are confident in what they know, consider other people’s opinions and readily admit when they don’t know the answer.

Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: What are the non-obvious signs of a smart person?

1. They know what they don't know

"They acknowledge areas where they lack knowledge."

"'Never pretend to know something when you don't' is something I always teach. It covers lying and ignorance."

2. They consider other people's ideas

"They’ll listen to the other's facts and points and take them into account when giving an objection."

"One of the best developers at my last job and manager of a project I was at is an extremely intelligent person. ... One thing I noticed is how he would take everyone's opinion into account. He would take my opinions into consideration even if I'm not a smarter person or know less about development."

3. They make you feel smart

"Talking to a dumb person will make you feel smart. Talking to a smart person will make you feel dumb. Talking to a very smart person will make you feel smart."

4. They see patterns

"Part of the reason smart people throughout history are well-known is because they discovered something new and figured out how to maximize its potential. Darwin was a guy who discovered a bunch of islands with slightly different animals. He then collected and analyzed that data to come up with the theory of evolution, which was largely correct. Einstein’s theory of relativity was based off of his observation that physics acted on everything equally. He figured out that “exceptions” were because of the way high-speed objects interact with the universe’s speed limit (the speed of light). He recognized these exceptions by gathering them and recognizing the pattern between them all, then created his theory of relativity based on that."



5. They consider multiple intelligences

"They realize not everyone is smart the same way. Your 'stupid hick neighbor' might have dropped out of school in 8th grade, but he can drive your car once and tell you exactly what's wrong, then fix it. That a**hole in school that had no empathy for anyone and showed no emotion made that sci-fi sh*t you thought would never be real. Yeah, she's dingy and her worldview is tiny, but she's the best teacher you've ever met and inspires tons of kids to go on and do great things with themselves. There's no one-size-fits-all answer here, really."

People who are super smart are probably familiar with Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences. The theory suggests that people have more than just one type of just one type of intelligence, like being good at mathematics. Gardener says there are several, including musical, spatial, linguistic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and kinesthetic intelligence. This theory opens the door for people to appreciate different forms of intelligence that may not be of the academic variety.

6. They choose their battles

"When another person is not able to process something and, therefore, sticks with his opinion, after a few tries, the smart person just gives up. There is no use in trying to make someone understand something while they already have an uneducated opinion."

7. They speak to their audience

"They know how to explain concepts on just about any level, tailoring that level to their intended audience, and without coming across as condescending in any way."

"I heard a saying that went 'you have to be an expert to explain it simply.'"

8. They're confident in their intelligence

"Not constantly bragging about their intelligence. If they truly are smart, people can figure that out pretty quickly without them doing anything to show it."

"You generally only brag about things you're insecure about because you seek validation. If you are very comfortable with your intelligence then you may not care if someone misinterprets you and makes you look dumb or something. You have nothing to prove. That's not just for intelligence but for anything."

9. They're funny

"I think the smart people are even more funny than stupid people because smart people understand the complexity behind humor and can make their jokes reflect that."

Scientific studies show that people who are funny, especially those who have a dark sense of humor, are more intelligent than their not-so-funny peers. Researchers argue that it takes cognitive and emotional ability to make people laugh, and analysis shows that funny people have higher verbal and non-verbal intelligence.



10. They mind their own business

"This is a big one. They keep to themselves and deal with their own drama."

11. They aren't necessarily great students

"Believe it or not 'average' or 'above average' students are often smarter than those with straight A’s on the report cards. They do enough to pass well and get what they want but don’t let the academic system control them. Life isn’t all about booksmarts. This shows they are independent thinkers and don’t get wrapped up in designed systems. Not all, but many. Many kids who are forced to always be exceptional in school can end up the worst off and can develop deeper issues."

12. They are good listeners

"They actually listen to who they are talking to as opposed to waiting for their turn to talk."

13. Curiosity

"It really does seem to be one of the single greatest differentiators between average and smart."

14. Comfortable in silence

"Being comfortable enough to allow a moment of complete silence while you think when the natural instinct of most is to immediately start replying tells me that you are, at the very least, mindful of what you want to say."

15. Unattached to their opinions

"Most of the smart people I know are not pushy with their opinions; by contrast, most of the opinionated people I know are flaming morons. I don't know if there's a correlation there, but my anecdotal experience has always been that the more eager someone is to state their opinion, the less that opinion is probably worth."


This article originally appeared last year.
smart people
Community

Woman who is quickly going blind made a bucket list of things to see. Snowfall left her in tears.

"I cried so much. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Alishia (NettlesSheepstealer on Reddit)

A woman with an eye disease made a bucket list of things to see while she can—including snow.

Making a bucket list is a simple way of aspiring toward future happiness, and I respect anyone who makes that investment in themselves. It’s even more impressive when someone takes action because of seemingly bad news, using a negative to inspire a positive.

In a recent Internet post, a woman named Alishia shared that she has an "eye disease causing pretty rapid blindness" and, after receiving that diagnosis, decided to make a bucket list of things she "wanted to see before [losing] the rest of it." One item on that list was snow—given that she lives in South Louisiana, she’d seen it fall but never stick on the ground. Alishia made plans with a friend to go up north and experience the full winter-weather treatment: building a snowman, making snowballs and snow angels. Turns out she didn’t have to make the trip—in late January, her town wound up with a 10-inch accumulation (and Louisiana itself with a "historic" downfall).

Winnie The Pooh Animation GIF by DisneyGiphy

"I cried so much," she wrote on Reddit. "It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Everyone, adults included, were outside playing in it. I'm 38, and I was out there giggling like a 5-year-old. It was even more meaningful that it happened here, where most of us have never seen it."

After reading the story, I reached out to to Alishia, who kindly shared more details about her experience. Her eye disease is RP, Retinitis Pigmentosa, which, she explains, "starts with losing your night vision and then slowly causes you to have tunnel vision." She adds, "The tunnel closes over time. I got officially diagnosed at 36 but stopped driving at 26." (According to Cleveland Clinic, RP is a "group of disorders" that affect people differently: "Most people with RP have low vision, and some people go blind. The vision changes usually start in childhood. But sometimes these changes occur so slowly that you don’t realize it’s happening.")

The big snow day, she says, got off to an early start when she woke up at 2:45 a.m. and "couldn’t fall back asleep" due to excitement. Given that she "can’t see anything at night except lights" and didn’t expect much snow to begin with, she tried to keep her expectations modest. Then the downpour came.

Alishia stands in the snow with an umbrella."I don't own a coat because it doesn't get super cold here," Alishia says, "so most people just put on multiple pairs of clothes and hoodies"Alishia (NettlesSheepstealer on Reddit)

"It started falling, and at first I couldn't see it, but it sounded like someone opening a carbonated drink," she says. "A couple hours later I could see it on the ground. Then I realized I could actually see the cars in the parking lot. It was dark, but I could see the light reflecting off all the snow. I cried like a baby [laughs]. Later when the sun came out, I went outside with my white cane and it didn't click in my head that I couldn't use it because everything was covered. All of my neighbors and their kids were outside. My favorite thing in the world is hearing people have fun. There were people outside in their 40s laughing and making snowmen. None of them turned out very well, but we don't know what we're doing. I stayed outside all day. It was so different from seeing it in the movies."

The top photo, where she's wearing a robe, shows her "feeble attempt at a snowman," she notes with a laugh.

On Reddit, Alishia mentioned some of the remaining items on her bucket list (going to a drag show, taking her son to the beach, and doing karaoke with her mom and little sister) and some of the others she’s already checked off (going fishing with her son and seeing a waterfall). She tells me she also got to see her first concert: the punk rock band Bad Religion.

"It was amazing," she says. "No one treated me different. My sister told me after that a couple people tried to give me a fist bump, which was kinda funny since I can only see a small area of my vision. The things I do with my son are also beautiful. The more things I tick off the list, the less afraid I am of the world. People are nicer than I gave them credit for."

Home Alone Reaction GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy

After posting her story on Reddit, Alishia has been able to connect with a lot of people—another example of how she "[gets] joy out of people enjoying things."

"It sounds weird, but I think vision loss really put a lot of things into perspective for me," she says. "I savor things more deeply than I did before. I've had people tell me they'd die if they lost their vision. I like to talk to people and let them know it doesn't have to be scary."

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Dad shares joyful celebration of America's diversity in his kids' school Parade of Nations

A beautiful reminder of what we can be.

Representative photo credit: Canva

Kids from all around the world call the U.S. home.

It's often been said that the United States is a nation of immigrants, a melting pot, a salad bowl, a mosaic or kaleidoscope of cultures. Since the country's founding, people from around the world have made their way to its shores, some seeking opportunity, some seeking asylum, some by choice and some by force, each adding their own threads to the tapestry of American identity.

Immigration creates greater diversity, and in at least one school in Michigan, students' cultural diversity is being celebrated annually in a joyful Parade of Nations. A dad shared a video after getting back from the event at his kids' school, saying he was "in tears" during it. "Forty-two countries were represented across 200 students, and it was amazing, he said.

Watch:

@thatdadlove

42 countries. One school. One United States of America. This is what diversity looks like. 🌍 While some try to divide us, today was a reminder of what makes us stronger—diversity, representation, inclusion and the power of community. Our kids aren’t just learning about different cultures; they’re growing up surrounded by them. Diversity isn’t a buzzword—it’s the foundation for a better future. Let’s protect it. 💙 #paradeofnations #diversity #diversitymatters #representation #unity #parentingwithpurpose #tiktokpartner

Their beaming faces. The spring in their step. Them wearing the colors of the flags of their countries of origin with pride. The whole crowd cheering each one on. This is such a beautiful reminder of what we can be when we're not operating from a place of prejudice, fear or hate. These kids were all part of the same community, all with a shared identity as part of that community, while also having their different cultural heritage celebrated and honored.

People loved to see the reminder of what our nation can be.

"This is what the US is supposed to look like. We all fam in the club."

"This made me tear up. We really have what it takes to be a great nation but hate won't let us get there. Glad those kiddos had so much fun!"

"Maybe, just maybe, we could see the world through their eyes, rather than our own. We'd have more compassion and handle situations in a more empathetic way."

"This is amazing. Those children will remember this forever. They were ALL seen on that day."

"This made me cry too much because this is what makes America great. The diversity of the people that reside here and the hope of a better future. I needed this today, thank you."

"I'm in full blown sobs, they're all so beautiful!!! Extra love to the solo ones holding it down and representing with so much pride and joy. Endless blessings for the youth."

Maya Angelou Quote GIF by LA vs. HateGiphy

People sometimes say "diversity is our strength," and there's actual research to back that up. Different cultural contexts give people different perspectives and ways of looking a things, and when you put those differences together, incredible things can happen. "Overwhelming evidence suggests that teams that include different kinds of thinkers outperform homogeneous groups on complex tasks, including improved problem solving, increased innovation, and more-accurate predictions—all of which lead to better performance and results when a diverse team is tasked to approach a given problem," write authors of a study on diversity in biomedical research.

Diversity appears to bolster business innovation as well. A study of 1,700 companies by Harvard Business Review found that " indeed there was a statistically significant relationship between diversity and innovation outcomes in all countries examined" and "the more dimensions of diversity were represented, the stronger the relationship was." Additionally, "the most-diverse enterprises were also the most innovative, as measured by the freshness of their revenue mix."

When we actually see diversity as our strength and ensure that diverse perspectives have a seat at the table, everyone wins. As this school reminds us, it's entirely possible to have shared identities and different identities at the same time, and that celebrating diversity makes room for that. The U.S. has always been a nation of immigrants, and the diversity that comes from that is a big part of who we are. Let's embrace it with pride and celebration like these kids have.

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