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Bad at remembering to take care of yourself? These 25 tips can make it almost automatic.

True
Cigna 2017

Most of us want to take good care of ourselves, and we know that good, preventive self-care routines are the best way to do that.

But it can also be overwhelming, stressful, and time-consuming to try to remember all the things that we're supposed to do.

Have you had enough water? Did you take a minute to meditate? Shouldn't you get up and take a walk? When's the last time you ate? Or slept eight hours? How long have you been sitting at your desk?


Image via iStock.

Knowing that you haven't done any of these acts of self-care can feel super stressful — exactly the opposite of the effect self-care is supposed to have.

The last thing you need is to stress about how to care for yourself.

But when you have a busy schedule, it's tough to stay accountable to yourself too, and so it's easy to let your own well-being — and health — slide. And that is when health problems — brought on by stress, poor eating habits, lack of exercise or something else — can develop.

Luckily, there are lots of hacks out there to help automate taking care of yourself.

They help take the stress out of, well, de-stressing by helping you build a healthy self-care routine and making it a habit that's easier to stick to.

Self-care isn't selfish, despite how it is sometimes perceived. Image via iStock.

Here are just a few ideas and apps that can help automatically make self-care a priority — whether you have two minutes or two hours:

1. Do nothing for two minutes (while listening to some soothing waves).

Image via iStock.

2. Or try this quiet place if waves aren't your thing.

Just a few minutes of quieting your mind can help relieve your stress and regroup your thoughts.

3. Listen to this comforting rain noise or create your own calming noise.

Image via iStock.

4. Pot some succulents on your phone.

5. Weave colorful silk on the screen at this website.

6. Get up and take a walk outside.

Image via iStock.

A 2016 study showed that even a small dose of nature, such as a simple walk down a tree-lined city street, can reduce stress. So once a day, if you can, try to carve out a small amount of time to get outside and see some trees or grass — even if it's doing a small walk around the block, spending five minutes in a park, or parking down the street from work so you can walk by some trees for a few minutes.

7. With the help of an app, remember to stay hydrated.

Image via iStock.

We all know that we're supposed to drink water, but remembering isn’t always that easy. Apps like iDrated, Waterlogged, and Eight Glasses a Day — most of which are free — can help.

8. And check out WeTap to find the closest water fountain or fill-up station.

9. Keep forgetting to take lunch? Temple and Time4Lunch can help with that.

Image via iStock.

10. Challenge yourself to make your lunch the evening before.

Image via iStock.

That way you won't have to take the time to make it or buy it when it feels like you just don't have the time or energy. Ā 

11. Track your sleep cycle with a fitness tracker gadget like FitBit or Jawbone or a phone app like Sleepbot.

It's one step toward building better sleep habits.

Image via iStock.

12. Try out the iPhone's Bedtime function.

It's located within the alarm clock app, and it will not only wake you up and track your sleeping patterns, but it will also gently remind you when you should start heading to bed to get a good night’s sleep. Ā 

13. Schedule some "do not disturb" time so you can focus on yourself without distractions.

Image via iStock.

For example, Offtime helps you schedule "do not disturb" times when you just need to focus or take a break or when you're getting ready for bed.

14. Check in with this calming manatee. (He really does help!)

15. Look at some photos and videos of cute fluffy animals online.

Image via iStock.

Research suggests that looking at images of baby animals not only can make you happy (because, awwww!) but also boost your productivity and focus.

16. Snuggle a shelter pet.

Studies have shown that petting dogs can help lower blood pressure and reduce stress, anxiety, and loneliness. If you don't have your own dog (or even if you do!), you can help out at your local shelter (and get lots of snuggle time). And you'll be helping those animals get some love and attention too, which they need while they wait for their forever home.

Image via iStock.

17. Check out instructional and motivational videos.

The Coach by CignaTM app can help you reach your stress, health, and sleep goals with over 300 instructional and motivational videos — and you don't have to be a Cigna customer to use it.

Or check out Happify, a program designed to help you improve your emotional well-being by taking control of your feelings and thoughts through games.

18. Journal every day, and stay on track with apps like DayOne.

Journaling has been shown to have a positive impact on our physical and emotional well-being. Writing in this phone journal is secure and as easy to do as texting on the go. Plus, it will even remind you when it's been awhile since you last wrote. Ā 

Image via iStock.

19. Keep track of what's bothering you with apps like Worry Watch.

This app works like an anxiety journal, letting you write down what's bothering you as a first step toward letting that concern go.

20. Go see your doctor and get your four health numbers —blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and body mass index (BMI) — checked.

Image via iStock.

That way you won't have to worry unnecessarily about your health — and you can get help if there is a problem.

21. Let go of bad or intrusive thoughts with games like Good Blocks.

22. Meditate for five minutes — even that's enough to help shave some of that stress off your day.

Image via iStock.

Apps like Headspace or Calm make meditation simpler (especially if you've never meditated before) by guiding you through it.

23. Practice some office yoga if you don’t have the time to step away from your desk.

24. Volunteer.

Image via iStock.

Research has shown that volunteering and helping others is good for your physical and mental health.

25. Make a habit list.

Habit List is a one-stop shop to help you develop your own self-care routine. It will help you set goals for yourself — like meditate more or remember to eat lunch — and help you break bad habits. And the best part is that it's completely customizable. Ā 

Image via iStock.

Of course, self-care is by its very nature personal — so no one thing will work for everyone.

The important thing is to figure out what pro-active steps you want to take to get a better handle on your health and well-being. And, once you've done that, the good news is that there are lots of apps, websites, and tricks to get you started.

Learn more about how to take control of your health at Cigna.com/TakeControl.

Pets

Dogs really do have favorite people, and here's how they decide who it will be

Sometimes their favorite people don't live in their house.

Dogs really do have favorite people. Here's how they decide

When my sister's dog, Junior, was on this side of the Rainbow Bridge, I was one of his favorite people. This dog would get full body wags every time I came around, and we'd spend most of the day cuddled up with each other. Now my dog, Cocolina, behaves in the same way whenever my sister comes to visit. But what goes into a dog deciding who their favorite person is? Spoiler, it's not always the person they live with.

Like humans, animals have their own personalities. You might rescue a dog thinking it will be the perfect companion, only to have the furry adoptee spend every waking moment following your partner around. You could spend hundreds of dollars on vet checkups, new harnesses, treats, and all the squeaky dog toys you can find, but that still won't be enough to convince a dog to love you. Instead of showering the giver of treats with kisses, they make goo-goo eyes at the pet sitter. It turns out they have their reasons.


dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Corgi cuddles spreading joy and smiles!Photo credit: Canva

Since our canine friends can't talk, we have to rely on the experts to explain what the deal is with how dogs pick their favorite human. Carol Erickson, a Pennsylvania SPCA animal advocate, gave a brief interview with CBS News Philadelphia to explain her take on how dogs determine their bestest, most favorite person.

"What it comes down to for all dogs is they decide their very favorite family member by who gives the most consistent, high-quality attention, play, and physical affection: ear rubs, scratches, that sort of thing. Dogs get positive associations from being around people who consistently provide positive experiences, including treats, meals, play that they enjoy, and remember also that early association in those first six months can influence who a dog may like better later on," she tells the outlet.

Rover backs up Erickson's claim that the first six months are crucial in determining who will become the dog's favorite person later in life. The website says, "Many dogs bond hardest to whoever cares for them during their key socialization period, which occurs between birth and six months." However, they later note that dogs can still be socialized appropriately even as adults.

The dog-sitting website also explains that it's not uncommon for people who are not the dog's primary caregiver to be their favorite person. Pointing out that physical affection is vital to dogs, if the mailman gives out head scratches daily but the owner doesn't, the mailman may become the dog's favorite person. While physical affection and treats go a long way for some pooches, those aren't the only things that get puppy eyes melting with love.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Joyful moments with furry friends! šŸ¶ā¤ļøPhoto credit: Canva

"While positive experiences play a big role, a dog’s favorite person isn’t always just the one holding the treat bag. Dogs also respond to emotional connection, tone of voice, and even body language. Their preferences are shaped by a mix of familiarity, trust, and how well a person understands their needs," explains Elle Vet Sciences. They later add, "Dogs also take emotional cues from us. If a person is stressed, loud, or inconsistent, a dog may be less likely to form a deep bond with them. On the other hand, someone who offers reassurance and stability often earns the title of 'favorite' without even realizing it."

In short, if you want to be your dog's bestie, being consistent with affection, actions, and even training and grooming will get you there a lot faster than treats alone. Dogs aren't trying to be persnickety; just like humans, they enjoy being around people who show them that they enjoy their company—and maybe some treats.

Culture

Why you might try peeling your bananas the way monkeys do

Our primate friends are onto something here.

Canva Photos

Monkeys and humans peel their bananas very differently.

Modern humans really like to argue about how to do simple things around the house. Families have fractured over how to load the dishwasher, or whether to hang the toilet paper roll over or under. We have strong opinions, get set in our ways, and refuse to change even in the face of compelling evidence.

There's a new debate raging and, believe it or not, it's all over the humble banana. For example, a recent Reddit thread with over 10,000 comments featured a wife and husband fiercely arguing over how, specifically, a banana should be peeled.


If you're like me, you didn't even know there were multiple ways to peel a banana. I've always grabbed the stem, angled it downward until the peel cracked open, and then peeled. Admittedly, it's not a perfect method. Sometimes the banana, if not perfectly ripe, with get smushed in the process. Or the stem may bend without splitting the peel open, leaving you wiggling back and forth until you give up and go get a knife.

Apparently, there is a better way. And all we have to do is watch how the monkeys do it.

YouTuber Anthony Crain of Cooking For One explains: "They ought to know. They know bananas." Instead of cracking the peel at the stem, primates squeeze the bottom end together (sometimes playfully referred to as the butthole of the banana) and the peel pops open, as if by magic.

"If you go from [the bottom end], it always works, no matter how ripe or unripe the banana is."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Though the bottom-first method of banana peeling works great—and some even swear you get less stringy things (called "phloem bundles") this way—not everyone is convinced.

Though no official statistics exist as to what percentage of people peel their bananas from the stem, almost everyone I've ever met does it. And many of them are not looking to change their minds or methods any time soon.

"Monkeys also fling [poop]. Just cause monkeys do it doesn't automatically make it correct," one Redditor wrote.

"I am not a monkey; I will open it how I like," said another.

Others swore that once they tried the monkey technique, they never went back:

"When I heard you could do it by using the B side I tried it and it's super easy. Works every time and doesn't damage the inside. I've been using B ever since."

"This post ... is going to start a civil war," one user joked.

"Honestly this is one of the most interesting comment sections I’ve seen. I would never guess it was this divided," another added.

Top or bottom aren't the only banana-opening options available. Some people break bananas in half in the middle and peel from there. Others snap it open like a matador cracking a whip.


@yunggecko_

Magic banana? šŸŖ„šŸŒ #fyp #foryoupage #magic

For as many different varieties of edible fruit that exist in the world, there seem to be just as many fascinating ways to access them.

Have you ever seen the pomegranate whacking method of removing those pesky seeds?

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Or how about the no-knife method of popping out avocado pits with just one hand?


@bearenger

#stitch with @_mynameischo OMG WHAT šŸ„‘ #healthyrecipes #plantbased IB @tracesoats

As an apple connoisseur, I'm always interested in cool ways of slicing or coring an apple. I recently learned you can scoop the core out with a tablespoon or melon baller in about five seconds!


@jessicaygavin

2 Easy Ways to Core an Apple! #core #applestothecore #fruit #apples #easytips #cheflife

Truthfully, there's no wrong way to enjoy your fruit. You can peel your bananas like a monkey, or buy that little pointless doohickey from Amazon that slices it for you like knives don't exist.

Fruits of all kinds are delicious and contain tons of amazing nutrients for your body. What keeps it fun is always exploring new fruits, and yes, even new ways of peeling, coring, and eating them.

Credit: Canva

A couple talking over coffee.

Many people find making small talk to be an excruciating experience. They think it’s boring to talk with a stranger about the weather, sports, or weekend plans. They may also feel like they don’t have anything to contribute to the conversation, or they don’t understand the point of having one in the first place.

However, those who excel at making small talk have a tremendous advantage in their professional and romantic relationships, as well as forming new friendships. Most importantly, small talk is a window to transition into medium talk or, eventually, deep, meaningful conversations. The problem is that many people get stuck in small talk, and things stall before progressing to something beneficial.


conversation, friends, small talk, chatting Two women chatting in front of a fire. Credit: Atlantic Ambience/Pexels

How to get better at small talk

The great thing is that, like anything, making small talk is a skill that we can all improve by learning some simple conversation techniques. One technique that is great for keeping a conversation going, like hitting a ball back and forth past a net in tennis, is a simple statement:

"It reminds me ofā€¦ā€

A Redditor recently shared some great examples of how the phrase can be used to turn a mundane topic, such as the weather, into something much more fun:

Them: "It's been really rainy, huh?"

You:

Option 1 (Personal Story): "Yeah, it reminds me of a time I went on a run in the rain and nearly got hit by a car."

Option 2 (Music / Pop Culture): "It reminds me of every Adele song. When I'm driving, I feel like I'm in a music video."

Option 3 (Family): "It reminds me of my dad, he used to love playing with us in the rain as kids."

Option 4 (Thing you watched / World News): "It reminds me of this documentary I saw where they're trying to make it rain in the Sahara Desert.ā€

Option 5 (Place you lived): ā€œIt reminds me of when I lived in Australia, it barely ever rained there. I actually love this weather.ā€


- YouTube www.youtube.com

You see in this example that using ā€œIt reminds me ofā€¦ā€ opened up the conversation to five potential new and more exciting topics. The ā€œYouā€ in the story could have responded with, ā€œYeah, it sure is rainy,ā€ and the conversation would have ended right there. But instead, branching off the topic of rain into something a bit deeper took the conversation to the next level. You get extra points if you can take the ā€œreminds me ofā€ into a topic that you assume the other person will be interested in.

What’s a polite way to change the topic in a conversation?

Using ā€œthis reminds me ofā€¦ā€ is also a polite way to move the topics in another direction, especially when it's a topic that you don’t want to discuss or one that makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. Or, if it’s a situation where the other person is monologuing on one topic for a very long time, this makes it easy to transition away from their diatribe.

conversation, small talk, chatting, cafe Two guys chat at a cafe. Credit: Helena Lopes/Pexels

Ultimately, the phrase is an excellent way for you to save the person you’re talking to from being stuck in the small talk rut as well. It shows you understand that when someone brings up the weather, they are merely getting things started with something both of you have in common. They probably don’t want to talk about the weather for 30 minutes, unless they are a meteorologist. ā€œIt reminds me ofā€¦ā€ is an invitation to go a bit deeper and shows the other person that you’d like to learn more about them.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.


Community

Expert shares the simple small talk mistake almost everyone makes—and how to fix it

"It’s a natural impulse—we want to relate, to show we understand."

A group of friends having a chat.

You might be shocked to learn that many people don’t like making small talk. Surprise, right? They either believe it’s beneath them to talk about mundane subjects or don’t see the benefit of discussing the weather, sports, or television with people they hardly know.

However, these folks are missing a very valuable form of interaction that can help them with their love lives, friendships, and careers. They also remove themselves from situations where they can elevate small talk to something more valuable and meaningful.


Jefferson Fisher, a Texas personal injury attorney and communications expert, has become massively popular on Instagram—with nearly 6 million followers—for sharing tips ā€œto help people argue less and talk more.ā€ While promoting his new book, The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More, Fisher discussed the number one problem people have while making small talk.

What's the biggest mistake people make during small talk?

"They unknowingly turn the conversation back to themselves too quickly," Fisher tells Parade. "It’s a natural impulse—we want to relate, to show we understand. But what often happens is that we hijack the conversation."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"For example, someone says, 'I just got back from a trip to Italy,' and instead of asking about their experience, we jump in with, 'Oh, I’ve been to Italy several times, it’s great.' It’s well-meaning, but it can come across as dismissive,ā€ Fisher said. ā€œInstead, focus on them. Ask open-ended questions like, 'That’s wonderful, what was your favorite part?' Small talk isn’t about impressing people, it’s about making them feel seen and heard."

Fisher’s advice echoes that of the great Dale Carnegie, author of the 1936 classic How to Win Friends and Influence People. In the book, Carnegie says, ā€œTo be interesting, be interested.ā€ Carnegie’s advice is counterintuitive because we are taught to believe that being likable means dominating conversations and entertaining the other person. However, Carnegie thinks that people who are generous listeners tend to make a better first impression.

How to be more likable

Researchers at Harvard University found that when you ask someone a question, people will like you more if, after they answer, you ask them two more follow-up questions. So, if you ask, ā€œWhere did you go last summer?ā€ And they reply, Italy, you can follow that up with two questions about their favorite city and the restaurant they’ll never forget. Then, you can tell them that you’ve been there, too.

ā€œWe identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,ā€ the study's authors write. ā€œPeople who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.ā€

conversation, small talk, chatting, discussion, communication Two people have a conversation. Credit: Fauxels/Pexel

People will take a shine to you after you ask a few questions because it shows that you are listening and interested in what they say. ā€œFollow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,ā€ the researchers write.

While at first, it may take a little practice to ask follow-up questions instead of turning the conversation to your experiences and opinions, it should take some pressure off the need to be interesting. Now, instead of trying to wow people with your stories, all you have to do is listen to theirs, and they’ll like you all the more for it.

This article originally appeared in May. It has been updated.

People with dementia can roam freely in a dementia village.

There are a lot of extremely challenging things about getting older, but one stands about the rest. Living with dementia is not easy, nor is living with someone living with dementia. No matter how much caregivers may want to keep a loved one with dementia in their home, it's not always feasible. But moving them into a traditional care facility isn't always ideal, either.

That's where a "dementia village" comes in as an alternative. Instead of trying to fit a person with dementia into a living situation that either isn't designed for them or is overly focused on their limitations, a dementia village is an environment designed specifically to help people with severe dementia feel safe and free and live as normal a life as possible.


dementia, dementia care, alzheimer's disease, dementia village, memory care People with dementia tend to remember distant memories and forget recent ones.Photo credit: Canva

The Hogeweyk was the world's first dementia village, founded in 2009. Since then, the idea has been replicated in dozens of locations all over the world. The concept is quite simple: A full, self-contained neighborhood where people with dementia can walk around freely without fear of getting lost, where everyone from shopkeepers to restaurant servers to salon workers are trained in dementia care, and where people who are losing their memory to dementia diseases are treated as people who still have aspirations.

Eloy van Hal, one of the founders of the Hogeweyk, explained to Vox how the guiding principle of the village is "normalcy." Traditional nursing homes keep all residents under one roof, and they are subject to do whatever program the institution provides for them. In the Hogeweyk, people live in small groups of six or seven in apartments with furnishings like they'd have at home. Distinct landmarks in the public space help residents know where they are, and putting a theater, grocery store, barber shop, etc. in separate buildings encourage movement through the neighborhood.

"It's about choice, choice, choice, where you want to be during the whole day and with whom," said van Hal. The idea is to balance safe design with controlled risk, allowing for as much of a normal life as possible.

- YouTube youtu.be

The one downside to the village concept, of course, is cost. Without adequate funding assistance from governments, living in a dementia village can be prohibitively expensive.

Does it really make a difference for residents, though? Has it been proven that outcomes are better than traditional care models? With dozens of villages now being used around the world, research is ongoing but the data from the Hogeweyk is promising. People in the comments of Vox's by Design video shared how such facilities have been life-changing for their loved ones and how traditional care doesn't always meet the needs of people with dementia.

"My grandmother had dementia and when her caretaker who was my grandfather (her husband) passed unexpectedly we had to scramble to get her into a memory care facility in the US. The first place she was in temporarily was so sad, I could see her spirit drain but after about a year we were able to get her into a "village" and the quality of life difference is nothing short of ASTOUNDING! She could function in a way that was familiar and comfortable to her and not be in a foreign hospital setting. The abrupt change from a home where they are familiar, to a clinical setting must be very disorienting and upsetting to these people. That side of my family had mental health issues and memory loss starts early, so I know it will happen to me to some extent and I only hope I can have people take care of me as well as in this Hogeweyk."

"I've worked in a nursing home through high school and college. While I can't say it was the worst place for dementia patients, it certainly did not work well for all of them. One patient once tried to wedge herself through the door begging to go outside with me and I even had patients confide in me that they hated being institutionalized, they missed being able to live a normal life, being part of a real community, and being able to come and go as they pleased. This concept is probably the closest thing possible to a normal life a dementia patient could ever have."

dementia, dementia care, alzheimer's disease, dementia village, memory care All the workers in a dementia village are trained in memory care.Photo credit: Canva

"A relative of mine used to get aggressive, violent and angry when she would encounter a locked door in the institution she was in. She couldn't understand why there would be a locked room in what she understood to be 'her home', this would take a lot of calming down and management, only for her to discover another locked door, and kick off again. I love these village based models as they allow autonomy for residents, and have an individual experience. Just because someone has a brain disease doesn't mean they aren't entitled to the very best care. I hope the govt spends far more on these establishments in the future."

"As he said at the end, people with dementia are still people—even if there is proven to be no benefits to this model over a care home, I would much prefer to have dignity in my final days than live in a clinical trap. Love all the incredible ideas the Netherlands come up with."

Dementia care is something Americans are going to have to look at closely. According to The Alzheimer's Association, the number of people living with Alzheimer's is set to nearly double from seven million to 13 million by the year 2050. As more of our elders require full-time care, the more we'll have to consider prioritizing putting resources into things like dementia villages.

Everyone deserves safety and a good quality of life. The Hogeweyk is a great example of what it looks like to view people with dementia as people first and to care for them accordingly.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.