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Parents get a wave of support after their family has 'unhinged' reaction to new baby's name

Hoping their family was taking notes.

baby names 2024, rosa name meaning
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Unsolicited opinions aren't just annoying. They can be hurtful.

Sure, parents sometimes make some…interesting choices when it comes to naming their child. But the key word there is choice. It probably should go without saying that it’s not the best move to insert an opinion on something rather personal and vulnerable, especially when that opinion is not requested.

But nonetheless, people do cross this boundary, expressing their disapproval and giving new moms and dads yet another reason to second guess themselves.

As one frustrated mom shared on Reddit, her own in-laws gave what she described as the “most unhinged” reaction to her newborn’s name, leaving her and her husband completely “crushed.”

At first, everything went smoothly.

“I just had a baby this week,” the mom wrote in her post. “We were still in the hospital when we announced her name and got a slew of the usual responses that normal, sane people say when hearing about the name of a baby (‘what a lovely name!’). Because saying anything different is insane, right?”

But then when her husband texted his side of the family to share the newborn daughter’s name, all hell broke loose.

Mind you, these parents didn’t name their child Watermelon Gumdrop or Fern Gully or something else truly out there. The name they chose, which caused them a lot of unnecessary grief, was Rosa.

Not only does Rosa, the Spanish word for “rose,” sound lovely, it carries all poetic meaning symbolized by the flower: hope, love and courage. What’s not to like?

rosa name meaning, baby names 2024

Rosa is a baby girl name of Mexican origin.

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But instead of celebrating their name choice, the mother-in-law apparently responded with ““no, I don’t really like that name. I much prefer Violet.”

“We were stunned,” the woman continued. “I simply cannot imagine being a family member who’s being INFORMED of a newborn’s name, and thinking you should have input…We LOVE our daughter’s name, and did not want to have our first moments with our daughter marred by this comment.”

But wait, it gets worse. The family then called the hospital several times after their texts were ignored. Then the following day, the husband’s sister also sent a barrage of texts with “alternative she prefers”.

Then, when told that the entire family on the mom’s side supported the name, the mother-in-law laughed and said “they must not have good taste- nobody here likes it. Nobody.”

And here is what really shows the effect this appalling behavior really had: “We are sleep deprived. Coming down from an emotional high, during which our daughter was in NICU and I almost needed a blood transfusion because of how much blood I lost. My husband, so stoic and assured, is f**king crushed. I’m FUMING. I will NEVER forget how they made my husband feel during one of the most vulnerable and special times in his life,” the mom wrote.

Most Unhinged Reaction To Naming Your Child?
byu/UWhatMate innamenerds

People who read this woman’s story were “livid” on her behalf, and rallied to give her some support long overdue.

“What on earth is wrong with Rosa???? It’s a beautiful name!! Tell your mother-in-law she is ridiculous and she can shut up immediately, if not sooner,” one person commented.

Another pointed to how truly ridiculous this situation was, writing, ““The name is ROSA? I thought from reading this that it was at least going to be a controversial name. Rosa is beautiful. Even if it’s not your cup of tea, it’s hard to find anything wrong with it. OP should take this as the sign it is and reevaluate their individual relationships with that side of the family.”

Several even suggested going into little-to-no-contact mode with that side of the family, since odds are they wouldn’t prove any more helpful in the stressful postpartum days to come.

“Tell her she doesn’t need to meet baby if she is so insistent on the name being changed,” one person commented.

Sadly, sometimes boundaries must be pushed a little further with those who will not respect more lenient ones. Especially when it comes to family members. And especially when it comes to parents trying to raise their kids in the most healthy environment possible. Hopefully these parents were able to move forward and enjoy welcoming their little Rosa into the world.


This article originally appeared on 12.20.23

A guy having a collaborative conversation.

The quickest way to stop having a constructive dialog with someone is when they become defensive. This usually results in them digging in their heels and making you defensive. This can result in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that can feel impossible to break. Once that happens, the walls go up, the gloves come off and resolving the situation becomes tough.

Amanda Ripley, author of “High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out,” says in her book that you can prevent someone you disagree with from becoming defensive by being curious about their opinion.

Ripley is a bestselling author and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict.


How to have a constructive conversation

Let’s say you believe the room should be painted red and your spouse says it should be blue. Instead of saying, “I think blue is ugly,” you can say, “It’s interesting that you say that…” and ask them to explain why they chose blue.

The key phrase is: “It’s interesting that you say that…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsPeople coming to an agreement. via Canva/Photos

When you show the other person that you genuinely care about their thoughts and appreciate their reasoning, they let down their guard. This makes them feel heard and encourages them to hear your side as well. This approach also encourages the person you disagree with to consider coming up with a collaborative solution instead of arguing to defend their position.

It’s important to assume the other person has the best intentions while listening to them make their case. “To be genuinely curious, we need to refrain from judgment and making negative assumptions about others. Assume the other person didn’t intend to annoy you. Assume they are doing the best they can. Assume the very best about them. You’ll appreciate it when others do it for you,” Kaitlyn Skelly at The Ripple Effect Education writes.

Phrases you can use to avoid an argument

The curiosity approach can also involve affirming the other person’s perspective while adding your own, using a phrase like, “On the one hand, I see what you’re saying. On the other hand…”

Here are some other phrases you can use:

“I wonder if…”

“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”

“I might be wrong, but…”

“How funny! I had a different reaction…”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that! For me, though, it seems…”

“I think I understand your point, though I look at it a little differently…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsTwo men high-fiving one another.via Canva/Photos

What's the best way to disagree with people?

A 2016 study from Yale University supports Ripley’s ideas. The study found that when people argue to “win,” they take a hard line and only see one correct answer in the conflict. Whereas those who want to “learn” are more likely to see that there is more than one solution to the problem. At that point, competition magically turns into collaboration.

“Being willing to hear out other perspectives and engage in dialogue that isn’t simply meant to convince the other person you’re right can lead to all sorts of unexpected insights,” psychologist and marketing Professor at Southern Methodist University tells CNBC.

In a world of strong opinions and differing perspectives, curiosity can be a superpower that helps you have more constructive conversations with those with whom you disagree. All it takes is a little humility and an open mind, and you can turn conflict into collaboration, building bridges instead of walls.

Couple nearly 100 years old find love and marry

There's no age limit on love. Maybe your hands are a little less familiar as time has stolen their smoothness and the reflection in the mirror more like your mother than you remember. Maybe you've sent your last child off to college years after a divorce when the coffee chats with your single neighbor start feeling a little more romantic.

Love really can come to you at any time no matter which one of life's season you've just survived and it often comes along when you least expect it. Unexpected love is exactly what Jo Cartwright experienced when she and Bernard Snyder became friends while living in their retirement home, Westminster. The pair were both widowed from marriages spanning several decades.

Cartwright, the younger of the two, at a young 96-years-old was married for 67 years before her husband passed away and Snyder, who is 98, was previously married for 73 years. These two obviously know a thing or two longevity in a relationship but Cartwright wasn't looking for a partner when her now husband first laid eyes on her. At the time, she was simply trying to figure out how to eat a comically large piece of chicken.

“She’s sitting there and she's looking at this chicken. And she looks so helpless. I mean, it was just hilarious. I had to find out who she was,” Snyder tells KUT News.

two people standing on brown wooden floor Photo by Marc A. Sporys on Unsplash

The pair were both dining at a restaurant in Austin, Texas, where they reside at Westminster and something about Cartwright trying to wrestle with the chicken on her plate sparked adoration in Snyder. But after being married to her previous husband for so long, she hadn't thought about being romantically interested in anyone since he died, especially not with Snyder. She knew of him prior to his wife's death and didn't consider him to be a possible suitor. It was Snyder who opened the eyes of Cartwright to the possibility of companionship.

"When I first met him [Snyder], he was married and his wife was not well," Cartwright Snyder explains to KVUE. "He was so gentle and kind, and I thought the world of him as a person, never thinking about a future with him. But I thought he was such a fine man."


Snyder had been lonely since his wife passed away in 2017 so when Cartwright caught his attention, he couldn't get her out of his head...or out of his sight.

“Wherever I was, he was there,” the new bride tells the news outlet. “I would look up and there he was right there. And I thought, ‘Well, maybe this man — maybe he likes me a little bit.’”

He more than liked her a little, Snyder was absolutely lovestruck by her, eventually working up the nerve to ask her to be his dinner partner. It worked. The two spent more and more time together and before long, Cartwright realized she was falling in love with her new beau. Since they're both in their late 90s, they didn't waste any time tying the knot in a ceremony planned by their kids.

red and white eat, drink, and be married signage near brown tree Photo by Ben Rosett on Unsplash

"She fell for him and all the flattery and the sweet things he said to her and how he treated her, it was amazing to watch it," Cartwright's daughter shares with KENS 5.

"You never imagine that a 96- and a 98-year-old are going to find each other and fall in love and be happy. Bernard is just such a gentleman. I can see why mom got swept off her feet," Drew, Cartwright's son says to KVUE.

The couple plan to spend their remaining days together no matter how long or short their time may be. Love has no timeline and these two are a testament to that notion.

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids.

The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.

The bad news? One phrase:

"When are you bringing them over?"

Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.

Ceramic bowlsThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in black and white floral long sleeve shirt Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.

We all have the same goal.

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

Pop Culture

Emma Thompson's witty, heartfelt tribute to Alan Rickman is one for the ages

May we all have a friend who shares our quirks this lovingly and articulately.

Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman starred in seven films together.

Actor Alan Rickman gave us so many memorable characters, from the terrorist Hans Gruber in "Die Hard" to the evil hero Severus Snape in "Harry Potter" to the unfaithful husband who broke Emma Thompson's heart in "Love Actually."

Though he was often cast as a villain, Rickman's distinctive voice and irresistable screen presence made audiences love him. He brought a unique human touch even to his most odious bad guy characters, a quality that makes perfect sense when you hear Thompson, his friend and co-star in seven films, talk about his character in real life.

In a moving tribute upon the release of his diaries, Thompson shared insights into the virtues and quirks that made Rickman "blissfully contradictory."

Thompson is at the top of her award-winning writer game here, and her words about Alan Rickman are filled with heart, wit, respect, admiration and love. It's truly a eulogy for the ages.

Watch (or read the full transcript below):

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

People love Thompson's tribute to her friend and some have even shared their own stories of their encounters with Alan Rickman:

"A close friend of mine bumped into him in a theatre in London many years ago. My friend instantly recognised Mr Rickman and from nowhere, instantly found the courage to ask him for his autograph. Having neither pen nor paper for this, he asked Mr Rickman if he would mind waiting a moment whilst he collected the items from somewhere, anywhere! The moment became at least 10 minutes or so, and when my friend ran back to a now empty theatre foyer, he noticed one solitary figure. Mr Rickman had waited patiently for my friend to give him what he asked for."

"I was lucky enough to work with him on a film. At lunchtime I joined the line for a meal and as I payed and went to turn to look for a table, someone knocked into me from behind and my drink went flying. I turned and it was Alan, he apologized put his hand on my shoulder and said let me get you another. He came back with a cup of tea and I was so overwhelmed. I was shocked how he was so down to earth and a real gentleman."

"I meet him once in Boots and said hello, he realised it was a reflex to recognising a known face. He picked up an item we both were looking at, smiled and said “well hello there are we going to arm wrestle for this?” That deep tone rendered me mute, I realised it was Mr Rickman and instantly denied needing this forgotten thing, apologised for well nothing really, smiled and backed away. He was a giant of a fellow on and off the stage and will be missed."

"Everything she said is true. I was fortunate to have dinner with him and his wife and his drama teacher. He was charming and friendly and shared some great ideas about directing, which I use today in my theater group. He is missed by many."

Indeed he is.

Here's the full transcript of Thompson's tribute:

"The most remarkable thing about the first days after Alan died was the number of actors, poets, musicians, playwrights and directors who wanted to express their gratitude for all the help he'd given them. I don't think I know anyone in this business who has championed more aspiring artists nor unerringly perceived so many great ones before they became great. Quite a number said, latterly, that they'd been too shy to thank him personally. They had found it hard to approach him. And of all the contradictions in my blissfully contradictory friend (hold on, Thompson), this is perhaps the greatest this combination of profoundly nurturing and imperturbably distant.

He was not, of course, distant. He was alarmingly present at all times the inscrutability was partly a protective shield. If anyone did approach him with anything like gratitude or even just a question, they would be greeted with a depth of sweetness that no one who didn't know him could even guess at. And he was not, of course, unflappable. I could flap him like nobody's business and when I did he was fierce with me and it did me no end of good.

He was generous and challenging, dangerous and comical, sexy and androgynous, virile and peculiar, temperamental and languid, fastidious and casual, the list could go on. I'm sure you can add to it. There was something of the sage about him, and had he had more confidence and been at all corruptible, he could probably have started his own religion.

His taste in all things from sausages to furnishings appeared to me anyway to be impeccable. His generosity of spirit was unsurpassed and he had so much time for people I used to wonder if he ever slept or ever got time for himself. A word not traditionally associated with Alan is gleeful, but when he was genuinely amused he was absolutely the essence of glee. There would be a holding back as the moment built, and then a sudden leaning forward and a swinging around of the torso as a vast, impish grin flowered, sometimes accompanied by an inarticulate shout of laughter. It was almost as if he was surprised by himself. It was my life's mission to provide those moments. I remember Imelda Staunton nearly killing him by telling him a story about my mother and an unfortunate incident with some hashish—it's a really good story, I won't tell it now—I've never seen him laugh more before or since. It was a bit like watching someone tickling the Sphinx.

One Christmas Eve party I had a sprig of mistletoe hanging up at home, and I was loitering under it and turned to find Alan bearing down on me. I lifted up my chin hopefully. He smiled and approached. I puckered. He leaned in under the mistletoe and a sudden change came over his face. His eyes started to glitter and his nostrils to quiver. He lifted up a hand, reached in, and pulled a longish hair out of my chin. 'Ow!' I said. 'That's an incipient beard,' he said, handing me the hair and walking off.

That was the thing about Alan—you never knew if you were going to be kissed or unsettled, but you couldn't wait to see what would come next. And the trouble with death is that there is no next. There's only what was, and for that, I am profoundly and heartbrokenly grateful. So the last thing we did together was change a plug on a standard lamp in his hospital room. The task went the same way as everything we have ever done together. I had a go. He told me to try something else. I tried. It didn't work, so he had a go. I got impatient. I took it from him. I tried it again. It still wasn't right. We both got slightly irritable, then he patiently took it all apart again and got the right lead into the right hole. I screwed it in with a screwdriver. We complained about how fiddly it was, and then we had a cup of tea. Took us at least half an hour, this thing, and he said after, 'Well it's a good thing I decided not to become an electrician.'

I'm still heartbroken that Alan's gone, but these diaries bring back so much of what I remember of him. There is that sweetness I mentioned, his generosity, his champion of others, his fierce, critical eye, his intelligence, his humor. He was the ultimate ally in life, art, and politics. I trusted him absolutely. He was, above all things, a rare and unique human being and we shall not see his like again."