A young girl with her hand over her mouth.
Few things are more uncomfortable than sitting like a deer in the headlights while someone pushes you into an incredibly awkward conversation. Whether it’s a TMI (too much information) conversation or they want to talk about politics or religion, it’s hard to tell someone that a subject is off-limits.
However, in a viral Instagram post, Charisse Sims makes an essential point about these awkward situations: It will be uncomfortable whether you tell them to change the subject or if you have to sit through the conversation. So it’s better to take the option that’s less hurtful to you. Sims is a mother of six and the host of the Parenting for the Culture podcast. She is also an awarded Educator by PBS and PBS Kids.
How do you leave uncomfortable conversations?
She shared the advice while talking to her 9-year-old daughter, who she could tell felt very awkward about a recent conversation. “Immediately, when she started having that conversation, I could see on your face that you felt uncomfortable,” Sims told her daughter in an Instagram Reel. “When you have that feeling, your response to them should be, ‘I feel uncomfortable in this conversation. Let's talk about something else.”
Sims then asked her daughter to repeat the phrase a few times to burn it into her brain for when she needed it. Her daughter then admitted that telling someone to change the conversation would be difficult. Most people probably agree that telling people you’d like to change the subject is uncomfortable.
However, Sims makes a great point. You will be uncomfortable both ways, so choose the one that best suits you.
“Which one is a longer discomfort, taking 10 seconds to say, ‘I feel uncomfortable in this conversation. Can we talk about something else?” Sims asked. “Or, sitting in a 20- to 30-minute conversation that you feel uncomfortable in?”
A woman holding her hand out saying "stop."via Canva/Photos
“It is uncomfortable telling people stop. It is uncomfortable being like, ‘I don't really like what you're doing,’ because you're worried you're going to hurt their feelings, and you want them to like you,” Sims continued. “But it's also uncomfortable to sit there and be uncomfortable for a long time. So choose your discomfort, and choose the one that's going to help you, not hurt you.”
Candace Smith, antiquette expert, says it’s also helpful if you have another topic on deck that the person may be interested in to make the transition smoother for both parties. “When you think it’s time to let the other person know you will change the subject, be positive, and smile. Keep your eye contact warm and direct,” she says, before giving an example: “I’m going to change our subject here. Let’s talk about something cool like the Marvel movie!”
A young girl making a "quiet" motion. via Canva/Photos
Sims' advice is important because it’s something that all of us, adults included, could use next time they are forced into an uncomfortable situation. Her advice is a great tool for making sound decisions when we feel awkward and unable to think on our feet. “I wish when I was growing up, I was taught more how to navigate tricky situations rather than just being told to stay out of them,” Sims wrote in her post. “As simple as that is, It’s not always that easy. Our children need more support and actual practice navigating these awkward situations.”
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