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Health

America’s leading happiness expert shares his most important advice to be a happier person

Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey have continued their quest for greater happiness with the “Build the Life You Want” podcast.

arthur c. brooks, oprah winfrey happiness
via Arthur C. Brooks and Upworthy

Arthur C. Brooks, Oprah Winfrey and their book, ""Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier."

A recent YouGov poll found that most Americans are at least somewhat happy. Twenty-one percent said they are "very happy," 55% are "fairly happy," 18% are "not too happy" and 5% are "not happy” at all.

Those numbers aren’t too bad, but they can always be better. So Upworthy’s Craig Jablin sat down with one of America's foremost experts on happiness, Arthur C. Brooks, to discuss the misconceptions surrounding happiness and the lifestyle choices that can help us live happier lives.

Brooks is an academic, public speaker and author of 13 books, including the 2023 #1 New York Times bestseller, "Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier," with co-author Oprah Winfrey.

Brooks and Winfrey have continued their quest for greater happiness with their new “Build the Life You Want” podcast.


During the interview, Brooks reveals the 3 big misconceptions people have about happiness, in which he shares that perfect happiness is unachievable and undesirable.

"In other words, it's not a destination; it's a direction. The whole point is to get happier. If it were a destination, then you'd be saying, 'I want to wipe out all of my negative emotions.’” Brooks says. “You'd be dead in a week because you need those emotions to stay alive. Negative emotions are incredibly important so you can perceive the outside world accurately. Negative experiences are the only thing that helps you learn and grow. And so you need those things and you don't want to be perfectly happy. However, you can get happier."

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Pop Culture

Brit shares the one-word 'dead giveaway' that American actors are doing an English accent

There's one word they never get right.

via Warner Bros Discovery

Peter Dinklage on "Game of Thrones?

When it comes to actors doing accents across the pond, some Americans are known for their great British accents, such as Natalie Portman ("The Other Boleyn Girl"), Robert Downey, Jr. ("Sherlock Homes"), and Meryl Streep ("The Iron Lady").

Some have taken a lot of heat for their cartoonish or just plain weird-sounding British accents, Dick Van Dyke ("Mary Poppins"), Kevin Costner ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") and Keanu Reeves ("Bram Stoker's Dracula").

Some actors, such as Tom Hardy (“The Drop”) and Hugh Laurie (“House”), have American accents so good that people have no idea they are British.

Benedict Townsend, a London-based comedian and host of the “Scroll Deep” podcast, says there is one word that American actors playing characters with a British accent never get right. And no, it’s not the word “Schedule,” which British people pronounce the entire first 3 letters, and Americans boil down to 2. And it’s not “aluminum,” which British and American people seem to pronounce every stinking letter differently.

@benedicttown

The one word American actors aways get wrong when doing an English accent

What word do American actors always get wrong when they do British accents?

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American. One word that always trips them up. And once you notice it, you can't stop noticing it,” Townsend says. “You would see this lot in ‘Game of Thrones’ and the word that would always trip them up was ‘daughter.’”

Townsend adds that when British people say “daughter,” they pronounce it like the word “door” or “door-tah.” Meanwhile, Americans, even when they are putting on a British accent, say it like “dah-ter.”

“So top tip if you are an actor trying to do an English accent, daughter like a door. Like you're opening a door,” Townsend says.



What word do British actors always get wrong when doing American accents?

Some American commenters returned the favor by sharing the word that British actors never get right when using American accents: “Anything.”

"I can always tell a Brit playing an American by the word anything. An American would say en-ee-thing. Brits say it ena-thing,” Dreaming_of_Gaea wrote. "The dead giveaway for English people playing Americans: ‘Anything.’ Brits always say ‘EH-nuh-thin,’” marliemagill added.

"I can always tell an actor is English playing an American when they say ‘anything.’ English people always say it like ‘enny-thin,’” mkmason wrote.



What is the cot-caught merger?

One commenter noted that the problem goes back to the cot-caught merger, when Americans in the western US and Canadians began to merge different sounds into one. People on the East Coast and in Britain pronounce them as different sounds.

“Depending on where you live, you might be thinking one of two things right now: Of course, ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound exactly the same! or There’s no way that ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound the same!” Laura McGrath writes at DoYouReadMe. “As a result, although the different spellings remain, the vowel sounds in the words cot/caught, nod/gnawed, stock/stalk are identical for some English speakers and not for others.”

American actors owe Townsend a debt of gratitude for pointing out the one thing that even the best can’t seem to get right. He should also give the commenters a tip of the cap for sharing the big word that British people have trouble with when doing an American accent. Now, if we could just get through to Ewan McGregor and tell him that even though he is fantastic in so many films, his American accent still needs a lot of work.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Family

Dad eating breakfast with 3 kids shares handwritten note he received from another father

"We need more men like you."

via Canva/Photos and Tod Perry

A veteran leaves a kind note for a dad at breakfast.

Being a parent is a hard job, and there are many differing opinions on how to raise a child. Plus, every child is so different that knowing you’re doing the right thing can be challenging. That’s why even the best parent in the world can use a little reassurance from time to time. There’s no better example than a recent story out of Fort Worth, Texas.

Dr. J. Mack Slaughter, 41, was having breakfast at Mimi's Cafe with his three young kids and wife. When it came time to pay the bill, the server told him the $85.21 had already been paid by another customer. When they gave him the bill, there was a note on the front: “Thank You For Being A Great Dad," with a hand-drawn smiley face.

“We need more men like you.”

When Slaughter flipped it over, he found another note on the back:

"From a dad to a dad. Thank you for being the dad they need you to be regardless of who’s watching. We need more men like you. Thank you for letting us all see your love for them all.

From,

A retired Army medic"


“I couldn’t control my tears. There was nobody watching for my reaction—(as) the person was already gone. It was just pure kindness,” Slaughter told SWNS. He had been playing a dot game with his kids while they ate and had no idea he was being observed from afar. “Man, this hit me right in the feels!” he later wrote on Instagram. “Random acts of kindness are SO POWERFUL!!! My entire day is changed, maybe my whole month?? I’m just so awesomely aware of the good that exists in complete strangers.”

Every parent could use some reassurance.

The kind gesture was also a great example for Slaughter’s children. “Once I composed myself and explained to my kids why I was crying happy tears, my daughter asked me, 'Dad, who should WE bless today?’” Slaughter wrote. The note also reassured Slaughter who, as an ER doctor, he sees a lot of tragedy. “I see some of the most terrible things in the world, but this reminded me that complete strangers can do miraculous, beautiful things when you least expect it,” he told SWNS.

The generous veteran probably had no idea, but he offered kindness to someone who knew something about giving back. Slaughter founded a nonprofit called Music Meets Medicine, which raises money to donate instruments and instructional time to children with chronic conditions.

The emergency room doctor once had a music career as a member of, Sons of Harmony, as a pop group that opened for big-name acts, including Destiny’s Child and Jessica Simpson.


Sluaghter’s story is a wonderful example of how, even though you may not know it when it’s happening, people out there notice when they see parents going above and beyond. Slaughter could have been looking at his phone, or his children could have been on iPads during breakfast. But instead, he was engaged with his kids, making the most out of their time together, and that is what being a dad is all about.

“I guess I’ll never know who did this or be able to thank them in person, but I promise to double down on being the best damn father I can possibly be,” Slaughter wrote on Instagram. “Parents, don’t you dare fake it, but I’m keeping my eye out for my chance to pay this forward.”

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Joy

Adorable Golden Retriever absolutely loses it when he runs into his vet at a bar

No one has ever been this excited to see their doctor.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

@cosmo_andtheoddparents When you run into your vet in public #goldenretrieversoftiktok #vetlife #animallovers #petparents #goldenretriever #goldenretrievers #doglife #dogmom #dailyfluff #charlestondogs #doglover #charlestondog #brewerydog ♬ original sound - Cosmo

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

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Pop Culture

Mom leaves a 'heartbreaking' gift to flight passengers sitting next to her baby

"That's a mom trying so hard."

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

@callmebelly♬ BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

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Fatherhood

A mom called her partner a 'blue heeler husband' and Bluey fans are smitten

Move over, golden retriever boyfriends.

Kiersten Lyons & By Ludo Studio / BBC Studios

"Blue heeler husbands" are the new standard.

By now you've probably heard of the elusive "golden retriever boyfriend." The concept has been explained and remixed on TikTok and analyzed by therapists over and over, but if you've ever met a real-life golden retriever, you probably get the idea. Loyal, fun-loving, affectionate—maybe not the smartest tool in the shed, and perhaps a little clingy. But overall, Verywell Mind describes the golden retriever boyfriend as "outgoing, easily excited, and game to do just about anything (yes, even the embarrassing things too) ... the classic fairytale story IRL. It's the handsome man who is so unbelievably in love with you and doesn’t want to leave your side. ...You're in a relationship with someone warm, optimistic, loyal, kind, and appreciative."

Can't get too much better than that, right? Wrong!

One mom recently went viral for nominating an even better male partner/dog breed metaphor: The blue heeler.


gif of Bandit, Bluey, and Bingo running through the groceryPresenting Bandit Heeler, the original blue heeler husband. Giphy

Kiersten Lyons started casually referring to her partner as her "blue heeler husband" online, particularly in a series of hilarious Instagram reels where he takes her out for coffee dates under ridiculously silly pretenses, and commenters immediately asked the natural question: What the heck is a 'blue heeler husband'?

So she made another video offering up her explanation, which was about as self-explanatory as it gets. The reel showed a montage of footage of her husband, Bradley, being a big ol' goofball: Dancing with the kids, speaking in funny accents, making everyone in the house laugh. And, of course, the footage also featured clips of Bradley's ultimate hero and inspiration: Bandit Heeler from the hit show, Bluey.

The caption at the end of Lyon's video says it all:

"Ridiculously playful, thoughtful, committed, doesn't like to be late, Bandit in human form, AKA the BEST"

Yes, the "blue heeler husband" is an ode to TV's finest dad: Bandit Heeler, the true star of Bluey, himself. The funniest and most loving dad perhaps in the history of all of television, the master game-inventor, the GOAT. I like to imagine Lyons' concept as the final form of the golden retriever boyfriend when he becomes a father. It's also worth noting that the blue heeler—the real-life dog breed—is best known as a hardworking, intelligent, loyal, and eager to please family pet. While Bandit from Bluey is known best for his silliness, those more subtle traits are just as important.

Turns out, 'blue heeler husbands' are everywhere.

Lyon's explanation reel racked up over 100,000 views on Instagram, and Bluey fans everywhere are so on board. Comments poured in from moms who have their very own Bandit at home:

"Aww I have one of those to ! 😂 best breed you could get"

"got one of these at home myself! It's the best! The very very best!"

"Omg that’s my man too!"

gif of Bandit Heeler dancing against yellow backgroundBlue heeler husbands understand the power of play.Giphy

It's hard to overstate how much the show Bluey has done for dads. It's the best representation fathers have had in movies and television in decades. The show has simultaneously spotlighted all the incredible, hands-on, involved, loving dads out there while also inspiring all of us to be at our best.

Is it completely realistic to be 'always on' the way Bandit and Chilli are in the show? Definitely not. But a lot of fathers (and mothers) have been inspired to say 'Yes' to their kids just a little more often after following Bandit's lead, to be just a little more playful and imaginative, and that is making a huge different in this generation of kids' lives.

(The data backs this up. Millennial dads are spending about 3 times as much time with their kids as previous generations. Bluey isn't fully responsible, of course, but I absolutely believe the show has played a part in reshaping dad's attitudes toward parenting.)

Where do you find your own blue heeler man? Though they're becoming more common, you may still have to weed through a few...less desirable breeds. Lyons, an author, has a memoir coming out that she describes as "a romcom in real life" and the story of "how did I get to having an amazing husband who takes me out for coffee dates.” The book promises a lot of heartbreak along the way but, much like an episode of Bluey, you can probably expect a happy (and extremely silly) ending.

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