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Sacheen Littlefeather, who famously appeared in Marlon Brando's place at Oscars, has passed away

'It feels like the sacred circle is completing itself before I go in this life.'

sacheen littlefeather, marlon brando, academy awards

via Wikimedia Commons

Native American activist Sacheen Littlefeather.

A little more than two weeks after receiving a formal apology from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the abuse she suffered at the 1973 Academy Awards, Native American rights activist Sacheen Littlefeather has died at age 75.

Littlefeather is a Native American civil rights activist born to an Apache and Yaqui father and a European American mother. Littlefeather made history at the 1973 Academy Awards by forcing Hollywood and America to confront its mistreatment of Native Americans by rejecting Brando's award on his behalf.

Dressed in traditional clothing, she explained that Brando "very regretfully cannot accept this generous award, the reasons for this being … the treatment of American Indians today by the film industry and on television in movie reruns, and also with recent happenings at Wounded Knee."

Littlefeather was courteous and nonconfrontational in her brief speech, but still wound up the target of jokes that night. “I don’t know if I should present this award on behalf of all the cowboys shot in all the John Ford westerns over the years,” Clint Eastwood said later in the evening while presenting the award for best picture. Presenting best actress, Raquel Welch cracked: “I hope they haven’t got a cause.”

Littlefeather later said that John Wayne attempted to assault her backstage.

"A lot of people were making money off of that racism of the Hollywood Indian," Littlefeather told KQED. "Of course, they’re going to boo. They don't want their evening interrupted."

Three months later, Brando explained his reasoning for rejecting the award on "The Dick Cavett Show."

"I felt there was an opportunity," Brando told Cavett. "Since the American Indian hasn't been able to have his voice heard anywhere in the history of the United States, I thought it was a marvelous opportunity to voice his opinion to 85 million people. I felt that he had a right to, in view of what Hollywood has done to him."

Nearly 50 years after the incident, the Academy issued a formal apology this past August.

"The abuse you endured because of this statement was unwarranted and unjustified," former Academy President David Rubin wrote in a letter to Littlefeather, CNN reported. "The emotional burden you have lived through and the cost to your own career in our industry are irreparable. For too long the courage you showed has been unacknowledged. For this, we offer both our deepest apologies and our sincere admiration."

On September 17, the Academy hosted an event honoring Littlefeather at the David Geffen Theater for more than 800 people, nearly half of which are Native American. Littlefeather asked them to stand before she formally accepted the apology.

“I am here accepting this apology, not only for me alone but as acknowledgment, knowing that it was not only for me, but for all of our nations that also need to hear and deserve this apology tonight,” she addressed the crowd. “Look at our people. Look at each other and be proud that we stand as survivors, all of us. Please, when I’m gone, always be reminded that whenever you stand for your truth, you will be keeping my voice, and the voices of our nations, and our people, alive.”

Littlefeather was also part of the Native American occupation of Alcatraz Island in 1969 and began acting with San Francisco’s American Conservatory Theater in the early ’70s. Her career in show business was derailed after the Oscars controversy and she claims she was “red-listed” from the business.

But that didn’t stop her from being a vocal activist for Native American rights throughout the rest of her life. She also worked with Greenpeace and served on the board of directors for the American Indian AIDS Institute of San Francisco.

Littlefeather’s niece confirmed that she died peacefully from breast cancer with her loved ones at her home in Marin County, California, on Sunday, October 2. The Academy’s apology in the final months of her life brought a sense of closure.

“It feels like the sacred circle is completing itself before I go in this life,” Littlefeather told the Academy. “It feels like a big cleanse, if you will, of mind, body, and spirit, and of heart. It feels that the truth will be known. And it feels like the creator is being good to me.”

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A 6-year-old designed a custom t-shirt for his first day of school and it's seriously the best

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

Unfading adornments

When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn shows up to his first grade classroom on Monday, he will arrive bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, and she asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make.

Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"

Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

This article originally appeared on 8.2.19

Dad shares family's confusion when his young son demanded 'people chicken' for dinner

It took them awhile to figure it out, but once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Photo by Shardar Tarikul Islam on Unsplash

"People chicken" sounds…disturbing

One of the best parts of having kids is having a full-time, front row seat to the way they interpret and use language as they grow. There's the classic mispronunciations of "spaghetti," of course, but there are also one-of-a-kind terms they coin based on their limited vocabulary and the unique way they look at the world.

Kids say the darnedest things, and as Dillon White shared on Instagram, one of those darned things could be a young child requesting "people chicken" for dinner. Not just requesting, but demanding: "I WANT PEOPLE CHICKEN!!"

People chicken. There are only so many ways to interpret that, all of which could land you on the FBI's radar.

Of course, it was a small child saying this, so there had to be an explanation.

White explained that he and his wife tried everything to get their kiddo to clarify what he meant by "people chicken," including having him draw a picture of what he was wanting. Unfortunately, the stick figure person he drew did not help relieve any concerns that their child might be a cannibal.

Finally, White's 7-year-old daughter came up with a solution that revealed what her younger brother wanted. It was not, in fact, chicken made out of people. Phew.

Watch:

See on Instagram

It's true. Once you see Colonel Sanders' bow tie as a stick figure, you can't unsee it.

Even KFC's official account responded to the video, writing, "You see it once, and you can't unsee it." HA.

White was not alone in his kid seeing the stick figure Col. Sanders.

"The SAME thing (conversation) happened to us 22 years ago!! My toddler was practically throwing himself trying to make us understand that he wanted 'Old Man Chicken'!!!!!! And yup, it was KFC he was asking for. We have referred to it as ‘Old Man Chicken’ all these years now 😂!!" shared on commenter.

"About halfway through we figured out what he was talking about but that’s only because my kids have been saying for years that the KFC man is a stick figure with a really big head. Tell Mason he’s not the only kid who thought that.Lol 😂😂😂" shared another.

"I think I’ve been working with children too long because the instant you said people chicken my brain said 'that’s kfc,' 😂 wrote another.

Other people chimed in to share their kids' hilarious naming conventions for chicken places:

"My son was in tears for 'Pinky Toe.' Turns out he thought the Chick-fil-A emblem was a foot 😂," wrote one parent.

"Lol. My daughter refers to Chick-fil-A as 'foot' because their logo actually reserved a footprint. So interesting thinking of the different ways that children see things that we adults don't. It's amazing!" shared another.

"My kids call Buffalo Wild Wings 'stinky skunks' because from a distance, the logo looks like a skunk to them. We went through a similar very confusing moment to figure that one out as you can imagine, 🤦♀️🤣" shared another.

White is right. We should let kids name everything. They're so much better at it than adults are.

You can follow Dillon White on Instagram here and TikTok here.

This article originally appeared on 2.7.24

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Hospice nurse shares clue she uses to know if someone is dying 6 months before it happens

"Allow the body to be the guide."

via Sabinevanerp/Pixabay

An old woman holding a cane.

Death is the last great mystery that all of us face. We don’t know when we will go or can really be sure what comes next. So there’s understandably a lot of fear and uncertainty that most of us feel around death, whether we’re thinking about ourselves or a loved one.

That’s why Julie McFadden's work is so important. As a palliative care nurse in the Los Angeles area, who has seen over a hundred people die, her TikTok videos shed light on the process to make us all a bit more comfortable with the inevitable.

McFadden is also the author of the bestseller, “Nothing to Fear.”

The nurse’s experience helping people in their final stages has given her a unique perspective on the process. In a recent video, she shared how she can see the first symptoms that someone is going to die a natural death about 6 months before they finally do.

Interestingly, she can determine that someone only has half a year left to live when most of us have no idea they have entered the final stages of life.

@hospicenursejulie
Replying to @Mariah educating yourself about scary topics will help decrease fear. ✨Nothing to Fear ✨- my book- out june 11th #hospicenursejulie #hospicenurse #caregiversoftiktok #medicaltiktok #learnontiktok #nothingtofearbook

What are the symptoms of dying at the 6-month mark?

McFadden adds that people who are dying are usually placed in hospice care when the symptoms begin to appear around the 6-month mark.

"You will have very generalized symptoms. Those symptoms will usually be, one, you will be less social. So you'll be more introverted than extroverted," McFadden said. "Two, you will be sleeping a lot more. And three, you will be eating and drinking a lot less. Literally, everyone on hospice, I see this happen to."

heaven, clouds, ray of light A Ray of light over a mountain. via PIxbay/Pexels

What are the symptoms of dying at the 3-month mark?

You are going to notice more debility,” McFadden continues. “They will be staying in their house most of the time. It's going to be difficult getting up and just going to the bathroom. Again, sleeping a lot more and eating and drinking a lot less.”

What are the symptoms of dying at the 1-month mark?

Something usually begins to happen in the final month of someone’s life. They start to believe they are in contact with others they have lost. It’s like they are there to make the dying person feel comfortable with their final transition.

"Usually around the one month mark is when people will start seeing 'the unseen', they have the visioning. They'll be seeing dead relatives, dead loved ones, dead pets, old friends who have died,” McFadden said. “Again, not everyone — but many, many people will start seeing these things at around one month."

heaven, death, trumpet An angel with a trumpet.via PixaBay/Pexels

Angela Morrow, a registered nurse at Verywell Health, agrees that people in the final stage of life often hear from those who have passed before them. Morrow says we should refrain from correcting the patients when they share their stories of talking to people and pets who have died. "You might feel frustrated because you can't know for sure whether they're hallucinating, having a spiritual experience, or just getting confused. The uncertainty can be unsettling, but it's part of the process," Morrow writes.

At the end of the video, McFadden says that the most important factors palliative care nurses look at to determine the stage of death are eating, drinking and sleeping. “Most people, a few weeks out from death, will be sleeping more than they are awake. And they will be barely eating and barely drinking,” McFadden said.

In the end, hospice nurses “allow the body to be the guide” as they help their patients transition from life to death.

McFadden’s work has brought a lot of peace to her followers as they go through trying times. "My mom is in hospice right now and she’s currently, I think, hours or days from death. YourTikToks have helped me out tremendously," Deb wrote. "My grandma passed away in February, and she experienced all of this. this page brings me peace knowing everything she went through was natural," Jaida added.

"Thanks, Julie. I volunteer in a hospice end-of-life facility, and this helps educate the families. Your posts are wonderful," Grandma Nita wrote.

One of the things that makes death so scary is the number of unknowns surrounding the process. That’s why it’s so important that McFadden shares her stories of helping people to the next side. She shows that death is a natural process and that hospice nurses are here to help make the transition as peaceful as possible.

Smart mom leaves babysitter a list of 'add-on' chores to make more money if she chooses

“You are more than welcome to hang out and watch TV all night, but if you want to make some extra $, these jobs are up for grabs.”

via KIvanKC/TikTok and KIvanKC/TikTok. Images used with permission.

Katrina Ivan's list for her babysitter.

A mother in Missouri has found a way to maximize date night with her husband. She left a note for her babysitter, giving her options to make more side cash by completing small tasks around the home.

The goal was to have a night out and to return to a cleaner and better-organized home. It makes sense. Most of the time, babysitters just sit around while the kid sleeps, so why not make their time more productive and profitable?

Katrina Ivan, a science teacher, posted the list she sent her babysitter on TikTok and the video received over 1.5 million views.

“You are more than welcome to hang out and watch TV all night, but if you want to make some extra $, these jobs are up for grabs,” Katrina wrote to her babysitter, a senior in high school whom she’s known for 4 years.

babysitters, babysitter prices, katrina ivan

Katrina's list for the babysitter.

via KIvanKC/TikTok Used with permission.

When the babysitter saw the list, she was excited to get to work and started cleaning the windows 10 minutes after Katrina and her husband left the house.

Katrina realized her plan was working when she saw her cleaning the windows through her Ring camera. “She was like, ‘Heck ya!' and got to work right away,” Katrina told Today.com. "I left all the supplies out for her so she didn't have to feel weird hunting around for things."

By the end of the night, the babysitter was able to clean the mirrors and windows, organize the toys, vacuum the couch and scrub and organize the silverware drawer.

"I think this is a great opportunity for your babysitter. You’re giving a choice, and I love that," Lisa B wrote in the comments on the video. "This is a great idea!! Sometimes it’s boring to just to sit and watch TV. This makes time go by quicker and sometimes it’s things I would do to help," Del added.

Most commenters applauded Katrina’s idea, although some thought she could pay a little better.

"I think $10 is too cheap for some of these tasks considering the amount of work/size of the mess," Liz wrote. In a follow-up video, Katrina broke down the money she paid the babysitter that night.

@kivankc
Replying to @LISA B │✨ what i'm learning ✨ #greenscreen

Katrina agreed that the prices could go up a bit. "I’ll definitely be restructuring the prices to make this more fair in the future," she wrote. However, she added that she paid the babysitter $75 for the night just to watch her 2-year-old son, who was asleep most of the time.

All in all, the sitter made $28.75 an hour, tax-free. Not bad at all.

In another follow-up, Katrina interviewed the babysitter, who said she enjoyed making some extra money. “That sounds great,” she said.

@kivankc
What questions do you have for the newly famous babysitter? She’s along for the ride, and enjoys the spotlight. Loving the money, and crushing the jobs we leave for her. Sorry friends, but she’s not available to book-this kid is wayyy to busy between date night babysitting for us, earning perfect grades, being involved in a zillion after school activiites, and taking night time Fire/EMS classes at night so she can start her CAREER fresh out of high school. Do I sound a little proud?!? #sorrynotsorry #sillyinterview #babysitter #bestbabysitter #sidequests #meetmybabysitter #cheers #toddlermom #momlife

This article originally appeared on 2.6.24

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Mom says she won't be raising 'tough boys' to avoid this one toxic trait

“See these boys? These are our boys. And we have decided not to raise tough boys.”

Photo credit: Canva

Boys do cry. And they should be allowed to do so.

Parenting has evolved in myriad ways, but certainly one of the more potent shifts has been attitudes towards raising boys.

As a society, we have seen how detrimental the whole “men should be strong and never show emotion” thing can be, and more and more parents are trying to not pass that outdated belief onto their sons.

Still, you’ll definitely run across an adult—be it a parent, grandparent, teacher, babysitter, etc— saying “boys don’t cry!” or “toughen up” from time to time whenever a young boy shows sensitivity.

And that is exactly why a video posted by Jen Hamilton, a mom of two boys, is such an important watch, because in it Hamilton deftly explains how associating masculinity with toughness teaches boys that only one emotion is allowed expression.

Hamilton begins by showing a picture of her sons as she says, “we have decided not to raise tough boys.”

“I might sound crazy, but when you raise your kids to be tough, or you tell them to toughen up, what you're teaching them is how to mask true emotions that they're feeling to appear strong,” she continues.

@_jen_hamilton_ Why we aren’t raising “tough” boys
♬ Paper Birds (3 min) - Jordan Halpern Schwartz

And as these “tough” little boys grow up into men, internalizing and suppressing their true emotion in order to appear strong, they become capable of expressing only one emotion—anger.

Hamilton likened it to pushing down a beach ball into water. Eventually that beach ball is going to explode up.

“When that boundary finally breaks, it comes out as temper. Throwing things, yelling, “ Hamilton says.

Instead, Hamilton and her husband are teaching their sons “to feel deeply” and allow emotions, even the negative ones, so that they may understand them better.”

As an example, Hamilton shares that when her son came home one day feeling left out of something she responded with ‘Hey, that really sucks. And I know exactly what that feels like and it really hurts.”

“ I don't say, ‘Get over it’ or ‘Toughen up.’”

Hamilton asserts that in this scenario, she is teaching her son the value of compassion for others. When they see someone else feeling left out, they can better empathize with them. “But when we say things like get over it or toughen up, you're telling them that those feelings aren't valid and then they are not able to see those feelings as valid in other people.”

Hamilton goes so far to say that anyone who is not taught to validate their own emotions won’t have the tools to empathize with others, and this is what helps create narcissism.

Hamilton also shares that where she didn’t grow up with a dad who had anger issues, her husband did. Thankfully, he has developed his own emotional intelligence in spite of it, and has no problem “getting down on his knees” to meet their sons' emotions head on.

In conclusion, Hamilton declares that she doesn't think it’s ever “necessary or helpful” to expose her kids, or anyone else's, to “harsh situations to toughen them up.”

raising boys, toxic masculinity, patriarchy, parenting Empathy is always worth teaching. Photo credit: Canva

Down in the comments, other adults couldn't agree more with Hamiton’s stance.

“This is what breaks the trauma of patriarchy. This is what saves young males,” one person wrote.

Another person, a principal, shared, “I am always telling boys it’s okay to cry, to be hurt, and to have feelings.”

Still another viewer wrote “Exactly! Help our children to feel safe enough to express themselves, teach empathy and compassion. We need this now more than ever.”

For those looking to break the cycle of toxic masculinity with their own sons, but not sure where to start, another viewer mentioned the book “Boys Will Be Human: A Get-Real Gut-Check Guide to Becoming the Strongest, Kindest, Bravest Person You Can Be,” written by Justin Baldoni. Sounds like a phenomenal resource. You can find it on Amazon here.

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