upworthy
Family

People are sharing the parenting trends that absolutely ‘need to end now’

Here are 21 of the best responses.

Mom looking over daughter with phone; comment overlay
via Pexels

Not all trends in parenting are a good thing.

It’s tough to quantify whether today’s parents are stricter or more permissive than previous generations, but the overall sentiment seems to be that parents are more lenient than they were a few decades back.

A 2015 poll by YouGov found that younger Americans are more likely than their elders to have been raised by “not very strict” or “not at all strict” parents. Thirty-nine percent of under-30s say that their parents weren't very strict or not strict at all, compared to only 15% of over-65s.

Nicola Kraus, author of The Nanny Diaries, believes that it’s a natural outgrowth of the fact that we know a lot more about children than we did in the past.

“We are deeply aware that our children are cognizant, conscious humans in a way previous generations weren't aware. Children were treated like pets or, worse, release valves for their parents' stresses and fears, then expected to magically transform into healthy, functional adults,” she writes.

But this change in parenting has encouraged other trends that many think are creating a greater number of entitled young adults who can’t fend for themselves. These days we have helicopter parents, bulldozer parents, and dependent parents whose overinvolvement in their children’s lives renders them incapable of becoming fully integrated adults.

Reddit user u/qquackie asked the online forum,"What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?" and got an overwhelming number of responses from people who think that today's parents are raising entitled children. Many of the responders think that parents are being too sensitive with their children and they don’t provide firm boundaries. They also think it’s a big problem for kids to think they’re the center of the universe.

Here are 21 of the most popular responses to the parenting question.

1. Pretending that not parenting is parenting

"I won't tell my child to stop kicking your leg repeatedly because i don't want to crush his spirit!' — StoicDonkey

2. ​Denying your kid any negative experiences or emotions

"They are a normal part of being a person, teach them to handle negative emotions now before you send them out into a world they are not prepared to handle." — IAmRules

3. Fake “gentle parenting”

"You hear and see so many parents letting their children do whatever they want, no matter how destructive, rude or hurtful their behaviours are. Parents find themselves beholden to the whims of their childrens’ emotions in the name of gentle parenting, instead of true gentle parenting where (so I hear) boundaries are set alongside validating emotions." — candianuk

4. Not setting clear boundaries

"You are the adult, not the kid. Children benefit sooo much more from clear rules and consequences." — NorthWeight3580

5. The “bulldozer” parent

"The parent who removes all obstacles/challenges from a child’s life so they don’t learn about perseverance, problem solving, failure (sometimes you can try hard and still not get the reward) and learning from mistakes - unless the goal is to develop a highly anxious person - then, being a bulldozer parent is great." — spinefexmouse

6. Stage-mom syndrome

"Abusing the talents of your child just to boost your self image in society." — sweettooth_92

7. Nonstop supervision

"Hovering over them at every turn. Whatever happened to tossing them in a play area in another room and letting them create, explore, and get the occasional bumps?" — ansibley

8. Not believing the teacher

"'My kid never lies to me.' Seriously. Parents absolutely should be their kid’s biggest supporter. But support sometimes means holding the kid responsible when they don’t do the right thing." — jdith123

9. "No talking back!"

"If this also counts... Parents who punish their kids for speaking up or otherwise explaining something, saying that they're 'talking back.' I honestly don't get why most parents refuse to admit they're not always right sometimes. Besides, what if their kid one day comes up to them and says another adult is touching them inappropriately?" — EntryRepresentative5

10. Helicopter parenting

"Kids need freedom to explore the world, get dirty, engage in free play. I am not advocating putting the child outside on a Saturday morning and telling them to come home when the street lights come on, but an age acceptable level of freedom." — Cat_Astrophe_X

11. Pushing them too hard

"Pushing them too hard in sports, academics, etc. Like pushing til they need therapy or get injured, no free time, no downtime. FFS, they only get to be young & without excessive responsibilities once." — Oh-Oh-Ophelia

12. Tablets in public

"Loud cartoons and games on tablets in public places." — StarrCreationsLLC

13. Potty training too late

"Oh man, I’m a nanny and work in daycare. I can talk so much about this. One is late potty training. Waiting to potty train a child is more and more common. Which I generally agree with. Wait until they’re 2.5-3 and knock it out. Some take longer, some are probably ready earlier. Better than rushing it and causing issues. What this has turned into. Not potty training. I nanny a 4 year old that is still in pull ups. She is more than capable of using the potty. Our 4 year old classroom just installed a diaper genie because so many 4 year olds are starting preschool in diapers. My best friend who is a Kindergarten teacher had 2 kids start kindergarten in diapers. Luckily they’re potty trained now." — cleaning-meaning

14. Kids on social media

"Creating social media channels for your children where they proceed to upload videos and photos of their kids. Perfect place for pedophiles." — AJSK18

15. Too much structure

​"I guess the overall trend of prioritizing academics/extracurriculars and college admissions over everything else. Give your kids some chores and let them hang out with their friends outside of structured sports and musical activities!" — hausfrau224

16. Tablet addiction

"Constantly giving your kid(s) a tablet or cellphone to keep them busy because you can't be bothered to actually be a parent or pay attention to them." — ZRuneDemonX

17. Letting the kid make all the choices

"I believe kids should have reasonable choices, like what their snack is and the character that's on their bedspread, but you can't let your 3 year old decide when you're allowed to leave your house. The world doesn't work that way." — cihojuda

18. Silence

"Saying 'what goes on in this house, stays in this house.' I know hundreds of victims of abuse, go through years of pain because of this phrase." — Dixie_Maclant

19. Birthdays

"The social media trend that keeps upping the expectations for birthday parties and any celebration connected to a kid. When I was a kid, birthdays consisted of a handmade invitation made by me, a cake from the grocery store, food that my Mom cooked and then inviting some friends and family over for games. Today's expectation is that every monthversary and half-birthday consist of a huge arch of balloons that will end up in the trash, a customized three-tier fondant cake, gift wrapping that color-coordinates with the themed party favors and of course, a very intentional outfit for the numerous photo ops that will take up most of the day. Anything for the 'gram, right? Don't even get me started on gender reveal announcements." — littlebunsenburner

20. Parent, not friend

"Trying to be your kid's 'friend,' not a parent. A parent is there to provide guidance and responsible behavior to model. Yes, sometimes making their actions have consequences and setting boundaries can be difficult and they'll not be too happy with you. That's part of the job. Ultimately I think that will result in a healthier relationship than being the "cool" permissive parent. I've seen results of that style of (not) parenting with very sad outcomes." — DataPlenty

21. You're not special

"Perpetuating the myth that one's children are somehow special. With about 97% certainty, they are not. Teaching them that they are just sets them up for crushing disappointment down the road. It's far better to raise kids to believe they are ordinary people with a few gifts, but also some flaws and weaknesses." — AssistantToTheSensei


This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Badge
O Organics
O Organics
Popular

Dad's heartfelt lunch message shows how simple, everyday acts can change lives

You can make a huge difference by using O Organics.

via Meg Sullivan (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

A volunteer hands out food in a food bank and Meg Sullivan shares her dad's kind gesture.

When we consider people who have had a positive impact on the world, we often think of those who have made grand gestures to improve the lives of others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, or Mahatma Gandhi. Unfortunately, that type of effort is out of reach for the average person.

However, O Organics would like to remind everyone that they can positively impact the world through small, consistent acts of kindness that add up over time. Much like how a small creek can create a valley over the years, we can change lives through small, consistent acts of kindness.

O Organics is dedicated to the well-being of all by nourishing people everywhere with delicious organic foods grown by producers who meet USDA-certified organic farming standards.

Upworthy's Instagram page recently posted a touching example of everyday kindness. Meg Sullivan shared how her father, Tom, peeled oranges for her lunch just about every day from kindergarten through high school. But on the final day of her senior year of high school, he sent his 17-year-old daughter unpeeled oranges with a touching note about how she’d have to start peeling them for herself.



“It’s Time Baby Girl,” he wrote on a wikiHow printout on how to peel an orange with a drawing of himself crying. For the father, this daily ritual was about more than just making lunch; it was about showing that he cared by going the extra mile. “I could have put money on her lunch account,” Tom told Today.com. “But it’s one of those little things I thought was important, that she knows somebody’s taking the time to take care of her.”

The small, daily gesture taught Megan an essential lesson in kindness.

The post reminded people how their fathers’ small acts of kindness meant so much to them. “My dad peeled my oranges until I graduated high school, too. Now, I peel my daughter’s oranges and will for the next 7 plus years,” Katie wrote in the comments. “Love this. My dad peeled mine, too. When I moved out, he gave me an orange peeler gadget,” Mary added.

o organics, albertson's giving backO Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list.via Albertson's

Did you know that every time you go to the supermarket, you can also change the world through small gestures? O Organics not only allows you to feed your family delicious and nutritious organic food, but each purchase also gives back to help people and communities facing food insecurity.

Through contributions from customers like you, O Organics donates up to 28 million meals annually. The company’s contribution is essential when, according to the USDA, 47.4 million Americans live in food-insecure households.

O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal,” Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products, said in a statement.

O Organics now offers over 1500 items, from dairy products such as eggs and milk to packaged meats and breakfast staples such as cereal bars, granola and oatmeal. You can also enjoy affordable organic produce with O Organics’ fresh salads and fruit.

Everybody wants to make the world a better place. With O Organics, you can feed your family healthy, organic food every time you go to the market while paying it forward by contributing to the company’s efforts to end food insecurity nationwide. That’s a small, daily gesture that can amount to incredible change.

From Your Site Articles
o organics
Celebrity

In 2006, the Oscars secretly pressured Heath Ledger to make fun of gay people. He wasn't having it.

Jake Gyllenhaal shared the story of his late Brokeback Mountain co-star's kindness.

hu.m.wikipedia.org
Fájl:Heath Ledger.jpg – Wikipédia

Heath Ledger stayed true to his convictions. He stood up for what he believed in, and it didn't matter if it was in a casual conversation with a friend, on a press junket, or at the Oscars. In a resurfaced video making the rounds, Heath was on the Brokeback Mountain press tour and was asked by an interviewer, "How do you respond to people who suggest this is disgusting?"

Heath seems initially taken aback by the question. He ponders for a moment and then says, "Well, I think it's immature, for one. I think it's an incredible shame that people go out of their way to voice their disgust or negative opinions about the way two people wish to love one another."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


He then expresses how some might be focusing on the wrong things. "At least voice your opinions on how two people share hate and violence and anger towards each other. Isn't that more important? I think so."

Brokeback Mountain is a 2005 film starring Ledger alongside Jake Gyllenhaal, about two sheep herders in Wyoming who find love with one another. It was adapted from a short story by Annie Proulx, originally published in The New Yorker in 1997.

mountain GIFGiphy

In discussing the movie itself (which won three Academy Awards in 2006, including Best Director for Ang Lee, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Original Score), Heath explained, "It's obviously about two men in love. It's gay-themed and easily labeled. The pure fact of it is, it transcends labels. It's the story of two human beings—two souls who are in love."

He truly wanted to make sure that audiences (including the press) understood the entire point of the film. "We're showing that love between two men is just as infectious and emotional and strong and pure as it is with heterosexual love."

While this clip has popped up many times over the years, an interview with Jake Gyllenhaal in 2020 definitively confirmed how important these themes were to Heath. In an interview with Another Man magazine, he discusses how the whole production came together. “There are things you’re chosen for—a quality, an essence—and Ang did that. And it’s still a mystery to me. And something that Heath and I shared: that it was a mystery to us at the time.”

Jake emphasized that Heath put his foot down when some writers of the Oscars telecast wanted to make light of Brokeback Mountain. "I mean, I remember they wanted to do an opening for the Academy Awards that year that was sort of joking about it. And Heath refused. I was sort of at the time, 'Oh, okay... Whatever.' I'm always like, 'It's all in good fun.' And Heath said, 'It's not a joke to me. I don't want to make any jokes about it.'"

According to WION News, Jake reminisced, "That's the thing I loved about Heath. He would never joke. Someone wanted to make a joke about the story or whatever, he was like, 'No. This is about love. Like, that's it, man.'"

From Your Site Articles
heath ledger
Heroes

Little League player comforts distraught pitcher whose errant throw hit him in the head

An unforgettable moment.

Photo by Jordan Rowland on Unsplash

A viral video from a Little League game has people celebrating good sportsmanship.

Youth sports have gotten more intensely competitive, to the point where overeager parents and coaches have to regularly be reminded to take it down a notch. So when humanity takes precedence over team rivalries, it's extra heartwarming.

And considering how many "kids these days" laments we see coming from older generations, it's also heartening to see kids showing excellent character qualities when no one directly asked them to.

A viral video from a Little League baseball game is giving us a nice dose of both—good sportsmanship and basic human kindness from two players from opposing teams.

As reported by USA Today, Isaiah (Zay) Jarvis, a batter from Oklahoma, took a pitch from Texas East pitcher Kaiden Shelton right to the side of his helmet. It was a hard blow that caused Jarvis to spin around and crumble to the ground, grabbing his head. The replay in slow motion shows that the ball basically just knocked his helmet off, though it was undoubtedly jarring and probably painful as well.

Jarvis was able to continue playing, but Shelton was shaken up. No matter how fierce the competition, no one wants to be responsible for injuring another person. He was visibly upset on the mound, so Jarvis left first base and approached him.

Watch the classy interchange:

That a kid this age would approach a player who hit him with a ball and comfort him with a hug, especially knowing that all eyes were on him, is just so lovely. Someone raised this young man to put people's feelings ahead of competitiveness and not worry about what others might think.

And the fact that the pitcher was so distraught at the possibility of having hurt someone is also so sweet. This was a moment that showed the true character of both of these boys, and both of them exemplified caring and compassion.

People praised the boys' empathy and humanity.

"Both of those boys are what you want your kids to aspire to," wrote one commenter. "One willing to forgive and knows it wasn't intentional and the other showing remorse and sorrow. I love it!!"

Good sportsmanship all around. Love to see it. Big kudos to these kiddos and whoever raised them.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
sportsmanship
Education

Job recruiter is surprised when candidate put 671-day streak for Japanese Duolingo on his resume

Clever idea? Or just resume fluff?

@bllshfrv/Reddit, Wikipedia

Nearly two years of learning a language…something's had to have stuck.

In the age of algorithms and keywords and incredibly steep competition, people have to be more strategic and creative than ever to secure a good job. Especially when it comes to drafting a resume that stands out amongst hundreds of others.

Recently, one job recruiter was so impressed by one job seeker’s clever idea of listing their 671-day Duolingo streak—alongside a fluency in English and limited American Sign Language —under the "languages" section in their resume that he decided to share it online.

According to Newsweek, the job recruiter, named Bilal Ashrafov, was pleasantly surprised, and had even considered including something similar on his own resume, “but wasn't sure if it would come across as professional.”

“Seeing someone take that first step made me reflect on its relevance,” he said, noting that “a long-standing Duolingo streak can demonstrate dedication and continuous learning,” even if the popular app only requires a minute of practice a day.

After sharing the resume onto Reddit, others seemed to agree, and commended the potential employee for their innovative approach.

Someone sent a resume with their Duolingo streak under ‘Languages’
byu/bllshrfv induolingo

"Imagine explaining that in an interview—'I'm not just consistent, I'm Duolingo consistent!'" one viewer quipped.

Another commented, "If I was hiring, I would definitely interview this person."

Still another said, "It got noticed, didn't it? Sounds like not too bad of an idea."

Considering that there are a few ways folks can keep their Duolingo streak intact without truly getting proficient in a language, like continuing to purchase streak freezes, this idea might never take on as the new resume must-have. But, on a much broader scale, this story highlights the need to bring a bit of ourselves to our resumes. As the concept of portfolio careers, or a career that includes multiple income streams, rather than a single job title, becomes more and more mainstream, we’ve seen people find great success in listing what they uniquely bring to the table, professional or otherwise.

When it comes to adding resume items that pop, and offer a true reflection for who you really are, think about including:

Soft skills:

These are personal qualities that describe how you work and interact with others, such as conflict resolution or time management, and they are not only gaining importance across the workforce, but are highly transferable across different types of work.

Personal projects:

Whether you got paid for these isn’t paramount here. If you led a community initiative your passionate about, or even have a long-standing blog about something that interests you, this could be included.

Technical skills beyond the job description:

Do you have a proficiency in certain programs, like coding languages, data visualization, project management, etc? Even if a job doesn’t specifically ask for these skills, they could be helpful additions.

Creative or unique hobbies:

You never know what interesting conversations your oddball pastime might inspire, if anything else. So don’t be embarrassed if you’re a wiz a Photoshopping old-timey puppy portraits or engage in recreating Scandinavian folk tunes with GarageBand.

Community involvement:

This can be your volunteering roles, and mentorship programs you might have participated in, or even charities you have close ties to.

Academic achievements:

Include relevant published research papers or presentations, and awards or honors you received during your studies, or any significant contributions you might have made to a research project

These are just a few suggestions to get you started. Include a few, or perhaps your own impressive Duolingo streak, or something else. Just remember, sometimes it pays to think outside the box.

From Your Site Articles
jobs
Pop Culture

She bought the perfect wedding dress that went viral on TikTok. It was only $3.75.

Lynch is part of a growing crowd of newlyweds going against the regular wedding tradition of spending loads of money.

TikTok

Making a priceless memory.

At first glance, one might think that Jillian Lynch wore a traditional (read: expensive) dress to her wedding. After all, it did look glamorous on her. But this 32-year-old bride has a secret superpower: thrifting.

Lynch posted her bargain hunt on TikTok, sharing that she had been perusing thrift shops in Ohio for four days in a row, with the actual ceremony being only a month away. Lynch then displays an elegant ivory-colored Camila Coelho dress. Fitting perfectly, still brand new and with the tags on it, no less.

You can find that exact same dress on Revolve for $220. Lynch bought it for only $3.75.


The bride-to-be’s video quickly went viral, racking up 2.6 million views. People were floored that Lynch was able to find such a huge deal on a dress that seemed to be made just for her.

@jilly_lynch

so happy with all these finds 🤍

♬ original sound - Jillian

“Honestly, brides pay 1000s of dollars to look that good in a white slip dress like that, I think you’re rocking it & it’s perfect,” complimented one person.

OK, maybe it did cost her a little more than $3.75. In an interview with Insider, Lynch disclosed that she did make some customizations based on suggestions from the comments—”elevating” the gown with nonadjustable shoulder straps, taking in the waist and adding a “demure” bit of lace to the front slit.

Altogether, those alterations totaled out to $110. Add to that some $8 shoes (also thrifted, of course) and Lynch still created an entire wedding look for only $113.75. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a steal.

Lynch is part of a growing line of newlyweds going against the regular wedding tradition of spending loads of money. And she might be better off for it. Research has shown that when it comes to creating happy long-lasting marriages, frugality oftens beats extravagance. With the average wedding cost at around $19,000, and the average wedding dress costing $1800, it certainly makes sense. Weddings are supposed to be fun, celebratory and joyous. It can be hard to feel any of those things when financial stress is involved. Who would want to start off a (hopefully) lifelong partnership that way? Save that money for the honeymoon, I say! Or the gas station!

Still, Lynch didn’t say no to every wedding tradition. As she walked down the aisle in her gorgeous discounted gown, looking like a Grecian goddess, her father walked right alongside her. "I could see how much it meant to him, and it actually ended up meaning a lot to me," she told Insider.

@jilly_lynch

♬ Put Your Head On My Shoulder - Paul Anka

And perhaps most important of all—Lynch felt good in her own skin on her big day. "I don't think I've ever felt that great in something. That's what brides should feel on their wedding day, like they're at their peak beautiful self. That's exactly how I felt when I put it on."

It doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg to make lasting memories. And when you are able to show up for life’s big moments authentically, that feeling is priceless.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
weddings
Innovation

A small boat made by middle schoolers sailed across the ocean all the way to Norway

This is pretty much the coolest school project ever.

Facebook

The Rye Riptide washed up on the shores of Norway.

This story brings a whole new meaning to the word friendship.

In October 2020, the middle schoolers of Rye Junior High, in Rye, New Hampshire, bid a bon voyage to their handmade mini-boat, which set sail off the coast of New Hampshire to who-knows-where.

Measuring only 5.5 feet, the “Rye Riptides” was indeed a small ship. It ran crewless, but carried a bountiful cargo of colorful artwork made by students, along with a GPS tracking device that reported the boat’s location … sometimes.

Cut to 462 days and 8,300 miles later, and what started out as a simple science project became a surprise discovery for some Norwegian sixth graders, and a fun new connection across the Atlantic.

Rye Junior High had partnered with Educational Passages, a nonprofit organization that aims to connect students around the world to the ocean and each other. Once the kit arrived, the kids started building while learning about ocean currents, science and math. However, science teacher Sheila Adams shares that the more artistic, right-brained activities equally found their way into the curriculum. “The students needed to use their writing skills to inform others about their mini-boat project, describe our school and town to people of other languages, just in case, and write requests to get the boat deployed,” she said in a release.

…not me feeling jealous of some middle schoolers right now…

COVID-19 nearly threatened to knock the Rye Riptides off its course. The boat had been constructed, but not yet decorated, when students were moved to taking class online. Then, there was the matter of launching the boat. Which Cassie Stymiest, director of Educational Passages, noted was “challenging with all the restrictions in place.” Luckily, creativity, resourcefulness and a little technology saved the day. Working remotely, each piece of art was done at home, then scanned, printed and made into a collage. Then, Ms. Stymiest connected with the Sea Education Association (SEA), which set the Rye Riptides on its journey.

Seriously, my inner child is geeking out with this stuff.

Would the boat make it to Europe? Rye student Solstice Reed wasn’t so sure. “Honestly, I thought it would sink,” she admitted to the Portsmouth Herald. Considering the boat was cruising the ocean waters during hurricane season, the skepticism was well-founded. During the more tumultuous periods, the GPS signal only came in intermittently. And for a long while, there was nothing but radio silence.

But then, at long last, on the small Norwegian island of Smøla, the Rye Riptides successfully made it to dry land. Sure, it was a bit dismantled and covered in barnacles, but inside, all the adorable trinkets remained intact. The Smøla students peered with wonder into their bounty of photos, signed facemasks, fall leaves, acorns and state quarters, gifts sent out almost two years ago.

The voyage of the small boat has gone viral in a big way, sailing across social media, and making headlines. And now, Educational Passages plans on facilitating video meet-ups between Rye Junior High and the school in Norway, “to continue building this new relationship to learn from each other and about the shared Atlantic Ocean between them.” Plus, NPR reports, the students of Smøla would be writing a letter to their new American friends.

Human connection found its way across the sea in the most wholesome and magical way. It’s really cool to see that educational programs like this exist, impacting both the hearts and minds of young students. Mission, successful.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
education
Trending Stories