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Comedian debunks the popular '50% of marriages end in divorce' myth in viral video

Comedian and writer Alex Falcone explains how this "dumb statistic" is just plain wrong.

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@alex_falcone/TikTok

How did we all come to believe this very inaccurate statistic?

We’ve all heard the statistic that “50% of marriages end in divorce” at least once in our adult lives. And considering that many of us probably know a few couples that have gotten divorced (including our own parents) we probably never gave its validity much of a second thought.

But romantics, rejoice! For this cynical statistic is, irrefutably, false. Recently comedian Alex Falcone took to TikTok to debunk this commonly believed myth.

In a now viral video, Falcone begins by saying that “first of all, it’s a dumb thing to measure,” because “until the 1970s, divorce law was very different. So really, it would have been a measurement of what percentage of couples are trapped in bad situations.”

What makes this a “dumb statistic,” Falcone continues, is that it doesn’t consider the duration of any marriage—from “the couple that held hands while the water came in on the Titanic counts exactly the same as someone who got hit by a bus on their honeymoon” to the “overachievers” who are “really good” at getting married and divorced over and over again.

Essentially, “if someone gets divorced five times, they get counted five times,” Falcone says. It’s easy to see how this can set the statistic askew very quickly.

But truly, the biggest Achilles' heel of this truism is that it’s nearly impossible to truly “track every single marriage that's ever happened” to accurately determine how they ended, be it divorce or death…not to mention track the ones that are still going strong.


@alex_falcone Unlearning: No, 50% of marriages don't end in divorce.
♬ original sound - Alex Falcone


Of course, you don’t have to take Falcone’s word for it. Experts have been debunking this myth for years (of course, they haven't done it in nearly as entertaining a way as Falcone). According to the New York Times, the highest the divorce rate has ever been was 41%. Elsewhere there are estimates closer to 23%.

And the United States Census Bureau states that divorce rates have been declining over the past decade. We can thank certain societal shifts for this, like people waiting until later in life to get married, and the rise of long term, non-marital relationships.

In 2021, the rate was just under 7%. Again, no tangible ways of getting an accurate assessment, but certainly nowhere near 50%.

So how did this myth come to be in the first place?

The prevailing theory leads back to post-World War II, when the Baby Boomer generation began marrying and starting families, during which there were projections that divorce rates would eventually get that high. So far, they never have.

Bottom line: statistics aren’t always reliable. This is an especially important thing for couples to remember so as to not invoke some kind of self-fulling prophecy. After all, we are far more well-equipped with knowledge and resources to help strengthen our relationships than ever before. So don’t give up on love just yet!

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School responded to a parent's book complaint by reading it aloud to the entire student body

What possible issue could a parent have had with this book?

Jess Piper/Twitter

Schools often have to walk a fine line when it comes to parental complaints. Diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences for what kids see and hear will always mean that schools can't please everyone all the time, so educators have to discern what's best for the whole, broad spectrum of kids in their care.

Sometimes, what's best is hard to discern. Sometimes it's absolutely not.

Such was the case when a parent at a St. Louis elementary school complained in a Facebook group about a book that was read to her 7-year-old. The parent wrote:

"Anyone else check out the read a loud book on Canvas for 2nd grade today? Ron's Big Mission was the book that was read out loud to my 7 year old. I caught this after she watched it bc I was working with my 3rd grader. I have called my daughters school. Parents, we have to preview what we are letting the kids see on there."

The book in question, "Ron's Big Mission," highlights a true story from the childhood of Challenger astronaut Ron McNair, who had experienced discrimination as a child in South Carolina because he was Black. In 1959, when he was nine years old, McNair wanted to check out books at the library, but the librarian told him the library didn't loan books to "coloreds." McNair refused to leave the library until he was allowed to check out books. Rather than give him a library card, the librarian called the police, who ultimately convinced her to just let him check out books.

Seriously, what issue could this parent possibly take with such an inspiring story of a kid standing up to injustice and fighting for the right to educate himself? This was a child who single-handedly changed a library's racial segregation policy and grew up to be an astronaut—a genuine, real-life hero. What is there to take issue with? The parent didn't specify, so we're left to conjecture, but if there's any other possible reason than racism, I can't think of one.

Rockwood Education Equity and Diversity Director Brittany Hogan told KMOX News Radio that after hearing of the complaint, other parents responded immediately in the book's defense.

"They were saying this is amazing that they were buying copies of the book," Hogan said. "One of our parents came out and said she was going to purchase a copy for every second-grader at the elementary school that her children attends."

Hogan called McNair a hero and said, "He deserves to be celebrated. His story deserves to be told to our children. It's important that we continue to move in a space that embeds diverse curriculum."

And the school responded in the best possible way—by announcing the book was going to be read aloud to the whole student body via Zoom. That's how you shut down a bigot. Boom.

Here's Pond Elementary Principal Carlos Diaz-Granados reading "Ron's Big Mission" to students via Zoom and sharing why he thinks it's an important book for kids:



- YouTubewww.youtube.com



This article originally appeared on 9.18.23

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Colts tight end Kylen Granson explains he wants to set good example with the ‘Guardian Cap’

“You’re not soft for wearing one.”

Mark Susina|Flickr and Erik Drost|Wikimedia Commons

Colts Kylen Granson explains why he wears guardian cap

One of the big concerns about American football is head-to-head contact. Even though the players are wearing helmets, slamming into another players helmet or being thrown to the ground during a play can cause significant trauma to the brain. While the NFL has banned helmet-to-helmet contact out of safety concerns, it can still happen and nothing can stop a player's head from contacting the hard astroturf or grass covered field.

Hits to the head whether it's from another helmet or from being tackled can cause concussions which not only inhibit the player from continuing in the game but can cause the player to develop a condition called Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE). According to Indiana University School of Medicine, "CTE is a progressive degenerative disease affecting people who have suffered repeated concussions and traumatic brain injuries, that may occur in some athletes and others who have been exposed to concussions and repetitive head impacts."

That's where the "Guardian Cap" comes in.

The padded cap slips over the hard shell of a football helmet to add additional padding to the players head in hopes to reduce traumatic brain events caused by contact during football.

More high schools have been interested in using the caps after the tragic deaths of students who sustained head injuries while playing football.

The caps have made their way to the NFL as optional use but Colts tight end Kylen Granson is determined to set a good example for his peers, youth and his future children. The tight end took to social media to explain why he still planned to wear his Guardian Cap during the regular season though the NFL made it optional.

"This is a Guardian Cap. All it is, is essentially a little extra padding on the exterior of the helmet. This was something that was first introduced last year and most of the offensive line, defensive line were mandated to wear it during practice," Granson explains before adding that other positions had the option to keep wearing it.


File:Colts vs Patriots 2011 01.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

The professional football player says it was essentially an experiment to see if the caps actually reduced concussion rates, finding that it reduced the rates significantly.

Since the reduction in concussion incidents was so steep, the players were mandated to wear them during training camp with the option to wear them during the preseason games, which Granson and a few others did. After the success of the reduction in concussions during training camp and preseason, the NFL gave players the option to wear them during regular season according to the tight end.


Super Bowl Football GIF by DraftKingsGiphy

"For me it was a no brainer. I just said, 'yes I want to wear it the whole season.' I've never really had a problem with the Guardian Caps, they don't really limit vision. They don't add any extra weight that's noticeable. Why would I not add a safety measure onto my helmet," Granson asks.

He further explains that any thing that adds safety for him as the player, especially when it comes to mitigating long term effects takes precedent for him.

Granson shares that he also believes "that it's part of my duty to advocate for my own health and safety and try to encourage others to also make the choice to continue wearing these.

There's no amount of aesthetic that can outweigh what a TBI (traumatic brain injury) could do to you."


Football: Falcons end season on a sour note with 38-21 loss to BYU ...www.af.mil

While the player goes on to explain the small hits add up, comparing the human brain to "a jello inside of your head," he's also taking this safety measure to be an example to younger players and his future children.

"As someone who wants to have kids someday, I want them to also know, hey dad isn't just telling you to be safe, he also is safe when he played. He did everything that he could to protect his head, to protect his brain, to protect his longterm health. I want to inspire kids to think that health and safety is also cool. You can do cool things out on the football field and still wear a Guardian Cap," Granson expresses that it goes beyond the football field to include children wearing bicycle helmets. "There would be no amount of cool that would be worth walking into a hospital room and your child is in a vegetative state because they weren't wearing a helmet. Because they didn't look dumb."


File:Hassan Hall (53141821467) (cropped).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

The heartfelt, well thought out message was well received with commenters praising Granson for continuing to wear the Guardian Cap and speaking about his reasonings online. Fans and professionals alike came to support the player in his comments.

"As a fan, if it keeps your team's star player on the field instead of on concussion protocol why wouldn't you want them wearing it," one person questions.

"As a speech therapist who has worked with traumatic brain injuries, I was happy to see the guardian caps! Thanks for speaking on this," another writes.


@thekcg83 You’re not soft for wearing one the hits are just as hard you’re just minimizing the repercussions of those hits. ##nfl##nflfootball##nfltok##nflnews##nfltiktok##sportsnews##guardiancap##guardiancaps##colts##coltstarting##coltsfootball##coltsnation##coltsoftiktok ♬ Last Hope (Over Slowed + Reverb) - Steve Ralph


"Fans will come around. Everyone hated the the F1 Halo until it started literally saving lives and now we're all down. We fans can be a little slow but we'll get there," a different commenter reminds others.

"I want you to remember that you helped put a new practice into place without stigma to help other players be safer and do what they love longer," one woman shares while another commenter says, "I'm a TBI researcher. Thank you for advocating for things like this that will increase player safety."

It may take a little longer for the entire league to either opt to wear them or be mandated to wear the caps, but Granson is making the argument simple. Wear the Guardian Cap–increases safety.

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Family

A 6-year-old designed a custom t-shirt for his first day of school and it's seriously the best

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

Unfading adornments

When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn shows up to his first grade classroom on Monday, he will arrive bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, and she asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make.

Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"







Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.


This article originally appeared on 8.2.19

bullying
Family

A mom describes her tween son's brain. It's a must-read for all parents

"Sometimes I just feel really angry and I don’t know why."


It started with a simple, sincere question from a mother of an 11-year-old boy.

An anonymous mother posted a question to Quora, a website where people can ask questions and other people can answer them. This mother wrote:

How do I tell my wonderful 11 year old son, (in a way that won't tear him down), that the way he has started talking to me (disrespectfully) makes me not want to be around him (I've already told him the bad attitude is unacceptable)?

It's a familiar scenario for those of us who have raised kids into the teen years. Our sweet, snuggly little kids turn into moody middle schoolers seemingly overnight, and sometimes we're left reeling trying to figure out how to handle their sensitive-yet-insensitive selves.


Jo Eberhardt, a fantasy writer and mother of two from Australia, penned a reply that is so spot on that it keeps repeatedly popping up on social media. When you nail it, you nail it—and this mother nails it.

"Ah, puberty," she wrote, "It changes our sweet, wonderful little boys into sweet, eye-rolling, angsty, accidentally disrespectful, but still wonderful young proto-men." Yup.

Eberhardt then described a discussion she had with her 11 1/2 -year-old son when he started going through this stage—a conversation they had in the car, which is usually the best place to have potentially uncomfortable discussions with kids.

She told her son that she'd messed up in the way she'd talked to him about puberty, then explained exactly what was happening in his brain.

“I've spent all this time talking to you about the way puberty changes your body," Eberhardt told her son, "and what to expect as you go through the changes, but I completely forgot to talk to you about what's going on in your brain right now. Puberty is the time when your brain grows and changes more than at any other time in your life — well, except for when you're a baby, perhaps. So I really let you down by not preparing you for that. I'm so sorry."

Her son accepted her apology, then asked why is his brain was changing.

“That's the amazing thing," she told him. "Did you know that your brain grew and developed so quickly when you were little that by the time you were about five or six, your brain was almost as big and powerful as an adult's brain?"

"But here's the thing," she continued, "Even though your brain was super powerful, the instructions were for a child's brain. And all the information about building an adult's brain was a bit… let's say fuzzy. So your brain did the best it could, but it didn't really know what kind of person you were going to be back then, or what shape brain you were going to need."

“Now we come to puberty," she went on. "See, puberty is amazing. Not only is your body being transformed from a child's body to an adult's body, your brain has to be completely rewritten from a child's brain to an adult's brain."

“That sounds hard," her son responded.

“Yeah, it is," Eberhardt replied. “That's why I wish I'd warned you first. See, it takes a lot of energy to completely rewrite a brain. That's one of the reasons you get tired quicker at the moment — and that, of course, manifests in you being crankier and less patient than normal."

Eberhardt paused, then added, “That must be really frustrating for you."

Her son looked over at her, wiping his eyes. “It is," he responded. Sometimes I just feel really angry and I don't know why."

It's amazing what happens when we explain to kids the physiological reasons for what they're going through.

Eberhardt continued, “The other thing is that one of the first parts of your brain that gets super-sized to be like an adult is the amygdala. That's the part that controls your emotions and your survival instincts. You know how we've talked about fight/flight/freeze before, and how sometimes our brains think that being asked to speak in public is the same level of threat as being attacked by a sabre tooth tiger?"

Her son laughed. “Yes. So you have to tell your brain that there's no sabre tooth tiger to help you calm down."

“That's right," Eberhardt replied. "Well, that's what the amygdala looks after: sabre tooth tiger warnings and big emotions. So, the thing with puberty is that all of a sudden you've got an adult-sized amygdala hitting all your emotion buttons and your sabre-tooth tiger buttons. That must be really hard for you to manage."

Her son nodded and said, “Sometimes I don't know why I say the things I do. They just come out, and then I feel bad."

This is the moment where what a parent says can make or break a kid's spirit. But Eberhardt handled it with empathy and expertise.

“I know, Sweetheart," she said before explaining:

“See, the last part of your brain that gets rewritten is right at the front of your head. It's called the frontal cortex. And that's the part of your brain that's good at decision making and understanding consequences. So you've got this powerful adult amygdala hitting you with massive emotions, but you've still got a fuzzy child frontal cortex that can't make decisions or understand consequences as quickly as the amygdala wants you to. It pretty much sucks."

“So it's not my fault?" her son asked.

“No, it's puberty's fault your brain works the way it does," Eberhardt answered. "But that doesn't mean it's not your responsibility to recognise what's going on and change your actions. It's not easy, but it's not impossible, either. Your feelings are your feelings, and they're always okay. But you get to choose your actions. You get to choose what you do with your feelings. And, when you make a mistake, you get to choose to apologise for that mistake and make amends."

Eberhardt said she then paused for dramatic effect. “That's how you prove that you're becoming an adult."

It's also remarkable what happens when we empathize and communicate with our kids instead of simply chastising them.

Her son responded with a perfectly understandable and relatable, “Puberty sucks."

“Puberty absolutely sucks," Eberhardt responded. “I'm not in your head, but I can only imagine that it's a mess of confusion and chaos, and you don't know from one minute to the next how you feel about things."

Her son looked at her in surprise. “Yes! Exactly!"

“If it's confusing for you living inside there," Eberhardt continued, "imagine how confusing it is for me, when I only see your actions."

“That must be really confusing," her son agreed.

She nodded. “Do you know what that means?"

“What?"

“It means sometimes I'm going to make mistakes. Sometimes I'm going to get upset at things you do because I don't understand what's going on in your head. Sometimes I'm going to forget that you're halfway to being a man, and accidentally treat you like a child. Sometimes I'm going to expect more from you than you're able to give. This is my first time parenting someone through puberty, and I'm going to make mistakes. So can I ask you a favour?"

“What is it?"

“Can you just keep telling me what's going on in your head? The more we talk, the easier it will be for both of us to get through this puberty thing unscathed. Yeah?"

“Yeah," her son said.

When we let our kids know that we're going through these various phases together, it's easier to work with them instead of against them.

Eberhardt said they "had a cuddle" before they got out of the car. She also said this conversation didn't magically make her son always speak respectfully or make her remember that he's not a little boy anymore. However, it did open up lines of communication and gave them a shared language to use.

For example, she wrote, "He knows what I mean when I say, 'Sweetheart, I'm not a sabre tooth tiger.'"

Ebehardt wrapped up her excellent answer by saying that she and her son are "muddling through this crazy puberty thing" together, and that she's "completely confident that he'll come out the other end a sweet, wonderful young man."

It's always so helpful to see examples of good parenting in action. Ms. Eberhardt's response is something all parents can tuck away for the appropriate time. It's also a great reminder that our tweens aren't trying to try us—they're just trying to get used to their new and improved brains.


This story originally appeared on 1.05.19



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44 years ago he became her protector after a terrible act. Today, they've been reunited in love.

Betsy and Irv are finally getting the happy ending they deserve. Together.

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It’s pretty safe to say that everyone loves a good love story.

There’s a whole genre of music and movies dedicated to the idea of someone being swept off of their feet after circumstances tried to keep them from their true love. Romance novels could single handedly keep public libraries and bookstores afloat. Everyone loves "love" and the story of Betsy and Irv just takes the cake. Betsy Sailor attended Penn State University as a business major, which was almost unheard of in 1978 and Irv Pankey attended the university while playing football. The pair’s paths never crossed, until an unfortunate incident bonded the two forever.


That year, Betsy was at home singing and dancing with her refrigerator door as one does when looking for food, when she was sexually assaulted at knife point by none other than star Penn State football player, Todd Hodne. When Irv heard the evidence against Hodne during the trial, he knew he had to do something about it. In fact, he was the only one on the team who did.

After the assault Betsy moved back on campus, and that’s when she met Irv, a burly football player who understood what it was like to be outcast.

He knocked on her door, introduced himself and offered to essentially be her protection as she traversed through campus. The pair were glued at the hip until graduation. Irv went on to play for the LA Rams and Betsy went on to work in human resources. They hadn't spoken since, until 44 years later when ESPN decided to cover their unique bond that helped Betsy get through college.

And that's when this already compelling tale became a love story.

Irv and Betsy stayed in touch after the documentary was filmed, and when ESPN did an update, Betsy became emotional while talking about Irv. The two smiled and said they spend as much time together as possible. Irv said “We’re riding off into the sunset. Calling it a day. Peace out! I hope we can enjoy each other’s company for the rest of our lives and just move on,” He continued “We’re 65 years old. We ain’t got time to be messing around.”

If that isn’t a love story to write home about, then I don’t know what is. Best wishes Betsy and Irv. You both deserve a lifetime of happiness.


This article originally appeared on 04.29.22

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