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About Those 'Made Up' Names Black People Give Their Kids Sometimes...
I think she has a point.
08.28.14
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I've always really liked cliches, idioms, proverbs, and common phrases that we like to use over and over. They can get repetitive at times, but they're crucial tools in communication. They allow us to convey so much meaning in so few words — a commonly understood shorthand that can get complex points across quickly.
The only problem is that many of the most popular idioms in common use date back hundreds of years. In that time, they've either become outdated, or seen their words adopt new meanings. In some cases the idioms have been shortened or reversed, losing important context. So when someone tells you to "bite the bullet," you may inherently know what they mean — but if you really stop and think about it, you have no idea why it means what it means.
If you're a word nerd like me, you'll be absolutely fascinated by the origin and evolution of some of these common idioms, and how they came to mean what they mean today.
1. Sick as a dog / Working like a dog
Ever have a cold and tell someone you're "sicker than a dog?" Kind of rude to dogs, in my opinion, and a little strange. I've had dogs my whole life and can't remember any of them coming down with the flu.
Sick as a dog actually originates hundreds of years ago, if not longer. Some explanations say that in the 1700s, stray dogs were responsible for the spread of many diseases, along with rats and other gutter critters. There are also references as far back as the Bible to dogs eating their own vomit — sounds pretty sick to me.
What about working like a dog? Dogs are the laziest creatures around! For this one you have to remember that dogs as "pleasure pets" is a relatively recent phenomenon, and before that they had to earn their keep by working tirelessly on the farm to herd and protect the animals.
2. Sweating like a pig
This is an extremely common idiom that we all use and accept. There's just one problem with it. Pigs don't sweat!
So... what gives? You might be surprised to hear that 'sweating like a pig' actually has nothing to do with farm animals.
According to McGill University: "The term is actually derived from the iron smelting process in which hot iron poured on sand cools and solidifies with the pieces resembling a sow and piglets. Hence 'pig iron'. As the iron cools, the surrounding air reaches its dew point, and beads of moisture form on the surface of the 'pigs'. 'Sweating like a pig' indicates that the "pig" (ie iron) has cooled enough to be safely handled. And that's a "pig" you wouldn't want to eat."
3. Bite the bullet
Biting the bullet refers to sucking it up and doing something hard, something you don't want to do but is necessary, and accepting the difficult consequences and/or pain that comes with it. But what does that have to do with biting a bullet?
There are different theories on this. One common explanation is that in the olden days it was common for soldiers on the battlefield receiving surgery to bite down on a lead bullet. You've probably seen people in moving biting down on a piece of wood or leather strap. Since lead is a softer metal, it would give just a little bit between their teeth and not damage them. So the idiom 'biting the bullet' means, okay, this is going to suck, just bite down and get through it.
4. Healthy as a horse
This one has always confused me. As a layman, it seems like horses are prone to injury and have trouble recovering when they hurt themselves. More research shows that horses can not vomit, which means they are highly at risk for deadly colic episodes. Doesn't sound super healthy!
The best explanation I can find for healthy as a horse is that, again, in the olden days, horses were symbols of health and strength and vitality. Which checks out — they're really powerful, majestic creatures.
5. Slept like a baby
To many parents, this common idiom is rage-inducing. If babies sleep so well, why am I so exhausted all the time?!
Yes, babies are notorious for waking up every few hours or at the first sign of hunger or a dirty diaper. It puts their parents through the wringer (another strange idiom!). But to the outside observer, a sleeping baby is pure bliss. They are so innocent and blissfully unaware of anything going on around them — after all, if they're not sitting in a dirty diaper they really don't have too many other things to worry about. Also, despite all their shenanigans, babies do sleep a lot — around 17 hours a day or so. When you put it that way, the idiom starts to make a little sense.
6. Happy as a clam
Clams are a lot of things. Some people find them delicious, others disgusting. One thing I think we can all agree on is that clams don't seem particularly happy, which makes this idiom a bit of a conundrum.
The truth is that this phrase is actually derived from the full version: "Happy as a clam at high water."
At low water, or low tide, clams are exposed to predators. At high tide, they're safe in deeper water. That's about as happy as mollusk can get!
7. The proof is in the pudding
Hey, we all love pudding. But what the heck does this mean? If you're not familiar, it refers to judging something based on the results it generates — but what that has to do with pudding is a bit of a mystery to most people.
This is another example of a shortened idiom that makes more sense when you read the full, original line: "The proof of the pudding is in the eating."
According to Dictionary.com it "originated as a reference to the fact that it was difficult to judge if the pudding was properly cooked until it was actually being eaten. In other words, the test of whether it’s done is taking a bite."
8. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth
I've always been a big fan of this idiom, which basically means that it's rude to over-analyze or criticize something you got for free, especially when it was a nice gesture from a friend or loved one.
But here we go with horses again! This phrase likely originated from the fact that you can determine a horse's age and health by looking at its teeth. So if someone were to give you a horse as a gift, it would be rude to immediately try to see how "good" it was by looking in its mouth.
9. Clean as a whistle
Whistles are objectively disgusting. They collect spit and germs every time they're used. I certainly wouldn't hold them up as a beacon of cleanliness.
So what gives with this idiom? There are several possible explanations that have been proposed.
First, a whistle won't work, or won't work very well, if it has debris blocking up its inside. So you can think of "clean" in this case as being "empty or free of clutter." Another possibility is that, in this idiom, clean refers to sharpness — as in the sharp sound a whistle makes — and that inference has been lost over time.
10. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps
This phrase is commonly use to describe someone who was "self-made" and built themselves up into a success from nothing. Imagine lying on the floor and hoisting yourself to your feet using only the straps on your boots.
The only problem is... that's impossible! And that's exactly the point. This idiom is actually meant to be sarcastic and to imply that "socioeconomic advancement... was an impossible accomplishment," according to Useless Etymology.
11. Have your cake and eat it too
Why bother having a cake if you can't eat it? That's the mystery of this extremely common idiom or proverb (sometimes worded "you can't have your cake and eat it, too")
The explanation is actually really simple. "Have" in this case really means "keep" or "hold onto." So, in that case, it makes perfect sense that you can't eat your cake and also still have it. "You can't have it both ways," would be another way of saying it.
12. Head over heels
Very rarely do people describe being deeply in love without using this phrase. But it's a confusing one, because isn't your head always over your heels? That doesn't seem to be an extraordinary state of being.
The idiom here has actually been flipped over time for unknown reasons. Originally, it went "heels over head", implying upside down. Some say it may also reference certain sexual positions...
13. Pushing the envelope
When I think of radical, risky, or pushing the limits of what's possible, sliding an envelope across a table just somehow doesn't quite capture it for me. But an envelope doesn't have to be just a paper container that you put other paper in. It can actually refer to different parts and practices of an aircraft.
"Push the envelope comes from aeronautics, where it refers to a set of performance limits that may not be safely exceeded," according to Merriam Webster. Now that's more like it!
For many women, childbirth is the hardest and most empowering thing they'll ever do.
Childbirth is a life-altering experience no matter how you do it, and, thankfully, these days we have choices in how we give birth. Epidurals have given women the option to remove much of the pain of childbirth and modern medicine has made c-sections safer than they used to be. However, there are still many women who choose, for various reasons, to labor and give birth without any medications at all. Some even choose to do it more than once.
One mom perfectly captured the experience many women have had after giving birth unmedicated in a video captioned, "So hard but so worth it after." The first few seconds show the mom immediately after her the birth as the nurse is cleaning up the baby. "Ah, gosh dang," the mom says. "That was terrible." Shortly thereafter, a woman's voice off camera asks, "Should I do it or no?" and the mom laughs through a shaky smile and bluntly says, "No."
13M views · 85K reactions | so hard but so worth it after😂🤣🥹 #unmedicatedbirth #unmedicatedlabor #midwife #birthstory #noepidural #epidural #birth | My Infertility FightMy Infertility Fight/Facebook.
But it's a whole different story a few days later, when she's seen all smiles holding her newborn. "Me 4 days later already planning on doing it again with my next baby," the text overlay reads.
How did she go from "Terrible, nope" to "Let's do that again!" in a matter of days? Having had three unmedicated births myself, that flip-flop is all too familiar. It's common to reach a place of "OMG WHY DID I DO THIS I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN" sometime in the labor and birthing process as your body is pushed and stretched to its limit. There are moments you're convinced it's impossible and you're pretty sure you can't take another minute of it. How long it takes to get past that point and experience the rush that counteracts the pain varies person to person, but for many women (certainly not all), the overall experience is empowering and exhilarating enough that they end up wanting to do it all over again.
Contrary to popular belief, research indicates that women don't really forget the pain of labor. Like anything else, experiences vary from person to person, but speaking for myself, I still haven't forgotten the pain of childbirth two decades later. The pain part was as gnarly as people describe it, but I prepared for it and did what I could to manage it mentally and physically. Ultimately, I came away from my first birth feeling like a literal superhero with no limit to what I could do. It's hard to describe the power of that feeling, but it's what made me do it two more times.
The mom's video got people asking why on Earth someone would choose to put themselves through the pain of childbirth if they don't have to. "You don't get extra points for that," and "What are women trying to prove?" are common sentiments when someone talks about giving birth without meds, but moms make that choice for a variety of reasons and it's rarely to prove anything to anyone. Sometimes it's because medications come with some risk and they want to avoid those risks, even if they're small. Sometimes it's because women are curious about what the natural process of labor and birth feels like and they want to fully experience it. For some, it's similar to why people run marathons—to see what they and their bodies are capable of. Some have bad experiences with meds or simply don't enjoy the idea of feeling numb or not having control over their body.
Here are some moms' explanations for why they chose unmedicated childbirth:
"I was 100% natural both times because I wanted to fully experience it. The thought of an epidural petrified me more than child birth as well. Like 500x more scared. Wasn't out to prove anything to anyone. WAY before social media was a place to share these things. I just wanted full control."
"Honestly, I did mine naturally purely because as a woman I have always been curious about the feeling of labor and delivery. It’s just something I had to experience and honestly I really enjoyed my experience. I wouldn’t say I suffered either. The pain was manageable."
"I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. I was also very worried about the first few days of my baby’s life being with me having a spinal headache which I got from a spinal tap. I did unmedi[c]ated for a 35 hour birth with 12 hours on pitocin for my daughter. My son I labored 30 hours unmedicated then tired an epidural for a few hours since I was heading to a C-section. I hated the epidural—I felt so out of control with it. I so much preferred unmedicated."
""Sometimes it just goes too fast! With my first there was no time, and I hadn't planned on getting anything. I have high pain tolerance, so wasn't worried. The gal in the hospital room next to me had had an epidural. I was the 4th mom to room with her in a week. She was going on her second week flat on her back with a bad headache and other side effects. She was not allowed out of bed, and could not hold her baby without assistance. I decided if I had more children all births would be natural. A woman should be free to choose without people judging her one way or the other."
And that's really the crux of it—there's no need to judge someone's experience, no matter how they give birth. Every birth is different, every person has different preferences, and people shouldn't knock another's choice simply because it's not the one they would make. Instead, let's celebrate the fact that we do have choices that our ancestors didn't have and give one another the grace to share our birth experiences in all their glory without making assumptions or judgments about them.
It takes a village, as they say.
People who work with children—teachers, coaches, mentors—are often beloved by the kids they serve, especially if they're good at what they do. Those caring adult relationships are important in a child's life, but they can also lead to some awkward situations as kids learn appropriate ways to show affection to different people. A baby might cover their mother's face with slobbery kisses, but other adults may not appreciate that very much. As kids grow, they learn what's okay and not okay, not just from their parents but from the village of adults in their lives as well.
A perfect example of what that looks like was shared in a video showing a swim instructor at the end of a swim lesson with a toddler who hugged him and then went in for a kiss. The hug was expected and welcome—"Thank you, Mila. I love Mila hugs!" the swim coach said. But when she started to go in for a kiss, he immediately pulled back, gently saying, "No, no kissy. No kissy 'cause I'm coach. You only kiss Mommy and Daddy, okay?"
The little girl looked a bit dejected and started to cry, and he quickly gave her an acceptable alternative. "Okay, hey! High five!" he said, while holding up his hand. "High five 'cause we're all done!" She calmed right down, gave him a high five, and then he moved on to clean-up time.
Watch:
His expression at the end of the video says it all—he knew that was a teachable moment that could have gone very wrong, but he handled it with clear professionalism and toddler-friendly expertise. People loved seeing such a great example:
"So sweet... I sometimes have young clients who want to give kisses and it's so cute but you do have to tell them "no" because it's an important boundary to learn. Not everyone wants kisses!"
"On top of knowing not to do it to other people, it also teaches them for themselves that other people shouldn’t be just giving them kisses."
"The kid is absolutely adorable but that coach is on another level. Creating the boundaries while keeping it cool and recording the whole thing so the parents are extremely comfortable. Dude is setting a hell of example."
"It sounds like he's got a good balance between encouraging her growth and setting appropriate boundaries. Kids can be incredibly affectionate, and it's important to gently guide them in understanding what's suitable."
Jake Johnson Fox GIF by New GirlGiphy
"I also think it’s important for the parents’ comfort that a grown man swimming with their young girl isn’t overstepping boundaries/being predatory. From the outside looking in, it’s hard to know for sure when something is innocent or not. It’s better to just stay away from those situations as a whole."
"The little girls I used to babysit always tried to give me kisses (they were between 2-5) and I had to tell them that I’m not related to you, so you can’t kiss me. You can hi-five or hug me, but no kisses! They still give me running tackle hugs when they see me!"
A few commenters pointed out that some cultures see kissing as totally acceptable, as it's frequently used as a friendly greeting for people of all ages and genders. But even in those cultures, boundaries based on relationships and contexts are important to learn, and it's helpful when adults help teach those lessons so it doesn't all fall on the parents.
Well done, Coach. Thanks for giving us all such a fabulous example to follow.
Evan Porter/Upworthy
They say Disney World is the most magical place on Earth. Sadly, not everyone feels that way! A lot of parents half-jokingly call Disney a "nightmare" because of the cost and the crowds, not to mention the fact that the overstimulating environment can sometimes bring out the worst in kids. It's pretty amazing to see a child decked out in Mickey Ears holding an ice cream cone and a cinnamon roll and a new toy still crying because they didn't get what they wanted! And then there's the complexity of planning an efficient trip, which can rival the logistical efforts of visiting a foreign country.
And those things can absolutely be true. But you know what? I still love it, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If you have kids of a certain age, there's just nothing quite like Disney. There just isn't.
What surprised me on my most recent trip to Disney World with my wife and 4 and 9 year olds girls was how excited we were just to be there. Sure, I was looking forward to checking out some of the newer rides, like Guardians of the Galaxy, but I was only able to get on most of them once, if at all. It didn't matter. The thing that made our trip special was that we were all together and focused on having as much fun as possible in the time that we had together, which is a big shakeup from our regular fast-paced daily routine. Everywhere you look in Disney World, there's an opportunity to have fun and do something you just can't do in the normal world. That's the kind of thing that makes families think it's worth it, and what keeps them coming back year after year.
Here were some of the simple things that proved to be a ton of fun without a long wait or an extra cost:
Disclosure: My family and I were able to attend Disney World for free as part of a recent Magic of Milestones celebration, but under no obligation to provide a positive review.
1. Riding the Skyliner
Lee/Flickr
Hands down, by far, this was my kid’s favorite thing to do and, as long as you can get inside the Disney World complex, it’s totally free. If you've never tried it, the Skyliner is a gondola transportation system that connects a few of the Disney resorts to Epcot and Hollywood Studios. It honestly feels like a park ride and gives you an incredible view of the Disney grounds, to boot.
We never even had to wait in line, though we never tried to take the Skyliner directly back to our hotel as the parks were closing — it tends to get a little more crowded then.
The monorail isn't quite as fun but is still worth a ride at least once. The boat that goes from Wilderness Lodge to Magic Kingdom is also 100% worth checking out for the novelty, as well. Who needs rollercoasters when you have all this at your fingertips!? You could spend at least half a day just riding Disney's various transportation systems in a big loop.
2. Collecting stickers at Animal Kingdom
Evan Porter/Upworthy
We had a blast at Animal Kingdom, and actually found it to be a more slow paced experience which was nice after a hectic few days. You might think the kids would be dying to go get in line for a ride or beg us to buy them things in the gift shop, but no, they were so thrilled to just walk around and do all the Wilderness Explorers activities: Kids get a little booklet and keep their eyes out for cast members dressed as Rangers, who teach them animal facts or do a guided activity with them before giving them a sticker to keep in their books.
Epcot also has something like this called the Kidcot stations where kids can collect little activity cards from around the "world."
3. Pin trading
If you're willing to invest in buying a Disney pin or two, the kids can have a blast trading with Cast Members at every park. Most gift shops in the parks have a pin trading board where they are obligated to trade with you if you offer!
If your kids like Pokemon cards or any sort of collectible memorabilia, they'll really dig this. We didn't do much trading this time around, but we did snag a few pins and will be ready to swap next time.
4. Spotting characters
Any time we were bussing to and from the parks, my kids would stare out the window and yell every time they saw a new character lining the side of another bus. “Pluto! Minnie! Donald!” They were endlessly entertained, they didn’t even have time to fight or complain about being hungry. Can all of our car rides at home be like this?!
The resorts also have character hunts where the kids can look for hidden cutouts of different characters, snap a selfie with them, and receive a prize — which is priceless entertainment when you're waiting in a front desk check-in line.
5. Magic Band statues
Caveat, this one isn’t technically free because you need a Magic Band (a special bracelet that acts as your park pass, resort room key, and more). But man did we have fun running around the parks looking for the semi-hidden bronze statues!
They’re interactive, so if you walk up to them and do a certain motion with your wrist, your band will buzz or light up in different colors. It sounds simple, but you’d be surprised how much of a kick the kids got out of this. When we found one, we had to drop everything to make our bands light up.
6. Disney Jr. Dance Party
My 9-year-old has tragically aged out of loving the Disney Jr. characters like Vampirina, Fancy Nancy, et al. But my 4-year-old worships the ground that Doc McStuffins walks on, so the entire Disney Jr. area of Hollywood Studios was heaven for her.
The dance party, a show held several times with a day (that usually doesn't get all that crowded), is really hard to describe unless you've done it. Imagine a club in 2001 except filled with toddlers, then swap Lil John for The Chicken Dance and you've pretty much got it. The DJ does an amazing job getting the kids dancing and laughing, characters show up — it's just an amazing time all around and it was one of the most unforgettable experiences of the whole trip for our little one.
7. The fireworks
Any good day at a Disney World park ends with the fireworks show. These are top-notch shows that rival the best New Years Eve displays in most cities, and you can see them pretty well from almost anywhere in the Epcot or Magic Kingdom parks.
OK, full disclosure: Only one of my kids loved this. My youngest one, who has some sensory issues, found them too loud and got scared, even with noise-muffling headphones. Woops! She said she wants to go back to Disney World as soon as possible so she can't be too traumatized.
8. Bedtime stories
In the rooms at the Disney World resorts (and on the Disney Cruises, as well), the TVs have access to tons and tons of Disney content. But my kids can't get enough of the bedtime stories, specifically. They're short, animated picture-book style cartoons that are narrated as if you're having a story read to you. They have them for Frozen, Tangled, Cars, and a few more.
There's just nothing quite like throwing on a bedtime story while we're brushing teeth and winding down from a huge day of fun. It's just so Disney. Now that we've seen all the stories several times, they almost feel nostalgic, like getting a warm hug. If you can finagle some milk and cookies from room service or a dining area, now you're really cooking.
9. The Cast Members
I once heard someone say that the Cast Members are the magic and I have to wholeheartedly agree. Every single person you meet at Disney is so kind, so helpful, and so great with the kids.
For example, we sat down for a quick bite on our first day at the parks and unfortunately had to wait a bit for our food. We had just flown in that day and were already exhausted from walking around, so the kids were getting a little grumpy. While we were waiting, a man who had been cleaning off tables came by and started asking my youngest what she was coloring, asking about the colors, making jokes, and making her laugh.
That's the kind of interaction you'll get almost everywhere you go in Disney and honestly, as someone with young kids, you can't put a price on it. You won't find it anywhere else. In the end, it's really the Cast Members that make parents want to keep coming back despite the costs and crowds.
10. Just being together
This sounds corny and obvious: As a family, we're literally together all the time!
But our regular life is so fast-paced and can get so monotonous. The weeks fly by with early wake-ups, school, soccer practice, quick messy dinners, bath, bedtime, and waking up to do it all over again. We love our life, it's full of joy and love and as much fun as we can possibly cram in to every week. But there's just something amazing about walking away from all the obligations and responsibilities and worries and just enjoying each other on a level we rarely get to.
Sometimes it takes something extreme to break you out of your routines and patterns — like spending a few thousand dollars on a trip to Disney World. But when you're sitting there watching your little one hug Doc McStuffins like she's a real person, and watch your oldest try and fail to be too cool to get a high five from Mickey Mouse, and you're thinking, Damn I love my family — well, that feeling is well worth it. And you don't even need to wait in a long line — or pay through the nose to skip the line — to get it.