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A scorching hot take on why younger people say 'no problem' instead of 'you're welcome'

This slam on cashiers turned into a masterclass on gratitude.

two men on either side of a counter completing a purchase
Photo by Blake Wisz on Unsplash

What's in a response?


Have you ever wondered why people don't seem to say “you're welcome" anymore?

The phenomenon has really caught on lately but it's roots go further back. In 2015, author and professor Tom Nichols tweeted out an angry response after receiving what he thought was poor customer service:



“Dear Every Cashier in America: the proper response to 'thank you' is 'you're welcome,' not 'no problem.' And *you're* supposed to thank *me.*" The angry tweet elicited a number of mocking responses from people on social media.


But eventually one person chimed in with a detailed and thoughtful response that just might give you pause the next time you or someone you know says, “no problem."

two women on opposite sides of a counter completing a transaction

Just because it's different doesn't mean it's impolite.

Photo by Christiann Koepke on Unsplash

It's not about being polite. Our views on gratitude are evolving.

In a response that is going viral on Reddit, one person writing under the name "lucasnoahs" laid it all out:

Actually the “you're welcome/no problem" issue is simply a linguistics misunderstanding. Older ppl tend to say “you're welcome," younger ppl tend to say “no problem." This is because for older people the act of helping or assisting someone is seen as a task that is not expected of them, but is them doing extra, so it's them saying, “I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it."
“No problem," however, is used because younger people feel not only that helping or assisting someone is a given and expected but also that it should be stressed that you're need for help was no burden to them (even if it was).

Basically, older people think help is a gift you give, younger people think help is an expectation required of them.

Nichols took a lot of flack for his comment. But the insightful response reveals something important about gratitude.

The thoughtful response from “lucasnoahs" doesn't apply to everyone. After all, there are certainly a lot of people of any age group for whom acts of kindness and gestures of gratitude are “no problem."

Still, his message conveys an important idea that doing well for others does not have to be a grand gesture. It can be a simple act -- and the additional act of letting someone know that it's really no problem helps relieve any potential sense of debt or guilt the person receiving the gesture might otherwise take on.

Most of the time, doing the right thing is indeed no problem. In fact, it might be the solution to a lot of the daily problems we grapple with.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

Blink, a new documentary from NatGeo, is now streaming on Disney+ and Hulu.

True

It’s December, and we’re all currently in the thick of it: Wrapping presents, baking cookies, and scouring the toy aisles for that must-have gift of the season. But in the middle of all the holiday chaos, it’s easy to lose sight on what the season is really about: making meaningful memories with our loved ones.

From volunteering to building a bucket list to watching maybe the most uplifting documentary we’ve ever seen, we’ve put together five simple and wholesome activities that will leave you and the entire family a little more connected and a whole lot happier. Ready to make memories that last? Let’s dive in.

Make a difference close to home

littlefreepantry.org

A 2023 analysis from the journal Frontiers in Psychology showed that people who regularly volunteered in their communities had greater self-esteem, more self-reported happiness, and a greater sense of personal fulfillment. (Um, yes, please.) If that sounds like something you want to experience as well, then you're in luck: There's no better time to lend a helping hand than during the holiday season. You could shovel a neighbor's driveway, buy presents for kids in need, or—who knows? You might want to be super ambitious, like setting up a food pantry or volunteering as an "interim parent" like this woman, who cares for babies and young children while their adoptions are being finalized. The sky is the limit.

Watch this feel-good, family flick

Get the tissues ready: This is maybe the most uplifting documentary you’re ever going to see. The film, “Blink,” follows a family with four children, three of whom have a rare genetic disease called retinitis pigmentosa (RP). With RP, the cells of the retina slowly die off, leaving a person with tunnel vision that shrinks until they are nearly—or totally—blind.

The parents, Edith Lemay and Sébastien Pelletier, decide to gift their children with incredible sights and experiences so that they can treasure them forever, even after their sight is gone. The film follows the Pelletier family as they make a bucket list and set out on a year-long journey across 24 countries to make some incredible memories.

For some seriously wholesome holiday goodness, stream "Blink," now on Disney+ and Hulu.

Make your very own bucket list

person writing bucket list on bookPhoto by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

To fulfill their dreams, the Pelletier family in the National Geographic documentary "Blink" created a bucket list with every kind of memory they wanted to fulfill, from seeing a sunrise on a mountain to "drink[ing] juice on a camel." (Because, sure. Why not?) Spend some time thinking of your own dreams you'd like to fufill. This is the perfect activity if you're looking for something creative and family-friendly—just gather the kids around for a brainstorming sesh and let the ideas fly. You might not actually complete all of these items (or any of them), but dreaming them up and spending time together is half the fun.

Spread some holiday cheer


Whatever your family’s ages and interests, there are a thousand different ways to spread holiday cheer this season, whether you’re singing Christmas carols door-to-door or just exchanging a warm holiday greeting. If you need inspiration, look no further than John Reichart, 74, who (just like the Pelletier kids) wants to create new memories for his family while he's still able to. Following his wife Joan’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis, Reichart set out to decorate every house in their neighborhood with lights and decorations purchased out of his own pocket. Simply inspirational.

Make someone's life a little easier. 

I need this goober in my life.
byu/kenistod inMadeMeSmile

The holiday season is all about giving and togetherness, but let’s be real, it’s no easy feat. Sometimes we can get stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. One surefire way to make this world a better place is to think of ways to make someone’s life just a little easier, like this mom who picks up her teenager’s bedroom every morning after he goes to school. You could even send a note of encouragement to someone who needs it, or bake some treats and leave them out for a hangry delivery driver.

It’s probably easier than you think to spread the love and leave the world a little happier than you found it.

ntkdagreatest/TikTok

Dynzell Sigers was sick of being small. At 27-years-old and just 5' 5" tall, he decided to undergo an excruciating — and incredibly expensive — limb-lengthening surgery to become, as Skee Lo would say, a little bit taller. In December of 2022, Sigers underwent the first of what would be many surgeries.

Limb-lengthening is not for the squeamish. First, surgeons will cut one of your major leg bones (the femur or tibia) clean in two. Next, a metal rod will be inserted deep into the two sections of bone, connecting them again. Once you've healed from the surgery, you'll extend the rod very slightly with a rotator every couple of months. This slowly forces the body to stretch and grow the leg gradually. As you can imagine, it's a grueling process that involves a lot of physical therapy and dedication, and finally, another surgery to remove the device once the desired growth is achieved.

Most people are able to add about 2-3 inches to each limb lengthened (it can be done on your arms, too!), but Sigers decided to go back and have the procedure done all over again and was able to grow a whopping 7 inches taller. In the end, the surgeries and recovery cost him over $80,000.

Dynzell documented the entire journey on his social media, and just recently, had the lengthening device removed completely — almost two years after his first surgery.

After years of watching him work in the gym, attend rigorous physical therapy sessions, and struggle to regain range of motion, strength, and athleticism, we're all wondering the same thing:

Was it worth it?

@ntkdagreatest

My proportions after surgery #limblengthening #fitnessmodel #fitnessmotivation

Sigers says people he meets notice a difference in him right away, and the transformation has felt amazing.

"You just ooze confidence," he says a woman stopped to tell him one day. "Your smile and you just like, radiate confidence."

"That's the first time I've ever heard that in my life, and I've always considered myself a confident guy, like always," he told LADBible.

Some commenters accuse Sigers of being insecure or even vain. But they vastly underestimate the importance society places on men's height.

The numbers are in, and they are not kind for our short kings. Taller men have been shown to make more money (and so have tall women, actually), get more dates, are perceived as more confident and masculine, and can even be flat-out happier overall!

Being short can also make you be viewed as less successful and attractive, even when by most other objective measures, you're not. Brutal!

Studies have also shown an intense link between height and masculinity. Shorter men who 'believe' in masculine norms are more likely to be dissatisfied with their height than those who don't. In other words, being short can make you feel like less of a man, likely due to all the societal stigmas attached to height.

ntkdagreatest/TikTok

Sigers admits in an interview with NeedToKnow that dating was one of the big motivators behind his willingness to try limb-lengthening, but that the self-confidence goes way beyond scoring dates.

"In my teens, I was once rejected by a girl I had a huge crush on and although she found me attractive, her reasoning was that I was too short and too young for her.”

He tried wearing tall shoes, daily stretching, and other techniques for growing or appearing taller. Nothing was enough to move the needle. Since the surgeries, he's noticed an increase in the interest he gets from women — but it could just as well be from his dramatic boost in confidence, self-esteem, and outlook on life.

"All my life I struggled with viewing myself as a small person and no matter what I did to change it I always felt the same,” he told The New York Post. “Limb lengthening gave me the opportunity to change my life and the way I perceive life as a whole. I have no regrets and decided to share my journey with the world to let other men who feel the same know that there is another option for them.”

Limb-lengthening won't be an option for most people who are unhappy with their stature. It's controversial in some medical communities as it's extremely invasive and, technically, unnecessary in many cases. Outside of that, the process is unimaginably expensive and requires 1-2 years of dedicated physical recovery.

But its rising popularity should give us a lot of pause about how society values, or overvalues, height; especially in men.

In the meantime, Sigers says the $80,000 was money well spent.

“I feel like a new man and as though I was able to get a second chance at life.”

A teenage boy stars at his smartphone.

Studies show that kids are spending a lot less time reading these days. In 2020, 42% of 9-year-old students said they read for fun almost daily, down from 52% in 2012. Seventeen percent of 13-year-olds read for fun daily, down from 27% in 2012. Among 17-year-olds, 19% say they read for fun, down from 31% in 1984.

It’s safe to say that modern technology is a big reason why kids aren’t reading as much. A recent report found that teenagers spend an average of 8 hours 39 minutes per day on screens, compared to 5-and-a-half hours for pre-teen children. So, it’s no wonder they don’t have any time left to crack open a book. A high school teacher on TikTok who goes by the name StillATeacher recently brought the topic up with her class, and they stopped reading for fun at the end of middle school.

“So even those who are like avid readers of the Percy Jackson series in fourth and fifth grade fall off,” the teacher says. “Honestly, there are many reasons to stop reading recreationally, like increased pressure inside and outside of school, a desire to spend more time socializing, and, of course, the phones.”

But the teacher says there’s an obvious reason “right in front of our faces”: the adults. “Adults have lowered the bar for how much you should read as a teenager so far that the bar cannot be found,” she continued. “There are many educators who have the mindset that you shouldn't teach whole books because kids just won't read them.”

@stillateacher

the literacy crisis is upon us #teachertok #teacher #highschoolteacher #englishteacher #education #literacy #booktok #creatorsearchinsights

“I've taught at schools where teaching novels is actually discouraged,” she continued. “And I have conversations with teachers in other content areas who say that they themselves never read books, that they don't think it's important for students' long-term success. All this said, it is not entirely surprising that high schoolers don't wanna read.”

How does reading benefit kids?

The significant decrease in the number of children who read for fun means that many will miss out on the incredible benefits of regularly curling up for a good book. Studies show that children who read for pleasure enjoy improved cognitive performance, language development, and academic achievement. Reading is also linked to fewer mental health problems, less screen time, and more sleep. Findings suggest that kids get the optimal benefits of reading when they do it for around 12 hours a week.



“You forgot empathy,” one commenter added. “People who read are better at empathizing because they have been able to put themselves in the shoes of others and learn about different perspectives, people, cultures, experiences.”

StillATeacher has seen these incredible benefits first-hand.

“But I'm telling you, the handful of kids I teach who do read are built different. Kids who read have stronger critical thinking skills, more success across all academic areas, and, honestly, just a stronger sense of self. Because reading helps you figure out who you are as a person,” the teacher said.

The decline in young people's reading is a serious problem that must be addressed. So, it’s terrific that the teacher used her platform on TikTok to bring it to the public’s attention. Interestingly enough, she says that TikTok is one of the few platforms encouraging kids to read.

“And honestly, thank goodness for BookTok because I think it is one of the only drivers of adolescent reading that still exists,” she concluded her post. “Isn't that sad? Like, the schools aren't doing it, TikTok's doing it. We gotta start a movement here.”

@ACinPhilly/X

He'll never eat poultry again.

It’s hard to say which is more entertaining—epic game show wins…or hilarious game show fails. Wheel of Fortune has provided us plenty of both over the years, and this time, it delivered a funny defeat that just so happened to be holiday themed.

During the beloved game show’s Dec. 17 episode, a contestant named Phil McManus hailing from Palmer, Massachusetts, attempted to solve a puzzle in “Same Letter” category, with the board reading “Chocolate Chestnuts & Chi_ne_s.”

Declining to buy an "I," McManusdecided to go for gold and guessed “Chocolates, chestnuts and chickens.” And while I suppose you can enjoy chicken on Christmas, this was not the correct answer. Not to mention the “E” and “N” would have to be in a different spot. But hey, our eyes play tricks on us when under pressure!

This set up another contestant to name the correct answer (“Chocolates, chestnuts & chimneys”) and for Wheel of Fortune fans to have a field day.

It ain't a proper Christmas without poultry!, one person joked.

Another quipped., “That was my shopping list last weekend,” someone

Still another person said.“When I think of chocolates and chestnuts, the next word I think of is chickens.”

Meanwhile, someone on Instagram shared, “I laughed so loud that my deaf dog jumped out of her bed,”

Someone else asked,“Love Wheel of Fortune but where do these contestants come from?”

But again, we all make silly mistakes when we’re nervous. This moment actually harkens back to another puzzle solving mishap that happened only a month prior. Instead of guessing “Give yourself a round of applause,” the contestant, named Will, guessed, “Treat yourself a round of sausage.”

In a postmortem interview, he shared, “I tell you, when the lights are on, and you know, the stars and Ryan Seacrest, Vanna White, I just went blank."

Still, he was able to have a good laugh about it, and hopefully McManus was too. And of course, it’s not gonna keep us from screaming at the TV at home.

via Global News/YouTube

Newscasters can't stop laughing after trying Leslie Horton's awful artichoke dip.

Eight years ago, Calgary traffic reporter Leslie Horton unleashed one of the most disgusting concoctions ever tasted on live television, and people still can’t get enough of the hilarious video. The team at Global News Calgary was sharing holiday recipes and Horton wanted to bring a fruitcake from a local supermarket, but her sister had a killer artichoke dip that she begged the reporter to make.

What could go wrong with a reliable artichoke dip recipe? A lot, evidently. “It didn’t work out. I’m telling you right now, this did not work out,” Horton admitted while presenting the dip to meteorologist Jordan Witzel and anchors Scott Fee and Amber Schinkel. “I thought it smelled like a barn,” Fee said. “Is it edible?” The crazy thing is that although they were warned about the dip, Schinkel and Witzel still had a taste.

Witzel was brave enough to eat it on a cracker and immediately regretted it. "It's not that bad. It's — the vinegar," he said before spitting it up in a napkin. Schinkel thought the same thing: “That’s like all that I can taste is vinegar,” she laughed. “It burns.” But the funny thing is that Horton swore there wasn’t any vinegar in the recipe. So, where did the strange taste come from?

Horton was utterly puzzled that the artichoke dip didn't taste right. "Do you think something is off? Like, maybe do you think the artichokes are off? Well, ok, I didn't have a lemon, so I just cut up an orange and put that in there. And then, I didn't know what spices to put in, so I put celery salt and oregano in it," she said while holding back her laughter.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Later, Horton admitted why the artichoke dip had such a strong vinegar taste. She used marinated artichokes instead of fresh artichokes. Marinated artichokes are usually made with olive oil, lemon juice, garlic, herbs like oregano and thyme, salt, pepper, and sometimes a splash of vinegar; hence the strong taste.



“It was just another kitchen experiment gone wrong for me, but this time my co-workers were unfortunately subject to my free-wheeling in the kitchen,” Horton later wrote on Twitter. She also noted that she brought the dip to a work potluck, but nobody touched it.



After the video was posted on YouTube, it quickly went viral. Since being posted in 2016, it has 22 million views. Horton said it was “an honest moment of good fun, caught on live TV,” she told Global News. “My co-workers’ reactions were priceless. We all have fails, and viewers like to know their morning team is just like them.”

Here’s the correct artichoke dip recipe that Horton swears is delicious.

2 cans artichokes drained and chopped

1 can chopped green chilies drained

2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

½ freshly grated Asiago or Parmesan cheese

½ to ¾ cup Mayo

Combine all ingredients and cook in oven until hot and bubbly. Serve with crackers and veggies.

Education

The astronomer who discovered what stars are made of almost went unrecognized for her work

Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin wrote "the most brilliant Ph.D. thesis ever written in astronomy" but encountered roadblock after roadblock due to gender bias.

Public Domain

Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin was the first to discover that stars were primarily hydrogen and helium.

If you asked an average person to name influential astronomers in history, Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin likely wouldn't be among them. But there's an argument to be made that she should be a household name. She's the reason we know what stars are made of, but gender bias nearly kept the astrophysicist from gaining the recognition she deserved.

When 25-year-old Cecilia Payne put forth her thesis saying that stars were mostly hydrogen and helium in 1925, it went against the scientific consensus that stars were composed of the same elements as planets. Her breakthrough research proved that hydrogen, the simplest atom, was one of the most fundamental building blocks of the entire cosmos—a foundational fact that informs space research to this day. So why isn't she more familiar to us?

A gifted scientist from childhood

Payne-Gaposchkin proved to be a gifted scientist from an early age, and her parents made sure she had the best science education they could provide in her home country of England. At 19, she entered University of Cambridge on scholarship and soon fell in love with physics. But women in science were expected to study botany, and she soon found herself being humiliated as the only woman in a physics class taught by Nobel Prize winner Ernest Rutherford, a renowned pioneer in atomic and nuclear studies. “At every lecture [Rutherford] would gaze at me pointedly…and would begin in his stentorian voice: 'Ladies and gentlemen,'" she wrote in her autobiography. "All the boys regularly greeted this witticism with thunderous applause [and] stamping with their feet…at every lecture I wished I could sink into the earth. To this day I instinctively take my place as far back as possible in a lecture room.”

She found a more supportive mentor in astrophysicist Arthur Eddington, but even he told her she wouldn't have opportunities in England as a female astronomer after she finished at Cambridge. He did, however, offer her a glowing recommendation to work with Harlow Shapley, director of the Harvard College Observatory, who was starting up a graduate studies program. In 1923, Payne moved to the U.S. to continue her studies at Harvard.

A brilliant thesis thwarted

However, she faced limitations due to her sex there as well. Women played a significant role at Harvard, largely in the role of human computers. In analyzing spectral data that Harvard computers had painstakingly collected and organized, Payne-Gaposchkin discovered that spectra from ionized atoms, like those in the hot outer atmosphere of stars, differed from neutral atoms of the same kind. Combining what she gleaned from her data analysis with a previously untested theory from Indian physicist Meghnad Saha, she produced her thesis, Stellar Atmospheres.

a group of women working at harvard in 1925Cecilia Payne (top row, second from the left) with other women working at Harvard in 1925Harvard University Archives

Part of her thesis was well-received, but the part in which she discovered helium was 1000 times more abundant and hydrogen was 1,000,000 times more abundant in the stars than previously thought hit a bump. Princeton Observatory director Henry Russell, an outside examiner of her thesis, thought the idea that the Sun was made almost entirely of hydrogen simply couldn't be true. "It is clearly impossible that hydrogen should be a million times more abundant than the metals,” he wrote to her. She would not be able to have her thesis accepted without Russell signing off on it, so she did was she felt she must. In her final draft, she wrote, “The enormous abundance derived for [hydrogen and helium] is almost certainly not real,” essentially disowning that part of her research result.

Proven right but without recognition

Ironically, Russell himself would prove her right just a few years later. In 1929, Russell published his own research, which had the same conclusion as Payne-Gaposhckin's but by a different method. He cited Payne-Gaposchkin’s work, noting that his results agreed with hers. However, he did not state that he had originally rejected her (correct) thesis. Later, Payne-Gaposhckin expressed regret at waffling on her findings. "I was to blame for not having pressed my point," she wrote in her autobiography. "I had given in to Authority when I believed I was right…I note it here as a warning to the young. If you are sure of your facts, you should defend your position.”

Payne-Gaposhckin continued research work and taught graduate courses, though she wasn't given the title of "professor" or even "instructor." Officially, she was Shapley's "technical assistant." When Shapley approached the dean and president of Harvard to have that changed, both refused. The president, Abbot Lawrence Lowell, said that Miss Payne “would never have a position in the University as long as he was alive."

Roadblock after roadblock simply because she was a woman

The biases against Payne-Gaposhckin as a woman stymied her again and again, but she persevered in her life's work. She technically earned the first Ph.D. in astronomy at Harvard, but it was officially awarded by Radcliffe, the women's college because Harvard's physics department chair refused to accept a woman candidate. She was paid poorly for her work and wasn't given any titles or positions that a man of her ability and qualifications would have been given. When Shapley launched the full department of astronomy at Harvard, he wanted Payne-Gaposchkin—his best researcher—to serve as its first chair, but he knew Lowell wouldn't allow it, so she was passed over for a male astronomer.

Despite teaching and researching, writing books and hundreds of papers, it would be three decades before Payne-Gaposchkin's contributions to astrophysics were recognized. She basically had to wait for the men with strong anti-woman biases to step down or retire and for men who saw and honored her brilliance to give her the recognition she had rightfully earned.

Finally a full professor and department chair

On June 21, 1956, The New York Times reported, “Harvard University announced today the appointment of Dr. Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin as Professor of Astronomy. She is the first woman to attain full professorship at Harvard through regular faculty promotion.” A few months later, she also became the first woman to head a department at Harvard as she became chair of the astronomy department. And a few years later, in 1960, distinguished astronomer Otto Struve referred to Payne-Gaposchkin's Stellar Atmospheres as “the most brilliant Ph.D. thesis ever written in astronomy.”

closeup of the sunThe sun and other stars are primarily made of hydrogen and helium.Photo credit: Canva

Perhaps most impressive is that, through all of her hard work and continuous road blocks due to her gender, Payne-Gaposchkin managed to marry a fellow astronomer and raise three children. As physicist and author Sidney Perkowitz writes in Physics World writes in Physics World:

"In some sense, one might say she 'had it all' in combining science with family and children, but getting there was unnecessarily difficult and gruelling because of bias against women. She became a full professor only at age 56, much later than a man with similar achievements would have reached that status, and after being passed over for advancement, which must have taken a psychological toll. Only a person with exceptional drive and persistence, along with scientific ability, could have endured until final recognition."

In 1976, three years before she died, the American Astronomical Society awarded Payne-Gaposchkin the prestigious Henry Norris Russell Prize. In her acceptance lecture, she said, “The reward of the young scientist is the emotional thrill of being the first person in the history of the world to see something or to understand something.”

Thank you, Dr. Payne-Gaposchkin, for not only being the first person on Earth to see what stars are made of, but for doing so in the face of all the obstacles unnecessarily placed in your path.