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A request from your chronically ill friend: what I need when we talk about my sickness.

When I meet new people, I often struggle to explain what I need. This is it.

When I was 14, I woke up with a fat face.

I was sick with a fever higher than I had ever felt. My face felt like a sumo wrestler had crammed a cantaloupe into my ear.

My mom took me to the emergency room in the closest town to our family’s remote lake house in North Carolina. Receptionists shooed me in, nurses injected butt shots, and doctors gave me doe-eyed stares. They had no idea what was wrong with me.

Photo via iStock.

This routine of waking up suddenly sick, with a fat face and a spiked fever, continued for years.

Finally, when I was 16, doctors handed me a diagnosis and a pill regimen and told me I might be sick forever.

I was young enough that my pediatric doctor called to give my mom the diagnosis over the phone. The most dramatic part happened before the diagnosis, though, when they told my mom that they had somehow lost my eight vials of blood (which had taken hours of sweat and tears and people holding me down to get). Otherwise, the phone call was short and I could hear the words through the phone my mom held up to her ear.

“I’m so sorry,” the pediatric doctor said to my mom. As if we knew anything about an autoimmune disorder called Sjögren’s syndrome, with hallmark symptoms of dry eyes and a dry mouth, and why we should possibly join the doctor in feeling sad.

Now, more than 10 years later, I’m living fairly well with this autoimmune disorder.

But still, when I meet new people, I struggle with how to explain what I need. Part of my introduction to new people has to include these words: “I’m sick.” And that’s not easy.

So hello, new friend. Here’s what I need you to try to understand when we talk about my life with a chronic illness:

1. I need you to let me have my green couch moments.

After that first day at the hospital in North Carolina, they sent me home without answers and I slept on the green couch at my family’s lake house for days. I remember feeling sad, watching my cousins jump off the diving board at the end of the dock.

Photo via iStock.

But I mostly remember feeling sad about how my family looked at me. They all had the saddest eyes, like they knew something about my future that I couldn’t comprehend at the age of 14.

For some reason, I’ve continued to have a lot of different green couches over the years in various houses and apartments. Sometimes when my sickness takes over, I have to spend days — or weeks — recovering on my green couch. I need you to let me stay there to rest and wait for Netflix to ask me, “Are you still watching 'Friends'?”

2. I need you to show up.

No one knows what tomorrow holds. But if my tomorrow puts me in the hospital, I need you to come. I need you to show up. Sure, you can bring me flowers, but I really just need you to be there at my bedside, hanging out.

In high school, when my hospital visits lasted for 12 or 14 days of sucking on lemons in the pediatric wing to trigger my salivary glands and going for walks wheeling my IV bag, I remember the friends who showed up. And I remember the friends who only came after my parents bribed them to sit with me for a couple hours so they could go home to shower.

People were afraid. I get it. I was afraid, too.

3. I need you to stop asking why doctors can’t fix me.

The autoimmune disorder that I have is chronic, meaning there isn’t a cure, just like many other people in the world with chronic illnesses. I know it’s confusing — you come down with a cough and you go to the doctor to get better.

For me, it’s not that simple. I take a couple of medications that help tackle my individual symptoms and improve my quality of life with pain management, but that’s it. That’s all doctors can do at this point.

Please stop asking why. Doctors don’t know. I don’t know.

4. I need you to try to see my invisible pain.

All those years when I woke up with a fat face were just my invisible illness trying to make a guest appearance for one episode. Mostly, my body suffers in ways that you can’t see.

Photo via iStock.

The more visible symptoms happen in cold weather when the blood rushes away from my hands and feet. This is when you watch in amazement because my white hands look like a dead person’s. I need you to know that the invisible pain hurts just as bad as the visible pain.

5. I need you to stop asking me how I feel today.

Some days, it’s a big deal to just get out of bed because my joints ache and after even 10 hours of sleep, I still feel like I have a hangover. My right foot and my back feel broken, and my dry eyes build a white film on my contacts that feels like I’m watching the world through a dirty fish bowl.

When you ask me how I feel today, the answer is complicated. The list of pain that’s both inflamed or subsided is longer than we need to hash out. And sometimes the answer to your questions makes me sad, grieving the loss of a dream of a pain-free life I think I deserve.

6. I need you to let me weep in my mom’s arms, even as a grown adult.

Next month, I turn 27. Recently, I wept in my mom’s arms in a shaking way that startled even me. It was the day I got another doctor’s bill for hundreds that I couldn’t afford, and I wasn’t sure if I could even go to my specialist appointment because it might mean I couldn’t pay rent or buy groceries for a couple of months.

My health insurance doesn’t get it. They cover so little, deeming appointments and blood work as “medically unnecessary.” But truthfully, nothing about this sick life is easy to handle, even as a pretty independent adult. I need you to let me weep from the deepest places and not tell me to just shake it off.

7. I need you to stop telling me I can’t.

I told my parents I wanted to go on a mission trip to Africa. Instantly, they said, “You can’t.”

I’ve heard these words before, about studying abroad or becoming an elementary school teacher, with planes and buildings and countries with germs lurking behind every corner. Their advice comes from places of love. But I can’t have you joining in on this whole “You can’t” chant.

Until a doctor gives a definite “No, you can’t do that or go there,” then I need you to invite me to go places. I need you to challenge me and dream with me.

8. I need you to let me be stubborn.

I have a cousin who’s searching for a diagnosis for something autoimmune right now. My biggest prayer for her is that she stays stubborn, even after she knows she’s sick. She studied abroad before she got sick, before anyone tried to tell her she can’t.

The last couple of years, I moved to a new time zone, even when some told me I couldn’t. You might get to know me now and want to protect me in a plastic bubble everywhere we go. Please don’t. If you’re planning a trip somewhere exotic, invite me. I’ll tell you if it’s too much.

Photo via iStock.

Let me wrestle in the dark with my own stubbornness, just like when I was a little girl and insisted on riding my new bike with shiny tassels on the very first night, even though it was too big and pitch dark outside. I might fall down and get hurt, but I promise you I’ll learn from stubbornly ditching the training wheels in the dark.

9. I need you to tell me to stop staring at that hospital waiting in the sky.

I live in Dallas with a clear view to Baylor hospital in the skyline. Sometimes, while I’ve sat by the pool at my apartment, I’ve caught myself staring for too long at the hospital waiting in the sky for my future arrival.

You might be familiar with how we tell the “sick narrative”: sick, sicker, dying, gone. I have a higher risk of lymphoma and other complications, but this doesn’t mean that’s definitely how my story will end.

So if you catch me anxiously staring at my scripted future, stop me. I need you to remind me that the story can twist in so many directions, especially with technology and modern medicine that completely shatter traditional death sentences.

10. I need you to let me change the world today. Now.

The best (and worst) part about being sick: It moves me into action. I don’t have time to wait. I probably quit jobs sooner than you would or chase after dreams in frantic ways while you put yours on the back burner. I also don’t have time to waste.

It’s scary and exciting all wrapped into one. I need you to help me figure out how little me plays a part in this big story. Let me fight for things that matter today because tomorrow is just a gift.

11. I need you to love me like the 80-year-old grandma I am.

I’ve finally found a pill box that fits all the vitamins and medications that I need to sort out for designated times each day. My dream night is one cozied up and warm on the couch, followed by a 9:30 bedtime. Sjögren’s means I don’t produce enough tears, but if I did, I would cry while laughing at how many times I have to go to the bathroom because of all the water I have to drink to stay hydrated.

Yes, me and your 80-year-old grandma probably have more in common than you and I do. I’ve completely accepted this fact. Especially since I’ve been 80 since I was 16.

So love me like a grandma! Stop inviting me out to all-nighters and saying it’s so funny how I go to bed early and love warm socks. It’s not funny or cute. It’s who I am.

My autoimmune disorder is in no way categorized as “the worst.”

Believe me, people suffer every day with far worse, much more incurable diseases than mine. Some days, my illness feels mostly annoying, like an accessory I carry around and must remember to bring with me when I leave the house.

But I hope you will one day meet one of my best friends, a woman who has learned to love me and my sickness. She remembers little details, like how I lack the saliva required to eat dry pretzels filled with dry peanut butter. She figures out how to eat each pretzel with a huge swig of water so I won’t choke, and she does it with me, too. Together, we laugh.

She sits with me on the green couch for Netflix marathons when I’m sick. And together, we cry.

That’s what I want, what I need, and what I want you to know about me, friend: W​e all have our stuff, and this is mine.

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Want your home to be 'the house' for your teens? Mom shares her 4 tips to make it happen.

Don't mistake being "the house" with being the "cool house."

parenting, teens, raising teens, teen hangout, high school, game night for teens, activities for teens, parenthood
hi.im.amywhite/Instagram

Amy White explains how her house became "the house" for her teens.

I grew up in "the house." In high school, my home was the designated place where my friends gathered, sometimes in big groups, sometimes just my small core squad. My three best friends spent the night there almost every Friday and/or Saturday night for four years straight. We devoured Totino's frozen pizzas by the dozen, inhaled soda, and laid waste to any snacks or leftovers that were brave enough to survive in the kitchen. Not only that, but my house was pretty small — four teenage boys took up a lot of space in the living room (the whole thing) and made a lot of noise playing video games deep into the night. It must have driven my parents and older brothers crazy. It's a wonder anyone put up with it.

Or so I thought when I was younger. When I became a parent myself, I started to understand a little more why my mom and dad were so willing to host and feed all my friends and me every single weekend. Why the outrageous grocery bill and constant chaos in the house were probably a small price to pay.

Mom explains how to make your house 'the house' where teenagers hang

One mom has perfectly encapsulated the value of turning your home into "the house" for your kids and their friends, and exactly how she did it for her family.

teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teens hanging out in a living room.via Canva/Photos

Amy White shared a reel on Instagram showing her college-aged son hanging in her dining room with a group of friends playing cards. The text overlay reads "What makes your kids' high school friends want to come over, play cards & spend the night on their College Christmas Break." I think most parents can agree that we want our kids to keep coming home as long as possible! So how exactly did White pull this off?

Her explanation in the caption was spot-on.

First, White says that you have to start early. Become "the hang out house" in high school or even earlier. Then you have a better chance of holding onto the mantle into your kid's college years.


Next, be ready to stock the house with snacks and drinks, and don't make a fuss when your kid's friends have at it. "The kids knew we had food," she writes, "BUT they also knew I didn't care what they had. They knew they could eat anything in my pantry and fridge."

Third, and this is a big one, don't mistake being the "cool house" for being "the house." Some parents choose to allow their underage kids and friends to drink alcohol under their supervision, but you don't have to bend your morals and the law to lure the squad over to your place. Pizza and Coke is plenty to keep most teens happy. "We were not the house that served alcohol or even allowed the kids to bring alcohol to our house. And Guess What?? The kids still came and wanted to hang at our house!"

teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teenagers eating pizza.via Canva/Photos

Fourth, always say Yes (as often as possible, anyway) when your kids want to have friends over. "They know my answer is 99% of the time YES," White writes. "You have to have your kids take the leadership of offering your home and if your home was 'open' to their friends in high school, they know it will be 'open' to their friends in college."

As a bonus tip, White pleas with parents not to worry about the mess having friends over makes. "I love a clean house and organization, BUT I would much rather have a crazy messy house for the kids where memories are made than a quiet house with nothing going on just to keep my house 'clean.'"

Should parents allow teens to drink at home?

There's an age-old debate over whether parents should allow teens to drink at home because it's better than if they do is unsupervised or keep their home dry as a bone. A recent study out of the University of Buffalo found that kids who grew up drinking at home had a greater chance of having addiction problems when they got older. "A robust relationship was found between parental permission to use alcohol during adolescence and increased alcohol use frequency and quantity, alcohol use disorder symptoms, and alcohol-related harms in young adulthood," the study says.

White writes, "It's worth being 'the house', so let go of control & get to know your kids friends." Commenters agreed.

White's video went viral to the tune of 8.5 million views and hundreds of comments. Parents shared their own experiences of what it's like being the default hang out house.

"Our house was the high school hangout for my son and friends... every weekend... I loved it!! Miss it now that they are all college graduates and have moved away. I love seeing them when they do come home for the holidays"

"A wise man once said don't be the house with the alcohol. Be the house with the food."

"Amy 1000% agree!!! My house is full of teenagers on the weekends and I love every bit of it. Even though I wake up to a kitchen that looked much different from when I left it"


teens, teen house, teens hanging out, teens having fun, teenagers Teenagers eating pizza.via Canva/Photos

"We never allowed alcohol, drugs, bad language, always respectful, and guess what, our house was always the house where the kids hung out. First my daughter, then my son. Through grade school, high school, then when my kids went out of state for college their college friends would come spend a couple weeks during the summer. I always thought of it this way, I loved knowing my kids friends and, who knows, maybe some of those kids, especially during the younger years, just maybe those kids just needed an adult to care. Anyway, it was always fun to have them here!"

"It used to crack me up when my daughter would bring over a bunch of her friends (girls and boys) in high school and instead of hanging out in the family room they all wanted to crowd into either the kitchen with me or our tiny office and happily share all the gossip with me."

Experts say that knowing your kids' friends, and their parents, can have huge benefits. Not only will it bring you the peace of mind of knowing where your kid is and who they're with when they get to those crucial high school years, it has been shown to tangibly improve kids ability to create positive relationships and problem-solve collaboratively. Plus, it can actually be really fun! Kids and teens are the funniest, silliest, most interesting people on the planet. Having a house full of them is messy and loud, but it's always a good time.

One caveat: "don’t feel bad if your house isn’t the chosen house," one commenter reminds us. "Just be happy your kid has a good group of friends and be thankful they have somewhere safe to hang out."

This article originally appeared last year.

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Sleep expert's animal 'chronotype' quiz is deeply insightful for understanding our sleep patterns

Are you a Dolphin, Bear, Lion, or Wolf?

sleep habits, chronotype, sleep, bear, lion, dolphin, wolf
Photo Credit: Canva

Which animal chronotype are you?

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to fall fast asleep by 10:00 p.m. and are up at the crack of dawn, while others are just getting their night started at midnight? You've probably heard terms like "night owl" and "early bird" and assumed they were related to a person's age or lifestyle.

What some people may not realize is that this tendency to go to bed or wake up at certain times is often genetically etched in our DNA through what's known as a "chronotype." It not only affects our sleep–wake cycles but can also influence our overall health in a plethora of ways.

According to UCLA Health:

"[It's] the subjective way you experience your circadian rhythm. In other words, your 24-hour daily cycle may or may not align with sunrise and sunset, depending on when your body naturally wants to wake up and go to sleep. Your chronotype determines your peak time for concentration, physical performance and creativity."

Dr. Breus explains what chronotypes are. www.youtube.com, Sleep Doctor

Danielle Pacheco of Sleep Foundation writes that a person's chronotype affects far more than just sleep: "In addition to regulating sleep and wake times, chronotype has an influence on appetite, exercise, and core body temperature. It is responsible for the fact that you feel more alert at certain periods of the day and sleepier at others."

The good news, according to UCLA Health, is that our body's natural proclivities are never inherently right or wrong:

"You probably have a good idea about when you are likely to be tired and when you tend to have the most energy. We often fight those natural inclinations due to work obligations, family schedules or fear of missing out. But learning to work with, and not against, your chronotype can improve your sleep quality. Getting better sleep enhances your mood, productivity and overall health."

The key is to first identify your type.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Michael Breus, founder of Sleepdoctor.com, created a popular quiz to help people understand their chronotypes and sleep scores. After a short series of questions covering everything from snoring and anxiety to caffeine intake, the quiz-taker is assigned an animal that represents their chronotype. Participants may lean toward the "Bear, Wolf, Lion, or Dolphin."

Based on the answers, Breus's website offers suggestions for healthier sleep habits. For example, I'm a "Dolphin" who snores, and the site recommends specific pillows that may help open the air passages in my throat and nose.

Here's a breakdown of the animal chronotypes, which Breus notes "can and probably will change throughout your life."

THE DOLPHIN

Dr. Breus explains the Dolphin chronotype. www.youtube.com, Sleep Doctor

"Dolphins make up about ten percent of the population and it turns out, can be pretty erratic sleepers," Breus shares.

Pacheco explains that Dolphins are the insomniacs of the bunch: "The dolphin chronotype is based on the ability of real dolphins to stay alert even while sleeping."

Attributes:

"Intelligent
A little high-strung
Sensitive
Often easily disturbed by noise or light."

Breus points to some good news: "People with this chronotype have an excellent window of productivity. They tend to get things done between 10:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. every day."

Famous Dolphins:

William Shakespeare
Richard Branson
Steve Aoki (whom Breus says is a friend)

Breus suggests sleeping from around midnight to 6:30 a.m. and exercising in the morning.

THE LION

Dr. Breus explains the Lion chronotype. www.youtube.com, Sleep Doctor

Breus explains that Lions are the "early to bed, early to rise prototype." They make up about 15 percent of the population, wake up around or just before 5:00 a.m., and are "most productive in the hours before noon."

Attributes:

"Go-getters
Leaders
(Often) COOs of companies."

Breus also adds that Lions value exercise and sticking to plans.

Famous Lions:

Maya Angelou
Benjamin Franklin
Kelly Ripa

For Lions, Breus suggests waking up early and "winding down early in the evening." He also believes Lions should exercise early in the morning to give them a "burst of energy" throughout the day.

THE WOLF

Dr. Breus explains the Wolf chronotype. www.youtube.com

Making up about 15 to 20 percent of the population, the Wolf chronotype is also known as the classic "night owl."

Attributes:

"Crave novelty
Risk takers
Don't follow patterns"

Breus mentions their tendency to be socially introverted, but notes that "not all the characteristics are gonna fit all of you."

Famous Wolves:

Elon Musk
Jay Leno
Rachael Ray

The Wolf is "most productive between noon and 4:00 p.m.," so a later start to the day is advised, Breus notes.

Because most social and work schedules follow a fixed pattern, the Wolf chronotype may face challenges due to its tendency to stay up late or wake up later. Breus says there's no need to worry. "There are ways to accommodate your sleep needs," he explains, recommending exercise in the early evening and limiting caffeine intake to once a day.

THE BEAR

Dr. Breus explains the Bear chronotype. www.youtube.com

Breus says most Americans fall into the Bear chronotype, estimating it accounts for about 50 to 55 percent of the population. He adds that "the whole world is adapted to a Bear's schedule."

Breus proclaims that Bears have the healthiest sleep patterns, adding, "You guys are the glue that keeps society together."

Attributes:

"Tendency to be cautious
Extroverted
Friendly
Very easy to talk to"

Famous Bears:

Stephen King
Jeff Bezos
Arianna Huffington

Breus recommends that Bears "wind down in the early evening," with a target bedtime of around 10:00 p.m. He also suggests exercising before 1:00 p.m. to allow enough time for activity during the day. In addition, he advises Bears to wait at least 90 minutes after waking before having coffee or tea and to "stop caffeinated intake by about 2:00 p.m."

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3 simple words that helped Robert Frost stay resilient through a lifetime of anxiety and depression

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life."

robert frost, poet robert frost, robert frost poem, robert frost poems, writer robert frost
Images via Wikipedia

American poet Robert Frost as a young man in 1910 and again in 1949.

Poet Robert Frost created inspiring poems that are beloved around the world. Frost was known for his simple yet deep style of poetry, and, although he didn't publish his first book until he was 40, he went on to earn four Pulitzer Prizes.

He created a body of work that continues to touch people. Yet, like many great artists, Frost struggled with his mental health throughout his life. (Frost was born in 1874 and died in 1963.) William & Mary English Professor and Frost biographer Henry Hart found that many of Frost's relatives struggled with schizophrenia as well as depression.

"Throughout his life, he struggled to fit in. His education was irregular, routinely disrupted when Frost dropped out after suffering attacks of anxiety and depression that expressed themselves in various physical ailments," notes the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH).

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Frost experienced many hardships during his life, beginning at a young age. His father William Prescott Frost, Jr., died when he was just 11 years old. His sister Jeanie would later suffer from mental illness, and died in a mental hospital.

Frost would go on to marry his high school girlfriend, Elinor White, in 1895. The couple had six children, a blessing that came with loads of tragedy.

"Four of Frost’s six children died before he did, including Carol, the son who committed suicide. Frost’s daughter Irma suffered mental problems that required hospitalization, and Elinor battled anxiety, too. She died of heart failure in 1938," according to the NEH. "Frost’s own bouts of depression brought physical and mental anguish. 'Cast your eye back over my family luck, and perhaps you will wonder if I haven’t had pretty near enough,' he lamented at one point."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

His wife Elinor was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1937, and died in 1938 from heart disease. "She had been the unspoken half of everything I ever wrote," Frost said. He would go on to live 26 more years without her.

Through these challenges, Frost developed resilience and perseverance. One of his most famous quotes describes his advice on how he pushed through:

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

The quote is reported to come from a September 1954 interview with journalist Ray Josephs for This Week Magazine. During the interview, Josephs asks Frost, "In all your years and all your travels, what do you think is the most important thing you’ve learned about life?"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

From there, Frost shared his wise insights.

"He paused a moment, then with the twinkle sparkling under those brambly eyebrows he replied: 'In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on. In all the confusions of today, with all our troubles . . . with politicians and people slinging the word fear around, all of us become discouraged . . . tempted to say this is the end, the finish. But life — it goes on. It always has. It always will. Don’t forget that.'"

Frost died at age 88 in 1963 and was buried in Bennington, Vermont, next to his wife Elinor. Honest about life's struggles to the end, Frost's gravestone reads: "I had a lover's quarrel with the world."

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Family 'barf bowl' tradition sparks debate on whether it's super gross or perfectly normal

"We called it the 'big orange puke bowl' and was used for popcorn, taco salad, and vomit."

barf bowl, vomit, midwest, customs, online debate, traditions
Photo credit: Canva, phkorotkova (left, cropped) / vistastudio from vistastudio (right, cropped) / BackgroundStore (text box)

People debate whether having a family "barf bowl" is gross or normal.

On those awful sick days where you need to throw up but can’t leave your bed, what's your next move? Some folks keep a small trash can nearby—a convenient solution with hopefully zero mess. Others adhere to a more polarizing tradition for their vomit emergencies: using a designated family "barf bowl" that may otherwise be used for movie-night popcorn.

Some people think this is a perfectly normal thing to do. After all, you’re going to wash it afterward, right? For other people, it’s beyond gross and should never be on the table, both literally and figuratively. The "barf bowl" (also known as the "puke bowl" or "sick bowl") has become next-level divisive across the Internet’s various threads, forums, and comment sections, with people pleading their cases in both directions.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Is the "barf bowl" tradition normal or "mind-blowing"?

The conversation is all over Reddit, including one thread from the r/nostalgia subreddit and another from r/PetPeeves called "When people use the salad/popcorn bowl as a barf bowl." The latter OP pleaded their case: "I wouldn’t use a toilet to drink out of even if it’s been disinfected. It’s just the principle at that point. I also just don’t understand the appeal. As a kid we used a bucket or a mini trash with a trash bag in it. Who wants to watch their sibling, kid, etc barf in a bowl the use that same bowl for their side salad the next week? The fact that this is a common thing at all is mind-blowing to me."

Just like on YouTube, the comments from these threads ranged from disgust to, basically, "What’s the big deal?"

"I get it but at the same time, stuff gets washed."

"No way, my mom would have killed us if we puked in a bowl ! When we were sick as kids, she would give us doubled up grocery bags to puke into, but we were expected to try to get to the toilet instead of puking in the bags if we could."

"We had that exact bowl! We called it the 'big orange puke bowl' and was used for popcorn, taco salad, and vomit."

"My family does not vomit in bowls. It's a thing?"

"Once it’s seen vomit, it’s dead to the kitchen. I don’t care if it’s been scrubbed by angels and boiled in holy water, that bowl’s got barf energy now. Just get a d--- bucket."

"Eww. This is a real thing people did? Same bowl for popcorn that was used for barf!? We saved ice cream buckets and lids for barf buckets when I was little. They got loaded and disposed of after use. I did the same when my kids were little."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"My parents still talk about it like it was a treasured family heirloom"

Content creator Myles Montplaisir, who operates the social channels You Betcha, went viral by explaining the tradition of the "Midwest Bowl." (If you look around online, lots of people agree it’s a regional thing.) The clip playfully pokes fun at this debate, with one actor playing both sides: "You say 'puke bowl?'" They ask, incredulous. "Someone [mimes vomiting] in this?" "Lots of people have," their counterpart replies. "Me and my brother did growing up. Then my mom passed it down to me. Now my kids bark at it."

The comments are priceless:

"We lost ours at an E.R. years ago and my parents still talk about it like it was a treasured family heirloom."

"We were a strong toilet or trash can family growing up, got sick at a friends house and her mom passed me a bowl. I was so confused."

"I thought this was universal. Learn something new every day"

"We had a bucket. It's the same bucket we took to the beach, used to hold the mop water, gave cats flea baths in, held my brother's matchbox collection for a while, used as a Halloween bucket, and whatever other uses you could think of but not dirt. My mom drew the line at worms and dirt. You had to use the outside bucket for that. I, unsurprisingly, have the same system going as an adult."

"Yup. Our popcorn, monster cookie mixing, and barf bowl is the same green Tupperware bowl for as long as I can remember. Classic. Edit: Y’all, IT BROKE. R.I.P."

Montplaisir even spoke to Today after the video went viral, noting, “I promise that all of us in the Midwest aren’t crazy. There’s a reason for it. And the reason is it’s because this is what my parents did, and…this is what their parents did.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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Brave man tries some of history's strangest sandwiches, including banana and liverwurst

Did you know there's such a thing as a popcorn sandwich?

sandwiches of history, food history, sandwiches, sandwich recipes, recipes, weird sandwiches, foodies of tiktok, food
@sandwichesofhistory/TikTok, used with permission

People sure loved their tinned fish

Long before the Earl of Sandwich gave the dish its name, folks were sticking various ingredients—some genius, some highly questionable—between two pieces of bread. Arguably, what has made the sandwich withstand the test of time is that it virtually has no rules as far as fillings go. So, even in times of economic hardship, one could place whatever items they had on hand in between a measly couple of slices of toast, and it could still be considered a meal.

Still, while we applaud the ingenuity, certain sandwich recipes have stayed in the past for a good reason, as food enthusiast Barry W. Enderwick can attest. Over on his wildly popular Sandwiches of History account, Enderwick recreates historical sandwich recipes from old cookbooks, rates and reviews them, and even sometimes “pluses them up” with added ingredients to really make it sing.

As to be expected, some sandwiches, such as Gene Kelly’s Greatest Man Sandwich, featuring mashed potatoes and accompanied by a mug of beer, were surprise delights. Others…not so much. If there’s one thing to be learned after reading this, it’s that people in olden times put sardines where sardines should absolutely not be.

Thankfully, Enderwick has bravely volunteered to be a taste-tester. Here are some of his most head-scratching recreations.

Apple Sandwich (1910)

@sandwichesofhistory Apple Sandwich (1910) on Sandwiches of History⁣ Perhaps after yesterday’s Banana and Liverwurst Sandwich I should be leery of fruit based sandwiches. Thankfully, today’s Apple Sandwich from 250 Meatless Menus and Recipes of 1910 has no curveball ingredients. In fact, it is a very nice refresher…especially after yesterday. #fyp #sandwichesofhistory #apple ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory

This recipe was gleaned from 250 Meatless Meals and Recipes. Mix half of a peeled and grated tart apple with cream cheese and heavy cream. Season with nutmeg and spread onto whole wheat bread. Yeah, it’s easy to see why Enderwick gave it an 8 and dubbed it a “very nice refresher.”

Spaghetti Sandwich (1931)

@sandwichesofhistory Spaghetti Sandwich (1931) on Sandwiches of History⁣ Every once in a while…well, ok more often than I’d like, there comes a sandwich with a name that belies what it is really in it. To wit, today’s Spaghetti Sandwich from the St. Louis Dispatch published 1931. Is there spaghetti in it? Sure, but it’s the other ingredients and the bread that do a number on this sandwich. Shout out to Jesse who sent in this...I think? lol #fyp #sandwichesofhistory ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory

You’d think this one would be self-explanatory: tomato sauce, meat, and cheese between two slices of bread…maybe some noodles if we’re going crazy. But spend any time with Sandwiches of History, and all you learn that many sandwiches are incredibly misleading with their names, and the Spaghetti Sandwich is one of them.

There are, in fact, spaghetti noodles involved, along with a sieved hard-boiled egg, chopped onion, parsley, mayo, sardines, all mashed together into a paste and served on…what for it…buttered raisin bread

To no one's surprise, Enderwick threw it into the trash and gave it a 1.

Banana and Liverwurst Sandwich (1931)

@sandwichesofhistory Banana and Liverwurst Sandwich (1931) on Sandwiches of History⁣ I know what you’re thinking, “finally, the great tasted of liverwurst and the great taste of banana in one sandwich!” Slow your roll because you’re forgetting about the awesome power of ketchup which obviously bring those to flavors together. See also sarcasm. Ever since seeing this posted over on 70s Dinner Party’s on Instagram account I knew I’d have to tackle it. Better to rip the band aid off in go, right? #fyp #sandwichesofhistory ♬ Souvenir De Paris - Martin Taylor

Buckle up, cause this one’s a doozy. Half of a banana (Enderwick noted that in this time period, the commonly used banana species would be even MORE “banana-y,” making this even grosser) is added to liverwurst and ketchup, then mashed together. Salt to taste. Put on buttered bread. Pray for a quick death.

Enderwick called the sandwich a “textural nightmare,” threw it away, and gave it a .5. May this kind of nourishment never find me.

Pineapple Roquefort Sandwich (1965)

@sandwichesofhistory Pineapple-Roquefort Sandwich (1965) on Sandwiches of History⁣ Kicking 2026 off right with what seemed like an oddball sandwich from 1965’s Cookin’ with Dr. Pepper. Now, I know folks use Dr. Pepper in all kinds of recipes but the combo of tangy Roquefort (which is a blue cheese) and Dr. Pepper didn’t quite sound right to me. Well, about that… At any rate, I found out about this cookbook via post on the Instagram account june_cleavers_vintage_closet_ which linked to a different recipe. #fyp #sandwichesofhistory #sandwiches ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory


Gleaned from the Cookin’ with Dr. Pepper cookbook, the recipe says to mix cream cheese, pineapple, Roquefort cheese, Worcestershire sauce, Dr. Pepper (of course), along with paprika and salt together, then fold in pecans and onions. Chill the batch and spread onto bread.

Enderwick gave this an 8 after adding a few pineapple chunks for extra texture, and noted that you could taste the Dr. Pepper in it.

Onion and Mayo Sandwich (1927)

@sandwichesofhistory Onion and Mayonnaise Sandwich (1927) on Sandwiches of History Today, we’ve got a doozy of a sandwich from 1927’s Salads and Sandwiches. I don’t want to give anything away but the Onion and Mayonnaise Sandwich has several surprises in store for us. None of them awful, just…well, odd. #fyp #sandwichesofhistory ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory

The Salads and Sandwiches Cookbook of 1927 says to soak onions in water for an hour, then dip them in a vinaigrette with cayenne pepper. Place the onions along with some corned beef onto buttered rye bread. The end.

At this point, you might be wondering, where's the mayo? There isn’t any! This one got a 6.5

Peanut Butter Sandwich…with Olives and Sardines! (1915)

These were technically two different (yet equally horrifying) options from the monster who created 100 Picnic Suggestions. Enderwick gave the peanut-butter-and-olives sandwich a 4.5, and the peanut-butter-and-sardines a 3.5, but when “plussed” up with other ingredients, they went up to 5.5 and 6.5, respectively. Too generous, if you ask me.

Popcorn Sandwich (1909)

@sandwichesofhistory The Popcorn Sandwich (it’s not even a sandwich!) #fyp #sandwichesofhistory #sandwichtok ♬ Happy (Instrumental) - By Line

As Enderwick will tell you, this one barely qualifies as a sandwich, since it’s open-faced. But that’s the least of its offences, apparently. To make the sandwich, you’ll need freshly popped popcorn, sardines (oh dear, not again), salt, a pinch of cayenne pepper, ketchup, and a dash of Worcestershire sauce, all mashed up together. Slather that on hot buttered toast, and top with Parmesan. Bon appetit.

Enderwick could only describe it as “some kind of really terrible tuna melt,” and didn’t even bother to give it a ranking.

Prune Sandwich (1940)

@sandwichesofhistory Prune Sandwich (1940) on Sandwiches of History⁣ Growing up, I always thought of prunes and grandparents food. After all, they were the only ones I ever eat them. Yet, given how many prune based sandwiches I see in these old recipe books, I kinda get why. So many! You’d be forgiven for thinking today’s sandwich, the Prune Sandwich, was just prunes between buttered bread. Oh no, it’s…I want to say…more than that? #fyp #sandwichesofhistory ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory

According to the White Lilly Cooking Guide, you’ll need to brown some almonds in shortening in a pan, then mix that in “prune pulp”…ground up prunes, essentially. This all sounds fine enough until you see that the recipe also calls for Indian relish, which is like a dill pickle relish with some added things like cabbage. Yeah.

Honestly, it could have been worse. Enderwick gave it a 4. Sadly, adding cheese did nothing.

Pineapple and Anchovy Cheese Sandwich (1935)

@sandwichesofhistory Pineapple Anchovy Cheese Sandwich (1935) on Sandwiches of History⁣ So you might be wondering, why is this cookbook from 1935 called Five Feet of Flavor. Apparently, when you put the pineapple spears that came in the can end-to-end it measured out to five feet. Of course, that is just a distraction from the fact that it contains a recipe for the Pineapple Anchovy Cheese Sandwich. Sigh…go home, 1935. You’ve clearly had one too many lunch martinis. #fyp #sandwichesofhistory ♬ original sound - SandwichesofHistory

This final recipe comes from Five Feet of Flavor: A New Style. Just when you thought you’d escaped the clutch of sardines, a new tinned fish enters the chat. The recipe calls for pounding anchovy paste and cream cheese into a paste. Spread onto buttered bread. Then top with pineapple spears. Dear god.

Into the trash it went. As Enderwick explained, the flavors of the pineapple and cream cheese worked…until you get that fishy component. This one got a 2.

Obviously there are plenty of winners that Enderwick has tried—the Bocadillo de Gambas y Pimientos from Spain, the Pakistan Club Sandwich, and the Katsu Sando from Japan were all heavy-hitters for 2025—but one major thing we can glean from his experiments is that some things are best left in the past.

Follow Sandwiches of History for even more cool culinary content.

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