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A necklace that fights homelessness and 30 other holiday gifts with a bigger purpose.

At Upworthy, we believe a little generosity can go a long way. And that's especially true during the holidays.

So naturally, we wanted our 2016 gift guide to be tailored just for you — our big-hearted readers who can appreciate a great gift that also makes the world a better place.

We rounded up the hippest, neatest, most unique products we could find that give back to a variety of worthy causes in important ways. From empowering women in the developing world and keeping our planet pristine, to helping pets in need and fighting human trafficking, you and your loved ones can feel great about their presents this year knowing your purchase went to a cause near and dear to their heart.

Here are 31 holiday gifts that give back, separated into three sections — gifts for grown-ups, for kids, and for your four-legged friends.

NOTE: Upworthy has no official business partnerships with the companies and nonprofit organizations featured in this guide. We just think they have fantastic gifts that give back.

1. The lounge pants of your dreams: $54

Inspired by the Sanskrit word "Sundara," which means "beautiful," these comfy jammies are just that. Made of 100% cotton with side pockets, these pants are perfect for lounging the day away. Each pair you buy is also handmade by women who are survivors of human trafficking and now work as seamstresses. Get some Punjammies.

2. A dashing tie that helps military families: $95

When you buy one of these stylish ties, you're helping the families of fallen soldiers through the Folded Flag Foundation. According to the company's website, each purchase helps fund scholarships for the children and spouses of those who've lost their lives in service, with $5 donated for every tie. Get the tie.

3. A power source that spreads the light: $79

The adventurous techie on your list is going to love this. The WakaWaka Power+ is a solar charger and flashlight in one. It provides 150 hours of bright LED light with a single charge from the sun. It can also charge a smartphone, camera, and any other gear with a USB port. Every purchase will also provide solar light to a family in crisis or living without electricity through International Rescue Committee. Get a WakaWaka.

4. A colorful cardigan to keep them warm: $128

This soft cardigan is made from Peruvian Alpaca wool, and it’s guaranteed to keep your loved ones feeling warm and fuzzy all season long. 25% of each item sold goes to UNICEF, and those funds help to provide vaccines, oral rehydration salts, and nourishment to children in need. Get the Blue Chakana cardigan.

5. A bracelet for your BFF: $76

For your conscientious bestie, look no further. Article22 utilizes the talents of skilled local artisans in Laos to turn Vietnam War shrapnel into stunning jewelry as part of their Peacebomb collection. These friendship bracelets are helping to clear out some of the 80 million unexploded bombs still littering Laos.  Get your friendship bracelet set.

6. A selfless statement cuff: $64

Your fierce and fashionable loved one will appreciate this bronze statement cuff by Raven + Lily. The cuff is sustainably made made from upcycled metal by female artisans in Kenya. Each cuff sold helps provide women in the Kibera slum area of Nairobi, with a way to earn a sustainable living. Get Raven + Lily's statement cuff.

7. Socks with a message: $45

Give your loved one the gift of a right step forward by gifting them these Conscious Step socks. The trio of socks provides two schoolbooks through Room to Read and 18 months of clean water through Water.Org. Want even more of a good conscious? The socks are created in fair trade conditions with organic cotton.  Get a Conscious Step box of socks.

8. An everyday necklace with great impact: $56

The Giving Keys employs people transitioning out of homelessness to make these meaningful keys, inscribed with messages like "hope" and "dream." The wearer is encouraged to embrace the word on their key and then pass the key on to someone who needs it more. Get a mini-key necklace.

9. Beanies that help Mother Nature: $20

Perfect for your friend who loves the Great Outdoors. To celebrate 100 years of the National Park Service, Pendleton has launched the National Park Collection, which includes towels, shoes, and accessories like these classic beanies. A portion of proceeds from the collection will benefit two park restoration projects from the National Park Foundation.Get the Pendleton beanies.

10. A vibrant clutch: $35

It holds all your necessities — and gives back to girls who need an education. This beautiful clutch from Bloom & Give is made of durable cotton and comes in four bright prints. Each purchase will also help a girl go to school. To date, Bloom & Give has enrolled over 100,000 girls in school.Get a Kayva Clutch.

11. A worldly windbreaker: $80

This windbreaker might be reminiscent of the 1980s, but it's actually all about the future. Made by Cotopaxi, a certified B-corporation, purchasing this jacket will help fund grants that focus on alleviating poverty, health care, education, and livelihood development around the world.Get the windbreaker.

12. Girl Power T-shirt: $35

1973 was a historic year for women's rights. It was the year the Supreme Court decided on Roe versus Wade — that every woman should have the right to safe, legal abortions. For every 1973 T-shirt sold, Prinkshop will give 30% of the profit to the National Institute for Reproductive Health. Get the T-shirt.

13. Sunglasses that help give sight to others: $149

TOMS has been at the forefront of "one-for-one" giving, and their sleek, new sunglasses line is no exception. We love this throwback design mixed with the modern TOMS feel, a hand-finished frame, and 100% of all the UVA/UVB protection you'll ever need. With every purchase TOMS will help give sight to a person in need through sight-saving surgery, prescription glasses or medical treatment. Get the glasses.

14. Guilt-free sneakers: $130

These minimalist kicks are from Veja, which sources its materials from organic cotton farms and wild rubber producers and production takes place in fair trade factories in Brazil. Bottom line: When you purchase these sneakers, you're buying eco-friendly and fair trade footwear. Get Veja's Velcro Pierre sneakers.

15. A pin to take on the future together: $10

Pins are everywhere this season so why not gift one that gives back? This lovely Together pin from Just Peachy stands up for women's rights and health care for all. When you purchase the pin,  50% of total sales will be donated directly to Planned Parenthood. Get the Together pin.

16. An umbrella that fights for freedom: $23

When it rains, it pours, so protect those who need it. The ACLU is more crucial than ever right now to help defend the rights and liberties of people across the country. Every umbrella purchase supports the ACLU. Get the freedom umbrella.

17.  Earbuds that help others listen: $70

For the music fan in your circle. LSTN created a pretty pair of rose gold earbuds that provide high quality audio. The wireless ear buds have a battery life of over 10 hours and come with a nifty vegan leather pouch. Even better: Your LSTN purchase helps give hearing aids to someone in need through the Starkey Hearing Foundation. Get the rose gold earbuds.

18. The perfect pouch for bookworms: $15

Because we all have a Jane Austen fanatic in our lives. 100% of proceeds from this purple pouch will help fund the renowned New York Public Library. NYPL is the largest public library system in the country, so your purchase is helping a grand institution keep people reading. Get the library pouch.

19. Sweet treats: $30-$120

Get freshly baked cookies delivered in flavors such as lemon sugar, peanut butter chocolate, and triple chocolate chunk. A Cookies for Kids' Cancer purchase will support research at the best pediatric cancer centers across the country. Get the cookies.

20. Body lotion with heart: $8-$28

'Tis the season for dry skin, so keep your friends protected with body lotion. The ingredients in Lush's Charity Pot alone will make them feel amazing with fair trade olive oil and shea butter. And Lush donates 100% of proceeds from the lotion to environmental, animal, and human rights orgs. To date, they have donated over $17 million to great causes. Get the Charity Pot body lotion.

21. A book written by girls, for girls: $20

Girls Write Now is after-school initiative that just published its newest installment of poetry and essays — "(R)evolution: The Girls Write Now 2016 Anthology" — written by the young women who participate in the program. Proceeds from the book help empower underserved teen girls by pairing them with mentors who are professional writers. Previous anthologies have won awards and have been praised by literary figures such as Roxane Gay, Janet Mock, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and Gloria Steinem.
Get "(R)evolution: The Girls Write Now 2016 Anthology."

22. Art fighting hate: $10 (and up)

Illustrator Jeff Couturier wants you to donate to some important charities, including ACLU, NAACP, and Planned Parenthood. When you make a donation, email him the receipt and he'll create an original illustration for you. "When it comes to hate and intolerance, I don't want to make a little dent with my small donation. I want to kick the door down with a few million friends," he said of the project. 100% of what you donate goes directly to the cause of your choice and you'll receive handmade art for your friend. It’s truly a win-win.Get the original art.

23. A bottle of wine that helps feed the world: $59

OneHope is an award-winning Napa winery, so you know this bottle of sparkling wine is going to taste great, as well as give back. In the last six years, OneHope has donated over 1.1 million meals to children, along with providing monetary donations, shelter, and vaccines. Every Bottle of OneHope gold sparkling wine equals 15 meals for children in need. Get OneHope gold sparkling wine.

24. A cool cat that fights hunger: $45

Maximus the Cat from Cuddle + Kind is peak kitten cuteness, hand-knitted with cotton yard. His favorite quote — “Start each day with a grateful heart” — is a perfect holiday reminder to all of us to stay thankful, even during the toughest of times. When you buy Maximus, you'll be providing 10 meals to children in need through the World Food Program's School Meals Program. Get Maximus the Cat.

25. A ukulele that keeps America informed: $40

What's more charming than a kid playing a little four-string Hawaiian guitar? NPR's DIY wood ukulele kit is super easy to assemble and made-ready to stain or personalize, whichever way you please. This gift's proceeds will benefit NPR, a public radio station that provides all Americans with thoughtful programming known for broadening horizons. Get NPR's ukulele.

26. A baby hat that helps Haiti: $25

Silky and snug, Haiti Babi's hat is made from the same warm pima cotton as the company's blankets — yet it's durable enough to survive the three Ts: “teething, tumbles, and tantrums.” When you buy this hat, you'll be helping provide a living wage to the Haitian women who make them.Get Haiti Babi's baby hat.

27. The fire hydrant that fights for dogs: $20

Your pup will be all over this smiley toy from PrideBites. It squeaks, it floats, and its sales help fund the Jason Debus Heigl Foundation, a group fighting back against animal cruelty and neglect in all its forms.Get the dog toy.

28. "Ugly" holiday doggy T-shirt: $16

Don't forget — your pets aren't immune to the changing seasons either. Bundle up your little furball with this "ugly" holiday T-shirt (that looks like a sweater). Proceeds from the sale benefit the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, an American animal rights organization.Get your pup's "ugly" holiday sweater.

29. Veggie toys good for your (cat's) soul: $9 each

Your cat might not like eating veggies but will definitely enjoy these eggplant- and radish-shaped toys, which are handmade in California using 100% organic catnip. Like the dog shirt above, your purchase of these toys helps PETA fight for animal rights. Get the veggie cat toys.

30. Delicious dog peanut butter: $10

Dogsbutter — yep, peanut butter for dogs — is a healthy way to take your treat-giving game up a notch. It’s made from peanuts and flaxseed, minus any sugar, salt, or hydrogenated oils you may want to avoid, and it works wonders when you're trying to get your pup to swallow some medicine. What's more, for each item you buy, an equal amount of food is provided to a pet shelter, so dogs in need will also benefit. Get Dogsbutter for your four-legged friend.

31. Starchaser cat toy: $23

Is your cat slowly destroying your sofa? This scratch pad with catnip — which comes with a motion-activated LED ball on a circular track — will keep your kitty occupied for hours (instead of ruining your furniture). Your purchase will help the Animal Rescue Site provide food and care for our furry friends in need. Get the Starchaser cat toy.

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Teacher jokingly tells 10-year-old going on a trip to England to 'find Duran Duran'—and so she kind of does.

And just like that, Simon LeBon appeared in the doorway.

Wikicommons and lakehighlandsadvocate IG

Duran Duran lead singer Simon LeBon poses with a young fan

Imagine this: you're a fourth grade language arts teacher in Dallas, and like many Gen X-ers, your obsession with Duran Duran never waned. So much so that you still have dolls of each member of the band in the classroom and, according to Austin Wood's article for the Lake Highlands Advocate, even an old telephone in case (lead singer) "Simon LeBon calls."

This describes Miriam Osborne, a fourth grade teacher at White Rock Elementary in the Lake Highlands district of Dallas, Texas. Wood shares in "White Rock E.S. student, inspired by teacher, meets Simon LeBon" that one of Osborne's students, 10-year-old Ava Meyers, was getting an early pickup for Christmas break, as her family was heading to the U.K. for a holiday wedding. As they were saying their goodbyes in the hallway, Osborne kiddingly said to Meyers, "Find Duran Duran."

gif of Duran Duran performingDuran Duran 80S GIFGiphy


Cut to: Ava and her family, including her mom Zahara, fly across the pond to find themselves in the Putney neighborhood of London. After a day of sightseeing, Zahara shares, "I was just Googling things to do in Putney, and the first thing that popped up was 'Simon Le Bon lives in Putney from Duran Duran.'”

Zahara did a little sleuthing and found Simon's house, thinking perhaps a Christmas stroll by the home would be exciting. But, according to the article, Ava felt they could do better. She and "an 83-year-old relative named Nick, who apparently has courage in droves, went to the door and tried a knock. Zahara was initially hesitant but assumed Le Bon would be away on vacation, so she figured it was harmless. Le Bon’s son-in-law answered, his wife came to the door next, and following a few moments of getting pitched the idea by Nick, agreed to get her husband 'because it was Christmas.'"

And just like that, Simon LeBon appeared in the doorway. He warmly greeted Ava and her family and even took pictures. "It was just crazy," Ava exclaimed.

But possibly more excited was Miriam Osborne, back in the States. She proudly shared the photo (which had been texted to her) with many of her friends and even encouraged Ava to recount the story to her classmates when they returned from the break. Wood shares, "Osborne’s connection to the band goes back to her childhood in El Paso in the ’80s. As the daughter of a Syrian immigrant, she says she had trouble fitting in and finding an identity. Some days, she and her brothers would travel across town to get records from a British record store."

Miriam explains she used her babysitting money to buy her first Duran Duran record. "And so I had been a fan, literally, for 43 years—my entire lifetime."

gif of Simon LeBonDuran Duran GIFGiphy

Osborne's love of Duran Duran, and many '80s bands in general, nostalgically connects her to a throughline for her life that she tries to impart onto the students as well. "Music is a connector, and it connected me to a world that I didn’t always fit in as a child. It helped me find people who I still love to this day, and it’s a big part of this classroom with me and the students I teach, because everybody has a story, and there’s something really incredible about hearing something and it taking you to a happy moment."

As for Ava? She's now taking guitar lessons. And perhaps one day, she can become so famous and inspirational, a teacher sends a student off to find her on a Christmas vacation in the future.

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This is the obituary of a 'very sick man' and it's so funny you'll wish you knew him

That said, you'd never want to date one of his daughters.

via Legacy.com

The obituary for Joe Heller

Joe Heller (1937 - 2019) of Essex, Connecticut appears to have lived a full life: he was in the Navy, worked at the Yale library, and raised three daughters. But he was also a hoarder, a hardcore napper, and loved pulling pranks that involved feces.

Well, as Abe Lincoln once said, "A man without vices is a man without virtues." His hilarious obituary, believed to be penned by one of his daughters, is going viral because it paints a loving picture of a man who clearly didn't take life too seriously — a lesson we could all use from time to time.

The obituary opens with a helluva zinger.

Joe Heller made his last undignified and largely irreverent gesture on Sept. 8, 2019, signing off on a life, in his words, 'generally well-lived and with few regrets.' When the doctors confronted his daughters with the news last week that 'your father is a very sick man,' in unison they replied, 'you have no idea.'


Joe Heller, obituaries, funny, death, dying, humor, family Joe Heller's obituary photoImage via the Hartford Courant obituaries

In his youth, Heller played the role of a prankster.

Being the eldest was a dubious task but he was up for the challenge and led and tortured his siblings through a childhood of obnoxious pranks, with his brother, Bob, generally serving as his wingman. Pat, Dick and Kathy were often on the receiving end of such lessons as "Ding Dong, Dogsh*t" and thwarting lunch thieves with laxative-laced chocolate cake and excrement meatloaf sandwiches. His mother was not immune to his pranks as he named his first dog, "Fart," so she would have to scream his name to come home if he wandered off.


He met the "love of his life" at work and his daughter can't believe he fooled her into marriage.

Joe was a self-taught chemist and worked at Cheeseborough-Ponds where he developed one of their first cosmetics' lines. There he met the love of his life, Irene, who was hoodwinked into thinking he was a charming individual with decorum. Boy, was she ever wrong. Joe embarrassed her daily with his mouth and choice of clothing. To this day we do not understand how he convinced our mother, an exceedingly proper woman and a pillar in her church, to sew and create the colorful costumes and props which he used for his antics.

Heller had a knack for creatively intimidating his daughters' boyfriends.

Growing up in Joe's household was never dull. If the old adage of "You only pull the hair of those you love" holds true, his three daughters were well loved. Joe was a frequent customer of the girls' beauty shops, allowing them to "do" his hair and apply make-up liberally. He lovingly assembled doll furniture and built them a play kitchen and forts in the back yard. During their formative years, Joe made sure that their moral fibers were enriched by both Archie Bunker and Benny Hill. When they began dating, Joe would greet their dates by first running their license plates and checking for bald tires. If their vehicle passed inspection, they were invited into the house where shotguns, harpoons and sheep "nutters" were left clearly on display.


obituaries, funny, death, dying, familyStuck on you! #snoopy #woodstock #stickers #forsale #colle… | Flickrwww.flickr.com

He never met a dog he didn't like.

After retiring from running Bombaci Fuel, he was perhaps, most well-known for his role as the Essex Town "Dawg Kecher." He refused to put any of his "prisoners" down and would look for the perfect homes for them. One of them was a repeat offender who he named "A**hole" because no owner would ever keep him for very long because he was, in fact, an a**hole. My Dad would take his buddy on daily rides in his van and they'd roam around town with the breeze blowing through both of their fur. He never met a dog he didn't like, the same could not be said for the wanna-be blue bloods, snoots and summer barnacles that roamed about town.

He had a small issue with hoarding.

Joe was a frequent shopper at the Essex Dump and he left his family with a house full of crap, 300 pounds of birdseed and dead houseplants that they have no idea what to do with. If there was ever a treasure that he snatched out from under you among the mounds of junk, please wait the appropriate amount of time to contact the family to claim your loot.

Joe Heller, obituaries, death, dying, family, humor, funnyA hoarder's garageImage via Canva

Heller was born with an innate napping ability.

Joe was also a consummate napper. There wasn't a road, restaurant or friend's house in Essex that he didn't fall asleep on or in. There wasn't an occasion too formal or an event too dour that Joe didn't interrupt with his apnea and voluminous snoring.

According to the obituary, Heller will be laid to rest on Friday, September 13, at 10:00 am in Centerbrook Cemetery, but his family urges attendees to dress casually.

Joe despised formality and stuffiness and would really be ticked off if you showed up in a suit. Dress comfortably. The family encourages you to don the most inappropriate T-Shirt that you are comfortable being seen in public with as Joe often did. Everybody has a Joe story and we'd love to hear them all. Joe faced his death and his mortality, as he did with his life, face on, often telling us that when he dropped dead to dig a hole in the back yard and just roll him in.

You can read the entire obituary at Legacy.com.


This article originally appeared on 9.10.19

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Woman's rare antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow' for heart-wrenching reason

"I just love you for bringing it in and thank you so much for making me so sad."

Photos by Murat Rahim Caglak and Antoni Shkraba via Canva

Woman's antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow'

People come by things in all sorts of ways. Sometimes you find something while at a garage sale and sometimes it's because a family member passed away and it was left to them. After coming into possession of the item, the owner may be tempted to see how much it's worth so it can be documented for insurance purposes or sold.

On a recent episode of BBC One's Antique Roadshow, a woman brought an ivory bracelet to be appraised. Interestingly enough, the expert didn't meet this rare find with excitement, but appeared somber. The antique expert, Ronnie Archer-Morgan carefully explains the purpose of the bracelet in what appears to be a tense emotional exchange.

There would be no appraisal of this antique ivory bracelet adorned with beautiful script around the circumference. Archer-Morgan gives a brief disclaimer that he and the Antique Roadshow disapprove of the trade of ivory, though that was not his reason for refusing the ivory bangle.

"This ivory bangle here is not about trading in ivory, it’s about trading in human life, and it’s probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to talk about. But talk about it we must," Archer-Morgan says.

Ronnie Archer-Morgan, Antiques Roadshow, BBC, antiques, ivoryRonnie Archer-Morgan on an episode of the BBC's Antiques RoadshowImage via Antqiues Roadshow


Turns out the woman had no idea what she had in her possession as she purchased it from an estate sale over 30 years before. One of the elderly residents she cared for passed away and the woman found the ivory bracelet among the things being sold. Finding the bangle particularly intriguing with the fancy inscription around it, she decided to purchase the unique piece of jewelry.

After explaining that his great-grandmother was once enslaved in Nova Scotia, Canada before being returned to Sierra Leone, Archer-Morgan concluded he could not price the item.

Antiques Roadshow, BBC, Ronnie Archer MorganRonnie Archer-Morgan holds the ivory bracelet he refused to valueImage via Antiques Roadshow/BBC

"I just don’t want to value it. I do not want to put a price on something that signifies such an awful business. But the value is in the lessons that this can tell people," he tells the woman.

In the end the woman leaves without knowing the monetary value of the item but with a wealth of knowledge she didn't have before visiting. Now she can continue to share the significance of the antique with others. Watch the full explanation below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

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Mom points out the unspoken, 'unfair' part of having kids who travel for sports

Parents whose children participate in elite travel ball leagues can spend up to $12,000 annually on fees, equipment, hotel rooms and gas.

via Casey Kelley (used with permission) and Vince Fleming/Unsplash

Casey Kelley shares her thoughts on kids in travel sports.

Parents whose children participate in elite travel ball leagues can spend up to $12,000 annually on fees, equipment, hotel rooms and gas. One mother, Casey Kelley, from Alabama, has spoken out, saying that if parents spend all of that money and time, their children should get to play in games. Kelley's daughter plays on a club volleyball team.

According to the latest Aspen Institute survey, the average American family spends $883 per year for a single child to play one primary sport. Project Play also points out that the cost of playing various youth sports can fluctuate great. For example, their 2022 report reveals that it costs an average $1,188 per year for a child to play soccer and $714 for baseball. As Jersey Watch writes, those numbers have come down a bit since the pandemic but are still cost prohibitive for many American families trying to make ends meet. What's even more frustrating is that those high prices don't even guarantee participation in games for children. A family can literally spend thousands of dollars all for the experience of having their child sit on a bench watching their peers actually get to participate.

The topic was inspired by a conversation she had with other volleyball parents who agreed that every kid should get a decent amount of playing time. “I’ll tell you what I think. I think, if you’re paying to be there, so it's not like high school sports, I think everyone should have the opportunity to play because this is a developmental league ... and they’re there to develop and to learn,” she explained in a TikTok video.

“Especially if these parents are paying thousands of dollars for them to be in the league and then traveling, spending money on hotels for their kid to sit there and maybe play a minute or two the whole weekend. I think it’s unfair,” she continued.



@caseyjkelley

What do you think? #travelball #clubsport #athlete #kids #mom #question


It's reasonable for Kelley to believe that spending a lot of money and traveling all over the map only to watch your kid play for a few minutes feels pointless. However, a lot of parents disagreed with her in the comments.

"You pay for practice. Playing time is earned," Nathan Sullins wrote.

"Absolutely not. If you want fair playing time you play rec ball. Travel ball playing time is performance based," another user wrote.

travel ball, volleyball, youth sports, travelball, parenting, finance, sportsYoung girls line up to play volleyballImage via Canva

But these parents haven’t changed Kelley’s mind.

“I’m not opposed to kids earning their spot or the best kids playing more, but I feel that every kid who makes the team should at least have some playing time,” she told Upworthy. “I know it’s not a popular opinion, but it’s how I currently see it.”

Kelley further explained the story in a follow-up video.



@caseyjkelley

Clarification post and the last one on this topic #travelball #athlete #travelballparents #clubsport #parenting


What do you think?

This article originally appeared last

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The things we carry

The most poignant moments are honoring those who carried and still carry us.

Image courtesy Tara Roth

Tara Roth with her family

Editor's Note: This essay originally appeared on LinkedIn, you can read it here. It was republished here with permission from Tara Roth.

Today is the two-month anniversary of our evacuation from the Palisades Fire. Although we still don't know when we can return, we have learned - and are grateful for - so much.

It’s funny what the mind latches onto when under duress. One of my first thoughts amidst the surreal encroaching flames, circling smoke, debris and dust in the choking orange air, I noticed what people carried. What they brought with them as they rolled their suitcases down to Pacific Coast Highway, what was strapped to their backs, what they carried in their hands—no one really knowing what they were leaving behind or what, if anything, they may return to. And I thought of Tim O’Brien’s powerful piece about the Vietnam War, The Things They Carried, and reflected on what his wisdom could, with hindsight, eventually teach us. I’ve aggregated his words (with poetic license) below:

“For the most part they carried themselves with poise, a kind of dignity. They shared the weight of memory….the world would take on the old logic—absolute silence, then the wind, then sunlight, then voices… despite the unknowns, they made their legs move. They endured. They took up what others could no longer bear. Often they carried each other.”

Perhaps primed by the memory of this piece, my senses heightened by the chaos around me and the COVID that wracked my body, I observed what we carried. While the LA fires do not compare to the ravages of war, they evoked the same primal instincts. We were under siege. We needed to survive. The fires were redefining what we knew as familiar, as home—snatching safety and seizing the comfort of our quotidian lives that we took for granted—that so many of us long for again.

We carry the grief and loss and devastation and desolation of communities. We carry the memories constructed lovingly into homes and structures that now stand only in our mind’s eye—the library where families got their children's first library card, the beauty salon started by a young woman who immigrated from Russia, now no longer a young woman, and passed down to her daughter. Whole communities and identities carved and scrimped for, then lost, with debris and dust that settles in the wind, smattered by the rains—schools, restaurants, churches, businesses, the bench of a first kiss, the home where the couple brought their newborn from the hospital for the first time.

And even when houses stand, like mine, there’s something else we carry—after the initial elation of the news that our homes remain, a sort of survivor’s guilt sets in realizing how much we have when others have lost everything. We have homes to return to yet never could have imagined how it feels to drive past scarred earth and scorched chimneys, the thundering absence of a neighborhood, the empty lots of ashes of memories—a chronic reminder of all that was lost and the toll of our good luck. We carry this too.

And we, innocent children of the developed world, didn’t consider that even if a structure is standing, that we need power lines, sanitation, safe running water, and neighbors to look out for each other. That we will need countless months of waste removal and remediation. That we will continue to don masks and gloves to enter these standing, yet uninhabitable, structures.

The most poignant moments are honoring those who carried and still carry us. The first responders, the countless volunteers, those who prepared hot meals and donated clothes and comforts. Those who opened their homes so generously to my and myriad other families. The hundreds of people who reached out—from the oldest of friends to people I haven't talked to in decades to those with whom I shared maybe just a professional moment in the last few months. The care and love and generosity and grace, extended by so many.

When I reflect on this time, still living displaced in the homes of various warm-hearted friends, I think about the universality of human suffering and joy, wretchedness and wonder. And how, at our best, we come together in crisis. We know that we are a part of something greater, and we act without hesitation to lend a hand to carry each other. We carry hope about the resilience we have already witnessed as communities come together and pledge to reimagine and rebuild. And, this is what I want us to carry forward.


Tara Roth is the president of the Goldhirsh Foundation and its LA2050 initiative.

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