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A day in the life after you've been kicked out for being LGBTQ.

Youth homelessness is an epidemic, especially for young LGBTQ people. Here are three of their stories.

Image by Michael Calcagno/Upworthy.

As darkness blanketed New York City, Skye Adrian sat alone outside his parents' apartment, devastated and left with very few options.

He had a feeling it could come to this, he tells me. His parents had warned him he better start looking for another place to stay, after all. Still, nothing quite prepares you for the moment your parents kick you out because you’re gay.


"I had nowhere to go," recalls the now 21-year-old of that spring night in 2015. An immigrant from Jamaica, Adrian had just moved to New York and had nowhere to turn. "I didn't know anybody. I'm not from here."

Queer youth homelessness remains at crisis levels in the United States. Research suggests up to 40% of all youth who are homeless identify as LGBTQ, with a disproportionate number of them being transgender and people of color. That’s an alarmingly high figure, considering just about 9% of all youth identify as LGBTQ.

Why are so many young LGBTQ people homeless? The heartbreaking reason, advocates say, is that many are rejected by parents who seem to think it's more acceptable for their children to sleep on the street than to be gay.

For kids like Adrian, once the sun goes down, safe options are few and far between.

You might be able to couch-surf at friends’ houses for a while — like Adrian ended up doing — but that’s no permanent solution. If you’re lucky, you might find a shelter that’s both safe and has an available bed. You might snag a spot on a subway train or a public place like the library, neither of which is ideal. There’s always a sidewalk, of course, a particularly dangerous terrain that leaves you vulnerable to anything from violence to freezing temperatures.

Or there’s the option of "survival sex." As the term suggests, it’s an exchange someone in desperate need makes in order to stay alive. It’s a tactic homeless LGBTQ teens and young people resort to more often than their straight, cisgender peers. For a time, Adrian — who eventually ran out of couches to crash on — began using a hook-up app on his phone to find guys looking for one-night stands and willing to let him stay overnight. The constant stress of finding new partners took a toll on him, though. He was exhausted in more ways than one.

"Of course, if you wanted to stay there, it had to be sex," he tells me. "I got tired of that."

Image by Michael Calcagno/Upworthy.

As the sun came up over Los Angeles, Ashlee Marie Preston knew it would bring another exhausting day simply trying to survive.

As a transgender woman of color living in L.A., Preston found herself relying on meth to keep up. Without a place to call her own, she didn’t see any other way to manage a dizzying way of life that required staying alert and engaged throughout the night, relying on survival sex and keeping up with a group of friends who often resorted to prostitution. It made sense that her sunrises and sunsets eventually began to blur together.

"Here we are, 7 o’clock, 8 o’clock in the morning — I’m nodding off and drinking coffee — then we’d go to the drop-in center to sleep in the chairs," she explains. It was never supposed to be like this, though.

Preston moved to L.A. from Kentucky in 2004. She wanted to live in a safer city, a place more accepting of people like her. But even on the liberal West Coast, Preston underestimated the barriers that would stand in her way.

Being black and trans, finding a job was tough, as it is for many people in her shoes. Even when she’d land one, keeping it proved to be just as difficult. Employers wouldn’t necessarily know she was trans when they hired her, she says. When they found out, things would take a turn — "they would find different reasons to get rid of me," she says.

Unable to find steady employment or a stable living arrangement, she eventually lost all the things she brought with her from Kentucky, including many friends who weren’t accepting of her transition. She was completely devastated.

That feeling of complete loss is what a lot of people don’t understand about homelessness, Preston reveals. It’s not just about losing a physical place, "it's mental, emotional, and spiritual displacement," too, she says. "I felt like I had nowhere to be in the world."

That’s when she would end up at the drop-in center, trying to get some shut-eye as the rest of the city began a regular morning.

She'd wake up in a chair, hopefully be able to take a shower, and do whatever she could before the space would close its doors on her again. Often, she couldn’t find a shelter that would accept her overnight — men's shelters cited safety liabilities, and women's shelters argued that the fact that she'd been assigned male at birth disqualified her from taking one of the beds. It’s a dilemma that's all too common for homeless trans people.

Regardless of the reason, the end result was always the same: Preston and her friends would be back out on the streets just trying to make it through another day. "We had to do it all over again," she says of the exhausting cycle. "It was like rinse and repeat."

Image by Michael Calcagno/Upworthy.

It’s a chaotic day in Manhattan when Giovanni Lamour picks up their phone.

Lamour, who is genderqueer and uses they/them pronouns, quickly apologizes to me for the background noise (an ambulance siren is blaring and kids are screaming nearby), but they’re happy to discuss their difficult past, even during a busy afternoon on-the-go while preparing for their future.

Their life might not seem like most other 24-year-olds’ at the moment — Lamour is living in an emergency housing facility in Queens when we chat — but they’re putting all the pieces together to get there.

Lamour, who grew up in Spanish Harlem, had just come from a clinic visit to make sure they’re staying on top of their health. HIV and hepatitis C testing is just one of many services provided by the Ali Forney Center, a nonprofit committed to helping homeless LGBTQ youth. Lamour has received counseling and college preparation help, benefited from the center’s housing programs, and worked on their job readiness skills (like résumé-writing), all courtesy of Ali Forney.

"I always want to learn something new and problem-solve," they explain. "Where there’s a will, there’s a way."

After Lamour's mother died when they were just 15 years old, they went to live with their father. Their relationship with their dad "really wasn’t the best," they say, admitting they’re in part to blame for a handful of rebellious teen years. But still, Lamour vividly remembers their father’s habit of locking them out of the apartment on summer nights. Feeling unwanted was painfully normal in Lamour's house.

In the decade or so since Lamour’s mother passed away, a series of strained and complicated relationships — with their dad, uncle, friends, and significant others — gradually fell apart. With nowhere else to go, Lamour became homeless. "It’s entirely depressing," Lamour says of their blood relatives, whose intolerance forced them to create a new family. “I’ve really, like, chosen my family — my friends around the city."

Image by Michael Calcagno/Upworthy.

As the sun slowly drops in the sky and families settle into their living rooms across the country, thousands of young, homeless LGBTQ people are left wondering.

They wonder if they’ll eat dinner. They wonder where they’ll rest their heads once the sun disappears. They wonder if the future has any room for them in it.

While many homeless LGBTQ youth struggle in a continuous loop of basic survival, some — like Adrian, Preston, and Lamour — get the help they need and are able to find their way out. "The struggle that you’re going through is real," Lamour wants those young people to know. "It’s real, it’s common, and there’s help there for you."

Today, Lamour is one of Ali Forney’s youth advocates, working to draw more attention to the crisis of LGBTQ youth homelessness. They helped the nonprofit prep for a queer youth summit, for instance, and are leading the charge on various new projects to further Ali Forney’s mission. They’re determined to get back into school someday to prepare for a future in public advocacy. They dream of studying abroad.

Last fall, Adrian, who is living in transitional housing, also began working with Ali Forney. He’s helped the center on various initiatives, like an HIV prevention campaign and the fight to get more shelter beds for young LGBTQ people.  

"I want to be a beacon of hope for all LGBT youth," Adrian explains, noting he’s focusing more on helping other young, queer immigrants like himself who’ve experienced similar struggles. "Regardless of you being homeless, you can still do what you need to get done."

And Preston? One day, she decided she deserved better, and she hasn’t looked back since.

"I remember thinking, 'You know what? I don't know what the plan is — I don't know what God, the universe, whatever, has in store for me,'" she says. "But I know it's no mistake that I'm still here."

The day we talk, Preston is prepping for a meeting at Facebook’s headquarters in San Francisco. Now she’s a media advocate and diversity speaker, focused on elevating the conversations around youth homelessness.

Adrian, Preston, and Lamour aren’t just overcoming their own battles — they’re fighting to save more young lives along the way.

Each and every LGBTQ kid should know they’re loved, after all.

They deserve to wake up to a better tomorrow.

To learn more and help fight LGBTQ youth homelessness, support organizations on the front lines of the crisis, like the Ali Forney Center, the Happy Hippie Foundation, and My Friend's Place.

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

@amberandjoshofficial/TikTok, Photo credit: Canva

Other parents had no idea this was a "universal experience."

Parenting looks astronomically different than it did when we were kids, and we know one of the major culprits of that is technology. Back in the day, there was no such thing as a “tablet kid,” there wasn’t an app that tracked a kid’s every move, you couldn’t get answers to your burning parenting questions from endless online forms and parent groups. Twas a different time, indeed.

Of course, these modern day conveniences have all kinds of pros and cons attached to them, as one dad, Josh (@amberandjoshofficial) demonstrated in a now-viral video posted to his TikTok. In the video, we see him try—and fail—to use the age-old parenting saying that’s always bought them juuuuust a little more time from demanding kiddos, otherwise known as “just a minute.”

That is, until now. Turns out, in the age of Alexa, “just a minute” doesn’t cut it. Because kids can and will be using that robot against you, just like his own daughter did. Poor Josh was just trying to finish washing the dishes before getting the glass of milk she requested. But unfortunately for him, as soon as he replied with “just a minute,” she immediately asked Alexa to “set the timer.” Ruthless.

“Accountability has never been higher," Josh wrote in his caption. And other parents who watched the video couldn’t help but agree.

“I had no idea this was a universal experience 😂”

“No this is literally verbatim my life 😂😂😂”

"Oh so it’s not just our house. It’s relieving and also scary to know we’re not alone 😂”

“Haha this is so accurate. I’ve had the conversation with my kids that it’s a figure of speech – they still do it 😂”

“NOT MY ALEXA RESPONDING WHILE I WATCHED THIS VIDEO”

A few fellow parents chimed in with some lighthearted “tips,” such as explaining that “one minute is more of a vibe than a unit of time,” or swapping it for “one more moment” instead.

Another suggested that he “keep that same energy when they want more time on their game.”

And hey, maybe higher accountability isn’t totally a bad thing. It didn’t exactly instill trust when our parents stretched “just a minute” into eternity, especially when it turned into not actually doing what they said they would.

That's apparently not the only way Alexa has potentially helped parents, either. A study conducted by Kantar for Amazon found that 95% of parents agreed that having Alexa at home has helped reduce screen time, while another 90% felt Alexa helped their kids stay mentally active, learn new things, and become more independent. As with all technology, it can be easy to develop too much of a reliance on this gadget, but (when used responsibly) there are some definitive perks, it seems.

So there you have it, folks. Let’s just chalk it up to being more thing that’s a relic of a bygone era. But hey, change is the only constant, right?

By the way, Josh and his wife Amber have even more wholesome and fun family content where that came from on their TikTok. Check it out here.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

A curious sign in the Dallas-Forth Worth International Airport.

A brilliant LGBTQ rights advocate in Texas found a clever way to skewer the state’s anti-trans politicians by creating a fake sign stating that the state government was verifying people’s genitals through AI. The signs were posted in bathrooms at the Dallas Fort Worth International Airport. The prank was a great way to show travelers that when trans rights are under fire, everyone's rights are, too.

The signs look precisely like a government warning and infer that the toilet's flushing sensor holds some device to photograph bathroom user’s genitals. Taking pictures of someone’s genitals is a massive violation of people’s privacy, but if the state wants to monitor if trans people are using the bathroom, how else could it tell?


The prank warning sign has a phone number for people to call to have their photos removed from the database, and it goes to Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick's office. Back in 2016 and 2017, Patrick pushed for a law that would limit transgender people's ability to use the bathroom that matches their identity.

Here's what the prank sign reads:

Electronic Genital Verification (EGV)

Your genitalia may be photographed electronically during your use of this facility as part of the Electronic Genital Verification (EGV) pilot program at the direction of the Office of the Lieutenant Governor. In the future, EGV will help keep Texans safe while protecting your privacy by screening for potentially improper restroom access using machine vision and Artificial Intelligence (AI) in lieu of traditional genital inspections.

At this time, images collected will be used solely for model training purposes and will not be used for law enforcement or shared with entities except as pursuant to a subpoena, court order or as otherwise compelled by a legal process.
Your participation in this program is voluntary.

You have the right to request removal of your data by calling the EGV program office at (512) 463-0001 during normal operating hours (Mon-Fri 8AM-5PM).

Michael Dear, a security camera expert, posted about encountering one of the signs at the airport.


The prank even caught the attention of the DFW airport. “This is not a DFW-produced or authorized sign, and we have no information about its origins,” DFW media relations manager Cynthia Vega told Snopes. “However, we are investigating to ensure that none is posted, and we will remove any unauthorized signs if found.”

The idea of the government inspecting its citizen's genitals seems outlandish and totalitarian. However, a bill that made it through the Ohio State House of Representatives in June 2022 calls for just that. The bill would have required high school athletes to prove their gender by submitting to intrusive inspections of their genitalia and other invasive tests. Although the bill was never signed into law, it begs the question: What poses a more significant threat to high schoolers, transgender female athletes (less than 100 people nationwide), or statewide government genital inspections?

Sometimes, the best way to expose hysteria is not to shout back even louder but to encourage everyone to laugh at it. Kudos to the creator of the genital verification prank for using humor to make an essential point about privacy.

Image credits: Public domain (left) Zoran Veselinovic (right)

There's nothing like a power key change to take a song to the next level.

Music affects us emotionally and psychologically in so many ways. A minor key can make us sad and wistful, a dissonant chord can trigger fear, and a joyful, jaunty tune can pull us out of a funk. But a musical device that used to be a staple in pop music has largely fallen by the wayside, much to the dismay of everyone who's ever raised a finger to the sky when Whitney Houston belted out, "Don't…make…me…CLOOOOSE one more doooor."

That's right. The power key change. Bon Jovi did it in "Livin' on a Prayer," Michael Jackson in "Man in the Mirror," and Celine Dion in "My Heart Will Go On." Taking a verse or a chorus up a notch by modulating the key was a way for pop stars to give their songs extra oomph for decades. We loved it because it made us feel things. And some of us are realizing just how much we miss the chills and thrills those modulations gave us.

Self-proclaimed "geriatric millennial" Chrissy Allen posted an impassioned plea to "bring back key changes" with examples from popular songs of the 80s and 90s, and it's resonating with those who remember.

Her movements are so familiar and people in the comments felt it in their bones.

"Ah yes! The classic last chorus modulation (or if you're Michael Jackson, like 8x). Expected and unexpected all at once."

"Key changes make you feel like life is worth it, the future is bright and nothing is going to stop your fearless heart! Such a dopamine boost 🔥 Other songs can't compete with that."

"This is pure dopamine. Like, just the good stuff, all lean no fat, pharmaceutical grade brain chemicals. 🤌🏽"

"If there is no key change, when do they stand up from their stool?"

"And the beat dropping WITH the key change is the *chef’s kiss*"

"Total goosebumps the whole time."

For real, though. Watch Whitney pull this key change out of her hat and see if it doesn't give you goosebumps.

Whitney Houston's key change in "I Have Nothing" is legendary.youtu.be

It's not that nobody does the key change anymore, but it's definitely fallen out of favor. As Chris Dalla Riva writes in Tedium, "The act of shifting a song’s key up either a half step or a whole step (i.e. one or two notes on the keyboard) near the end of the song, was the most popular key change for decades. In fact, 52 percent of key changes found in number one hits between 1958 and 1990 employ this change. You can hear it on “My Girl,” “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” and “Livin’ on a Prayer,” among many others."

But something happened in the 90s that shifted musicians away from key changes. The rise of Hip-Hop music, which Riva explains "focuses more on rhythms and lyricism than on melody and harmony," was one change. Another was the way music is written, recorded, and produced. Computer programs have fundamentally changed the way music is made, and those changes don't lend themselves to changing a key mid-song.

Riva gives an example:

"Imagine that I’m Sting and I sit down to write a song in the early ’80s for my group The Police. While composing, it’s likely that I’ll work linearly. What this means is I’ll write section-by-section. First, I’ll write a verse, then a chorus, then another verse, and so on. One way to create intrigue as I get to a new section is to change something. Maybe the lyrics. Maybe the melody. Or maybe the key.

"Every Breath You Take" changes key at the bridge.youtu.be

On “Every Breath You Take,” Sting does the third. Most of the song is built around a laid back groove in Ab major, but then on the bridge, the energy kicks up as the song shifts to the key of B major. Because songwriters in the pre-digital age were writing linearly, shifting the key in a new section was a natural compositional technique.

"But in the computer age, this linear style doesn’t make as much sense." Riva explains that "digital recording software generally encourages a vertical rather than linear songwriting approach."

Some people say the key change is for singers who can actually sing as they lament the popularity of autotune technology. But there are some genuinely incredible singers in this day and age. We cannot live in the era of Kelly Clarkson and Pink and Ariana Grande and complain about a loss of singing ability. Maybe those pop divas will join the movement to bring key changes back in full force. We need those dopamine hits now more than ever.