A dad gets a standing ovation for his message to boys interested in dating his daughter.
"To all the boys who may one day date my daughter..."
We've seen the sitcom storyline so many times.
The lovable, funny dad hates every boy that's even a tad bit romantically interested in his daughter.
It's an old TV trope that's definitely stuck around. It's even the entire premise of some shows ("8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter," anyone?).
GIF from "8 Simple Rules."
Clearly, the cliche is good for a laugh every now and then. But here's a question: What does this old trope really say about us?
After all, dads (in both the TV world and the real one) don't seem to get as bent out of shape over who their sons date. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but moms tend to be more open to the crazy notion of getting to know their daughters' male love interests before graduating to threats of violence.
GIF from "Gilmore Girls."
Poet (and father) Jesse Parent brilliantly skewers this overprotective dad trope in "To the Boys Who May One Day Date My Daughter."
In the satirical performance, which you can see in the video by Button Poetry below, Parent hilariously (and maybe a bit disturbingly) goes into graphic detail about the violence he'll resort to if you happen to date his teenage daughter.
GIFs via Button Poetry/YouTube.
Again, the performance is satirical, and Parent is in no way advocating violence. What he is doing is making fun of the idea that a father like himself would be so irrationally devoted to keeping his daughter away from another male that he'd become homicidal.
It's funny in that "haha ... wait a second..." kind of way. Because he's really getting at an unfortunate truth.
"It's a common trope: the man who'd rather lock his daughter in a tower until she's 40 than have to watch some hormone-ravaged 17-year-old paw at her," Beckie Smith wrote for The Telegraph in 2013. "It reflects an insidious and damaging need to control young women's behavior, long after we abandoned the idea that a daughter is her father's property."
Women, of course, aren't their dads' property anymore (thank God). And we live in a time and place where women — at least on paper — are equal to men (I mean, not when it comes to their reproductive rights, or how much they get paid for doing equal work, or the sexism they face in the workplace ... but ... sigh ... those are for another day).
So, is it that big of a deal when a sitcom dad cracks a few jokes about strangling his daughter's prom date?
Well ... yeah.
Girls and women are still fighting to be viewed as autonomous equals to boys and men when it comes to their bodies and decision-making.
When a parent is more protective over their daughter's dating life than their son's, it can be a subtle (and oftentimes subconscious) way of communicating that they trust their son's ability to make positive decisions for himself more than their daughter's.
It can also place more importance on a young woman's "innocence" and "purity" (*eye roll*), which, to be honest, is just a stone's throw away from slut-shaming.
Don't get me wrong: There's nothing wrong with parents being protective of their kids.
But the level of "irrational parent guarding their child from suitable mates" should be the same for both daughters and sons. Period.



A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 
At least it wasn't Bubbles.
You just know there's a person named Whiskey out there getting a kick out of this. 


An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.