upworthy
Family

Concerning study details how perfectionism affects college students

For years, we've told our kids that they have to be perfect to succeed. Turns out, they might have been listening.

perfectionism, college, studies, success
Canva

Chasing perfection leads to nowhere but exhaustion

For years, we've told our kids that they have to be perfect to succeed. Turns out, they might have been listening.

If you feel anxiety about slipping up — like, the tiniest mistake is irrefutable evidence that you're secretly a failure — you might not be alone.

A study suggests that, compared to young people 30 years ago, more college students are, or feel expected to be, perfectionists — and that might be a problem.

Two scientists from the United Kingdom analyzed personality tests from over 41,000 American, Canadian, and British college students, dating from 2016 back to the late 1980s, comparing three different kinds of perfectionism and how much they've gone up or down over time.Overall, the data showed:

  • A 33% increase in young people feeling judged by society for not being perfect (for example, "My parents will be mad if I get less than an A").
  • A 16% increase in young people judging others ("I have no patience for my partner's mistakes").
  • And a 10% increase in self-judgment ("I am upset that I didn't get 100% on that test"). Americans seemed especially self-judgey.

This incessant drive to be perfect might be stressing us out to a sickening degree.

Being a perfectionist may seem OK at first. It seems like nearly every single job posting these days specifically asks for someone detail-oriented. ("I'm a perfectionist" is a go-to answer to the classic biggest-weakness interview question for a reason.)

Yet perfectionism has been linked to mental health problems like depression and anxiety, which young people seem to be especially vulnerable to these days.

One problem appears to be how society defines — and demands — success.

The authors weren't able to test the exact cause for this, but they have some ideas. One contributing factor might be our increasingly success-obsessed society. Since the '80s, we've taken the idea of meritocracy and mythologized it.

"Meritocracy places a strong need for young people to strive, perform and achieve in modern life," said author Dr. Thomas Curran in a press release. "Young people are responding by reporting increasingly unrealistic educational and professional expectations for themselves.”

Other possible causes might be parents demanding more out of their children than they did in the 1980s and/or the panopticon of social media.

If perfectionism really is both problematic and on the rise, it's not going to be an easy problem to solve. But there are potential solutions.

Curran and his co-author, Dr. Andrew Hill, did not address specific solutions in the current paper, but, when asked, Curran said:

"We (my group) typically advocate balanced working lives, regular breaks from the social evaluation of social media, a focus [on] one’s own accomplishments (not others'), and depressurized environments that do not hold excessive expectations or perfection as criteria for success."

(By the way, if you need help with this, psychologist Tamar Chansky wrote a list eight personal strategies over at HuffPost. Alternatively, this might be something to unpack with a therapist.)

perfectionism, habits, changes, reality

8 Strategies For Making A Better Life

www.huffpost.com

In addition, Curran suggested that it might be time for schools, universities, and other organizations to teach the importance of compassion over competition. He and his co-author have previously praised Google's program of rewarding both successes and failures.

So while it might be admirable to aim for that gold star, it's important to remember that mistakes happen. It's OK not to be perfect.

From Your Site Articles
kids
Badge
BigFuture
BigFuture Scholarships
Education

She fell in love with endangered porpoises at age 7. Now, she's on a mission to save the ocean.

True

When Rachel Heimke was seven, she realized what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Little did she know a $40,000 BigFuture Scholarship would help her pursue her dreams.

Heimke and her parents were living an unconventional lifestyle, to say the least. The summer after she completed first grade, she and her parents boarded a sailboat and sailed from their hometown in Alaska down the Pacific Coast. The family would spend the next two years traveling on the water, passing Mexico and then sailing across the world to Australia before returning home. It was on the sailboat, watching whales and dolphins breach the water under their boat, that Heimke realized her life’s purpose.

“I was really obsessed with these little porpoises called Vaquitta, who only live in one tiny area of water off the coast of Mexico,” she recalled. “When I learned about them as a kid, there were only 22 left in the wild. Now, there are only ten.” Despite her interest, Heimke was never able to actually see any Vaquitta on her trip, both because of their inherent shyness and because they were so critically endangered due to detrimental fishing policies in the area. “That was my wakeup call,” she says. “I’ll probably never be able to see this porpoise, and I don’t want that to be true of other species.”

Now a young woman of 23, Heimke is realizing her childhood dream of ocean conservation by recently graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in ocean sciences and enrolling in a grad program in Canada to study science communication. Heimke is well on her way to achieving her childhood dream—but she acknowledges that none of this would have been possible without her ocean adventures as a child, the support of her parents, and significant financial support.

At 18, when Heimke was deciding where to study ocean sciences, she stumbled upon an opportunity from BigFuture, College Board's free college and career planning site. The opportunity was the BigFuture Scholarship, which provided students the chance to win a $40,000 scholarship by completing six action items on the website. Heimke was intrigued, since she didn’t need to provide an essay, her GPA, or any test scores to enter. Her eligibility was also not tied to citizenship status or family income, so she decided to give it a shot.

“One of the action items was just going on the BigFuture site and creating a list of colleges I was interested in,” said Heimke. Another item required her to apply for financial aid through FAFSA—something Heimke was planning to do anyway. Every completed action item gave students more chances to win the scholarship, so Heimke completed all six action items quickly.

Months later, Heimke’s parents ushered her over to a call over Zoom, where she met a BigFuture representative who had some surprising news: She was one of 25 students who had won the $40,000 BigFuture college scholarship. Each year she would receive $10,000 in scholarship funding, which would cover her entire tuition bill for all four years of schooling.

“That experience taught me that it’s really important to not give up on your goals and just go for opportunities,” said Heimke. “I never thought I would win anything, but I’ve learned it's worth applying anyway. Even a small scholarship of $1,000 can pay your rent for a month,” she said. “And If you write an essay that takes an hour and you win $5,000, that’s probably the most money per hour you’ll ever make in your life.”

The tuition money made it possible for her to attend college, and for her to apply to graduate school immediately afterward without any financial burdens.

“Now that I’m in graduate school and paying for rent and a phone bill and graduate school tuition, it’s truly a blessing to not have student loan debt on top of that,” Heimke said. Because of the BigFuture scholarship, Heimke doesn’t need to pay for her graduate program either—she’s able to fund her education with the money her parents saved by not having to pay for her undergraduate degree.

One of the biggest blessings, Heimke said, was not needing to delay graduate school to work or find extra funds. With climate change worsening, entering the workforce becomes increasingly important over time.

“I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do with my degrees, but I hope to have a lot of different jobs that ultimately will work toward saving our ocean,” she said.

As a child, witnessing marine life up close and personal was life-changing. Heimke’s goal is for future generations to have that experience, as she did.

To learn more and get started, visit bigfuture.org/scholarships.

From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
Celebrity

Comedian responds perfectly after Olympic breakdancer 'Raygun' shuts down her parody musical

The Olympic breakdancer threatened legal action but the comedian is getting the last laugh.

Jerm Gonzalo|Pexels and Canva

Olympic breakdancer gets musical canceled, comedian responds

Do you remember that one time breakdancing was an Olympic sport? It was short lived so if you blinked during the 2024 Paris Olympics you might have missed it. But even if you didn't see the Olympics at all, there was no escaping seeing Rachael Gunn, an Australian breakdancer that goes by the name Raygun. The breakdancer went mega viral for her interesting choices during her dance battle on the world stage.

Clips from her big moment where she did the now infamous kangaroo hop and pushed herself in a circle on the floor circulated the internet. Not only did the Aussie accidentally become a meme but she was impersonated on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. The backlash was so overwhelming from people around the world that Gunn issued an apology to the breakdancing community in Australia.

While mocking someone's abilities is considered bad form, people still find the dance moves Gunn performed at the Olympics to be amusing. This has lead to other people impersonating the dancer and one of them is a fellow Aussie, comedian Steph Broadbridge. The woman wrote "Raygun: The Musical" and was set to perform the one woman show for $10 per ticket at a local Australian venue until the breakdancer caught wind of it.

Paris Breaking GIF by NoireSTEMinistGiphy

It was then that Broadbridge found her comedic musical facing legal notice from Gunn barring her from performing her show. The letter came at an inopportune time as she was already in dress rehearsal having sold tickets to see the musical. Typically celebrities don't legally object to smaller artists poking fun at them in an impersonation, even if they're not happy about it. But Gunn may not see herself in a celebrity light which may help explain the unexpected reaction.

Broadbridge could've gotten upset or went on with the show forcing Raygun to sue, instead she decided to poke fun at the entire situation with a little dry humor. In a video on her Instagram page, Broadbridge announces the unfortunate news to her fans.

Olympics Breaking GIF by NoireSTEMinistGiphy

"I'm comedian Steph Broadbridge just hanging out in my casual day wear," the woman says as she's clearly wearing the same outfit the Olympic breakdancer wore during her dance battle. "My trail show tonight for 'Raygun: The Musical' has been canceled. Raygun's lawyers got in touch with the venue and threatened legal action so we will be refunding everyone their $10 back for that."

Obviously, Broadbridge was not putting on a full length high budget Broadway musical but that didn't stop the breakdancer from putting a halt to it. The comedian shares a surprising revelation in her announcement saying, "her lawyers trademarked my poster which is flattering, I hope they have fun with that. And they're also worried that I was damaging her brand, which I would never do. She doesn't need me to do that."


The entire video is done in deadpan which made it made the one liners pack a little more of a punch, especially when she reveals that she was told she wasn't permitted to hop like a kangaroo.

"They also said I wasn't allowed to do the dance because she owns the kangaroo dance, that one did puzzle me, I mean that's an Olympic level dance. How would I possibly be able to do that without any formal breakdance training," Broadbridge asks.

The comedian's fans were supportive of Broadbridge but were a bit miffed about Gunn putting a halt to the show with one writing, "I heard that the proceeds from the tickets sold for this were going to charity to help women and children facing homelessness. It makes it even worse that Raygun and her lawyers would still pursue this."


Another person encourages the comedian saying, "This will be amazing publicity. Just need to get it to all the news outlets."

Someone else chimes in, "Steph, this is Olympic level PR parody. How did you do this without any formal training?"

If you want to see the musical, don't worry. Broadbridge doesn't sound like she's giving up anytime soon. The Australian is planning to get around the complaint by changing the name of the main character to "Raigun" so there's no confusion. And while the letter from the breakdancers lawyers say Gunn owns the kangaroo dance, that may be something that is challenged by a court of kangaroos...a kangaroo court if you will–pun intended.

From Your Site Articles
raygun gets musical canceled
Family

People can't get enough of this Italian preschooler's classically Italian rant

Her inflections and gesticulations are just too much.

@guiseppe_matilde/TikTok

An Italian preschooler's Italian rant has people in stitches.

All people have a need to communicate, but the way we do that varies greatly from place to place. Every culture has its own communication peculiarities that make our human family delightfully diverse.

Not only do humans speak thousands of languages around the world, but we also engage in culturally specific speaking styles, speech patterns, and body language—some of which are immediately identifiable.

Case in point: the Italian "finger purse" known in Italian as Mano a borsa.

Italians are known for speaking with their hands. Italian hand gestures can vary between northern and southern Italy, but one of the most universally recognizable is the pinched fingers or "finger purse." That's the gesture in which the tips of the fingers and the thumb are pressed together (forming a purse shape) and pointed upward, often in a repeated back-and-forth or up-and-down motion, sometimes with one hand and sometimes with both. Along with the rhythm of punctuated emphasis on certain words, especially when speaking passionately, the finger purse is often used to convey a question with a sense of annoyance, exasperation, or confusion.

It's a gesticulation most of us associate with a classic Italian grandma or grandpa, but when you see it coming from a tiny little Italian person, it's utterly hilarious.

A viral video, originally shared by (now-deleted user) @guiseppe_matilde on TikTok, shows a preschooler engaging in a passionate rant that is unmistakably Italian, both in the actual language she's speaking and in her hand gestures.

According to Italian speakers in the comments, the little girl is conveying a story about how someone commented negatively about her wearing a miniskirt. User @u/shykawaii_shark on Reddit shared:

"Rough translation for English speakers. Not a literal translation, I made it easier to comprehend

Mother: What kind of sense does that make!

Daughter: They told me 'What sense does going out with a miniskirt make?' Like, think for yourself! I can wear my miniskirt, and you mind your own business!

Mother: Exactly!

Daughter: Think about your own miniskirt, not mine!"

Got a feisty little feminist here.

As adorable as this video is, it's also an example of how culture gets passed on from generation to generation. An Australian study found that young humans across different cultures imitate adults in ways that animals don't. Animals will imitate adult behavior to the extent that it's efficient and necessary to perform a task, whereas humans will mimic even silly or frivolous behaviors that have no purpose whatsoever.

“Animals focus on getting the job done,” Mark Nielsen, a psychologist at the University of Queensland in Brisbane, Australia, told Science. “Humans seem to almost forget about the outcome and copy everything we see.”

That mimicry of unnecessary actions may contribute to the complexity of human cultures. After all, it's not really necessary to do the finger purse to make a point, but Italians do it anyway. Little Italians pick it up from adult Italians, and so the classic Italian communication style is passed on.

And thank goodness it is, because babies gesturing in Italian is absolutely adorable.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
culture
Education

Teacher reveals the 'really obvious' reason teens no longer read. It's not just the phones.

"Kids who read are just built different."

via Canva/Photos

A teenage boy stars at his smartphone.

Studies show that kids are spending a lot less time reading these days. In 2020, 42% of 9-year-old students said they read for fun almost daily, down from 52% in 2012. Seventeen percent of 13-year-olds read for fun daily, down from 27% in 2012. Among 17-year-olds, 19% say they read for fun, down from 31% in 1984.

It’s safe to say that modern technology is a big reason why kids aren’t reading as much. A recent report found that teenagers spend an average of 8 hours 39 minutes per day on screens, compared to 5-and-a-half hours for pre-teen children. So, it’s no wonder they don’t have any time left to crack open a book. A high school teacher on TikTok who goes by the name StillATeacher recently brought the topic up with her class, and they stopped reading for fun at the end of middle school.

“So even those who are like avid readers of the Percy Jackson series in fourth and fifth grade fall off,” the teacher says. “Honestly, there are many reasons to stop reading recreationally, like increased pressure inside and outside of school, a desire to spend more time socializing, and, of course, the phones.”

But the teacher says there’s an obvious reason “right in front of our faces”: the adults. “Adults have lowered the bar for how much you should read as a teenager so far that the bar cannot be found,” she continued. “There are many educators who have the mindset that you shouldn't teach whole books because kids just won't read them.”

@stillateacher

the literacy crisis is upon us #teachertok #teacher #highschoolteacher #englishteacher #education #literacy #booktok #creatorsearchinsights

“I've taught at schools where teaching novels is actually discouraged,” she continued. “And I have conversations with teachers in other content areas who say that they themselves never read books, that they don't think it's important for students' long-term success. All this said, it is not entirely surprising that high schoolers don't wanna read.”

How does reading benefit kids?

The significant decrease in the number of children who read for fun means that many will miss out on the incredible benefits of regularly curling up for a good book. Studies show that children who read for pleasure enjoy improved cognitive performance, language development, and academic achievement. Reading is also linked to fewer mental health problems, less screen time, and more sleep. Findings suggest that kids get the optimal benefits of reading when they do it for around 12 hours a week.



“You forgot empathy,” one commenter added. “People who read are better at empathizing because they have been able to put themselves in the shoes of others and learn about different perspectives, people, cultures, experiences.”

StillATeacher has seen these incredible benefits first-hand.

“But I'm telling you, the handful of kids I teach who do read are built different. Kids who read have stronger critical thinking skills, more success across all academic areas, and, honestly, just a stronger sense of self. Because reading helps you figure out who you are as a person,” the teacher said.

The decline in young people's reading is a serious problem that must be addressed. So, it’s terrific that the teacher used her platform on TikTok to bring it to the public’s attention. Interestingly enough, she says that TikTok is one of the few platforms encouraging kids to read.

“And honestly, thank goodness for BookTok because I think it is one of the only drivers of adolescent reading that still exists,” she concluded her post. “Isn't that sad? Like, the schools aren't doing it, TikTok's doing it. We gotta start a movement here.”

From Your Site Articles
reading
Joy

A husband took these photos of his wife and captured love and loss beautifully.

I feel as if I were right there with them as I looked through the photos.

Snuggles.

When I saw these incredible photos Angelo Merendino took of his wife, Jennifer, as she battled breast cancer, I felt that I shouldn't be seeing this snapshot of their intimate, private lives. The photos humanize the face of cancer and capture the difficulty, fear, and pain that they experienced during the difficult time.

But as Angelo commented: "These photographs do not define us, but they are us."

empathy, human condition, health

Having a cold one.

assets.rebelmouse.io

relationships, love, connection

Bed hugs.

assets.rebelmouse.io

cancer, compassion, connection

A challenging journey.

assets.rebelmouse.io

medicine, treatment, insurance

The doctor’s office.

assets.rebelmouse.io

sleeping, family, society

Cozy sheets.

assets.rebelmouse.io

hair, radiation, treatments

Hair falling out.

assets.rebelmouse.io

side effects, humanity, reproductive rights

Shaving the hair off.

assets.rebelmouse.io

bald, emotional challenges, fear

Sitting in the window.

assets.rebelmouse.io

assisted walking, wa

Sunny day on the sidewalk

assets.rebelmouse.io

stress, anxiety, human condition

A moment.

assets.rebelmouse.io

moms, daughters, touches

Compassion touches in the car.

assets.rebelmouse.io

pets, companions, malignancy

Pets for comfort.

assets.rebelmouse.io

ocean, beach, floating

Floating in the ocean.

celebrations, friendship, aging

Birthday celebration.

depression, disease, sickness

A time to rest.

patient, doctor, quiet

​Getting more treatment

hospital room, chemo therapy, chemo

Family present.

tolerance, quiet, peac

Thoughts in a hospital room.

contact, relationship, allies

A loving hand.

ambulance, life expectancy, friends

An ambulance trip.

nurses, hospice workers, funny

A little smirk.

health, contentedness, blessings

Home again.

sorrow, sadness, peace

Last rights.

anguish, heartache, misery

An empty bed.

funeral, funeral procession, grief

A lonely road.

pain, loss

“I loved it all."

This article originally appeared eleven years ago.

From Your Site Articles
Culture

Idioms from around the world that become hilarious when translated into English

It can rain a lot more than just cats and dogs.

Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash

Two donkeys are better than one—'repetition teaches the donkey.'

You probably know what it means to hit the hay, tie the knot or buy a lemon. Maybe you’ve already killed two birds with one stone today, so effortlessly that it was a piece of cake. But to a non-English speaker, using these phrases would probably make you sound crazy … or should I say gone crackers?

That’s the fun thing about idioms. They change depending on the time, place and culture creating them. In other words, they usually sound ridiculous to anyone except those who normally use them. Looking at turns of phrase in different languages helps us see the world through different eyes. And man does it seem impressive at a party.

Just think, instead of saying “it’s raining cats and dogs,” next time you could incorporate a more Lithuanian take, and say “it’s raining axes.” How metal is that?

It can also be raining old women, barrels, buckets, pipe stems, frogs, female trolls, fire and brimstone … depending on where you’re from.

Some of these idioms from around the world make a lot of sense. Others get so lost in translation, you can’t help but get tickled pink.

Swedish

”Nu ska du få dina fiskar värmda.”

Literal translation: Now your fishes will be warmed.

It's another way of saying someone’s in trouble, or their “goose is cooked.”

The Swedish language is definitely not lacking in the threats department. They also have a saying, “nu har du satt din sista potatis,” which translates to “now you have planted your last potato.”

Imagine hearing Batman say “You’ve planted your last potato, Joker.” Doesn't have quite the intended effect.

Italian

“Avere gli occhi foderati di prosciutto.”

Literal translation: To have one’s eyes lined with ham.

Leave it to the Italians to have food-related phrases. You can use this when someone can’t see what’s right in front of them. It can also be used when someone is blinded by love. Sadly, there is no “ham-colored glasses” idiom.

Icelandic

“Að leggja höfuðið í bleyti.”

Literal translation: To lay your head in water.

You say this when you “need to sleep on something,” or “put your thinking cap on.” This one is hilarious because I cannot fathom getting any mental clarity from holding my head in the water.

Arabic

"At-Tikraar yu’allem al-Himaar.”

Literal translation: Repetition teaches the donkey.

Practice makes perfect, but it especially does for donkeys. Animal-themed wisdom at its finest.

German

"Ich verstehe nur Bahnhof."

Literal translation: I only understand train station.

It's another way of saying “it’s all Greek to me.”

The history of this one is a bit mysterious. One theory is that it originated from WWI soldiers who had only one thing on their mind after getting discharged: returning home. Meaning, they could only comprehend the train station that would lead them there. Others say it refers to tourists new to Germany who have really only learned the German word for “train station.” Which would indicate that everything else is foreign to them.

And let’s not forget “nicht mein bier, nicht meine sorgen,” translating to “not my beer, not my worries.”

(Fun fact: The term “not my circus, not my monkeys” actually stems from a Polish proverb, not an English saying at all.)

Norwegian

“Å snakke rett fra leveren.”

Literal translation: To speak directly from the liver.

When you say something without sugar-coating it, you are speaking directly from the liver. This dates back to a time when the liver was thought to be the magical organ that produced courage. So speaking from the liver is just like speaking from the heart, only down and to the right a little.

Chinese

“Mama huhu.”

Literal translation: Horse horse, tiger tiger.

You can use it to say something is just okay. Not good, not bad, just … meh.

As the story goes, a Chinese painter who, not very good at his craft, created a drawing of an animal that looked sort of like a tiger, and sort of like, you guessed it, a horse. That story actually has a tragic ending that serves as a cautionary tale against carelessness. But nowadays it takes on a lighter connotation.

And like “comme ci, comme ca” in French, “horse horse, tiger tiger” isn’t quite as commonly spoken as non-native speakers would assume.

Language continues to be an ever-evolving and always entertaining way to not only appreciate other cultures, but also note the similarities. Words might change slightly, but ultimately we're all expressing the same things.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
world
Trending Stories