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A Celebrity's Ice Bucket Challenge Takes An Unexpected Turn That I Want Everyone To See

Like a lot of us at this point, actor and comedian Orlando Jones was nominated to take the ice bucket challenge. He dutifully accepted and agreed to make a donation in support of ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) treatment and research. But when he turns that bucket up, you'll see that he has another deadly "disease" in mind.

The ice bucket challenge is a truly awesome phenomenon, and it has generated bookoos of attention and donations for a really important cause. It wasn't originally about ALS, but advocates saw the perfect wave and smartly chose to ride it.

Jones made this video in the same spirit:

I wanted to do what ALS did, co-opt a viral thing and make it my own, to talk about the insanity happening in Ferguson and just around the world. ... It's not the first time I've seen a city in the world look like a war zone, and to be fair, where was my voice then? So for me, it was like, I can no longer be silent.

The video closes with Jones issuing a challenge to everyone who sees it: "To listen without prejudice. To love without limits. And to reverse the hate."

Now that may not be as simple as dumping a bucket of ice water — or shell casings — on our heads, but it's as worthy an undertaking as there ever were.

Modern Families

Fed up parents explain why they 'never want to bring the kids over' to visit

Can't you guys come to us for once?

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids. The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.

The bad news? One phrase: "When are you bringing them over?" Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.

Ceramic bowlsThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in black and white floral long sleeve shirt Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.

We all have the same goal.

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

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Joy

Can you figure out what this doodle is?

Once you see it, you’ll never unsee it.

via Facebook

Do you see it?

Facebook user Savannah Root from Missouri stared at the photo above for hours before she finally figured out what it was.

Everyone that sees it either gets it right away or sits there stumped. The picture is so mystifying that after one week, it was shared over 33,000 times.

For the solution, scroll down past the comments to reveal the hidden picture.

a Facebook post of a meme that reads, "I cannot unsee what has been seen"

Is it formidable?

assets.rebelmouse.io

Facebook comment that reads, "Oh! It's amazing when it suddenly appears!"

Amazing!

via Facebook

A Facebook comment that reads, "I had a freaking light bulb moment for a second.. #cantunsee"

A light bulb moment.

via Facebook

Facebook comment that reads, "I'm so stressed looking at this."

Stressing out.

via Facebook

Facebook comment that reads, "Just got it very good. At first I thought it was a wasp carrying something with its legs (side on)."

Not an insect.

via Facebook

It's a cowboy with half of his face obscured by a shadow. Facebook user Cristian-Dumitru Popescu created a cool graphic that explains it.

optical illusion of a cowboy labeled so viewers can see the image clearly.

The cowboy face breakdown.

via Facebook

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

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Health

Motivation expert explains how two simple words can free you from taking things personally

You don't need to take responsibility for everything and everyone.

via TEDx SF/Flickr and TEDx SF/Flickr

Mel Robinson making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control, or the illusion of it, when it does us no good, was perfectly distilled into 2 words that everyone can understand as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose.

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” 60DaysToLive2012 wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”


This article originally appeared last year.

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Health

Woman shares texts showing the difference between a healthy and a controlling relationship

Is it a healthy or controlling relationship?

Pic from Twitter.

The texting experience between two different men.

Saving old text messages from exes can sometimes be an asset when you need to remember exactly why you left them. Alternately, sometimes digital relics from old relationships serve as a good reminder of how much good we have in our lives currently.

At least, they did for the X user May Larsen, who posted screenshots of two text threads with two very different men in 2018.

The conversation on the left shows how an old conversation went down with an emotionally manipulative ex. While the other screenshot is a prime example of what communication in a healthy partnership looks like.

The emotional dynamics of this exchange are full of red flags.

screenshot of a text exchange

The unhealthy "Don’t cheat" Text.

Pic cropped from Twitter post.

This ex (boyfriend, hookup, whatever he was) went from 0-100 in no time. In fact, the ONLY way this kind of freak out would be excusable would be if they had prior plans she ditched on. Alternately, if he was doing a performance art bit where he embodied Drake's "0-100 / The Catch Up" via text message. Outside of those possibilities, this type of reaction is nothing short of manipulation and emotional abuse.

The second text message showed how Larsen's current partner responds to a simple night out:

relationships, boys, men

The healthy "Let me know when you’re home safe" Text.

Pic cropped from Twitter post.

The difference between these responses to a simple night out on the town is night and day. When comparing the two messages, the red flags really pop.

People on X had a LOT of thoughts about the texts.

A lot of people assumed the texts were from two guys she's currently dating.

That quickly got shut down.

Meanwhile, others were caught up with the fact that her current dude wears a cowboy hat.

Regardless of whether the rest of us are pro cowboy hat (I'm pro if you can pull it off), it seems they've got a healthy situation going. Communication is key, in any kind of relationship.


Update: It looks like May and Cowboy Hat got married in 2020. We love a happy ending!

🤠

This article originally appeared six years ago.

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Joy

Five farmers rally to save 'world's loneliest sheep' who spent 2 years stranded by herself

A wonderful story of humans helping animals.

Canva

Fiona the sheep had been stranded for two years all by herself.

Sheep are hardy, resilient animals. Depending on the breed, they thrive in the driest of desserts and snowiest of planes. But being highly social animals, one thing they cannot tolerate is isolation. Unfortunately, isolation was a long reality for poor Fiona, a sheep who spent more than two years in solitude at the bottom of a cliff in Scotland.

Dubbed Britain's, then the world’s “loneliest sheep,” Fiona had become something of a local legend—first spotted by a kayaker in 2021, and then again two years later, not malnourished and in good condition, but with badly overgrown fleece and in need of a good shearing.

How exactly Fiona became stuck at the bottom of a cliff was a mystery. But hauling her out was an even more confounding problem.

Despite over 50,000 people signing a petition to rescue Fiona, the Scottish SPCA called the safety logistics “incredibly complex” due to the terrain being so inaccessible, not to mention any human interaction likely causing extreme stress for the stranded rescuee.

That’s when a group of five farmers—including sheep farmer and BBC presenter Cammy Wilson, and YouTube star Graeme Parker— took things into their own hands.

With a whole lotta rope and a whole lotta patience, the team successfully found Fiona in a cave (a little overweight, perhaps eating her lonely feelings a bit) and hoisted her up the steep cliff to safety.

Watch the harrowing resc-ewe mission below. Gotta say, the drone footage makes it look even more epic.

Fiona was then taken to Dalscone Farm Fun in Dumfries, Scotland—a new forever home, where her new owner, Ben Best, dubbed her healthy and relaxed, even if she “could lose a few pounds.”

Though animal rights activists did show concern with Fiona’s new living situation, likening it closer to a “petting zoo” than the sanctuary she deserved, Best affirmed that was not the case, saying, "It's effectively a farm where people can go and visit the animals, but they don't go in amongst the animals.”

He also added that she would be kept away from the public eye for five-to-six months, and not step into the limelight until she’s ready for it.

In 2024, Best gave the world a much-needed update on Fiona's wellbeing when he appeared on the Fed by Farmers Podcast. Spoiler alert: she's doing great. Watch her progress below:


- YouTube

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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