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Joy

92-year-old former ballet dancer with dementia wrote a poem that has us all wrecked

What a beautiful gut punch.

silhouette of a ballet dancer
Photo credit: Canva

"I am still a dancer made of song."

Humans have been writing poetry for thousands of years, communicating feelings and ideas in beautiful, powerful ways that prose just can't quite reach. Poetry can be hard to define, but you know it when you see it—or rather, when you feel it.

Emily Dickinson once wrote, “If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.” A poem hits you somewhere—your brain, your heart, your gut. And one poem that packs an incredibly moving punch has come from an unlikely source—an elderly woman with dementia.

Poet Joseph Fasano shared a message from a fan who shared that they had brought his book, "The Magic Words: Simple Poetry Prompts That Unlock the Creativity in Everyone," to their mother, a 92-year-old former ballet dancer living with dementia. The mother was excited to write a poem, and they slowly worked through a prompt from the book together aloud.

This poem was the result:

"Let the days be warm

Let the fall be long.

Let every child inside me find her shoes

and dance wildly, softly, toward the world.

I have a story I have never told

Once, when I was small,

I looked up at the sky and saw the wind

and knew I was a dancer made of song.

I am still a dancer made of song."

Wow. What a testament to the power of poetry to reach beyond our usual modes of communication, which dementia so cruelly disrupts. In a few simple lines, we're able to see this woman as she might see herself, as the human living under the veils of age and disease: "I am still a dancer made of song."

Poetry prompts can help people express themselves

The person who shared the poem thanked Fasano for "helping people find their voices," which is exactly what his book of poetry prompts was meant to do.

The Magic Words book"The Magic Words" is a book of poetry prompts from Joseph Fasano.Amazon

In the book's introduction, Fasano shares that he'd been invited to speak to a class of second graders in New Jersey in 2022 to share "the craft and magic of poetry." As part of his efforts, he came up with a poetry prompt that could "help guide their imaginations" and "unlock the images, thoughts and feelings inside them, without asking them to worry about how to structure a poem." He called the results "astonishing." When he shared one of the students' poems on social media, it and the prompt took off like wildfire, as people who never thought of themselves as poets felt empowered to share their imaginations within that framework.

From 7-year-olds to 92-year-olds, anyone can benefit from the self-expression that poetry facilitates, but many people feel hesitant or intimidated by the idea of writing a poem. Fasano writes, "Poetry is what happens when we let ourselves be," and this idea seems so clear than in the former dancer's poem above. Dementia can create roadblocks, but poetry provides a different avenue of communication.

younger woman looking at a book with an older womanCaregivers try many different ways to communicate with people living with dementia.Photo credit: Canva

The arts can be a powerful tool for people with dementia

Using poetry to help dementia patients communicate and express themselves isn't just wishful thinking. Studies have demonstrated that cultural arts interventions, including poetry specifically, can be beneficial for people with dementia. In fact, the Alzheimer's Poetry Project (APP) aims to use poetry as a means of improving the quality of life of people living with dementia by facilitating creative expression. "We do not set boundaries in our beliefs in what possible for people with memory impairment to create," the APP website states. "By saying to people with dementia, we value you and your creativity; we are saying we value all members of our community."

Poet Gary Glazner founded APP and shared a story with WXPR radio about how he came up with the idea while studying poetry at Sonoma State University:

“I applied for a grant and got a grant to work at an adult care program. The moment I love to share with people is there was a guy in the group, head down, not participating and I said the Longfellow poem. ‘I shot an arrow into the air’ and his eyes popped open and he said, ‘It fell to earth I know not where.’ And suddenly he was with us and participating. It was just this powerful moment to see how poetry could be of use to elders but specifically with people with dementia."

Whether we read it, write it, speak it or hear it, poetry has the power to reach people of all ages in all kinds of mysterious ways.

You can follow Joseph Fasano on Twitter and Instagram, and find his books on Amazon.

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Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Pets

Studies show dogs and cats are equally as intelligent. Here's why people think cats are smarter.

"Cats have some cognitive abilities that may make them seem smarter than dogs."

Photo credit: Canva

Are cats smarter than dogs? Researchers have an answer.

There's a debate on the difference in intelligence between cats and dogs that have likely been going on since the two animals were domesticated. Cats aren't particularly known for doing tricks or even consistently responding to their name for that matter. But dogs on the other hand are often eager to please their owners, seemingly showing off their knowledge of a wider range of vocabulary.

Studies have shown that dogs and cats both possess similar levels of intelligence but people still mistakenly think cats are smarter. While dogs outwardly show their intellect by following commands and doing tricks, they're often getting into mischief. They also seem to forget consequences quickly resulting in them repeating the same behaviors.

People tend to see cats as more calculating creatures who know exactly what they're doing, oftentimes causing people to believe they do things out of spite. They may not respond every time you call their name but you know, and they know that they in fact do know their name. Their thinking just appears to be more complex devoid of the need to please their humans, though these things are all just assumptions made by cat owners.

Cat Omg GIFGiphy

But according to studies, while cats and dogs share the same level of intelligence, their smarts show up in different ways. Cats are problem-solvers and will keep trying to solve a puzzle for a much longer period of time than dogs, and they're often quicker at figuring things out like how to open latched food containers and kitchen cabinets, according to Eötvös Loránd University in Budapest, Hungary.

Cats also have a more developed hippocampus which helps them remember things for longer periods of time while dogs have more neurons. Dogs also have a larger brain due to their larger heads which allows for more self-control–that could explain why cats knock things off counters.

Cats Reaction GIF by Hill's Pet Nutrition EMEAGiphy

Cat owners may also incorrectly think cats are smarter than dogs because cats are more self-sufficient while dogs depend heavily on humans for their survival. In a study where scientists attempt to compare cats with dogs, it was quickly proven that cats simply do what they want when they want, and for lack of understanding.

The study was trying to find out if both animals have the same level of body awareness. Dogs sat attentively waiting for commands while cats had to be coaxed with treats, toys and pspspst, only for some of the cats to be eliminated for walking away and refusing to participate. There's not a cat owner in the world that wouldn't expect that response from a feline being told what to do.

Dog Reaction GIF by TikiIndiaGiphy

None of the studies prove cats are smarter than dogs or vise versa, though. The studies and articles that do comparisons of the two pets consistently show that the animals have similar intelligence levels but they have strengths in different areas. Having both a cat and a dog for a pet may make for complimentary companionship between the two animals. But given that they both have opposite strengths, they may combine forces to get into higher level hijinks.

Instead of trying to figure out which animal is smarter, we can appreciate each for what they add to the lives of humans. But in full transparency, when it comes to comforting humans, dogs blow cats out of the water on their level of emotional intelligence, so keep that in mind when Scout knocks over the trashcan for the fifth time this week.

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Science

Eye-opening video shows why 80 percent of Americans live east of this line

You'll never see the U.S. the same again.

via YouTube/RealLifeLore

There's a big change at the 98th meridian.

Have you ever wondered why the eastern half of the United States is densely populated while everything west of Omaha, save for a few metro areas, is no man’s land?

Most people would assume that it’s because people first settled in the east and moved west. Or, they may believe it’s because of the vast desert that takes up most of the southwest. Those are some decent reasons, but it’s a much more complicated issue than you'd imagine.

A 20-minute video by RealLifeLore explains how topography and rainfall have created what appears to be a straight line down the middle of the country on the 98th meridian that dictates population density. Eighty percent of Americans live on the east side of the line and just twenty percent to the west.

RealLifeLore is a YouTube channel that focuses on geography and topography created by Joseph Pisenti.

In the video, we see that several large cities border the American frontier—San Antonio, Austin, Fort Worth, Oklahoma City, Wichita, Omaha, Lincoln, Sioux Falls, and Fargo, as well as Winnipeg up in Canada. To the west of those cities? Not much until you reach western California and the Pacific Northwest.

Why? Watch:

The major reason why the population drastically changes is rainfall. It rains much more on the east side of the line versus the west. The reason for the drastic change in rainfall is that the Rocky Mountains create a colossal wall known as a rain shadow that prevents moisture from passing from the Pacific Ocean. This has created a large swath of dry land that’s not conducive to larger populations.

Though the eastern U.S. is more densely populated, it doesn't mean the west doesn't sometimes feel crowded, especially if you live in Los Angeles County. What side of the line are you on?

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Internet

Older people share the surprising ways the world is better than the one they grew up in

These unsung marks of progress might be a refreshing antidote to the doom scrolling.

Photo credit: Canva

Life is certainly different than it used to be. In bad ways, and in incredibly good ways.

Listen, the world today is far from perfect, but staying objective by focusing on the real marks of progress that have been made can keep those feelings of despair and powerlessness at bay, which don’t always do much to help us be the change we wish to see and all that.

Perhaps this is where the wisdom of growing older comes in. Recently, older adults weighed in on the different ways the world now is better than the one they grew up in, and the responses reveal not just the sweeping advances in technology and social justice, but incredible advancements that kind of go unsung for the most part. Check out some of the most eye-opening answers below:

Everyday Life

By and large, there are more options, opportunities and outlets than ever before.

Photo credit: Canva

"Food options for both home cooking and restaurants are much better and more varied."

"If you have niche hobbies and interests, you can actually engage in those things nowadays. Whether it be esoteric books, music, or whatever else, you don't need to travel to the ends of the earth to pursue such things. In the '70s and '80s? Good luck with that."

"It's easier to be single. There's less pressure to be paired and less public shame. Romantic relationships should enhance our lives, not be a requirement to achieve some cultural version of success. I love how it is now! It's very, very good."

"Being a nerd or geek nowadays won't get you ostracized."

Health

Not just medical advancements, but also an increase of awareness regarding mental health subjects. And look, while there's plenty wrong with the healthcare system, there are more free and low cost options with the introduction of resources like Medi-cal, which one person noted.

Photo credit: Canva

"Improved medicine. My mom lived for decades with conditions that her mom would have died from. Many things that were death sentences before are now chronic conditions."

"The openness in which we discuss mental health. While there are improvements still to be made, I think it's great (especially for our youth) that we've created a forum where people can ask for help."

"There was no Medicare or Medicaid for anyone when I was growing up. Now, I'm on both."

"Thanks to modern science and medicine, I have an implant in my brain that allows me to hear after 55 years of being profoundly hard of hearing, even with the most powerful hearing aids. It's awesome, and I wouldn't go back in time for anything."

Social Justice

This is a powerful reminder of why need to keep fighting for equality.

Photo credit: Canva

"Women have less trouble getting jobs that pay pretty well. It used to be that employers could actually advertise (in the newspaper) whether they're looking for a man or a woman, what age they want, and they could even mention they're looking for someone attractive to hire. There is also less gender stereotyping and harassment. We still have a long way to go, but it used to be so much worse than it is now!"

"I grew up in Georgia and Tennessee in the '50s and '60s, so you know where this is going. I remember when watching Black people on TV and holding hands with a white person wasn't allowed. I remember how, in 1966, our high school had 1,200 students, and only three were Black. I left the US in the '80s, but I love coming back and seeing mixed-race couples being the norm. I also love seeing men in buns and tattoos. How far we've come."

"I like being able to buy property, get credit, keep my own name, keep teaching even if I'm unmarried and pregnant, get an abortion if I need one (where I live, anyway), and divorce my husband if I want to."

"I don't have to go to jail just for being a pothead anymore."

"My bullies figured out I was gay before I even knew what it meant. They made the next eight years miserable for me. When I watched the news with my family, I saw segments about gay rights and tried to make it look like I wasn't interested, but I was filing the information away. When the series Soap came out, and Billy Crystal played a gay character, I was amazed. I continued seeing more gay characters show up, and I knew things were changing. I feel like I've witnessed an incredible transformation of American culture. I know there are plenty of more things that need to change, and we lurch backward at times, but the last 50 years have been amazing to me."

Environmental

As we are currently dealing with yet another crises related to climate change with the Los Angeles fires, it's worth noting that improvements were made possible through collective action, and can be made again.

Photo credit: Canva

"Oh god, the smog and pollution were really bad in the early '70s. I don't know how to describe to you what it was like to wake up every day in the summer and just see fog and haze. Everything was dirty. During one springtime, acid rain could damage your car's paint. It was gross. I don't have much good to say about Nixon, but the EPA and the Clean Air Act really made a difference in the quality of life for most Americans."

Technology

The next time you have a meltdown over your bluetooth not syncing properly, give these a read.

Photo credit: Canva

"Cars are safer, quieter, more easily operable, and longer-lived now. As a kid, getting any car to 100,000 miles was a cause for celebration. Now, that's the nominal lifespan of any car. Fuel mileage is amazingly better, plus there's widespread hybrid and EV development — things that were science fiction when I was a kid."

"Navigation software on the phone and in the car. I rarely get lost anymore or have to rely on bad directions."

"I can find out how to fix almost anything on YouTube. After years of fixing my stuff through YouTube, I can now fix most things around the house without having to call anyone or incur the cost of a professional. And it's so much more convenient. Oh, there's a leak in the pipe? Let me run to the shed, get my PVC-fixing stuff, and get everything settled in a couple of hours. So many things that seemed complicated to fix, I learned to do thanks to some videos and a few essential tools."

"Here's one that's a little less obvious: LED light bulbs. The LED light bulb in my front porch light has been going strong since 2013. Also, my parents are in their 80s, so it's nice for them. I replaced every bulb in their house with LED, because changing a bulb in a ceiling fixture when you're 80 is not fun."

"I'm never bored anymore. Growing up, I was bored so often it made me angry. But these days, I have endless books, games, good TV, and hobbies to turn to. Some of that is due to being an adult with money, but streaming, eBooks, and digital games are also a huge part."

"How easy it is to learn new things. There is so much great content online covering everything — from investing to theoretical physics to medieval boat building (if you're into that). None of it would even be approachable for 'regular' folks just a couple decades ago."

"The ease of communication at a very low cost. Back in my youth, long-distance phone calls weren't cheap, so we didn't communicate long distances much. Oh, and being able to get reasonably fresh fish in a non-costal city today is quite a plus."

And there you have it. Just a little respite against the doom scrolling to bolster our spirits and believe that change is indeed possible.

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Family

People rally around wife who stopped cooking for her husband with 'extreme' dietary needs

Where would you draw the line?

via Canva/Photos

A woman is depressed over her husbands restrictive diet.

A woman (42) is wondering whether she's correct in feeling that she’s been pushed too far by her neurodivergent husband (48), who has extreme dietary restrictions. “My husband is ND and extremely successful in his career, but struggles with day-to-day functioning. He has a lot of dietary restrictions, and over the years, I was happy to work around those--mostly, we now eat homemade salad and baked chicken, in various forms. Unfortunately, this resulted in a situation where I do ALL the cooking,” she writes.

Her husband also suffered from long-term COVID, which has added to his dietary restrictions, and he has become allergic to wood dust and the gas stove, so she has to cook his chicken in a tiny toaster oven. In addition, she does the majority of household chores while working as an academic at 2 different schools. She has also recently lost her father, to which she was the primary caretaker.

To make things worse, he hasn’t made an effort to get professional help for his problems. “He has pursued no medical solution aside from an inhaler from his PCP. His symptoms are mysterious and variable. He has not seen an allergist or rheumatologist in spite of my pleading,” the woman said.

couples, upset couple, dietary restrictionsA couple haing a disagreement.via Canva/Photos

“This morning, finally, I realized that perhaps I needed to remove myself from this whole emotional food-centered loop and told my husband he can cook and shop for himself, and I will cook and shop for myself and the dogs. He was not happy about this at all,” she concluded her post on the AITA Reddit subforum. She asked the subforum if she was doing the right thing and received tremendous support for a decision that she wasn’t very sure about.

The sticking point with many commenters was that the husband has done little to get help for his ailments and still expects his wife to do everything.

“Are you saying your husband has decided that he has all of those bizarre allergies (wood dust, gas stove, etc) on his own without meeting with an allergist?” one commenter wrote. “He is putting an insane burden on you and doing nothing to help. I’ll be honest — he’s mean and selfish for expecting you to sacrifice your quality of life for all of his whatnot. I would for sure stop cooking for him. I would cook my own food however I want to. I would tell him if he doesn’t go to multiple doctors to assess all this, then the marriage is over.”

Another commenter thought that she was doing the right thing. “Stop. Just stop the madness. In addition to cooking your own meals, use the gas stove until he sees a medical provider and assign him some chores. Is he going to like it? Probably not. But listen to yourself: you are exhausted, traumatized, lost, and angry. If anyone needs self-care, it’s you,” another commenter wrote.

“That’s not a husband, that’s a leech, and you’re a servant. I hope you get yourself out of this. Life can be hard, but it shouldn’t be this miserable,” a commenter wrote.

allergies, long covid, sneezeA man blowing his nose.via Canva/Photos

Another interesting topic discussed in the thread is seldom discussed: long-term COVID is associated with developing new allergies. So, that could be a reason why he’s developed more allergies recently. However, that doesn’t free him from the responsibility of seeing a doctor to get help for his numerous ailments.

Finally, the woman’s post and the helpful comments helped her make peace with her decision to stop cooking for her husband. It’s a great example of how random people on the internet can be a big help. Thank you. “I didn’t expect so many people to have insights into what felt like the impossible frustrations of this situation,” she wrote. “It feels much less impossible when other people share that their own families are experiencing similar things in different ways.”

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