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7 infuriating situations every holiday traveler will recognize — and how to deal.

Traveling around the holidays can be a slow-moving nightmare. The most important thing to remember amidst the chaos? It's all going to be OK, and you will get where you're going. Honest. Here, then, are 7 of the most infuriating parts of holiday travel — and reasons why you shouldn't panic.

1. A family of six is unloading literally every single thing from their luggage as slow as humanly possible right in front of you on the security line.

Yeah. Sure. It totally ends somewhere. Photo by Dragfyre/Wikimedia Commons.

Why it's exasperating:

Airport security is the worst, even under ideal conditions. Thankfully, you're a pro. You've done this a million times. You know your system. You wear your shoes you can kick off without untying, and you place your laptop and plastic bag full of liquids on top of everything else in your suitcase so you can take them out right away. It's obvious to you.

Why isn't it obvious to the mom, dad, and four slow-moving, whining, school-aged children who somehow maneuvered themselves directly in front of you? Don't they realize there are eleventy-hundred people behind them in line? Why did they bring five full-size bottles of shampoo? Can't Tabitha put her stuffed dog in the suitcase for twelve seconds? Did they really need to have that fourth kid? Isn't that kind of showing off? How are they even affording this?

Now you're stressed out at the mere idea of having four children in the first place, and it's all their fault.

Why you should remain at peace:

When you think about it, it makes total sense that they're inexperienced at this. Most likely, the reason they so rarely travel is that they know how difficult it is to take the kids on a plane without pissing off everybody in the world. The only reason they're doing so now is because they absolutely have to.

Maybe Dad hasn't been on a plane for so long he didn't know about the liquid thing when he packed the shampoo. Maybe Mom used to travel all the time, and she's frustrated that her system has been disrupted by the presence of children. Maybe she's bitterly recalling how easy it used to be. She's probably picking up on the hostility behind her and not entirely not agreeing with it. Probably at least one of the kids is sick, and making sure medicine is accessible is more important than getting all computers removed from their sleeves in a timely fashion.

Take a deep breath. This is why you knew to get here two hours early. You got this. Remember how you're a pro? You'll get to where your going. You always do. Zen, baby. Zen.

2. The cashier at the Wendy's across from Gate C25 took your order over 20 minutes ago, and your classic double with cheese value meal appears to be nowhere on the horizon.

Imagine what the line at the good airport Wendy's is like. Photo by Badudoy/Wikimedia Commons.

Why you're probably getting ready chew your own foot off and eat it:

You always come to this Wendy's. This is your airport Wendy's. The whole reason you come here is because it's quick-quick, bang-bang, in-and-out. If you wanted to linger, you'd have stopped at the O'Houlihan's near B6 or, at the very least, the Chili's Too. There's usually never anyone here!

Only now there's a cluster of a thousand people waiting off to the side, all of whom ordered in front of you. How could it possibly take this long to reheat a frozen meat patty in a machine? It's called fast food for a reason. Not only is it fast food, it's fast food in an airport for Chrissakes. Speed is of the essence! People have flights to catch! What is taking so long? Come on, people!

Why, dude, it's honestly OK and you should just chill:

Trust me, if you think it's exasperating waiting what seems like hours for your order, try being the poor teenager behind the counter desperately flailing to keep making food for progressively more aggravated travelers from 6:00 a.m. to midnight.

The winter holiday travel days are some of the busiest days of the year for the airport — and by extension, the airport Wendy's — and they're likely understaffed. You're heading to a nice, four-day vacation, while there's a strong chance the Wendy's workers will have to work not only over the weekend, but on the actual holiday that you're traveling home to celebrate. That really sucks. Especially when they're making barely above the already ridiculously low minimum wage to do it.

You'll be fine. Worst-case scenario? You have to forfeit $8.67 and be hungry for a while longer. You'll have plenty of time over the weekend to overcompensate on calories. Think about pumpkin pie and feel the mellow wash over you like a gooey, orange wave (sorry for the visual).

3. Your flight is cancelled, and of course the line to see the gate agent for rebooking is moving at a glacial pace.

That noncommittal smile conceals the white-hot rage of a thousand suns. Photo via iStock.

Why you're slowly turning an ever-brighter shade of Looney Tunes red:

Not only does having your flight scratched mess up your carefully arranged napping schedule for the weekend, but now every single person on this flight who is going where you're going has to cram onto the same dwindling number of later flights.

You're 28th on line to see the gate agent to change your ticket, and if you don't get to the front of the line soon, you might not be able to get out tonight and miss that family dinner that's your favorite part of the whole trip.

Why is there just one gate agent working? Why don't they send another? Why doesn't she do her job faster? When you get up there, you're going to give her a piece of your mind. Why doesn't she deserve it? It's her fault for working for such a terrible airline in the first place.

Why it's actually in your best interests to de-steam your ears and de-dagger your eyes:

Literally every single person at this airport has yelled at this gate agent. See? The guy at the front of the line is doing it right now. And another guy is yelling at her from over to the side. So many people are yelling at her it has become her normal. It's actually the reason the line is moving so slow. Instead of problem solving, everyone just wants to vent, and it grinds the process to a halt.

When it's your turn, you're far more likely to get what you want if you treat her like a human being. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but it will be a huge relief to both you and her, and she'll be much more likely to squeeze you onto the 7:50 to Des Moines or help troubleshoot with some out-of-the-box thinking and fly you somewhere else that's close enough that you can rent a car and drive.

You know this. Resist the dark side! You can do it. (Also, call the airline while you're in line. This is often way faster. You know this already!)

4. Every single passenger crowding the gate as if the plane is going to leave without them if they're not the first one on.

Photo by Michael Cote/Flickr.

Why it's frustrating beyond all realm of human comprehension:

What marks an inexperienced traveler more than clustering by the gate during the boarding process even though they have at least 20 minutes to board? It's so obvious it's infuriating. Don't they know what noobs they look like?

It's not just aesthetics either! Sure, they look calm now, but when your zone gets called, that seemingly-innocent glob of people is going to react like the Chicago Bears defensive line and close ranks, making it impossible for you to get on line until it's impossibly long. Once you do make it, you'll only be able to wait in a calm, orderly fashion, until the next zone is called and 75 people will somehow expect to shove in ahead of you because they were waiting on what they thought was the line, but clearly wasn't the line. Everyone who is anyone knows it wasn't the line!

And the worst part? You'll be forced to let them in so as not to appear like airport Scrooge. But you sure feel like elbowing them out of the way. And who could blame you?

Why rushing the gate actually makes a ton of sense:

It's not about being the first to sit down (no one, except maybe those in first class, wants more time on the plane), it's about making sure they get their bag in the overhead bin — preferably somewhere near them, or even just at all.

With nearly every airline instituting expensive checked baggage fees, everyone is fighting for the same increasingly limited amount of overhead bin space. It's completely rational behavior if you're not in the elite rank of flyers who happen to be status or credit card-benefitted into Zone 1 or higher. You're probably one of the lucky ones, and that's great. You can take your time. But what they're doing is also in their best interests.

Don't hate the player, as they say...

5. An agent asks you to put your bag in the bag sizer, even though 17 people with bags bigger than yours just got on.

If this is your view, it's already too late. Photo by Rob Schiffmann, used with permission.

What you are tempted to screamsay:

"No. No, no, no, no. No way. Nope. The whole reason I bought this bag is because it's 'airline approved carry-on size.' Dude, come on! Nothing fits in that sizer. We all know it's designed that way. Dude. Come. On! Dude! What about that guy? He just brought a trombone on board! This is a trick to get more of us to throw up our hands and pay that stupid fee. You know it and I know it, so let's not pretend. That woman right there just snuck by you wheeling a full-on 50-pound bag! Enough! This is petty tyranny and I reject it! I reject it, I say! Is this Communist Russia? It is not! Dude! Come. On!"

What you probably should say instead:

"Yes. OK. I understand, sir. This is your job, and although I disagree with the premise of your employment, I respect that you are being paid to perform said job and will likely be disciplined if you fail to. I shall remove my laptop and book and claim my bag at baggage claim, probably no more than 15 minutes after I otherwise would have left the airport. Have a pleasant weekend. I hope you enjoy a well-earned few days of rest."

6. A fat person is sitting next to you on the plane.

Why it's driving you slowly up the fuselage:

You're in coach, which means you have a seat that is roughly two inches wide by one-inch deep. And this person is encroaching on 1/3 of it or more? What gives them the right! Why do you of all people have to sit next to them when there's a whole plane full of seats you could be sitting in instead? Why should their body take precedence over your comfort? Is there a manager you can complain to? This is outrageous!

Why you should redirect your rage toward more deserving targets:

Speaking as someone who is frequently the fat person in question, let me state for the record that we are just as uncomfortable as you, if not more so — and definitely 1,000,000% more mortified. According to the National Institutes of Health, nearly 70% of Americans weigh more than what is considered "normal" weight. Which means "normal" weight ... isn't actually so normal anymore.

And yet, airline seats continue to get smaller as airlines attempt to maximize profits at the expense of passenger comfort. In an ideal world, we'd all have, I don't know, human-size seats? Seats that more closely reflect the American body these days? But sadly, we don't live in that world, and just like you, we have to sit somewhere. Two to six hours from now, you can have all the personal space you so desire. For now, feel free to watch "Bridge of Spies" over our shoulder.

7. The person in the middle seat is snoring as loud as humanly possible.

Photo via iStock.

Why this is fully the worst of all the available universes:

A little bit of snoring? Fine. You can live with that. It happens. But this? This is a full-on, tractor-trailer backfiring, chalkboard-scratching, deafening demon wail direct from the maw of Hades. You try to listen to music to drown it out, but the only music you have loaded on your work laptop is that Rascal Flatts album your boss gave you for last year's Secret Santa. You now have to decide whether to listen to jackhammer-level snoring or Rascal Flatts — a choice no human being should ever be forced to make.

You are in hell with no relief in sight. Not even a free can of Canada Dry ginger ale can numb the pain.

Why it's actually not so bad:

I've got nothing, actually. This is horrible. It is your God-given right as an American to be mad about this. Poke him in the ribs and wake him up, maybe. Pretend it was turbulence.

Good luck getting home! And happy holidays.

Education

One simple word makes children 30% more likely to cooperate. It works on adults, too.

No, it's not 'please.'

Photo credit: Canva

Jonah Berger explains how appealing to someone's identity makes them more likely to agree to a request.

Human psychology really isn't that complicated, if you think about it. Everybody wants to see themselves in a positive light. That’s the key to understanding Jonah Berger’s simple tactic that makes people 30% more likely to do what you ask. Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.”

Berger explained the technique using a Stanford University study involving preschoolers. The researchers messed up a classroom and made two similar requests to groups of 5-year-olds to help clean up.

One group was asked, "Can you help clean?" The other was asked, “Can you be a helper and clean up?" The kids who were asked if they wanted to be a “helper” were 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. The children weren’t interested in cleaning but wanted to be known as “helpers.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Berger calls the reframing of the question as turning actions into identities.

"It comes down to the difference between actions and identities. We all want to see ourselves as smart and competent and intelligent in a variety of different things,” Berger told Big Think. “But rather than describing someone as hardworking, describing them as a hard worker will make that trait seem more persistent and more likely to last. Rather than asking people to lead more, tell them, 'Can you be a leader?' Rather than asking them to innovate, can you ask them to 'Be an innovator'? By turning actions into identities, you can make people a lot more likely to engage in those desired actions.”

Berger says that learning to reframe requests to appeal to people’s identities will make you more persuasive.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them,” Berger tells CNBC Make It. “If voting becomes an opportunity to show myself and others that I am a voter, I’m more likely to do it.”

This technique doesn’t just work because people want to see themselves in a positive light. It also works for the opposite. People also want to avoid seeing themselves being portrayed negatively.

“Cheating is bad, but being a cheater is worse. Losing is bad, being a loser is worse,” Berger says.

The same tactic can also be used to persuade ourselves to change our self-concept. Saying you like to cook is one thing, but calling yourself a chef is an identity. “I’m a runner. I’m a straight-A student. We tell little kids, ‘You don’t just read, you’re a reader,’” Berger says. “You do these things because that’s the identity you hold.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Berger’s work shows how important it is to hone our communication skills. By simply changing one word, we can get people to comply with our requests more effectively. But, as Berger says, words are magic and we have to use them skillfully. “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake,” says Berger. “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.”

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

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​School threatens mom with CPS after missed calls when child was sick. They never called dad.

Other parents echo the mom's frustration and offer support.

Photo credit: Canva

School threatens mom with CPS after missed calls. They never called dad.

Being the default parent can be tough all on its own, but society places an additional burden on mothers to be the default parent. One of the places this shows up is in phone calls home from school. One mom claims that the school threatened to call Child Protective Services (CPS) on her if she did not answer her phone and retrieve her child from school. But the mother works a job where she is not permitted to have her phone on her person, which is why she has the child's father listed as the first contact.

Every year parents register their children for school, they fill out a form for emergency contacts and people permitted to pick up your child in the event a parent can't be there. Parents generally take great pains to fill this information out as accurately as possible, with the preferred parent at the top. This is to ensure the child is never stranded on school grounds if a parent cannot be reached.

default parent; parenting; mom; dad; motherhood; fatherhood; school calls CPS Student daydreaming during class lecture.Photo credit: Canva

Even when parents are divorced or were never married, typically, both the mother and father are listed. Yet schools often default to the mother, no matter what the circumstance. In cases of split custody, the school is generally given a copy of the custody agreement, and the teachers are often made aware of which week or days belong to which parent. In the event the teacher gets things mixed up, most children will inform the teacher which parent to call if they're sick or need to be picked up earlier than usual.

While parents work to coordinate, schools seem to fall into the societal expectation that the mother of the child is the default parent, throwing all instruction out the window. In the original post shared on Reddit, the frustrated mom explains that the school called her a whopping 16 times, though they're aware that her job does not allow her to have her phone. She thought there was some sort of tragedy. Never once between those 16 phone calls did they bother to call her husband.

default parent; parenting; mom; dad; motherhood; fatherhood; school calls CPS Cozy nap time: catching some Z's on the couch.Photo credit: Canva

"I assume she’s been hospitalized or there’s been an active shooter. Something horrible that warrants sixteen calls to the parent they were told not to call. I call the school frantically before even looking at my voice mail and find that they called me because she threw up. Threw up. Blood? Nope. Regular throw up. But because I didn’t answer this woman considered it ‘abandonment’ and made a call to CPS. I asked if they’d called my husband. Nope. Just me! And I didn’t answer, which isn’t allowed."

I've experienced this personally, minus threatening to call CPS. My job requires me to travel to Los Angeles at least once per year. During that timeframe, I inform the teacher in writing that I will be out of town and that my husband will be the primary point of contact for our son. Still, it never fails: at least once while I'm away, I receive a message on Class Dojo informing me of a paper that needs to be signed, a missing library book, or some other trivial thing.

default parent; parenting; mom; dad; motherhood; fatherhood; school calls CPS Focused work in a modern, plant-filled office space.Photo credit: Canva

When this happens, I become the middleman instead of the teacher, going directly to the "parent on duty." This phenomenon appears to be common, given the response to the woman's post, and it's driving both moms and dads insane.

One frustrated mom laments, "You know how many times I’ve had the school say 'your daughters sick' ok, well she’s at her dads house this week and I’m at work 'yeah, your daughter said she was at her dads, but figured you’d want to know' ok well her dad and I do actually talk soo… if she’s not dying, call the right parent??"

A military mom shares, "I was literally deployed and they tried calling me. Sure, that's going to work. Let me just tell my superiors that the school doesn't think I should be deployed when my kid has a fever."

default parent; parenting; mom; dad; motherhood; fatherhood; school calls CPS Multitasking mom: working, baby in arms, and a curious pup.Photo credit: Canva

One dad says he struggles with getting the school to call him first, "I'm supposed to be our main contact. They have my phone number, can text me, we have the school app (like 4 different ones!), they have my work number. I have always been the one in the office, I have always been the one to call them. Annnnnnd; they call my wife"

Another parent says, "It seems like this is common, I work at a car dealership and my wife is a nurse so it's obviously easier for me to leave work. We put my number as the primary contact and they'd still call her, we went as far as to not give her phone number and only give mine and they've still gone out of their way to find her number and call her instead. Now she's the primary contact since that's what they're going to do anyways."

default parent; parenting; mom; dad; motherhood; fatherhood; school calls CPS Caretaker comforts an unwell child with a thermal strip on her forehead.Photo credit: Canva

This dad is the primary parent and the school still doesn't call him: "It’s an absolute fight to get them to call me. I have my kids 2/3 of the time, take them to all appointments and extracurriculars, pack all the lunches, pick them up when there’s an emergency, sign all the paperwork, volunteer in their school and they STILL ALWAYS call their mom."

Clearly, this is societal stereotype that should be put to bed. Dads have become more involved as a whole as each decade passes, splitting domestic labor with their parenting partner more equitably. There are plenty of very capable fathers who care for their children just as well, if not better in some cases, than the mother.

Thankfully, in the case of the original Reddit post, the mother doesn't believe the school actually called CPS, but her experiences highlight the need for a shift in perspective when it comes to who can be the primary parent.

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Woman's whimsical 'Wheel of Fortune' guess is so bad it made her an instant legend

People prefer her guess to the actual answer.

@Rick_Life_Coach/X

Can you solve this "Wheel of Fortune" puzzle?

Watching a game show from the comfort of home is easy. Being on one is a totally different ball game. The lights, the cameras, the pressure. It's enough to make anyone's brain freeze up. And is there any game show that allows contestants to royally embarrass themselves on national TV quite like Wheel of Fortune? There’s always someone going viral for taking a big swing and missing on a phrase that seemed pretty apparent to the casual viewer. And when you take a big loss on a WOF word puzzle, there are a lot of folks shaking their heads at home. More than 8 million people watch the game show every night. Yikes.

One rather notorious of the wheel was Gishma Tabari from Encino, California, whose fantasy-inspired whiff of a common phrase back in 2023 earned her a lot of groans and some support from those who thought her imagination was inspiring. The 3-word puzzle read: “TH _ _ RITI _ S _ GR _ E,” and Tabari offered the answer, “The British Ogre.” The guess surprised host Pat Sajak, who responded, "Uh, no.” Tabari must have missed that there was a space between the R and the E in the puzzle, so ogre would have had to be spelled with 2 Rs.

She also probably wasn’t aware that England isn’t a place known for its ogres. The correct answer was: “The Critics Agree.”

The answer inspired a lot of activity on X, where people couldn’t believe someone could come up with such a fanciful answer to a puzzle with such a straightforward solution.







One person even created a lovely image of what could be the British Ogre.

Although…not everyone had a problem with the guess.

"OK, the puzzle was clearly THE CRITICS AGREE but to be honest I prefer THE BRITISH OGRE because the puzzles could use some more wacky originality sometimes.#WheelOfFortune"— Pasha Paterson (@zer0bandwidth) December 13, 2023

On the bright side, the incorrect guess is an opportunity for the world to learn that ogres aren’t a significant part of English folklore. Sure, there are characters in English myths and legends that have ogre-like qualities, such as Grendel from "Beowulf," the monstrous creature that terrorizes the mead hall of King Hrothgar. There’s also the Boggart, a mischievous spirit much like a hobgoblin and trolls, which appear in some English tales although they originate in Scandinavia.

If you’re looking for ogres in Europe, France is the best place to go.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The word ogre is of French descent and comes from the name of the Etruscan god of the underworld, Orcus. Orcus is a large, ugly, bearded giant who enjoys consuming human flesh. Ogres are primarily known for eating children, which they believe will give them eternal life.

As for Wheel of Fortune, the show will undergo significant changes over the next few years. The show’s host, Pat Sajak, 76, stepped down from the show at the end of the 2024 season after hosting it for 41 years. In September 2024, radio host and “American Idol” emcee Ryan Seacrest took over the hosting spot.

Although, it was just announced that Sajak would be making a special guest appearance on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune, performing what he called "Final Spin."

And in case you're wondering how Tabari is doing: on her Instagram she wears her "Wheel of Fortune Flub Girl" title with pride, declaring she is "British Ogre for life."

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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There are 3 central types of empathy and we all need to understand them much better

Here's what cognitive, emotional, and compassionate empathy mean.

Photo credit: Canva

Empathy is different than sympathy.

Is empathy a real thing? Is it even possible to feel what another person feels if you've not experienced what they are going through? What differentiates it from sympathy or compassion?

While sympathy and empathy are often interchanged and overlap in meaning, the way the words are used differs. If we're looking dictionary definitions, Merriam-Webster sums up the differences:

Sympathy is a feeling of sincere concern for someone who is experiencing something difficult or painful. Empathy involves actively sharing in the person’s emotional experience.

In other words, sympathy is feeling for someone, while empathy is feeling with someone. While some might feel it's impossible to feel empathy for a person if you haven't experienced exactly what they have, that's not really an accurate depiction of what empathy entails. Digging into the three types of empathy—cognitive, emotional, and compassionate—may help us understand.

Cognitive Empathy

The word "cognitive" refers to "conscious intellectual activity (such as thinking, reasoning, or remembering)" and cognitive empathy is "the ability to identify and understand emotions of others."

Essentially, cognitive empathy means we can look at a person's experience, use our intellect to imagine what it would feel like, and form an understanding of how the person is feeling. For instance, let's say your friend's dog died and you've never even had a dog. If you have knowledge of how close the bond can be between a human and a dog, and you've seen how much your friend loved their dog, you can imagine how they are feeling. You don't have to have lost a dog yourself in order to imagine yourself having a close bond with dog and losing them.

empathy, cognitive empathy, sympathy, compassion, emotions Cognitive empathy involves understanding how others feel.Photo credit: Canva

Another example of cognitive empathy is when you see a refugee finally get resettled after fleeing a war zone and sitting for years in limbo and being able to understand their feelings of relief and hope. You don't have to have lived with war or waited years for safety and security in order to understand the feelings those experiences would evoke.

Cognitive empathy allows us to connect with others through an understanding of emotions. It says, "I can see things through your eyes and understand why you feel the way you do."

Emotional Empathy

What sets emotional empathy apart from cognitive empathy is the role our own emotions play. Emotional empathy isn't just understanding; it's experiencing the emotions of the other person. If your friend whose dog died starts to cry and you start to cry, too, that's emotional empathy. If you see the relief on the face of the refugee and find your shoulders dropping and your heart rate slowing and a feeling of calm come over you, that's emotional empathy.

empathy, emotional empathy, affective empathy, compassion, emotions Emotional or affective empathy means feeling what another feels.Photo credit: Canva

Emotional empathy doesn't necessarily mean you've experienced what the other person is experiencing, but rather that you share the emotions of the other person in response to their experience. Tearing up when others cry, feeling joyous when others celebrate, getting angry when others are mad—all manifestations of emotional empathy.

While emotional empathy (also known as affective empathy) can creates strong connections with people, it can also be exhausting if it's not kept in check.

Compassionate Empathy

While sometimes wrapped into the former two, compassionate empathy differs in that it's marked by a desire to act. When you understand a person's feelings and/or feel along with them and want to do something to alleviate their pain or suffering, that's compassionate empathy (sometimes also called "empathic concern").

Let's say you met that refugee while they were still in limbo and afraid for their future. Compassionate empathy might lead you to look for programs that could help them or to volunteer with refugee organizations to help others in similar circumstances.

Empathy helps us connect with our fellow humans and encourages social cohesion. Without empathy, it's much easier to turn a blind eye to injustice and suffering.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Understanding empathy is important not only for connecting with others going through a difficult time, but for all relationships with others in our lives. For instance, psychologist Dr. Daniel Goleman explains the three types of empathy in the context of leadership and why having all three creates the best foundation for effective leadership.

“In general, empathy is a powerful predictor of things we consider to be positive behaviors that benefit society, individuals, and relationships,” Karina Schumann, PhD, a professor of social psychology at the University of Pittsburgh, told Upworthy. “Scholars have shown across domains that empathy motivates many types of prosocial behaviors, such as forgiveness, volunteering, and helping, and that it’s negatively associated with things like aggression and bullying.”

Empathy comes more naturally to some than others, especially considering these three manifestations of it, but it's a skill that everyone can cultivate. The American Psychological Association suggests multiple ways people can consciously boost their empathy:

- Expose yourself to differences (which helps to provide more context for other people's perspectives)

- Read more fiction (character-driven stories can help us better understand people's thoughts, feelings, and motivations)

- Harness oxytocin (increase this social hormone through more eye contact and soft physical touch)

- Identify common ground (the more we see ourselves in others the more easily we find empathy)

- Ask questions (the more we know about one another, the better we understand)

- Know your blocks (learn where you struggle with empathy and work through those struggles)

- Second-guess yourself (stay humble and open to learning, questioning your negative assumptions about people)

A world with more empathy benefits us all in the long run, so it's worth understanding what it entails and how to cultivate it in ourselves.

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Most Americans agree bed sheets get 'gross' after 35 days. Here's what experts say.

Bad news for the once-a-month washers out there.

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The rest of your bedding doesn't need to be washed as often.

Can we all be honest with each other for a minute? If you were to ask a random group of people, "How often do you wash your sheets?" you'd likely get drastically different answers. There are the "Every single Sunday without fail" folks, the "Who on Earth washes their sheets weekly?!?" people and everyone in between.

According to a survey of 1,000 Americans conducted by Mattress Advisor, the average time between sheet changings or washings in the U.S. is 24 days—or every 3 1/2 weeks, approximately. The same survey revealed that 35 days is the average interval at which unwashed sheets are "gross."

washing sheets, bedding, how often should you wash your sheets, making the bed Apparently, most Americans don't wash their sheets as often as experts recommend.Photo credit: Canva

Some of you are cringing at those stats while others are thinking, "That sounds about right." But how often should you wash your sheets, according to experts?

How often should you wash your sheets?

Hint: It's a lot more frequent than 24 days.

While there is no definitive number of days or weeks, most experts recommend swapping out used sheets for clean ones every week or two.

Dermatologist Alok Vij, MD told Cleveland Clinic that people should wash their sheets at least every two weeks, but probably more often if you have pets, live in a hot climate, sweat a lot, are recovering from illness, have allergies or asthma, or if you sleep naked.

washing sheets, bedding, how often should you wash your sheets Experts recommend washing sheet every week or two.Photo credit: Canva

We shed dead skin all the time, and friction helps those dead skin cells slough off, so imagine what's happening every time you roll over and your skin rubs on the sheets. It's normal to sweat in your sleep, too, so that's also getting on your sheets. And then there's dander and dust mites and dirt that we carry around on us just from living in the world, all combining to make for pretty dirty sheets in a fairly short period of time, even if they look "clean."

Maybe if you shower before bed and always wear clean pajamas you could get by with a two-week sheet swap cycle, but weekly sheet cleaning seems to be the general consensus among the experts. The New York Times consulted five books about laundry and cleaning habits, and once a week was what they all recommend.

Sorry, once-a-monthers. You may want to step up your sheet game a bit.

washing sheets, bedding, how often should you wash your sheets, making the bed The rest of your bedding doesn't need to be washed as often.Photo credit: Canva

What about the rest of your bedding? Blankets and comforters and whatnot?

Sleep.com recommends washing your duvet cover once a week, but this depends on whether you use a top sheet. Somewhere between the Gen X and Millennial eras, young folks stopped being about the top sheet life, just using their duvet with no top sheet. If that's you, wash that baby once a week. If you do use a top sheet, you can go a couple weeks longer on the duvet cover.

For blankets and comforters and duvet inserts, Sleep.com says every 3 months. And for decorative blankets and quilts that you don't really use, once a year washing will suffice.

washing sheets, bedding, how often should you wash your sheets, pillows Do you need to wash your pillows occasionally? Experts recommend it.Photo credit: Canva

What about pillows? Pillowcases should go in with the weekly sheet washing, but pillows themselves should be washed every 3 to 6 months. Washing pillows can be a pain, and if you don't do it right, you can end up with a lumpy pillow, but it's a good idea because between your sweat, saliva and skin cells, pillows can start harboring bacteria.

Finally, how about the mattress itself? Home influencers on TikTok can often be seen stripping their beds, sprinkling their mattress with baking soda, brushing it into the mattress fibers and then vacuuming it all out. Architectural Digest says the longer you leave baking soda on the mattress, the better—at least a few hours, but preferably overnight. Some people add a few drops of essential oil to the baking soda for some extra yummy smell.

@suzieqssss

Baking soda absorbs moisture and or odor and breaks down any residue that builds up! If you have allergies you should be doing this more often! #cleaning #lifehack #tiktokshopcybermonday #tiktokshopblackfriday #mattressvacuumcleaner

If that all sounds like way too much work, maybe just start with the sheets. Pick a day of the week and make it your sheet washing day. You might find that climbing into a clean, fresh set of sheets more often is a nice way to feel pampered without a whole lot of effort.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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