Kids try to tell us things all the time that they don't know how to describe.
They don't have the words to say it. Or they're embarrassed, or terrified, like the child in this video. (And while the stat at the end of the video is specifically about India, I've included a look at other countries and here at home below.)
I pledge to make myself more aware of the kids in my life, what they're trying to say to adults around them, and to at least attempt to be in tune with them when there is something bothering them.
I mean, any good parent tries to do that, right?
I'd gamble that the mother in this video thinks she's a good parent.
She probably isa good parent for that matter. But she missed something crucial.
Even the best of parents can miss terribly important bits of data and spoken or even unspoken words that can end up putting their child in danger.
So … on to some of the difficult stuff: statistics that made me clench my fists in rage.
Mind you, there are lots of these kinds of incidents that go unreported, so this is just some of the stuff we know about these countries. And it's by no means limited to the following, but I wanted to give an indication of the problem across the world by sampling a few countries and then focusing on our own backyard:
1. In 2007, 1 in 2 children in India, both boys and girls, were victims of sexual abuse.
2. Almost 35% of all children in Africa are sexually abused or raped.
3. A child is raped about every three minutesin South Africa.
4. In the United States, a child is raped about every two minutes.
5.Every eight minutesin the U.S., child protective services responds to a report of sexual abuse.
6.500,000 babies will be born this year in the U.S. who will be sexually abused before they turn 18.
7. In this country, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men were sexually abused or raped when they were a child. That's over 40 million survivors.
And please note: In countries such as Mexico, Colombia, Uruguay, and Pakistan (among many others) where marriage to children 12 and 14 years old is "legal,"it's still child sexual abuse, even if the marriage is considered sanctioned by the government.
The effects of this abuse are devastating.
The well-documented results when children suffer abuse at the hands of adults include suicide, long-term alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and a lifetime of mental health problems as well as a dramatic increase in the likelihood of becoming a victim again later in life. For many, these factors can lead to time in prison. Some become abusers themselves, replicating the cycle.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."