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6 folks ignored traditional prom dress codes, with stellar results.

They sure know how to work it.

A lot of high school proms have dress codes. But what if they didn't?

MTV asked 12 different folks to dress up for prom and ignore any of the "rules" out there for what they should wear. Here are six of them.

There's Jacob in a glam dress.

"I love wearing fun, gorgeous gowns like this because I feel like I'm expressing myself authentically, and I feel like I'm living my truth, and owning who I am, and sharing that with the world."
— Jacob Tobia

There's Alok with an awesome Prom Queen look.

"What you are, what you feel, how you dress is totally legitimate, and you shouldn't ever have to feel like you have to be something you're not."
— Alok Vaid-Menon

Or Renee's elegant get-up.

"If prom is supposed to be this quintessential high school experience that all young people are supposed to be able to have, what are they doing to make them feel included?"
— Renee Reopell

And Tyler's color-infused beauty.

"I just didn't wanna wear anything that had like gender attached to it."
— Tyler Ford

Harry and Alex have it going on just as well.

"When I get dressed, I want to feel powerful. I love the strong lines, and silhouettes, and the embellishments that were such an integral part of the '80s fashion."
— Harry Hanson

"This is pretty much what I wore to prom, so it was kind of weird to go back and put this on. That's what I was supposed to look like seven years ago."
— Alex Yates

They are all awesome and beautiful in their own way, don't you think?

In a lot of states, high schools have strict gendered dress codes on what people can wear to prom, often policing people's gender expressions and identities. It's sad, and it's limiting.

What MTV and the six people in the video did was show us how beautiful a world without these gender restrictions can be.

Because really, what's more beautiful than seeing people be themselves?

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Pop Culture

Brit shares the one-word 'dead giveaway' that American actors are doing an English accent

There's one word they never get right.

via Warner Bros Discovery

Peter Dinklage on "Game of Thrones?

When it comes to actors doing accents across the pond, some Americans are known for their great British accents, such as Natalie Portman ("The Other Boleyn Girl"), Robert Downey, Jr. ("Sherlock Homes"), and Meryl Streep ("The Iron Lady").

Some have taken a lot of heat for their cartoonish or just plain weird-sounding British accents, Dick Van Dyke ("Mary Poppins"), Kevin Costner ("Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves") and Keanu Reeves ("Bram Stoker's Dracula").

Some actors, such as Tom Hardy (“The Drop”) and Hugh Laurie (“House”), have American accents so good that people have no idea they are British.

Benedict Townsend, a London-based comedian and host of the “Scroll Deep” podcast, says there is one word that American actors playing characters with a British accent never get right. And no, it’s not the word “Schedule,” which British people pronounce the entire first 3 letters, and Americans boil down to 2. And it’s not “aluminum,” which British and American people seem to pronounce every stinking letter differently.

@benedicttown

The one word American actors aways get wrong when doing an English accent

What word do American actors always get wrong when they do British accents?

“There is one word that is a dead giveaway that an English character in a movie or a TV show is being played by an American. One word that always trips them up. And once you notice it, you can't stop noticing it,” Townsend says. “You would see this lot in ‘Game of Thrones’ and the word that would always trip them up was ‘daughter.’”

Townsend adds that when British people say “daughter,” they pronounce it like the word “door” or “door-tah.” Meanwhile, Americans, even when they are putting on a British accent, say it like “dah-ter.”

“So top tip if you are an actor trying to do an English accent, daughter like a door. Like you're opening a door,” Townsend says.



What word do British actors always get wrong when doing American accents?

Some American commenters returned the favor by sharing the word that British actors never get right when using American accents: “Anything.”

"I can always tell a Brit playing an American by the word anything. An American would say en-ee-thing. Brits say it ena-thing,” Dreaming_of_Gaea wrote. "The dead giveaway for English people playing Americans: ‘Anything.’ Brits always say ‘EH-nuh-thin,’” marliemagill added.

"I can always tell an actor is English playing an American when they say ‘anything.’ English people always say it like ‘enny-thin,’” mkmason wrote.



What is the cot-caught merger?

One commenter noted that the problem goes back to the cot-caught merger, when Americans in the western US and Canadians began to merge different sounds into one. People on the East Coast and in Britain pronounce them as different sounds.

“Depending on where you live, you might be thinking one of two things right now: Of course, ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound exactly the same! or There’s no way that ‘cot’ and ‘caught’ sound the same!” Laura McGrath writes at DoYouReadMe. “As a result, although the different spellings remain, the vowel sounds in the words cot/caught, nod/gnawed, stock/stalk are identical for some English speakers and not for others.”

American actors owe Townsend a debt of gratitude for pointing out the one thing that even the best can’t seem to get right. He should also give the commenters a tip of the cap for sharing the big word that British people have trouble with when doing an American accent. Now, if we could just get through to Ewan McGregor and tell him that even though he is fantastic in so many films, his American accent still needs a lot of work.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Teachers

A boy told his teacher she can't understand him because she's white. Her response is on point.

'Be the teacher America's children of color deserve, because we, the teachers, are responsible for instilling empathy and understanding in the hearts of all kids. We are responsible for the future of this country.'

Photo by John Pike. Used with permission.

Emily E. Smith is no ordinary teacher.

Fifth-grade teacher Emily E. Smith is not your ordinary teacher. She founded The Hive Society — a classroom that's all about inspiring children to learn more about their world ... and themselves — by interacting with literature and current events. Students watch TED talks, read Rolling Stone, and analyze infographics.

She even has a long-distance running club to encourage students to take care of their minds and bodies. Smith is such an awesome teacher, in fact, that she recently received the 2015 Donald H. Graves Award for Excellence in the Teaching of Writing.

It had always been her dream to work with children in urban areas, so when Smith started teaching, she hit the ground running. She had her students making podcasts, and they had in-depth discussions about their readings on a cozy carpet.

But in her acceptance speech for her award, she made it clear that it took a turning point in her career before she really got it:

"Things changed for me the day when, during a classroom discussion, one of my kids bluntly told me I "couldn't understand because I was a white lady." I had to agree with him. I sat there and tried to speak openly about how I could never fully understand and went home and cried, because my children knew about white privilege before I did. The closest I could ever come was empathy."

Smith knew that just acknowledging her white privilege wasn't enough.

She wanted to move beyond just empathy and find a way to take some real action that would make a difference for her students.

She kept the same innovative and engaging teaching methods, but she totally revamped her curriculum to include works by people who looked like her students. She also carved out more time to discuss issues that her students were facing, such as xenophobia and racism.

And that effort? Absolutely worth it.

As she said in her acceptance speech:

"We studied the works of Sandra Cisneros, Pam Munoz Ryan, and Gary Soto, with the intertwined Spanish language and Latino culture — so fluent and deep in the memories of my kids that I saw light in their eyes I had never seen before."

The changes Smith made in her classroom make a whole lot of sense. And they're easy enough for teachers everywhere to make:

— They studied the work of historical Latino figures, with some of the original Spanish language included. Many children of color are growing up in bilingual households. In 2007, 55.4 million Americans 5 years of age and older spoke a language other than English at home.

— They analyzed the vision of America that great writers of color sought to create. And her students realized that our country still isn't quite living up to its ideals. Despite progress toward racial equality with the end of laws that enforced slavery or segregation, we still have a long way to go. Black people still fare worse than white people when it comes to things like wealth, unfair arrests, and health.

— They read excerpts from contemporary writers of color, like Ta-Nehisi Coates who writes about race. Her students are reading and learning from a diverse group of writers. No small thing when they live in a society that overwhelmingly gives more attention to white male writers (and where the number of employees of color in the newspaper industry stagnates at a paltry 12%).

— They read about the Syrian crisis, and many students wrote about journeys across the border in their family history for class. The opportunity particularly struck one student; the assignment touched him so much that he cried. He never had a teacher honor the journey his family made. And he was proud of his heritage for the first time ever. "One child cried," Smith shared, "and told me he never had a teacher who honored the journey his family took to the United States. He told me he was not ashamed anymore, but instead proud of the sacrifice his parents made for him."

Opportunities like this will only increase as the number of children from immigrant families is steadily increasing. As of 2013, almost 17.4 million children under 18 have at least one immigrant parent.

Smith now identifies not just as an English teacher, but as a social justice teacher.

ethnicity, responsibility, empathy

Teaching in a racially and ethnically diverse world.

Photo by John Pike. Used with permission.

Smith's successful shift in her teaching is an example for teachers everywhere, especially as our schools become increasingly ethnically and racially diverse. About 80% of American teachers are white. But as of last year, the majority of K-12 students in public schools are now children of color.

As America's demographics change, we need to work on creating work that reflects the experiences that our students relate to. And a more diverse curriculum isn't just important for students of color. It's vital for everyone.

As Smith put it, "We, the teachers, are responsible for instilling empathy and understanding in the hearts of all kids. We are responsible for the future of this country."


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Pets

Research shows why you should always pet your dog before leaving the house

via Pixabay

One of the most wonderful things about having a dog is how attached they become to their owners. I work from home and my Jack Russel terrier, Scout, lies next to me on his bed for most of the day. The only time he leaves my office is for a sip of water or to go outside and sun his belly on the porch.

That's why whenever I leave the house and can't take Scout with me, I wonder, "Does he miss me? Is he sad that he's alone?" Studies show that our dogs miss us the moment we leave the house and that feeling slowly intensifies until we are gone for about four hours and they have a "plateau of melancholy." That's why the longer you're away, the more excited your dog is when you return home.

The moment I pull up in my car Scout begins to howl like a wolf trying to contact someone who's miles away. It's like, "Dude, I'm 30 feet away. Give me a second to grab the groceries out of the trunk."

Researchers from the Universities of Pisa and Perugia, Italy have found that if you give your dog some affection before you leave the house they'll have less anxiety while you're away.

They conducted experiments with 10 dogs between the ages of one and 11 without attachment issues. The group was composed of seven mixed-breed dogs, one Labrador retriever, one Hovawart, and one Chihuahua.

Participants in the study walked their leashed dogs into a fenced area where they were greeted by a researcher who took their dog's heart rate. In the first test, after the owners walked their dogs into the area, they talked with a researcher for one minute then left without giving the dog any special attention.

In the second test, the dog owners petted the dog during their interaction with the researcher.

In both tests, the owners left the fenced area and hid far enough away so that the dog couldn't smell them.

After the owners left, the dogs looked for them for about three minutes on average. After the owners returned, the researchers measured the dogs' levels of the stress hormone cortisol as well as their heart rates.

The researchers found that whether the dogs were petted or not, their cortisol levels were unchanged. But their heart rate showed a marked decrease if the owners petted them before leaving. Researchers later watched videos of the dogs and found that the ones that were petted showed " behaviors indicative of calmness for a longer period while waiting for the owner's return."

Next time I'm ready to leave the house and Scout follows me to the front door after saying, "Sorry bud, you can't go with me on this trip," I'll kneel down and give him a little extra love and attention.

Maybe that way he won't howl like the house is on fire when I pull up in my car after a trip to the grocery store.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Parenting

A mom had the best response after a neighbor complained about her toddler's sidewalk chalk

Well done.

via AktivierungsCoach-Geier/Pixabay

Sidewalk chalk incenses nosey neighbor.

No neighborhood would be complete without that one neighbor who complains about the pettiest things. The big problem comes when you live in a shared building or have a homeowner's association where that nosey neighbor has the power to make your life miserable.

Ashley Woodfolk, a young adult fiction writer in Brooklyn, couldn't believe that someone in her co-op complained about her toddler writing in sidewalk chalk in the courtyard of her building.

For those who live outside of New York City, a co-op is a type of housing where each resident is a shareholder in a corporation and pays for their living area based on its size. Co-ops usually have a committee or board that meets to handle issues that arise in the building.

It's incredible to believe that someone would be so shallow that they'd complain about a toddler drawing in sidewalk chalk. All it takes is a hose or a light rain and the chalk will disappear forever.

Woodfolk was incensed that someone would make such a complaint. So she decided to apologize to the woman by writing a massive letter in the courtyard using sidewalk chalk.

"This will be my last time using sidewalk chalk in the courtyard since it seems to be such a problem for you (and only for you). I'm sorry harmless fun that brought my toddler joy (and has actually helped him learned all of his letters and most of his numbers –– his favorites are E and 8) causes you so much distress that you had to complain to the board and waste everyone's time when our building has much bigger real problems.

"I think you're aware that we're in a pandemic and while I'd love to take my kid to museums and the movies I don't feel safe doing that, and sometimes even local parks are more crowded than I'm comfortable with. The courtyard was a safe space but now there are limits on that too. There only a few weeks of nice weather left, and I sincerely hope you enjoy the use of the sidewalk-chalk free courtyard for the remainder of the fall. And I hope that every time it rains, rain that would have washed away any colorful ABCs I wrote on the ground, you think of me."

All my love, Ashley."

To make sure she got her message across, she also left a letter for the woman in the lobby of the building.


The woman got the message.



Woodfolk doesn't blame the board for having to hear about the complaint. She assumes they heard about it multiple times and had to give her the news because they didn't want to be harassed.



Let's hope that Woodfolk's dramatic reaction teaches the woman, and anyone else who wants to make petty complaints, that they should think twice before reporting someone to the board. They just might get a taste of their own pettiness in a glorious way.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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parenting

Guy shares what happened when he accidentally 'sexted' his boss at work

This gives performance reports a whole new meaning.

Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash
woman holding iPhone during daytime

Write text. Hit send. Heart sinks because WHOOPS, actually sent that text to the wrong person. Most of us have had some version of this. Maybe you're sharing shady memes about a buddy and accidentally text it to that buddy. Perhaps you send a "Please pick up some wine after work" note to your kid's kindergarten teacher.

But one guy on Reddit took the cringe-level up a notch when he, completely by mistake, sexted his boss. One minute, he's chilling on his couch, thinking he's crafted the perfect sexy text to the woman he recently started seeing. The next moment, upon realization that his boss was the recipient, he describes his "soul leave his body."

The million dollar question is, what did he write? Here it is: "I can't stop thinking about you. I swear if I was there, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you."

Giphy

Now we all know it could have been a lot worse. But he explains, "I freaked out so hard, I almost threw my phone across the room." Panic set in. Of course, he tried to recall the message, but it was too late. Then he thought his next logical step was obviously, "Well, I guess I have to quit my job!"

Ten endless minutes goes by and DING. His boss texts back. Will he be mocked? Worse, will he be fired? But instead, his boss writes (somewhat mercifully) "Uh…I don't think this was meant for me."


This doesn't totally quell his anxiety. He messages back, " OMG sorry, wrong number, haha, you know how it is, LOL!" But after no further communication, he's a bit unsure about his job security.

burt lancaster GIFGiphy

Many in the comment section try to put him at ease. One person suggests, " Just laugh it off when you see them, assuming they have some kind of sense of humor. 'Oh hey, sorry about the message thing. Hope I didn't get your hopes up' or 'last time I take advice online about how to get a promotion."

Another Redditor suggests he take it more seriously. " Eh. I'd say offer a sincere apology first, take it seriously because it is indeed a serious slip in today's culture. Going straight to 'laughing it off' can give the appearance that you're reckless. Offer a genuine apology, and he will most likely let you off the hook."

man iphone GIF by NRK P3Giphy

Another agrees with this approach, "Don’t make a joke about it, just say sorry it was meant for someone else and you made a mistake. Making a joke about it is taking a gamble. You don’t need to save face, it was just a mistake."

Still, most of the comments encourage him not to stress, with the hopes that his supervisor has the wit to handle it. One adds the positive spin, "You gave him a funny story to tell his friends this weekend. You’re fine, try not to stress about it. It might even open up an avenue for you and your boss to bond a little bit over a hilarious mix-up and the dating scene."

The best piece of advice comes from someone who actually was the boss in a similar scenario. He writes, " I have had an employee do this to me. My name has a female counterpart that's pretty close, got the text at 2:00 a.m. something along the lines of 'I miss you. I happen to be up', I replied with, 'wrong person, drink some water. We'll see you in the morning.' Point is I wouldn't worry about it."

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