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6 alternatives to saying 'let me know if you need anything' to someone in crisis

If someone is drowning, you don't wait for them to ask for help. You just take action.

woman crying with her hand on a rainy window
Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

People going through major struggles don't always know what they need or how to ask for help.

When we see someone dealing with the loss of a loved one or some other major life crisis, it's instinctual for many of us to ask how we can help. Often, the conversation looks something like this:

Us: I am SO sorry you're going through this. What can I do to help?

Person in crisis: I honestly don't know right now.

Us: Okay…well…you let me know if you need anything—anything at all.

Person in crisis: Okay, thank you.

Us: I mean it. Don't hesitate to ask. I'm happy to help with whatever you need.

And then…crickets. The person never reaches out to take you up on the offer.

Was it that they didn't really need any help, this person going through a major life crisis? Unlikely. As sincere as our offer may have been, the problem may be that we didn't really offer them what they actually needed.

One of those needs is to not have to make decisions. Another is to not have to directly ask for help.

When a person is in a state of crisis, they can feel like they're drowning. They might be disoriented and fatigued, and doing anything other than keeping their head above water long enough to breathe can feel like too much.

If someone is drowning, you don't ask them what you can do to help or wait for them to ask. Youjust take action.

Here are some specific ways you can take action to help someone who you know needs help but isn't able or willing to ask for it:

1. Make them food

It may be tempting to ask if you can make them a meal and wait for them to say yes or no, but don't. Simply ask if they or anyone in their household has any dietary restrictions, and then start shopping and cooking.

Meals that can be popped in the refrigerator or freezer and then directly into the oven or microwave are going to be your best bets. Include cooking or reheating instructions if it's not obvious. Disposable aluminum trays are great for homemade freezer-to-oven meals and can be found at just about any grocery store. Casseroles. Stir fried rices. Soups. Comfort foods.

If you don't cook, you can buy them gift cards to local restaurants that deliver, or give them a DoorDash or UberEats gift certificate (large enough to cover the delivery, service fees and tip as well, which combined can be as much as a meal sometimes).

lasagna in the oven

Easy-prep meals people can throw in the oven are great.

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

Even better—organize a meal train

If you want to make it a community-wide effort and no one else has done so yet, set up a "meal train," where different people sign up for different days to bring meals to spread out the food help over time. There are several free websites you can use for this purpose, including Give In Kind, Meal Train, and Take Them a Meal. These sites make it super easy for anyone with the personalized link to sign up for a meal.

someone scrubbing a pot in a kitchen sink

There are always dishes to wash.

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

2. Clean their kitchen and/or bathrooms

Kitchens are always in use, and keeping up with dishes, especially in a house full of people, is a challenge even under normal circumstances. Same with keeping the refrigerator cleaned out. Same with cleaning the bathroom.

Rather than asking if they want it done, as many people won't want to say yes even if they would appreciate the help, try saying something like, "I want to come and make sure your kitchen is ready for you to make food whenever you want to and that your bathroom is a clean space for you to escape to whenever you feel like it. Is Tuesday or Wednesday at 1:00 better for you?"

The fewer complex decisions a person in crisis has to make the better, so saying, "Is this or that better?" rather than offering open-ended possibilities can be helpful.

woman folding clothes

There is always laundry to fold, too.

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

3. Do laundry

Offer to sit and chat with them, let them vent if they need to…and fold their laundry while you're at it.

Are they the kind of people who might be embarrassed by you seeing or handling their underclothes? Fine. Wash, dry and fold towels or bedsheets instead. Just keep the laundry moving for them.

And if it doesn't feel appropriate or desirable for you to do their laundry at their house, you can offer a pick-up laundry service, either yourself or an actual hired service. Tell the person to put bags or bins of laundry at the door and you (or the service) will come pick it up and bring it back clean and folded the next day. That's a great way to be of service without feeling like you're intruding.

man pulling food and toilet paper out of the car

Offer to pick stuff up when you're on a grocery run.

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

4. Run errands for them

"Hey, I'm heading out to the store, what can I grab you while I'm there?" is always a welcome phone call or text. Let them know when you're going to be running your own errands and see if there's anything they need dropped at the post office, picked up from the pharmacy, or anything else.

You can also offer to run errands with them. "Hey, I've got some errands to run. Do you want to join me?" They may have no desire to leave the house, or they may desperately want to leave the house, so be prepared for either answer, but the offer is solid. Even just not having to drive might be a relief if they have things they need to pick up or drop off places.

woman holding hands with a small child as they walk

Caring for someone's kids is one of the most helpful things you can do.

Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash

5. Provide childcare

If the person is a parent, taking their kid(s) out for a chunk of the day can be a big help. Caring for yourself is hard when you're going through a difficult time, and the energy a person might use to actually do that often gets usurped by caring for others. Obviously, parents can't just neglect their children, so anything you can do to relieve them of that responsibility for a while is gold.

Offering to take the kids to do something fun—a day at the park, ice skating, etc. is even better. A parent knowing their kid is safe, occupied, and happy is its own form of relief.

6. Ask what they're struggling with and focus your help there

While all of these practical household things are helpful, there might be some people who find comfort or solace in doing those things themselves. If that's the case, talk with them about what their immediate needs are and what they're having a hard time dealing with. Then focus your energies there. "What can I do to help?" may not be as effective a question as "What are you having a hard time doing right now?" They may not know what kind of help they need, but they probably know how they're struggling.

One person might be lonely and just want some company. Another person might need a creative outlet or a mindless distraction or something physical like going for a walk or a hike. Someone else might have pets they need help caring for, a garden that needs tending, or the oil changed in their car. Someone might even need a person to serve as a shield or buffer between them and all the people coming to offer their condolences.

Note that many of these things are basic life maintenance stuff—those are often the things that get hard for people when they're dealing with the emotional and logistical stuff surrounding whatever they're going through, and they're often the easiest things other people can do for them. A time of crisis is not a normal time, so normal etiquette, such as asking if you can or should do something rather than just letting them know you're going to do it, doesn't always apply.

If there's a specific thing with specific tasks, such as planning a funeral, that might be a good opportunity to ask how you can help. But people deep in the throes of grief or struggle often need someone to take the reins on basic things without being asked to. Again, there's a good chance they feel like they're drowning, so don't wait for an invitation. Just grab the life preserver, put it around them and do whatever needs to be done to get them to shore.

Note: This advice is especially relevant now as Californians struggle with the Wildfire Crisis. In light of many losing their homes, possessions, and loved ones, knowing how to help and what to do might be even more difficult. Check out our Community Resource Guide for ways to offer aid and relief to those impacted.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Land O'Lakes® products are made from milk sourced directly from member-owned farms, including butters, cheeses, spreads and other dairy staples loved by consumers for cooking, baking and snacking
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Land O’Lakes and Clove are filling the nation’s food banks with much-needed butter and shoes

Land O’Lakes and Clove are teaming up to bring comfort to communities in need.

True

Food banks are a community staple for millions of Americans. Not only do they provide nutritional assistance to low-income families, they’re also often one of the few places where people can get non-food essentials like diapers, toiletries, paper towels, clothing and more. For the 44 million people in the United States facing food insecurity, pantries can literally be a lifeline.

But that lifeline is at risk. Food pantries rely on donations, both from individuals and government programs, to stay stocked. Rising poverty levels and budget cuts mean that food pantries sometimes can’t meet the demands of their communities—and as a result, families go without.

No person should struggle for basic needs—which is why Land O’Lakes is teaming up with Clove in the name of comfort ahead of the 2025 holiday season.

Comfort, meet comfort.

A partnership between a farmer-owned cooperative and a modern footwear brand might seem like an unusual pairing. But the reality is that both organizations provide things that are enjoyable and much needed for American families.

You might be surprised to learn, for example, that dairy is one of the most requested but least-donated items at food banks around the nation. From a nutritional lens, dairy is a source of high-quality protein that provides 3 of 4 nutrients—calcium, potassium and vitamin D—that low-income households are at risk of missing from their diets.

But on a larger scale, dairy provides comfort. Items like butter, milk and cream are in high demand, particularly around the end of the year since so many families use these items for baking holiday treats. And while shoes can be stylish gifts, they’re also a basic necessity for hardworking frontline workers who provide care for others and spend hours on their feet. In fact, 96 million people in the U.S. spend their work shift standing.

"We are so excited to collaborate with Clove Shoes and take a moment to celebrate the color of the moment, but also our everyday favorite, butter yellow," said Heather Anfang, president of Land O'Lakes Dairy Foods. "As a company who shares our values of community, hard work and comfort, we are thrilled for the launch of their shoe but also for our shared donation to those in need in an important area for our two brands in Philadelphia."

Meaningful giving when people need it most

Together, the organizations have donated dozens of sneakers and more than 3,750 pounds of butter to Philabundance, one of the largest food banks in Philadelphia and part of Feeding America’s nationwide network of food banks, pantries, and meal programs. As they team up to donate needed supplies, they’re also helping families feel nourished—inside and out—ahead of the cold winter months.

"As a Philadelphia-based brand, we’re proud to give back to the community we call home—nourishing our city and supporting those who care every day," shares Jordyn Amoroso, Co-founder and CBO. Clove has also gifted 88 shoes to the students enrolled at Philabundance Community Kitchen: a free, life-changing workforce development program run by Philabundance.

At a time when so many are stretched thin and families are moving into the holiday season facing food insecurity, collaborations like these can provide an unexpected value—a chance to revitalize local communities, to nourish families, and show how comfort can take many different forms.

Learn more about this unexpected partnership here.

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Democracy

Economics expert pinpoints the exact moment in 2012 when 'America went to hell'

Geography was more important than we thought.

via Canva/Photos

An angry man in front of the American flag.

America has never been a perfect place, but since the Civil War, it has been one where most people bought into the idea of the country and supported the institutions that keep it running. People may disagree on politics and culture, but when America was threatened, whether it was 9/11 or World War II, people came together to fight for the country they love, even though the reasons may have differed.

However, it’d be naive to say that sentiment is still as strong as it once was. Since The Great Recession, many people have felt that the vibes are off in America, and polls and research back those feelings. Right around 2012, when smartphones became ubiquitous, there was a considerable rise in the number of people who felt that America was on the wrong track and that racism and sexism were considerably worse than they were just a year before. There was also a big spike in mental illness.

So what happened in 2012? Did the world suddenly become drastically worse overnight, or had our perceptions been changed?

woman, dispair, smartphone, bad news, woman in kitchen, upset woman A woman is upset looking at her smartphone.via Canva/Photos

Why does it feel like America is on the decline?

Other developed countries have experienced similar vibe shifts since 2012, but it has hit America the hardest. Economics blogger Noah Smith explains why this feeling of malaise has hit America so hard, and he illustrates it perfectly in a viral Substack piece called “Social media destroyed one of America's key advantages.” Smith is an American blogger and commentator on economics and current events and former assistant professor of behavioral finance at Stony Brook University.

In his Substack post, Smith postulates that the technological change hit America the hardest because it punctured our geographical buffers. “A hippie in Oakland and a redneck in the suburbs of Houston both fundamentally felt that they were part of the same unified nation; that nation looked very different to people in each place,” Smith writes. “Californians thought America was California, and Texans thought America was Texas, and this generally allowed America to function.”

Why did America fundamentally change in 2012?

Here’s an excerpt from Smith’s piece. Please check out the entire piece on the Noahpinion Substack.

Like some kind of forcible hive mind out of science fiction, social media suddenly threw every American in one small room with every other American. Decades of hard work spent running away from each other and creating our ideologically fragmented patchwork of geographies went up in smoke overnight, as geography suddenly ceased to mediate the everyday discussion of politics and culture.

The sudden collapse of geographic sorting in political discussion threw all Americans in the same room with each other — and like the characters in Sartre’s No Exit, they discovered that “Hell is other people.” Conservatives suddenly discovered that a lot of Americans despise Christianity or resent White people over the legacy of discrimination. Liberals suddenly remembered that a lot of their countrymen frown on their lifestyles. Every progressive college kid got to see every piece of right-wing fake news that their grandparents were sharing on Facebook (whereas before, these would have been quietly confined to chain emails). Every conservative in a small town got to see Twitter activists denouncing White people. And so on.


protests, american protest, protest sign, demonstration, mass gathering A group of people protesting in the street.via Ted Eytan/Flickr

It may sound cynical to believe that America was a better place when people were less likely to talk to people with a different worldview. But, given how things have gone in the past 15 years, it’s fair to say that putting every American in a proverbial ring to fight it out just makes everyone feel under attack... and the fight never ends.

The problem with the Like button

Another development around the same time that many believe negatively affected the country was the development of the Like button on Facebook. The button made its debut in 2009, and it, along with the share button, which came in 2010, incentivized people to create content that their audience agreed with, creating echo chambers. The buttons also incentivized people to make outrage-provoking posts and create fake stories to go viral and increase advertising revenue.

maga, trump supporters, trump flags, trump rally, american flags Trump supporters at a rally.via Elvert Barnes/Flickr

The positive takeaway from Smith’s geographical sorting theory is that, quite possibly, many people’s perceptions about life in Amerca are wrong because we’re seeing it through the distorted, funhouse mirror of social media that shows us every bad deed in a country of 330 million people and amplifies the voices of the unscroupulous. By pinpointing the moment that America “went to hell,” as author Jonathan Haidt says, we also have a roadmap to get back to when people had greater faith in America’s institutions and people.

This article originally appeared in June.

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22 common Southern phrases that leave people scratching their heads, laughing, or both

The accent isn't the only thing different below the Mason-Dixon line.

Photo credit: Canva

22 common Southern phrases that leave people scratching their heads

Visiting different states within America can sometimes feel like traveling to a completely different country, given the significant cultural differences and accents. Visiting parts of Louisiana may make you feel like you require a translator to navigate your vacation, as people often speak Creole or Cajun—both of which have very thick, unique accents. Southern Mississippi also has a mishmash of accents that range from Cajun to a non-distinct regional accent.

But one thing North Carolina has in common with states like Texas, Mississippi, and Louisiana is that they all have a range of southern colloquialisms that translate fine between southern states. It's when those creative southern phrases make their way above the Mason-Dixon Line that causes some confusion. Many southerners who travel north for work, pleasure, or relocation adapt quickly to not using uniquely southern phrases after experiencing looks of bewildered confusion.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases Welcome to North Carolina State Line!Photo credit: Canva

Oftentimes, southerners don't even know where their beloved and well-used phrases originated or why. As far as a Google search pulls up, there's never been a child born in the world who has ever been small enough to be "knee high to a grasshopper," but that's not going to stop PawPaw from saying it. People who are used to hearing the sometimes outrageous phrases simply interpret them themselves and add them to their own lexicon for future use.

General Southern expressions to keep in your pocket

1. "You don't believe fat meat is greasy."

This is an expression often used when someone is intent on not listening to advice. It essentially means they won't believe it until they see or experience it themselves. We all know someone who has to learn lessons the hard way, and this is the saying that conveys that message without sounding harsh.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases Smiling together: "The Lord Willing and the Creek Don’t Rise."Photo credit: Canva

2. "The Lord willing and the creek don't rise."

A phrase like this is used a lot by elders. It just adds a little dramatic flair when they're making plans. In a conversation, it would go like this: "So, I'll see you next Sunday at the potluck, right?" There may be a pause for emphasis along with a fist perched on their hip before responding, "The Lord willing and the creek don't rise." Just know they'll be there as long as they wake up in the morning and there's no natural disaster preventing them from getting there.

3. "There's more than one way to skin a cat."

This particular one is a phrase my husband uses often. It is often said by men doing manual labor, whether it's at work or around the house. If someone is trying something that isn't working, they have to come up with a better idea of how to make it work. If the original person pushes back on trying it a different way, that's when you'll hear, "There's more than one way to skin a cat." To date, no one has skinned a cat to prove a point, that I'm aware of, but there's debate on its origin. It's believed to come from a phrase used in the mid-1600s in England, "There's more than one way to kill a dog than hanging."

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases Surprised cat faces an idiom shock!Photo credit: Canva

Eventually, it got changed to the cat idiom southerners say today, though some suggest the phrase came from when women's coats were made from cat fur...(that's information you can't unlearn). Either way, as someone who has lived in the south for more than 20 years, you can rest assured that the only people skinning cats down here are taxidermists with the pet owner's permission. Just know they're saying there's more than one way to get the job done.

4. "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

This is just a fancy way of telling someone not to lie to you.

5. "Well, you look rode hard and put up wet."

Honestly, if someone says this to you, you're looking mighty bad. This means not only do you look exhausted, but you also look disheveled, and maybe even ill. When people say this, it's not meant to be rude. They're typically genuinely concerned about your well-being, whether it be that you appear to need a break or you need to rest and get some soup in your belly.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases Feeling under the weather with a warm cup in hand.Photo credit: Canva

6. "P*ss or get off the pot" and "Fish or cut bait."

These two phrases mean the exact same thing. They're calling out someone's lack of progress and can be applied to all sorts of situations. It means to do what you're supposed to be doing or get out of the way so someone else can do the job you won't. By the time someone says this, they're a little annoyed, so it's best to go ahead and "pee or get off the pot" before they move you over and do it themselves.

7. "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

You can stick this in the same category as, "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle." It's meant to convey genuine surprise and delight in information they've just received or upon seeing someone they haven't seen in a while and weren't expecting. It's a fun one to say, even outside of the South, due to the humorous element.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases "Fluffy biscuits and a sassy Southern saying!"Photo credit: Canva

8. "I've got a hitch in my giddy-up"

You've got a limp due to hurting yourself somehow, or you're feeling under the weather in some way that's slowing you down.

9. "Why, bless your little pea-pickin' heart."

Ouch! You've just been insulted, and they wanted to make sure you knew. "Bless your heart" on its own can be said in a condescending way or a genuine, "I'm so sorry you're going through this" way. Using tone and context clues can help you decipher the difference. But when they add "little pea-pickin" right in the middle of the phrase, go grab some ointment because that was meant to sting.

10. "I'm going to snatch her baldheaded."

Whoever is the target of that comment should probably avoid being around the person making it. See also, "I'm going to jerk a knot in her tail." When it's an adult directing the comment at another adult, it could simply mean they're going to have a verbal confrontation. But, depending on the person, it could also mean physical confrontation because that is not off the table in Southern culture. If it's a parent directing the expression towards their child, then it usually means that the child is going to get into trouble.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases Two women in a park having a tense conversation.Photo credit: Canva

Southern expressions about looks and intelligence

11. "Pull your dress down, everyone can see Christmas."

This feels self-explanatory, but it's something you might hear a friend say to another friend to address a wardrobe malfunction. You may also hear a parent telling their young daughter a version of this as they're learning how to properly sit in a dress. Also see, "Pull down that skirt! We can see clear to the promised land."

12. "They fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

Also in the vein of calling someone unattractive, one might say, "He's so ugly he could make paint peel."

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases "Tight pants, revealing every curve and thought."Photo credit: Canva

13. "Pants are so tight you can see his thoughts."

Those are some really tight pants.

14. "She's just as loony as a Betsy Bug."

Until today, I had no idea what a Betsy Bug was, but apparently it's a type of beetle that eats decomposing wood. There doesn't seem to be an explanation for what makes the beetle loony, though.

15. "Well, aren't you as bright as a box of black crayons."

Have you ever seen a bright black crayon? If southerners are good at one thing, it's insults.

southern sayings; funny sayings; speaking southern; funny; silly; southern phrases "Bright as a Box of Black Crayons" - a humorous twist on brightness.Photo credit: Canva

16. "That boy's so dumb he'd throw himself on the ground and miss."

See also: "He ain't got the good sense God gave a mule," and, "If he had an idea, it would die of loneliness."

Bonus sayings you don't want to miss

Clearly, southerners have a way with words, but there are a few more that can be fun to pull out for a party trick. A favorite is, "That really burns my biscuits," but a close second is, "I'm fuller than a tick on a dog's behind." If you want to get around the ears of nosey children while having a chat about an adult encounter, some people in the south will say, "He took me to church," "I was singing opera," or "We stayed in and played the piano."

Whenever you decide to pull out any of these phrases, just make sure it's not one that'll make someone "madder than a wet hen," and you'll be golden.

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Here’s a paycheck for a McDonald’s employee. And here's my jaw hitting the ground.

The federal minimum wage is still less than this.

via JustFrugalMe/YouTube

How can anyone get by on this?

I've written extensively about minimum wage, supported by fact-checkers, economists, and scholarly studies. All of them support raising the minimum wage as a solution to lifting people out of poverty and getting them off public assistance. It's slowly happening, and there's much more to be done.

But when it comes right down to it, where the rubber meets the road is what it means for everyday workers who have to live with those wages. I honestly don't know how they do it. Ask yourself: Could I live on this small of an hourly wage? I know what my answer is.

(And note that the minimum wage in many parts of the county is STILL $7.25, so it could be even less than this).

paychecks, McDonalds, corporate power, broken systemOne year of work at McDonalds grossed this worker $13,811.18.via JustFrugalMe/YouTube

The YouTube channel Just Frugal Me discussed the viral paycheck and noted there's absolutely nothing wrong with working at McDonald's. More than 2 million people in the U.S. alone work for the fast food giant. The worker's paycheck shows they put in 72 hours over the pay period, making $8.75 per hour. Before taxes, that's $631 for the week. Just Frugal Me's breakdown is even more eye-opening, breaking down this person's pay after taxes and weighing across average rent and utility costs. Spoiler Alert: the total costs for basic necessities far outweigh what this person is making even while working 12 hours per day. But they do make too much to qualify for Medicaid, meaning they will have to go out and buy their own health insurance.

mcdonald's, minimum wage, restaurants, fast food, burgers, big macA photo of a McDonald's in Hartford, CT. via Mike Mozart/Flickr

Even in states like California, where the state's $20 minimum wage ensures that people earn nearly three times as much as the federal minimum wage, which remains as low as when this paycheck first made the rounds nearly 10 years ago.

Still, even for a worker that maxed out at 40 hours per week and took zero vacation or sick time, that's only a little over $41,000 per year. That's barely half the median wage in the state of $78,000 and far below a sustainable living wage in cities like Los Angeles.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The U.S. federal minimum wage is just $7.25 and hasn't been raised since 2009. In April 2025, the Raise the Wage Act of 2025 was introduced in the House of Representatives and U.S. Senate. The bill would increase the federal minimum wage to $17 an hour by 2030 and eliminate the subminimum wage for tipped workers and those with disabilities. But supporters should be cautious that it's unlikely to pass the Republican-controlled Congress.

If the Wage Act of 2025 were to pass, over $22 million workers would get a raise, which is 15% of the U.S. workforce. It would raise $70 billion for low-wage Americans, an increase of $3,200 per worker.

“No person working full-time in America should be living in poverty," Virginia Congressman Bobby Scott said in a statement. "The Raise the Wage Act will increase the pay and standard of living for nearly 22 million workers across this country. Raising the minimum wage is good for workers, good for business, and good for the economy. When we put money in the pockets of American workers, they will spend that money in their communities,”

This story originally appeared ten years ago. It has been updated to reflect new information.

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70 percent of those who have a near-death experience have a profound spiritual change

“I know I’ll never be the same person ever..."

via Canva/Photos

A woman leaving her body.

Near-death experiences, or NDEs, can have a profound effect on someone’s life. Common experiences people have during an NDE are leaving their body and watching themselves from above, seeing a bright light, moving towards it, and encountering deceased loved ones and spiritual figures.

For many, the experience can create unexplainable joy, a sense of peace, and unconditional love. People often feel like they have an enlightened understanding of the world and that life’s great mysteries have been revealed. Some say they undergo an audit where their life flashes before their eyes. For many, the experience is positive and exhilarating. For others, they enter a dark, joyless void. But regardless of whether someone's NDE was positive or negative, it is always profound.

How does a near-death experience affect people?

A recent study from the University of Virginia’s Division of Perceptual Studies is believed to be the first to attempt to understand the psychological impact that NDEs have on people. It found that 70% of “participants reported changes in religious or spiritual beliefs and altered views on survival after death.” Previous studies had also found that after an NDE, people experienced spiritual growth and became more spiritually oriented.

The news that people regularly experience spiritual growth after an NDE should be comforting to many. The idea that death is a spiritual experience for most should make people feel more comfortable with their eventual exit from this realm.

death, going towards light, path to light, garden, Going towards the light.via Canva/Photos

“My NDE was considerable; I know I’ll never be the same person ever, so ongoing reflection and inner work are needed daily,” one study participant said. While others found it to be a “double-edged sword,” because they wanted to share their experience with others to assuage fears about dying, but thought they’d be seen as crazy. It has to be painful to have this amazing sense of existential relief and have to keep it to yourself.

Around 20% of people who experience an NDE reconsider the choices they’ve made in life and report marriage dissolutions or break-ups.

What does science say about near-death experiences?

“We know a lot about these experiences from decades of research, including their typical manifestations, incidence, medical circumstances, their impact on individuals, and even the physiological conditions of patients who have them,” researcher Marieta Pehlivanova, PhD, of UVA Health’s Department of Psychiatry and Neurobehavioral Sciences, said in a statement. “However, the research on how to support these patients and their specific needs is still limited. We hope to begin addressing this gap and to inspire other researchers, especially clinicians, to devote time and care in pursuing these questions.”

ghost, spirit, phantom, death, sheet, A ghost.via Canva/Photos

NDEs have always baffled scientists, but some neuroscientists argue that they aren’t spiritual experiences but the brain’s intense reaction to facing death. Researchers who measured brain activity in people who had just been taken off life support found an increase in gamma-frequency—activity associated with consciousness—near the back of the brain. This could account for the dramatic changes in perception during an NDE.

Researchers looking into the brains of rats suffering from asphyxiation—a lack of oxygen in the brain similar to what a human has during a heart attack—found huge spikes in brain chemicals, including dopamine, norepinephrine, adenosine, and gamma-aminobutyric acid. Serotonin levels also surged to 20 times their normal level.

Although there is no scientific consensus on why people have these dramatic experiences, the researchers at the University of Virginia know that those who go through them need quality care to process them. “We are hoping that this work sheds light on the support needs of individuals who have had a near-death experience and are trying to make sense of it and its impact,” Pehlivanova said. “In a new era of holistic patient care and extensive research on these experiences, including in medical journals, it is important to highlight the need for education of healthcare providers to address the gap in care for these patients.”

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13 kids’ movies adults say are far more profound than most people realize

"Babe. There's a reason it got a Best Picture nom."

Razor Shark/YouTube

Brb, just gonna watch all of these movies again.

Sure, Netflix's KPop Demon Hunters had dazzling animation, fun characters, and a soundtrack full of catchy earworms, but another huge part of why it became such a mega-success was its depth.

Beneath the eye-catching choreo and high-energy fight scenes were themes of identity, belonging, and self acceptance that hit harder than most grown-up dramas. It’s a reminder that some “kids movies” aren’t just for kids at all.

And, as one recent Reddit thread proved, it’s certainly not the only one that delivers an unexpected gem of wisdom.

Adults were asked which children’s films “are way more profound than they get credit for” and their list might just change how you see your favorite childhood movies…or remind you why you loved them in the first place.

Here are some of the most-mentioned titles, and the surprisingly profound truths hidden inside them, according to Redditors:

A Goofy Movie

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“I think it’s a simple enough father and son movie, but its main message is a really important one for life in general and particularly parent-child relationships: if you love someone and want to be closer to them you don’t make it all about trying to make them do things you want to do, you go and do stuff with them that they enjoy to do. And while it goes both ways, it’s especially true for a parent to take the lead on this with their child. You’re the adult. Your kid needs to know that the things they like are ok and a source of bonding, not separation or judgment from their parents whose approval they desperately seek. Don’t know many other movies that convey the point as well as A Goofy Movie does.”

Kung Fu Panda 2

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Your past is something that you have to confront no matter how traumatic or heartbreaking it is. Without confronting it, you will never be able to attain your true strength. That being said, the truth of your past does not dictate who you are, your choices do.”

Monsters University

@itsalwayscloudyinruralpa saddest scene in monsters university #monsters #monstersuniversity #monstersuniversityedit #mikewazowski #jamespsullivan #sulleyandmike ♬ original sound - itsalwayscloudyinruralpa

“What if that thing you’ve spent your whole life chasing really isn’t meant for you, and you can find value in another role. And accept who you are not. Mike learns that he just isn't scary, and that’s okay.”

“And the fact that neither of them graduate college and end up grinding the slow path. Sometimes life won’t be as expected and you don’t get the happy ending right away.”

Babe

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Babe. There's a reason it got a Best Picture nom. Never forget the importance of kindness, that so many ‘rules of nature’ are more arbitrary and flexible than most would admit, trust your instincts even if they seem crazy or if others might think you a fool.”

Matilda

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Hits even harder when you realize Ms. Trunchbull was a survivor of the 1972 Munich Massacre. My added on fan theory was trauma from the event (blamed in part in real life on poor security at the Olympic village) led to her strict disciplinary methods, rigorous attention to detail, and wariness of intruders in her own home.”

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Just a fantastic movie…Puss' realization of his own mortality is so well done, and the character chasing him down? ‘Death. And I don't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theoretically or any other fancy way. I'm Death, straight up! And I've come for you, Puss in Boots.’ And Puss' realization at the end of the movie is solid stuff.”

“Part of the reason this movie is so good is because it keeps the tone even throughout the scenes. The scary parts are scary, the emotional parts are emotional, the heroic parts are heroic. That dog could have very EASILY ruined every scene with a stupid quip or joke, but even that f***ing comic relief character has fully emotional moments and depth.”

The Prince of Egypt

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“It honestly goes hard thematically. It doesn’t sugarcoat the story it’s based on for the most part, and it treats questions of identity, faith, power, and responsibility with a surprising amount of seriousness for an animated film. What really sticks with me, though, is how it frames a person’s worth, not by their birth or status, but by the choices they make and the way they stand up for others. Plus, the music and visuals are just incredible. It’s one of those films that really grows with you as you get older.”

“I'm an atheist but I still enjoy this movie. The first time I watched it and got to the parting of the Red Sea, there's a moment when lightning lights up the standing wave and you can see a giant fish or whale swimming within the wall of water. I got a little choked up because it was so beautiful.”

The NeverEnding Story

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"’People who have no hopes are easy to control; and whoever has the control... has the power!’"

Jumanji

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Jonathan Hyde playing both Alan's Dad and Van Pelt is a subtle touch of how sometimes the monsters and villains are really of your own design; they only have the power you give them.”

The Secret of NIMH

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“[It] explores serious topics like genetic modification, animal testing, and a family's quest for survival. It can be terrifying for children but thought-provoking for older audiences. Its sophisticated world-building and the existential themes make it a profound and impactful film.”

Klaus

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"For themes of loss (and finding new meaning in life after loss), the harms of generational trauma and hatred, the emptiness of a selfish, privileged life, and on and on. Also Norm McDonald’s last movie role I think."

Ratatouille

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"It introduces Remy (a rat) who is yearning to create and has found food as his artistic medium to express himself. He wants to contribute his skills to the larger society (humans) but as a rat he is not considered the kind who could or should. Remy is also guilty of similar thinking in his initial opinion of Linguini, dismissing him as just the garbage boy. After the difficulties Remy and Linguini go through, they finally find they have believers in Collette, Anton Ego, and Remy's family and friends. In the new restaurant they open later it shows that there are other people who are now believers too."

The Land Before Time

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“I would say ‘Land Before Time,’ but maybe we all agree it's profound? About children growing up, maybe without their parents, in a world that's ever changing and ever challenging. A glimmer of hope comes from friendships that are formed by creatures enduring similar yet different struggles. Even when it's happy, it's sad, but in a way, that's how life is.”

So maybe tonight, instead of endlessly scrolling, revisit one of these so-called children's movies again. And really listen this time.

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