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6 alternatives to saying 'let me know if you need anything' to someone in crisis

If someone is drowning, you don't wait for them to ask for help. You just take action.

woman crying with her hand on a rainy window
Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

People going through major struggles don't always know what they need or how to ask for help.

When we see someone dealing with the loss of a loved one or some other major life crisis, it's instinctual for many of us to ask how we can help. Often, the conversation looks something like this:

Us: I am SO sorry you're going through this. What can I do to help?

Person in crisis: I honestly don't know right now.

Us: Okay…well…you let me know if you need anything—anything at all.

Person in crisis: Okay, thank you.

Us: I mean it. Don't hesitate to ask. I'm happy to help with whatever you need.

And then…crickets. The person never reaches out to take you up on the offer.

Was it that they didn't really need any help, this person going through a major life crisis? Unlikely. As sincere as our offer may have been, the problem may be that we didn't really offer them what they actually needed.

One of those needs is to not have to make decisions. Another is to not have to directly ask for help.

When a person is in a state of crisis, they can feel like they're drowning. They might be disoriented and fatigued, and doing anything other than keeping their head above water long enough to breathe can feel like too much.

If someone is drowning, you don't ask them what you can do to help or wait for them to ask. Youjust take action.

Here are some specific ways you can take action to help someone who you know needs help but isn't able or willing to ask for it:

1. Make them food

It may be tempting to ask if you can make them a meal and wait for them to say yes or no, but don't. Simply ask if they or anyone in their household has any dietary restrictions, and then start shopping and cooking.

Meals that can be popped in the refrigerator or freezer and then directly into the oven or microwave are going to be your best bets. Include cooking or reheating instructions if it's not obvious. Disposable aluminum trays are great for homemade freezer-to-oven meals and can be found at just about any grocery store. Casseroles. Stir fried rices. Soups. Comfort foods.

If you don't cook, you can buy them gift cards to local restaurants that deliver, or give them a DoorDash or UberEats gift certificate (large enough to cover the delivery, service fees and tip as well, which combined can be as much as a meal sometimes).

lasagna in the oven

Easy-prep meals people can throw in the oven are great.

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

Even better—organize a meal train

If you want to make it a community-wide effort and no one else has done so yet, set up a "meal train," where different people sign up for different days to bring meals to spread out the food help over time. There are several free websites you can use for this purpose, including Give In Kind, Meal Train, and Take Them a Meal. These sites make it super easy for anyone with the personalized link to sign up for a meal.

someone scrubbing a pot in a kitchen sink

There are always dishes to wash.

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

2. Clean their kitchen and/or bathrooms

Kitchens are always in use, and keeping up with dishes, especially in a house full of people, is a challenge even under normal circumstances. Same with keeping the refrigerator cleaned out. Same with cleaning the bathroom.

Rather than asking if they want it done, as many people won't want to say yes even if they would appreciate the help, try saying something like, "I want to come and make sure your kitchen is ready for you to make food whenever you want to and that your bathroom is a clean space for you to escape to whenever you feel like it. Is Tuesday or Wednesday at 1:00 better for you?"

The fewer complex decisions a person in crisis has to make the better, so saying, "Is this or that better?" rather than offering open-ended possibilities can be helpful.

woman folding clothes

There is always laundry to fold, too.

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

3. Do laundry

Offer to sit and chat with them, let them vent if they need to…and fold their laundry while you're at it.

Are they the kind of people who might be embarrassed by you seeing or handling their underclothes? Fine. Wash, dry and fold towels or bedsheets instead. Just keep the laundry moving for them.

And if it doesn't feel appropriate or desirable for you to do their laundry at their house, you can offer a pick-up laundry service, either yourself or an actual hired service. Tell the person to put bags or bins of laundry at the door and you (or the service) will come pick it up and bring it back clean and folded the next day. That's a great way to be of service without feeling like you're intruding.

man pulling food and toilet paper out of the car

Offer to pick stuff up when you're on a grocery run.

Photo by Marek Studzinski on Unsplash

4. Run errands for them

"Hey, I'm heading out to the store, what can I grab you while I'm there?" is always a welcome phone call or text. Let them know when you're going to be running your own errands and see if there's anything they need dropped at the post office, picked up from the pharmacy, or anything else.

You can also offer to run errands with them. "Hey, I've got some errands to run. Do you want to join me?" They may have no desire to leave the house, or they may desperately want to leave the house, so be prepared for either answer, but the offer is solid. Even just not having to drive might be a relief if they have things they need to pick up or drop off places.

woman holding hands with a small child as they walk

Caring for someone's kids is one of the most helpful things you can do.

Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash

5. Provide childcare

If the person is a parent, taking their kid(s) out for a chunk of the day can be a big help. Caring for yourself is hard when you're going through a difficult time, and the energy a person might use to actually do that often gets usurped by caring for others. Obviously, parents can't just neglect their children, so anything you can do to relieve them of that responsibility for a while is gold.

Offering to take the kids to do something fun—a day at the park, ice skating, etc. is even better. A parent knowing their kid is safe, occupied, and happy is its own form of relief.

6. Ask what they're struggling with and focus your help there

While all of these practical household things are helpful, there might be some people who find comfort or solace in doing those things themselves. If that's the case, talk with them about what their immediate needs are and what they're having a hard time dealing with. Then focus your energies there. "What can I do to help?" may not be as effective a question as "What are you having a hard time doing right now?" They may not know what kind of help they need, but they probably know how they're struggling.

One person might be lonely and just want some company. Another person might need a creative outlet or a mindless distraction or something physical like going for a walk or a hike. Someone else might have pets they need help caring for, a garden that needs tending, or the oil changed in their car. Someone might even need a person to serve as a shield or buffer between them and all the people coming to offer their condolences.

Note that many of these things are basic life maintenance stuff—those are often the things that get hard for people when they're dealing with the emotional and logistical stuff surrounding whatever they're going through, and they're often the easiest things other people can do for them. A time of crisis is not a normal time, so normal etiquette, such as asking if you can or should do something rather than just letting them know you're going to do it, doesn't always apply.

If there's a specific thing with specific tasks, such as planning a funeral, that might be a good opportunity to ask how you can help. But people deep in the throes of grief or struggle often need someone to take the reins on basic things without being asked to. Again, there's a good chance they feel like they're drowning, so don't wait for an invitation. Just grab the life preserver, put it around them and do whatever needs to be done to get them to shore.

Note: This advice is especially relevant now as Californians struggle with the Wildfire Crisis. In light of many losing their homes, possessions, and loved ones, knowing how to help and what to do might be even more difficult. Check out our Community Resource Guide for ways to offer aid and relief to those impacted.


This article originally appeared last year.

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History (Education)

Woman featured in iconic Great Depression photo didn't know she was famous until 40 years later

Florence Owens Thompson later revealed she wished her photo had never been taken.

the great depression; Florence Thompson; Mona Lisa of the Great Depression; Mona Lisa; the depression; depression era
Photo by Dorothea Lange via Library of Congress
The woman from the famous Great Depression photo didn't know about her fame for 40 years.

It's one of the most iconic and haunting photos of all time, up there with the likes of Hindenburg, The Falling Soldier, Burning Monk, Napalm Girl, and many others. It's called simply Migrant Mother, and it paints a better picture of the time in which it was taken than any book or interview possibly could.

Nearly everyone across the globe knows Florence Owens Thompson's face from newspapers, magazines, and history books. The young, destitute mother was the face of The Great Depression, her worried, suntanned face looking absolutely defeated as several of her children took comfort by resting on her thin frame. Thompson put a human face and emotion behind the very real struggle of the era, but she wasn't even aware of her role in helping to bring awareness to the effects of the Great Depression on families.

It turns out that Dorothea Lange, the photographer responsible for capturing the worry-stricken mother in the now-famous photo, told Thompson that the photos wouldn't be published.

Of course, they subsequently were published in the San Francisco News. At the time the photo was taken, Thompson was supposedly only taking respite at the migrant campsite with her seven children after the family car broke down near the campsite. The photo was taken in March 1936 in Nipomo, California when Lange was concluding a month's long photography excursion documenting migrant farm labor.

the great depression; Florence Thompson; Mona Lisa of the Great Depression; Mona Lisa; the depression; depression era Worried mother and children during the Great Depression era. Photo by Dorthea Lange via Library of Congress

"Migrant worker" was a term that meant something quite different than it does today. It was primarily used in the 30s to describe poverty-stricken Americans who moved from town to town harvesting the crops for farmers.

The pay was abysmal and not enough to sustain a family, but harvesting was what Thompson knew as she was born and raised in "Indian Territory," (now Oklahoma) on a farm. Her father was Choctaw and her mother was white. After the death of her husband, Thompson supported her children the best way she knew how: working long hours in the field.

"I'd hit that cotton field before daylight and stay out there until it got so dark I couldn't see," Thompson told NBC in 1979 a few years before her death.

the great depression; Florence Thompson; Mona Lisa of the Great Depression; Mona Lisa; the depression; depression era A mother reflects with her children during the Great Depression. Photo by Dorthea Lange via Library of Congress

When talking about meeting Thompson, Lange wrote in her article titled "The Assignment I'll Never Forget: Migrant Mother," which appeared in Popular Photography, Feb. 1960, "I saw and approached the hungry and desperate mother, as if drawn by a magnet. I do not remember how I explained my presence or my camera to her, but I do remember she asked me no questions. I made five exposures, working closer and closer from the same direction. I did not ask her name or her history. She told me her age, that she was thirty-two. She said that they had been living on frozen vegetables from the surrounding fields, and birds that the children killed."

Lange goes on to surmise that Thompson cooperated because on some level she knew the photos would help, though from Thompson's account she had no idea the photos would make it to print. Without her knowledge, Thompson became known as "The Dustbowl Mona Lisa," which didn't translate into money in the poor family's pocket.

In fact, according to a history buff who goes by @baewatch86 on TikTok, Thompson didn't find out she was famous until 40 years later after a journalist tracked her down in 1978 to ask how she felt about being a famous face of the depression.

@baewatch86

Florence Thompson, American Motherhood. #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #historytok #americanhistory #migrantmother #thegreatdepression #dorthealange #womenshistory

It turns out Thompson wished her photo had never been taken since she never received any funds for her likeness being used. Baewatch explains, "because Dorothea Lange's work was funded by the federal government this photo was considered public domain and therefore Mrs. Florence and her family are not entitled to the royalties."

While the photo didn't provide direct financial compensation for Thompson, the "virality" of it helped to feed migrant farm workers. "When these photos were published, it immediately caught people's attention. The federal government sent food and other resources to those migrant camps to help the people that were there that were starving, they needed resources and this is the catalyst. This photo was the catalyst to the government intercepting and providing aid to people," Baewatch shares.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

As for Lange, Migrant Mother was not her only influential photograph of the Great Depression. She captured many moving images of farmers who had been devastated by the Dust Bowl and were forced into a migrant lifestyle.

"Broke, baby sick, and car trouble!" is just one of her many incredible photos from the same year, 1937.

She also did tremendous work covering Japanese internment in the 1940s, and was eventually inducted into the International Photography Hall of Fame and Museum and the National Women's Hall of Fame.

the great depression; Florence Thompson; Mona Lisa of the Great Depression; Mona Lisa; the depression; depression era Families on the move suffered enormous hardships during The Great Depression.Photo by Dorthea Lange via Library of Congress

Thompson did find some semblance of financial comfort later in life when she married a man named George Thompson, who would be her third husband. In total, she had 10 children. When Thompson's health declined with age, people rallied around to help pay her medical bills citing the importance of the 1936 photo in their own lives. The "Migrant Mother" passed away in 1983, just over a week after her 80th birthday. She was buried in California.

"Florence Leona Thompson, Migrant Mother. A legend of the strength of American motherhood," her gravestone reads.

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The one sign that someone is highly intelligent, according to philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer

He understood the inner world of exceptionally intelligent people.

schopenhauer, teacher, great phiosophers, philosopy hiistory, schopenhauer portrait
via Canva/Photos and Artistosteles/Wikimedia Commons

A math professor and Arthur Schopenhauer.

Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) transformed our understanding of the human condition by arguing that people are primarily driven by desire, rather than reason. As bleak as this may seem, he believed that the suffering caused by desire could be mitigated through art, compassion, and a life of simplicity.

Given that Schopenhauer was one of the greatest minds of his era, he had a unique understanding of how geniuses think. He believed that most highly intelligent people share a single trait: they like to keep to themselves. Julian de Medeiros, a Substacker and popular TikTok personality who discusses philosophy, discussed Schopenhauer’s thoughts in a video with nearly four million views.

@julianphilosophy

Simple sign of intelligence #introvert #smart #work #intelligent #home

What is a sign that someone is highly intelligent?

“This is a simple rule about intelligence from the philosopher Schopenhauer, who basically argued that intelligent people keep to themselves. In fact, that intelligent people need time and space. They tend to be introverted or, in his precise words, ‘it is the fate of all great minds to be alone,’” de Medeiros says.

Highly intelligent people don’t mind being alone

One would assume that some super genius who wants to be alone all the time is some miserable curmudgeon. However, de Medeiros argues that this is not the case. “For Schopenhauer, being alone did not equate loneliness. In fact, he said intelligent people prefer their own company. It's like they're never bored. There's so much that they want to do. They're happy to have time to themselves,” he continued.


Schopenhauer was pretty clear that he enjoyed being alone in a passage from his 1851 book, Parerga and Paralipomena:

“The ingenious person will, above all, strive for freedom from pain and annoyance, for tranquility and leisure, and consequently seek a quiet, modest life, as undisturbed as possible, and accordingly, after some acquaintance with so-called human beings, choose seclusion and, if in possession of a great mind, even solitude. For the more somebody has in himself, the less he needs from the outside and the less others can be to him. Therefore, intellectual distinction leads to unsociability.”

The video concludes with a warning from de Medeiros: “Intelligence can breed indifference because [if] you like being by yourself so much that you don't go out to spend time with people or with friends. This can make you a misanthrope."

Was Schopenhauer correct in his assumptions about intelligence?

Even though Schopenhauer’s ideas date back to the 19th century, a 2016 study published in the British Journal of Psychology shows he wasn’t wrong. A survey of more than 15,000 adults found that, for most participants, socializing with friends was positively associated with life satisfaction. However, for those with higher IQs, the pattern flipped. Participants with higher IQ reported higher life satisfaction when they socialized less frequently.

A 2023 study titled "The Psychological World of Highly Gifted Young Adults" found that highly gifted adults often enjoyed their own company over that of others because they had difficulty finding interests they shared with the average person. Highly gifted people just didn’t feel like they “fit in” socially in most environments.

Ultimately, one of the hallmarks of being highly intelligent is being incredibly cautious. So, if you’re a smart cookie and enjoy spending evenings at home with a good book instead of hanging out at a bar, don’t feel bad; there’s nothing wrong with being your own favorite company.

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Pop Culture

In an iconic 1975 clip, a teenage Michael Jackson stuns Cher during hypnotic robot dance duet

The clip marks a turning point in Michael Jackson's iconic public persona.

jacksons, michael jackson, robot dance, Cher, 1970s TV
via Cher/YouTube

Cher and The Jackson 5 doing the robot dance.

One of the most distinctive aspects of Michael Jackson's mega-stardom was that he grew up almost entirely in the public eye. He began performing with his brothers at age five and remained a significant figure in American pop culture until he died in 2009.

He burst onto the scene as a child with an incredibly soulful voice. He became an electrifying performer as a teen before rocketing to superstardom at 20 with the release of his first solo album, 1979's Off the Wall. One of the pivotal moments when the public witnessed this transformation came in 1975, when 16-year-old Michael performed with his brothers, The Jackson 5, on The Cher Show.

The Jackson 5 and Cher performed a medley of the band's biggest hits, including "I Want You Back," "I'll Be There," and "Never Can Say Goodbye." But the most memorable moment came when Michael and his brothers broke into the robot dance during "Dancing Machine," and Cher did her best to keep up.

The Jackson 5 and Cher do the robot dance

It's fun watching Cher try to fall in line with the Jacksons, while Michael absolutely kills it, gyrating like an animatronic on hyperdrive during his solo.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The Jackson 5 may have helped bring the robot dance into the public consciousness by incorporating it into performances of their 1973 hit "Dancing Machine." But it traces back to mechanical "mannequin" dances from the early days of film. In the 1960s, Robin Shields, a popular mime, performed as a robot on late-night talk shows. By the 1970s, dancers had set those moves to music on shows such as Soul Train.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

In a 2003 interview, Cher said she had to learn the moves on the fly from the Jacksons.

"Think of how hard it was for me to learn to do that, and the guys just knew how to do it. I've been working all day, and they just came on and said, 'Okay, sure, this is how you do it,'" Cher recalled. "I had a lot of fun on that show. It was a lot of work, but I had a lot of fun. You know, and I got to work with some great people."

What's also notable about the performance is that Michael's voice had changed, and he sang in a deeper register than he had as a child a few years earlier.

Things changed for Cher and the Jacksons in 1976

By the following year, things had changed for both The Jackson 5 and Cher. Cher reunited with her ex-husband, Sonny Bono, for The Sonny and Cher Show, which ran until 1977. In 1976, The Jackson 5 left Motown Records for Epic Records and changed their name to The Jacksons. Jermaine Jackson temporarily left the group to pursue a solo career, and he was replaced by his brother, Randy.

Here's The Jackson 5's complete performance on The Cher Show from March 16, 1975:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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Television

Guy puts over 20,000 MTV videos on new website as a tribute to the 'golden era' of music videos

"It triggered something deeply nostalgic in me."

mtv, music videos, mtv tribute, classic music videos, mtv videos, music video website
Photo credit: YouTube screenshot via The Original MTV VJs

This MTV tribute site features over 20,000 music videos.

If you’ve been online in recent weeks, you’ve probably seen dramatic headlines or social-media posts suggesting the demise of MTV. Not true! However, the company did recently shut down some of its channels devoted to its iconic early format of 24-hour music videos. As Rolling Stone reports, five MTV stations in the U.K. went dark, and others in Australia, Poland, Brazil, and France were expected to follow. Digesting that news, one viewer channeled their wistful nostalgia into an interactive "passion project": a tribute-styled website called MTV REWIND that salutes the network's "golden era."

The site, which is unaffiliated with MTV or parent company Paramount Skydance, features over 20,000 music videos pulled from YouTube and spread across six decades (the 1970s through the 2020s). It also includes a "shuffle" feature, retro commercials interspersed throughout the clips, and specific channels devoted to two classic MTV programs: the heavy-music staple Headbangers Ball and the hip-hop-focused Yo! MTV Raps.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"It triggered something deeply nostalgic in me"

"Zero algorithm, just random discovery like MTV used to be," the site’s developer wrote in a trending Reddit thread. In the comments, he explained the initial spark: "I built this because I was feeling a sense of loss when MTV rug-pulled 24-7 video content. It triggered something deeply nostalgic in me. I spend a lot of time coding already and I like a challenge, so [I] thought to myself "[Why] can't I recreate the experience (maybe even make it better)[?] I've been listening to it non-stop since I started coding it on in the background and stopping to watch the videos learn about the music." In an informal AMA, the Redditor shared that building the site took 48 hours top to bottom.

Upworthy reached out to the developer, who went deeper on their love of MTV. "I am in my early 40s and grew up in the late 80s/early 90s when MTV was still pure music television," he said. "I remember coming home from school and MTV was just ON—it was the cultural hub. Watching the transition from music videos to reality TV felt like losing something important. That's what drove me to build this—preserving what MTV used to be." He also praised the "unique art form" of the music video format: "They're 3-5 minute films that combine visual storytelling, cinematography, choreography, and music into something greater than the sum of its parts. Directors like Spike Jonze, Michel Gondry, Hype Williams, they used the format to create legitimate art. MTV was the gallery that made it accessible to everyone."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Clicked, and immediately it plays Wham for me"

Lots of other users weighed in online with their feedback, even suggesting other vintage commercials. Naturally, they also had a lot of other opinions, with many sharing how deeply this whole thing scratched their nostalgia itch. Here’s a sample of the most enthusiastic comments:

"So many songs/bands from the ‘80s that I had completely forgotten about but instantly remember as soon as the video starts playin."

"This is really awesome. Doing something cool and fun just for the purpose of being cool and fun"

"Clicked, and immediately it plays Wham for me. New favorite website. Thank you."

"Super soaker 50 commercial brought be back."

"This is the perfect blend of random music discovery and pure nostalgia that I didn't know I needed."

"Reddit post of the year."

"I'm hooked! Saved to favorites and will be used whenever I host people."

"Dude, I'm stoked that there's a Headbanger's Ball option. That was instrumental, no pun intended, in the development of my music tastes and discoveries in the early-mid aughts."

Even though MTV is still alive and kicking, lots of people still used the recent news as a jumping-off point into a debate about what the network's final video should be. While a lot of people voted for The Buggles’ "Video Killed the Radio Star," the first clip ever aired on MTV back in 1981, some lobbied for a Weird Al-styled parody called "TikTok Killed the Video Star."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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Art

The real reason famous men in old portraits always raised their right hands, but never their left

What were they pointing at?!

portraits, paintings, painters, poses, posing, photography, sculpture, ancient rome, napoleon, george washington
By Till Niermann/Wikimedia Commons & Jacques-Louis David/Wikimedia Commons

This simple pose became an instant shorthand for leaders to signify their power and authority.

Posing in portraiture is an art in itself. In classical paintings of powerful figures such as royalty and generals, artists carefully considered not only likeness and features but also what the portrait would ultimately convey. Just as modern politicians on TV want their hair, teeth, makeup, and clothes just right, authority figures in the past were equally particular about how they appeared in portraits.

A strange pose commonly seen in sculptures and portraits dating back to Ancient Rome shows the subject with one arm raised, always the right, and gesturing or pointing with a slightly open hand. The pose is known as adlocutio.

One of the earliest and most famous examples appears in the sculpture Augustus of Prima Porta, completed in the 1st century AD by an unknown artist. It shows Augustus, the first Roman emperor, armor-clad and barefoot, with a baby Cupid riding a dolphin at his side. (Yes, really.)

Augustus strikes the signature adlocutio pose, giving the sculpture a sense of life and movement and reinforcing his power and authority. But what is he pointing at?

portraits, paintings, painters, poses, posing, photography, sculpture, ancient rome, napoleon, george washington The Emperor Augustus.By Till Niermann/Wikimedia Commons

The word adlocutio was used in Ancient Rome to describe a general or emperor addressing his soldiers. You can almost see it in the sculpture of Augustus; he is not pointing so much as gesturing animatedly while delivering a speech.

"In ancient Rome, gestures often spoke about one's position or rank in society," writes historian JP Kenwood. "One of the most common gestures in the visual language of Rome was the adlocutio, a posture and gesture that indicated the person—male citizens only, of course—was a person with authority giving a speech."

portraits, paintings, painters, poses, posing, photography, sculpture, ancient rome, napoleon, george washington Many politicians make use of specific hand gestures when making speeches.brooke from atlanta/Wikimedia Commons

It's easy to see, then, why the pose became a kind of shorthand in portraiture for power and leadership.

A famous 1801 painting of Napoleon crossing the Alps is another prominent example of the pose in action.

portraits, paintings, painters, poses, posing, photography, sculpture, ancient rome, napoleon, george washington Napoleon crossing the Alps.Jacques-Louis David/Wikimedia Commons

A few years earlier, George Washington was immortalized in the Lansdowne portrait. The president sat only once for the life-sized, iconic portrait painted by Gilbert Stuart.

portraits, paintings, painters, poses, posing, photography, sculpture, ancient rome, napoleon, george washington George Washington in the "Landsdowne portrait."By Gilbert Stuart/Wikimedia Commons

The pose, while old, is still as relevant as ever. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? A massive statue of Mao Zedong from 1970 features a strikingly similar gesture.

portraits, paintings, painters, poses, posing, photography, sculpture, ancient rome, napoleon, george washington A famous statue of Mao Zedong in China.By Noel Hanna/Wikimedia Commons

The adlocutio pose conveys authority and leadership by echoing an emperor's or general's address. That's simple enough. But there is more to the pose than meets the eye.

Crucially, subjects striking this pose always raise their right hand, never the left. The reason lies in subtle religious symbolism popular in Rome at the time the pose was established.

"In antiquity, the right hand symbolized divinity; when it was raised, you were thought to be closer to the gods," according to Meural. "And the left was the exact opposite, signifying the damned, the wrong, the befouled."

In times of limited sanitation, the right hand was often used for eating, while the left was reserved for bathroom tasks. As a result, it became known as the "unclean" hand, regardless of an individual's dominant side. Lauren Julius Harris writes that children who favored their left hand for reaching, eating, grabbing, or playing were often corrected, a practice that persisted as recently as the 19th century.

Raising the right hand was not only a symbol of power and status, but also of closeness to God. In fact, in portraits of men and women, the adlocutio pose was used deliberately to signal specific aspects of a subject's status.

portraits, paintings, painters, poses, posing, photography, sculpture, ancient rome, napoleon, george washington The iconic "Arnolfini portrait." By Jan van Eyck - Gennadii Saus i Segura/Wikimedia Commons

Today, with digital photography, we can take nearly unlimited photos of a subject in a wide range of poses, backgrounds, and lighting setups. Photographers can then select the portraits with the most potential and edit them to maximize the intended effect.

Ancient painters did not have that luxury. With only a brief sitting from the subject, they often had a single chance to get a portrait right, making time-tested poses like adlocutio a critical tool.

And while public portraits are far rarer today, adlocutio still works. Weirong Li, a leadership and communication expert who works with leaders and executives, tells Upworthy that "open elevated gestures boost confidence hormones... Ancient leaders discovered this instinctively—the raised palm signals 'I'm confident but not threatening.' I see this work in boardrooms constantly."

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