Thanksgiving is a time for family, friends, and gathering together in gratitude. And that doesn't have to change if you're an American living overseas.
As the unofficial kickoff of the "holiday season," Thanksgiving is a celebration of all things American: food, family, football, and colonialism. And the pull of cozy traditions and comfort food can be mighty this time of year — even for those who've left the United States behind to live abroad.
I wanted to find out how U.S. expats celebrate the most American holiday of them all, so I connected with a few women who live overseas with their families. They told me about some of the more, well, surprising challenges they've faced — including a potato embargo! — along with new customs they couldn't wait to try.
Whether you're living abroad or you're missing someone who is, here are five ways Americans are throwing an expat Thanksgiving in 2017.
Photo by John Moore/Getty Images.
1. It's hard not to get a little sentimental about Thanksgiving foods and flavors — but experimenting with ingredients from a new place is half the fun.
Ashley Lunde moved from Madison, Wisconsin, to her husband's home country of Oslo, Norway, two and a half years ago. At first, she insisted on bringing the spices and foods she was familiar with to Oslo. But now, she blends the traditions and flavor profiles she's learned from her Norwegian family into the typical American Thanksgiving dishes.
"The turkey is baked with celery, carrots, and onions (was our tradition at home), but [I] have added grapes, apples, and pears as well to the mix. Food in Norway tends to be sweeter, (mixing meat and berries for example, is very common)," she writes in an interview over Facebook Messenger. "We also use lingonberry instead of cranberry, and rømme (a Norwegian version of sour cream) on 'grove rundstykker,' which is whole grain Norwegian bread made into dinner rolls."
Lingonberry sauce. Photo by Helena Jacoba/Flickr
Rachel Watson lives with her husband and daughter on a Marine Corps Base in Iwakuni, Japan. While the base has many comforts of home, there's an embargo on certain types of American produce including potatoes and apples.
"So, we will be using Satsuma sweet potatoes, which have purple-ish skin and whiter flesh than an American sweet potato," Watson writes via email. "There are no Granny Smith apples here either, so for apple pies and other apple dishes, I'll be experimenting with some Japanese apple varieties."
Rachel Watson with husband Zach and daughter Maeve. Photo via Rachel Watson, used with permission.
2. This holiday is all about family — and no matter how you feel about social media in your day-to-day life, it makes it easy to stay in touch with loved ones.
Shelley Strelluf and her husband, Chris, decided to look for opportunities overseas following the presidential election. Her husband accepted a position in Coventry, England, and the couple and their two young children arrived earlier this year from Kansas City, Missouri. Staying connected with friends and family literally an ocean away is challenging but doable.
"We video call via Messenger with my mom about three times a week (same difference as Skype, the app was just slightly easier for her to use)," Strelluf writes via e-mail. "Sometimes we talk, sometimes she just likes to watch the kids play for a little while... So it's not the same as having her around, but it could be a lot worse. I'm grateful for the technology."
Shelley's husband Chris, with their two children, William and Emily. Photo via Shelley Strelluf, used with permission.
3. It's hard to make friends when you're in a strange country — so play an active role in building your new community.
Making friends as an adult doesn't come as naturally as it used to. But making friends as an adult in a new country, where there can be different social norms along with a language barrier, is flat out tough.
For Watson, she's made a concerted effort to seek out new friends — especially important, as her husband is currently deployed with the Navy. He won't be back in Iwakuni for Thanksgiving, so she's celebrating with her infant daughter, Maeve, and a new community on-base.
Lunde is part of a group in Oslo called the American Women's Club, that hosts a traditional Thanksgiving meal. The women were invited to discuss their experiences living abroad as well as some of the traditional foods from their part of the states. The U.S. Ambassador to Norway even addressed the group.
"It was really nice to spend the evening with other Americans, sharing a home cooked meal."
Photo by Phil Denton/Flickr.
4. But continuing to celebrate holidays like Thanksgiving is about more than being homesick or missing turkey. It's about honoring cultural identity and tradition.
Lunde and her husband welcomed a son, Espen, last year. Raising him to know and appreciate the many facets of his heritage is of the utmost importance.
"We really want to bring him up incorporating traditions from both our home countries, regardless of where we may be living at the time," she writes. "I think weaving a few Norwegian details into Thanksgiving is a creative way to do that. Hopefully celebrating in this way is something he'll grow to appreciate and enjoy."
Ashley Lunde, holding Espen beside her husband Paal and her in-laws. Her mother-in-law is wearing her traditional Norwegian "bunad." Photo via Ashley Lunde, used with permission.
5. No matter where you are in the world, or how much you've decided to embrace your new home, nothing beats pumpkin pie. But be prepared to accept substitutes.
In the states, pumpkin pies and canned pumpkin are sold everywhere from gas stations to department stores this time of year, but good luck finding one in other parts of the world.
Says Strelluf, "Something that is NOT a thing is pumpkin pie, so I guess if I want that, I'll have to figure out how to make it." Here's one blogger's idea for making that happen (with sweet potatoes — as long as they aren't embargoed, too).
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."