upworthy
Badge
Ancestry
Ancestry
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
More

3 years after the marriage equality ruling, a look back at 8 anti-equality predictions.

In the run up to the Supreme Court's landmark marriage equality ruling in 2015, some opponents of marriage equality voiced big concerns.

These concerns, they'd be the first to tell you, weren't rooted in hatred or bigotry. Of course not. Opponents were simply worried about what marriage equality could lead to in the future. If this were allowed, what would come next? Now that it's been 1,096 days (but who's counting, really?) since the court ruled, we're checking in on some of the doubters to see how many of their predictions came true.

Here are eight anti-equality arguments, fact-checked.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

1. "Marriage equality will lead to legal bestiality."

This was a really common argument made by anti-equality pundits, politicians, and religious leaders leading up to and after the Supreme Court's decision.

"Watch what happens," warned Pat Robertson during a July 2015 episode of "The 700 Club." "Love affairs between men and animals are going to be absolutely permitted."

Appearing on "The Glenn Beck Show," Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) mused over a similar question. "If we have no laws on this, people take it to one extension further — does it have to be humans? You know?" Oh, we know, senator.

Verdict: FALSE.

2. "Marriage equality will lead to legal polygamy."

Another common argument against the court's ruling was the fear that it would result in people having five or six spouses and eroding the institution beyond recognition.

In 2006, Charles Krauthammer argued that because gay people believe the definition of marriage being one man and one woman is discriminatory, that it'd only be fair to consider "the number restriction ... similarly arbitrary, discriminatory and indefensible."

Just months after the Supreme Court's ruling, Ben Carson, a major opponent of marriage equality, said that now that the court has ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, polygamy was "the natural next question."

Spoiler: It's not.

Verdict: FALSE.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

3. "Marriage equality will lead to child marriages."

The talking point has its roots in anti-gay fear-mongering centered on the idea that gay men will try to "recruit" children or that they have a predisposition towards pedophilia. Obviously, none of that is true; it's just a way to scare people into seeing LGBTQ people as sexual deviants.

CNN unearthed a video of Sam Clovis, President Trump's former nominee for the role of chief scientist (despite no actual history working in science) at the USDA, offering what he believes are "logical" things to worry about if and when same-sex marriage were to become legal: "If we protect LGBT behavior, what other behaviors are we going to protect? Are we going to protect pedophilia? We're not thinking the consequences of these decisions through."

Brian Brown of the National Organization for Marriage posed similar concerns, just as unfounded. "Will pedophiles become 'minor-attracted persons' in our culture?" he asked in a 2011 blog post. "Will courts which endorse orientation as a protected class decide down the road that therefore laws which discriminate against 'minor-attracted persons' must be narrowly tailored to a compelling government interest?"

Conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh claimed in 2013 that the push for marriage equality was part of the LGBTQ community's secret plot to make pedophilia OK. "They want us to all think that pedophilia is just another sexual orientation," he said, baselessly. "You know who's gonna fall right in line is college kids, just like they have on gay marriage, just like they do on all other revolutionary social issues."

While no, there hasn't been some LGBTQ community push for the legalization of pedophilia, it is worth nothing that in dozens of U.S. states it is legal for someone under the age of 18 to marry an adult — and has been for a long time. Opponents of measures to raise the minimum marriage age are not members of the LGBTQ community, but often, social conservatives.

Verdict: FALSE.

4. "Marriage equality will lead to the outright criminalization of Christianity."

"Christian convictions are under attack as never before," former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee said in 2015. "Not just in our lifetime, but ever before in the history of this great republic. We are moving rapidly toward the criminalization of Christianity."

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Florida) lamented the fact that people might judge others who think gay people shouldn't be allowed to get married.

"We've reached the point in our society where if you do not support same-sex marriage you are labeled a homophobe and a hater," he said in a 2015 interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network. "So what's the next step after that? After they are done going after individuals, the next step is to argue that the teachings of mainstream Christianity, the catechism of the Catholic Church is hate speech, and there's a real and present danger."

Both men will be relieved to find out that no one has been jailed for believing in the Christian God or for praying the rosary.

Verdict: FALSE.

Anti-equality protestors have not been thrown in jail for their religious beliefs, for reading the Bible, or for calling gay people "an abomination." All of that remains perfectly legal. Photo by Ty Wright/Getty Images.

5. "Marriage equality will lead to more abortion."

This was a bizarre notion put out into the world by Gene Schaerr at the Heritage Foundation's Daily Signal blog. Presumably meant to target people who don't see the harm in marriage equality but oppose abortion, Schaerr cobbled together a few stats and made some ... shall we say ... creative connections.

Schaerr argued in 2015 that some would see marriage equality as devaluing heterosexual marriages and some straight couples would opt against getting married at all. "A reduction in the opposite-sex marriage rate means an increase in the percentage of women who are unmarried and who, according to all available data, have much higher abortion rates than married women," he wrote. "And based on past experience, institutionalizing same-sex marriage poses an enormous risk of reduced opposite-sex marriage rates."

His conclusion: an additional 900,000 abortions over a 30-year span. As a number of news outlets pointed out at the time, this number seems to have been pulled from thin air.

The truth is that abortion rates have been decreasing over the past several decades, largely as the result of comprehensive sex education programs and increased access to contraception. If anything will spike the number of abortions, it's likely to be proposals to embrace so-called abstinence-only education and attempts to repeal the health care law.

Verdict: FALSE.

6. "Marriage equality will lead to mass killings."

This is another head-scratcher from Ben Carson. During a 2016 speech, Carson warned that marriage equality would lead to "mass killings," adding that defining marriage as being between one man and one woman is all that "stands between peace and utter chaos."

For Carson, this seems to come down to a belief that without the Bible, there'd be no incentive not to murder every person you come in contact with. What starts with marriage turns into genocide, apparently.

"Why must they change [marriage]? I believe the reason is, if you can change the word of God in one area, then you can change it in every area," he said. "It's the camel's nose under the tent, and it will just be an avalanche of one thing after the other. We won't have anything that we can use as our reference point because we will have thrown out God's word. It'll be every man for himself, every man deciding for himself what is right and what is wrong, and that can't possibly lead to a good place."

Verdict: FALSE.

7. "Marriage equality will lead to the downfall of democracy."

This example comes from former Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia's dissent in Obergefell v. Hodges itself. In it, he lamented the fact that rather than putting the question of whether non-heterosexual people should be allowed to marry up to a public vote, the Supreme Court was stepping into a situation in which it had no business. "I write separately to call attention to this Court’s threat to American democracy," he wrote.

He later added that "this practice of constitutional revision by an unelected committee of nine, always accompanied (as it is today) by extravagant praise of liberty, robs the People of the most important liberty they asserted in the Declaration of Independence and won in the Revolution of 1776: the freedom to govern themselves."

There's a bit of irony in Scalia having argued that it's the marriage ruling that would undercut democracy when just two years earlier he joined a 5-4 majority in striking down a crucial section of the Voting Rights Act. As a result, countless voters have become disenfranchised, effectively blocked out of the democratic process altogether.

Verdict: FALSE.

On the night of June 26, 2015, the White House was lit up in rainbow-colored lights to mark the historic occasion. Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.

8. "Marriage equality will lead to the downfall of society."

By the mid-2000s, it had started to become clear that the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) might not be as constitutionally sound as opponents of marriage equality would've liked. It was around then that they began trying to pass a bill called the "Marriage Protection Act," which would have amended the judiciary code to essentially say that federal courts weren't allowed to rule on DOMA at all.

In 2006, then-Rep. Mike Pence (R-Indiana) laid out his argument in favor of the bill, warning of the dire consequences that could come with marriage equality.

"I believe that if someone chooses another lifestyle than I have chosen, that that is their right in a free society," he said, paying lip service to LGBTQ people's right to exist. "But tolerance does not require that we permit our courts to redefine an institution upon which our society depends. Marriage matters, according to the researchers. Harvard sociologist Pitirim Sorokin found that throughout history, societal collapse was always brought about following an advent of the deterioration of marriage and family."

The sociologist Pence mentioned, Pitirim Sorokin, published the opinion being referenced in his 1937 book, "Social and Cultural Dynamics." It was controversial, to say the least. Citing Sorokin — and later saying "marriage should be protected because it wasn't our idea," pointing to the institution's supposed creation by a higher power — was a clever way for Pence to argue that his views that some people should have more rights than others was based in concern for society as opposed to bigotry.

Pence will certainly be happy to learn that society still exists, and if there is some larger threat to it, the origin likely has its roots in the current occupant of the Oval Office, not a happily married lesbian couple.

Verdict: FALSE.

Conclusion: Turns out that all the stuff equality advocates said was fear-mongering was, well, fear-mongering.

I could be wrong, but it doesn't appear that any of the people who offered up these concerns about the marriage equality ruling have walked back these statements. I mean, if you're going to put an entire group on the hook for the downfall of civilization or the coming wave of fashionable bestiality, it'd be nice if you could pop in to say "my bad" when it doesn't happen.

For those of you wondering what's next, stop by our marriage equality #UpChat on Twitter on Tuesday, June 26, 2018 at 1p.m. ET.

More
Badge
Levi Strauss Foundation
The Levi Strauss Foundation advances the human rights and well-being of underserved people in places where the company has a business presence
Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Modern FamiliesMotherhoodFamilySponsored
Education

How to keep your mouth shut in conversations when you know you should really stay quiet

Most people never regret just staying silent.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence
via Canva/Photos

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.

argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

From Your Site Articles
communications tips
EducationLearning
Business

Salesman shares 2 magic phrases that make salespeople leave you alone when shopping

Don't even bother trying "I'm just looking."

cars, car salesman, new car, sales, shopping, anxiety, psychology, social anxiety
via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels
A car salesman leaks secret phrases to stop pushy salesmen in their tracks

Being approached by a salesperson when making a big purchase, such as a car or an appliance, is an experience most people find to be at least a little uncomfortable. Heck, even much smaller stakes shopping like walking through the mall or browsing jewelry can be wracked with anxiety over potentially running into a pushy salesman. Salespeople can provide help and expertise, of course, but they can also be pushy and add unnecessary pressure especially for people who aren't quite ready to buy.

Car salesmen, in particular, have the worst reputation. Surveys show a large chunk of consumers have felt pressured by salesmen to buy add-ons they don't need, felt like they were being tricked, or otherwise felt the salesperson was being dishonest.

Even if you say, “I’m just looking.” The words will not deter them, as they're trained to push past those objections by pestering with you questions and "encouraging" you to move the sale forward.

A car salesman on TikTok recently went viral with a video explaining why “I’m just looking” doesn’t work on a car lot and, crucially, providing more effective phrases you can use instead.

Russell of RussFlipsWhips normally gives advice to car dealers and salespeople on how to generate leads and close more sales, but he occasionally helps out the average consumer with behind-the-scenes information that helps them make better decisions.

cars, car salesman, new car, sales, shopping, anxiety, psychology, social anxiety Car salesmen have the worst reputation of all. Photo by Sara Kurfeß on Unsplash

"There's two main reasons, and here's what you should say instead of 'I'm just looking,'" he said in a video with nearly 2 million views. “One is, we hear it every single day. So when somebody tells me, ‘I’m just looking,’ I’m so used to hearing that, I almost like brush it off and ignore it because I’m like, ‘That’s what the customer’s supposed to say.’ “

'Secondly," he goes on, "every car salesman has had a customer say, ‘I’m just looking,’ and we ended up selling them a car."

It's a harsh and slightly grimy truth of the business, but there's no arguing with the realities.

Instead, Russell suggests you say: "Hey, I’d really like to look alone. Can I please have your business card?"

The second phrase, which is even more clear that you want the salesman to go away, is: “I’m really not in the market for a car.”

These responses are firm and direct, leaving little to no room for interpretation or push back. As much as salespeople want to make a deal, they really don't want to waste their own time. So being firm and clear in the fact that you're not ready is a great way to make them go away.

Watch Russ explain the process and why it works here:

@russflipswhips

Replying to @SoyPablo This is what I would say #carsales #carsalesman #cardealership #carbuyingtips

The post received funny responses from folks who had a few effective ideas of their own:

“The ‘I have 2 repos and no money down' line works wonders,’” one TikToker joked.

“I just tell them my credit score and they run,” another added.

"If 'I’m just looking' doesn’t work, I usually wait until they go home, follow them home, stare into their bedroom window at night, and repeat the line when he comes out to ask what I’m doing," someone commented.

Others chimed in with their own stories, or support of Russ' advice:

"My first week in the business, one of the older guys told me to say 'I’ll look with ya' the first time I used that line, sold a car to the customer’s daughter and upgraded his lease"

"I just say ‘Ill come get you when Im ready’ and if they dont immediately go away, and I do find a car that I want, they will not be the one catching the sale."

"I once told a salesman I was just looking and ended up leaving with a new car"

cars, car salesman, new car, sales, shopping, anxiety, psychology, social anxiety Some very strong-willed people have been talked into buying a new car they weren't ready for. Photo by Swansway Motor Group on Unsplash

Plenty of viewers chimed in that the really good salespeople know when to respect someone's wishes and back off. If a salesman is too pushy, it can be a huge turnoff for customers — even if they really are almost ready to buy. Russell's audience is made up primarily of dealers and salesmen, so they know all too well that pushing too hard can backfire.

In the end, Russell’s suggestions show that sometimes, the best way to get our point across is to be direct and honest. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to shop alone and if the salesperson can respect that request, they deserve the sale if you decide to buy something.

Russ has developed a following of over 750,000 followers giving advice to people in the auto industry and helping customers be prepared for one of the biggest purchases of their lifetime.

@russflipswhips

Asking the right questions when buying a car can save you a lot #carsales #carsalesman #carbuyingtips #cardealership

With so much info at our fingertips, we've come a long way from the days of car salesmen holding all the power and tricking customers with elaborate games and negotiating tricks. But... that doesn't change the fact that, sometimes, we just want to look around without being pressured.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
shopping
BusinessEducation
Internet

Girl stops 80s game show host in his tracks after uncomfortable interactions with other kids

No is a complete sentence.

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy
YouTube Screenshot

Girl stops 80s game show host in his tracks as he tries to kiss her

The 80s seems like a completely different lifetime when it comes to what was considered acceptable behavior. Things people deemed acceptable or were just part of everyday expectations for television back in the 60s through well into the 90s would get stars blacklisted today. But there was one game show in the 80s that had moments so cringy that even for the times may have raised some eyebrows though everyone seemed to go along with it, except one brave little girl.

The Canadian show, Just Like Mom ran from 1980-1985 even with the uncomfortable moments between the game show host and young girls. The girls who were aged 7-12 would appear on the show with their mother answering questions about each other and competing in bake-offs to see which pair knew each other best. Just Like Mom was created by Catherine Swing, the wife of the show's host Fergie Olver who would often stand uncomfortably close to the girls and elicit kisses.

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Mom hugging crying daughterPhoto credit: Canva

Recently a compilation video of the game show host behaving in a manner people might consider questionable is going viral. In the video the Olver stands near the girls, often putting his hand on their backs, placing his face close to theirs to ask questions. The very first clip shows 11-year-old Lee Ann, Olver hovers over her asking what color her eyes are.

"What color are your eyes?" Olver asks before the child tells him they're blue, to which he responds, "they're not blue, now don't tell me that. Look at me a little closer." Just as the girl leans in slightly, appearing hesitant to do so, Olver quickly kisses the child on the side of her mouth and declares, "they're green."

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Dad kissing child on cheekPhoto credit: Canva

The audience sounds as if they didn't know how to react to the bizarre moment. Some people loudly gasp, others uncomfortably chuckle, while a few seem to let out a high pitched surprised squeal. The girl also laughs uneasily while the host remains extremely close. Video clip after video clip shows similar interactions where the host tries to either kiss the girls or have them kiss him but one little girl refused. While it appeared that she was nervous to do so in front of a live audience, on television and refusing a directive from an adult, she stood her ground.

This was a moment where parents can see in real time the benefit of teaching body autonomy and the power of teaching children that no is a complete sentence. Olver originally didn't accept the young girl's "no," attempting to coerce her into kissing him when she was clearly uncomfortable and uninterested in the request.

The host perches himself up close to the young girl and says, "you look like a girl who likes to give out hugs and kisses," to which the girl laughs with discomfort before saying, "not really." That didn't stop him, Olver continued, "not really? can I have a hug and a kiss?" This time the girl gives a very direct answer through nerves by shaking her head no while saying "uh-uh." She's clearly uncomfortable as she bites her fingernail trying to assert authority over her body against someone much older.

At this point the child has been clear. She immediately told the host she didn't give out hugs and kisses and when that didn't work she mustered the courage to say no more directly. Olver was still not accepting of the child's boundaries and continued to apply pressure by questioning her decision, "I can't have one?" Again the child shakes her head and says no but he persists, saying "even if I say...whisper in your ear that Alison you're going to win the show? I still can't have a hug and a kiss?" Alison sticks to her answer so Olver changes tactics, telling the child, "Well I guess you can't win the show then if I don't get a hug and a kiss."

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Mom comforting daughterPhoto credit: Canva

Alison stayed firm in her no but the host's behavior resulted in the child's mother calling him a dirty old man. In the end the host appears to have moved on and told the girl she did a good job answering one of the questions, but to top the praise Olver attempts to sneak a kiss. The little girl didn't let that deter her as she quickly dodged his advance.

It seems apparent that Alison's parents instilled the idea of bodily autonomy in her giving her full permission to say no to adults and anyone else who dares to get in her space without consent. While the experience was probably not one that she would've ever wanted to have, that moment likely gave permission to other young girls watching to tell the host and other like him no. And no is a complete sentence, especially when it comes to someone's body. There's no further explanation needed. No further clarification. The answer is simply no. Well done Alison. Well done.

This article originally appeared in May.

From Your Site Articles
just like mom
InternetPop Culture
Community

24 brilliant side hustles that can help rake in extra cash each month

Easy ways to make more money.

side hustles, side hustle, side gigs, side hustle ideas, side gig ideas, high paying side gigs, best side gigs
Photo credit: Canva

Side hustle ideas to help you earn more money.

Side hustles are becoming more and more common (and necessary) in the United States. According to a recent study by Bankrate, nearly one in four Americans have a side hustle to earn extra income each month.

Finding a lucrative side job on top of a 9-to-5 can be challenging. However, there are definitely ways to drum up side hustles that make sense with your lifestyle, that draw on your own interests, skills, and values, and truly add to your life, whether they be through acts of service, reselling items online, or creating new items (be they artistic or practical).

Someone on Reddit recently asked, “What’s something you do on the side that makes real extra money?” And people shared their brilliant side hustle ideas that have brought in additional money. In some cases, they made an extra $20,000.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

While some may not be bringing in that much cash, many people explained that their side hustles still add hundreds of dollars to their bank accounts. From private baseball coaching and flipping furniture, these are some successful side gig ideas to consider.

24 side hustle ideas

Sales

"I sell rare house plants on the side. "

"If I want some money for a spa or date night, I’ll just chop and propagate some plants for an easy $300-$500…Rare alocasias, monsteras, and anthuriums. There are a ton of people who collect, trade, etc. It’s my hobby, which has made it so easy to turn into a side hustle. Best part is it’s all cash."

"I used to flip furniture on Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace.

"I did have to invest in a small trailer and a good cleaner. But I would get free or cheap furniture. Clean it and spruce it up. Sell it for a couple hundred bucks. Mostly couches."

Creative arts

"I make cosplay props for people."

"I use my personal social media, and I have a commissions page on Ko-Fi. People will see what I usually make and ask me if I am able to make a certain prop. I will then make an agreement with the customer before starting the work."

"I used to sell my artwork online, it was a good $15,000 to $20,000 a year."

"I work freelance in the arts."

"I’ve done a decent job advertising my own business and have developed a side hustle doing social media marketing for other small businesses. Writing posts, finding imagery, and scheduling the posts in advance. The amount of actual work varies from month to month, but the retainer fee does not, and it’s made my life much easier and more predictable."

"During the winter, I sell 3D-printed ornaments and make between $100 and $300 a week for the first two to three weeks of December."

"I specifically target the last-minute crowd and get most of my work through word of mouth. Production cost per ornament is $1.04. It takes me under an hour to make/edit the model, and then it takes 5-8 hours to print, but that can be done while I'm sleeping. I charge between $15 and $25 for an ornament. Last year, I also started selling name ornaments for $5 a pop, but they take under two hours to edit and print, so they're easy to make in large batches. These customers also tend to message me throughout the year, so I make around $600 during the Christmas season and $20-$100 other months. So kinda $20 here and there with a big yearly payout."

"Real estate Photography."

"It's usually $150 per house, $300 if it's a large property, and I need to use a drone. It takes about an hour to shoot and less than an hour to edit. I usually do two to three houses throughout the week. I'll stop on my way home from work, then on Saturday, I can group appointments by location. My busiest Saturday was seven houses. It's really easy. You just need a camera capable of HDR and a lens with a wide angle. I use a Nikon 16-24mm and a tripod."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Manual labor

"I put up and take down Christmas lights on weekends and evenings from October to January."

"$24k a season is very doable, but you gotta be able to haul and carry ladders, confidently and safely climb up and down ladders, and be OK with working in the wind and rain in the coldest part of the year. It isn’t glamorous, but it can be a nice chunk of extra money."

"If you're even a little handy, you can make good money as a handyman in elderly neighborhoods."

"My dad started out just helping neighbors with hanging curtains, painting bathrooms, etc... after about a year he was busy enough to quit his full time job and just work for himself. You don't need a lot of tools or an expensive truck, but if you can operate a drill, swing a brush, and are good with old people - there's good paying work out there for you.”

"I work as an ad model."

"All kinds of ads. Internet, TV, print. Work is sporadic and irregular, which means you'd better have solid income from a main source. But a little $500-$800 check from time to time sure comes in handy. Generally, one can set up an account for a small annual fee on places like castingnetworks.com or actorsaccess.com. Specifically, it would be better if you would connect with a local talent/modeling agency. They will also ask you to sign up for a talent website, and you’re going to need professional photos. Spend money on THAT, for sure. Good photos are critical!"

"Landscaping."

"Cash under the table, you dictate how many jobs you want to take on, and you can focus on one specific neighborhood to limit gas mileage. A mower, trimmer, blower, and small trailer will all pay themselves off in three weeks. It’ll beat you up a little, but it’s rewarding work. It’s also extremely straightforward. As long as you do what you’re supposed to do, the customer will be happy. Don't target people with complex yards. Drive through the neighborhood and find someone who's obviously over a month behind on mowing their lawn. Knock and offer to do it for $40. Tell them you'll come back every two weeks if that works for them. Get to a point where you've got 10 or so yards on rotation and you can knock them out in a day. $400 for a day's work every two weeks, under the table. Do more or less depending on how much or little you want to make."

"I started a cleaning business."

"It was very easy, and I did it on Saturday afternoons. I just posted my contact info, services, and prices to local online communities. I worked for a young, wealthy couple cleaning a condo two to three times a month. I got around $600 extra per month for just a general cleaning. I also now include move-out cleans, which can get me $400-$600 per job. It's not huge cash, but it helped me kick a car note down from $24k to $16k. And that was with one client."

"I do side work car repairs."

"And by repairs I mean mostly just brakes. To get 4 brakes and rotors done at a shop today is typically around $1000 or more, because they up-charge parts and labor. I am able to do it for people for around $600. I charge $300-400 in labor (for 2 hours of work), and the parts just cost what they cost. So I save people a few hundred dollars and I make a few hundred myself. Sometimes I do one of these a month. Sometimes I do a few of them. I would like to get one a week, cause then I could legit get an extra $300 a week."

@baddie.brad

I’m so tired but so grateful! I love you guys!

Services

"I did Rover for three years, boarding dogs in my home."

"I made $11k a year consistently. Month to month could vary widely, $0-$2k, but I always finished the year the same. But you really should have some experience and be an actual responsible person, because dogs are living beings and deserve proper care. You also need to account for things like Rover fees (20%), taxes, insurance, supplies, and licensing laws. You will end up working all holidays because that's the busiest season for dog sitting, and you'll need to commit your schedule months in advance."

"Deliver pizza for a local place under the table."

"You can do pretty good Friday night through Sunday."

"I host bar trivia."

"It's usually three hours a night, and it makes me about $150 a night (plus tips). I'm actually trying to make this my full-time job; I enjoy it so much. It's not hard to buy trivia games or hook up with an existing company. I am independent and write my own games that I try to sell on the side."

"I started a YouTube channel a few years ago, and now it’s actually pulling in between $1,500 and $3,000 a month!"

"It’s nuts!!! It was just a hobby. I talk about tech stuff. I review computers, network-attached storage systems, and occasionally a tech company I follow pretty closely. My channel name is the same as my Reddit name. It did take several years before money started flowing, but now it's a pretty great side hustle because it's something I would do for free anyway."

"I make about $120/hr coaching baseball lessons."

"I’ll spend a weekend with 10 lessons coaching middle school to college athletes. I also charge $75/month to program throwing/pitching training. This can be 10-30 pitchers a session, ranging from high school to professional. It’s about 5-15 extra hours a week."

"Election work."

"Literally in 14 days this year, I'll gross $6,900. Long days, easy peasy work."

side hustle, side hustles, side hustle ideas, election work, polling work Working the polls or assisting with elections is a great side hustle.Photo credit: Canva

Food

Over ten years ago I started my own hummus business."

"Took a bit to get started but once I was accepted to different farmer’s markets, I made pretty good dough. But omg setting up a tent and tables at 5:30am on weekends was not fun after a couple of years. It was called Bean There, Done That and I had tons of creative flavors (and punny names).”

"I have a kettle corn pop-up."

"I do fairs, festivals, pumpkin patches, and can turn $300 of product and space rent into $6k+ sales in a day. Some states require [a food or vendor license] but in my popcorn is exempt from licensing because of its very low risk for foodborne illness."

"None of these enterprises have made me two thousand a month individually, but all of them combined have equaled that over many months of production."

"Edible mushrooms. Microgreens. Composting worms. Compost. Vegetable plant starts. Cloned fruit trees. I've been doing these for years, and I sell directly to consumers, no restaurants or middlemen."

Science

"I participate in focus groups and research studies."

"They're a pretty cool way to spend a couple of hours, and they usually pay $150-$250 a pop. I do this with several research companies in my area because most of them only let you participate once every few months. So, if you keep filling out questionnaires and screeners with various research companies, you can rotate through them and get picked more often. Using this method, I participate in one or two studies per month. I've actually been grinding hard on applying for research studies for the last few months to pay off my credit card debt. Been making some pretty good progress!"

"My very first month of donating plasma, I made $900."

"Paid for my three-and-a-half week road trip last summer to Canada. I only do it once a week now because the center closest to me changed their hours, so I get $40 a week instead of my usual $100, but that’s still an extra $160 a month I put back into savings that doesn’t have to come out of my normal paychecks, it’s just extra. So that’s nice. I do miss the $400 months, though."

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
side hustles
CommunityJoy
Modern Families

7 innate traits that make Middle Children the best children

It's not an opinion, it's science.

middle kids, middle children, middle child day, siblings, brother, sister, family, love, parents, parenting, adult children
via Wikimedia Commons/ABC Television and Wikimedia Commons/ABC Television

Eve Plumb and Christopher Knight from "The Brady Bunch"

Just think of the list: Stephanie Tanner, Jan Brady, Cory Matthews. Where would we be without these iconic middle children who made for such great TV in the '60s-'90s? And let's not forget Malcolm in the Middle, which managed to get an entire seven-season run out of all the conflict experienced by the misunderstood and overlooked middle child (not to mention the reboot coming April 2026).

August 12 is National Middle Child Day in America, dedicated to recognizing the sibling in the middle. It’s a special day to highlight the kids who often get lost in the familial mix while the youngest hogs all the attention and the eldest has all the responsibilities.

Elizabeth Walker founded the day in the 1980s because she thought middle children were “left out.” But we think the great traits of being the kid in the middle are worth highlighting any day of the week.

When people discuss the plight of these kids, they often bring up Middle Child Syndrome, which some say leads kids caught in the middle to feel rebellious or have a chip on their shoulder. However, at Upworthy, we like looking at the bright side of things, so we’ve made a list of the seven traits that make middle children amazing.

1. They’re good kids


@vintagetvshows

Malcolm In The Middle Intro Theme! #fyp #malcolminthemiddle #malcolm #intro #theme #song #tvshow #tvseries #series #show #opening #family

Research shows that, historically, middle children have been the most behaved out of the bunch. One study in 1964 and another in 2009 found that middle children were the least likely to act out.

Middle children have been shown to be humble, honest, and agreeable. The fact that they get less attention and have a less defined role in the family can lead to high levels of independence and self-sufficiency from a young age.

2. They’re wonderful team players

Middle children are the way to go if you’re building a team, whether on the field or in the office. “They become more independent, think outside the box, feel less pressure to conform, and are more empathetic,” Katrin Schumann, author of The Secret Power of Middle Children, told Psychology Today. “This gives them great skills as employees and also makes them excellent team players and partners.”

Did you know that Michael Jordan was a middle child? To be fair, he was known to be a near-psychotic competitor and not the kindest teammate around, but he knew how to get the job done. Simone Biles is a middle child, too! Can't argue with that.

3. They are successful

Schumann also says middle children are more successful than their older and younger siblings. She notes that at least 52% of US presidents were middle children, as were Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg, Jennifer Lopez, Princess Diana, and the aforementioned Michael Jordan.

"When they realize how many the useful skills they've developed as a result of being in the middle, they are empowered in ways that positively influence their lives," Schumann said, according to Business Insider. The expert claims that middle children are successful because they had to vie for attention and aren't used to giving up on what they want.”

4. They are great negotiators

Middle children must develop excellent negotiating skills because they are at a power disadvantage in the home. "When middleborns are growing up, they don't get their way because they're the biggest and they don't get their way because they're the baby who was indulged,” Catherine Salmon, PhD. told CBS News.

They learn to be clever and crafty to get what they want. They also develop a more easy-going nature when things don't go their way. They're used to being overlooked in one way or another, and don't get as bent out of shape about it as the youngest and oldest sometimes do.

5. They’re humble


Middle children have to learn humility the hard way because their birth order makes them the least important in the bunch. But even though it’s a harsh lesson, the benefits are great. “Humility can produce more happiness, positive emotions, and well-being because a person has a clearer understanding of the self,” Tiara Blain writes in a PsyD-reviewed article for Verywell Mind. “They are able to be comfortable with who they are and who they are not.”

6. They are creative

Middle children may also be more creative because they are “trying to be different from their elder and younger sibling,” Michele Borba, Ed.D., writes. Given that the eldest and youngest naturally stand out, the middle child may have to work a bit harder to receive attention for their creativity, so they push themselves further.

It could also be that middle children get a little more alone time spent in solitude to pursue creative endeavors.

7. They’re likeable

- YouTube youtu.be

Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, says middle children may be more “agreeable” and easygoing” than their siblings. “They are more extroverted, as well,” she writes. “They don’t have to lead the pack, and they don’t get the 'babying' their younger siblings do. This allows them a bit more freedom to be themselves.”

What's more is that the likability and agreeableness of middle children was found to be higher the more children a family had. So when kids get even more "lost in the shuffle" in a four or five-children household, some of these traits and phenomenon become amplified. In other words, anyone who's not the oldest or youngest qualifies for the label.

Ultimately, we’re all individuals, so not all middle children will develop these qualities. It depends how much stock you want to put into birth order theory. Some believe that birth order plays a monumental role in your personality and the trajectory of your life. Others are more skeptical. There's no denying, however, that the eldest, youngest, and middle children receive different amounts and kinds of parenting due to the nature of the family hierarchy. One study from 2008 showed that youngest children, for example, get 3,000 more hours of quality time with their parents during their key childhood years than other siblings. That's a massive difference!

In any case, it’s nice to take a second and heap some praise on the kids who may have felt a little neglected by letting them know that they are special, too. (Just not as special as Marsha. “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”).

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

From Your Site Articles
imddle children
Modern FamiliesFamily
Trending Stories