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25 things to do during the inauguration if you're afraid of the Trump presidency.

Inauguration Day is upon us. Soon, President Barack Obama will sail off into the sunset, and Donald J. Trump will be sworn in as our new commander in chief.

Yup. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

There's no stopping this. As of Jan. 20, Trump will be your president and mine. If you're feeling lost or hopeless, it's OK. A lot of people are feeling the same. It may be too late to undo the results of the election, but it's never too late to do whatever you can to stand up for what you believe in. What better time to turn your feelings into action than during the inauguration itself?


Here are 25 things you can do during Trump's inauguration ceremony to make the world a slightly less scary place:

1. Make donations to organizations whose work will be more important than ever in the next four years.

Lots of important and life-saving organizations are going to need your help to survive a Trump administration, and they rely heavily on donations like yours.

If you have some cash to spare, consider a one-time or recurring donation to Planned Parenthood, (which is hosting a $20 donation drive  on Jan. 20), the NRDC, the International Refugee Assistance Project, or the Trevor Project for LGBTQ Youth. There's also the NAACP, the National Network of Abortion Funds, Black Girls Code, the ACLU, National Women's Law Center, NARAL, Girls Write Now, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and Purple Purse. That's just to name a few.

2. Call or write to your representatives to let them know you want them to stand against attacks on civil rights.

I know, you've probably heard that suggestion about a thousand times. Well there's a reason: It works!

It's also a lot easier than you think. Look up who your representative is and find their publicly available contact information. Then you can call or write a message to them saying that, as their constituent, you hope they will stand by the issues that make a difference to you.

Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.

Don't be silent; the government is there for you.

3. Going to one of the protests the day after the inauguration? Have a sign-making party!

If you plan to attend the Women's March on Washington or any of the other marches being planned around the country on Jan. 21, why not spend the day making a totally badass sign?

Gather your friends, get some craft supplies, and go for it! Squeeze all that frustration out of a tube of glitter glue and let your feelings be known in the form of a pithy slogan. Or feel free to download and print one of Upworthy's Women's March signs.

Who says the First Amendment can't be fun as hell?

4. Find some local organizations that need your support.

Donating to nationwide groups is great but a lot of those organizations also have local chapters that need help. Find out which ones are in your area and learn more about how you can support them directly.

Which reminds me...

5. Volunteer!  

Money is one thing, and showing up to help is another. There's no shortage of places that need actual physical help and would be thrilled to have someone donate their valuable time. While the 45th president is being sworn into office on Friday (and also not planning to actually start work until Monday), why not use that time to give back?

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

Volunteering will also show you how easy it is to make a difference, which is a feeling that you're going to need in spades for the next four years.

6. Support real, credible journalism. With money.

I know, I know. Paying for news? Crazy concept. The thing is, journalism is in big trouble right now. In Trump's first press conference, he openly yelled at CNN anchor Jim Acosta. That's just one example of the president-elect publicly denouncing the credibility of a free press. Trump's chief adviser is Stephen Bannon, the former head of Breitbart — a platform that regularly publishes messages of hate and intolerance.

Trump has also promised to "open up the libel laws" in order to sue organizations that criticize his actions as president.

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images.

Now more than ever is the time to start financially supporting real news like The New York Times or The Washington Post or donating to ProPublica, a nonprofit newsroom.

As a pro tip: The Washington Post has lifted its paywall through Saturday for the inauguration.

Don't just get your news through Facebook. Now is the time to get out of your echo chamber and learn about the world through actual reporting and fact-based journalism.

7. Shut off inauguration coverage and watch the Love-A-Thon instead.

Tune in to Upworthy's Facebook page at 12:30 p.m. EST on Friday, Jan. 20, just as the inauguration is starting, to watch the Love-A-Thon, the first ever Facebook Live telethon. Its goal is to raise $500,000 for organizations like the ACLU and Planned Parenthood that stand up for marginalized communities.

That not enough for you? Did we mention that the Love-A-Thon will feature celebrities like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jane Fonda, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and more, joining together to stand up for love? It's gonna be great.

Be sure to RSVP to the event on Facebook to let all your friends know.

8. Use the #Inauguration hashtag to make your voice heard.

As usual during big events, Twitter and Facebook will be lit up with people sharing their thoughts using an official inauguration hashtag. You can jump in on the action and share your thoughts too.

Imagine if the majority of tweets were about standing up for the rights of minorities or fighting to stop climate change. That would send a pretty clear and powerful message.

9. Check out some of the protest hashtags as well.

As Trump is being sworn in, lots of people will be using Twitter to protest and send a message.

For example, the sexual assault advocacy group Force: Upsetting Rape Culture will be starting #WeWillNotBeSilent. Sexual assault survivors will be tweeting with that hashtag to stand up to the rape culture Trump represents. They'll also be tweeting with #InThisMan — to represent the ways in which Trump reminds them of their abusers.

10. Write "This is not normal" on a note and stick it somewhere you'll see it every day.

In a year or two you might forget how weird it is that a populist demagogue surrounded by hate-mongers is the president of the United States. That might lead to complacency, and complacency is dangerous.

So make a note that this is not OK. Stick it on your fridge or above your bed or on your coffee machine. For the next four years, it will serve as a reminder of what you're fighting for.

11. Reach out to someone who's also feeling anxious.

I know, right? Photo by Fox Photos/Getty Images.

If you're feeling bad, chances are you know someone else who is also feeling that way too. Now is the time to reach out to them. We're all going to need each other's help and support.

You can even start planning to take real action together. Everything's easier when you have a friend.

12. Go visit a museum.

Museums are great, aren't they? You get to learn stuff, you get to see amazing artifacts and artwork, and you get to carry around an empty water bottle all day because, seriously, is there a recycling bin anywhere in the building?

On Inauguration Day, a lot of museums are offering free admission. New York City will be opening the doors to nearly a dozen museums, and many museums in the D.C. area will be hosting events.

Find out what's around you, and soak in some culture!

13. Join an online movement and start being active in it.

If you don't live in a major city or can't travel around easily, there are lots of online social justice movements you can be a part of. Pantsuit Nation got a ton of coverage during the election, but there a lot of other smaller groups on a range of issues from body positivity to immigration reform to workers' rights that you can join.

Being active and supportive in movements is essential if you want the causes you care about to stay in the conversation.

14. Give that whole meditation thing a try.

Meditation! You've heard of it. Your one vegan friend probably does it. You have an app for it that you haven't even opened yet. Why not give it a try today?

Meditation has been shown to help ease stress and promote relaxation, and at the very least, it's nice to just take a couple minutes to breathe and be peaceful.

Photo by Niklas Halle'N/AFP/Getty Images.

15. Take the #PeoplesOath with the ACLU.

While Trump takes the oath of office, the ACLU has offered a way for citizens to take an oath of their own.

The People's Oath is for people who want to make a promise — to themselves and the world — to uphold the Constitution and stand up for the rights of everyone, especially including those whom Trump has directly threatened.

16. Write about how you're feeling.

Chances are that your thoughts are complicated, conflicted, and not easy to talk about. One great way to work it all out is to sit down and write about it. If you're comfortable doing so, share your writing on social media so that friends and family know where you stand. It might help someone you know process their own feelings, and that's a powerful thing.

There are no rules, really. Write what you're thinking. It'll help you process it and make it clearer in your head — which will make it easier to figure out what you want to do next.

"Dear diary. What the f***." Photo by Ron Sachs-Pool/Getty images.

17. Watch a movie or read a book about someone overcoming incredible obstacles to remind yourself that together, we can do anything.

"Remember the Titans," "Selma," "Hidden Figures," "Spice World," "Harry Potter" — there's no shortage of on-theme stories about people overcoming insurmountable odds. That's what the next four years are going to feel like.

Based on true stories or not, they might just give you the juice you need to make it through the day.

18. Listen to something better than the inauguration speech. Like the "I Have a Dream" speech, for example.

Maybe you're stuck at work during the inauguration with a bunch of people who want to watch it on the office TV. Maybe you're a groundskeeper at the National Mall and there's no option to ignore what's happening right in front of you.

No biggie! Just pop in your headphones and listen to something that makes you feel better, like your favorite album or podcast. Or you can listen to Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. Hearing it might give you a glimmer of hope in the goodness of people despite what they're up against.

19. Set a reminder for the 2018 midterm elections.

Mark this date on your calendar: Nov. 6, 2018.

Everyone has their eyes set on 2020, but if you want to, you can change the government in just two short years.

On Nov. 6, 2018, at least 33 Senate seats will be up for grabs. That's a huge deal if you don't like the way the government is operating, but you can't just sit around and hope for the best. You have to spend as much time as you can learning about your candidates and their policies, and then you have to get out and vote. Try to get as many people as you can to do the same.

Photo by Darren Hauck/Getty Images.

You have two years — make the most of it.

20. Donate to a food bank.

It's easy, it'll make you feel good, and it'll help some of the millions of hungry people in the United States. Plus, it'll get you out of the house and away from social media if you want to disconnect from inauguration coverage. There's really no good reason not to.

21. Form or join a book club.

Now is the perfect time to start reading again. I know, the inauguration is at noon Eastern time on a Friday, so it's probably not the best time to hold your first book club meeting, but it is the perfect time to send an email to your friends asking them to join you in starting a book club.

Read books that will motivate you, or at least entertain you, through the next four years.

22. Consider running for office yourself or get involved in a political campaign.

If there's one thing this election has taught us, it's that literally anyone — regardless of qualifications — can become president or end up in politics.

There's lots of great information available on how to run for office. The rules tend to differ by state, district, and position, so read up on it. If you're a woman, check out Emily's List. If you're a person of color, check out LaunchProgress. We need more diversity and representation in government, and there's no reason that can't start with you.

Even if you don't decide to run, you might know someone who would make the perfect candidate. You can be their campaign manager! Sounds fun, doesn't it?

They started somewhere. Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

23. Learn about how to become part of the resistance to the Trump administration's policies.

The power is in your hands to resist the hateful and harmful administration Trump has promised to lead, and there's no better time to start learning how than as he's being sworn into office. The Resistance Manual, which was put out by several prominent Black Lives Matter activists and racial justice organization Stay Woke, is a good place to start.

Once you know what your role can be in a Trump world, help spread that message to others. And after you've done that...

24. Read up on conflict resolution and how to have difficult conversations.

The 2016 election revealed a sobering truth about the American people: We disagree fundamentally on a lot of key issues. Remember how terrified you were to have Thanksgiving dinner with your conservative cousins? Yeah, well, get used to that.

There's going to be a lot of hard conversations in our future. You're pretty much guaranteed to have a run-in with someone you disagree with. Instead of going on the defensive though, why not take some time to learn about conflict resolution and how to have productive conversations?

Yelling and screaming and fighting aren't really going to get us anywhere. Instead of watching the inauguration, pick up a book that will teach you how to engage people on a human level and work out your differences with civility.

25. Take care of yourself.

It's OK to feel what you're feeling. Existential dread isn't a sign of weakness nor does it mean you're a special snowflake. It means you're paying attention.

This election did something pretty remarkable: It made people actually grieve. That means that people are experiencing the actual process of mourning, and emotions are raw and vulnerable. Yes, even two months later.

If you care about the world, you're going to need to work hard, but you're also going to need to take care of yourself. Whatever your self-care involves — bubble baths, yoga, spa days, burying yourself in your work, laying on the floor and crying — double down on it, and don't feel bad about it.

Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images.

You need to put on your own oxygen mask before you help others, if you know what I mean.

Most importantly, try to remember that this isn't the end of the world; it's the beginning of a hard and worthy challenge.

It may seem impossible to get through the next four years, but never forget that there are always things that you can do yourself to take a stand for the things you believe in and to make the world a better place in ways big and small.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Family

Mom explains the 'dishonest' Boomer parenting style that hurts adults to this day

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T."

boomer parents, parenting styles, dishonest harmony, parents, older parents, '70s and '80s parents,

“What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict.”

There are certainly many things the Boomer parents generally did right when raising their kids. Teaching them the importance of manners and respect. That actions do, in fact, have consequences. That a little manners go a long way…all of these things are truly good values to instill in kids.

But, and we are speaking in broad strokes here, being able to openly discuss difficult feelings was not one of the skills passed down by this generation. And many Gen X and Millennial kids can sadly attest to this. This is why the term “dishonest harmony” is giving many folks of this age group some relief. They finally have a term to describe the lack of emotional validation they needed throughout childhood to save face.


Psychologists define the "dishonest harmony" approach as maintaining a façade of peace and harmony at the expense of addressing underlying issues. Parents who practice disharmony prioritize appearance over authenticity and are known to avoid conflict and sweep problems under the rug.

In a video posted to TikTok, a woman named Angela Baker begins by saying, “Fellow Gen X and Millennials, let's talk about our parents and their need for dishonest harmony.”

@parkrosepermaculture

Replying to @Joe Namath #boomerparents #toxicparent #harmony #genx #millennial #badparenting #conflict #nocontact

Barker, who thankfully did not experience this phenomenon growing up, but says her husband “certainly” did, shared that when she’s tried to discuss this topic, the typical response she’d get from Boomers would be to “Stop talking about it. We don't need to hear about it. Move on. Be quiet.” And it’s this attitude that’s at the core of dishonest harmony.

What the experts say about 'dishonest harmony'

"Research supports what many therapists witness daily: families that avoid conflict tend to experience higher levels of anxiety, depression, and relational dissatisfaction," writes Dr. Rachel White, LMFT, at Restoration Psychological Services. "According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), families who suppress conflict are more likely to develop covert communication patterns, where body language and tone carry more weight than actual words. This leads to confusion, emotional misattunement, and a cycle of disconnection.

How 'dishonest harmony' works in families

“What that’s showing is their lack of ability to handle the distress that they feel when we talk openly about uncomfortable things,” she says. “What they want is dishonest harmony rather than honest conflict. Keep quiet about these hard issues. Suppress your pain, suppress your trauma. Definitely don't talk openly about it so that you can learn to heal and break the cycle,” she continues. “What matters most is that we have the appearance of harmony, even if there's nothing harmonious under the surface.”

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos


Barker concludes that this need to maintain a certain facade led to most of the toxic parenting choices of that period. “The desire of Boomer parents to have this perception that everything was sweet and hunky dory, rather than prioritizing the needs of their kids, is what drove a lot of the toxic parenting we experienced.”

Barker’s video made others feel seen

“How did I not hear about dishonest harmony until now? This describes my family dynamic to a T. And if you disrespect that illusion, you are automatically labeled as the problem. It’s frustrating,” one person wrote in the comments.

“THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm a 49 yo biker sitting in my bedroom crying right now. You just put a name to my darkness!” added another.

baby boomers, boomer parents, boomer couple, couple 60s, grandparents, A Baby Boomer couple.via Canva/Photos


Many shared how they were refusing to repeat the cycle

One wrote, “This is EXACTLY my family dynamic. I’m the problem because I won’t remain quiet. Not anymore. Not again.”

“I love when my kids tell me what I did wrong. It gives me a chance to acknowledge and apologize. Everyone wants to be heard,” said another.

Of course, no parenting style is perfect. And all parents are working with the current ideals of the time, their own inner programming, and their inherent need to course-correct child-rearing problems of the previous generation. Gen Alpha parents will probably cringe at certain parenting styles currently considered in vogue. It’s all part of the process.

But hopefully, one thing we have learned as a collective is that true change happens when we summon the courage to have difficult conversations.

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

Internet

Why chasing 1,000 rejections might be the key to your biggest dreams

Gabriella Carr asked for 1,000 “no’s.” The universe had other plans.

rejection, tiktok, viral, no's, challenge

Gabrielle Carr introduces her "Year of 1,000 No's" notebook

If you opened Gabriella Carr's red notebook, you might expect to find a diary, a grocery list, or her homework. Instead, you'd find an organized, numbered list of failures.

That's one way to see it. Gabriella views it differently, though. To her, every entry in that notebook is a victory.


Gabriella, a content creator and actor, is embarking on a fascinating experiment she calls "The 1,000 No's." Her goal: to face rejection 1,000 times in a year. While the rest of us spend our days avoiding the word "no," Gabriella is hunting for it. She asks for opportunities she feels unqualified for. She puts herself in situations where rejection is likely.

Something unexpected happened on her quest for failure: she started to succeed.

In seeking "no's," Gabriella stumbled upon a life filled with unexpected "yeses." Her journey offers a fresh perspective on risk and rejection, and she's not alone in discovering the surprising power of failure.

The notebook that changed everything

Gabriella began her challenge in September 2025. As a creative, the sting of rejection was familiar. Casting directors passed on her self-tape auditions. Brand partners left her emails unread. The constant silence and dismissal started to take a toll on her self-worth.

She switched up her approach. Instead of striving for a "yes" and dreading denials, she set "no" as the goal.

rejection, tiktok, viral, no's, challenge This is where Gabrielle tracks her rejection journey.Photo credit: TikTok

Grabbing a red notebook and a permanent marker, she scrawled "The 1,000 Rejections of Gabrielle Carr" on its front and began to track her journey.

The results surprised her. Amid the rejections lay unexpected wins; she earned a spot in a national pageant she'd written off as a long shot and landed a role in a play.

When Gabriella shared her rejection journey on TikTok, it resonated with hundreds of thousands of people. They recognized their own fears in her red book.

"My daughter shared your account with me, and it inspired me to apply for my dream job! I haven't heard back yet, but yes or no, it felt good to be so daring!" read one comment. "I need to get an internship for spring, and I'm so scared," shared another. One viewer said that Gabriella's courage inspired them to apply for a federal job.

@misscuddy this challenge just gets us in side quests 😭 they took this so serious too so adorbs!#foryouu #nochallenge #rejectiontherapy #newyearsresolution ♬ original sound - Fbrl challenge creator

Users across the Internet are following her lead. TikTok user @theplanistobefamous tracks his outrageous haggling on Facebook Marketplace. Others record similar experiments—renegotiating lease agreements, asking strangers for fashion advice, pitching themselves to major brands for sponsorships.

Gabriella's experiment has led her to a powerful realization: what holds us back from our greatest dreams isn't a lack of talent or opportunity—it's the fear of asking.

Embracing the "no"

Gabriella follows in the footsteps of innovators who saw fear as their sole obstacle.

Jason Comely, a freelance IT specialist, first developed the concept of "Rejection Therapy" in 2009. After his wife left him, Jason felt isolated and hesitant to socialize. His fear of rejection had morphed into a psychological barrier, a self-imposed mental prison that prevented him from forming meaningful connections and living a free life. He recognized the trap he was in—and knew he needed to find a way to confront and overcome his fears.

To toughen up, he modeled his training after Russian special forces. He created a game with one rule: get rejected at least once a day. Accepted requests didn't count—he had to continue until he got a "no." This simple but powerful game became more than a personal experiment, resonating with people worldwide and blossoming into a global movement.

Jia Jiang took the challenge publicly as well. After a difficult rejection from an investor, he decided to try Jason Comely's "Rejection Therapy" experiment for 100 days. Jiang began recording his quest for no's, expecting to document a long string of awkward failures.

On day three, he strolled into a Krispy Kreme and asked an employee to make him doughnuts shaped like Olympic rings.

Jiang braced for laughter and a curt "no," but the employee caught him off guard as she began to sketch a design. Fifteen minutes later, she handed him a box of Olympic ring-shaped doughnuts, free of charge. This encounter went viral, touching millions with its heartwarming display of unexpected kindness.

In 2017, Jiang gave a TED Talk titled "What I Learned from 100 Days of Rejection," which garnered over six million views—one of the most popular lectures released that year.

Why rejection hurts (and how to overcome it)

If these experiments yield such positive results, why do we remain terrified of putting ourselves out there?

The answer lies in our biology. Psychologists have discovered that social rejection lights up the same areas of the brain as physical pain. In other words, hearing "no" triggers a reaction in your brain—the same one that activates when you slam a finger in the door or douse yourself with freezing water by accident.

rejection, pain, evolution, biology, psychology Social rejection feels just like physical pain to the brain.Photo credit: Canva

From an evolutionary perspective, this makes perfect sense. In the beginning, our ancestors relied on social groups for survival. Being a part of the tribe meant access to shared resources, protection from predators, and aid in child-rearing. Outcasts faced starvation and predators solo. Although we no longer live in small, nomadic tribes, your brain is still wired with that ancient software. It perceives modern rejections, like an unanswered text or a chilly response during a job interview, with the same primal panic as banishment from the group thousands of years ago.

This is why Gabriella's challenge works—it's a form of exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy is a well-established psychological method used to help people overcome phobias. The core idea is to gradually expose someone to the object of their fears in a safe and controlled way. For instance, if you have an intense fear of spiders, a good therapist won't place you in a room full of tarantulas. They'll ease you into it. The process might begin with something as simple as looking at a cartoon drawing of a spider. Once you're comfortable with that, you might move on to realistic photos, then to a video of a spider. By the end, you could end up in the same room as one or hold a harmless spider in your hands. This logical, step-by-step approach teaches your brain that what you fear isn't a real threat.

Gabriella's experiment works in a similar fashion. By seeking out small, manageable rejections—like requesting a song on the radio—she began to retrain her brain. With each mini-rejection, Gabriella's fear of hearing "no" faded, making it easier for her to take bigger risks, like signing up for that pageant.

Gen Z and the gamification of failure

This trend has seen a major resurgence with Gen Z viewers at the forefront. It's no surprise given today's challenges. Data shows Gen Z may be the "most rejected generation" in history. By February 2025, the average job posting received 244 applications. Young people sent out hundreds of resumes—and faced a wall of silence or boilerplate automatic rejections.

When life feels out of control, turning challenges into a game can help you regain a sense of agency. Instead of passively waiting and dreading rejections, people like Gabriella are making "no's" the goal. This shifts everything. This powerful reframing tool protects your self-esteem and spins a helpless situation into a conquerable hurdle—you can win the game by participating in life.

Ready to start your own rejection challenge?

You don't need to aim for 1,000 rejections or a "no" every day to benefit. If you want to strengthen your own "rejection muscle," here are some simple strategies to get started.

questions, bravery, asking, rejection, exposure Asking questions can be a form of bravery.Photo credit: Canva

Start with low-stakes requests

Begin by asking for something minuscule, like the time from a stranger. The goal is to feel that jolt of anxiety—then realize you're okay.

Know when to stop

Pushing your comfort zone is healthy, but remember to stay safe. As psychologist Dr. Elisabeth Morray explains, forcing yourself into situations that feel unsafe can yield traumatic outcomes. Know your limits—the goal is growth, not distress.

Track your data

Take a cue from Gabriella and use a pen and paper to record your rejections. Writing them down by hand helps externalize the experience, turning an uncomfortable memory into banal data entry.

Reframe the outcome

Remember what Jia Jiang learned: the worst thing someone can say isn't "no." It's that you never even asked. When you stay silent, you reject yourself by default. Keep in mind that with every brave request, you open the door for the universe to say "yes."

The beautiful truth about "no"

We spend an obscene amount of time trying to be perfect and dodging the embarrassment of disapproval. But people like Gabriella Carr, Jia Jiang, and Jason Comely show us the vibrant, exhilarating world that awaits on the flip side of fear. Rejection is an inevitable part of being human, but there's no shame in asking.

Every "no" in Gabriella's notebook marks an act of courage—an opportunity to embrace possibility over comfort. Within those possible 1,000 rejections lie the "yeses" that will shape her life: the plays, the pageants, and the moments she would have missed if she'd chosen to stay silent.

Buy your red notebook. Approach a neighbor with the favor that's been on your mind. Apply for the job that seems out of your league. The worst outcome? "No." And as Gabriella has shown, hearing a "no" isn't the end of the world—it's proof that you were courageous enough to take the leap and try. Each attempt, no matter how disastrous, is a step forward. You're proving to yourself that you are willing to endure uncertainty to pursue what matters to you.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo

Tired man (left); energized man (right)

The benefits of getting a good night's sleep are too vast to name. Sleep is as essential for our brains as food and water are for our bodies. If you're not getting enough, sleeping better has been shown to elevate your mood, improve your memory, and even boost your physical health. And then there's the obvious: when you don't sleep well, you'll have less energy and generally perform worse on tasks that require any kind of effort or thought.

However, we're all human, and, sometimes, humans sleep terribly. Your infant might wake you up, or a car alarm might go off outside, interrupting your regularly-scheduled REM. It's not always our fault when we don't sleep well, but there might be an interesting way to fix it.


A study from 2014 may have demonstrated the existence of something called "placebo sleep," or tricking your brain into believing you slept better than you did.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo a man sitting at a desk with his head on his arms Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

The placebo effect, of course, has been studied relentlessly over the years and has shown that the human body can do amazing, almost impossible things, when the brain gets on board. The classic example is when symptoms of disease get measurably better after a patient takes a "fake" pill. Another study out of Harvard showed that people who were told their jobs qualified as exercise showed improved health and fitness markers compared to people who did the same job. Placebos even work when the person knows they're taking a placebo. It's called an "honest placebo" and is considered a legitimate, ethical treatment method for many ailments.

The researchers in 2014 wanted to find out if the placebo effect could also apply to sleep. So, they lectured a group of participants about the importance of REM sleep and how it can effect cognitive functioning. The participants were then split into two groups and monitored overnight while they slept. The next morning, one group was told they achieved 28.7% REM sleep, which is terrific, and the other group was told they only spent 16.2% of their sleep time in REM, which is below average. The numbers, however, were complete fiction.

Stunningly, the participants who believed they achieved top quality sleep performed better the next day on a series of arithmetic and word association tests compared to the other groups.

In their conclusion, the authors wrote, "These findings supported the hypothesis that mindset can influence cognitive states in both positive and negative directions, suggesting a means of controlling one's health and cognition."

According to Smithsonian Magazine, follow up experiments confirmed the findings.

The key to feeling great and performing as if you had a great night's sleep may lie in simply believing that you did.

There are a lot of ways to "placebo your sleep" in order to generate that belief. For starters, you can adopt a new routine or technique or even supplement in order to prime your brain.

John Cline Ph.D. asserts for Psychology Today that the popularity of sleeping aids like melatonin may be tied less to the fact that they work, and more to the fact that people believe they work. But you don't need to take any supplements or medications. Having a slow evening wind down with a book and an herbal tea, trying a new sleeping position, or practicing some measured breathing might work just as well. Or, rather, they might work precisely because you believe they will.

sleep, sleep tricks, sleeping techniques, science, scientific research, placebo effect, placebo Can a warm cup of tea help you sleep better? If you believe it, then yes. Photo by Dana Ciurumelea on Unsplash

You could take the concept a step further and alter your morning routine on nights you know for a fact you didn't sleep well. Perhaps it's by using a new coffee brand, doing some stretches before getting out of bed, or meditating before starting your day. Anything that you truly believe might help make you more alert and focused may just work.

One viral social media sleep trend capitalizes on this research perfectly. Researchers have shown that forcing your mouth into a smile has been shown to improve your mood. Turns out, similarly, you may be able to get sleepy by pretending to be super tired. Psychologist Erica Terblanche calls it the "alpha bridge," and it involves gently closing your eyes, fluttering them open just a tad, and then closing them again as you relax and breath. It simulates the feeling of "nodding off" and is said to create the alpha brainwaves that transition your brain from wakefulness to sleep. It's another clever way of tricking your own brain.


@erica.terblanche

Here's a skill to help you fall asleep on an airplane or anywhere else for that matter. . Its called going over the Alpha Bridge. #EricaTerblanche #ThriveGuru #motivation #sleeping

It sounds cheesy, but the power of mindset and positive thinking is truly tremendous. Our beliefs and thought patterns can greatly influence our body, our behavior, and our mood. Sometimes, our mindset can even be stronger than actual reality. Now we have the data to prove that it applies to our precious sleep, too.

Mental Health

Google productivity expert says 'fun homework' makes you happier. Here's why it actually works.

The simple trick Google productivity expert Laura Mae Martin swears by.

productivity, book, google, expert, homework
Photo credit: Canva, Laura Mae Miller

Laura Mae Miller is rewriting the book on productivity.

We all know the feeling: You walk through the front door after a long day, or slam your laptop shut, and the weight of the world slides off your shoulders. Your overworked brain, desperate to relax, entices you to collapse onto the couch and scroll through your phone until it's time to sleep.

But is this the best way to recharge? By doing nothing? Experts say no.


@xparmesanprincessx Spending this cozy Sunday planning my curriculum for 2026 📚✍️ I’m going to break my year up in to 4 semesters with different themes and focuses for each month and have more long term learning projects like relearning Spanish! #curriculum #learning #personalgrowth #personalcurriculum #books ♬ original sound - Elizabeth Jean

A fascinating practice on social media called the "personal curriculum" is trending. Championed by Google executive productivity advisor Laura Mae Martin, the concept is simple yet counterintuitive. The idea is to assign yourself "homework"—not to earn a degree, promotion, or extra cash, but for the pure joy of learning. TikTok user Elizabeth Jean also helped popularize the term "personal curriculum," and posts videos with tips on how to create your own.

Adding tasks to an overflowing to-do list might sound like a recipe for burnout, but Martin suggests that a structured, self-directed learning plan can boost energy, sharpen the mind, and restore a sense of identity.

The unexpected science of "fun homework"

It's easy to compare our brains to batteries that drain during the day and require total rest to recharge. But cognitive science shows that our minds are more like muscles. To stay healthy, we need new and interesting activities that challenge us.

When we engage in what researchers call "cognitively stimulating activities," the physical structure of our brains changes. A 2017 report from the Global Council on Brain Health highlighted that keeping the mind active is essential for maintaining brain health as we age. Creative activities like painting, photography, or writing can reduce cortisol levels, lowering stress hormones and creating an emotional regulation loop that leaves you feeling refreshed and ready for the next day.

A systematic review in BMJ Open found a clear link between lifelong learning and a lowered risk of dementia. Researchers explained that challenging the brain with new information builds cognitive reserve, a.k.a. its ability to adapt and remain resistant to damage.

Think of it as investing in your mental future. Each time you tackle a new language lesson or deep-dive into Renaissance art history, you're strengthening your brain in ways that can last a lifetime.

Redefining what it means to be productive

The word "productivity" can carry heavy connotations. It suggests endless checklists, exhausting efficiency hacks, and squeezing every drop of output from our waking hours. Laura Mae Martin offers a refreshing alternative, defining productivity in simple terms: "Productivity is accomplishing what you intend to do, when you intend to do it."

This meaning allows us to reclaim our time. It shifts our mindsets from external validation to internal satisfaction.


How to build your syllabus

Let's put this in practical terms. How do you bring these "nice ideas" into the real world? By creating a "personal curriculum" and treating it with the same respect you would have for a college course. Humans respond well to structure and deadlines. Here's how to create a syllabus that sticks:

  1. Follow the spark: Genuine curiosity must drive your personal curriculum. If you hated calculus in high school, don't pick it up again for arbitrary reasons, like trying to feel smart. Look for subjects that make you lose track of time. Identifying every tree in your neighborhood could be one, or mastering the perfect sourdough loaf.
  2. Diversify your materials: Learning exists everywhere, not solely in dense textbooks. Keep required texts engaging and fun, mixing in podcasts, workshops, flashcards, and documentaries. If you are learning a new language, listen to an album in that language. If you're studying paleontology, visit a local natural history museum.
  3. Set the scene: Get yourself in the zone with a little learning mise en place. Find a specific chair and reserve it for reading, or flipping through flashcards. Make a study playlist and fill it with songs to play in the background. When you sit in that chair, or hit play, you are signaling to your brain that it's time to switch into "student" mode.

The 20–30 minute rule

Don't spend all your free time on this. Overload is the greatest pitfall with personal curriculums. We get excited, plan to study every night for two hours straight, then find ourselves exhausted and discouraged.

Sustainability lies in the "Goldilocks" rule for time commitment: keep sessions between 20 and 30 minutes.

Simple 20–30 minute blocks fit into even the busiest schedules yet, they're long enough to achieve a flow state.. Slot one in after dinner or while drinking your morning coffee.

Valerie Craddock, a content creator, shared her November curriculum on TikTok, embracing this method. It included gentle, actionable goals: walk 8,000 steps, practice penmanship three times a week, work out for 30 minutes. By keeping her curriculum low stakes, Craddock set herself up for a winning streak instead of a guilt trip.

Make room for what matters

How do you protect this newfound time? Martin suggests a simple but effective tactic: integrating your personal calendar with your work one.

This gives you a complete view of the week. You might see Tuesday packed with meetings, so you'll make a mental note to keep that evening free. Thursday looks much lighter, offering the perfect window to pencil in that 30-minute creative writing session.

productivity, book, google, expert, homework Woman working, productively.Photo credit: Canva

An approach like this helps you honor the natural ebb and flow of energy, and prevents you from overcommitting on days when you're already drained. When you schedule "fun homework" with the same seriousness as an All-Hands meeting, you're sending yourself a powerful message: personal growth is as important as obligations.

Redefining "you"

One of the most rewarding aspects of the personal curriculum is its ability to reshape our sense of self. In a society obsessed with asking, "What do you do for work?" discovering an answer that's not attached to a paycheck can feel freeing.

When you learn, you transcend the role of parent, employee, or partner—you become a historian, linguist, painter, or botanist.

Buy the notebook, write a syllabus, and enjoy becoming a beginner again. You might discover that a little homework can unlock the key to reconnecting with yourself.

parenting, parenting advice, boomer parents, baby boomer parents, millennial parents, millennial parenting

A man holds a baby as a woman looks on.

There are seemingly endless generational differences in parenting between Millennials and their Baby Boomer parents. As grandparents, many Boomers have been described by Millennials as absent. They've also been labeled with "gramnesia," a blend of "grandparent" and "amnesia," referring to how many seem to forget what raising kids was really like.

One Millennial mom shared a similar take on Reddit, explaining that her Boomer parents made it seem like raising babies was far less taxing for them than it is for modern-day parents.


She wrote, "Everyone I've talked to, their parents make it seem like 'back in the day' all babies just slept. They put them in their cribs and they napped and slept and had no problems and it was just rainbows and sunshine. No contact naps, no sleep training etc. Are they misremembering? Was it just easier??"

Fellow Millennial parents offered experiences and insight with their Boomer parents that felt validating.

millennial mom, millennial parents, raising babies, baby, boomer parents An exhausted mom and her baby.Photo credit: Canva

Millennials share receipts on Boomer parenting

Many Millennials agree that the Boomer perspective on raising kids is skewed:

"I know one boomer who put earplugs in and ignored her baby all night. She'll tell you baby slept through the night. The grandma who lived in the house with them and actually got up for the crying baby might tell you a different story." - TraditionalManager82

"My mom was like 'I thought you were sleeping through the night but your 13 year old brother was actually getting up to take care of you'." - Stepharoni523

"My mom gave us dimetapp 🤣 can't imagine doing that to my kid." - ChoptankSweets

"My boomer mom told me she would put me down for a nap and go for a walk around the neighborhood while I cried." - AppropriateAmoeba406

@johnnyhilbrant

Your boomer parent comments on your parenting… #boomer #parenting #millennial #fyp

"Yep, my boomer MIL visited when my eldest was a week old. Baby started crying because it was time to eat. As I tended to her, my MIL told me to just put her in her crib, close the door to the nursery, and go do something for myself out of the house. Like get my nails done, go have coffee, etc. She said that's what she did with all of her kids. 'They're in the crib, so they can't get hurt' was her reasoning. She also felt I was 'spoiling' my 6 pound baby by feeding her when she was hungry. I was HORRIFIED and never left her alone with my babies no matter how much she offered." - littlebittydoodle

"They weren't held to even half the standards parents today are held to. It was easier because many of them were terrible parents, and that was just fine." - allie06nd

"Even 'good parents' following the recommended guidelines of the time would generally be considered sub-par by today's standards. I also think there is so much more information and awareness of the importance of early childhood development today. This has led to added stress and pressure on today's parents to influence development as positively as possible. And parents feel responsible for any setbacks, real or perceived." - heycarlgoodtoseeyou

Some Millennials defend Boomers

Not everyone agreed that Boomer parents simply had it easier, and they explained why:

millennials, millennial parents, millennial parenting, modern parenting, tired mom A mom yawns while feeding her baby.Photo credit: Canva

"I think there is some truth to the idea that babies generally slept better. The advice then was to lay babies down on their bellies, and many babies do sleep better that way. But of course, it's also more dangerous and not worth the risk, so the advice now is to sleep safely on their backs. But for all of the babies who were luckily able to sleep safely that way, there's a good chance that the parents slept better too." - mdb_la

"Yeah, it's an evolutionary thing. We forget how horrible it was otherwise no one would ever have a second child." - tonyrocks922

"My mom just doesn't remember a lot of the details. I think that goes to show that it really does go quickly and is a faint memory one day. My mom is always saying 'I honestly don't remember this with you girls, so it must not have been that bad!' 🤪 I have a 4 year age gap and I even forgot about the newborn stage. It's just a blur now. I also think no social media/internet at their fingertips back then is also a huge part. Parents just…parented and didn't have constant communication with the 'outside world'." - SaveBandit_02

"I asked my granny how she raised four kids because I struggle with just two of them. She said she thinks I put more into it than she did. So I'm guessing they didn't worry themselves over a lot of the details millennials do. Knowing that I'm making life harder on myself than past generations did doesn't change my behavior, but I do feel more capable and calm and less wrecked when I remind myself that I am choosing to be a highly involved and engaged parent, it's not a requirement, and I am giving them everything I've got of my own free will." - dammitjenna