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25 things to do during the inauguration if you're afraid of the Trump presidency.

Inauguration Day is upon us. Soon, President Barack Obama will sail off into the sunset, and Donald J. Trump will be sworn in as our new commander in chief.

Yup. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

There's no stopping this. As of Jan. 20, Trump will be your president and mine. If you're feeling lost or hopeless, it's OK. A lot of people are feeling the same. It may be too late to undo the results of the election, but it's never too late to do whatever you can to stand up for what you believe in. What better time to turn your feelings into action than during the inauguration itself?


Here are 25 things you can do during Trump's inauguration ceremony to make the world a slightly less scary place:

1. Make donations to organizations whose work will be more important than ever in the next four years.

Lots of important and life-saving organizations are going to need your help to survive a Trump administration, and they rely heavily on donations like yours.

If you have some cash to spare, consider a one-time or recurring donation to Planned Parenthood, (which is hosting a $20 donation drive  on Jan. 20), the NRDC, the International Refugee Assistance Project, or the Trevor Project for LGBTQ Youth. There's also the NAACP, the National Network of Abortion Funds, Black Girls Code, the ACLU, National Women's Law Center, NARAL, Girls Write Now, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and Purple Purse. That's just to name a few.

2. Call or write to your representatives to let them know you want them to stand against attacks on civil rights.

I know, you've probably heard that suggestion about a thousand times. Well there's a reason: It works!

It's also a lot easier than you think. Look up who your representative is and find their publicly available contact information. Then you can call or write a message to them saying that, as their constituent, you hope they will stand by the issues that make a difference to you.

Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.

Don't be silent; the government is there for you.

3. Going to one of the protests the day after the inauguration? Have a sign-making party!

If you plan to attend the Women's March on Washington or any of the other marches being planned around the country on Jan. 21, why not spend the day making a totally badass sign?

Gather your friends, get some craft supplies, and go for it! Squeeze all that frustration out of a tube of glitter glue and let your feelings be known in the form of a pithy slogan. Or feel free to download and print one of Upworthy's Women's March signs.

Who says the First Amendment can't be fun as hell?

4. Find some local organizations that need your support.

Donating to nationwide groups is great but a lot of those organizations also have local chapters that need help. Find out which ones are in your area and learn more about how you can support them directly.

Which reminds me...

5. Volunteer!  

Money is one thing, and showing up to help is another. There's no shortage of places that need actual physical help and would be thrilled to have someone donate their valuable time. While the 45th president is being sworn into office on Friday (and also not planning to actually start work until Monday), why not use that time to give back?

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

Volunteering will also show you how easy it is to make a difference, which is a feeling that you're going to need in spades for the next four years.

6. Support real, credible journalism. With money.

I know, I know. Paying for news? Crazy concept. The thing is, journalism is in big trouble right now. In Trump's first press conference, he openly yelled at CNN anchor Jim Acosta. That's just one example of the president-elect publicly denouncing the credibility of a free press. Trump's chief adviser is Stephen Bannon, the former head of Breitbart — a platform that regularly publishes messages of hate and intolerance.

Trump has also promised to "open up the libel laws" in order to sue organizations that criticize his actions as president.

Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images.

Now more than ever is the time to start financially supporting real news like The New York Times or The Washington Post or donating to ProPublica, a nonprofit newsroom.

As a pro tip: The Washington Post has lifted its paywall through Saturday for the inauguration.

Don't just get your news through Facebook. Now is the time to get out of your echo chamber and learn about the world through actual reporting and fact-based journalism.

7. Shut off inauguration coverage and watch the Love-A-Thon instead.

Tune in to Upworthy's Facebook page at 12:30 p.m. EST on Friday, Jan. 20, just as the inauguration is starting, to watch the Love-A-Thon, the first ever Facebook Live telethon. Its goal is to raise $500,000 for organizations like the ACLU and Planned Parenthood that stand up for marginalized communities.

That not enough for you? Did we mention that the Love-A-Thon will feature celebrities like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jane Fonda, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and more, joining together to stand up for love? It's gonna be great.

Be sure to RSVP to the event on Facebook to let all your friends know.

8. Use the #Inauguration hashtag to make your voice heard.

As usual during big events, Twitter and Facebook will be lit up with people sharing their thoughts using an official inauguration hashtag. You can jump in on the action and share your thoughts too.

Imagine if the majority of tweets were about standing up for the rights of minorities or fighting to stop climate change. That would send a pretty clear and powerful message.

9. Check out some of the protest hashtags as well.

As Trump is being sworn in, lots of people will be using Twitter to protest and send a message.

For example, the sexual assault advocacy group Force: Upsetting Rape Culture will be starting #WeWillNotBeSilent. Sexual assault survivors will be tweeting with that hashtag to stand up to the rape culture Trump represents. They'll also be tweeting with #InThisMan — to represent the ways in which Trump reminds them of their abusers.

10. Write "This is not normal" on a note and stick it somewhere you'll see it every day.

In a year or two you might forget how weird it is that a populist demagogue surrounded by hate-mongers is the president of the United States. That might lead to complacency, and complacency is dangerous.

So make a note that this is not OK. Stick it on your fridge or above your bed or on your coffee machine. For the next four years, it will serve as a reminder of what you're fighting for.

11. Reach out to someone who's also feeling anxious.

I know, right? Photo by Fox Photos/Getty Images.

If you're feeling bad, chances are you know someone else who is also feeling that way too. Now is the time to reach out to them. We're all going to need each other's help and support.

You can even start planning to take real action together. Everything's easier when you have a friend.

12. Go visit a museum.

Museums are great, aren't they? You get to learn stuff, you get to see amazing artifacts and artwork, and you get to carry around an empty water bottle all day because, seriously, is there a recycling bin anywhere in the building?

On Inauguration Day, a lot of museums are offering free admission. New York City will be opening the doors to nearly a dozen museums, and many museums in the D.C. area will be hosting events.

Find out what's around you, and soak in some culture!

13. Join an online movement and start being active in it.

If you don't live in a major city or can't travel around easily, there are lots of online social justice movements you can be a part of. Pantsuit Nation got a ton of coverage during the election, but there a lot of other smaller groups on a range of issues from body positivity to immigration reform to workers' rights that you can join.

Being active and supportive in movements is essential if you want the causes you care about to stay in the conversation.

14. Give that whole meditation thing a try.

Meditation! You've heard of it. Your one vegan friend probably does it. You have an app for it that you haven't even opened yet. Why not give it a try today?

Meditation has been shown to help ease stress and promote relaxation, and at the very least, it's nice to just take a couple minutes to breathe and be peaceful.

Photo by Niklas Halle'N/AFP/Getty Images.

15. Take the #PeoplesOath with the ACLU.

While Trump takes the oath of office, the ACLU has offered a way for citizens to take an oath of their own.

The People's Oath is for people who want to make a promise — to themselves and the world — to uphold the Constitution and stand up for the rights of everyone, especially including those whom Trump has directly threatened.

16. Write about how you're feeling.

Chances are that your thoughts are complicated, conflicted, and not easy to talk about. One great way to work it all out is to sit down and write about it. If you're comfortable doing so, share your writing on social media so that friends and family know where you stand. It might help someone you know process their own feelings, and that's a powerful thing.

There are no rules, really. Write what you're thinking. It'll help you process it and make it clearer in your head — which will make it easier to figure out what you want to do next.

"Dear diary. What the f***." Photo by Ron Sachs-Pool/Getty images.

17. Watch a movie or read a book about someone overcoming incredible obstacles to remind yourself that together, we can do anything.

"Remember the Titans," "Selma," "Hidden Figures," "Spice World," "Harry Potter" — there's no shortage of on-theme stories about people overcoming insurmountable odds. That's what the next four years are going to feel like.

Based on true stories or not, they might just give you the juice you need to make it through the day.

18. Listen to something better than the inauguration speech. Like the "I Have a Dream" speech, for example.

Maybe you're stuck at work during the inauguration with a bunch of people who want to watch it on the office TV. Maybe you're a groundskeeper at the National Mall and there's no option to ignore what's happening right in front of you.

No biggie! Just pop in your headphones and listen to something that makes you feel better, like your favorite album or podcast. Or you can listen to Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech. Hearing it might give you a glimmer of hope in the goodness of people despite what they're up against.

19. Set a reminder for the 2018 midterm elections.

Mark this date on your calendar: Nov. 6, 2018.

Everyone has their eyes set on 2020, but if you want to, you can change the government in just two short years.

On Nov. 6, 2018, at least 33 Senate seats will be up for grabs. That's a huge deal if you don't like the way the government is operating, but you can't just sit around and hope for the best. You have to spend as much time as you can learning about your candidates and their policies, and then you have to get out and vote. Try to get as many people as you can to do the same.

Photo by Darren Hauck/Getty Images.

You have two years — make the most of it.

20. Donate to a food bank.

It's easy, it'll make you feel good, and it'll help some of the millions of hungry people in the United States. Plus, it'll get you out of the house and away from social media if you want to disconnect from inauguration coverage. There's really no good reason not to.

21. Form or join a book club.

Now is the perfect time to start reading again. I know, the inauguration is at noon Eastern time on a Friday, so it's probably not the best time to hold your first book club meeting, but it is the perfect time to send an email to your friends asking them to join you in starting a book club.

Read books that will motivate you, or at least entertain you, through the next four years.

22. Consider running for office yourself or get involved in a political campaign.

If there's one thing this election has taught us, it's that literally anyone — regardless of qualifications — can become president or end up in politics.

There's lots of great information available on how to run for office. The rules tend to differ by state, district, and position, so read up on it. If you're a woman, check out Emily's List. If you're a person of color, check out LaunchProgress. We need more diversity and representation in government, and there's no reason that can't start with you.

Even if you don't decide to run, you might know someone who would make the perfect candidate. You can be their campaign manager! Sounds fun, doesn't it?

They started somewhere. Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

23. Learn about how to become part of the resistance to the Trump administration's policies.

The power is in your hands to resist the hateful and harmful administration Trump has promised to lead, and there's no better time to start learning how than as he's being sworn into office. The Resistance Manual, which was put out by several prominent Black Lives Matter activists and racial justice organization Stay Woke, is a good place to start.

Once you know what your role can be in a Trump world, help spread that message to others. And after you've done that...

24. Read up on conflict resolution and how to have difficult conversations.

The 2016 election revealed a sobering truth about the American people: We disagree fundamentally on a lot of key issues. Remember how terrified you were to have Thanksgiving dinner with your conservative cousins? Yeah, well, get used to that.

There's going to be a lot of hard conversations in our future. You're pretty much guaranteed to have a run-in with someone you disagree with. Instead of going on the defensive though, why not take some time to learn about conflict resolution and how to have productive conversations?

Yelling and screaming and fighting aren't really going to get us anywhere. Instead of watching the inauguration, pick up a book that will teach you how to engage people on a human level and work out your differences with civility.

25. Take care of yourself.

It's OK to feel what you're feeling. Existential dread isn't a sign of weakness nor does it mean you're a special snowflake. It means you're paying attention.

This election did something pretty remarkable: It made people actually grieve. That means that people are experiencing the actual process of mourning, and emotions are raw and vulnerable. Yes, even two months later.

If you care about the world, you're going to need to work hard, but you're also going to need to take care of yourself. Whatever your self-care involves — bubble baths, yoga, spa days, burying yourself in your work, laying on the floor and crying — double down on it, and don't feel bad about it.

Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images.

You need to put on your own oxygen mask before you help others, if you know what I mean.

Most importantly, try to remember that this isn't the end of the world; it's the beginning of a hard and worthy challenge.

It may seem impossible to get through the next four years, but never forget that there are always things that you can do yourself to take a stand for the things you believe in and to make the world a better place in ways big and small.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Education

How embracing the 'Empty Boat Theory' can help you keep anger and anxiety in check

The classic Taoist parable has found new life on TikTok, but its core message stays the same.

empty boat theory, taoism, buddhism, psychology, mindset, anger, anxiety, self help, mindfulness

Ancient wisdom for the modern day.

We all have moments where it feels like the world is against us. When we assume people are thinking negatively about us, we act accordingly by becoming angry or anxious. Once that mindset latches on, it can be tough to let go.

But one simple Taoist parable-turned-viral-TikTok-hack offers a gentle yet powerful reminder that we are not the main character in everyone’s story.


What is the “Empty Boat Theory”?

@sean.of.the.living The “empty boat” theory has me brain spinning lately. This is a brain hack to staying in a happier mindset. #advice #emptyboat #lifehack ♬ original sound - sean.of.the.living

Think of it as a thought experiment. Imagine yourself on a boat in the middle of a lake, as another boat drifts towards you, threatening to knock right into you. The closer this incoming vessel gets, the angrier you become.

Then, at the last second, you steer your boat out from the path of collision, only to notice that the other boat is empty. What this really puts into perspective, as TikToker @sean.of.the.living put it, is “There was never anybody to be angry with in the first place.”

“That’s life, isn’t it?” he said. “We assume everything’s about us. ‘They’re just doing that to screw me, to piss me off.’”

“Most of the time, nobody’s thinking about you.”

The Empty Boat Parable

@aliabdaal The Empty Boat: A Lesson in Letting Go A man gets furious when another boat crashes into him, shouting and ready to fight. But when the fog clears, he sees the boat is empty. No one was steering, no harm was intended. His anger disappears. Most frustrations in life are just empty boats. People are dealing with their own struggles, not trying to hurt you. Next time you feel anger rising, ask yourself – am I just reacting to an empty boat?
♬ original sound - Ali Abdaal

However, long before it was a viral brain hack on TikTok, this story taught how much self-inflicted suffering comes simply from the stories we tell ourselves about other people's attitudes towards us.

As the parable goes, a young monk (or simply a young man, depending on which version you read) hops onto a boat in hopes of finding a quiet spot to meditate. Suddenly, he is bumped by another boat. Furious, the monk opens his eyes and lashes out at the person responsible for disrupting his flow. There is, however, no one to blame. The boat is empty. Knowing there's now no one to be mad at, truly, the man's anger instantly dissipates.

The core message is that sometimes a bump is just a bump. We need not assume malicious intent, and would be better equipped to handle life’s collision with grace if we didn’t.

The Spotlight Effect

Bringing it into therapy-speak, the Empty Boat Theory/Parable also relates to the spotlight effect, which is the tendency to wrongly believe that others are mentally scrutinizing us when, in fact, they are likely not thinking about us at all.

This bias is a symptom of egocentrism. You don’t have to be a full-blown narcissist to be egocentric. We all, from time to time, consider ourselves to be the center of the universe in some way. It’s part of being an individual! But without mindfulness, we can let our egos overestimate how many eyes are actually on us at any given time, which only leads to a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

Whether you wanna call it a brain hack, ancient wisdom, or a psychological principle, we could all benefit from reminding ourselves to really pick our battles. Easier said than done in today’s world, but vital nonetheless. Here's to hoping that being aware of all the empty boats out there will lead to smoother sailing for everyone.

And if you're wondering just who’s to blame for letting that rogue boat out to wreak havoc on the water…? Well, that’s a different conversation.

This article originally appeared last year.

grass skiing, 1980s, '80s nostalgia, skiing, sports
Photo credit: YouTube screenshots via Warren Miller Entertainment

People are blown away by this '80s video of people grass skiing.

The video absolutely screams "1980s": a group of young men walk up a grassy hill with some kind of equipment on their backs, clad in short shorts and loud-looking wind breakers. But then something weird happens: as retro synthesizers blare in the background, they strap on what look like tricked-out roller skates and start gliding down a grassy hill. They perform gleeful mid-air splits, leap over tree trunks, and enjoy the editing benefits of super-cool slow-mo. What exactly is happening here?

The video, which appears to be compiled from a 1984 skiing documentary, went viral in January 2026 through an X post captioned "In the 1980s many were certain summer skiing would become a thing." People responded with a blend of confusion and nostalgia—wondering if the video was even real, pointing out how dangerous this sport looked, and asking why they'd never even heard of grass skiing to begin with.


"Well, why didn't it catch on?"

Here are some of the best reactions:

"This looks like a great way to frolic"

"This looks incredibly fun"

"LOL! The body english on the jumps is peak 80s. I wanna go back, go back, and do it all over but I can't go back I know...."

"Yep Still have mine but wouldn't dare nowadays."

"Guessing the broken arms, legs, backs, and necks convinced people it was not a great idea. Snow is far more forgiving."

"Where does one find a grassy hillside like this?"

"Wait…… HOW IS THIS NOT A THING?!!!! Somebody make them now!!!!! I swear I’ll buy the first pair!!!!"

"Looks fun until you faceplant right into dirt"

"80s seemed like so much fun. I’m a 90s kid and that was fun too but 80s feels like it was more raw"

"Fun fact: crashing hurts less and causes less damage in the snow."

"Well, why didn't it catch on?"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The history of grass skiing

If you're like most people in the comments, you'd probably never seen this footage, which appears to be taken from the Warren Miller documentary Ski Country. According to The Ski Journal, that film "marked the height of grass skiing in the United States," 21 years after the sport was invented by Josef Kaiser in Germany. They note an average pair of these skis "consist of 192 rolls and some 1,500 individual pieces," with variations depending on the discipline and application.

The ultra niche design, The Ski Journal writes, is part of the activity’s "downfall" in the U.S. "The skis are made to be carved, and so snow-plowing and hockey-stopping aren't possible," they note, "meaning options for stopping are limited to falling or running out of momentum at the bottom of the hill." Nonetheless, the activity did have a brief moment in the sun. It's reportedly been Stateside since 1966, when it first hit Bryce Mountain Resort in Virginia. In 2024, SnowTrex Magazine notes that competitions are still held in Europe.

If you want to learn more about grass skiing, check out the detailed page at the International Ski and Snowboard Federation website.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen Z

Gen X designated the 'worst grandparents' by Millennials

Generation X, typically the children of Baby Boomers born between the years of 1965-1980 tend to have a complicated reputation depending on who you ask. Some view them as a feral generation never to be spoken of poorly without consequence, while others view them as innovators pushing us into the future. But in recent years, Gen Xers have been dubbed the "worst grandparents" by social media users.

This multi-year conversation started when a video went viral calling Gen X out for being "terrible" grandparents, claiming that they never want to help with grandchildren. It didn't take long before other Millennials piled on to air their own grievances about Gen X grandparents. Most people criticizing the "new grandparents" were genuinely perplexed as to how they did not want to be more involved in the lives of their grandchildren.


Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen Z Family baking fun in the kitchen.Photo credit: Canva

Kylie Muse reveals in a video that she felt neglected by her Gen X parents growing up, saying, "It's quite a common theme for Gen X parents to be neglectful in some capacity and it's just crazy to me how more of them haven't learned from the past 20 to 30 years, instead of these grandparents seeing their kids having kids as an opportunity to restore the health in their relationships with their kids by showing up and helping them during the hardest transition of their lives, they would rather double down and compromise their relationship with that next generation. All for the sake of hyper-individualism and pride."

@kylies.muse

Gen x grandparents and their beloved empty nest 🥴 just say you hate having a family 😭 #grandparents #grandparentsoftiktok

The critique coming from the younger generation is not lost on Gen X, and they started coming out in force to respond with such vigor you'd think John Hughes had just announced the re-release of The Breakfast Club. It would seem that some of the people complaining of the lack of involvement have not considered that Gen X could have valid reasons for not immediately jumping in to take on grandparenting in the way some expect. A man by the name of John S. Blake gives a candid look into why Gen X was neglected as children and, in turn, became hype-independent at an early age.

"As a Gen X who's been on this earth long enough to have some hindsight I can tell you this, being independent at a young age is not a flex, what it actually means is capitalism is so brutal that our parents were forced to neglect their own children to stay alive. My generation was struggling so much that we had to leave our children unattended in order to produce enough so that we could afford to exist," Blake says.

@blackfluidpoet

Replying to @ellens0061 #foryoupage #homealone #fyp #foryou

But perhaps one of the most heart wrenching explanations comes from an elder Millennial who goes by the name Amazing Dea. In response to another Millennial who asks about Gen X being let off the hook, Dea shares, "Being as though you look like you might be a younger Millennial, let me go ahead and enlighten you. Generation X and older Millennials had to live through more than just this pandemic. We had the crack epidemic, we had the AIDS epidemic and let me tell you something, it was scary as f***."

Dea went on to explain that there were apartment complexes burned due to high populations of people with AIDS living in them and how they would witness people go from being completely normal to being addicted to crack in a matter of weeks. It seems that depending on socioeconomic status, Gen Xers lived wildly different lives with the common theme being growing up entirely too fast at an extremely young age.

Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen Z Three generations smiling by the sea.Photo credit: Canva

Another person kindly breaks down the confusion over why Gen X isn't rising to the occasion of being award-winning grandparents. In response to the criticism she replies, "We grew up in a different time, first of all. A lot of us, meaning me, Gen X, I was raised by boomers. A lot of us did not get raised by our grandparents. We were like the feral kids, like by 7 and 9 years old we were actually babysitting our brothers and sisters, alright."

The woman explains further in the video that Gen X doesn't want to raise their grandchildren or simply be babysitters, that there's a difference between expecting grandparents to be involved and expecting them to be babysitters.

@that1crazy72

Let’s take it a step further. You share DNA with your grandkids they are part of you not everyone gets the privilege of being a grandparent so if you are one take that as a blessing #genxgrandparents

In many of the response videos shared by Gen Xers, they certainly seem to love their grandchildren and children alike, but there's a discrepancy in expectation. The consensus of the forgotten generation seems to be that they had adult responsibilities much too early, were exposed to adult life experiences at a young age, and were often left to their own devices for long periods of time while also being told that their voices didn't matter.

While the argument seems to be around their lack of involvement as grandparents, they appear to be saying that they want to enjoy the freedom they didn't have as children, while being valued as a person and not a babysitter. In many follow up videos, Gen Xers gushed over their grandchildren and how they loved when they were around. It's just that they draw the line at raising them. Maybe for some, their experiences with their own childhood isn't enough to move Gen X out of the "worst grandparents" category, but for others it provides much needed context.

This article originally appeared in June.

Health

Caregivers at senior living home share the 3 hard truths they wish everyone knew

"Sometimes people forget how much we love the elderly we work with."

caregiving, caregivers, elderly, senior living, senior citizens
Photo credit: Canva

A caregiver helps their patient.

While caring for the elderly can be extremely rewarding, it comes with a specific set of challenges that aren't often discussed. Delivering high-quality care is vital for anyone in this position, but this must come with a level of patience many of us might take for granted.

While visiting my own mother in the senior living home where she resides, I was able to sit down for heart-to-hearts with a few of the caregivers who work for various residents. They opened up in a way I found beautifully vulnerable and surprising. Here are their stories. (At their request, I have changed their names.)


Setting boundaries with families

caregiving, caregivers, nursing, family dynamics, elderly, senior living Caregiver discusses a patient with another family member.Photo credit: Canva

A woman named Veronica shared that she often feels stuck in the middle of family disputes. "I don't like it when I'm just trying to do my job and take care of clients and I've got 20 people calling me. Sisters, wives, brothers, daughters, sons, and even best friends. Everyone has an opinion. I wish they'd have family meetings and decide what to do without sticking me in the middle."

Another woman, Anne, added her two cents, saying, "Family dynamics are tricky. I want to respect how hard it is to age on everyone in the family, without feeling like I'm inserting myself in the drama."

They want to be asked about their day

caregiving, caregivers, burnout, nursing, elderly, senior citizens A caregiver takes a break. Photo by Vladimir Fedotov on Unsplash

Anne shares that she sometimes feels invisible. "Sometimes I wish they would ask how things are in my life. What my hopes and wishes are. I would like it if they understood that sometimes I need a day off, or that my body hurts sometimes."

On a resource site for caregivers, one of the helpful tips is finding the balance between helping others and self-care. This means paying attention to their own mental and physical health needs. "Maintaining your health is crucial for being able to care effectively for your loved one. Take care of your own health by focusing on nutrition, exercise, and sufficient rest. Regular self-care routines can help you stay strong and resilient in the face of caregiving demands."

Mental Health America also has a few articles dedicated to self-care as a caregiver. "If you cannot remember the last time you slept properly, ate adequately, exercised weekly, or did not feel guilty about taking a sick day, then you're probably feeling the impacts of caregiving on your mental and physical health. Ask yourself: 'What could I do to replenish myself?'"

They go on to give tips: "Is there any small action that could improve my life or make me feel more content with my present state? If you're treating yourself fairly, the answer should be yes. Everyone always has some need that could be better fulfilled—caregivers are no exception."

Hard to say goodbye

caregiving, caregiver, elderly, senior citizens, loss, grief Elderly people holding hands. Photo by Dulcey Lima on Unsplash

Sometimes, especially after a caregiver has worked with a person for more than a month or two, they develop a true bond. While the connection is genuinely satisfying, it can make the loss of that patient even harder.

Mark, who has been working with senior citizens for two decades, explains how devastating the losses can feel. "I worked with a woman named Evelyn for seven years. She passed away at the age of 94. It's especially hard because when you're in this business, you might have three clients pass in the span of a few weeks."

Veronica added, "Sometimes people forget how much we love the elderly we work with."

These sentiments come back to decompression. Processing just one loss can be difficult. Having to do so for multiple people in a short amount of time takes extra healing time for everyone.

The resource site also notes how important it is to take breaks when needed. "Caregiving can be overwhelming, so taking respite breaks regularly is important. These breaks can help prevent burnout and give you time to recharge. Schedule time for yourself to engage in activities that you enjoy and that help you relax."

vegan, bacon, habits, food, vegetarian, eating

The "vegan but bacon" message went viral.

Most of us have things we want to do in life, goals we want to achieve, but find that all kinds of obstacles get in our way. Sometimes those obstacles are external things we can't control, and sometimes they are internal things we aren't consciously aware of that hold us back.

For instance, certain mindsets can keep us from making progress, from negative thinking to creating rules for ourselves that don't actually exist. One example of the latter was brilliantly challenged by a vegan content creator named Liz, who had someone tell her that they'd go vegan if it weren't for their love of bacon. Her response was powerfully simple: "So do it. Go vegan but bacon."


Liz, Tiktok, video, viral, content creator, vegan TikTok · liz 🌱🥕🪱🤎 www.tiktok.com

The TikTok post was viewed nearly three million times, topped only by her similar post that said the same thing, but with cheese instead of bacon. Lots of people in the comments of both posts shared that they eat vegan 95% of the time, eat vegan only at home but not at other people's houses, or that they have one specific non-vegan food they eat but stick to plant-based foods otherwise. As Liz says, "Harm reduction is harm reduction," and most people do things a step at a time, not all at once.

The idea that you don't have to take an all-or-nothing approach to a certain diet or lifestyle was a revolutionary one for people who struggle with perfectionism. And, as another creator pointed out, this theory can apply to lots of areas of our lives.

"Stop making arbitrary rules for yourself," wrote Addie the Optimist on TikTok. "It prevents you from actually reaching your goals." She said if you don't have 100% of your energy to put in at the gym, go to the gym anyway and give 50%. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

The truth is, there are very few actual rules in life. Aside from laws of the land and whatever spiritual laws someone might feel are obligatory, the "rules" we tend to live by are generally optional and largely arbitrary. Three meals a day? Totally made up. Wearing workout clothes to exercise? Genuinely optional. You can just do things. You rarely have to do them any particular way, and you rarely have to do them all the way.

Giving yourself permission to do something imperfectly is incredibly freeing, and may actually lead to greater progress than perfectionism, as many people shared in the comments:

"I was like 'I need to go the gym but I only like cardio' then I realized I can do just the cardio and no one will come arrest me."

"Sometimes washing most of the dishes is washing enough."

"Half-assing is the stepping stone to whole-assing. 🙂↕️"

"If you only have 10% to give and you give 10% you have just given 100%."

"Sloppy success beats perfect failure!"

"Perfect is the enemy of done."

"Once you get out of the all or nothing mindset the possibilities are endless."

vegan, habits, food, vegetarian, eating You don't have to take an all or nothing approach to change. Photo credit: Canva

As Addie said in her video, "You don't have to be imprisoned by your own rules." That's easier said than done for some of us, perhaps, but seeing a mindset shift demonstrated like this can sometimes help us snap out of our own self-limiting thoughts. Additionally, having a short slogan to remind ourselves to ditch all-or-nothing thinking can also be helpful. So, the next time you find yourself feeling like you have to do something all the way or not at all, just tell yourself "vegan but bacon," and give yourself permission to follow your own rules.