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2 magazine covers sparked an important discussion about gender targeting in the media.

'We all need to do better.'

There's something very wrong with the difference between these two magazine covers.

No

A photo posted by @amyschumer on

In the image above, which was shared by comedian Amy Schumer, the Boys' Life magazine cover shows its readers a future filled with seemingly limitless career opportunities while the Girls' Life magazine cover boils its readers dreams down to first kisses and looking pretty.

Both issues were released in September 2016, proving that, despite how far gender equality has come, there are still plenty of places peddling these outdated, stereotypical gender expectations.

It's far more than just disappointing. It's having a negative effect on scores of impressionable young girls.

When graphic designer Katherine Young saw the side-by-side covers, she decided to redesign the Girls' Life cover — with some key changes.

Images via Girls' Life magazine and Katherine Young, used with permission.

Young replaced Disney actress Olivia Holt with Olivia Hallisey, a teen scientist who won Google's Science Fair in 2015 with her invention of a $25 Ebola test. Instead of hair tips and fall fashion trends, Young's cover advertises dream careers and ways girls can help out in their communities.

In about 10 minutes, she gave the magazine cover the best makeover ever. Here's a close-up of her work:

Image via Katherine Young, used with permission.

Young put the side-by-side photos on her blog with the caption "We can do better," and when she posted the Photoshopped job on Twitter, it quickly went viral.

Obviously Young isn't the only one who's ever felt personally victimized (to borrow a phrase from "Mean Girls") by magazine covers promoting tired gender stereotypes like these.

"I had real body issues all the way up through my mid twenties," Young explains in an email. "I would barely eat in front of my friends as a teenager because I was embarrassed that my jean size was too big. I thought I was less valuable as an individual because I wasn't a 'pretty girl' as defined by society and pop culture standards."

Many studies have found that girls' self-esteem drops dramatically during their pre-teen years far more than boys. There are a number of reasons why this happens, but one glaring factor is that girls feel much more judgmental of their changing bodies than boys. It's not hard to wonder why that might be.  

Before girls even reach puberty, they're flooded with images of what society thinks the ideal women should look like.

Image via Seventeen Magazine.

Sure, boys experience this kind of messaging directed at them as well, but there are a lot more male role models in a much wider array of body types, ages, and jobs than there are for girls (thanks, media's sexist double standard).

After being constantly bombarded with messages on how to dress, what hairstyles look good, and exercise tips to achieve a "great butt," it's not surprising that teen and pre-teen girls often have such low self-esteem or that studies show that the media continues to take its toll as girls grow up.

"It does matter and it effects us more than we realize," writes Young.

That being said, there are examples of the media starting to do better.

I am so beyond excited and overwhelmed and happy and astonished and of course, SHOOK, to announce that I am the newest face of @covergirl. First ever male ambassador for the brand and I am so honored and excited to be working with such an iconic brand. I started my Instagram one year ago to inspire others and as an artistic outlet to challenge myself creatively. I truly hope that this shows that anyone and everyone can wear makeup and can do anything if you work hard. I can't wait to share with you all what we have in store, but trust me when I say it's gonna be real good. 😊💕 make sure you check out @covergirl's page for more info coming soon, and my new bff @katyperry as well for a cute pic! 😉 Thank you all so much. This would not be possible without all of you.

A photo posted by James Charles (@jamescharles) on

Teen Vogue magazine has been running some hard-hitting news stories lately about the state of our political world. Average-size and plus-size women are being featured on fashion and lifestyle magazine covers. And men have even started becoming the spokespeople for brands traditionally geared toward women.

Bit by bit, the media landscape is changing, but there's still a long, long way to go.

Do female-oriented magazines need to get rid of all their makeup tips and "match your style to this celebrity" sections? No. Makeup and clothes can be fun for many women. Gender-targeted magazines that continue to reinforce tired stereotypes, however, shouldn't be so verypolarizing.

For example, lots of men (straight and gay) enjoy doing their hair and putting on makeup and nail polish too. If men's magazines spoke to that, perhaps those men wouldn't experience as much judgment as they do?

Inclusivity and confidence should always win out over snark and skin-deep, stereotypical standards. Hopefully the media will accept the challenge to go further in that direction and continue to do better in 2017.

Culture

Dad’s 5-year-old daughter's hilarious answers to his questions have the internet screaming

“Do I have to change my name if I get married? Call me Shredder.”

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


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His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


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This article originally appeared four years ago.

From Your Site Articles
comedy
Family

Experts plead with parents to stop cracking eggs on their toddlers' heads. No, really.

Kids' emotional reactions shouldn't be used as viral fodder.

ponce_photography/Canva

The "egg crack challenge" on TikTok is more harmful than it is funny.

There are plenty of viral videos involving children that are perfectly harmless. Kids are naturally hilarious, and it's not unusual for parents to capture their wee ones saying or doing something adorably funny.

At Upworthy, we often share cute viral kid videos, like the Italian preschooler who gesticulates like an old Sicilian grampa or the 4-year-old snowboarder in a dinosaur suit or the 3-year-old with incredible moves dancing alongside choreographed dancers. These are kiddos just doing what they do—genuine, wholesome kid moments caught on video.

Sometimes we share viral kid videos and stories that are clearly set up, often with some kind of a positive parenting lesson included. But such videos are a far cry from a viral TikTok trend that involves parents cracking eggs on their children's heads and recording their reactions.

The "egg crack challenge" involves parents cooking with their little ones—almost always a fun activity for kids—but when it comes time to break open an egg, the parent unexpectedly cracks it on the child's head instead of the side of the bowl.

The child's stunned/confused/nervous reactions sometimes result in crying, sometimes laughter, and the unpredictable nature of it is what seems to be entertaining people.

But it's not a harmless "prank"—not when it's done to a small child who doesn't understand what's happening.

I'm not going to share any of the videos here because the whole point is to rack up views and I don't want to contribute to the problem. But let's look at this trend from the perspective of a little kid for a moment. You're just learning about the world, and realizing it can be a scary and unpredictable place sometimes. Your place of security is your home with your parents who provide safety and protection. You're not sure what you can rely on out there, but your parents are your source of stability.

You've observed your parents cooking, so you kind of know what to expect. You use a cup to measure. You use a spoon to stir. You crack and open eggs before they go into the bowl.

You've never seen someone crack an egg on someone's head. You've been taught that hitting someone, especially on the head, with or without an object is wrong. How do you make sense of your parent suddenly turning and hitting you on the head with an egg in the middle of cooking?

Children don't process things the way adults do, but even most adults would immediately be like "WTF?!" if someone suddenly used their head for an egg-cracking surface. For a young child, it's not just a WTF moment—it's a message: "The thing I thought was predictable actually isn't. The person I thought was reliable actually isn't. The rules I was taught don't always apply."

It's foundational-level confusing and could potentially mess with a child's sense of trust. All for some Internet likes.

Dan Wuori, Ph.D., Senior Director of Early Learning at the Hunt Institute, shared some thoughts on this and other potentially damaging parent "challenges," such as inviting a kindergartener to meet their teacher virtually and having a scary-looking person on the screen.

"The years of early childhood are a time during which trust and attachment are (ideally) formed," Wuori wrote on X (formerly Twitter). "With love, attention, and responsive caregiving, young children learn that their world is safe. They develop self-worth and self-esteem. These are prerequisites to both learning and healthy development. But the key to developing trust is consistency."

"And the behaviors in these videos—even if rare and anomalous—serve only to undermine healthy attachment between parent and child," he added. "They provide children with data points that suggest their parents can be unexpectedly and arbitrarily cruel. They are a violation of hard-earned trust.

"Some will argue that these are just jokes in good fun. They aren’t. They are the deliberate infliction of trauma, however brief, for the amusement of strangers. It should go without saying that this isn’t good for children."

Pediatric occupational therapist Amanda Mathers shared a TikTok of her own explaining why the trend isn't a good idea from a child development standpoint.

"You are teaching them that hitting someone in the head, hard, with an object, is acceptable and funny," she said.

@yourpediatricot

I know as parents you never want to harm your child. This post is meant to educate, for wny parwnts who were wanting to try this, or tor parents who already did this rrend and fan go back wnd have a conversation with their child about what happened. ••• Toddlers brains at this age don’t yet fully comprehend jokes like this and although they may laugh… their brain is thinking “WHAT THE HECK?!” ••• Skip this trend parents, it’ll save you in the long run 🤍 #eggcrackchallenge #eggcrackprank #eggcrackreaction #emotionalintelligence #raisingconfidentchildren #raisingkids #donttrythisathome #pediatricot

She even went so far as to call it bullying, which is a solid point when you consider that some of these videos include children crying in embarrassment, pain, or confusion and their parent laughing in their faces. Some might think they're teaching kids about joking around and being silly, but this isn't a healthy way to teach that. It's cruel.

Parents in these videos may not realize how the thing they see as fun might be harmful, which is why it's good to try to see it from a child's perspective.

But a good rule to follow in general is not to purposefully create an emotional reaction in a child as a way to go viral on social media. Stick to capturing kids just being their normal, adorable, hilarious selves—there's plenty of entertainment in that.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
child development
Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Pets

Cat owner put a first person camera on their collar and accidentally filled the world with delight

Mr. Kitters' point of view is highly entertaining.

@mr.kitters.the.cat/TikTok

We get to see the world through Mr. Kitters' eyes.

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a cat? To watch the world from less than a foot off the ground, seeing and hearing things humans completely miss, staring out the window for hours while contemplating one of your nine lives?

Well, thanks to one person, we need wonder no more—at least about the what-they're-seeing part.

The TikTok channel Mr. Kitters the Cat (@mr.kitters.the.cat) gives us a cat's-eye view of the world with a camera attached to Mr. Kitters' collar. The result is an utterly delightful POV experience that takes us through the daily adventuring of the frisky feline as he wanders the yard.

In a video titled "Spicy cats," which has more than 74 million views on TikTok, we begin with the cutest cat sneeze ever. Then we hear Mr. Kitters' meow as we walk with him through the grass before the scene switches to a thrilling, yowling cat chase he witnesses across the yard (while tucking himself even more securely under the bush he's in).

The best is seeing his kitty paws as he walks and then digs in the mulch. And there's apparently something very exciting that needs to be pounced on right along a chain link fence.

Watch and enjoy:

@mr.kitters.the.cat

Spicy cats 🌶️ #fyp #cat #meow

The commenters made their delight known.

"I love how he saw the cat fight and was like that's not my business today," wrote one person.

"WHEN HE DIGS WITH HIS LIL PAWS," declared another.

"People: Cats only meow at humans." Mr Kitters -Meows at everything-" wrote another.

And of course, countless people responded simply to the sneeze with "Bless you."

Mr. Kitters has other POV videos as well. This one demonstrates how chatty he is and shows his black cat buddy as well.

@mr.kitters.the.cat

“What do you want?” “Nothing!” #fyp #cat #meow

It really sounds like he says, "Let me in," doesn't it?

And this "extreme sports" video is riveting.

@mr.kitters.the.cat

Extreme sports 💀 #fyp

It's funny how something as simple as putting a camera around the neck of a cat can draw in tens of millions of people. We're all so curious about the lives of the creatures we see every day, and the adorable quirkiness of cat behavior is a big part of why we keep them as companions in the first place. Seeing the world through their point of view is just one more way we can enjoy and learn about our pet friends.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
cats
Pop Culture

Woman asks grocery apps to include gender option after a guy got 80 percent of her order wrong

She wants customers to be able to choose the gender of their shopper.

Photo credit: Canva

Are male shoppers really that bad?

“If you are not the CEO of DoorDash or Instacart, keep scrolling. This is not for you,” began a clearly frustrated woman, named Sammi, in her TikTok video. Apparently, Sammi had just made a grocery order, and her male shopper had allegedly gotten four out of five items completely wrong—causing her to “beg” for these apps to begin allowing customers to choose the sex of their delivery driver.

“I am begging you to make an update on your app where I can request a female shopper,” she said, going on to share the saga of what baffling mistakes were made.

First, there was the half gallon of store-brand milk she ordered, versus the quarter gallon of Tuscan milk she received, which she found hard to believe the store would be completely out of the item she requested.

There was also the Chopped Caesar Salad Kit she ordered, and got the Ultimate Caesar Salad Kit instead. This she was expecting, since you have to look “slightly harder” at the specific wording on the package, and “a man would never…he would just pick the one he sees first."

@sammiellenclare A woman would quite literally never #fyp #foryou #instacart #doordash #groceries #haul #fy #fypシ ♬ original sound - Sammiellenclare


Similarly, Sammi requested mozzarella pearls, which require a bit more sleuthing, and got a log of mozzarella instead.

This next one is pretty egregious. Sammi also requested Land O’Lakes Garlic and Herb Butter, and even told the male shopper to refund the item if it wasn’t available rather than finding a replacement. And yet, the shopper still went ahead and replaced it with Land O’Lakes Canola Oil Butter.

Thankfully, the shopper did get the store brand Italian seasoning right. Phew. Plus Sammi did get a refund for her items. But nonetheless, she still thinks customers should be allowed to screen for female shoppers who would be more likely to do the job right. Flustered, she even said, “I just think we should make it to where men cannot be shoppers for Instacart or Doordash but that would be discrimination.”

These lamentations aren’t exactly new. The general consensus via the internet is that male Instacart shoppers tend to be pretty dreadful.



Plenty of folks in the comments of Sammi’s video shared their own terrible experiences.

“A man substituted my ground beef for a watermelon and I’m still confused about it,” said one person.

Another added, “I ordered a 400 gram bag of pistachios and got a 1kg tub of jelly beans.”

A few women even shared the outrageous substitutes they received when ordered menstrual products.

“I ordered tampons & was substituted white mushrooms. I have been telling this story for like 4 years because I am still not over it,” one viewer wrote.

“I one time ordered overnight always pads and ended up with a package of napkins so I unfortunately feel your pain,” another echoed.

On the flip side, many had stories of female shoppers who went above and beyond, paying attention to the little details and putting in a little extra care.

“I had a lady who once asked if I wanted parmesan because it was on sale and she thought it would go well with what else I had ordered,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “I had a woman throw in a get well card (with her own money) because she could tell all the items I was ordering were for being sick: chicken noodle soup ingredients, and a ton of medicines. Elite.”

Still another said, “My last lady shopper messaged me concerned that the grapes didn’t look good and she didn’t want me to have bad ones. Meanwhile the dude brought me expired lunch meat.”

media.giphy.com

While this situation is certainly frustrating, and many, many women can share stories of even their husbands or boyfriends making headscratching interpretations of a grocery list (or just asking them a million questions over text messages), there might be more to it than that. As Mike Romagnoli, an Instacart shopper in the Toronto, Canada area since 2019, told Huffpost, it might be mostly due to a language barrier—since many are also immigrants.

“I have watched guys at checkout just refund a dozen items they couldn’t find instead of talking to a customer about possible replacements,” Romagnoli shared.

So, yes, maybe there’s a bit of weaponized incompetence (male shoppers feigning ignorance to avoid working “slightly harder”), or maybe this points to how men and women are often different about looking at specific details, or maybe this is a result of society not ingraining grocery shopping skills into boys. But there are also probably other factors at play too. So potentially penalizing good male shoppers perhaps isn’t the most effective solution. But the frustrations are nonetheless valid.

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