upworthy
More

17 people with 'I want to talk to your manager' parents reveal their most embarrassing moments.

17 people with 'I want to talk to your manager' parents reveal their most embarrassing moments.
via Shutterstock

It might be embarrassing to have your parents pay to cheat your way into a top college, but having your parents yell at an innocent retail or restaurant worker is definitely up there.

Even though you'd think that most people would have a sense of empathy and be kind to people in the trenches of department stores and restaurants, most of the time people who have had the luxury of never working these jobs feel entitled.

Whether it's throwing a temper tantrum about there not being enough lemons in a free tap water, trying to cut the line or complain their way into free stuff — it's always something.


When a recent Reddit thread asked, "Children of 'I want to talk to your manager' parents, what has been your most embarrassing experience?" the internet was ready to share their most cringe-worthy, secondhand shameful moments.

1. You mom needs anger management, "elsoov."

I was 13 when this happened. My mom had made a reservation at a hotel for a trip, but when she got there the lady said there was some error with the reservation and that my mom’s payment didn’t go through, so the lady offered us a double bed room for a discount.

Rather than just taking the room, thanking the lady, and leaving, my mom decided the best course of action would be to scream, in the middle of a hotel lobby, “NOBODY IS GOING ANYWHERE TIL I GET MY FUCKING ROOM!” She then proceeded to pester the lady, who clearly couldn’t do anything about it, until eventually she called the police on my mom for public disturbance. Mortifying.

2. Napkins are important, "snopal."

Not my parent but grandparent. When I was around 10 years old my grandmother went out and got us (her, my brother, and me) McDonald's. We got home and we didn't have napkins in the bags. No big deal, right? We have paper towels and napkins in the house, also me and my brother are pretty good with not making any messes while we eat.

Nope. Grandmother got us in the car, drove back to McDonald's, demanded a manager, and screeched about how upset she was that we didn't get any napkins. I wanted to just melt into the floor and disappear. It's just napkins, Nanny....

3. Oh my god, "solus-esse-nolo."

My Mum demanded to see a café's hygiene certificate when she saw an employee go from cutting cake in the kitchen to handling money at the till, even though the real problem is going the other way.

4. The floor is gross, though, "ohhellnoxd."

When I was a young child on a long distance flight my mother let me and my brother sleep on the floor. For safety reasons the flight attendants told my mother that we were not allowed to sleep on the floor. She started to argue with the flight attendants who then turned to the pilots.

The pilots threatened to turn the plane around unless we get up from the floor but she continued to argue. The pilots announced they were about to turn around because of my mother, so all the passengers got pissed. Eventually she caved in when she had all passengers and flight crew on a Boeing 747 against her..

5. Oh no, "psychswot."

I was with my parents on vacation and the hotel put charges on the bill by accident. My mom marched to the front desk and demanded to see the manager. There was a long line, but she cut right in front of it. The manager wasn't very helpful, probably because she was rude.

So my mom, went to all the other customers in line and told them that the hotel was a scam and they were ripping us off with fake charges. She made a scene. The hotel called the police and we were escorted off the premises by actual cops. I died inside.

6. Ok this sounds like low key assault of a minor, "cok3noic3."

Ugh, my dad. He can be such a prick if you get his order wrong, it could be fast food or a nice sit down restaurant. He often yells at wait staff if they “undercook” his steak. It has to be well done or he claims to have lost his appetite.

One time we went to Burger King when I was younger and we sat down to eat. He took one bite of his burger, spit it out and immediately started bitching about it being under cooked. He cut in front of everyone in line to yell at the cashier, then he asked who was the cook. when the cook appeared, he launched his burger hitting the poor kid directly in the face with a lidless burger. He’s now banned for life from Burger King

7. Absolutely not, "BigDaddy0790."

My mom asked me to call her a taxi via an app.

She ended up calling me multiple times complaining about how the driver didn’t use the route she thought was best (she never owned a car and doesn’t know how to drive), even though the guy just used the best possible route the navigator suggested.

She ended up getting out halfway and using subway. The driver proceeded to call me in tears, completely shocked, unsure of what he did so wrong, and apologizing. I felt like total shit.

I never called her a cab again.

8 . WTF, "pootermun."

I might be late but my dad once asked the guy at the Verizon wireless store to give him his own Social Security number because he asked for my dads. My dad walked out afterwards with some strangers SS number on a post it. I was a silent bystander because I really wanted my first phone.

9. Damn, "johnlonger."

My father consistently returns food to grocery stores when he is unsatisfied with the quality. The worst is when he returns the 2lb bricks of cheddar cheese because they went moldy "before they should have"

10. This is probably the worst one, "sixstringhook."

Not me, but my sister in law. Her step dad and mom took the family out to eat at a Red Lobster. They get there and it is super busy. So the step dad walks up to the host and says "Yes, we have a reservation".

The problem is, Red Lobster (or at least that one) doesnt take reservations. The host explains this and says it is going to be 20 min wait for seating. Her step dad FLIPPED out and started screaming that he had called 3 hours before hand and made a reservation. The host politely told him this was not possible as they do not take reservations (again).

He continues to scream at the guy, and says he wants to talk to a manager. So the manager comes out and she tells him the same thing. They dont take reservations, so its not possible that he had made one. He continues to cause a scene and people started leaving just to get away from this toxic guy. Finally, the manager says, "Fine, we will put you ahead of everyone else that has been patiently waiting their turn". He says "Thank you". They get seated.

Once they get to the table and the waitress walks away, he slyly winks and says to my brother and the rest of the family "THAT is how you get things done. I wasnt going to wait 20 min".

My brother refused to eat or order for fear of getting food that had been spit on.

11. Wow, "RixxiRose."

My MIL is truly a Karen. Going out to eat with her is always a nightmare. Her orders have 14 special requests, but she's not at all kind about it, she is defensive from the get go like you're an idiot who's already screwed the order up. "Nooo dressing. Not on the side. Nothing. Completely dry. Do you understand? I will send it back!"

The one I will never forget though was dinner at Joe's Crab shack. In case you've never been it's one of those places that every so often plays a song that the entire staff is required to drop everything & do a little synchronized dance to. It's quick, everyone gets a little kick out of it, it's part of the fun.

Now my MIL Karen knew this, it's not like she'd never been here. But apparently she was not willing to wait 2 extra minutes for her dry salad, so she starts going off as soon as the dancing starts. She gets a manager, who clearly knows Karen well & offers a quick apology (for doing their job), a discount & her dry ass salad. But Karen's not completely satisfied. She tells us that even though dinner for our party of 8 is on her, she's not tipping the waitress 1 penny. She proceeds to bitch.....loudly...the rest of the meal & antagonize our waitress over petty shit.

I worked too many years in customer service & ya know, I'm a decent human being. I made sure to get my bill separate so I could tip for the entire table. I wrote a quick note on the receipt, something along the lines of "Way to stay positive even when the customer's a jerk".

I was a little afraid of the wrath of Karen, it was one of my first interactions with her too, but when the waitress came & hugged me, Karen & I locked eyes. She knew. I didn't care. Don't be a cunt Karen.

12. Gotta have A1, "Streaks-"

When I was 6 my mom took my brothers and I out to Golden Corral for dinner. She went up to the buffet, got a steak, and came back to the table. She’s an avid A1 steak sauce fan and cannot, i repeat, cannot eat steak without it.

She poured out the A1 onto her plate, tasted it, and was instantly horrified. She proceeded to pour out the Golden Corral Steak Sauce right next to the A1 and it matched perfectly.

Outraged, she called over a waitress and eventually the manager showing them her little experiment and how she exposed the Great Steak Sauce Fraud of 06.

My brothers and I were scarred for the rest of our lives. I still have nightmares about it.

13. This is so sad, "FuzzyElf47."

The number of cashiers my father demanded the manager fire because they were too slow, rang us up wrong, etc, including one they actually did. I'll never forget that girl taking her Home Depot apron off and walking away sobbing. To his credit (I guess?) my dad seemed surprised that it actually worked, must have felt at least some level of guilt and never did it again.

14. You're an angel, "Lurkist."

I don't like going to restaurants with her, she thinks that because she worked as a waitress for a year 35 years ago, it gives her the right to act like a complete asshole to them. She also thinks not tipping them will encourage them to "get their act together". Jokes on you mom, I always find our server after seated, give them a $20.00 and apologize in advanced for your poor behavior.

15. A+, "n8spear."

My mom used to run restaurants. My step father used to be a chef in high end restaurants and is the kind of guy who expects to be treated better than he is currently being treated, regardless of whatever that treatment is. They are not fun to go out to eat with.

The “most embarrassing experience” is actually their most embarrassing experience, one where I Embarrassed them.

My wife and I pride ourselves on being a “relief” table when we go out to eat. Both of us have been servers, and there’s always the counterpoint to the difficult table, that’s us. Barring horrible service or bad food, we are super easy customers, tip well, and try to have a good time with our server. Furthermore, we just treat people nicely. So you can imagine our distain when my parents act like they’re fucking royalty at a dinner service.

My wife and I went out to dinner with them. They were being particularly tough. My mom was acting like she was Gordon Ramsey analyzing the business, critiquing everything down to the amount of bubbles in her seltzer (“looks like it’s time to change the CO2”) My step dad was getting more and more heated over stupid things like the amount of ice in his drink and how the waitress didn’t top off his water, that he was barely sipping on, fast enough.

It came to a head when my step father ordered a steak medium well, it came back medium well, and for some reason he changed his mind that he wanted it medium rare while it was cooking and they didn’t read his mind, so he gave attitude, as did my mom. They jumped really quickly to demanding free stuff.

I’m an adult and this may be the first time they realized this. I interrupted in front of the server and said something like “really? This is what you’re doing. That’s what you ordered...” I turned to the server and said “We do not need anything comped.”

I then pulled out my wallet and handed her my card and said “this is for the bill. We’ll happily wrap up with what we have here. I’m very sorry for their behavior, you’re doing great.” Then the line that stung them so deep they still bring it up years later ...”I was taught to treat people nicely, a lesson that seems to be forgotten. Thank you.”

They turned red, the server walked away, I looked down and cut my steak, and didn’t say a word. They were so flabbergasted that the meal was virtually silent except me asking my step father how his steak was a few minutes later. I signed the check, gave a big tip, and we walked out and said goodbyes.

They’ve been nicer to servers each time that we’ve gone out since.

16. Damn, "s8erguyssk8er."

My mom has been this person regularly throughout my life but I do have one positive story with it.

She and I went to eat at portillo's when I was a teenager and we sat in the back of the restaurant where it was more private so we can eat in peace. About 10 minutes into our meal two people come into the empty area and sit down two tables away from us. Turns out it was a manager and an employee that was getting written up. the manager was being a complete asshat towards the employee criticizing and belittling them.

My mom put down her food and walked over and started yelling at the manager for being such an asshole. she went on a rant about how rude and wrong it was of him to do this in front of the public two tables away from customers and really let him have it. She demanded the phone number of the manager above him and we left after she received it. I was pretty embarrassed at the time but as I got older I realized that she was standing up for that employee and how wrong that manager really was. I'm not a hundred percent sure what she did with that phone number because I lived with my dad and I had to go home after that meal.

17. Aw, "WaulsTexLegion."

It was at a TGI Fridays in Katy, TX. This waiter was amazing. He was working 8 tables that I could count and was managing all of them flawlessly. Drinks never got below 1/3rd full at any table, he was always attentive and prompt, friendly, just a textbook example of the perfect waiter.

He impressed my dad so much that my dad asked if he could speak to a manager. Of course, the waiter immediately asks if anything is wrong, since that's the only time someone asks. My dad tells him no, it's to make sure that management knows what excellent service he's providing. The waiter thanks us and says he'll get a manager over as quickly as he can.

We wait for about 10 minutes before this middle-aged grease ball of a manager saunters over and starts asking my dad how the waiter screwed up. My dad is not the most patient of people, and we were kinda in a hurry to get home, so the 10 minute wait was rubbing him wrong.

But when the manager immediately acted like the guy was a screw up, my dad lost it. He told the manager that the waiter had done everything perfectly, and that's why he tipped the guy $15 on a $35 ticket. He also went on to say that the manager needed to be more respectful of his staff and gave the guy an ass chewing for presuming that the employee had screwed up. Before that moment, I thought that my sister and I were the only ones he would scream at when he was upset. It was somewhat embarrassing to see my dad yell at this guy, but he did it for a good reason.

This article was originally published by our partners at someecards and was written by Kimberly Dinaro.

via Meg Sullivan (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

A volunteer hands out food in a food bank and Meg Sullivan shares her dad's kind gesture.

When we consider people who have had a positive impact on the world, we often think of those who have made grand gestures to improve the lives of others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, or Mahatma Gandhi. Unfortunately, that type of effort is out of reach for the average person.

However, O Organics would like to remind everyone that they can positively impact the world through small, consistent acts of kindness that add up over time. Much like how a small creek can create a valley over the years, we can change lives through small, consistent acts of kindness.

O Organics is dedicated to the well-being of all by nourishing people everywhere with delicious organic foods grown by producers who meet USDA-certified organic farming standards.

Upworthy's Instagram page recently posted a touching example of everyday kindness. Meg Sullivan shared how her father, Tom, peeled oranges for her lunch just about every day from kindergarten through high school. But on the final day of her senior year of high school, he sent his 17-year-old daughter unpeeled oranges with a touching note about how she’d have to start peeling them for herself.



“It’s Time Baby Girl,” he wrote on a wikiHow printout on how to peel an orange with a drawing of himself crying. For the father, this daily ritual was about more than just making lunch; it was about showing that he cared by going the extra mile. “I could have put money on her lunch account,” Tom told Today.com. “But it’s one of those little things I thought was important, that she knows somebody’s taking the time to take care of her.”

The small, daily gesture taught Megan an essential lesson in kindness.

The post reminded people how their fathers’ small acts of kindness meant so much to them. “My dad peeled my oranges until I graduated high school, too. Now, I peel my daughter’s oranges and will for the next 7 plus years,” Katie wrote in the comments. “Love this. My dad peeled mine, too. When I moved out, he gave me an orange peeler gadget,” Mary added.

o organics, albertson's giving backO Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list.via Albertson's

Did you know that every time you go to the supermarket, you can also change the world through small gestures? O Organics not only allows you to feed your family delicious and nutritious organic food, but each purchase also gives back to help people and communities facing food insecurity.

Through contributions from customers like you, O Organics donates up to 28 million meals annually. The company’s contribution is essential when, according to the USDA, 47.4 million Americans live in food-insecure households.

O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal,” Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products, said in a statement.

O Organics now offers over 1500 items, from dairy products such as eggs and milk to packaged meats and breakfast staples such as cereal bars, granola and oatmeal. You can also enjoy affordable organic produce with O Organics’ fresh salads and fruit.

Everybody wants to make the world a better place. With O Organics, you can feed your family healthy, organic food every time you go to the market while paying it forward by contributing to the company’s efforts to end food insecurity nationwide. That’s a small, daily gesture that can amount to incredible change.

Unsplash

When talking with other parents I know, it's hard not to sound like a grumpy old man when we get around to discussing school schedules. "Am I the only one who feels like kids have so many days off? I never got that many days off when I was a kid! And I had to go work in the coal mine after, too!" I know what I sound like, but I just can't help it.

In Georgia, where I live, we have a shorter summer break than some other parts of the country. But my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, a week in September, two whole weeks at Christmas, a whole week off in February, and a weeklong spring break. They have asynchronous days (during which they complete assignments at home, which usually takes about 30 minutes) about once a month, and they have two or three half-day weeks throughout the year. Quite honestly, it feels like they're never in school for very long before they get another break, which makes it tough to get in a rhythm with work and career goals. Plus, we're constantly arranging day camps and other childcare options for all the time off. Actually, I just looked it up and I'm not losing my mind: American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries.

So it caught my attention in a major way when I read that Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently decided to enact a 4-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.


Giphy

The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes me want to break out in stress hives. But this 4-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? The pay is bad, for starters, but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools — starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in 4-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the 4-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the 4-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

4-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. I know, I know — "school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we need to work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a 4-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working 5-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not against screentime, but adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working 4 days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

Giphy

A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified 5-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art — you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

As a dad, I don't mind the idea of my busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. And I'm also very much in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a 4-day work week as the standard, the 4-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.


A great salesman makes his pitch.

Have you ever disagreed with someone, and even though you had all of the facts on your side, you still failed to persuade the other person? You probably walked away thinking they were thick-headed and couldn't accept reality. But it was more likely just because they are human.

People cling to their firmly held beliefs about politics, religion, or whether pineapple belongs on pizza because they are closely attached to who we are as people. If we come to believe our core beliefs aren’t true, then who are we? The funny thing is that if you counter someone with facts, they will often refuse to believe them and hold onto their incorrect belief even more firmly. It’s a psychological phenomenon known as the backfire effect.

So, if you fight with your brother-in-law about crime rates and show him credible FBI statistics that counter his claim, chances are he will tell you that the facts and figures are made up or that the source isn’t trustworthy.

persuasion, arguing, changing mindsFriends get into a fight.via Canva/Photos

How do we change other people’s minds?

So the question is: Is it even possible to change anyone’s mind? Should we even try? The answer is yes, but it is counterintuitive. “A big mistake we make is that we think facts are powerful and that they sway people,” Kurt Gray, a social psychology professor at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, tells CNBC Make It. Gray is the author of “Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground.”

According to Gray, the key to persuading people is seeing them as someone just like you. “We are all just trying to protect ourselves, our family, our kids, and our society,” he says. But we’re fixated on different harms.” He suggests that we establish a connection with the other person and understand their fears.

What’s the best way to argue with someone?

To establish a connection, ask questions about what motivates their belief. If it’s a fear of crime, ask them to share why they feel there is more crime today. Then, validate their feelings by saying you understand why those observations would lead to that conclusion. That’s when you can try and influence their opinion by sharing a personal story about why you feel differently. “Others are more likely to find some merit in your argument if you share a personal anecdote, as opposed to some statistics, to show why you stand where you do,” Gray says.

persuasion, arguing, changing mindsDaughter won't listen to her mother.via Canva/Photos

Whatever you do, don’t make the conversation about scoring points. Be sure it’s an honest discussion about how both of you came to your opinions. “My number one tip is if you go into these conversations trying to win, you’ve already lost because no one ever admits defeat when it comes to morality,” he says. “Sharing and connecting on a human level was more effective than arguing,” Gray told Time. Often, people “think the best thing to do is to argue as aggressively as possible,” but that’s not the case.

Ultimately, you’ll be more successful at sharing your beliefs and influencing others if you go into the conversation attempting to understand the other person’s position instead of proving them wrong. Facts aren’t great at changing people’s minds, but empathy and connection might. So next time you’re in a tense discussion with someone, coo down the situation by ditching the stats and sharing your story. You may not bring the other person to your side, but you may find common ground.

via Canva

A doctor is analyzing brain scans.

Death remains one of the greatest mysteries of life. It’s impossible to know what happens as a person passes and whether there’s anything afterward because no one has ever been able to report what happens from beyond the grave. Of course, if you ask those with a keen interest in the supernatural, they may say otherwise.

However, in 2021, researcher Dr. Raul Vicente and his colleagues at the University of Tartu, Estonia, became the first people ever to record the brainwaves of someone in the process of dying, and what they’ve come to realize should be very comforting to everyone. “We measured 900 seconds of brain activity around the time of death and set a specific focus to investigate what happened in the 30 seconds before and after the heart stopped beating,” Dr. Ajmal Zemmar, a neurosurgeon at the University of Louisville, US, who organized the study, told Frontiers.


The patient who died while having his brain waves measured was 87 years old and had epilepsy. While researchers were studying his brain to learn more about the condition, they had a heart attack and passed away. “Just before and after the heart stopped working, we saw changes in a specific band of neural oscillations, so-called gamma oscillations, but also in others such as delta, theta, alpha, and beta oscillations,” Zemmar said.

The different types of brain oscillations that occurred in the patient before and after the heart attack were associated with high cognitive functions, including dreaming, concentrating, memory retrieval, and memory flashbacks. Therefore, it’s possible that as the patient was dying, they had their life flash before their eyes. What an amazing and comforting experience right before leaving this mortal coil.

“Through generating oscillations involved in memory retrieval, the brain may be playing a last recall of important life events just before we die, similar to the ones reported in near-death experiences,” Zemmar speculated. “These findings challenge our understanding of when exactly life ends and generate important subsequent questions, such as those related to the timing of organ donation.”


How long are people conscious after they are technically dead?

Science has found that people can remain conscious up to 20 seconds after they are declared dead. Even after the heart and breathing have stopped, the cerebral cortex can hang on for a while without oxygen. So, some people may experience the moment when they hear themselves declared dead, but they aren’t able to move or react to the news. In cases where someone performs CPR on the deceased person, the blood pumped by the compressions can temporarily keep the brain alive as well.

Although the experience of death will probably always remain a mystery, we should take solace in the idea that, in many cases, it may not necessarily be a miserable experience but an ecstatic final burst of consciousness that welcomes us into the great beyond. “Something we may learn from this research is: although our loved ones have their eyes closed and are ready to leave us to rest, their brains may be replaying some of the nicest moments they experienced in their lives,” Zemmar concludes.

Joy

Woman shares the sweetest party invite she got from her adorable 85-year-old neighbor

His sweet gesture brought the entire neighborhood together in the best way.

@meeester/TikTok

The party would apparently start at 4pm and stop "when the cops arrived."

For the most part, our lives and that of our neighbors rarely intersect, minus the occasional chit chat in passing. Or perhaps a (hopefully polite) request to be mindful of noise levels. Either way, the tone is generally more superficial than anything else.

But ever so often, there are these miraculous moments of deep connection that seem to happen out of nowhere. Only in truth, these moments aren’t so much an act of divine intervention as they are every day people actively choosing to build those connections.

In a now viral video posted online, we see a beautiful example of this all too rare phenomenon, thanks to a sweet 85-year-old old named Doug, and a doorbell camera.

In the clip, posted to TikTok by his neighbor Michelle Larosa, we see Doug warmly introduce himself, then offer her an invite to his “winter party” before walking back across the street to his home. Doug would later share in an interview with Today that these annual gatherings were a way to “keep busy” after his wife's passing. In addition, he loves helping bring people together.

@meeesher Replying to @Hannah Collier here he is😭 it gets cut off but he’s so sweet! #neighbors #cryingintheclub #neighborhoodparty #bestneighborhood #invitation #oldneighbor ♬ original sound - Meeesher

Larosa then shows off said invite, which had an adorable snowflake drawn on the top, along with the note to not bring anything “but a smile” as well as the date and time of the celebration: February 15, from 4pm “til the cops arrive.” (Doug apparently knows how to party!)

“I love old people. This is the sweetest thing ever,” Larosa swooned.

And in case there was any doubt as to Doug’s party throwing skills, in yet another clip, we see an incredible spread of libations and snacks (many donated due to Doug’s new found internet fame), along with some games, flowers, two splendid cakes…and of course a happy crowd of partygoers. Plus, Larosa apparently livestreamed the shindig, where millions of viewers tuned in.

All in all, seems like a night well done. And even more importantly, neighboring done right. Hence why people are wishing they had their very own neighbor Doug.

@meeesher Just a few details, will be shouting out all the brands and small businesses tomorrow❤️ #dougswinterparty #doug #dougsparty #neighborhood #bestneighbors #winterparty ♬ original sound - Noah Kahan

Just take a look at some of these comments from across various social media platforms:

“I had to stop watching because I was bawling and I’m sick. So incredibly sweet and beautiful in a time where everything is so darn ugly.”

“This was just amazing. The way the entire WORLD came together. The power of it all is astounding.”

“Thank you for letting us all experience what being a true neighbor is all about!”

This, this is what matters. Kindness matters . Bringing people together matters.

How everyone was so touched by this man. This was really special and really spoke to how good humans can be.

Pretty clear that simply witnessing this moment instilled some much needed joy. Imagine if we took a page from Doug’s book, and tried to initiate opportunities for connections within our own community. How much more optimistic, peaceful, happy we might feel about ourselves and the world. It might not always be the most comfortable thing to make ourselves known to strangers, but it’s that vital first step to creating friendship, and often well worth the risk.

Health

NYT games like Wordle and Connections are good for cognitive health, with one big caveat

How you feel about doing them matters more than you might think.

Photo credit: Canva (left) Screenshot of completed Wordle game via NYT app (right)

Millions of people enjoy NYT Games puzzles like Wordle.

Every morning, I sit down with my cup of coffee, open up the New York Times Games app on my phone, and do the Wordle, Connections, Strands, and Mini-Crossword, in that order. As I complete each game, I send my results to the "Puzzle Pals Gang" group chat I have with some friends and family. We compare. We gloat. We trash talk. We congratulate. It's a delightful routine.

And we're not the only ones. According to the New York Times, there were 4.8 billion plays of Wordle, 2.3 billion plays of Connections, and 8 billion game and puzzle plays total in 2023. A whole lot of people love their brain games.

I like to think I'm benefiting from a nice little brain workout when I do those puzzles, but am I really? According to Mark Alberts, MD, chief of neurology at Hartford Hospital and co-physician-in-chief at the Ayer Neuroscience Institute, I probably am—but that doesn't mean everyone else is.

"These sorts of brain exercises can be very helpful for improving your ability to think and remember,” Alberts says, but that's only true if you're someone who actually likes and enjoys doing them. People who find the games fun can enjoy a boost in memory, attention and other cognitive functions. But for those who just find them stressful or frustrating, the cognitive benefit doesn't outweigh the negative impacts.

“Sure, crossword puzzles and Sudoku could be fun for some people. But if they’re distressing to you—or just not fun—they won’t be beneficial,” says Dr. Alberts.

puzzle write GIFGiphy

As someone who loves games and puzzles, I'm surely reaping the cognitive benefits. Someone who gets super stressed out by them would not, but that doesn't mean there aren't other ways for people who don't enjoy games to give their own brains a boost.

“Emotional well-being has a huge impact on cognition, so it’s important to choose activities that give you joy,” says Dr. Alberts. “Find a different hobby. Take a class. Teach a class! Keep learning in other ways.”

And, of course, there's not widespread agreement on the degree to which these games are helpful to brain health, either. Susanne Jaeggi, a professor with the Center for Cognitive and Brain Health at Northeastern University, says that the games being good for brains question isn't that simple.

“There are a lot of different things that contribute to our brain health," Jaeggi says. "As long as you’re doing something that keeps your brain engaged and fit, that could potentially be helpful to prevent age-related cognitive decline. Whether it’s exactly these games, that’s an open question, because a lot of these are new and there’s not a lot of (research) out there.”

A big question people have is whether games can help ward off age-related cognitive issues and dementia diseases. While Alberts says there’s no evidence for brain games preventing or delaying the onset of dementia, certain games do utilize cognitive functions that tend to diminish with age. “Fluid functions” like problem-solving, processing speed, and working memory tend to wane as we age, and some of the NTY Games puzzles force your brain to perform those functions.

A study published in NEJM EvidenceNEJM Evidence found some evidence that crossword puzzles can have a positive impact on aging brains. The study found that people age 62 to 80 with mild memory problems who played web-based crossword puzzles showed improved cognition and less brain shrinkage than to those who played web-based cognitive games.

However, crossword puzzles largely draw on things we already know, which is different than making our brains do something new or solve problems. “All your knowledge that you accumulate as a result of expertise and education, these are skills that remain as we age,” Jaeggi said. “Things like crossword puzzles that have you retrieve this accumulated knowledge, that’s not typically something that declines with age.”

One way to keep our brains sharp as we age is to try new things, and games can be a part of that. “What seems to be the case is that if you learn new skills and they’re challenging at whatever level of challenge is appropriate for you, then you see benefits,” said Art Kramer, psychology professor and director for Northeastern University's Center for Cognitive and Brain Health. “So if you’ve never done crossword puzzles or you’ve never played (Sudoku), that might be of benefit to you.”

Novel and enjoyable seem to be the key, so if games are your thing and you want to reap the benefits, enjoy the puzzles you love but also try some new ones once in a while.