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Someone asked strangers online to share life's essential lessons. Here are the 17 best.

There's a bit of advice here for everyone—from financial wisdom to mental health tips.

life lessons, personal development
Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

Failure is a great teacher.

It’s true that life never gets easier, and we only get continuously better at our lives. Childhood’s lessons are simple—this is how you color in the lines, 2 + 2 = 4, brush your teeth twice a day, etc. As we get older, lessons keep coming, and though they might still remain simple in their message, truly understanding them can be difficult. Often we learn the hard way.

The good news is, the “hard way” is indeed a great teacher. Learning the hard way often involves struggle, mistakes and failure. While these feelings are undeniably uncomfortable, being patient and persistent enough to move through them often leaves us not only wiser in having gained the lesson, but more confident, assured and emotionally resilient. If that’s not growth, I don’t know what is.

Reddit user u/G_man252 asked people to share their own life lessons “learned the hard way,” and the answers, though varied, all touched on something useful that everyone can probably relate to. Especially those of us who have had the blessing of living long enough to gain a lot of hard-won knowledge.

Below are 17 of the best lessons that all of us either have learned, are trying to learn or will learn soon enough. Reading them isn’t necessarily the same as experiencing them, but there is still some comfort in knowing they are all part of what it means to be human.

Read. Be enlightened. Or at the very least, be soothed and entertained.

1.

"Not everyone who loves you is good for you." – @Gulbahar-00

A woman meditating, with hand on heart.

Sometimes boundaries are a form of self love.

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

2.

"Back up your data." – @SomeoneHad2FuknSayit

3.

"You can't fix other people. Only yourself." – @Bob_N_Frapples

4.

"It’s okay to put yourself first. Don’t expend all your energy on others and leave nothing for yourself. Understand how to give and take in moderation and that it’s a two way street." – @Neffili

5.

"Your fear of failure is worse than the failure itself. Take the chance. Now." – @aerofish_

A person skydiving.

Take the plunge.

Photo by Muzammil Soorma on Unsplash

6.

"Nothing ever stays the same no matter how hard you want it to be … don’t take it for granted." – @CodyGhostBlood

7.

"Not everyone will like you for doing the right thing." – @Kaitriarch

8.

"Never take your health for granted. Appreciate every little thing you have that makes you happy." – @galestrikesback

9.

"Being vulnerable is the hardest thing you can do, but not being vulnerable will make your life much, much harder." – @thiccdiccboi

A wooden heart decoration with the words 'open'.

Open your heart.

Photo by cyrus gomez on Unsplash

10.

“Budget and be financially responsible." – @QuailandDoves

11.

"If your gut is screaming at you that something is wrong, listen to it." – @REDDITprime1212

12.

"Time does not heal all wounds. Most days get better but you'll always have days where you feel it all over again as if it just happened and you can't do anything about it except for ride it out." – @Smokey_S

13.

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life." – @Karnezar

14.

"Mental illness is very real and will get in the way of your life." – @NoUsername817226

15.

"It's okay to be wrong sometimes. Humility really goes a long way in maintaining relationships and being happy." – @Freezeucriminalscum

A young man crouched on the floor by a window, eyes closed, contemplating his mental health.

Seek the help that is out there. You deserve it.

Photo by Fernando @cferdophotography on Unsplash

16.

"You will inevitably, directly or indirectly hurt people in life." – @Sinusoidal0360

17.

"Don’t wait until the right time. For most things there is no right time. Perfectionism stalls you." – @lovelyfallday

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Culture

Young female artist has sold $7 million worth of paintings before she was even 14-years-old

You can see her talent in her very first painting.

Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Wellness

Here's why your brain says there's always room for dessert, even when you’re totally stuffed

Humans are hardwired for sweets, even after a big meal.

via Canva/Photos

Three teenage girls enjoying some cake.

Have you ever felt like you can hardly stand after having a big dinner at a restaurant, but when the dessert menu is dropped on the table, your stomach miraculously finds a way to accommodate another 800 calories of cheesecake? Does that mean you weren’t completely full, or your stomach can always find room for dessert? According to a recent study out of Germany, we’re programmed to find room for dessert, even when legitimately full.

The Max Planck Institute for Metabolism Research, led by Henning Fenselau, PhD, performed a study on mice after being confused by what they call “dessert stomach” or the strange way we have an appetite for sugary foods when we have zero interest in another bite of our dinner. The researchers found that after eating a meal, a paradoxical thing happens: the same neurons that trigger us to feel satisfied also create a desire for sugary foods simultaneously.

cake, eating cake, appetite, scientific studyA couple enjoying some cheesecake.via Canva/Photos

To understand why this surprising effect happens with our appetites, the researchers gathered a hungry group of mice and fed them chow for 90 minutes. After the mice were satisfied, the scientists offered them another 30-minute period where they were given more chow or a substance high in sugar. The mice given a second helping of chow would take a little nibble, but if they were given a meal high in sugar, they would increase their caloric intake sixfold. For humans, this is like enjoying a filling club sandwich with soup and salad, then knocking back a nine-scoop sundae with whipped cream, nuts, and a cherry. “This vigorous stimulation of consumption of the high sugar–containing food was consistent across all mice,” the researchers wrote.


Is dessert stomach real?

The secret to “dessert stomach” lies in a group of nerve cells called pro-opiomelanocortin (POMC). When the mice were full of chow, these neurons fired off signals that they were satiated. At the same time, it also triggers the release of ß-endorphin, one of the body’s opiates that creates a feeling of reward that causes the mice to continue to consume sugar even after they are full.

It’s also worth noting that the opiate was released in mice that had never even tasted sugar before, showing they are hard-wired to consume sugar every chance they get. “From an evolutionary perspective, this makes sense: sugar is rare in nature but provides quick energy,” Fenselau said. “The brain is programmed to control the intake of sugar whenever it is available.”


Scientists believe humans have a strong drive to consume sugar because its energy allows them to stave off starvation, giving them a greater chance to reproduce. However, fruit is often found high up in trees, so the primates would need a strong drive to climb the tree to get it. The amount of sugar provided by these fruits was relatively small, so there were no adverse health impacts from eating whatever sugar they could get their hands on. But in 2025, at a time when sugar is plentiful, this drive is a big reason for the obesity epidemic in developed countries.

The good news about the study is that the next time you eat a big meal and still crave a hunk of cake even after you are full, it’s not because you prioritized dessert over your nutritious meal. It’s because, over thousands of years of evolution, your mind has found a way to trick you into eating all the sugar you can, even when you don’t have any space left for anything else.

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Humor

Artist gives 6 of Disney's most beloved characters a modern twist  to explain today's world

"I thought transporting them to our modern world could help us see it through new eyes."

via Tom Ward / Instagram

Classic Disney characters reimagined for modern times

Artist Tom Ward has used his incredible illustration techniques to give us some new perspective on modern life through popular Disney characters. "Disney characters are so iconic that I thought transporting them to our modern world could help us see it through new eyes," he told The Metro.

Tom says he wanted to bring to life "the times we live in and communicate topical issues in a relatable way."

In Ward's "Alt Disney" series, Prince Charming and Pinocchio have fallen victim to smart phone addiction. Ariel is living in a polluted ocean, and Simba and Baloo have been abused by humans.

Not all the news is bad though. LeFou form "Beauty and the Beast" has finally come out of the closet and his crush, Gaston, appears to be pretty accepting of the revelation.

Although, was it really such a shock?

Ward believes that his illustration of Artur from "Sword and the Stone makes" a particularly strong point. "I also think the message of Arthur from The Sword in the Stone sitting on his phone has some resonance today," he said. "He's too engrossed in his phone to experience other opportunities and realize his true potential in life."

You can see more of Ward's work on Instagram.

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

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Education

How much does your name affect your life? More than you might think.

A few things for parents to ponder when deciding what to name a child.

Photo credit: Canva

What we're named makes a difference.

"What's in a name?" Juliet famously asked Romeo, telling him a rose would smell just as sweet even if it were called something else. Is it really true, though? For Shakespeare's star-crossed lovers, names were a barrier, so of course they didn't want them to matter. But just as Romeo and Juliet's last names directly affected their love story, the names we are given and go by have an impact in our lives in ways we may scarcely be aware of.

Research from around the world shows that what people call us can influence what others think of us, and what personality traits we develop, and even what big life decisions we make for ourselves. That's not to say you can direct someone's life entirely by giving them a certain name, but there are some things prospective parents who are weighing baby name options might want to consider.

- YouTubeyoutu.be


Certain names come with certain stereotypes

Our names influence how people see us, for better or for worse.

I have no hard evidence, but I'd bet dollars to donuts that very few babies born in the 2020s will be named Karen, solely because of the get-me-the-manager stereotype that's been attached to the name. The name Chad may have met a similar fate for this generation of baby boys, but there will undoubtedly be other names that get taken down by popular culture.

Fair or not, certain names conjure up certain stereotypes. Psychologist Michael Varnum, PhD, shared some results from a 2018 study of 400 Americans that examined how certain names are perceived based on traits like warmth and competence. For example:

Elizabeth = seen as high in both warmth and competence

Misty = seen as low in both warmth and competence

Riley = seen as high in warmth, low in competence

Ruth = seen as low in warmth, high in competence

Names even come with physical stereotypes, and a 2017 study from Hebrew University of Jerusalem found that people can guess what a person's name is based solely on how they look with much more accuracy than mere chance.

how our names impact usNames affect how people perceive us.Photo credit: Canva

Our names might influence decisions we make

If your name is Dennis, are you more likely to be dentist than someone named Josh? If your name is Kelly, would you be more likely to donate Hurricane Katrina victims than someone named Molly?

Oddly enough, research basically says yes. In the aggregate, people tend to make decisions about their lives that align with the first letter of their name. Study results indicate that to move to states that resemble their names, choose careers that begin with the first letter of their name, choose brand names that share phonetic qualities with their own names, choose romantic partners that have similar last names, contribute to politicians with names that start with the same letter as their own name, etc.

Yes, one study even found that people whose names shared an initial with a hurricane name were more likely to donate to that hurricane's disaster relief efforts than others.

Again, these study findings are in aggregate, so we can't draw any individual conclusions based on any individual's name, but those findings indicate that names do make a difference.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Our names can reveal our cultural identities

If you see the names Jerry, Juan, Jakob, Jayvon, and Jahan, you likely picture a different ethnicity or race or cultural identity for each one. Names are cultural, there's no question about it, and that reality can mean different things in different contexts.

There's the famous research showing that resumes with "white-sounding" names were more likely to be called for interviews over resumes with non-white names, despite have the exact same qualifications. So our names being associated with cultural or racial identities can result in discrimination when people's prejudices, whether conscious or unconscious, get in the way.

But race and ethnicity aren't the only cultural elements our names can reveal. Whether you have a traditional name or a unique name can reveal information about your family culture, such as whether or not your family or your community are more or less individualistic. Research shows that more unique names are more common among regions of the U.S. that were more recently part of the frontier, and that countries that are more individualistic tend to have more uncommon names. So even if your name is something your parents conjured out of thin air, it may not be as hard as you might think to narrow down some cultural information about you based just on your unique name.

man holding up a name tagDoes it really matter what your name is?Photo credit: Canva

It matters whether you like your name or not

One of the most interesting, though perhaps not surprising, findings in studies on names is that people who don't like their names tend to be less psychologically well-adjusted than those who like their names. Since our names are attached to our identities in a direct way, dissatisfaction with one's name would logically correlate with negative feelings about oneself and vice versa.

But it doesn't take an official study to know that going through life with a name you don't like would just stink. Thankfully, our names aren't written in stone. I've known several people who have changed their name in adulthood, deciding they were done being called a name that didn't suit them for whatever reason.

There's no way to predict what the next "Karen" will be or to know whether a child will actually like the name they're given or not, so parents must strike a balance between being thoughtful about naming a child and being overly anxious about getting it wrong. In the end, if a name turns out to be a poor choice, it can always be changed. Life's too short to fret over a name, and it's also too short to keep one you hate.

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Culture

At 96, passionate Lakers fan finally experiences the NBA in person and it was magical

Is someone chopping onions nearby?

TikTok

Dreams really do come true

Old age is a blessing. The passage of time means more time with loved ones. Each year on earth presents us with new knowledge, wisdom, and sacred truths. Yes, to grow old is a gift. But do you know what’s even better? Attending your first Lakers game at 96 -years-old after years of being a superfan.

That’s what happened when Megan Jane decided to surprise her nonagenarian grandfather—and lifelong Lakers fan—with tickets for an upcoming game. Despite watching every Lakers game dutifully from his iPad screen, he had never actually gotten to see his beloved Los Angeles “Showtime” Lakers in the flesh, up close and personal. Going to live sporting events are always a blast, no matter who’s on the court. There’s cheering, there’s jeering, there’s camaraderie and overpriced hot dogs. There’s just something about standing in a sea full of fans, all proudly wearing their favorite player’s jersey, and screaming “DEFENSE” at the top of your lungs that reminds a person that they are alive.


stadium, basketball game, sports game, crowdWelcome to where the magic happens. Photo by JC Gellidon on Unsplash

But when the team in front of you happens to be your favorite (and arguably, one of the best of all time)? C’mon. Pure bliss.

On her TikTok, @nagemjane, Jane walks us through the entire surprise, from arriving at the stadium to the Lakers eventual win (thank goodness that happened) in a heartwarming video titled “POV: Your 96-year-old grandpa finally gets to watch an NBA game not on his iPad.” The post has been watched over 155,000 times and garnered 32,000 likes.

The video went so viral, that even the official Lakers account commented, writing, “We’re so happy for him 🫶”

Other commenters were similarly stoked, with @chariseburk saying, “I hope it’s everything he dreamed of. Brought tears to my eyes. 😭 💜”

“Here I am, crying for strangers on the internet again,” replied @nermieez.

“I can tell he is a true Lakers fan and I am sure he really enjoyed the game. I LOVE LA!” added @sportshero22.


basketball player, dunk, basketball game “I can tell he is a true Lakers fan" Photo by August Phlieger on Unsplash

But the best comments came from the heart, people who were reminded of their own cherished memories with loves ones.

User @js.slumpz23 said, “...We lost our grandpa back in 2017 and he was a huge Lakers fan. He’s the reason why our entire family roots for the purple and gold. It makes my heart happy to see you do this with your Grandpa.”

“I wanted to take my grandpa to his first 49ers game, in the company suite I work for, and he said he didn’t think he would be able to go,” wrote @jessicajayson. “He passed shortly after. This moment means everything.”

Before even heading into the arena, merrily walking hand-in-hand with Megan, her grandfather gives the camera a few waves then heads to the 17-foot-tall bronze sculpture of Magic Johnson for a photo. Revealed to the public in 2004, the magnificent statue shows #32 in his signature “no-look pass” stance, and resides next to statues of Shaquille O’Neal, Kareem “Cap” Abdul-Jabbar, Jerry “The Logo” West, Elgin Baylor, Chick Hearn, and Kobe Bryant.

Her grandfather is obviously thrilled to be there. Sporting a classic Lakers cap, his eyes can’t even seem to take it all in. Even boring tasks, like waiting in line or going through security, have an essence of glee to them. At Crypto.com Arena, he's a kid in a candy store.

A dream nearly a century in the making

As someone who’s watched decades of NBA games, can you imagine the number of iconic moments this man has witnessed? The Lakers’ dynasty era, for instance, back when the team still played at the Forum with Magic and Kareem in the starting five and “the Godfather of the NBA,” Pat Riley, as head coach—no one, not even Boston, stood a chance.


Lakers jersey, Lakers purple and gold, basketball playerLet's go Lakers! Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

He was there for every second of Kobe Bryant’s legacy, from his 13th pick in the 1996 NBA draft to the five championship rings he won. There was Kobe and Shaq, with their legendary three-peat. Kobe and Pau Gasol. Kobe and Phil Jackson, who he helped win an 11th (!!) championship ring. Megan’s grandpa even had the luck of witnessing NBA history that night: freshly traded former Dallas Mavericks player, Luka Dončić, was making his debut at the legendary arena.

Even if you’re not a basketball fan, sports have this unique ability of bringing people together. This story isn’t just about a lifelong fan watching his team for the first time, it demonstrates the importance of family and the beauty of various generations coming together to help each others achieve their dreams.

“Like no other human activity, sport is about bringing people together in the spirit of friendship and respect,” said Thomas Bach, a former Olympic gold medalist and the current president of the International Olympic Committee during the Lighting of the Olympic Flame Ceremony at the 2016 Games in Rio. “Sport always builds bridges; it never erects walls. In a world shaken by crises, the message that our shared humanity is greater than the forces that divide us is more relevant than ever before.”

The power of the senior “bucket list”

Although bucket lists are often associated with younger generations—college students studying abroad, things to do before you turn thirty, etc.—it’s also important for older folks to take a step back and think about what’s important to them. Bucket lists can be a wonderful tool for seniors, providing a path to rediscovering their passions, enhancing their mental and emotional well-being, and most importantly, creating lasting memories. According to experts at Deerwood, a senior living community in Jacksonville, Florida, “One of the most significant benefits of creating a bucket list in your golden years is the opportunity to create lasting memories. These are not just memories for yourself but also for your loved ones.”

Watch Megan's full video below.


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