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15 times politicians did the right thing in 2015.

You may not always agree with these politicians, but let's give credit where credit is due.

2015 has been a big year in a lot of ways.

The Supreme Court ruled on marriage equality and upheld the Affordable Care Act. The people of Ireland became the first country to grant the right to same-sex marriage by popular vote. There have been lots of good political things happening behind the scenes, but how about a few examples of positive things politicians did throughout the year?

1. World leaders came together and signed on to a historic climate change agreement.

Earlier in December, world leaders met in Paris to address an issue vital to the Earth's survival: climate change. And for once, the politicians in attendance got real about the need and urgency to take immediate action.


In the end, 195 countries signed on to the Paris Agreement, agreeing to reduce their carbon output as soon as possible in an effort to keep the planet from warming more than 2 degrees. It's not just good for the environment — the agreement took care to protect human rights as well.

A protester outside the COP21 talks. Photo by Francois Guillot/AFP/Getty Images.

2. Oregon's legislature took on some major issues, from police profiling to paid sick leave.

In 2015, Oregon banned police profiling, required body cameras on officers, criminalized revenge porn, passed a law requiring paid sick leave, and instituted automatic voter registration which will up the number of registered voters in the state by an estimated 800,000 people, among other achievements.

Oregon Gov. Kate Brown. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

3. A bipartisan bill put animal welfare ahead of profits.

Back in February, Representatives Earl Blumenauer and Mike Fitzpatrick introduced the Animal Welfare At Risk in Experiments (AWARE) Act. The bill would close a loophole that exempts farm animals from bans on animal testing. Though the bipartisan bill hasn't gotten much traction, it's a bold stand from these politicians against the powerful agriculture industry.

Photo by David McNew/Getty Images.

“Allowing animals to be tortured in the interest of creating bigger profit margins — especially at taxpayer expense — is reprehensible, and we’re grateful to Representatives Blumenauer and Fitzpatrick for working hard to get USDA out of the business of animal cruelty and back to the job of animal welfare,” said Matt Bershadker, president and CEO of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) said of the bill.

“Congress’s swift bipartisan introduction of legislation reflects a strong commitment to ending animal cruelty wherever it happens.”

4. Hawaii Governor David Ige committed his state to using 100% renewable energy by 2045.

In June, Gov. Ige committed Hawaii to achieving the goal of 100% renewable power by the year 2045. In August, Hawaii opened the first fully closed-cycle Ocean Thermal Energy Conversion plant in the U.S. (That's a big deal.)

Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images.

Hawaii isn't exactly chock-full of fossil fuels in the first place, so the swap to renewable energy is not only welcome, but necessary. Here's hoping some of the technology working its way out to the islands finds its way back to the mainland.

5. Lawmakers created Congress' first ever transgender equality task force.

Earlier this year, Rep. Mike Honda announced that he has a transgender granddaughter. Ever since, he's been a powerful, vocal ally to the trans cause, giving voice to the frequently voiceless. Honda now chairs the House of Representatives' first ever Transgender Equality Task Force.

"This is another much-needed step in our fight to ensure that the transgender community’s voice is represented in Congress,” Honda says in a statement on his website.

Rep. Mike Honda. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

6. Canada Prime Minister Justin Trudeau unveiled a gender-balanced cabinet.

It may not seem like a big deal, and that's kind of the point. When a reporter asked Trudeau why his cabinet is equally balanced between men and women, he gave the perfect answer: "Because it's 2015."

"Because it's 2015." ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

"It's an incredible pleasure for me to be before you today … to present a cabinet that looks like Canada," Trudeau said, noting a more gender and racially diverse cabinet than previous administrations.

7. A "pro-gun" lawmaker quit the NRA after the attacks in San Bernardino.

John Oceguera, the former Nevada Assembly Speaker, resigned his membership to the NRA following the attacks in San Bernardino. Oceguera, who is running for Congress, simply had it with the pro-gun lobby, pointing to its unwillingness to close dangerous loopholes. A gun-owner himself, Oceguera has become outspoken in his position of ensuring guns are only acquired after thorough background checks.

"Our country is facing a tragic gun violence epidemic, and we cannot ignore it," wrote Oceguera about his resignation. "Still, the NRA opposes any legislation that would help keep guns out of the hands of terrorists, criminals and the mentally ill, and spends millions to stop any action in Congress that could help prevent further violence. I cannot continue to be a member while the NRA refuses to back closing these loopholes."

Police in San Bernardino block off the crime scene at the Inland Regional Center where 14 people were killed. Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

8. Outgoing Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear restored voting rights for nonviolent ex-felons.

In his final executive order as governor of Kentucky, Steve Beshear took it upon himself to automatically reinstate the voting rights of nonviolent convicted felons who have served out their prison term.

Gov. Steve Beshear. Photo by Jim Watson/AFP/Getty Images.

"This disenfranchisement makes no sense," said Beshear during a press conference. "It makes no sense because it dilutes the energy of democracy, which functions only if all classes and categories of people have a voice, not just a privileged, powerful few. It makes no sense because it defeats a primary goal of our corrections system, which is to rehabilitate those who have committed crimes."

9. An Ohio state representative opened up about her rape and abortion.

During debate on a bill that would effectively ban abortion in the state of Ohio, Rep. Teresa Fedor shared a personal story in hopes of providing some important context to the effect such a bill would have on the women of the state.

Photo by TIM SLOAN/AFP/Getty Images.

"You don't respect my reason, my rape, my abortion, and I guarantee you there are other women who should stand up with me and be courageous enough to speak that voice," said Rep. Fedor, opening up about being raped during her time in the military and her decision to have an abortion. "What you're doing is so fundamentally inhuman, unconstitutional, and I've sat here too long."

The bill passed the House but hasn't been taken up by the Senate.

10. Science prevailed during the GOP undercard debate.

During an October debate, GOP presidential hopefuls George Pataki and Lindsey Graham did something that really shouldn't be considered controversial, but given the positions of some of the other candidates, it was. They stood up for science.

"I've talked to climatologists of the world, and 90% of them are telling me that greenhouse gas effect is real," Sen. Lindsey Graham said. "That we're heating up the planet. I just want a solution that would be good for the economy, that doesn't destroy it."

Sen. Lindsey Graham, of South Carolina. Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

"Too often we question science that everyone accepts," said Pataki. "I mean, it's ridiculous that, in the 21st century, we're questioning whether or not vaccines are the appropriate way to go. Of course they are. And it's also not appropriate to think that human activity, putting CO2 into the atmosphere, doesn't make the Earth warmer. All things being equal, it does. It's uncontroverted."

11. President Obama "banned the box."

In November, President Obama issued an executive order instructing the federal government to remove questions about whether one has a criminal record. Why? Well, for many employers, a "yes" answer gets applications tossed in the rejection bin.

By removing that question from applications, candidates can be evaluated on the basis of their skills and not on the basis of some potentially long ago transgression. Employers can — and likely will — continue running pre-employment background checks that will turn up convictions. Banning the box gives those convicted of a crime the chance to make a first impression before their record does.

Photo by Saul Loeb-Pool/Getty Images.

12. South Carolina removed the Confederate flag from its post outside the state house.

In July, Republican South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley signed a bill ordering the removal of the Confederate flag from outside the state house. In signing the bill, she used nine pens, one for each victim of the June attack on Charleston's Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church.

"This is a story about the history of South Carolina and how the action of nine individuals laid out this long chain of events that forever showed the state of South Carolina what love and forgiveness looks like," Gov. Haley said at the signing ceremony.

Photo by Mladen Antonov/AFP/Getty Images.

Other cities and states are considering similar action — Houston is in the process of renaming schools that honor confederate soldiers; Fairfax County, Virginia, is considering the same; and a Florida town recently renamed a Confederate-inspired highway after President Obama.

13. Germany's Chancellor Merkel showed, and continues to show, leadership on the refugee front.

In December, Time magazine named German Chancellor Angela Merkel Person of the Year. Why? In large part, because the country has taken on more than 1 million refugees in 2015 alone. In comparison, the U.S. averages around 70,000 refugees taken in each year.

"Germany is doing what is morally and legally obliged [to do for refugees]. Not more, and not less," Merkel said in September. Perhaps other countries (like, oh, perhaps the U.S.) could take a cue from Germany's humanitarian efforts.

Angela Merkel. Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images.

14. Rand Paul filibustered the Patriot Act renewal.

No one really likes the Patriot Act. Or, rather, few would offer major public support for it. The whole thing basically gives the federal government the ability to spy on American citizens. And while most lawmakers are quick to claim it's needed in order to keep us safe from the threat of terrorism, the public is, at best, split on the matter.

In May, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul carried out a nearly 11-hour filibuster calling for the expiration of a number of key Patriot Act provisions, specifically having to do with government surveillance of phone records.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

In the end, the bill passed, but not before Sen. Paul brought it to the attention of the American people, and that's certainly something worth noting.

15. China lifted its one-child rule.

China put an end to its controversial "one-child rule." The rule, instituted in 1979, prevented an estimated 400 million births across the country. But as the country's population ages, the Communist Party has issued a statement allowing couples to now have up to two children. While this sounds like just a tiny step forward on a hugely controversial issue, it's a giant leap in terms of phasing out a regressive policy.

Under the one-child rule, for every 100 girls born in China, 120 boys are born, a higher ratio than any other country in the world.

Photo by China Photos/Getty Images.

You may not always agree with a politician, but it's good to give credit where credit is due.

Maybe you disagree with Rand Paul's economic worldview, or maybe you think President Obama's foreign policy is too hawkish. Even so, you can (and should) acknowledge good work when it's done, regardless of political party. It's easy to paint the world as being inhabited by people who are either 100% pure good or 100% pure evil, but it's simply not that simple.

It's about credit where credit is due and understanding that there's always a bit more nuance than we'd like to admit.

Planet

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

It's super easy, no purchase or donation necessary, and you help our oceans! That's what we call a win-win-win. Enter here.

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗
True

Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're bringing back our favorite giveaway with Ocean Wise. You have the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Our recommendation? Celebrate love for all your people this Valentine's Day! Treat your mom friends to a relaxing spa trip, take your best friend to an incredible concert, or enjoy a beach adventure with your sibling! Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner or enjoying a movie night in, your next date could be on us!

Here’s how to enter:


  • Go to upworthy.com/oceandate and complete the quick form for a chance to win - it’s as easy as that.
  • P.S. If you follow @oceanwise or donate after entering, you’ll get extra entries!

Here are the incredible dates:

1. Give mom some relaxation

She’s up before the sun and still going at bedtime. She’s the calendar keeper, the lunch packer, the one who remembers everything so no one else has to. Moms are always creating magic for us. This Valentine’s Day, we’re all in for her. Win an eco-friendly spa day near you, plus a stash of All In snack bars—because she deserves a treat that’s as real as she is. Good for her, kinder to the ocean. That’s the kind of love we can all get behind.


Special thanks to our friends at All In who are all in on helping moms!

2. Jump in the ocean, together

Grab your favorite person and get some much-needed ocean time. Did you know research on “blue spaces” suggests that being near water is linked with better mental health and well-being, including feeling calmer and less stressed? We’ll treat you to a beach adventure like a surfing or sailing class, plus ocean-friendly bags from GOT Bag and blankets from Sand Cloud so your day by the water feels good for you and a little gentler on the ocean too.

Special thanks to our friends at GOT Bag. They make saving the ocean look stylish and fun!

3. Couch potato time

Love nights in as much as you love a date night out? We’ve got you. Have friends over for a movie night or make it a cozy night in with your favorite person. You’ll get a Disney+ and Hulu subscription so you can watch Nat Geo ocean content, plus a curated list of ocean-friendly documentaries and a movie-night basket of snacks. Easy, comfy, and you’ll probably come out of it loving the ocean even more.

4. Dance all day!

Soak up the sun and catch a full weekend of live music at BeachLife Festival in Redondo Beach, May 1–3, 2026, featuring Duran Duran, The Offspring, James Taylor and His All-Star Band, The Chainsmokers, My Morning Jacket, Slightly Stoopid, and Sheryl Crow. The perfect date to bring your favorite person on!

We also love that BeachLife puts real energy into protecting the coastline it’s built on by spotlighting ocean and beach-focused nonprofit partners and hosting community events like beach cleanups.

Date includes two (2) three-day GA tickets. Does not include accommodation, travel, or flights.

5. Chef it up (at home)

Stay in and cook something delicious with someone you love. We’ll hook you up with sustainable seafood ingredients and some additional goodies for a dinner for two, so you can eat well and feel good knowing your meal supports healthier oceans and more responsible fishing.

Giveaway ends 2/15/26 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at upworthy.com/oceandate

Pets

Vet demonstrates 'squish the cat' method of safe cat handling in delightfully helpful video

There's a reason Dr. Burstyn's "How to pick up a cat" video has been viewed 23 million times.

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior

Handling a cat may seem like a delicate matter, but being delicate isn't actually the way to go.

If you've ever tried to make a cat do something it doesn't want to do, you've likely experienced the terror that a cat's wrath can invoke. Our cute, cuddly feline friends may be small, but the razor blades on their feet are no joke when they decide to utilize them. Even cats who love us can get spicy if we try to manhandle them, so we can imagine how things will go with cats who don't know us well. But sometimes it's necessary to handle a cat even if it's resistant to the idea.

This is where Vancouver veterinarian Dr. Uri Burstyn comes in. His "How to pick up a cat like a pro" video, in which he demonstrates a few ways of picking up and handling a cat, has been viewed over 23 million times since he shared it in 2019. Unlike many viral videos, it's not humorous and nothing outrageous happens, but the combo of Burstyn's calm demeanor and his repeated instructions to "squish that cat" has endeared him to the masses.


- YouTube www.youtube.com

The video truly is helpful; he shows the ways to pick up a cat that make them feel the most secure using his cats, one-year-old Claudia and 14-year-old Mr. Pirate. He explains that cats spook very easily and it's best to introduce yourself to them gently. Let them sniff your fingers, keeping your fingers curled in, and once they've sniffed you, you can often give them a light rub on the cheek or under the chin.

Picking them up is a different story. The reason many cats will claw or scratch you when you try to pick them up is because they feel unsupported or unsafe, so they'll scramble around trying to get some footing. Burstyn shows how he picks up Claudia with one hand under the chest and one hand under her abdomen. If he needs to carry her around, he squishes her into his body so she feels "nice and supported." He may even put a hand under her front paws.

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior Cats can be finicky about how they're held. Photo credit: Canva

Then came the best part of the video: "Squish That Cat"

"Now if we do have a cat who's trying to get away from us?" Burstyn said. "We always squish that cat. If you're trying to hold the cat down, whether it's to trim their nails or to give them a pill, or whether you just want to have a cat not run off for a moment, squish that cat. All you need to know about cat restraint is to squish that cat."

Burstyn explains that cats generally feel very secure being squished, even if they're really scared.

"Sometimes cats come to me in the clinic, and they're quite afraid," he said. "And you just gently squish them, and they'll sit there and kind of not hurt themselves, not hurt us. Just hang out and let us do our thing."

He demonstrated putting a towel over the cat, explaining, "If you have a towel handy, this is one of the best cat restraint tools around. You can just throw a towel on the catty and squish her with the towel, that way they won't get a claw into you if they are scrambling about a bit. Very safe and gentle, and generally cats are very, very happy to be squished like that."

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior Squish that cat. Photo credit: Canva

Dr. Burstyn also showed how to do a "football hold," tucking the cat under your arm with them facing backwards. "So this is kind of an emergency way if you really need to carry a cat somewhere in a hurry," he said. Scooping up Claudia, he explained, "Little head's under your arm, butt in your hand, and you squish her tight to your body. And with that little football carry, you can basically hold a cat very securely and very safely, because it's really hard for them to rake you with their hind legs."

If you're worried about over-squishing your cat, Dr. Burnstyn says don't. "You don't have to worry about hurting a cat," he said. "They're very, very tough little beasts. You know, just squishing them against your body's never going to do them any harm. In fact, they tend to feel more safe and secure when they're being held tightly."

Dr. Burnstyn also demonstrated how to pick up and set down a "shoulder cat" who insists on climbing onto people's shoulders and hanging out there, as Mr. Pirate does. It's highly entertaining, as Mr. Pirate is a big ol' chonky kitty.


@yozron

Visit TikTok to discover videos!

People in the comments loved Dr. Burnstyn's demonstration, with several dubbing him the Bob Ross of veterinary medicine. Even people who don't have cats said they watched the whole video, and many loved Claudia and Mr. Pirate as well.

"This is just proof that cats are liquid."

"12/10 cat. Excellent squishability."

"So essentially, cats love hugs? That's the most wonderful thing i've heard all day."

"This cat is so well mannered and looks educated."

"Mr Pirate is an absolute unit."

"S q u i s h . T h a t . C a t ."

"I need 'Squish that cat' shirt.

"Dang, that actually helped with my female cat. She has been through at least two owners before me and had some bad expriences which obviously resulted in trust issues. She has now been with me for two years and it had gotten loads better, but she still did not want me to hold her. Normally I simply would have let her be, but for vet visits and such it was not an ideal situation. But then I saw this video and tried to squish the cat. And she loves it! She is turning into quite the snuggly bug. Thank you!"

So there you go. When all else fails, squish that cat and see what happens.

You can follow Dr. Burstyn on YouTube at Helpful Vancouver Vet.


NASA; Challenger explosion; Challenger crew; teacher in space; Challenger 40th anniversary

The Challenger crew.

In January 1986, the space shuttle Challenger took off with seven crew members on board, ready to make history. It was a big deal because this space mission wasn't just full of astronauts. Christa McAuliffe, a high school history teacher, was on board the spacecraft after winning a contest for the Teacher in Space Project. This would've made her the first teacher in space, so schools across the country wheeled televisions into their classrooms to allow students to watch history.

Instead, tragedy struck. The shuttle exploded just 73 seconds after takeoff due to "the destruction of the seals that are intended to prevent hot gases from leaking through the joint during the propellant burn of the rocket motor," according to NASA. All seven passengers on the Challenger perished in the explosion, leaving the country in shock.


NASA; Challenger explosion; Challenger crew; teacher in space; Challenger 40th anniversary The Challenger on crawler transportNASA/Wikimedia Commons

January 2026 was the 40th anniversary of the accident, and NewsChannel 5 caught up with one of the teachers who was competing for the seat McAuliffe occupied. Carolyn Dobbins taught at McMurray Middle in Tennessee in 1984 when NASA announced the Teacher in Space Project. Having always wanted to go to space, Dobbins applied for a seat on the shuttle. Over 11,000 teachers applied to be the one who would make history, and to Dobbins' surprise, she was chosen as a semifinalist. "I had no idea that anything like this could ever be part of my life," she said.

The retired teacher explains to the news station that she spent days on her application for space, saying, "An amazing thing happened." She shares about the series of snow days in 1985. "Snow day. Then we had another snow day and another snow day. Those snow days were what I needed! It was basically a mini-book about your beliefs, your desire to go into space, getting to the soul of the person."

NASA; Challenger explosion; Challenger crew; teacher in space; Challenger 40th anniversary The Challenger explosion. Kennedy Space Center/Wikimedia Commons

She admits that some of her students were worried about her going into space if she were to be chosen, but she brushed off their concerns, saying, "'Oh, I'll be back.'" Dobbins was completely confident in the success of the mission and excited to be able to do something she once thought was impossible. After being interviewed by a panel in Washington, D.C., she was sure she would be chosen for the mission. All of the teachers invited to be interviewed were also confident they'd be chosen, according to Dobbins. But only one could go, and the person chosen was 37-year-old mom of two, Christa McAuliffe, a teacher at Concord High School in Concord, New Hampshire.

Dobbins stood in front of her television watching the shuttle take off instead of experiencing it herself. Once the announcer said the magic words, "We have liftoff," the almost astronaut shares that she let out a sigh of relief before saying, "Way to go, Christa." She then turned off the television.

"Within seconds, the phone rang," Dobbins tells NewsChannel 5. "It was a friend. I said, 'Isn't it great? The shuttle has gone!' She said, 'Carolyn, you don't know.' It was the tone. You don't know. I just put the phone down, flipped on the TV. There it was. Already the footage was going of the explosion. That is still such an emotional moment."

NASA; Challenger explosion; Challenger crew; teacher in space; Challenger 40th anniversary Jay Greene in the control room after the Challenger explodesNASA/Wikimedia Commons

Dobbins taught for 53 years before retiring, and while she would've been willing to go on another mission that aimed to put a teacher in space, she's thankful for the life she has been able to live.

arthur c. brooks, harvard, psychology, happiness research, bucket list

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.


bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

This article originally appeared last year.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

Learning

Video games used to build the cognitive skills Gen Alpha is missing out on. It's an easy fix.

"Children in the '90s played games that forced the brain to fail and try again."

video games; cognitive decline; cognitive skills; Gen Alpha; Millennials; Gen Z; old school gaming

Kids playing video games.

There was nothing more frustrating as a kid in the '90s than almost completing a level in a game only to hear that dreaded sound. It was your last life blinking before your eyes. Your only choice was to start over or turn off the video game and try again tomorrow. There was no getting around the fact that you were going to have to do it all over again, but next time you'd be faster, smarter, and better prepared than the last.

This is a skill that was built through repetition for Millennials and Gen X. That small annoyance in older video games exercised a muscle that would be helpful throughout life—one that increased the cognitive skills of these two older generations. And while older Gen Zers experienced this important brain development tool built into older video games, younger Gen Zers and Gen Alpha are critically missing out.


video games; cognitive decline; cognitive skills; Gen Alpha; Millennials; Gen Z; old school gaming Two kids enjoying a video game together on the couch. 🎮✨Photo credit: Canva

The brain development skills consistently present in video games from the late '70s through the '90s were frustration tolerance, critical thinking skills, delayed gratification, and pattern recognition. Licensed mental health counselor and former teacher, Veronica Lichtenstein, discussed '90s video games with Newsweek, saying, "You fought through levels, memorized patterns and finally saw the ending. It felt like you accomplished something. Your brain gave you this solid, lasting dose of satisfaction, like finishing a tough project.”

In a video by The Pizza Breakroom on Instagram, two men discuss an article allegedly written by a psychologist exploring this very phenomenon. "He said children in the '90s played games that forced the brain to fail and try again," one man reads. "Mario, Sonic, Prince of Persia, you had three lives, no saves, no hints. When you lost you learned patience, planning, and frustration tolerance. Today, many games guide kids step-by-step. Autosave every ten seconds and removes real challenge."

Games like Roblox and Minecraft, which a lot of kids enjoy playing, are never-ending. The game seems to be designed to encourage the player to spend money to keep up with trends, such as offering new "skins." This isn't game money; it's actual money that requires an adult's debit or credit card. There are no significant rewards offered through the satisfaction of beating a level or the game in its entirety. If a child is struggling in the room they chose to play in, the game allows them to leave and enter a different room filled with different players.

“Nineties games are a challenge for building your skills. Today’s games are often a test for your psychological resistance. A great deal are built to track, exploit and addict,” Lichtenstein shares with Newsweek.

video games; cognitive decline; cognitive skills; Gen Alpha; Millennials; Gen Z; old school gaming Family gaming fun: everyone is focused and competitive!Photo credit: Canva

But all hope is not lost on building these important skills in the youngest generations. Nineties games are still around, along with their original, refurbished consoles. There are also all-in-one Nintendo and Sega consoles that have all the '90s games preloaded. Parents can encourage video game play on actual consoles, not tablets or computers. A big perk is also that parents can actually get to play with their child while jogging their own memory of cheat codes and game layout.

For some, it may be difficult to watch their child struggle to figure out how to move through the old school games, but the point is for them to learn frustration tolerance and other cognitive skills. These skills are essential to navigate the world as an adult, and introducing kids to the games their parents played at their age is a fun way to do it.