15 of the funniest lies parents have ever told their kids. Some are classics.
"My dad always told me he was terrified of mice and rats, so we couldn't go to Chuck E. Cheese.”
Kids will believe everything their parents tell them. Some parents may tell the occasional white lie to protect their child’s innocence. At the same time, others will elevate the act of lying to their children as an art form, getting them to believe the craziest things to amuse themselves. It's not always the right thing to do. But it's often hilarious.
Some lies are passed on from generation to generation, such as “Don’t make a face like that; it’ll stick,” “You can’t swim right after lunch, or you’ll get sick,” or “The stork brings babies.” Even though the occasional lie seems harmless, especially if it’s protecting the child, experts say we should be careful about eroding our children’s trust.
“It seems important that children can trust adults, particularly their parents. Lying to children jeopardizes that trust and may be associated with other negative outcomes, such as higher levels of psychosocial maladjustment later in life,” Rebecca Brown, Senior Research Fellow at the Uehiro Oxford Institute, University of Oxford, writes for The Conversation.
That being said, some lies parents tell their kids are pretty darn hilarious. We’ve compiled a list of the best of them that we pulled from 2 viral posts on Reddit. Just pinky swear that you won’t use them on your kids the next time they hear the ice cream man ask to go to Chuck E. Cheese or swallow their bubble gum.
1. The kid cops
"My grandma would point at the armored money trucks outside stores and would tell me that those are the trucks that take misbehaved children away. Shit freaked me out."
"My mom used to tell my sisters that the barred-up closed stores in the mall were mall jail, and that's where they put the bad kids. My sisters also somehow got it in their heads that they would turn into mannequins."
2. Lies about lying
"Telling kids that lying makes your ears turn red was a brilliant idea. I'll have to use it."
"My variation of this was their tongue turned purple. When they lie, they get nervous, their heart rate increases, and the blood drains from their tongue, changing its normal pink color into a darker purple. I'd ask to see their tongue. If they told the truth they were happy to oblige. If they lied, they refused. This lasted about two months. They practiced lying to each other and concluded I was the liar."
3. 'Popeye eats it!'
"My mother told me that spinach would make me strong like Popeye and if i ate it i could lift the house. I would have a few spoonfulls and then she'd rush outside with me and i'd try and lift the house, squeezing my eyes shut with the effort. She'd go "'t moved! It moved! Quick, eat some more!' and i'd run back inside and finish it off."
4. Ice cream lies
"I told both of my kids that the ice cream truck was the 'music truck.' Its purpose was to drive around and cheer up all the sad people."
5. Terrified of Chuck E. Cheese
"My dad always told me he was terrified of mice and rats, so we couldn't go to Chuck E Cheese. I legitimately believed that until my cousin told me her dad (my dad's twin) had said the same thing."
6. How to save money on batteries
"'They don't sell replacement batteries for that toy' has officially been added to my rotation."
7. Religious lies
"My father told me (and my Catholic cousin) that Easter was the day that Jesus rolled back the rock, and if he saw his shadow we'd have six more weeks of winter. My aunt was beyond pissed when my cousin broke that out at her first communion."
8. The watermelon lie
"I was told swallowing watermelon seeds would grow in my stomach. I had a very nerve-wracking couple of months waiting."
9. Classic gum lies
"My mom used to tell me that when I swallowed gum, it would stay in my stomach for 10 years."
"My mom just told me it would never go away, instead there would be a pile of it in my stomach forever."
"My dad told me if I swallowed chewing gum, I would blow a bubble in my pants if I farted."
10. Seasonal TV
"My flatmate grew up on a farm and was told by her parents that their TV only worked when it rained. She believed this for far, far too long..."
11. Tooth Fairy's sense of smell
"As a kid I lost a tooth, put it in a plastic bag, slid it under my pillow, then went to bed early so the tooth fairy could come. When my parents forgot to put money under my pillow my dad said 'You shouldn't have put the tooth in a bag. The tooth fairy couldn't smell it.'"
12. The angry penguin
"My mom told my brother and I that a penguin lived behind the fridge, and if we left the door open too long we'd steal his cold and he'd get mad and come out and bite us. It worked on my brother. I asked my mom to move the fridge so I could pet the penguin."
13. Rainbow betta
"I work at a pet store; there's a lady who comes in every so often for a new betta fish, always a different color for her kids. Instead of trying to match the exact color and size of the fish so they don't know it died, she told them it was a rainbow fish. So not only are they not upset over a dead fish, they're excited every time the fish 'changes colour.'"
14. Planetary pears
"My mother told me that Pears were Space Apples. She told all of my siblings this, and it always worked."
15. Penny Elaine
"My mom's name is Elaine. My grandmother (her mom) told her that she was named after the song 'Penny Lane.' My mom went her whole life telling people this. It wasn't until last year that my dad looked it up and found out that the song came out 2 years after my mom was born. My grandma died about 10 years ago, so now my mom is trying to figure out what else she lied about."