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15 hard truths that once people accepted them, their lives got so much better

"Not all friendships last."

harsh truths, reddit, life advice
via Liza Summer/Pexels

A woman learns a harsh truth about her friends.

A significant part of adulthood is realizing that many uncomfortable truths are indeed real, even if we wish they weren’t. At first, these harsh truths may dampen our spirits and make us feel that the world is a bit colder.

However, understanding some of life's hard lessons opens us up to greater possibilities and can help us overcome the obstacles holding us back.

Harsh truths help us realize when relationships aren’t as great as they can be. They also prevent us from having too much faith in people and institutions that will ultimately disappoint us. Knowing dark truths can also help us appreciate the things that are truly beautiful, honest and good.

A Redditor named Rare_Can_5418 asked the AskReddit forum, “What difficult truths, the sooner you accept them, the better your life will be?” and received over 6,500 responses. Many of them were centered around harsh truths about relationships and the fact that even if we do our best in life, we can still end up with the short end of the stick.



The key is to keep going and never let failure get you down.

Here are 15 of the “difficult truths” that made people’s lives a lot better.

1. Stop comparing yourself

"There will always be someone better looking, better educated, younger, more experienced, more intelligent or wealthier than you. Do your best, live without regret, have empathy and kindness, give when you can, expecting nothing in return. Focus on your heart value more than what others have."

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

2. Some people won't like you

"You can be sweetest, juiciest peach on the tree. But some people don't like peaches."

"In Spanish, there's a saying: 'Nadie es moneda de oro para que lo quiera todo el mundo,' which translates to something like nobody is a gold coin to be liked/wanted by everyone else."

3. Things are just things

"They don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you give them away or sell them or throw them out. If a thing is useful, keep it. If not, get rid of it."

Psychologists refer to perceiving that inanimate objects have feelings as anthropomorphizing. Psych Central says that humans project feelings onto objects to relate to them more deeply. "People generally anthropomorphize to make sense of events and behaviors they experience. Further, attributing emotions, attitudes, mental states, faces, and values to non-human things can help you feel connected to something," Sarah Barkley writes in a PhD-reviewed article.



4. Not all friendships last

"Surprisingly though, the ones that last are not necessarily the best (or even good) ones."

"Most friendships are based on convenience, I've found. Unless two people are willing to put in a lot of effort, time and distance will do more to end a friendship than any disagreement."

5. You may be the bad guy

"You can do your best with someone and still be the villain in their story."

"One of my current favourite memes is: I don't care if I'm the villain in your story, you're the clown in mine."

6. You can't change people

"You can only help people who actually want it. If they’re not ready to change or put in the effort, there’s not much you can do. Realizing this can save you a lot of frustration and help you focus on people who actually appreciate your help."

"It’s always tough having those friends who are constantly complaining but doing nothing to address what they are complaining about. But as an adult, you just have to sit there and listen. No point in offering help to someone who isn’t asking for it. Kinda like how it’s really tough to teach someone who isn’t interested in being taught."

7. How we judge

"We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions."

"In psychology, this is called fundamental attribution error."

The Fundamental Attribution Error is a psychological phenomenon where we assume someone's actions reflect their personality without considering the situation. It's like when we blame someone's driving skills for being in an accident instead of the curvy road.



8. Depending on people

"Once you're an adult, there really isn't anyone you can 100% depend on except yourself. There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you."

9. Nice doesn't equal good

"Nice people aren't always good people."

"One of my bosses doesn't greet/make small talk and is known for being quite firm. He's been the most helpful throughout my most difficult period dealing with tragedy. Some people with that personality type simply get things done when you need them done without the chattering."

10. Everything is temporary

"You can suddenly lose anything and anyone at any time...and maybe all at once or in quick succession without so much warning."

11. Nobody is thinking about you

"In general, people in the real world are oblivious to you. You're not even a blip on their radar. If you're insecure about something you wear or how you look, remember: nobody cares."



12. No one is coming to save you

"No one is coming to save you, so you have to do it all yourself."

"And once you internalize this and do it, your self-esteem will be through the roof."

13. Nobody knows what they're doing

"Before i graduated high school I thought, thank god, I finally won’t have to deal with annoying obnoxious kids and I’ll be treated like an adult, I come to find out 95% of adults are worse then the actual kids, nobody knows what they’re actually doing and life is actually a big joke."

14. Love is reciprocal

"If a romantic interest is not giving you the same attention/respect you give them, they don't really care about or want you, and you're in for a world of hurt if you keep telling yourself otherwise."

15. Who's good for you?

"People who are good for you will make you feel happy, joyful, accepted, cared for, and filled with fun times, despite any differences. People who are not good for you will make you feel anxious, sad, down, slighted, judged, and never check in on you if you're not okay, and won't even bother noticing when you're not okay. Genuine people will never let you suffer in silence or watch you suffer. Stay away from those who make you feel negative emotions and thoughts."

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Cycle for Survival
Cycle for Survival
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How can riding a bike help beat cancer? Just ask Reid Moritz, 10-year-old survivor and leader of his own “wolfpack”

Every year, Reid and his pack participate in Cycle for Survival to help raise money for the rare cancer research that’s helped him and so many others. You can too.

all photos courtesy of Reid Moritz

Together, let’s help fuel the next big breakthrough in cancer research

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There are many things that ten-year-old Reid Wolf Moritz loves. His family, making watches (yes, really), basketball, cars (especially Ferraris), collecting super, ultra-rare Pokémon cards…and putting the pedal to the medal at Cycle for Survival.

Cycle for Survival is the official rare cancer fundraising program of Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSK). One hundred percent of every dollar raised at Cycle for Survival events supports rare cancer research and lifesaving clinical trials at MSK.

At only two years old, Reid was diagnosed with pilocytic astrocytoma, a rare type of brain tumor.

Pediatric cancer research is severely underfunded. When standard treatments don't work, families rely on breakthrough clinical trials to give their children a real shot at long-term survival.

When Reid’s chemotherapy and brain surgery didn’t work, he was able to participate in one of MSK’s clinical trials, where he’s received some incredible results. “Memorial Sloan Kettering has done so much for me. It's just so nice how they did all this for me. They're just the best hospital ever,” Reid recalls.

And that’s why every year, you’ll find Reid with his team, aptly named Reid's Wolfpack, riding at Cycle for Survival. It’s just Reid’s way of paying it forward so that even more kids can have similar opportunities.

“I love sharing my story to inspire other kids to PERSEVERE, STAY STRONG and NEVER GIVE UP while also raising money for my amazing doctors and researchers to help other kids like me.”

Reid remembers the joy felt bouncing on his father’s shoulder and hearing the crowd cheer during his first Cycle for Survival ride. As he can attest, each fundraising event feels more like a party, with plenty of dancing, singing and celebrating.

Hoping to spread more of that positivity, Reid and his family started the Cycle for Survival team, Reid’s Wolfpack, which has raised close to $750,000 over the past eight years. All that money goes directly to Reid’s Neuro-Oncology team at Memorial Sloan Kettering.

In addition to cheering on participants and raising good vibes at Cycle for Survival events, Reid even designs some pretty epic looking merch—like basketball shorts, jerseys, and hoodies—to help raise money.

If you’re looking to help kids just like Reid, and have a ton of fun doing it, you’re in luck. Cycle for Survival events are held at Equinox locations nationwide, and welcome experienced riders and complete newbies alike. You can even join Reid and his Wolfpack in select cities!

And if cycling in any form isn’t your thing, a little donation really does go a long way.

Together, let’s help fuel the next big breakthrough in cancer research. Find out more information by checking out cycleforsurvival.org or filling out this interest form.

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Popular

Millennial dad of 3 shuts down boomer parents for their 'ridiculous' holiday expectations

"Why is it that every time I have to make the effort for you, yet you can't do the most basic thing for me?”

via Canva/Photos

A Millennial dad has had it with his boomer dad's expectations.

A TikTok video posted by @carrerasfam is going viral, with over 300,000 views, because so many millennial parents can relate. In the video, a husband politely but firmly tells his “practically retired” baby boomer dad that he’s not taking his 3 young kids on a 400-mile drive to their house for the holidays.

Carerras Fam is a popular TikTok page about “all things postpartum and mamahood.” The husband opens the conversation with his dad by explaining all the inconveniences of taking 3 young kids on a long road trip. “I know you want us to drive down for the holidays, but it's kinda ridiculous that you want me to pack my 3 kids with their portable beds with my clothes, their clothes, the formula, everything that goes on with raising 3 kids and having them feel comfortable. Drive down for over four hours just so that we could spend some time in your house?” the husband says.

@carrerasfam

Sorry it’s just so much work. But you’re welcome to visit us #millennial #millennials #parents #parenting #parentsontiktok #boomers #millennials

It’s obviously inconvenient for the couple to pack up their kids and drive 4 hours, but it’s also unsafe because the house is not baby-proof. "I'm gonna have to run around, make sure that they don't break any of your stuff, and which you will take care of them,” the husband continues using sarcastic air quotes.

The dad brings up another great point: His parents are in good health, so why don’t they drive to their house? “You could visit. You don't have little kids,” the dad continues. “You don't have anything going on.

"Why is it that every time I have to make the effort for you, yet you can't do the most basic thing for me?”

It’s clear from the phone call the dad understands that traveling with the kids and staying in a house that isn’t correctly set up for young kids will make the holiday a struggle. Instead of making memories, they’ll most likely be running around bent over trying to save their kids from breaking something or hanging out at Target buying electrical socket plugs and a bottle brush because they left theirs at home.



The video struck a chord with many millennial parents.

“First holiday with a kid… parents are confused why I won’t drive 9 hours with a 3mnth old for Christmas,” too_many_catz writes. “The ‘not baby proofed’ part hit my soullllllll. It’s so stressful having to chase your kids around and ask to close doors, move pictures, block stairs, etc. And nobody takes you seriously!" OhHeyItsIndy added.

It’s also expensive for young families to travel. “Add to it they want us to spend money on gas, airfare, etc. when we live paycheck to paycheck and rent while they own homes and live comfortably off a pension,” another user wrote.

This one hit hard: “They always act like you're asking the world of them, yet they will willingly go on any other vacation that they choose,” Mackenzie Byrne wrote.

TX Travel Chick may have hit the nail on the head with her explanation for why boomer parents expect their children to road trip it to their house for the holidays. “Because we are used to following their orders!!! REVOLT,” she wrote.

Ultimately, it would be interesting to learn why boomer parents want to inconvenience their kids when it would be much easier for them to take a trip to see them, especially if they can afford a hotel. One wonders if they are being entitled or if they’ve forgotten how hard it is to travel with young kids.

Health

This woman's powerful 'before and after' photos crush myths about body positivity

"Body positivity is about saying that you are more than a body and your self-worth is not reliant on your beauty."

@scarrednotscared/Instagram

Michelle Elman, a body positivity coach, helps people who are struggling to find confidence in their own skin. After persevering through numerous medical conditions and surgeries in her own life, Elman realized a few years ago that body positivity wasn't just about size or weight.

Things like scars, birthmarks, and anything else that makes us feel different of self-conscious have to be a part of the conversation, and she tries to make the movement accessible to everyone. Sharing her own journey has been one of her most effective teaching tools.

In May, she shared a post on Instagram of herself trying on a dress she bought five years ago in order to prove a powerful point.

In the first photo, from 2012 — when she was a size 12, she says — she's wearing a size 14 dress. In the new photo, she's wearing the same dress, though she says she normally wears a size 20.

The dress still fit.

"NUMBERS DON'T MEAN ANYTHING," she wrote in the post. "So are you really going to let a change [in] dress size dictate your day? Are you really going to let an increase in a number affect your mood?"

"A higher dress size doesn't mean: — you are less beautiful — you are less worthy — you are less lovable — you are a worse human — you are a bad person — you are a different person AND it doesn't even mean you have a bigger body."

The viral photo inspired thousands of people. While a huge majority of the comments were positive, there was still something bugging Elman about the response.

Not everyone was getting the right message.

"Since the creation of this account, I have always been told I'm beautiful 'for my size' and I never wanted to talk about it because I thought I was being pedantic but eventually decided to speak my mind about it," she says in an email.

She decided to create a follow-up post to set a few things straight about what body positivity really means.

In the second post, she took a different approach to the "before and after" shots we see so often on Instagram. People loved it.

In the caption, Elman addresses a couple of things well-meaning people got wrong about the message she was trying to spread. Some commenters said she looked "skinnier" in the 2017 photo which, though meant as a compliment, just reinforces that being skinny is somehow better.

Others said she wasn't fat enough, to which Elman could only scoff.

"If people tell you they are a certain size, believe them," she wrote.

"People think that body positivity is about trying to convince people that bigger bodies are attractive, either physically or sexually," she says.

But that's totally missing the point of what her work is all about.

"If you are still relating your love for your body to society's perception of beauty," she says, "then you are still reliant on someone else's opinion. Body positivity is about saying that you are more than a body and your self-worth is not reliant on your beauty."

Her second post is currently sitting at over 26,500 likes on Instagram — a clear sign that this is a message many of us desperately needed to hear.


This article originally appeared seven years ago.



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They thought their son lived an isolated life. But when he died, friends showed up in droves.

Mats Steen's parents were shocked to learn their severely disabled son had lived a rich, independent life they knew nothing about.

Netflix/YouTube

Mats Steen lived a secret life that his family only discovered after he died.

Mats Steen was only 25 years old when he passed away, his body succumbing to the genetic disease that had slowly taken his mobility since childhood. He'd lived in a wheelchair since his early teens, and by his 20s, his physical abilities had deteriorated to the point of only being able to move his fingers. He could push buttons and use a mouse, and he spent nearly all of his waking hours playing video games in his parents' basement.

His family loved him and cared for him through it all, giving him as much of a normal life as they could. But they also lamented everything they knew he'd missed out on. "Our deepest sorrow lay in the fact that he would never experience friendships, love, or to make a difference in people's lives," Mats' father shares.

Mats left behind the password to a blog he kept. Not knowing if anyone would actually read it, his parents published the news of Mats' passing in a blog post, adding their email address in case anyone wanted to reach out.

Much to their surprise, messages began pouring in from around the world—not just with condolences, but with heartfelt stories from people who called Mats their friend.

The Steens soon discovered that their son had lived a much fuller life than they'd ever imagined—one that included all the things they always wished for him.

As his online life was revealed, the family learned that Mats began his days with a routine 30-minute sprint through the forest. He frequented cafes and pubs, chatting with strangers and flirting with women. He sat by campfires having heart-to-heart conversations. He made friends and enemies. He fought heroic battles. He supported people in times of need. He gave advice that people took. He experienced his first kiss.

And he did it all as "Ibelin," his handsome, muscular avatar in the online game World of Warcraft.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Mats' life is showcased in the documentary, "The Remarkable Life of Ibelin," in which his parents share the story of how they discovered their son's group of friends they didn't know he had.

People who've never played an open world roleplay game like World of Warcraft may wonder how real community can be built through it, but Mats' story proves it's possible. The friends he made through the game have shared the real influence he'd had on their real lives, from helping them with problems they were facing to empowering them to make positive changes in their relationships.

Though he never met them face-to-face, Mats' online friends say he made a significant impact on them.

A young woman Ibelin had connected with as a teenager—the one with whom he'd shared that first virtual kiss—shared that her parents had taken away her computer when they feared gaming was interfering with her studies. When she logged on at a local library, Mats gave her a letter he had written to give to her parents, encouraging them to talk with her about her gaming hobby and to work out a solution together that didn't require her to give it up completely. She printed it and gave it to them. Miraculously, it worked.

Another woman had been having a hard time connecting with her autistic son as a young adult. When she talked with Ibelin about her struggles, he suggested that she and her son start gaming together and connect in that way first. Eventually, that connection via the virtual world led to warmer in-person interactions between them—and a life-changing shift in their relationship.

"I don't think he was aware of the impact that he had done to a lot of people," the mother shared.

Mats interacted with the same online friends as Ibelin for years, going through the kinds of ups and downs all real friendships experience. He kept his physical condition a secret until close to the end of his life, when he finally opened up to another player who convinced him to share his reality with the others. Some traveled from other countries to attend his funeral, with one of them speaking on the group's behalf and a few of them serving as pallbearers. Those who knew Ibelin also held a memorial in-game at his virtual gravesite—a tradition that has spread beyond just his own guild.

Typically, we think of someone escaping the real world and spending hours a day playing video games as unhealthy, but for Mats, it was a lifeline. As Ibelin, Mats was able to have a level of independence and a rich social life that simply wasn't possible for him in the offline world—an uniquely modern phenomenon that technology and human creativity have made possible.

Mats' impact on his online community was real, and 10 years after his passing his impact is spreading even further.

Duchenne muscular dystrophy, the genetic disease that Mats lived with and ultimately died from, affects 300,000 boys worldwide. It only affects males and it has no cure. But CureDuchenne, a global nonprofit dedicated to funding and finding a cure, has partnered with Blizzard and World of Warcraft in Mats' honor. From now until January 7, 2025, World of Warcraft players can purchase a limited-edition pet fox named Reven ("fox" in Norwegian). The Reven Pack, which includes a transmog backpack and Reven’s Comfy Carrier, costs $20, with 100% of the purchase price being donated to CureDuchenne.

The Reven Pack on World of Warcraft—100% of purchase cost goes to the CureDuchenne foundation.World of Warcraft/CureDuchenne

“Mats Steen lived a life in World of Warcraft that he couldn’t in the real world as he fought Duchenne muscular dystrophy alongside his incredible family, who I’m proud to have met and fallen in love with,”said Holly Longdale, executive producer of World of Warcraft. “Working with CureDuchenne for our Charity Pet Program, in honor of Mats’ memory, allows us to harness the power of our phenomenal global community to bring meaningful impact to so many lives.”

You can learn more about Mats' story in the award-winning documentary, "The Remarkable Life of Ibelin," on Netflix and learn more about the CureDuchenne fundraising initiative with World of Warcraft here.

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Golden Years

75-year-old ‘hip-hop granny’ impresses and inspires with her dance moves

Ms. Stephanie didn’t even start formal dance lessons until she was almost 30.

@fiercefitnessty/TikTok

Ms. Stephanie bringing it at her hip-hop class.

Stephanie Walsh isn't your average hip-hop dancer. At 75, "Ms. Stephanie" is still able to hold her own on the dance floor, popping and locking with people a third her age, and she loves it. When you see her dance—and her enviable muscle tone—you might think she'd been a trained dancer all her life. But she actually didn't take any formal dance lessons until she was almost 30.

Walsh told Growing Bolder that she had wanted her daughter to dance when she was little, so she got her ballet lessons, which the daughter hated. Realizing that dancing was her dream and not her daughter's, Walsh took her kiddo out of ballet and started classes herself right away. She had always loved to dance and developing her skills only led to more and more dancing.

These days, Ms. Stephanie gets her dance moves on at Fusion Fitness, where she encourages people to "dance like EVERYONE is watching." One video of her dancing at Fusion has gone viral multiple times, and it's easy to see why. Check this out:

@fiercefitnessty

Reposting this video of Ms.Stephanie & I since it going viral again. This video will always be a vibe. One thing Ms.Stephanie and I created was magic. We dance from our hearts. My classes are always about creating a Fierce vibe for everyone to show up and show out! . #fiercefitness #dancefit #fiercefitnessty #hiphopfitness #fyp #viral

"Reposting this video of Ms.Stephanie & I since it going viral again," shared @fiercefitnessty on TikTok. "This video will always be a vibe. One thing Ms.Stephanie and I created was magic. We dance from our hearts. My classes are always about creating a Fierce vibe for everyone to show up and show out!"

It's not just the dancing. It's the intensity. It's the full presence in the moment in her face and in her movements. She's there for it, and she brings everybody with her.

"It’s the “I’m a badass” facial expression for me! ☺️" wrote one commenter on Facebook.

"I dislocated my shoulder just watching that 🤣🤣👌🏼" shared another.

"She can throw it back like the rest of them. You go girl!" shared another.

Walsh shared that dancing has helped her get through many difficult periods in her life. Watch her share her story:


Love it when people prove that age truly is just a number.

The studio set up a fan page for Ms. Stephanie on Instagram, where you can see more of her joyful dancing here.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Modern Families

Seth Rogen was asked a question about being childless that men never get. His answer was honest.

It's not for everybody.

Stephen McCarthy/Collision via Sportsfile/Wikimedia Commons

Seth Rogen on stage during the opening night of Collision 2019 at Enercare Center in Toronto, Canada.

Childless women in the public eye are often plagued by the question: “So, why don’t you have any children?” It’s a deeply personal question that cuts right to the bone, and there can be many answers. But, if the woman doesn’t want children and says so publicly, she is bound to face some judgment.

"[I don't] like [the pressure] that people put on me, on women—that you've failed yourself as a female because you haven't procreated. I don't think it's fair," Jennifer Aniston told Allure. "You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn't mean you aren't mothering—dogs, friends, friends' children."

On the Monday, March 6 episode of “The Diary Of A CEO” podcast, host Steven Bartlett asked actor Seth Rogen about why he’s childless, and it was a rare moment where a man in the public eye was challenged on the topic. Rogen gave a thoughtful explanation for his and Lauren Miller’s decision to be child-free.


Rogen and Miller were married in 2011.

“There's a whole huge thing I'm not doing, which is raising children,” Rogen told Bartlett. The host attempted to play devil’s advocate and asked Rogen if he considered whether having children might have made him and his wife “happier.”

“I don't think it would,” Rogen responded.

Then, as if anticipating the question, the “Pineapple Express” star upended one of the arguments that people who have children often make: that people who don’t have children have no idea what it’s like.

“I've been around obviously a lot of children; I'm not ignorant to what it’s like…Everyone I know has kids. I'm 40, you know? I know,” Rogen said. “Some of my friends have had kids for decades. Some people want kids, some people don't want kids.”

He added that many people seem to have kids without considering the issue.

“I mean, a lot of people have kids before they even think about it, from what I've seen, honestly,” he said. “You just are told, you go through life, you get married, you have kids—it’s what happens.”

Rogen and his wife have only grown stronger in their decision and they believe that it has helped their relationship.

“Now, more than anything, the conversation is like, ‘Honestly, thank God we don’t have children,’” he continued. “We get to do whatever we want.”

“We are in the prime of our lives. We are smarter than we've ever been, we understand ourselves more than we ever have, we have the capacity to achieve a level of work and a level of communication and care for one another, and a lifestyle we can live with one another that we've never been able to live before. And we can just do that, and we don't have to raise a child—which the world does not need right now,” Rogen concluded.

Everyone has the right to choose whether or not to have children, and no one has the right to judge them. Rogen and Miller have thought their decision through and should be applauded for living how they see fit. It’s cool to see Rogen with such a thoughtful opinion on the matter. It’d be even cooler if celebrities never had to discuss the topic in the first place.


This article originally appeared last year.

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