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14 unique 'body muses' celebrate their bodies for what they do — not what they look like.

"We hope ... each diverse story will topple the idea that there is one body narrative we should all aspire to."

What's the difference between focusing on what your body does...

Images via iStock.

...vs. focusing on how your body looks?

A lot.

Clinical psychologist Stacey Rosenfeld told Mic that "mothers who help their daughters focus on what their bodies can do versus how they appear — a shift from body as object to body as subject — are likely to see their daughters develop a more positive body image."

Focusing on what your body can do = more positive body image.

Yes! To! That!

No to ads like this.

All images via mybodydoes/Instagram , used with permission.

But you see that sticker in the corner there?

It doesn't like all this body-shaming in the media, either. And using stickers like this is one way women and men are starting to tell a different story about what makes a body good.

My Body Does and its followers have started to place stickers over ads that tell us we should look a certain way to be happy.

NOPE. Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

The platform of My Body Does started out as a sticker campaign, but it's transforming into a space for women and men to reclaim the story that gets told about their bodies. It's a space to celebrate every story, every body — and even to tell your own!

According to founders Jess Andersen and Ashley Simon:

"We started My Body Does because we felt assaulted by the sexist ads we encountered all over the city — especially in the NYC subways — and we wanted to place something over those ads that was more positive, meaningful, and something that made us feel like we were being heard."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

My Body Does is exactly what it sounds like: a platform that celebrates all bodies ... and what they do! It's kind of awesome to see.

Multiple long-term studies have shown that losing weight doesn't necessarily make you healthier (YES REALLY). And on top of that, more studies have shown being called fat doesn't make children healthier — it actually makes them more prone to obesity.

This stuff has got to stop. How?

We need to start telling different stories.

In that crazy New Year's atmosphere of "YOUR BODY NEEDS TO CHANGE," My Body Does' vibe...

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

...is a nice alternative, I think!

"We realized that body positivity isn't just about body image, it's about all the stories we are being told about our bodies and what they should look like, act like, and feel like."

Founders Ashley and Jessica. Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

To combat all the crazy stories we're told by the media about how our body should look, My Body Does started the #MyBodyMuse series on their Instagram.

They feature a real human being with a body (no ghosts, sorry) and ask them to tell its story.

"We see the series as a small way for people to claim their own body narrative. We hope that as the series grows, each diverse story will topple the idea that there is one body narrative we should all aspire to."

Here are 14 of the #MyBodyMuses, their stories, and their own personal inspirational sayings. What's yours?

Each person was asked a few different questions, from "What do you like about your body?" to "If your body was your friend, how would you describe it?"

Here are their answers. If you want to learn more about them, click on the links below their photos.

Muse #1

"I love that this body is mine. Whether I am dancing naked in the moonlight on the beach or eating ramen on my living room floor, it is my choice. I get to choose what I do with this temple, and that freedom is incredibly empowering to me."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

"We think women in particular aren’t asked what makes them feel good or what makes them feel present in their bodies, so we’ve gotten a really positive response to that question."

Muse #2

"I love that my body never lies. I especially love my face and my taste buds. While there are times I wish an emotion didn't show, my face always does all the talking. Being able to wake up every morning and stretch every muscle is the best gift I can ask for."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #3

"I love how my body lets me communicate with people not using words."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #4

"I am inspired by teaching yoga to older women, even a 94 year old amazing lady whose mantra is 'I am alive and kicking!' Like many women, I often don't like what I see in the mirror, but I take a breath, put on my smile and am grateful for today."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #5

What do you like about your body?

"I am learning to love everything about it. What I like most is its ability to support me no matter what. My body always loves me no matter how I treat it. I love that it gave me two healthy boys."

If your body were a friend, how would you describe it?

"Funny, supportive, and Uber flexible."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #6

"I like the way my body moves. I like the way it absorbs music and lets beats and melodies run through every ounce of my being. And I like how my body tells me what it needs if I really listen!"

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #7

"I love all the ways every part of me feels alive when I'm dancing. I think dance is one of the purest forms of self-expression and connection to oneself and others; I'm so grateful my body urges me to do it whenever it can!"

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

"Over the last few years I've really started feeling more comfortable in my skin, largely because I've gotten better at moving towards the things that make me feel good (dancing, laughing, running, yoga, sometimes just loafing around) and away from the things that make me feel crummy (negativity; most women's mags)."

"Mainstream media is presenting one narrative about bodies (with some token diversity thrown in), that's so obviously damaging to our sense of worth that at times it's laughable."

Muse #8

"My body has been my partner in crime since day one. It's a world-traveling, cheese-eating, hug-giving, sports-loving, currently sleep-deprived, bundle of goodness and I wouldn't change a thing (not even these curvy hips)."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #9

"I love my eyes, because they remind me of my mom's. I love my feet, because they take me places and help me dance. I love my boobs because they're soft and pretty and asymmetrical and make me feel feminine and powerful. I used to feel at war with my body, but now I try to honor and celebrate it as much as possible."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #10

"I love that my body can sing and dance and make people feel something when they see me perform."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #11

"I like that my body still lets me behave like a kid, hopping up onto countertops to reach high items, and exchanging piggy-back rides."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #12

If your body were your friend, how would you describe it?

"She's that pretty needy friend that gets upset if you don't call for a while, and it's annoying because sometimes you need space. But then when you are having a breakdown she's right there and you remember all the reasons you love her."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #13

What does body positivity mean to you?

"To me it means practicing gratitude for whatever privilege I can enjoy through my body; appreciating my senses, my mobility, just all these different abilities that enable me to explore and fully enjoy life."

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Muse #14

"I love that my body is so strong and sturdy! I am a little clumsy and I sometimes trip, fall or roll my ankle. But because I have this solid, thick structure, I never end up hurting myself! And I just love my thick thighs that power me through so much! Whether it be running, hiking, biking and my favorite activity, dancing, my legs never disappoint!"

Image via mybodydoes/Instagram.

Don't you kinda feel better? It worked for me, that's all I can say.

Imagine a world where everyone, young and old, is able to describe what their body would be like if it were their friend. I know it's cheesy, but that's a world I wanna live in.

I'm sharing this because the stories these women tell make a lot of sense to me ... and they're what I want the people in my life to see and hear.

We asked the founders of My Body Does about what a new year's resolution should look like. After strongly stating that they're not in the "tell you what to do with your body or your life" game, they came up with this:

"At least commit yourself to begin the work of sifting through some of the things you think or feel about your body, deciding what's not for you, what's a story that has been pressed onto you from the outside."

Tell your body's own story ... and not someone else's version. That's a resolution anyone can stick with. No gym membership required. ;)

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Woman's viral Tiktok shows the huge difference in size 14 jeans, all from Old Navy - Upworthy ›

Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption

Family

Joe grew up without stability. Now, he’s giving 10 adopted sons the home he never had.

“I want my boys to know that no matter what, they have a place to belong.”

True

Like many children who are placed in foster care across the United States, Joe’s childhood was marked by chaos and a struggle to survive.

Joe still remembers neglect and abuse being part of his daily reality. Often left to care for his younger siblings alone, Joe grew up far too quickly.

He and his brothers were placed in the New York foster care system at an early age. And when he aged out of foster care at 21, he had no family to turn to for support.

“Statistically, I should be in jail, or I could be dead,” Joe said. “But that’s not my destiny.”

Today, Joe is determined to change the trajectory for young people lingering in foster care … as an adoptive parent and as an advocate, raising awareness along with organizations like the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

A complex problem with an evidence-based solution

More than 100,000 children in the U.S. foster care system are waiting for a safe, permanent home. But the sad reality is that thousands will “age out” of the system between 18 and 21, stepping into adulthood without support, guidance or a safety net.

The consequences of this can be devastating. Youth who leave foster care without the support of a forever family are much more likely to experience negative outcomes, including homelessness, unemployment, substance abuse and early, unplanned parenthood.

Through its signature program, Wendy’s Wonderful Kids®, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is working to be a part of the solution across the U.S. and Canada. Through this program, the Foundation supports the hiring of adoption professionals — known as recruiters — who serve children most at risk of aging out of foster care, including older children, children with special needs and siblings.

Wendy’s Wonderful Kids recruiters use an evidence-based, child-focused model, identifying trusted adults in the child’s network who may be open to adoption — and research shows that it works. A five-year, national evaluation showed that children referred to the program are up to three times more likely to be adopted.

Changing the journey for a new generation

Xavier was 18 and at risk of aging out of foster care without family support when he met Joe.

“My biggest fear was that I was going to age out and not know how to be sufficient on my own,” Xavier said. But Joe adopted Xavier just weeks before he was set to age out of the system. In the years that followed, Joe adopted from foster care again. And again.

Today, Joe is a father to 10 sons, seven of whom were adopted with help from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption.

“Meeting my boys has put them on a different path,” Joe said. “Wendy’s Wonderful Kids was a real support and guide to being able to do what I try to do: making sure they have the tools to survive.”

“For me, it’s been beautiful to see that [my brothers are] spreading out to go live their own lives,” Xavier said. “It’s something [Joe] has prepared us for. He gave us the mentality that we could do whatever we want.”

Writing a new ending

After aging out of foster care, Joe managed to defy the odds, graduating from college and becoming a school counselor. Still, despite his own success story, he knows that many children who spend time in foster care aren’t as fortunate.

Joe hopes providing a “home base” for his sons means a brighter future for them.

“Here, we have people you can call your family — your brothers, your father,” Joe said. “Everybody, no matter where they are, knows that they can come home.”

Learn more about the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and how you can help find forever families for more children lingering in foster care right now.

Modern Families

51-year-old empty nester who struggled to declutter her house shares 8 tips that finally worked

"Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house."

empty nester, empty nesters, declutter, decluttering, decluttering tips

Photo credit: Canva

Mom and empty nester shares her tips for decluttering her home.

Deep cleaning and decluttering a home is a daunting task—especially for empty nesters. After spending a lifetime creating memories and living together under one roof, doing a big declutter can take an emotional toll.

It's a milestone that many empty nesters know the sting of. And in an cleaning community on Reddit, a 51-year-old mom and recent empty nester shared her experience cleaning and decluttering her home after entering this new phase of life.

"In my entire life, my house has always been messy. I mean, I didn’t have a disaster-level situation going on, but if someone dropped by unannounced, it would’ve been super embarrassing," she shared. "When my kids were younger, we had a housekeeper because I just couldn’t keep up. Now that we’re empty nesters, I realized I never really learned how to keep house."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She explained that the book Unf*ck Your Habitat: You're Better Than Your Mess played an integral part in helping her declutter—and offered eight helpful tips to fellow empty nesters looking to organize their new lives.

1. Put stuff away, not down.

Her first tip is the key to decluttering.

"Whatever you have goes right back where it’s supposed to go when I’m done with it," she notes.

2. Do laundry every day.

And she doesn't just wash and dry her laundry when doing it.

"Just one load, start to finish. Wash, dry, fold, and put away," she shares. "Also, no chair or floor laundry. It gets put in the hamper or hung back up. No clothes are ever out."

3. I make the bed every day.

The benefits keep on giving by doing this, she notes.

"It just makes my bedroom look cleaner and I smile every time I come in my room," she writes. "Plus we aren’t fighting over the covers when we get in because the bed is straightened out."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Do a quick daily clean-up of commonly used spaces.

She cleans the places that she and her husband use frequently.

"I keep a stack of cleaning rags in my master bath because it’s the only bathroom that’s used every single day. Every night, I spray the counter, wipe everything down, put everything back (that my husband leaves out), and wipe the mirror," she explains. "I also wipe down the toilet. I find that I don’t need a huge, big cleaning of this space because I’m keeping it up daily. Same goes for the kitchen."

5. Dishes are always put away, cabinet or dishwasher.

No dishes in the sink or stuck in the dishwasher.

"Dishes are finished in the dishwasher? It’s emptied and dirty ones are placed inside while waiting for the dishwasher to get full," she notes.

@brunchwithbabs
Life Changing Dishwasher Hack #tutorials #kitchenhacks #parentsoftiktok #dishwasherhack

6. Don't neglect your shoes.

When she takes them off, they get put away.

"Shoes are put away immediately upon walking in the house," she shares.

7. Knock out small tasks.

There is no time to waste.

"If it takes less than 5 minutes clean it while you’re waiting for something else to get done," she writes.

8. Take no days off.

Rather than assign certain days for cleaning, she is constantly doing it throughout the week.

"Lastly, I do not have scheduled cleaning days. I just do something all the time," she explains. "My life is kind of unpredictable, we love traveling or going out for the day so my so called cleaning schedule would be shot to hell every time. It’s better this way, because now I never feel behind."

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Education

The most likable people share a trait that is nearly impossible to fake

It's not about impressing people.

work, coworkers, laughing, computer, people having fun, coffee

via Canva/Photos

Coworkers laughing around the computer.

On Upworthy, we do a lot of stories on people skills to help people feel comfortable in social situations and make new friends. Across all our articles, we’ve found that people tend to like those who are interested in them, not those who go out of their way to impress. We’ve found that those who make a great first impression listen more than they talk and ask a lot of questions. We’ve also found that the kids who had the most friends in high school all have one thing in common: they like a lot of people back.

When you boil it all down, it comes to one big idea: People with excellent communication skills and who are well-liked make others feel seen. Having great people skills means being able to focus on others rather than ourselves, giving them our undivided attention, and showing genuine interest. When likable people talk to others, they make them feel like the only person in the room.

Likable people make others feel seen

“Whether it's a colleague, client, barista, or neighbor, highly likable people consistently show genuine interest and curiosity in other people. They don't throw around big gestures or declarations—they do it through small, everyday habits that signal warmth, attentiveness, and respect,” Lorraine K. Lee, an award-winning keynote speaker and best-selling author of Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influence, and Catapult Your Career, tells CNBC Make It.

5 ways to make other people feel seen

work, coworkers, laughing, people having fun, coffee Coworkers laughing in the hallway. via Canva/Photos

1. Match their emotional tone

One of the hallmarks of emotional intelligence is the ability to match others' emotional tone, which shows you are connected to them. If they’re smiling, you should be smiling; if they are feeling down, you don’t necessarily have to share the same emotions, but you should reflect their energy. Laughter matters, too. If they have a big laugh, then you should have one, too. In fact, matching laughter is such a strong indicator of emotional intelligence that NASA uses it to choose its astronauts.

2. Remember the small stuff

If you’re talking to someone at a party who you haven’t seen in a while, bring up something from the last time you spoke to show them you recall your last conversation. “How did that job interview go? I know you were up for a promotion,” or “I know you were planning on going to Europe, did you visit France?” This is also great in a professional setting when you remember your coworkers' children's names or ask how their mother is doing after surgery.

date, first date, man and woman, drinks, great tonversation, communications tips A man and woman enjoying a conversation.via Canva/Photos

3. Be a receptive listener

People who make others feel seen practice active listening so the person they're talking to knows they have their full attention. Active listeners don’t wait for their time to jump in and say something; they often reflect what the person is saying to show they understand them and are making a connection. Reflective listening involves two important techniques: mirroring and paraphrasing. “Mirroring involves repeating key phrases back to the speaker (‘I'm really upset that I missed my bus this morning.’ ‘You missed your bus.’) Paraphrasing involves repeating a rephrased version of what they've said (‘I'm really upset I missed my bus this morning.’ ‘You were upset about being late.’),” the University of New South Wales writes.

4. See them beyond their role

“People want to be recognized as whole humans—not just 'coworker,’ ‘parent,’ or ‘barista.’ Use their name, ask about their life outside their label, and notice who they are beyond what they do,” Lee writes. This way of seeing things also opens us up to better conversations. You don’t have to talk to the accountant at work about finances or another parent at the soccer game about the school your kids attend. By opening up the conversation to something more personal, people will feel seen.

5. Give credit to others

Whenever you have a moment in the spotlight, whether it’s receiving praise for a great campaign you just ran at work, or talking to your family at Christmas about how wonderful dinner was, spread the love around. When discussing your achievements, give others some credit. “Thanks for loving the turkey, you know, Grace made the stuffing,” or “The Target campaign did really well, it was Will who thought of the tagline.” Giving credit builds trust in others and makes them want to work with you.

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Popular

15 old-school casserole recipes that feel like home for boomers and Gen Xers

Tried-and-true one-pan dinners from back in the day.

casserole, casseroles, casserole recipe, casserole recipes, gen x, boomers

Image via Reddit/MyDogGoldi

Vintage casserole recipes from Gen X and boomer childhoods.

Childhood dishes can take you straight back to your seat at the family dinner table. Comfort meals that were served there are uber nostalgic. And there is one dish represents the epitome of Gen X and baby boomer childhoods: casseroles.

These one-dish wonders were loaded with flavor and baked to perfection. Pulled straight from the oven to the dinner table, casseroles filled the house with the smell of unique home-cooked recipes.

And while most of us are eating casseroles today at Thanksgiving, Gen Xers and boomers grew up eating casseroles on the reg.

Here are 15 old-school casserole recipes that Redditors grew up eating, which are just as yummy today:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Chicken casseroles

Fancy Fast Chicken casserole

"Fancy Fast Chicken is delicious and so simple. Line up chicken breasts in a casserole dish. Dump uncooked stuffing over top the chicken breasts. Pour Cream of Mushroom (Onion or chicken works too) and incorporate it into the stuffing. Top with cheese of your choice, and fried onions if you're inclined. Bake at 350 for 45min or until chicken is thoroughly cooked." - Applepoisoneer

Chicken Curry Divan casserole

"My favorite is Chicken Curry Divan. A friend made it for me in college 40 years ago and it is a favorite to this day. Never disappoints. Many people have asked me for the recipe over the years. My best friends kids now that they are grown have each approached me for it.

1 1/2 lbs chicken breast tenders cooked and cut into bite sized pieces
3 cups broccoli in bite sized pieces
2 cans Cream of Chicken soup
1 cup mayonnaise (must be Mayo)
2 tsp curry
Juice of 1 lemon
Shredded sharp cheddar (use the amount you like o like a nice even cover of the top)
3/4 cup crushed Ritz crackers
3 tbsp melted butter
In 9x13” baking pan layer chicken then broccoli.

Mix the soup, Mayo, lemon juice and curry together well, pour over chicken broccoli mixture evenly and smooth out. Sprinkle cheese over top evenly. Crush crackers fine, mix in melted butter well and sprinkle evenly over top. Cook at 375° for 25-30 minutes until bubbly and top brown. Serve with rice." - karinchup

Chicken and Rice casserole

"This baked rice & cheese casserole has become a staple in our house! It’s great as a side dish, or I’ll add rotisserie chicken and serve it as a main dish." - anchovypepperonitoni

Chicken & Dumplings casserole

"The secret of this is not to stir anything. That's what makes your dumplings. When you dish it out, you have your dumplings on top.
2 chicken breasts, cooked and shredded; 2 cups chicken broth; 1/2 stick of butter; 2 cups Bisquick mix; 2 cups whole milk; 1 can cream of chicken soup; 1/2 medium onion, minced; 1 cup frozen peas; 3 tsp chicken Better Than Bouillon; 1/2 tsp dried sage; 1 tsp black pepper; 1/2 tsp salt.

(1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees
(2) Layer 1 - In 9x13 casserole dish, melt 1/2 stick of butter. Spread shredded chicken over butter. Sprinkle black pepper and dried sage over this layer. Do not stir.
(3) Layer 2 - Sprinkle minced onions and peas over chicken
(4) Layer 3 - In small bowl, mix milk and Bisquick. Slowly pour all over chicken. Do not stir.
(5) Layer 4 - In medium bowl, whisk together 2 cups of chicken broth, chicken bouillon, and soup. Once blended, slowly pour over the Bisquick layer. Do not stir.
(6) Bake casserole for 30-40 minutes, or until the top is golden brown." - Superb_Yak7074

Chicken broccoli casserole

"I made chicken broccoli casserole last week and that's a favorite here. This is pretty close to how I do it." - gimmethelulz

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Potato casseroles

Funeral Potatoes

"The unfortunately named, funeral potatoes!" - IRLperson

Tater Tot casserole

"Tater tot casserole. My mom made this at least once a week when I was growing up, but she added a quart of green beans to make it a meal. If you brown your ground beef in a good size cast iron skillet, you only dirty up one pan to make it!" - hcynthia1234, upperwareParTAY

Breakfast casserole

"I’m making a breakfast casserole this morning for brunch later—a bag of frozen hash brown potatoes thawed, a pound of sausage sauteed with peppers and onions, a brick of cheese grated, eight eggs beaten with a bit of milk and cream and some salt and pepper. Layer in a casserole, ending with cheese. Bake around an hour at 375." - CWrend

Hamburger pie casserole

"One of my childhood favorites. Did not add vegetables or cheese though. This was an end of the month struggle meal that everyone loved." - DarnHeather

Shepherd's pie casserole

"Shepherd's pie : brown 1.5 lbs ground beef with half a chopped onion, salt and pepper, drain it and then spread into a 13x9 and stir a can of cream of mushroom soup into it. Spread a drained family size can of corn on top, use a container of prepared mashed potatoes for the top layer. Bake for a half hour at 350." - ExplanationLucky1143

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Noodle casseroles

Tuna casserole

"Love my mom's tuna noodle casserole: 1 bag broad egg noodles, 1 can cream of mushroom soup, 2 cans tuna, 1 cup frozen corn or 1 can kernel corn, 2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese, 1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs, 1 tbsp celery salt
Cook noodles per package directions, drain, then place in a 13x9 casserole dish. Mix in cream of mushroom soup, tuna, corn, 1 cup of the cheddar cheese, and celery salt. Top the casserole with the remaining cheese and bread crumbs. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until done enough for you." - Pinkleton

Mock Stroganoff casserole

"Mock stroganoff - brown 1lb ground chuck. Mix in 8 oz sour cream and 1 can cream of mushroom. Add to 1 lb of cooked egg noodles. Season with black pepper. Extras - fresh mushrooms and/or onion cooked with the beef. Any precooked veggies of your choice, peas or broccoli work well. Splash of Worcestershire, soy sauce, or fish sauce. Garlic or onion powder. Parsley, thyme, or cilantro." - Nathan_Saul

Cabbage noodle casserole

"I have a quick cabbage and noodles that uses bagged cole slaw. Cook a bag of noodles. Put aside. Cut up a lb of bacon and a med onion. Cook in pan until bacon is slightly fried and onions are clear. Add cabbage(without carrots) let sit 10 min or so. Add to noodles. It's so easy." - conjas11

@allrecipes
Thanksgiving prep class is now in session! 🍂🧑‍🏫 If there's one thing you need to nail on the big day (other than the turkey, of course), it's Green Bean Casserole. This recipe tastes just like the one your grandmother used to make, if not even better! 😋 Continue reading or click the link in the @allrecipes bio to get the full recipe. Ingredients: 2 (15-ounce) cans cut green beans, drained 1 (10.5-ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup ¾ cup milk 1 (2.8-ounce) can French fried onions salt and ground black pepper to taste Directions: Gather all ingredients. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Mix green beans, condensed cream of mushroom soup, milk, and 1/2 of the fried onions in a 1.5-quart casserole dish. Bake in the preheated oven until heated through and bubbly, about 25 minutes. Sprinkle remaining onions on top and return to the oven for 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Let rest for a few minutes before serving. 🧑‍🍳: Nicole #thanksgiving #greenbeancasserole #greenbeans #thanksgivingsides

Vegetable casseroles

Green bean casserole

"This is the best green bean casserole recipe, it does use the canned onions but you make your own cream of mushroom and it's soooo good. I've made it on random weekends, it's not just a Thanksgiving food. I don't know much about older foods, I just really wanted to share that recipe."

Corn casserole

"Our family Corn custard doesn't have crackers but we double the recipe and there's never any left over. 2 eggs, 1 cup of sweetened condensed milk, 1/2 flour, 2 T soft butter, 1 tsp sugar, 1 can of creamed corn, 1 can of whole corn. Mix all together and bake in a 8x8 about 45 min at 350. Gotta have that!" - Psychological_Bat890

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Mental Health

22-year-old's blunt thoughts on grief after losing her younger brother provide comfort

"I don't feel like I see a ton of young people talking about grief. It's isolating."

grief, loss, sibling loss, losing a loved ones, death

Photo credit: Canva

Grief isn't linear and it isn't neat and tidy.

Anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one knows that grief is weird. It's not linear. It's not simple or straightforward. It's doesn't fit neatly into a box or align with tidy definitions.

Grief is all the more complicated when you lose someone who, by the natural order of things, shouldn't have died. Some deaths are difficult but expected—we know at some point we will lose our grandparents, our parents, and others who are generations older than we are. But when a younger loved one dies, especially when we ourselves are young, there are loads of complex feelings to grapple with.

As 22-year-old TikToker Clara Rose Bell says, "I don't see a lot of young people talking about grief. It's isolating." Bell's younger brother died in June, and she shared some honest musings on her grief journey in a video that's since gone viral. So many people relate to her thoughts, and her articulation of some of the harder parts of grief to put into words is giving comfort.

@notclarabell

Bell begins by saying that she feels like she's supposed to say she "lost" her brother, like she's not supposed to say "he died," but that's what happened.

"Grief is so confusing," Bell says. "I never thought I'd be walking through heavy grief like sibling grief at 22. It's so devastating, honestly. I know you're supposed to like package it up and give people a version of your grief that's like, 'Hard, but getting through it!' you know, 'Hard, but purpose!' Sometimes I don't feel like that. Sometimes I just to be like, 'No, actually, this freaking sucks. This is horrible.'"

But, she says, the first thing people learn about grief is to try to not make people uncomfortable with it. People don't want to be around people who are sad or depressed all the time—it's draining.

"I get that," Bell says. "But that's also kind of grief, though. I spend a lot of time sad. And I hate that that makes me a depressing person to other people."

She says it feels like you're not supposed to talk about grief that much, like you're just supposed to walk through it alone. And a lot of people won't say a word about your loved one's death, perhaps because they don't know what to say and they hope that you'll just process it and move on.

"I'm never going to move on," Bell says. "I will talk about it for the rest of my life. I will grieve it for the rest of my life…there will never be a day that comes when I don't grieve him and don't wish that he were here."

@notclarabell
missing you every second of everyday 💙 my beautiful little brother patrick. The world is cold without you. But I know we’ll see each other again 💙🪽 To know him was to love him, a soul like no other.

She shared that one interesting thing about grief is that it has made her fear death less—not seeking it out, but not being afraid of it, either.

"I'm not afraid of dying," she says. "Sometimes I am afraid of living. Sometimes I'm afraid of living in a world without him, celebrating holidays without him."

And then there's the fact that she's a mom of young children, so she's trying to create beautiful, magical holiday memories for them while at the same time struggling through the "crushingly hard" grief of the first Christmas without her little brother. She knows that every holiday will be "quietly sad."

"I don't feel like I see a ton of young people talking about grief," Bell says. "It's isolating, and it's really isolating to go through at a young age, so I'm going to talk about it."

Bell acknowledges that there are so many people who are grieving and most people wouldn't know.

"Sometimes when I'm at the grocery store and I'm in line, I almost think to myself, 'I wonder if anyone in this line is grieving,' because it feels like a whole other universe that you can't fully understand until you go through it. What it's like to live in devastating grief, to feel like you can't get up, and yet get up."

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Bell shared that the "time heals all wounds" saying doesn't ring true at this point for her. "This is something that feels like it hurts more with time," she says. She takes it day by day, but there's a looming question of how it's going to feel, this missing her brother, years from now if it hurts this much after months.

She says that people's kind words have been "monumental" and "so impactful," even when it's from perfect strangers on the Internet. Seeing that people she doesn't even know, who have no obligation to care about her and her tragedy, will go out of their way to provide thoughtful words of comfort and kindness has her feeling hopeful for the world at large.

"One of my hard grief points is hopelessness for the world," Bell says. "So many bad things are happening. So many people are sad. It's just hard to feel hopeful sometimes. Like, is the world all bad? But it's the little things. How can the world be all bad when people exist that are caring with no obligation to?

Bell says she'll cycle through multiple emotions every hour. "I don't know if I believe so much in the steps of grief as much as it's like a circle of anger, denial, sadness, acceptance, kind of over and over. At least that's how it feels for me a lot of the time."

She also described the pressure she feels to "get over" her grief or to "handle" it, but she's realized that grief is proof of love, or "love with nowhere to go." Sometimes she just wants to be left alone in her sadness, to feel it all because, as she says, "Missing him is the closest I have to having him right now."

Bell does say that getting up to face the day has gotten a little bit easier than it was in the beginning, but some days and moments still feel impossible. "Mostly, I just miss him," she says.

@notclarabell
For me, grief changed the way I live. As hard as it is sometimes, I try to give life my all — to slow down and appreciate things and people in a deeper way. I’m hyper aware of the experiences and opportunities he’ll never get to have, and that hurts more than words can say. Every sunset, every beautiful day, I think of him first — how he would’ve loved it, and how he doesn’t get that chance. Because of that, I live for him. I try to notice every small moment, every person, every gift in my life. To live in the present and remember that our time here is fragile. And to keep finding purpose and meaning, while I have the opportunity to. 🖤

So many people commented with appreciation for Bell putting words to feelings they themselves have gone through in their own grief journeys, especially those who have experienced sibling loss:

"Let me tell you, I’m going on 3 years in December without my little brother. And I cried while watching your video. You never get over it. I miss him so much. I hate that we are able to relate but like you said at least we aren’t going through it alone. Sending love!"

"I lost my brother over 10 years ago who was my best friend💔 & everything you said is true. It never goes away & you just learn to cope better. I miss him everyday. Sometimes I talk about him without crying & other times I barely can get the words out without nearly sobbing. The milestones and holidays are always hard. Sending big hugs and love. 🤍🤍"

"I lost my brother 3 years ago, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s scary and weird and it won’t feel real for a while, the first set of holidays are the hardest and it never really feels right again, but please don’t lose the will to celebrate holidays, birthdays, milestones, etc."

"I lost my sister when she was 18 and I was 20. 10 years later and I’m still not over it. It was right before the holidays too. I remember my mom calling us saying she was at the store and she forgot what she buys for thanksgiving dinner. My brothers and I laughed but looking back I think it was a huge moment of grief for her and I still think about that so much."

"Sibling loss is one of the worst and hardest thing i’ve ever had to go through, it’s confusing and so so unfair. everything you said is so completely valid."

When we share our experiences and put them into words, it helps others find expression for their own feelings. That's extra important for grief, which is particularly complicated. It's also important to know that we're never alone in our grief—sometimes we just need a reminder.

You can follow Clara Rose Bell on TikTok.

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Parenting

Parents share the 'one simple habit' that made their lives run so much smoother

Parenting is hard work, but these tiny tweaks can make all the difference.

parents, parenting tips, parenting advice, parenting hacks, life hacks, kids, routines, self improvement

Photo credit: Canva

Family sharing a joyful conversation on the couch.

When parents are pushed to the limit (which, let’s face it, is pretty much all the time) the last thing they need is some newfangled, overly complicated way of doing things, no matter how life changing others claim it is.

Luckily, making our lives a little smoother isn’t contingent on a complete overhaul of our current routines. In truth, it’s the smallest, simplest tweaks that often have the biggest impact. Just ask the parents who implemented them.

Over on Reddit’s parenting forum, a mom going through what she called her “simplify everything” era shared how just doing a little breakfast prep the night before and switching up screen-time rules made the “whole week feel lighter.”

It made her curious about what was working similarly well for other families, so she posed the question: “What’s a small change that’s made a big difference for you as a parent lately?” and the answers did not disappoint.

From scheduling tweaks to go-to bedtime practices to helpful pieces of self-talk (not to mention a whoooooole lotta laundry hacks) it’s easy to see how these tweaks could add back some much needed peace in the day. And when parents are often just trying to get through the day, any bit helps.

Check out the answers below:

“Shared family calendar app. This helps eliminate some of the mental load it takes with planning appointments, family plans, etc. My husband sees when I schedule things in real time and vice versa, which helps reduce the “what are we doing today” type of questions. 😅We also divide and conquer during morning and evening routines. For example, one of us will help get the kids ready while the other sets up breakfast, coffee and whatever else is needed to get us out of the house on time.”

“Replaced all the kids socks with plain white whites so I don’t have to worry when one goes missing (bc we seem to lose a sock a week!) and keep them in a bin next to our shoe bin downstairs. Super simple to do and somehow has saved my sanity.”

parents, parenting tips, parenting advice, parenting hacks, life hacks, kids, routines, self improvement Colorful knitted socks hanging on display.Photo credit: Canva

“I’m a therapist and there’s a motto in the field — ‘the slower you go, the faster you get there.’ I’ve been applying this to my time with my two year old. Any hurrying, frenetic energy just ultimately slows down the process. Slowing down and prioritizing connection makes a world of difference.”

“I have stopped folding her clothes because she digs through the drawers and destroys the folds anyway.”

“Setting alarms for EVERYTHING.”

“My elementary kids are in a bunch of after school activities. I basically have a big kid diaper bag in the car - snacks, extra water bottles, first aid kid, headphones, coloring books, hair ties, etc. I try to replenish the night before and it makes 2-5pm go much smoother.”

“We try to always have a container of chopped veggies in the fridge. Sometimes with hummus sometimes a favorite dressing sometimes nothing additional. When they ask to have something to eat, they go there first. If I’m prepping dinner I pull that out and put it on the table. They don’t pester me about when time dinner will be ready. If I’m making something my son doesn’t like as much, he fills up mostly on raw veggies and only has a little bit of dinner. It’s so easy to do and it’s is awesome I can’t complain that they’re eating veg.”

parents, parenting tips, parenting advice, parenting hacks, life hacks, kids, routines, self improvement Little one enjoying a crunchy carrot snack! 🥕Photo credit: Canva

“We keep our home simple and minimalist, it gives the kids more space to play and fewer things to break or turn into hazards.”

“Squatting/sitting on the floor with my almost 2yo twins instead of picking them up when they want me.”

“This might be controversial but we don't do pajamas. Meaning we have no distinction between daytime and night time clothing. Kids are 4 and 1. Before bed, I change them into clean clothes and those are the clothes they wear the next day. They don't have any clothes that would be uncomfortable to sleep in. Poor kids have a whole life ahead of them to wear hard pants, why introduce it now.”

“I just started making my bed everyday after purchasing a nice comforter to make my bed look nice and it really helps me feel like I’m having a productive start to the day!”

“Cutting my hair short.”

parents, parenting tips, parenting advice, parenting hacks, life hacks, kids, routines, self improvement Fresh haircut underway in the salon.Photo credit: Canva

“Setting up an activity for my 3 year old at night, so it's ready when he wakes up. It gives him something to play with when he's awake but still a little cranky, and it's usually an independent activity he can do while we get breakfast ready.”

“One thing that I find helpful both at home and work is to say either out loud to a coworker or my partner or other parent, or inside my head, is ‘the noise is better than quiet, this is part of development.’"

“Trying to leave 10 minutes before we actually need to.”

“I ask myself, ‘is it dangerous or inconvenient?’ before answering a question. I find myself saying no because I don’t want to deal with the mess, which is still totally valid sometimes but not all the time. I want to say yes when it’s possible so that my no holds more value.”

“Honestly? Lightening the f**k up. I have a 4 year old and a 4 month old, it's easy to get wrapped up in sticking to a schedule I've made up. Lately though I've been reminding myself to lighten the f**k up. My 4YO wants to dress herself? Fine. She wants to ‘wash dishes’ after taking her breakfast bowl to the sink? Whatever. I've worked more time into our routines so that I don't feel so rushed.”

parents, parenting tips, parenting advice, parenting hacks, life hacks, kids, routines, self improvement Joyful laughter under the sun.Photo credit: Canva

“Honestly I just say out loud to my kids ‘today is going to be a great day!!!’ as we’re getting ready in the morning chaos and somehow that seems to help keep my brain on track and positive, something I struggle with.”

It should go without saying that none of these hacks would work for every single family. But a major common denominator among all of them is that they began from a mindset shift of working within certain limitations rather than forcing things to be drastically different. Which is a great lesson for parents and non-parents alike, honestly.

Perhaps the biggest takeaway of all, even if you do none of these things, is to find what simple change is doable for your family, right here, right now. What you can do in between the soccer drop-offs and that 47th load of dishes…that sort of thing. Even incorporating a different motto can reclaim a sense of peace.

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