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101 ways to take care of yourself when the world feels overwhelming.

A therapist shares small ways to practice self-care.

I think that, for most of us, there are times in life when it all just feels like Too Much.

There may be some days, weeks, months, maybe even years when — for whatever reason — just getting through the day or going to work or putting one foot in front of the other feels hard. Really, really hard.

Photo via iStock.

Maybe it’s because you’re wrestling with anxiety, depression, or some other mental illness.

Maybe it’s because you’ve had your heart broken. Maybe you’ve gone through a physical or emotional trauma. Maybe you’re deeply grieving. Or maybe there’s no easily understood reason for why you’re feeling bad.

Whatever the case, I want you to know that it’s OK if you’re going through a tough time.

This doesn’t make you any less lovable, worthy, or capable. This just means you’re human. Being a human can be a messy, hard, confusing, painful experience sometimes.

So if you or someone you love is going through one of these tough times right now, a time where it all just feels like too much, I want to offer up 101 suggestions for self-care to help you or your loved one get through this time.

Photo via iStock.

1. Have a good, long, body-shaking cry.

2. Call a trusted friend or family member and talk it out.

3. Call in sick. Take comp time if you can. Take a mental health day.

4. Say no to extra obligations, chores, or anything that pulls on your precious self-care time.

5. Book a session (or more!) with your therapist.

6. Dial down your expectations of yourself at this time. When you’re going through life’s tough times, I invite you to soften your expectations of yourself and others.

7. Tuck yourself into bed early with a good book and clean sheets.

8. Watch a comforting/silly/funny/lighthearted TV show or movie. ("Parks and Recreation," anyone?)

9. Reread your favorite picture and chapter books from childhood.

10. Ask for some love and tenderness from your friends on social media. Let them comment on your post and remind you that you’re loved.

11. Look at some some really gorgeous pieces of art.

12. Watch YouTube videos of Ellen DeGeneres and the adorable kids she has on her show.

13. Look at faith-in-humanity-restoring lists from around the internet.

14. Ask for help. From whomever you need it — your boss, your doctor, your partner, your therapist, your mom. Let people know you need some help.

15. Wrap yourself up in a cozy fleece blanket and sip a cup of hot tea.

16. Breathe. Deeply. Slowly. Four counts in. Six counts out.

17. Hydrate. Have you had enough water today?

18. Eat. Have you eaten something healthy and nourishing today?

19. Sleep. Have you slept seven to nine hours? Is it time for some rest?

20. Shower. Then dry your hair and put on clothes that make you feel good.

21. Go outside and be in the sunshine.

22. Move your body gently in ways that feel good. Maybe aim for 30 minutes. Or 10 minutes if 30 feels like too much.

23. Read a story (or stories) of people who overcame adversity or maybe dealt with mental illness, too. (I personally admire J.K. Rowling’s story.)

24. Go to a 12-step meeting. Or any group meeting where support is offered. Check out church listings, hospital listings, or school listings, for example.

25. If you suspect something may be physiologically off with you, go see your doctor and/or psychiatrist and talk to them. Medication might help you at this time, and professionals can assist you in assessing this.

26. Take a long, hot bath. Light a candle and pamper yourself.

27. Read inspirational quotes.

28. Cuddle someone or something. Your partner. A pillow. Your friend’s dog.

29. Read previous emails, postcards, letters, etc. from friends and family reminding you of happier times.

30. Knit. Sculpt. Bake. Engage your hands.

31. Exhaust yourself physically — running, yoga, swimming, whatever helps you feel fatigued.

32. Write it out. Go free-form in a journal or on a computer. Get it all out and vent.

33. Create a plan if you’re feeling overwhelmed. List out what you need to do next to tackle and address whatever you’re facing. Chunk it down into manageable and understandable pieces.

34. Remind yourself you only have to get through the next five minutes. Then the next five. And so on.

35. Take five minutes to meditate.

36. Write out a list of 25 reasons you’ll be OK.

37. Write out a list of 25 examples of things you’ve overcome or accomplished.

38. Write out a list of 25 reasons you’re a good, lovable person.

39. Write out a list of 25 things that make your life beautiful.

40. Sniff some scents that bring you joy or remind you of happier times.

41. Ask for support from friends and family via text if voice-to-voice contact feels like too much. Ask them to check in with you via text daily or weekly, whatever you need.

42. Lay down on the ground. Let the Earth or floor hold you. You don’t have to hold it all on your own.

43. Clean up a corner of a room of your house. Sometimes tidying up can help calm our minds.

44. Ask yourself: What’s my next most immediate priority? Do that that. Then ask the question again.

45. Read some poetry. Rumi, Hafiz, and Mary Oliver are all excellent.

46. Take a tech break. Delete or deactivate social media if it feels too triggering right now.

47. Or maybe get on tech. If you’ve been isolating, maybe interacting with friends and family online might feel good.

48. Go out in public and be around others. You don’t have to engage, but maybe sit in a coffee shop or on a bench at a museum and soak up the humanity around you.

49. Or if you’re feeling too saturated with contact, go home. Cancel plans and tend to the introverted parts of yourself.

50. Ask friends and family to remind you that things will be OK and that what you’re feeling is temporary.

51. Put up some Christmas lights in your bedroom. They often make things more magical.

52. Spend a little money and treat yourself to some self-care and comfort. Maybe take a taxi versus the bus. Buy your lunch instead of forcing yourself to pack it. Buy some flowers that delight you.

53. Make art. Scribble with crayons. Splash some watercolors. Paint a rock. Whatever. Just create something.

54. Go wander around outside in your neighborhood and take a look at all the lovely houses and the way people decorate their gardens. Delight in the diversity of design.

55. Go visit or volunteer at your local animal rescue. Pet some animals.

56. Look at photos of people you love. Set them as the wallpaper of your phone or laptop.

57. Create and listen to a playlist of songs that remind you of happier times.

58. Read some spiritual literature.

59. Scream, pound pillows, tear up paper, shake your body to move the energy out.

60. Eat your favorite, most comforting foods.

61. Watch old "Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood" videos online.

62. Turn off the lights, sit down, stare into space, and do absolutely nothing.

63. Pick one or two things that feel like progress and do them. Make your bed. Put away the dishes. Return an email.

64. Go to a church or spiritual community service. Sit among others and absorb any guidance or grace that feels good to you.

65. Allow yourself to fantasize about what you’re hoping or longing for. There are clues and energy in your reveries and daydreams that are worth paying attention to.

66. Watch autonomous sensory meridian response videos to help you calm down and fall asleep at night.

67. Listen to monks chanting, singing Tibetan bowls, or nature sounds to help soothe you.

68. Color in some coloring books.

69. Revisit an old hobby. Even if it feels a little forced, try your hand at things you used to enjoy and see what comes up for you.

70. Go to the ocean. Soak up the negative ions.

71. Go to the mountains. Absorb the strength and security of them.

72. Go to the forest. Drink in the shelter, life, and sacredness of the trees.

73. Put down the personal help books and pick up some good old-fashioned fiction.

74. Remember: Your only job right now is to put one foot in front of the other.

75. Allow and feel and express your feelings — all of them! — safely and appropriately. Seek out help if you need support in this.

76. Listen to sad songs or watch sad movies if you need a good cry. ("Steel Magnolias," anyone?)

77. Dance around wildly to your favorite, most cheesy songs from your high school years.

78. Put your hands in dirt. If you have a garden, go garden. If you have some indoor plants, tend to them. If you don’t have plants or a garden, go outside. Go to a local nursery and touch and smell all the gorgeous plants.

79. If you want to stay in bed all day watching Netflix, do it. Indulge.

80. Watch or listen to some comedy shows or goofy podcasts.

81. Look up examples of people who have gone through and made it through what you’re currently facing. Seek out models of inspiration.

82. Get expert help with whatever you need. Whether that’s through therapy, psychiatry, a lawyer, clergy, or something else, let those trained to support you do it.

83. Educate yourself about what you’re going through. Learn about what you’re facing, what you can expect to feel, and how you can support yourself in this place.

84. Establish a routine and stick to it. Routines can bring so much comfort and grounding in times of life that feel chaotic or out of control.

85. Do some hardcore nesting and make your home or bedroom as cozy and beautiful and comforting as possible.

86. Get up early and watch a sunrise.

87. Go outside, set up a chair, and watch the sunset.

88. Make your own list of self-soothing activities that engage all five of your senses.

89. Develop a supportive morning ritual for yourself.

90. Develop a relaxing evening ritual for yourself.

91. Join a support group for people who are going through what you’re going through. Check out the listings at local hospitals, libraries, churches, and universities to see what’s out there.

92. Volunteer at a local shelter or hospital or nursing home. Practice being of service to others who may also be going through a tough time.

93. Accompany a friend or family member to something. Even if it’s just keeping them company while they run errands, sometimes this kind of contact can feel like good self-care.

94. Take your dog for a walk. Or borrow a friend’s dog and take them for a walk.

This kangaroo dog loves walks.

95. Challenge your negative thinking.

96. Practice grounding, relaxation techniques.

97. Do something spontaneous. Walk or drive a different way to work. Order something new off the menu. Listen to a playlist of new songs.

98. Work with your doctor, naturopath, or nutritionist to develop a physical exercise plan and food plan that will be supportive to whatever you’re facing right now.

99. Pray. Meditate. Write a letter to God, the universe, the Source, your higher self — whatever you believe in.

100. As much as you can, try and trust the process.

101. Finally, remember, what you’re going through right now is temporary. It may not feel like that from inside the tough time you’re in, but this too shall pass and you will feel different again someday. If you can’t have faith in that, let me hold the hope for you.

This list is really just a starting point meant to catalyze your own thinking about how you can best take care of yourself during life’s tough times and to spark your curiosity and interest in strengthening your self-care now and ongoing.

It's not meant to be prescriptive nor do I mean to imply you need to do all or any of these things to take good care of yourself. You are the expert of your own experience, and I trust that you know what’s best for you.

Also, my hope is that in reading this, you’re hearing me say how normal and natural it is to struggle and to have these tough, hard times. It’s part of being human.

You’re not alone in this.

GIF via "Friends."


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Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗

It's super easy, no purchase or donation necessary, and you help our oceans! That's what we call a win-win-win. Enter here.

Our favorite giveaway is back. Enter to win a free, fun date! 🌊 💗
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Our love for the ocean runs deep. Does yours? Enter here!

This Valentine’s Day, we're bringing back our favorite giveaway with Ocean Wise. You have the chance to win the ultimate ocean-friendly date. Our recommendation? Celebrate love for all your people this Valentine's Day! Treat your mom friends to a relaxing spa trip, take your best friend to an incredible concert, or enjoy a beach adventure with your sibling! Whether you're savoring a romantic seafood dinner or enjoying a movie night in, your next date could be on us!

Here’s how to enter:

  • Go to upworthy.com/oceandate and complete the quick form for a chance to win - it’s as easy as that.
  • P.S. If you follow @oceanwise or donate after entering, you’ll get extra entries!

Here are the incredible dates:

1. Give mom some relaxation

She’s up before the sun and still going at bedtime. She’s the calendar keeper, the lunch packer, the one who remembers everything so no one else has to. Moms are always creating magic for us. This Valentine’s Day, we’re all in for her. Win an eco-friendly spa day near you, plus a stash of All In snack bars—because she deserves a treat that’s as real as she is. Good for her, kinder to the ocean. That’s the kind of love we can all get behind.


Special thanks to our friends at All In who are all in on helping moms!

2. Jump in the ocean, together

Grab your favorite person and get some much-needed ocean time. Did you know research on “blue spaces” suggests that being near water is linked with better mental health and well-being, including feeling calmer and less stressed? We’ll treat you to a beach adventure like a surfing or sailing class, plus ocean-friendly bags from GOT Bag and blankets from Sand Cloud so your day by the water feels good for you and a little gentler on the ocean too.

Special thanks to our friends at GOT Bag. They make saving the ocean look stylish and fun!

3. Couch potato time

Love nights in as much as you love a date night out? We’ve got you. Have friends over for a movie night or make it a cozy night in with your favorite person. You’ll get a Disney+ and Hulu subscription so you can watch Nat Geo ocean content, plus a curated list of ocean-friendly documentaries and a movie-night basket of snacks. Easy, comfy, and you’ll probably come out of it loving the ocean even more.

4. Dance all day!

Soak up the sun and catch a full weekend of live music at BeachLife Festival in Redondo Beach, May 1–3, 2026, featuring Duran Duran, The Offspring, James Taylor and His All-Star Band, The Chainsmokers, My Morning Jacket, Slightly Stoopid, and Sheryl Crow. The perfect date to bring your favorite person on!

We also love that BeachLife puts real energy into protecting the coastline it’s built on by spotlighting ocean and beach-focused nonprofit partners and hosting community events like beach cleanups.

Date includes two (2) three-day GA tickets. Does not include accommodation, travel, or flights.

5. Chef it up (at home)

Stay in and cook something delicious with someone you love. We’ll hook you up with sustainable seafood ingredients and some additional goodies for a dinner for two, so you can eat well and feel good knowing your meal supports healthier oceans and more responsible fishing.

Giveaway ends 2/15/26 at 11:59pm PT. Winners will be selected at random and contacted via email from the Upworthy. No purchase necessary. Open to residents of the U.S. and specific Canadian provinces that have reached age of majority in their state/province/territory of residence at the time. Please see terms and conditions for specific instructions. Giveaway not affiliated with Instagram. More details at upworthy.com/oceandate

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Neuroscientists say a simple trick will help you learn any new skill a lot faster

Learning a new skill? Here's how to quickly level-up.

guitar, learning a skill, neuroscience, music, exposure, passive exposure, gardening
via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A woman learning how to play guitar.

Learning a new skill, such as playing an instrument, gardening, or picking up a new language, takes a lot of time and practice, whether that means scale training, learning about native plants, or using flashcards to memorize new words. To improve through practice, you have to perform the task repeatedly and receive feedback so you know whether you’re doing it correctly. Is my pitch correct? Did my geraniums bloom? Is my pronunciation understandable?

However, a new study by researchers at the Institute of Neuroscience at the University of Oregon shows that you can speed up these processes by adding a third element to practice and feedback: passive exposure. The good news is that passive exposure requires minimal effort and is enjoyable.

"Active learning of a... task requires both expending effort to perform the task and having access to feedback about task performance," the study authors explained. "Passive exposure to sensory stimuli, on the other hand, is relatively effortless and does not require feedback about performance."


woman reading, woman book, young woman, studying, new skills A woman reading a book.via Canva/Photos

How to pick up new skills faster?

So, if you’re learning to play the blues on guitar, listen to plenty of Howlin’ Wolf or Robert Johnson throughout the day. If you’re learning to cook, keep the Food Network on TV in the background to absorb some great culinary advice. Learning to garden? Take the time to notice the flora and fauna in your neighborhood or make frequent trips to your local botanical garden.

If you’re learning a new language, watch plenty of TV and films in the language you are learning. The scientists add that auditory learning is especially helpful, so listen to plenty of audiobooks or podcasts on the subject you’re learning about.

But, of course, you also have to be actively learning the skill as well by practicing your guitar for the recommended hours each day or by taking a class in languages. Passive exposure won't do the work for you, but it's a fantastic way to pick up things more quickly. Further, passive exposure keeps the new skill you're learning top-of-mind, so you're probably more likely to actively practice it.

What is passive exposure?

Researchers discovered the tremendous benefits of passive exposure after studying a group of mice. They trained them to find water by using various sounds to give positive or negative feedback, like playing a game of “hot or cold.” Some mice were passively exposed to these sounds when they weren't looking for water. Those who received this additional passive exposure and those who received active training learned to find the water reward more quickly.

gardening, woman gardening, gardening shears, leaning gardening, weeds A woman tending to her garden.via Canva/Photos


“Our results suggest that, in mice and in humans, a given performance threshold can be achieved with relatively less effort by combining low-effort passive exposure with active training,” James Murray, a neuroscientist who led the study, told University of Oregon News. “This insight could be helpful for humans learning an instrument or a second language, though more work will be needed to better understand how this applies to more complex tasks and how to optimize training schedules that combine passive exposure with active training.”

The one drawback to this study was that it was conducted on mice, not humans. However, recent studies on humans have found similar results, such as in sports. If you visualize yourself excelling at the sport or mentally rehearse a practice routine, it can positively affect your actual performance. Showing, once again, that when it comes to picking up a new skill, exposure is key.

The great news about the story is that, in addition to giving people a new way to approach learning, it’s an excuse for us to enjoy the things we love even more. If you enjoy listening to blues music so much that you decided to learn for yourself, it’s another reason to make it an even more significant part of your life.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

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The real reason why every railroad in America has the same rocks lining the tracks

"I had no idea that the tracks aren’t actually bolted into the ground. Amazingly interesting."

railroad tracks; rocks around train; train; cargo trains; rail road
Photo credit: Canva

A girl balances on railroad tracks.

Railroad tracks run all across America. It's nearly impossible to drive through a town, no matter how small, without coming across a set of railroad tracks. But have you ever looked down and wondered why every railroad track you see has the same rocks surrounding the tracks?

There's never a variation of colors, shapes, or sizes. You never see railroad tracks surrounded by pebbles or sitting atop the bare ground. If the tracks aren't encased in between metal and asphalt so cars can drive over them, they're surrounded by these rocks. Turns out, there's a very specific reason for this that even a quick Internet search may not explain without you having to peruse multiple sources.

Popping this question into a search engine will yield the result that the rocks are used for the expanding track, which is true. But there's so much more. These stones aren't just across America, they're under railroad tracks in any country that operates the fast-moving cargo and people haulers. The YouTube channel Simple Things - Surprising Histories shares some of the many reasons train tracks are surrounded by those grey rocks in one of their recent episodes.

railroad tracks; rocks around train; train; cargo trains; rail road Sunlit railway track stretching into the distance.Photo credit: Canva

"A loaded train is incredibly heavy. We're talking about millions of pounds of steel and cargo. If you place that much weight directly onto the ground, the intense pressure would crush the soil. The tracks would sink, buckle, and the eventual train would derail," the video explains before revealing that the stones are actually called "track ballast."

As the host moves along, they share that the entire thing is in layers, working together to allow the train to move smoothly along the tracks without sinking into the dirt. The very top layer is the metal track, followed by the horizontal beams, evenly spaced, called "sleepers." Those sleepers sit on top of the ballast, otherwise known as grey rocks, which act as a cushion for the weight of the train.

"It takes the immense concentrated weight of the train and spreads it out over a wide area. It dissipates the pressure so the ground underneath doesn't get crushed," they say. "But here is the fascinating part. The tracks are not fixed to the ground. If you look closely, you'll see the tracks are floating on the stones. They aren't bolted into the earth deep below. They rely on friction and the sheer weight of the ballast to stay in place. This flexibility allows the track to slightly absorb the vibration of a roaring train rather than snapping under the tension."

The type of rocks used to make ballast is also important to keep the train running smoothly. Jagged, rough rocks won't slide away from each other from the vibration of a moving train like smooth rocks would. According to Strasburg Railroad, ballast stones are a combination of crushed stones, rocks, and gravel used to prevent vegetation from sprouting and drain water from the tracks. The type of stones that traditionally make up a ballast are limestone, granite, basalt, and quartzite, which help disperse the high heat generated by a heavy, fast-moving train.

Who knew those stones were doing so much heavy lifting? Holding down the railroad track, absorbing the heat created, keeping weeds from growing, and allowing the track to expand to keep the train from sinking into the ground. Viewers were fascinated.

railroad tracks; rocks around train; train; cargo trains; rail road Train traversing lush greenery.Photo credit: Canva

"I had no idea that the tracks aren’t actually bolted into the ground. Amazingly interesting," one person says.

"I had no clue why I clicked on this video, but glad I did!!! Great info about something I never even considered. Thank you for sharing!!!" writes another.

"Grew up with tracks in my backyard. I grew up throwing these ballast stones. I could bullseye a target at a good distance. Never once considered their importance. Thanks!!" someone else chimes in.

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Vet demonstrates 'squish the cat' method of safe cat handling in delightfully helpful video

There's a reason Dr. Burstyn's "How to pick up a cat" video has been viewed 23 million times.

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior
Helpful Vancouver Vet/YouTube

Handling a cat may seem like a delicate matter, but being delicate isn't actually the way to go.

If you've ever tried to make a cat do something it doesn't want to do, you've likely experienced the terror that a cat's wrath can invoke. Our cute, cuddly feline friends may be small, but the razor blades on their feet are no joke when they decide to utilize them. Even cats who love us can get spicy if we try to manhandle them, so we can imagine how things will go with cats who don't know us well. But sometimes it's necessary to handle a cat even if it's resistant to the idea.

This is where Vancouver veterinarian Dr. Uri Burstyn comes in. His "How to pick up a cat like a pro" video, in which he demonstrates a few ways of picking up and handling a cat, has been viewed over 23 million times since he shared it in 2019. Unlike many viral videos, it's not humorous and nothing outrageous happens, but the combo of Burstyn's calm demeanor and his repeated instructions to "squish that cat" has endeared him to the masses.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The video truly is helpful; he shows the ways to pick up a cat that make them feel the most secure using his cats, one-year-old Claudia and 14-year-old Mr. Pirate. He explains that cats spook very easily and it's best to introduce yourself to them gently. Let them sniff your fingers, keeping your fingers curled in, and once they've sniffed you, you can often give them a light rub on the cheek or under the chin.

Picking them up is a different story. The reason many cats will claw or scratch you when you try to pick them up is because they feel unsupported or unsafe, so they'll scramble around trying to get some footing. Burstyn shows how he picks up Claudia with one hand under the chest and one hand under her abdomen. If he needs to carry her around, he squishes her into his body so she feels "nice and supported." He may even put a hand under her front paws.

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior Cats can be finicky about how they're held. Photo credit: Canva

Then came the best part of the video: "Squish That Cat"

"Now if we do have a cat who's trying to get away from us?" Burstyn said. "We always squish that cat. If you're trying to hold the cat down, whether it's to trim their nails or to give them a pill, or whether you just want to have a cat not run off for a moment, squish that cat. All you need to know about cat restraint is to squish that cat."

Burstyn explains that cats generally feel very secure being squished, even if they're really scared.

"Sometimes cats come to me in the clinic, and they're quite afraid," he said. "And you just gently squish them, and they'll sit there and kind of not hurt themselves, not hurt us. Just hang out and let us do our thing."

He demonstrated putting a towel over the cat, explaining, "If you have a towel handy, this is one of the best cat restraint tools around. You can just throw a towel on the catty and squish her with the towel, that way they won't get a claw into you if they are scrambling about a bit. Very safe and gentle, and generally cats are very, very happy to be squished like that."

cats, pets, cat handling, veterinarian, feline behavior Squish that cat. Photo credit: Canva

Dr. Burstyn also showed how to do a "football hold," tucking the cat under your arm with them facing backwards. "So this is kind of an emergency way if you really need to carry a cat somewhere in a hurry," he said. Scooping up Claudia, he explained, "Little head's under your arm, butt in your hand, and you squish her tight to your body. And with that little football carry, you can basically hold a cat very securely and very safely, because it's really hard for them to rake you with their hind legs."

If you're worried about over-squishing your cat, Dr. Burnstyn says don't. "You don't have to worry about hurting a cat," he said. "They're very, very tough little beasts. You know, just squishing them against your body's never going to do them any harm. In fact, they tend to feel more safe and secure when they're being held tightly."

Dr. Burnstyn also demonstrated how to pick up and set down a "shoulder cat" who insists on climbing onto people's shoulders and hanging out there, as Mr. Pirate does. It's highly entertaining, as Mr. Pirate is a big ol' chonky kitty.


@yozron

she loves my shoulders i guess #catcore #kittendad #kittensoftiktok #cat #fyp

People in the comments loved Dr. Burnstyn's demonstration, with several dubbing him the Bob Ross of veterinary medicine. Even people who don't have cats said they watched the whole video, and many loved Claudia and Mr. Pirate as well.

"This is just proof that cats are liquid."

"12/10 cat. Excellent squishability."

"So essentially, cats love hugs? That's the most wonderful thing i've heard all day."

"This cat is so well mannered and looks educated."

"Mr Pirate is an absolute unit."

"S q u i s h . T h a t . C a t ."

"I need 'Squish that cat' shirt.

"Dang, that actually helped with my female cat. She has been through at least two owners before me and had some bad expriences which obviously resulted in trust issues. She has now been with me for two years and it had gotten loads better, but she still did not want me to hold her. Normally I simply would have let her be, but for vet visits and such it was not an ideal situation. But then I saw this video and tried to squish the cat. And she loves it! She is turning into quite the snuggly bug. Thank you!"

So there you go. When all else fails, squish that cat and see what happens.

You can follow Dr. Burstyn on YouTube at Helpful Vancouver Vet.


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Japanese volleyball player's serve hit a judge, and his extreme 'dogeza' apology went viral

The most hilariously dramatic apology ever.

japan, japanese, volleyball, culture, apology
Representative photo credit: Canva

A volleyball game.

In ball sports, it's common for an errant ball to hit a target an athlete didn't mean to hit. If that unintended target happens to be a person, the athlete will usually apologize for the accident. And if that athlete is Japanese volleyball player Yuji Nishida, the apology will be one for the ages.

Nishida was serving in an all-star volleyball tournament in Kobe, Japan, when his serve went awry and hit a courtside judge in the back, according to The Guardian. Before the judge even had time to react, Nishida sprinted across the court, dove under the net, and slid headfirst on his belly to her feet. He remained outstretched on the court, his forehead and nose pressed to the floor, before standing up and bowing deeply and repeatedly to the smiling judge. She laughed and bowed in return, letting him know it was all good.

Nishida's over-the-top apology appears to be a comically dramatic version of a "dogeza," a formal apology in Japan that is reserved for the most egregious offenses. A dogeza involves prostrating yourself in front of the person you are apologizing to, with your hands and forehead on the ground to indicate deep contrition. Companies in Japan have even been known to require employees to perform dogeza apologies to customers, sometimes surprisingly often.

Though it is used seriously in Japan, the dogeza has also inspired comedy skits, such as the viral "Apology Olympics," which may have served as inspiration for Nishida's running belly slide:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Japan's culture of apology is about courtesy, respect, and social cohesion

One of the first phrases people learn when studying Japanese is "sumimasen," which translates to a mix of "excuse me" and "I'm sorry." It is also an indispensable phrase to know if you ever plan to visit Japan, since it is used by nearly everyone, all the time, as a way to show humility and respect. Japanese culture places a high value on courtesy, which includes apologizing for both minor inconveniences and major offenses.

There are multiple ways to apologize in Japan, and as Japan Intercultural Consulting points out, apologies there carry a different connotation than they do in the United States:

"In the United States, an apology often determines fault and liability, so we are reluctant to apologize. In the Japanese context, an apology is less of an admission of guilt than as a mature acknowledgement that errors were made, and an interest in working to make things right. It shows a 'kaizen mind' that reflects on errors and works to prevent recurrences. An apology clears the air and repairs what was broken. Apologies permit all parties to let go of the past and move forward. Apologize, regardless of who is at fault. If you really cannot make yourself do this if you are not at fault, you can say, 'I’m really sorry this happened.'"

The general rule in Japan when something goes wrong is this: don't make excuses or place blame, just apologize.

japan, japanese culture, dogeza, apologies, bowing A person performs a dogeza-like bow in front of another person.Photo credit: Canva

Is it possible to apologize too much in Japanese culture?

There is more risk of under-apologizing than over-apologizing in Japan, according to Japan Consulting Office: "It is better to give too many apologies rather than even one too few. Remember you are not taking any real responsibility here but are simply defusing the situation by saying, 'I too want to help solve the issue.'"

Apologizing is a way to clear the air and move forward, not to admit fault or take responsibility.

Understanding the expectations and norms of one another's cultures can help prevent awkward misunderstandings and unintentional offense. While no one would expect a sliding dogeza apology like Nishida's, his repeated bowing after the accident is a clear reflection of how highly Japanese culture values a solid apology, regardless of intent. The fact that his apology was also entertaining is just icing on the cake.

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Moms trying to make ends meet are doing 'food bank hauls' to normalize accepting help

"Wow! That's like $165 at the grocery store."

food insecurity; food deserts; food banks; food pantries; food bank haul; moms; low income families
Photo credit: Canva

Women working at a food bank.

Making ends meet can be a struggle right now, especially as some areas of the country see staggering increases at the grocery store. But some moms are making the best of it by normalizing utilizing local food banks to fill in the gaps left by inflation. In search of a remedy for grocery money not going as far, food pantries are becoming vital for young families.

Some moms are trading clothing hauls for food bank hauls, proving that asking for help isn't a moral failing. The food received can not only make full meals, but also supplement what's missing, and they're sharing the message via social media for all to see. One mom is even showing how she's giving back after becoming more financially stable, making the transition from needing help to giving help visible.

In one video, a stay-at-home mom on a low budget films herself as the food bank workers give her options to choose from. Xye Rayno uses her social media account to show the reality of living and cooking on a tight budget. When accepting donated food from a local food pantry, the options vary from week to week. During this particular visit, Rayno had more options than usual that would make several high-quality meals for her family.

@xyerayno First foodbank haul of the year.. what do you think I’m gonna make with these goodies?? 👩🏿🍳✨ #foodbank #budgetmeals #freefood #dinnerideas ♬ original sound - Xye Rayno

Immediately, the woman standing outside of view asks Rayno to choose between "canned potatoes, pasta, or rice." The entire interaction is someone giving her multiple food options to choose from before the mom drives home to unveil her haul. Rayno's entire trunk is full of groceries, and she holds up items to show viewers what she got: several half gallons of milk, a couple of cartons of eggs, a bag of potatoes, a bag of onions, snacks for the kids, and more.

In November 2025, ABC reported that some food banks have seen an 1,800% surge in family use to help fill grocery needs. It would be easy to point to the government shutdown that occurred just before the report as a reason for the spike in food pantry consumers, but it wouldn't tell the full story. The rise in food bank visitors has been increasing steadily for several years.

In 2023, Jessica Francis, Executive Director of Open Cupboard, shared with PBS News that, "Before the pandemic, we were serving 420 families, and now we're serving more than 4,000." An executive director of a New York food pantry explains to the same outlet that they went from serving 6.3 million meals a year to being on track to serve more than 11 million for the year 2023. Food insecurity is happening nationwide, and food pantries fill in the gaps left by inflation and loss of income for some families.

Moms removing the stigma by showing what going to a food bank looks like and the type of food they receive there can help others in need feel more confident. Another mom, known as Momma El on TikTok, un-bags her food bank haul, showing Cinnamon Crunch cereal, pasta, milk, Chef Boyardee, turkey breasts, English muffins, snacks for the kids, and more.

@momma_el Food bank haul ☺️ #foodbank #haul #fyp #grateful #reach10k ♬ original sound - Momma El

Another mom, Becca, shared at the end of her food bank haul video, "I know I say this every time butour food bank really keeps our little family secure on hard months, so we're really grateful again, to have the opportunity to go. And as I do some pantry cleanouts, any extra food will be going to my free market community."

People stopped by the comments to support these moms, showing what surviving financial hardship looks like. One person said, "Wow! That's like $165 at the grocery store," while someone else points out, "I love that they asked/gave options vs giving boxes with stuff that you may never use. I feel like more people get help this way."

@uhhhhbecca Skipped a month because we were able to spend extra on groceries, but the holidays drained us so we’re back with another food bank haul!! Someone help me with these caramel chips 😂 I’ve made cookies so many times and added them to banana bread. I can’t get rid of them! #foodbankhaul #foodbank #brokesahm #groceryhaul #foodpantry ♬ original sound - music_lyrics1594 - Music Lyrics

One person writes, "Looks amazing! So glad you can take care of the family and eat well. You deserve to eat yummy things."

Someone praises, "That is a great haul. Your kids will love the sweets. I’m glad you went and used the resources out there."

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