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10 Black women sat in first class on an airplane and it revealed a lot about race in America

"This weekend I went on a girls trip. 10 Black women flying first class. People literally could not process how it was possible."

10 Black women sat in first class on an airplane and it revealed a lot about race in America
via Angie Jones / Twitter and Matt Blaze / Flickr

Software developer Angie Jones' recent girls trip revealed that America still has a long way to go when it comes to race.

To most, that's not surprising. But what's unique is how the specific experience Jones and her friends went through revealed the pervasive way systemic racism still runs through our culture.

Jones is the Senior Director of Developer Relations at Applitools, holds 26 patented inventions in the United States of America and Japan, and is an IBM Master Inventor.

On July 27, she tweeted about a flight she took with nine other Black women and they all sat in first class. "People literally could not process how it was possible," she wrote. "Staff tried to send us to regular lines. Passengers made snide remarks. One guy even yelled 'are they a higher class of people than I am?!'"

Jones and her friends were the targets of racism that ranged from the seemingly unconscious — people who assumed that Black people don't sit in first class — to the blatant — those who were seriously bothered that Black people were being treated as having a higher status.

It's interesting that she didn't mention anyone saying "good for you" for succeeding in a world that often holds people of color back. Instead, she was greeted with incredulity and jealous rage.

There are a lot of white people who can't stand the idea of a Black person being elevated above them. It's disturbing that in 2021 there are still some who will admit it publicly.

Jones' tweets inspired a lot of people to share their stories about the racism they've experienced while flying first class.

Jones' tweets also angered some people to the point that they denied her story. To which she responded, "To those saying I'm lying, you're a huge part of the problem," she wrote. "You tell yourself a notable person is lying (for what reason, I cannot figure out) before you believe there are actual racists in...America."

One Twitter user came up with the perfect retort to the person who asked, "Are they a higher class of people than I am?!"

This article originally appeared on 07.29.21

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Pop Culture

Man's seemingly obvious 'dishwasher hack' is blowing everyone's minds

One man’s observation about his dishwasher may change the way you do dishes forever.

via Mike McLoughlin/Twitter

Mike McLoughlan realized something very important about his dishwasher.

No one likes doing the dishes, but the tedious chore is made much easier when using a dishwasher. However, an alarming amount of people have reported that their dishwashers can actually make the job harder because they don't properly fit their dishes.

And that's where Twitter user Mike McLoughlin (@zuroph) comes in.

Back in January, McLoughlin made an observation about his dishwasher that would change the way he does dishes forever. For a decade, the Irishman thought that the bottom rack of his washer simply was too small for his large dinner plates. Then he made an amazing discovery:

The tweet went totally viral, and was shared over 14,000 times. He even tweeted a picture to show just how much he could fit in the dishwasher now that he knows the racks are adjustable:

The "hack" (is it still called a hack if the appliance is doing what it is supposed to be doing?) blew people's minds:

But other people were basically like, "Seriously, dude?"

While a group of others tried to one-up McLoughlin with stories of their own:


Okay, go on and check your own dishwasher. You know you want to.


This article first appeared on 8.16.18.

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Family

Mom uses PowerPoint to give 'birds and the bees' talk to daughter in the most millennial way ever

Slide 1: “How Do I Know If I Like Someone?”

Photo credit: Canva

This is the talk we all need.

There are many ways for parents to have “The Talk” with their kids. Some might opt for a more casual setting to make the conversation a little less awkward, while others might need a little more structure to make sure all the necessary bases are covered.

Tamara Mason, aka @tamaramasn on TikTok, clearly falls into the latter category, in the absolute best way.

In a video captured by her friend, Mason is seen delivering an impeccably thorough (and dare I say…fun?) birds and the bees talk with her 14-year-old daughter via PowerPoint slideshow.

The Ted Talk level presentation, “Prepared & Presented by Mommy Featuring: Pops + Dr. Auntie Whitney” (Auntie Whitney is, presumably the friend filming) was truly something for the history books.

Mason’s audience of one was able to nosh on a array of yummy snacks while she covered a variety of subjects, such as “How Do I Know If I Like Someone,” “What Can Help You Not Have Sex Too Soon,”romantic vs platonic relationships, greens flags vs red flags, STDs vs STIs, and much, much more.

“Yes, I made an entire slideshow for the moment. Tell me you’re a millennial without telling me you're a millennial,” Mason quipped in her caption.

Watch:


@tamaramasn Hey everybody! So a couple of days ago my best friend posted about my presentation while I was having “the talk” with my 14 y/o. Yes, I made an entire slideshow for the moment. Tell me you’re a millennial without telling me you’re a millennial. 😏 Judge somebody else! 🗣️😂 BUT, since then I had over 40 DMs asking for a copy! I was not expecting this reaction at all lol. But y’all support my extra-ness and I love thattttt! Nevertheless, I know this is a sore subject for most but I’m a huge advocate for being honest with future young adults because that is how they learn the most, aside from watching us. So just for yall, I cleaned the slide deck up to make it gender neutral and wrote notes for what to say on each slide when you use ‘presenter view’. You can now purchase the Canva access link here for $15! https://strandswellness.etsy.com I did all of the work, you just present it to your teen(s) when you’re ready! 🫂 #thetalk #teenrelationships #birdsandbees #thebirdsandthebees #canvadownload #etsy #parents #guardians #youngadults #highschool #teens #teenagers #relationships ♬ original sound - Tamara Mason

Down in the comments, people were 1000% onboard with Mason’s creative approach.

“Teaching from a place of education and self-awareness instead of shame is what will set this next generation apart! They are going to amaze us all,” one viewer praised.

Many found it so refreshing against the nonexistent big talks of their own childhood.

“This is so smart!” one person shared. “As someone who didn’t grow up in a family where we discussed this, thank you for doing this for your daughter.”

Another echoed, “I need this talk.”

Due to an incredibly popular demand, Mason did end up making a $20 Canva template for other parents to use, which can be purchased on Etsy. While Mason knows “The Talk” is a sore subject among many parents, she is a “huge advocate for being honest with future young adults, because that is how they learn the most, aside from watching us.” And now, maybe it can be just a little bit easier.

Many resources suggest that discussing different age appropriate topics at various stages throughout their child’s development can also make things easier—both for the parents delivering the information and the kids processing it. And if semi-public speaking isn't’ your jam like it is Mason’s, maybe try out having the conversation in the car (more on that here).

Having "The Talk" is certainly not the most comfortable aspect of parenting (it is, after all, one of the most definitive ways we are shown that kids can't be kids forever). But it makes a huge difference in a kid's life for a parent to show up to offer knowledge on the subject in whatever way they can. This story is a perfect example of that.

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Joy

15 hard truths that once people accepted them, their lives got so much better

"Not all friendships last."

via Liza Summer/Pexels

A woman learns a harsh truth about her friends.

A significant part of adulthood is realizing that many uncomfortable truths are indeed real, even if we wish they weren’t. At first, these harsh truths may dampen our spirits and make us feel that the world is a bit colder.

However, understanding some of life's hard lessons opens us up to greater possibilities and can help us overcome the obstacles holding us back.

Harsh truths help us realize when relationships aren’t as great as they can be. They also prevent us from having too much faith in people and institutions that will ultimately disappoint us. Knowing dark truths can also help us appreciate the things that are truly beautiful, honest and good.

A Redditor named Rare_Can_5418 asked the AskReddit forum, “What difficult truths, the sooner you accept them, the better your life will be?” and received over 6,500 responses. Many of them were centered around harsh truths about relationships and the fact that even if we do our best in life, we can still end up with the short end of the stick.



The key is to keep going and never let failure get you down.

Here are 15 of the “difficult truths” that made people’s lives a lot better.

1. Stop comparing yourself

"There will always be someone better looking, better educated, younger, more experienced, more intelligent or wealthier than you. Do your best, live without regret, have empathy and kindness, give when you can, expecting nothing in return. Focus on your heart value more than what others have."

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

2. Some people won't like you

"You can be sweetest, juiciest peach on the tree. But some people don't like peaches."

"In Spanish, there's a saying: 'Nadie es moneda de oro para que lo quiera todo el mundo,' which translates to something like nobody is a gold coin to be liked/wanted by everyone else."

3. Things are just things

"They don’t have feelings. They don’t care if you give them away or sell them or throw them out. If a thing is useful, keep it. If not, get rid of it."

Psychologists refer to perceiving that inanimate objects have feelings as anthropomorphizing. Psych Central says that humans project feelings onto objects to relate to them more deeply. "People generally anthropomorphize to make sense of events and behaviors they experience. Further, attributing emotions, attitudes, mental states, faces, and values to non-human things can help you feel connected to something," Sarah Barkley writes in a PhD-reviewed article.



4. Not all friendships last

"Surprisingly though, the ones that last are not necessarily the best (or even good) ones."

"Most friendships are based on convenience, I've found. Unless two people are willing to put in a lot of effort, time and distance will do more to end a friendship than any disagreement."

5. You may be the bad guy

"You can do your best with someone and still be the villain in their story."

"One of my current favourite memes is: I don't care if I'm the villain in your story, you're the clown in mine."

6. You can't change people

"You can only help people who actually want it. If they’re not ready to change or put in the effort, there’s not much you can do. Realizing this can save you a lot of frustration and help you focus on people who actually appreciate your help."

"It’s always tough having those friends who are constantly complaining but doing nothing to address what they are complaining about. But as an adult, you just have to sit there and listen. No point in offering help to someone who isn’t asking for it. Kinda like how it’s really tough to teach someone who isn’t interested in being taught."

7. How we judge

"We judge ourselves by our intentions. We judge others by their actions."

"In psychology, this is called fundamental attribution error."

The Fundamental Attribution Error is a psychological phenomenon where we assume someone's actions reflect their personality without considering the situation. It's like when we blame someone's driving skills for being in an accident instead of the curvy road.



8. Depending on people

"Once you're an adult, there really isn't anyone you can 100% depend on except yourself. There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you."

9. Nice doesn't equal good

"Nice people aren't always good people."

"One of my bosses doesn't greet/make small talk and is known for being quite firm. He's been the most helpful throughout my most difficult period dealing with tragedy. Some people with that personality type simply get things done when you need them done without the chattering."

10. Everything is temporary

"You can suddenly lose anything and anyone at any time...and maybe all at once or in quick succession without so much warning."

11. Nobody is thinking about you

"In general, people in the real world are oblivious to you. You're not even a blip on their radar. If you're insecure about something you wear or how you look, remember: nobody cares."



12. No one is coming to save you

"No one is coming to save you, so you have to do it all yourself."

"And once you internalize this and do it, your self-esteem will be through the roof."

13. Nobody knows what they're doing

"Before i graduated high school I thought, thank god, I finally won’t have to deal with annoying obnoxious kids and I’ll be treated like an adult, I come to find out 95% of adults are worse then the actual kids, nobody knows what they’re actually doing and life is actually a big joke."

14. Love is reciprocal

"If a romantic interest is not giving you the same attention/respect you give them, they don't really care about or want you, and you're in for a world of hurt if you keep telling yourself otherwise."

15. Who's good for you?

"People who are good for you will make you feel happy, joyful, accepted, cared for, and filled with fun times, despite any differences. People who are not good for you will make you feel anxious, sad, down, slighted, judged, and never check in on you if you're not okay, and won't even bother noticing when you're not okay. Genuine people will never let you suffer in silence or watch you suffer. Stay away from those who make you feel negative emotions and thoughts."

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Internet

Man designs boxer briefs for his girlfriend to comfortably wear during her period

John King decided to do something for his girlfriend and women everywhere.

Photo credit: Canva

Man designs boxer briefs for girlfriend's period, women approve

Most women are going to get a period in their lifetime and with that comes the experience of the not so pleasant times of being born female. It's not a secret that periods are uncomfortable, there are even commercials about it and a trend of men trying on a simulator to get a more realistic experience of what menstrual cramps can feel like.

While most people can sympathize with the experience, there's not much they can do other than promise to always bring you chocolate and know what brand and type of menstrual products you use. It may seem small but those gestures can go a long way, especially when you're in pain or stuck at work with your last couple of sanitary products in tow.

But some partners go above and beyond when hearing monthly grievances, whether its taking on more duties in the home, running an epsom salt bath or, for one man, creating underwear specifically for his girlfriend to wear while on her period. Yep, you read that right.

John King, apparently the worlds best listener and problem solver, noted the complaints of his girlfriend when she would steal his boxer briefs and decided to do something about it. Not just for her but for women everywhere.

"My girlfriend would always steal my boxers because she thought they were comfortable but when it came around to that time of the month pads didn't fit right in them. They would shift around on the inside and be uncomfortable," King explains in one of his videos.

The boxers that King created not only provide a liftable piece of cotton material in the middle to securely attach the wings from pads, but they also include a small pouch for people to insert heating or cooling packs. It seems he has thought of everything, including making the entire boxer brief out of cotton so they can be worn daily and not just during a person's period.



King also offered education in one of his recent videos shared to social media after someone asks, "who wears pads after the age of 14?"

"Many women wear pads whether for postpartum reasons and incontinence reasons, cultural or religious views, sensory issues and so on," the creator replies.

Women in the comments are ecstatic about the possibilities with these underwear and the simple practicality of it.

One woman is thinking about unique hiding options, "So you’re saying I can sneak snacks in my undergarments!!! Finally!!!"

"Why is there so much shame about wearing pads? Some women just aren’t comfortable with tampons or reusable products. And those boxers look so comfortable," another person inquires.

Someone is ready to spend their paycheck, "the heating pad sold me. take my money!"

One important question asked and answered, "…and your gf hasn’t proposed after this? I’m confused. Well done, sir." King responded to this comment with a video sharing the night he proposed to his girlfriend. Though he may be officially off the market forever, his product can be found at Spicy Wear Clothing where he designs and sells more comfortable underwear options for women.

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Family

Dad asks for help after passing down 'embarrassing’ last name to his 3 kids

He’s petrified that they'll be bullied.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A dad worries about his 3 kids.

Having an unusual name that is easy to make fun of can create a world of pain for children because it makes them an easy target for bullies. But that’s not where the pain ends. As adults, people may not have to deal with bullies, but they have to hear the same tired jokes over and over again. Further, studies show that people with unique last names have a harder time finding employment.

All in all, it’s just an extra burden that makes life unnecessarily challenging.

Some ask, ‘If your name causes much trouble, why not change it?’ However, our names are our connection to our family and history, so it can be hard to change something closely connected to our identities.

A dad on Reddit who believes that his last name is “embarrassing” wasn’t sure how to handle the situation with his children, so he reached out to the NameNerds forum on Reddit for advice.

“I have an embarrassing last name (Roach). It’s always bothered me throughout my childhood and adulthood,” the father wrote. “Now I have kids ages 14, 10, and 5. They’ve said that no one has ever really bullied them over their last name but I still feel bad. I know it’s too late to change their last name. Just seeking some advice or input from anyone who has an embarrassing last name and how they deal with passing the name onto their kids.”

The father began to feel insecure about his name after having children.

“I had accepted my last name and was fine with it. The woman I married accepted the last name too so we gave our kids the name. It was after I had kids that I started to think about it again and wondering about their experiences,” the father wrote.

upset dad, embarrassing names, redditA dad worried about his kids.via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

The responses from fellow Redditors supported the father by saying that if the name isn’t affecting the kids, stop worrying about it. Many thought broaching the subject with his kids might worsen the situation.

“Don't borrow trouble,” one commenter wrote. “They don't seem to mind it and you've survived with it thus far, so what's the problem? I agree that Roach isn't the prettiest surname ever, but I've heard before so it doesn't seem that crazy to me.”

Another popular response was simple and to the point: “If they don’t feel bad, then don’t make it weird for them.”

One commenter said that by discussing the topic, he becomes the bully himself.

“If you mention it too much, you may give them the reason they don't currently have to feel insecure about it,” a commenter wrote. “You'd be the one making fun of them for their last name. You'd be their 1st bully. Don't be their 1st bully/the reason they have anxiety.”

“You clearly need to name them Papa,” another joked.

reddit, baby names, childA distracted girl ion school.via RDNE Stock project/Pexels

The father took the comments to heart and realized he should stop worrying about the family name. “I can’t tell if they feel bad or not, but they also don’t complain about it, so maybe that’s a sign that they’re ok,” he reasoned. “I’m probably overthinking it.”

The father’s dilemma is an excellent example of a common problem that many parents have: projecting their insecurities on their children.

"It is natural to worry about your children and have anxieties or worries about them. You want the best for them and do not want them to be burdened with the same issues you faced as a child. However, these thoughts and worries are your own, and you can protect your children from your own fears and concerns if you work on limiting your projection," Heather R. Hayes, LPCC, writes on her website.

Samantha Rodman, PhD, says the best way to stop projecting onto our kids is to realize when it’s happening and ask ourselves why. “Noticing this tendency in yourself is half the battle and the other half is actively engaging in self-talk that counters these negative assumptions,” she writes at HuffPost. “So, you say to yourself, ‘Why is this bothering me? What images or thoughts are running through my head?’”

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