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1 out of 3 doctors aren't recommending the HPV vaccine. We need to talk about why.

Talking about sex with your teen can be awkward, but we should do it anyway.

A recent survey in Pediatrics found that more than one-third of doctors aren't strongly recommending the HPV vaccine to their preteen patients. That's a lot of doctors, but it's way more patients. 

HPV is the fastest-growing STI in the United States.

The HPV vaccines, known as Gardasil and Cervarix, can protect against some of the most common strains, including some that may lead to cervical cancer. 

The HPV vaccine was introduced in the United States in 2006, and since then, there has been a 56% reduction of the vaccine-covered strains in girls ages 14-19. It's now recommended for all children (not just girls) ages 11 and older.  

When properly administered, the vaccine is nearly 100% effective at preventing cervical, vaginal, and vulvar precancers, and Gardasil prevents about 90% of genital warts.

If it's already made such an impact, why isn't it being recommended?

Basically, doctors aren't recommending the vaccine to patients because they don't want to talk about sex.

This is society when you bring up sex. Except when you're trying to sell something. GIF via "Jane the Virgin."

The Victorians would be so proud. 

Less than 2% of preteens under age 12 are sexually active, but that number increases significantly throughout adolescence. By age 16, 48% of teens are sexually active. 

Kids want to talk to their parents about it. Seriously.

A 2012 survey found that nearly 9 in 10 teens said it would be easier to "postpone sexual activity and avoid pregnancy if they were able to have more open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents." 

Albert, B. (2012). With One Voice 2012: America’s Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy. Washington, DC: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

Parents want to have these conversations too.

If both parents and teens want to talk to each other, why don't we?

Because it's awkward. Because we feel unqualified. Because we assume that our kids will get that education at school. Unfortunately, sex education still looks like like this in a lot of schools: 

This is statistically not likely to happen, just saying. GIF from "Mean Girls."

A huge part of parenting is talking to your kids about tough topics, even if it's a bit uncomfortable. Here are some ways to start that conversation.

You got this. GIF via "Parks and Recreation."

*deep breaths*

1. Use television shows, movies, and current events to start a conversation.

We often imagine The Talk as something scary, solemn, and heavily planned out. You intercept your teen as they walk in the door after school, and they know immediately. They start mumbling. You start talking about how you're not a regular mom, you're a cool mom. At some point, you both stop making eye contact. 

It doesn't need to be that way. You can use media to open the door, even if that means you just point out articles in the newspaper or ask how they felt about certain moments in their favorite shows. 

2. Start early.

You know how we start learning languages with the alphabet? Talking about sex is like that. You start easy and work your way up.

When children are young, talk to them about boundaries. Talk about what bodies do, and normalize those things. Did you find your first-grader with a tampon up their nose, pretending to be a walrus? Laugh (and take the tampon out of their nose) and tell them what tampons are for. It's a lot less scary to get your period the first time if you actually know what a period is. 

3. Don't think of it as The Talk.

"The Talk" has become such a loaded phrase that all parents within a mile radius instantly groan when someone says "Yeah, we had The Talk last night."

If we stop thinking about it as just one conversation — as The Talk — we start to normalize conversations about sex and sexuality. This goes right along with starting early. If you talk to your kids regularly about their bodies and relationships, it's a lot less scary for everyone. 

4. Come with your own set of questions for your child's doctor.

Health care is a team effort, especially if your children are very young. Come prepared with a set of questions for your doctor. Are you curious about the HPV vaccine? Talk with them about it. If you start the conversation with them about your child's sexual health, they may be more comfortable discussing whether the vaccine — or other health measures — are right for your child. 

But remember — your child may want to talk to their doctor alone. It doesn't mean they don't trust you, it just means that they may feel a bit awkward having that conversation with a group of people. Trust that your doctor will let you know if your child is being hurt by themselves or by another person. 

5. When you don't know, don't fake it.

Repeat after me: It's OK to not know all the answers. If you don't know the answer to a question or if you aren't certain, look it up together! There is no shame in not knowing, and research is often being updated, so what you learned as a teen might not be up-to-date. 

Some websites that you can turn to for accurate, up-to-date information are Scarleteen, Sex, Etc., Our Bodies Ourselves, and The Guttmacher Institute.

I'm not saying it's always going to be easy.

But if you could help your child stay healthy and have healthy relationships, wouldn't you want to? We've come a long way in preventing HPV, treating STIs, and preventing and treating HIV. So let's not let our fear of sex hold us back. 

\n\n

Let's show those doctors that we're ready to talk about it. 

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Pop Culture

In 1969, the Monkees appeared on The Johnny Cash Show and played a stunning, original country song

"Nine Times Blue" is a jaw dropping intersection of craftsmanship and pure talent.

the monkees, nume times blue, monkees live, monkees country, johnny cash show
via Colleen Gruver/YouTube

The Monkees perform on "The Johnny Cash Show."

The great debate about The Monkees is whether they were a real band or just a group of actors thrown together for a TV show. The answer is yes. They were actors cast to play an American version of The Beatles, and many of their early songs were written by big-time professional songwriters such as Tommy Boyce, Bobby Hart, Neil Diamond, Carole King, and Gerry Goffin.

However, The Monkees would pick up their own instruments, play on the 1967 Headquarters album, and perform as a live band on sold-out tours. After a resurgence in the '80s, the band enjoyed a lucrative career as a legacy act, with various members continuing to perform as The Monkees until Michael Nesmith died in 2021. Nesmith, originally a country singer from Dallas, Texas, wrote several of The Monkees' hits, including "Mary, Mary," "Papa Gene's Blues," "The Girl I Knew Somewhere," and "Listen to the Band," and was a driving force in the group being taken seriously as musicians.



By the summer of 1969, The Monkees' TV series was off the air, and the affable Peter Tork had exited the group, citing exhaustion. The remaining three soldiered on, performing on The Johnny Cash Show to promote their latest album, Instant Replay. The band chose to perform "Nine Times Blue," a country song written by Nesmith that he had demoed at the time but wouldn't be released until he recorded it as a solo artist in 1970.

The performance is a wonderful reminder that The Monkees were great comedic actors and accomplished musicians. Davy Jones and Micky Dolenz do a fantastic job singing harmonies on the chorus, while Nesmith plays some nice fills on his Gibson acoustic.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Later in the show, The Monkees joined Cash for a performance of his 1966 novelty song, "Everybody Loves a Nut," which perfectly suited the band's comedic sensibilities. Two weeks after the release, Cash scored one of his biggest hits with "A Boy Named Sue," recorded live at San Quentin prison.

A few months later, Nesmith left The Monkees to pursue a country-rock career, first with the seminal group The First National Band, which scored a Top 40 hit with "Joanne" from the album Magnetic South.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Although Nesmith's country-rock albums of the '70s were moderately successful, he was still overshadowed, as a musician, by The Monkees' towering success and subsequent downfall. In the '70s, it wasn't easy for Nesmith to get the respect he was due as a country artist. But in the years leading up to his death in 2021, Nesmith's work was reappraised, and he was seen as a brilliant songwriter who anticipated the rise of alt-country.

The Monkees hold a complicated place in rock 'n' roll history. While some see them as a prefabricated band assembled to cash in on The Beatles' success, others recognize them as talented musicians brought together under bizarre circumstances who forged their own path and created something fresh and innovative, only earning proper respect years later.

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Fascinating video reveals 7 reasons why people in the past looked so much older

Why did teenagers in the 50s look 45?

1950s year book, old photos, college annual, students, 1950s america
via The Wittenberger/Wikimedia Commons

The Wittenberger College 1956 yearbook.

Ever look through your parents’ high school yearbook and all the teenagers look like they are 35 years old? When you think about how teenagers look today, the difference is striking. But why? Did people grow up much faster back in the day, or is there something else at play?

If you look back to the 1980s, there’s a clear difference between actors Paul Rudd and Wilford Brimley at 50.

Sure, that's a cherry-picked, extreme version of the difference in how people age, but it does support the idea that just a few decades ago, people aged much faster.

In a recent video, the folks at Recollection Road did a deep dive into why your average high school junior in 1958 looked like a 55-year-old bank manager, and they found seven reasons. They were a mix of environmental and cultural factors that boiled down to one central point: people are much healthier these days.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

1. Smoking

“Cigarettes were everywhere: in diners, in offices, even on airplanes. In the 1950s, it wasn't unusual to see a mother with a baby in one arm and a cigarette in the other. High school kids would light up behind the gym, and by adulthood, many were chain smokers.”

A Gallup poll found that in 1954, 45% of U.S. adults smoked cigarettes at least once a week. Compare this with 2024, when only 11% of Americans smoked a cigarette in the previous week.

2. Sun exposure

“Back in the 1960s and 1970s, a summer tan wasn't just fashionable, it was almost required. People slathered on baby oil, laid out under the blazing sun, and cooked. There was no SPF 50. In fact, lotion was designed to help you burn faster for a deeper tan. Families on vacation didn't think twice about spending hours on the beach with no shade. By the time they were in their 30s or 40s, the sun had also carved wrinkles and dark spots into their skin.”


3. Fashion

“Think about old photos of your parents or grandparents. A 25-year-old man in 1948 was often dressed in a suit and tie, maybe even a fedora. A young woman might be wearing a conservative dress and practical shoes. By modern standards, those styles look more grown-up, more like something we'd expect from someone middle-aged.”

4. Life was harder

“Someone who grew up during the Great Depression often started working as a teenager to help put food on the table. A lot of young men were drafted into World War II or Vietnam before they were even old enough to legally drink. That kind of responsibility leaves its mark. … Even women carried heavy burdens. In the 1950s, a young mother might have had three or four kids by the time she was 25, while also running a household without modern conveniences like microwaves or dishwashers.”


5. Drinking

“Having a three martini lunch was common in the business world of the 1960s. Beer was practically considered a food group in some households. Combine that with less knowledge about exercise and health, and you can see why bodies wore down faster, giving people an older appearance earlier in life.”

There has been a sharp decline in the number of Americans who consume alcohol. In 1971, 71% of Americans had the occasional drink, but that number dropped to 54% in 2025. The decline in drinking is attributed to concerns over alcohol’s effect on health and a decrease in consumption amongst younger people.


6. Cultural expectations

"By their mid-20s, most people in the 1950s and ‘60s were married, raising children, and working full-time jobs. Life was about responsibility, not self-expression. They dressed older, behaved older, and carried themselves as adults.”

7. Testosterone

“Studies show that the average testosterone has been steadily declining for decades. Men in the 1950s and ‘60s often had higher natural testosterone than men today, which gave them more muscle mass, broader builds, and in some cases, more facial hair. While that might sound like it would make them look younger, it often had the opposite effect. The heavy brows, thick body hair, and rugged features made young men look tougher, older, and more weathered than their actual age.”

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Another school district just shifted to a 4-day week and parents are making themselves heard

America already has fewer school days than most other countries.

kids, school, school days, school week, schedule, 4 day week
Unsplash

Many school districts are moving to a 4-day week, but there are pros and cons to the approach.

American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries as it is, which poses a big challenge for families with two working parents. In a system designed for the "classic" stay-at-home mom model, it's difficult for many modern families to cover childcare and fulfill their work obligations during the many, many holidays and extra days off American children receive in school.

Some school districts, in fact, are ready to take things one step further with even fewer instructional days: for better or for worse.

Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently made news when it decided to enact a four-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.

The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes many parents break out in stress hives, but this four-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? For starters, the pay is bad—but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So, they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools—starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in four-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the four-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media platforms are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the four-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

A study of schools in Iowa that had reduced instructional days found that five-days-a-week students performed better, on average.

Four-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. Of course—"school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we we work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a four-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

kids, school, school days, school week, schedule, 4 day week In a 4-day model, kids often (but not always) receive less instructional time. Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working five-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. Adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal according to expert recommendations.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working four days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

@5th_with_ms.y

Replying to @emory here are my thoughts on my 4day work week as a teacher✨ #foryou #fyp #fypシ #foryoupage #foryoupageofficiall #teachersoftiktokfyp #teachersoftiktok #teachertok #teachersbelike #teachertiktok #tik #tiktok #viralllllll #teachertoks #teaching #teacher #tok #viralvideo #teacherlife #viral #trendy #teacher #teaching #worklifebalance #worklife #publicschool #publiceducation #school #student

A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified five-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art—you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

In any case, the debate over a shortened school week is not going away any time soon. More districts across the country are doing their research in preparation for potentially making the switch.

Many parents don't theoretically mind the idea of their busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. They're also usually in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a four-day work week as the standard, the four-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.

This article originally appeared in February. It has been updated.

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Employment lawyer reveals the four text messages you should never send to a coworker

When it comes down to it, they're there to make money.

employee; employment law; work friends; work bestie; coworker boundaries; work boundaries; work life balance
Photo credit: Canva

Employment lawyer reveals 4 texts to never send a coworker

It's not uncommon for people to have a "work bestie" or "work spouse." Often, people spend a lot of their waking hours at work, so they're bound to feel like they've made true friendships with their coworkers. Before too long, numbers get exchanged, and they find themselves venting after hours about work, but this may not be a good thing.

Ed Hones is an employment attorney in Seattle, Washington, and he is not only discouraging coworkers from thinking of each other as friends, but also sharing what texts people should never send their colleagues. As an employment lawyer, Hones sees the legal fallout of the lines between friends and coworkers being blurred. Though he isn't saying people can't text their coworkers, he lists four specific types of texts to never send in case of a lawsuit.

"I see great cases destroyed every single day from one thing: old text messages," Hones reveals. "You might think that your text thread with your coworker is a safe space to vent, joke, or even scheme, but let me be clear about this one thing: it is not. In the eyes of the law, those text messages are evidence, and if you ever have to sue your employer for something, defense attorneys will find a way to get those text messages and destroy your credibility and tank your case."

employee; employment law; work friends; work bestie; coworker boundaries; work boundaries; work life balance Smiling at work, checking messages during a break.Photo credit: Canva

Of course, no one plans to sue their employer or to have their employer sue them, but sometimes things happen that result in lawsuits. Once a lawsuit is filed, discovery often follows, which means phone records and other device communications can be requested. If you've been trash-talking your boss or making egregious claims, you may be stuck having to explain it in court. But avoid sending these four texts, and you won't have to worry about your employer finding something to use against you in a lawsuit.

1. Asking a coworker to bend the rules

Hones explains that this often happens in the form of asking someone to clock you in or initial a form they forgot to complete. It may be something you think everyone does every once in a while at their place of employment, but sending a text message is documenting the request. Explicitly asking a coworker to break this employment policy can result in termination being justified. The employment attorney implores people to avoid doing it completely.

employee; employment law; work friends; work bestie; coworker boundaries; work boundaries; work life balance Man focused on his phone screen, deep in thought.Photo credit: Canva

2. Awkwardly acknowledging something inappropriate

"Here is the scenario," Hones says. "A coworker or supervisor texts you something inappropriate. Maybe it's a dirty joke or a comment about your private life, or medical condition. It makes you uncomfortable, but you have to see this person at the office tomorrow, and you don't want to make it awkward, so you reply with an LOL, laughing emoji, or a thumbs up. But if you send that text, you're walking into a legal trap called "The Unwelcome Standard.'" This means that if this behavior turns into harassment or creates a hostile environment, legally, it can be seen as being acceptable due to responses to inappropriate texts in the past.

3. Texting about job hunting

It's not uncommon for frustration to boil over and result in someone declaring they're going to start looking for a new job. Not every text or annoyed utterance about needing to find different employment is serious. Sometimes it is about blowing off steam, but other times it's truthful. Hones says not to let your employer be the one to decipher the difference in a court of law, because it may not work out in your favor. It could reduce an employee's lost wages claims, eliminate the ability to claim work conditions that resulted in an abrupt resignation, and even result in the company pushing an employee out if the text is revealed before they resign.

4. Talking trash about your boss or company

"We all need to vent, but doing it via text message hands the employer the perfect cover story," says Hones. This comes into play when an employee sues for discrimination or wrongful termination. According to the employment lawyer, if an employee sues for one of those reasons, the burden shifts to the employer to prove they didn't fire the employee for an illegal reason. If the employer discovers the negative texts about them, then it could give legitimacy to their claims if they have lied about the reasons someone was terminated. Hones says it's common for employers to lie in these cases by saying the employee was disrespectful or a bad employee, and texts trash-talking the boss would strengthen their argument.

employee; employment law; work friends; work bestie; coworker boundaries; work boundaries; work life balance Focused multitasking at the office.Photo credit: Canva

Hones explains in another video that it's not wise to assume your coworker-turned-friend will have your back in an employment investigation. Often, people need their jobs and are unwilling to risk them to help someone else keep theirs. Becoming overly familiar with a coworker may feel genuine and comfortable, but maintaining certain boundaries will help protect you legally should you ever have to sue your employer.

"Work relationships do not necessarily have to be friendly to be healthy," Dr. Maya Reynolds, MD, MPH, Psychiatrist and Behavioral Health Spokesperson at Choice Point Health, explains to Upworthy. "Keeping personal relationships and work relationships separated keeps a person free from additional emotional entanglement, rivalry, and disappointment. Because when work relationships step into personal life, promotions or disagreements can feel personal rather than professional, which brings a great emotional toll on oneself. Also, maintaining boundaries at work promotes your psychological safety."

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Millennials discuss their obsession with the teal-and-purple color combo in the '90s

"Those colors were so soothing!"

teal and purple, purple and teal, teal and purple 90s, 1990s colors, 90s trends
Images via Reddit/NoahTheAttacker, Face88888888

Millennials get nostalgic about the teal and purple color combination in the '90s.

Millennials who grew up in the 1990s remember plenty of trends from that decade. From hair ties with plastic beads to scented markers to Lite-Brites, these trends captured the essence of the '90s.

There was one color combination that marked the era's aesthetic: teal and purple. The mix became a Millennial craze, showing up on everything from clothing to cups, including the iconic Solo Jazz cup.

YouTubers Michelle Hickey and Steve King of Play Me a Memory explain how the colors exploded in popularity during the '90s, noting that the craze kicked off with a new NBA franchise: the Charlotte Hornets.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

In 1988, the Hornets joined the NBA, and their teal and purple uniforms made an immediate splash. "This was a completely different, outside-the-box concept for a design choice," King says.

The jerseys were created by North Carolina menswear fashion designer Alexander Julian. "Alex's favorite and signature color combination has always been purple and teal and it was a perfect match for his new basketball project," his website states.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Compared to other sports teams with more traditional colors, teal and purple had never been done before and became instantly memorable. Soon, the combination was replicated by other sports teams.

King adds that of the 22 new teams across the four major pro leagues (MLB, NFL, NBA, and NHL), 11 that launched in the '90s used teal and/or purple as their colors. These included the Colorado Rockies, the Baltimore Ravens, the Toronto Raptors, and the San Jose Sharks. Sports fans repped the colors on Starter jackets and other sports gear.

Beyond the sports world, teal and purple seeped into design more broadly—from food courts and franchises like Taco Bell to iMacs and even movies and TV, such as Disney's The Little Mermaid.

"When I think of that movie, I think of that teal tail and purple being the secondary color to that," Hickey says.

The trend of combining teal and purple caught on, and King points to Jonah Berger's book Contagious: Why Things Catch On for insight into why it took off. He explains that social currency played a major role—meaning kids wearing Starter jackets or other cool sports apparel had the potential to "get me somewhere as a kid in the 90s in elementary school or middle school who might be struggling to kind of catch on with a friend group or trying to make a name for themselves...if I look like everyone else does, this is going to help me fit in a little bit more."

@tikittytalk

And the award for best color duo in a decade goes to: the 90s !! #90saesthetic #90snostalgia #90s #90sthrowback #1990s

Millennials on Reddit got nostalgic about the teal and purple items they owned in the '90s and their love for the colors to this day:

"Teal and purple 90's Adidas jackets rise up." - k1dsmoke

"You forgot the greatest teal of all time, the Charlotte Hornets Starter jacket." - elcamino4629

"So I learned just recently that this is my 24-year-old daughter's new favorite color combo! I had a whole teal and purple bedroom makeover when I was like 10 years old, and honestly I kinda miss it. Those colors were so soothing!" - Morriganx3

"All my outdoor hiking gear and mountain gear are different shades of teal. Literally. People can spot me on the mtn and recognize me just because of all the teal I'm sporting 🤣." - Curious_Run_1538

"Cuz it's tight. That jazz cup aesthetic is the goat. I have that exact pattern in a hoodie." - Siriusly_Jonie

"I had a teal Gameboy color!" - inthecards13

"I still am......and just putting it together that this is probably why." - Interesting_Zombie28

"Because the best Pop-Tart was teal and purple. Wild Berry Pop-Tarts." Bob4Not, rmay14444

"My old bedroom was painted a bright teal color. With inflatable furniture, large boom box, clear phone, got milk ads on the walls….Looking at old pictures gives me headaches." - aLonerDottieArebel

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