+
A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM UPWORTHY
We are a small, independent media company on a mission to share the best of humanity with the world.
If you think the work we do matters, pre-ordering a copy of our first book would make a huge difference in helping us succeed.
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy
Joy

There's a wonderful reason why Mister Rogers always said aloud he's feeding his fish

Warning: This article is about Fred Rogers and his neighborhood, so there's a 50/50 chance you'll shed a tear.

There's a wonderful reason why Mister Rogers always said aloud he's feeding his fish



On Feb. 19, 2023, "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood," turned 55 years old. And the internet was feeling feelings over it.

After premiering on Canadian TV in 1963, Fred Rogers' beloved children's program debuted in the U.S. in 1968, inspiring generations of kids across North America to be more thoughtful, kinder neighbors.


One person feeling the feels on the show's anniversary was model, author, and Twitter goddess Chrissy Teigen.

Teigen tweeted the most delightful anecdote about why Rogers would often announce that he was feeding the fish during the show.

"Mister Rogers would narrate himself feeding the fish each episode with, 'I'm feeding the fish,' because of a letter he received from a young blind girl who was worried the fish were hungry," she wrote. "Love you, Mister Rogers."

Aaaaaand I'm crying.


Rogers included the text of the girl's letter in his book, "Dear Mister Rogers, Does It Ever Rain in Your Neighborhood?" published in 1996.

As he noted in the book (emphasis added):

One girl and her family wrote to tell us there was a special reason why she wanted me to talk about feeding the fish each day.

Dear Mister Rogers,

Please say when you are feeding your fish, because I worry about them. I can't see if you are feeding them, so please say you are feeding them out loud.

Katie, age 5 (Father's note: Katie is blind, and she does cry if you don't say that you have fed the fish.)

This downright adorable clip from the series shows Rogers reassuring little Katie that the fish were always well-fed:

Sylvia Earle brought her underwater microphone to Mister Rogers' Neighborhood so children could listen to the fish in the aquarium. When the fish don't make...

"I need to feed the fish right away," Rogers said in the episode, before shaking the container of food above the tank. "I have some friends who get very concerned when I forget the fish during our visits."

Aaaaaand I'm ugly crying.

File:Mister-Rogers-Congress.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

Rogers showed us how simple it often is to be a more compassionate friend.

"I just wanted you to know that even if I forget to feed them when we're together, I come back later and feed them, so they're always taken care of," Rogers concluded. "It's good to know that fish and animals and children are taken care of by those who can, isn't it?"

Yes it is, Mister Rogers. The world needs more neighbors like you.


This article originally appeared on 02.20.18

From Your Site Articles
Family

Moms rally around woman who planned entire family vacation but was met with only complaints

"Gratitude goes a long way—especially on family vacation!"

@a.millennialmama/TikTok

Luckily, this story has a happy ending.


Even for those who love the thrill of making vacation itineraries…it’s work. And obviously when the planning has to be done for an entire family, there’s even more effort needed to be put in. Imagine going through all the rigamarole of booking flights, hotels, rental cars, restaurant reservations, entertainment venues, last minute store runs for toiletries…without getting so much as a “thank you.”

Odds are you’d be a little miffed, even if planning is your thing.

This was the scenario that a mom Alexis Scott found herself in after planning a summer vacation for her husband and two teen children. Thankfully, the now-viral TikTok post venting her frustrations inspired several folks to give her some much deserved support.

In the video, Scott began, “I'm on a family vacation right now with my two teenagers and my husband. We flew in late last night. We think we got in at like 12:15 a.m. and headed to get a rental car and then got to our Airbnb. And I am frustrated.”

Scott had tried and tried to get any input from her family about what they might want to do, and each time got the same reply: “‘Whatever you want, mom. I don't care. Okay. I don't care.’”

“Great. Glad I'm planning this vacation for everybody to not care,” Scott lamented.

Still, she did the planning—cause someone had to do it. But as soon as the vacation started, all her decisions were met with complaints. From being called “cheap” for getting too small of an SUV rental car to being told “Mom is never going to be in charge of booking the Airbnb again. She can't even this, that and the other,’” after the family found out their AirBnb was three stories with quite a few stairs.

@a.millennialmama Gratitude goes a long way - especially on family vacation! #momsoftiktok #millennialmom #millennial #familyvacation #familyvacay #sos ♬ original sound - a.millennialmama

“Then this morning, we wake up and it's an urban setting. We live in a very quiet suburban setting and my husband's saying how he barely slept and this and that. And I'm just like, enough!” she said.

All of this happened within the first 24 hours of the trip. It’s easy to see why Scott needed to vent.

Her video concluded with:

I have been the only one to put in all the effort in planning this trip. And I know there's videos on mental load, but this is prime time example of me. I'm shouldering the mental load for my entire family and everybody has something to say about it. So, yeah, I'm frustrated. Please pray for me that we can all turn our attitudes around and have a great day.”

Down in the comments, viewers could totally empathize with Scott for feeling burnt out and disappointed.

“Oh gosh the mental load of planning every detail and then knowing is something goes wrong or isn't’ perfect it’s all on you. Been there,” one person shared.

Another added, “I tell my husband that I haven’t been on vacation since I was a child and he’s alway confused bc to him, ‘we’ go on vacation every year. Only other moms would understand what I mean.”

Many suggested that she do something for herself instead.

“Just Irish goodbye one morning, go to brunch alone, hit the spa or a pool and come home after dinner,” one person wrote.

“Go and do whatever you want to do!! Spa day sounds perfect and take yourself out for fabulous meals!!” echoed another.

On a positive note: this story does have a happy ending. In a follow-up video, Scott shared how she showed her family the TikTok video she made, and it did turn things around.

@a.millennialmama Replying to @thisisntaboutme 🍉🍉🍉 absolutelt no apology video… but they listened to my feelings and we have had a good day so far ❤️🙏🏼 #momsoftiktok #grateful #teenagers #millennial #millennialmom #vacation #travel ♬ original sound - a.millennialmama


“We have actually had a really, really great day today,” she said. “Everyone has had positive attitudes. I've heard a lot of thank yous and my kids have been buying their little side purchases with their own money and not even asking me to pay for it... but they have been really self-sufficient in that space.”

All in all, Scott recognizes that her family is “human,” and a big part of being human is apologizing when a mistake is made and moving forward.

“We love each other. This was a learning experience.”

By the way, Scott's entire TikTok is dedicated to relatable mom content. You can follow along here.


This article originally appeared on 6.14.24

From Your Site Articles
motherhood
Parenting

'Why do you need?' Mom is forever grateful for stranger who helped with 2-kid Ikea meltdown

She's trying to find the stranger to thank them in person.

Photo credit: Canva

Woman makes mom cry in Ikea after kids' tantrums, receives thank you

It's very likely a universal fact that parenting is a difficult venture at times. Children are new to this planet and no matter how well we think we've prepared, something will come up that knocks you off kilter a bit. But you can't stay trapped in your house forever until the kids learn how to behave in public, so out the house you must go.

You pack up what feels like your entire house in hopes you'll have the things needed to manage whatever tantrum comes your way. Jess Jones, a mom of four found herself in this parenting predicament while on a trip to Ikea. The mom was alone with all four children in an attempt to get shopping done before the crowds picked up, but her children had more exciting plans.

Jones explains in a video posted to social media that her 4-year-old has a lot of "additional needs" and began to have a bit of a meltdown during their shopping trip. One child having big emotions would've been enough but the mom's 2-year-old began throwing a tantrum at the same time. Clearly outnumbered and overwhelmed Jones was trying to focus on calming the kids and getting checked out. That's when a strange woman approached her.

"I just needed to pause for a second and this woman came up to me," Jones says getting emotional. "She put her arm around me and she just said, 'what do you need? What can I do for you right now?' I looked at her and I covered my mouth and I burst into tears."

The woman offered Jones whatever help she needed though she was there with her own family. Jones shares that the family was so patient waiting with her, then helping her and kids to the car. The grateful mom is hoping that the video finds its way to the woman that helped her. Commenters can't get over how beautiful the interaction was.



"This is such a lovely message. We are constantly shown people at their worst. How nice it is to hear about someone at their best. God bless her and God bless you. Thank you for sharing that - made my day," one person writes to the emotional mom.

"I don't have children but I can completely understand how overwhelmed you must have felt, how lovely that there are such kind people in the world," someone empathetically shares.

"Thank you for sharing this as a reminder for us women who raised children to be supportive and helpful to moms with youngers we have all been there," one mom reminds others.

"I think everybody is crying with you. Thank you for making us aware that sometimes you need help. What a wonderful woman, I think you made her day too by being do grateful for her help," another commenter says.

It may feel a bit awkward to offer help to a stranger in the middle of Ikea, but this story is a great reminder that everybody needs help every once in a while. Hopefully Jones finds the mystery woman to give her a proper thank you.

From Your Site Articles
handling tantrums
Education

Mom shares how her first grader's homework on the second day of school broke his spirit

"It's breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Photo credit: Cassi Nelson/Facebook

How much homework is too much homework?

Debates about homework are nothing new, but the ability of parents to find support for homework woes from thousands of other parents is a fairly recent phenomenon.

A mom named Cassi Nelson shared a post about her first grader's homework and it quickly went viral. Nelson shared that her son had come home from his second day of school with four pages of homework, which she showed him tearfully working on at their kitchen counter.

"He already doesn’t get home from school until 4pm," she wrote. "Then he had to sit still for another hour plus to complete more work. I had to clear out the kitchen so he could focus. His little legs kept bouncing up and down, he was bursting with so much energy just wanting to go play. Then he broke my heart when he looked up at me with his big teary doe eyes and asked…. 'Mommy when you were little did you get distracted a lot too?!' Yes sweet baby, mommy sure did too! I don’t know how ppl expect little children to sit at school all day long and then ALSO come home to sit and do MORE work too…."

Nelson tells Upworthy that she was "shocked" that kindergarteners and first graders have homework, much less the amount they were expected to do. "We didn't have homework like this when we were in these younger grades."

Expert opinion and research is somewhat mixed on the homework front, but there isn't any conclusive evidence that homework is universally beneficial for students and too much homework can actually be harmful. As a standard, the National Education Association (NEA) and the National Parent Teacher Association (NPTA) support a limit on homework of “10 minutes of homework per grade level."

With that as a guide, a first grader shouldn't have more than 10 minutes of homework on any given school day, but it's not unusual for young kids to have two or three times the recommended limit of homework. That can be stressful for both kids and parents, cutting into valuable family time and limiting kids' time to decompress, play and freely engage in imaginative activity.

As Nelson concluded, "It’s breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Most parents and even most teachers in the comments agreed with her that four pages of homework is too much for a first grader, especially on only the second day of school:

"Poor little man. Children below a certain grade should not be given homework! Small children have a hard time sitting still for a long period of time yet alone expected to sit and do hours of homework, for what??? They are SMALL CHILDREN! Let them snack, play, laugh and all the other fun things when they get home. You are only a child once, they don't need that taken away from them. Let them embrace their inner creativity, imagination, recipes, etc."

"This breaks my spirit. Our schools are huge scams. You're exactly right Cassi. Homework is ridiculous. Kids til the age of 10 primarily learn through real life situations and play scenarios."

"I hate that for him! My little one has ADHD and doing homework after sitting in class all day is very stressful to him and makes him hate school. They are in school for 7 hours they shouldn’t have homework. That definitely takes away any kind of family time and that’s why kids never spend time with parents anymore because they have all this homework to do after being gone all day.I feel that if it can’t be done in the 7 hours they have the kids then it should wait until the next school day."

"I don’t make them do homework at home when they are that little. It’s not fair!They are at school allllll day! And it’s already sooooo much for their little bodies and brains! I’ve never had a teacher upset about it either.. and even if I did oh well!"

"That breaks my heart. 4 pages is absolutely ridiculous for young kids. My daughter is going into 2nd grade next month, the 2 years in school it was always 1 page of homework sometimes back and front if it was math. And to read."

"I was in this boat with my son…conversation with the principal and teachers helped dramatically!! It’s too much and we have to advocate for them."

Nelson was blown away by the response to her post, which has been shared on Facebook over 89,000 times. "I NEVER thought me sharing my thoughts openly about how my heart hurt watching my little guy struggle would connect to so many others worldwide going through the same thing," she says.

Many parents shared that excessive homework is one of the reasons they decided to homeschool their children, which Nelson took to heart. The week after sharing her viral homework post, she shared that they had had their first day of homeschooling. It was "A HUGE SUCCESS!!!!" she wrote, with her son getting far more work done in a far shorter amount of time, sitting for classes for just 1 hour and 45 minutes total.

Nelson tells Upworthy she was totally intimidated to try homeschooling. "I seriously thought there was no way," she says. "But I knew I had to set my fear aside and just take the leap for my kids. I told myself I'd figure it out one way or another. And here we are three days in and it's been the easiest and best choice I've ever made."

Homeschooling is not going to the right solution for every family, however, so the question of homework remains an important issue for kids, parents, teachers and schools to work out.

From Your Site Articles
education
Family

Mom says kids need to 'entertain each other' on playdates because she isn't doing it.

"I’m not producing the fun.”

via cottonbro studio/Pexels

Children playing with blocks.

One woman wonders if she somehow “missed a whole chapter in mom lessons” for her more laissez faire attitude towards playdates.

In a video posted to her TikTok, Lisa Pontius shared that she doesn’t organize playdates when her daughter has friends over, but instead gives them “free reign” to “do their own thing.”

“You know the rules, you’re almost 10, you’re good, you’re on your own. I’ll make lunch, I’ll make snacks, I’ll help you open things, but I’m not producing the fun,” she said.

After seeing how other families handle playdates, however, Pontius feels that her approach “controversial.”

“When I send my kids to other people’s houses, they’re like, ‘Yeah, we made model robots and we went to the zoo,’” she quipped.

Pontius did add a disclaimer, saying “Don’t get me wrong: I love that for the other moms — you want to bake cookies with my kid with five other kids over? Have a blast.”

But for her, “The playdate’s the activity…I thought the whole point of having another kid over is so that they would just play with their stuff and entertain each other.” And while the kids are entertaining themselves, she’s catching up on chores and laundry.

Pontius then asked viewers to weigh in, saying “When your kids have friends over, do you have pre-set activities that you know that you’re going to bring out for them to do? Or do you just let them be kids and have free rein of the house and their toys?”

“ ... If I’m the only one ... I’m going to start coming up with an itinerary.”


@itsme_lisap Do you have a playdate itinerary? #momlife #momsoftiktok #playdate ♬ original sound - Lisa P


Judging by the comments, Pontius certainly doesn't need to feel alone. Plenty of other parents shared how they too opt for more hands-off playdates.

“The playdate definitely is the activity! Kids need free play. Seriously. I’m a parenting educator.”

“The social connection is the activity. It gives them time to learn to compromise, talk, be creative and just enjoy being themselves.”

“I never prearrange activities. Maybe we’ll go somewhere occasionally, but I don’t figure out activities in our home. I think kids need to learn to entertain themselves as a vital skill!”

“I would plan for maybe up to 3 or 4 years old but not beyond. They need to use their imaginations!”

Mom of three here. They are all grown now but in my playdate era, IALWAYs left them to their own imagination and energy. Occasionally we’d have something available as a special activity but not always.”

"We're supposed to plan something?"

Others countered that sometimes, some structure is beneficial. Necessary even—depending on kids’ ages and personalities.

“Depends on the friends. Some act too feral and trash our house so I have to plan.”

“It always depended on which friends were coming over. Some kids needed a combination of organized and free play.”

“I have a backup activity if they need help getting started because toddlers can be weird and just stare at each other.”

Honestly, these are all valid points. Structured activities and free play both have equally important roles in a kid’s life.

One helps them learn how to follow rules and achieve a goal while the other stimulates their imagination and independence. As with most things, balance is key.

And for many kids already attending school (which, minus recess, is a pretty much all structured activities), maybe a playdate where they set the pace is exactly what’s needed to achieve said balance.

Point being, every kid needs a little something different. So whether parents are team #plannedactivity or #freeplayFTW, there’s no reason to feel like they’re doing parenting wrong somehow.

From Your Site Articles
kids
Motherhood

Mom bought her 7-year-old two-inch high heels and it ignited a heated parenting debate

Is it "bad parenting," or instilling "confidence"?

via Bella Zhong and RDNE Stock project

After seeing her daughter in tears, Florida mom Liana DeGeorge says she "cracked" and bought a pair of heels.

Some kids gravitate towards big kid stuff really early on. This tends to be especially true for girls, many of whom want to start experimenting with grown up clothes and makeup—and skin care from Sephora, of course.

Parents must decide whether or not to entertain these urges, whether to allow kids the freedom to explore and express themselves, or to protect them with boundaries. And rest assured, this will never be a decision all parents can agree on.

Just ask Florida mom Liana DeGeorge. Recently, DeGeorge bought her 7-year-old a pair of heels, which, unbeknownst to her, would ignite raucous online debate as to whether or not this was “bad parenting.”

In a video posted to her Instagram, DeGeorge shared how her daughter kept “begging” for a two inch pair of chunky heels she had tried on, despite mom telling her “let’s just wait a few more years.”

After seeing the tears in her daughter’s eye, DeGeorge admitted she “cracked” and let her have them, dubbing them “special occasion shoes” only.

The clip ends with DeGeorge’s daughter sashaying around in her kitten heels, while DeGeorge writes “let me tell you she SHINED.”

Objectively speaking, age 7 is quite a bit younger than 14-16, which is what podiatrist Romona Brooks recommends for starting young ones off in heels to avoid developing problems like lower back pain, shin splints, ankle sprains and fractures, bunions and hammertoes.

This was just one of the points that critics took against DeGorge’s decision, some saying that she was “deforming” her daughter’s feet. Many others argued that it taught her daughter how to cross boundaries.

“Moral of the story: cry if you want something,” one person wrote, while another bluntly said, “You are the mum, you should learn to say no.”

Others felt strongly that it was simply too grown up, and could attract the wrong kind of adult attention. As one person put it, “I was fine until I saw her swish walk. She’s SEVEN.”

Another joked, “Why stop there, next time give a glass of wine and a smoke.”

Still, there were plenty others who thought these comments were entirely too “dramatic,” and even remembered doing the same thing as kids.

“Why are people bugging out? It’s not like she’s wearing stilettos. I’ve been wearing those type of low block ‘heels’ since I was 6,” one person wrote.

Another added, “I had a pair of heels when I was little — it’s every little girl’s dream to be like their mama.”

Others applauded DeGeorge for helping give her kid a self esteem boost.

“I just know when she wears them she feels so confident 💕 you did good mama!!!” wrote one viewer.

For what it’s worth, Brooks does note that if a child insists on wearing heels, there are safe ways to comply, primarily by choosing a low, block-style heel with spaces for growing toes, and to only allow them on for 2-4 hours maximum, and certainly not every day. All of which DeGeorge seems to be doing.

And in an interview with Today, DeGeorge added that while she has no regrets buying her daughter the shoes, she does "say no to lots of things.”

“My daughter will say, ‘Mommy, my friends have TikTok' and I’m like, ‘Are you kidding me?! You guys are 7!”

DeGeorge also countered that while people are warning her to not let her daughter grow up too fast, “this big-girl moment is part of her childhood,” and she wants to honor that.

Finding the balance between protection and freedom is a never ending battle for parents. And while there are certain aspects of modern life that undeniably expose kids to things which threaten their innocence, this story is a reminder that for the most part, there's also a whole lot of gray area.

From Your Site Articles
kids
Trending Stories